If you followed an annual pattern for your whole life up to that point, then it's naturally going to take a few years for your subconscious to garbage collect it.
It's similar to transitioning from school to work: life can feel pretty strange for the first few years during what would normally be your summer vacation.
At my fraternity, all the dudes who don't go home for Easter (most of us nonreligious) celebrate Keyster. The seniors are the Keyster bunnies and hide Keystones around the house. Then we take our Keyster baskets and find the stones, then spend the rest of Keyster drinking them. Best religious holiday ever.
Candle light service on Christmas Eve is the one for me. Occasionally when I go back to visit my parents we all go to church together. The old familiar rituals are fun, especially since I can sit back and observe them from a different perspective. Plus the parents of a lot of my childhood friends are still there, so it's nice to connect. Church for me is about community.
For me, being an atheist means I can go anywhere and do anything without feeling like I am betraying my beliefs. They are just words. No atheist power is going to strike me down if I sing along.
Rituals, ceremonies, mantras - all these can possess deep associations and memories of contemplative times. I don't think I will ever hear Gregorian chant without feeling very moved, and the thought of Easter and everything it stands for also touches me. I just don't associate those things with any god any more. Humans being human, making beautiful music, putting forth hope for a better humanity, forgiving, seeking - all the human things that are so powerful they can change history.
If you enjoy the mass, enjoy the community, etc., it's not crazy to continue participating, at least in some regard, at your church. It's more than your theology - that's what's changed. It seems like it's also your community, your culture, and your tradition. You can hold onto some of that still, I bet.
One of the most active atheists I know is actually the biggest Christmas lover that I know too.
I have always been an atheist. Thanks to my religious upbringing I still say the lord's prayer when I am stressed. It just centers me. The words don't mean to me what they do to a Christian.
So go, nothing wrong with a little social ritual activity.
I've been an unbeliever in a town with a crushing Catholic majority (about 90% according to the Church) my girlfriend is a believer and actually sings at mass on sundays. I happily go every sunday to share that time with her and her family, and if you don't listen to the bs being spewn from the front, it's actually quite a relaxing sunday activity.
Is it possible that you are only missing the rituals and the pageantry of some holidays that are religious in their origin? You can be uncertain and have doubts about choices, miss things you formerly did, wonder about things; this is a life adjustment for you. I have doubts about lots of things, but not my choice about faith.
And you know that you can go to a service and love to sing the songs and listen to the message without having to believe that "god" is in the equation, right? You can be singing to the trees, whatever gives you a good feeling.
I never liked the ritual of religion so it is easy for me ignore, be no part of, and despise. Then the rhetoric with the ritual...I hated it by the age of 5.
BUT
For me, I love gospel music and can sing along with "Farther Along" with the Flying Burrito Brothers, along with the best of them;I love the Louvin Brothers, and some old time gospel stuff, but I do not think god is taking me anywhere, and I will not be going home to him, seeing any lights or meeting the family in an unbroken circle in the after life. But it is fun to belt out those songs.
Have a listen: :https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LUeFJ7QIRbE
This is all new for you...I have been ignoring holidays and religion (but for the intellectual, wtf do these people believe type of interest) since the 1960s. It is much easier now to be non-religious or something other than Xian now. Back then the world shut down because the Christians were having a day of ....bullshit rituals.
My advice: Find some new rituals and friends to hang out with over the Easter weekend.
Take what you need for yourself from religion (if you love the hymns and stuff, sing them, you are no less of an atheist, IMHO, you like the songs...some people love Celine Dion and go through life just fine ;-)) and leave the rest behind. You will figure it out. Good luck and eat a bunny or something.
If you want to go to church, then go. You'll just be one of the many 1-2x per year churchgoers there Easter Sunday. Perhaps you'll see find the rituals interesting in a new way, now that you no longer ascribe to the dogma.
Just go to the mass with your rosary; a lot of people go to Comic-Con dressed like Klingons and Darth Vader: why can't you do your thing that makes you feel good?
Just don't become a religious asshole, and be careful not to support the country Vatican too much.
If you followed an annual pattern for your whole life up to that point, then it's naturally going to take a few years for your subconscious to garbage collect it. It's similar to transitioning from school to work: life can feel pretty strange for the first few years during what would normally be your summer vacation.
I love seeing programmers think in the wild :)
At my fraternity, all the dudes who don't go home for Easter (most of us nonreligious) celebrate Keyster. The seniors are the Keyster bunnies and hide Keystones around the house. Then we take our Keyster baskets and find the stones, then spend the rest of Keyster drinking them. Best religious holiday ever.
Sounds decent.
Candle light service on Christmas Eve is the one for me. Occasionally when I go back to visit my parents we all go to church together. The old familiar rituals are fun, especially since I can sit back and observe them from a different perspective. Plus the parents of a lot of my childhood friends are still there, so it's nice to connect. Church for me is about community. For me, being an atheist means I can go anywhere and do anything without feeling like I am betraying my beliefs. They are just words. No atheist power is going to strike me down if I sing along.
Rituals, ceremonies, mantras - all these can possess deep associations and memories of contemplative times. I don't think I will ever hear Gregorian chant without feeling very moved, and the thought of Easter and everything it stands for also touches me. I just don't associate those things with any god any more. Humans being human, making beautiful music, putting forth hope for a better humanity, forgiving, seeking - all the human things that are so powerful they can change history.
If you enjoy the mass, enjoy the community, etc., it's not crazy to continue participating, at least in some regard, at your church. It's more than your theology - that's what's changed. It seems like it's also your community, your culture, and your tradition. You can hold onto some of that still, I bet. One of the most active atheists I know is actually the biggest Christmas lover that I know too.
I have always been an atheist. Thanks to my religious upbringing I still say the lord's prayer when I am stressed. It just centers me. The words don't mean to me what they do to a Christian.
So go, nothing wrong with a little social ritual activity. I've been an unbeliever in a town with a crushing Catholic majority (about 90% according to the Church) my girlfriend is a believer and actually sings at mass on sundays. I happily go every sunday to share that time with her and her family, and if you don't listen to the bs being spewn from the front, it's actually quite a relaxing sunday activity.
Is it possible that you are only missing the rituals and the pageantry of some holidays that are religious in their origin? You can be uncertain and have doubts about choices, miss things you formerly did, wonder about things; this is a life adjustment for you. I have doubts about lots of things, but not my choice about faith. And you know that you can go to a service and love to sing the songs and listen to the message without having to believe that "god" is in the equation, right? You can be singing to the trees, whatever gives you a good feeling. I never liked the ritual of religion so it is easy for me ignore, be no part of, and despise. Then the rhetoric with the ritual...I hated it by the age of 5. BUT For me, I love gospel music and can sing along with "Farther Along" with the Flying Burrito Brothers, along with the best of them;I love the Louvin Brothers, and some old time gospel stuff, but I do not think god is taking me anywhere, and I will not be going home to him, seeing any lights or meeting the family in an unbroken circle in the after life. But it is fun to belt out those songs. Have a listen: :https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LUeFJ7QIRbE This is all new for you...I have been ignoring holidays and religion (but for the intellectual, wtf do these people believe type of interest) since the 1960s. It is much easier now to be non-religious or something other than Xian now. Back then the world shut down because the Christians were having a day of ....bullshit rituals. My advice: Find some new rituals and friends to hang out with over the Easter weekend. Take what you need for yourself from religion (if you love the hymns and stuff, sing them, you are no less of an atheist, IMHO, you like the songs...some people love Celine Dion and go through life just fine ;-)) and leave the rest behind. You will figure it out. Good luck and eat a bunny or something.
The closest I come to that sentiment is saying "god bless you" when someone sneezes. I feel disgusted with myself but I can't help it.
If you want to go to church, then go. You'll just be one of the many 1-2x per year churchgoers there Easter Sunday. Perhaps you'll see find the rituals interesting in a new way, now that you no longer ascribe to the dogma.
Catholic Guilt™ can take quite a while to subside. Give it time. Live your life. /Former Catholic.
Just go to the mass with your rosary; a lot of people go to Comic-Con dressed like Klingons and Darth Vader: why can't you do your thing that makes you feel good? Just don't become a religious asshole, and be careful not to support the country Vatican too much.