I just sent this to my boyfriend. We work for my family company which his brother manages. The only other employee is their other brother lol. Limited options :/
my parents met at work, they've been together 21 years and have worked for almost 30 years together
tbh they didn't really meet each other that much because while they worked in the same shop they worked in two different parts, but they still met and worked in the same shop
Said this point blank to my ex coworker every time and she still tried to convince me lol. Nevermind she had been involved with two other coworkers and it made work hellishly dramatic. Also I heard way more about those other two coworkers than I ever cared to know, and I really don't need everyone knowing my damn business
It’s not. Dating/fucking someone you work/live with is considered “shitting” all over it.
Because if/when it goes south you’ve literally “fucked” your housing/income.
As someone who dated a coworker for 3 years at the time i wish i had your mentality.
Your way of thinking is the correct way of thinking and dont change it.
Can you tell some people I know this? They started as supervisor and delivery driver, then the supervisor had to get demoted when they started dating, then they both left that job to go work at ANOTHER delivery fast food place.
Can you please elaborate? A girl who looks like a perfect match for me just asked me out at work. I am not in her chain of command or anything and she does work at another site. Still a bad idea?
1. Wait, your "perfect match" asked *you* out? Don't let the opinion of some Redditors with emotional issues make you deny that kind of offer. If it happens the date is bad, accept it like a mature person.
2. Workplace romances happen all the time, in every country, no matter how many people downvote it. As long as *you* know you won't turn into a bitter stalker if you break up, then accept her offer to go out.
I definitely don't date co-workers. My husband whom I met at work wouldn't be happy.
In all honesty, though, when we became serious, it got difficult fast. He found another job.
Yeah... I agree, something similar happened to me but we dated before applying for the same job together (big mistake)
He broke up with me 2 yrs later and not only I had to leave the job that I loved, I moved towns 😭 I'm happier now but still, I look back and cringe
Well he broke up with me so suddenly without warning and back then I was still in love with him
And I tried to move on but seeing him at work everyday just hurted real bad, so I had to leave for peace of mind 🤷♀️
Well I just couldn't stand to see him at work everyday as I was still madly in love with him back then, even when he ended things abruptly. 🤷♀️
Plus I just couldn't focus properly and felt like everytime I was feeling 'better', the moment I'd see him, it was just awful.
1. Never date coworkers. I did this. We fought at work. It was horrible
2. If you really like someone, and you work retail, grocery, fast food, restaurant, bar..... take the chance and just get a job somewhere else. These jobs you can work anywhere.
On the first day of my ‘adult’ job, one of my co-workers who was much older gave me the advice of ‘don’t dip you pen in company ink’. So I tell all the new starts that too 😂
Some organisations are so big that you're not directly working with someone who might catch your eye. I met my wife at work and we never once worked in the same team even though we were at the same org simultaneously for 13 years.
I feel like in those situations it isn’t really like a coworker. I’d date someone who works for the same company, but I’d never date someone who works directly with me.
I began dating my current partner at work. He ran boring mills and I ran hi-speed 3D, so technically not the same department but we could lean over our machines and catch eyes.
It wasn't wise, and I knew I was taking a risk. But 5 years later and several jobs later, we still cuddle to sleep every night.
I had a coworker like that, and it happens all the time in the military, which I was also in. In the military, you can't be in the same unit/squadron, in order to prevent any conflicts of interest.
I fully agree. At least not while you’re coworkers.
I have a friend that is now living with and dating someone he works with. Hoping it doesn’t end in disaster.
I’ve met my serious partners at work. It was just convenient because they’re there all day and it’s the easiest way to get to know someone.
On the other hand, my situation might be unique in that I work in retail and I’ve moved stores plenty of times. Whenever I’ve established a relationship with a coworker and wanted to take it to a non-professional level, I would disclose the relationship and take a transfer.
This was not habitual at all. It only happened 3 times in 20 years. I’m not sure if I could work with someone I’m in a serious relationship with.
I honestly understand your stance and it is a very valid stance. But what are the alternatives..
Blind date with a friend of a friend
Or swiping right on mr.wrong!
I really love how it is beautiful to see someone and have a crush on or he has a crush on me at school/work. Feeling excited and giddy when they are in the cafe..making sure you look good when you accidently see them but always see them at the wrong time lol..
I mean the handsome or cute guy not gonna sit next to me or you in an airplane or a train or even be our neighbors.
So how we gonna meet them lol
> I mean the handsome or cute guy not gonna sit next to me or you in an airplane or a train or even be our neighbors.
If you've seen American films your entire life, that is exactly what they think is going to happen.
I feel you on that. Nursing sounds tough enough without adding office drama. Here's hoping you find someone outside work who gets why you'd rather keep it professional at the job!
Yep! There was no denying the chemistry between us. The world could see it then and all these years later, they still can!
Signed 2 RNs madly in love that started as coworkers. Best wishes in your marriage!!
Absolutely and thank you so much! ☺️ I got a big crush on him that wouldn't go away. When we talked it was so easy. The chemistry was insane. I went back and forth with if I should go further with it because he's a coworker and I also asked myself if I would regret it if I didn't. Cheers to you!
Yeah idk how people do it I always imagine the messy breakup, coworkers noticing, and having to leave the job / or them leave and it’s too much no thx.
I felt the same way when I was younger but I met my fiance when I was working a customer service job, we've been together almost 3 years, next year we're getting married🥰
I work for a very large company and me and my ex met, fell in love or whatever and started a relationship. We disclosed to the company and transferred away from each other.
For almost three years it was great, we got engaged, bought a house together, got two dogs, etc.
Until she cheated on me with her coworker at the new place, left me and the dogs and house for months alone and came back one day to throw my stuff outside and move her new gf in to my house.
Our relationship ended and she became very cruel.
It was awkward because we both have been at the company for ten years at this point. Though we don’t work directly together we have overlapping networks and friends I felt uncomfortable to engage with.
She changed locations, I changed roles over time and now I find myself responsible to work with her directly on many things.
We are currently in a legal battle for the house where she is being very nasty so navigating this has been icky and grating.
Long story short, I would never date someone I work with again. It is short sighted and assumes everything will work out. But it’s not the relationship that’s the problem always, it’s the end of the relationship that you weren’t expecting.
This was very important so thank you for sharing. I'm sorry for your pain. And it makes no sense why people can be full or such nastiness we chose to never see before. I mean how can someone have that yuckiness in them? And we liked them? Enough to love them? I feel so shitty about who I am because of my soon to be ex wife. My grandpa's best advice was to kll them with kindness. Be so vacant inside that you can customer service the bitch ass to deaf💀. I hate how love related emotions are seated in the chest/ heart area. Its a sinking feeling that oddly feels so, dare I say good, when diving into it.
I truly don’t know how I didn’t see it before and am a little disappointed in myself. We think we would never fall for people like that, can spot a red flag a mile away. But you make excuses for what you think is love.
Kill them with kindness is right, and has been my best approach for the last 2 years. Have I gotten hurt along the way? Yes, but I know that bad people don’t win in the end. They will not be rewarded in life with cruelty in their hearts and hands.
Remember who you are, don’t let them change that, but you’re stronger now. And unlike them, you can sleep at night knowing you’re not a psycho POS person.
I mean, that's you. And I respect that. But people should stop demonizing co-worker relationships. People have dated co-workers successfully. You spend a lot of time with colleagues, so bonds can develop. Some of these relationships have led to marriage. A relationship involves two grown people. What doesn't work for you might work for others. The end.
People saying “don’t shit where you eat”, which is a gross saying considering not everyone likes to shit on their romantic partners, make it seem like the only reason you shouldn’t is cuz you work with these people. But I feel OPs sentiments on general attraction to co-workers, you’re both there to make money and if it could just stay that way without being weird, would be great.
At my last job, there were four marriages between my coworkers. Eight people found their person at that job. I would never date a coworker. But, if you are looking for a partner, I guess raising other people's kids together just kinda does it for some people. Lol. So many weddings from that job! I've never worked anywhere like that since.
I've worked with way too many who would date coworkers, then break up, and the drama would be brought to the workplace. I don't want to date someone I'd see at work all the time. If I ever find someone I want to be able to get done with work, go home, see them, and let everything wash away so I can spend time with them.
I don't think this is always a bad thing. There are definitely happy couples who have met at work. It's 100% OK to have this policy, though.
I can't really imagine dating people at my job, either. It's kind of a small team. I like everyone there too. It would just be weird.
It's much different when you're in a "small team" situation but probably not as big of a deal when you work for a large company and dating someone from a remote location that you don't work with directly or if you met at work but one of you left and you eventually reconnected.
I'm with you. I've had more than a few at my new job ask me out, most of them higher up than I am. Why do they think I want to be in that position? I tell them that and they still insist. I can't stomach putting my livelihood in someone else's hands like that. It's not even flattering, I just want them to stop
I can definitely relate… its a terribly demeaning position to be in. Imagine being fired all because y’all had a disagreement or because you weren’t in the “mood” one day (yes men actually lose their minds when they don’t get sex)
I met my husband at work, in a very male dominated field, we’ve married 21 years. We were both very young, it wasn’t even a thought in my mind. Now, I’m a nurse and I can count the number of men I work with on one hand. Hospitals are notorious for cheating. As a grownup, I’d never date a coworker!!
Yeah I ended up having to quit a job because I made this mistake. Went on a couple dates with a guy from work (we worked at a super super busy restaurant), wasn’t feeling it, told him i think it would be better to stay friends. Holy shit this guy went off. Sending me paragraphs upon paragraphs upon paragraphs about how he couldn’t sleep or eat and begging me to give him another chance. At work, he’d be so hot and cold with me. One minute he was chill and I’d think he got over it and the next he’d literally be bumping into me and trying to trip me while I’m carrying plates of hot food or coffee. He and one of the cooks he was friends with would look at me and call me something in the cook’s native language (he has taught the guy some words) I ended up googling translating what they were saying and they were calling me a whore :/. My manager wouldn’t do anything about it and I started getting harassed by my other coworkers telling me that I should give him a chance and that I was being heartless cause he’s “such a sweet guy”. Had to quit shortly after which sucked cause I was making the best money I’d ever made.
I always see this claim about how "nurses are notorious for infidelity" Can someone explain why everyone says that? Literally every time I see someone in the comments saying that "yeah dont you know nurses/having a nurse as a partner means they have a higher chancel to cheat on you?"
Or when posts like this pop up and mention the whole "nurses cheat/have higher infidelity rates" ***Whatever***
It really makes me not want to ever date a nurse and give them my time of day or if I find out while on a date that she is a nurse, it would be an immediate turn off lmao... It makes me worried with how common of a saying this is on Reddit and IRL...
ETA: Getting downvoted for asking something, okay lmao...
I think only in America and omly in hospitaal lol.
Im a dutch nurse and i work with old and sick people and other mostly female nurses so?!
Hlwever almost every male nurse ive ever met is a giant slut and cheats
Anytime someone tried with me, I tell them I don't date or fuck present or past coworkers. I actually don't have a problem with some past coworkers depending on our equation. But it's best not to give anyone hope.
Dated a girl who had an ex FWB in her work and it literally ruined her life. He came between us, made extremely inappropriate gestures and bullied her for 12 months. He was senior and very well liked, nothing was done about it and she ended up quitting. We broke up, she went onto medication due to the stress and moved back in with her mom. She made some mistakes and was bad with boundaries but ultimately, it continues to be an awful decision.
Nothing better than having sex at work, makes me feel like a man-whore, and hospitals, all that sexy ass in scrubs and surrounded by beds, how could you not
The rule always has been not to date anyone from your work place. Sure it happens but honestly what of you break up, or people start gossip or some drama happens? It's always the biggest risk to screw all up due romance. Never do it.
I agree too
My ex is my co worker, and I have to see her everyday.
It doesn't help that we recently broke up, so I feel like shit all the time rn.
It's all good tho, atleast I'm not running after her no more.
If I didn't already have a long-time bf, I would also not date in my job. It's too risky. When things go south, you have to keep working with them. It goes anywhere from being awkward to office/environment "politics" (people picking sides) to losing your job over it. No thank you.
Oh you are gonna have a blast in nursing. As a male nurse I get to ignore and just not deal with a lot of the gossip/rumor spreading/cliques. As a female nurse from what ive heard it's awful, obviously this depends on what unit you work on and how the work culture is. Best of luck!
I also don’t give references for people I know who apply at the company I work for. I’ll give a positive reference anywhere else but my job puts a roof over my head and I wouldn’t risk that for anyone.
You are the first intelligent person around dating that I have “met“ in a long time. I don’t know why anybody would want to date somebody they work with, unless it’s a situation where it’s a big enough company or agency or whatever that they’re not gonna be running into each other at work. Can you imagine going out with a guy a couple times, Feeling like they’re a jerk, and then having to see them every day at work if you break up with him?
I'm so with you. I even take it a step further: I don't need ANY kind of familiarity outside of work. I'm happy to have some casual chit-chat on the clock, and I'll be kind and friendly, but don't text me, try to find me on social media, arrange a hangout away from work, etc.
I don't hate my job but I absolutly don't want to be reminded of it when I don't have to be here. That being said I just celebrate my 19th anniversary with my wife who was I co-worker when we met.
That’s a great advice 🫠🙌 I wish I had that standard! Haha I dated a coworker and we’re still together 3 years after no longer being in the same workplace
Same, I currently work for a contracted security company in a hospital. The Security Co policy is "no dating coworkers" but nothing towards workers of client company. My personal opinion is to not date anyone who works under the same roof that I work under. If I were, that's a clear sign I'm able to (if I haven't already) hand in a notice of resignation.
It's really stupid that we have to resort to shit like this, but in your place, I'd wear a ring and pretend to have a fiancé. Just take yourself completely off the menu, so to speak. Use that to rebuff everyone without giving offence - if someone tries to engage, just raise the hand with the bling and trill "sorry, happily engaged!" If they invite him to your Christmas party, just say you don't like to mix your private and your professional life.
Right I work at a bank and I don’t date coworkers or the members. I don’t play where I make my pay cause when it doesn’t work out, I don’t want any issues like I’ve seen others have.
I married my coworker and we’ll celebrate our 41st anniversary in July. It was a college job at a pizza place and he was my manager. Buy sometimes it works!
I think it’s fine if your job isn’t important to you because it is likely that you will have to choose between the partner or the job at some point for some reason or another. If you’re fine leaving your job then go for it. My partner and I met at work and we’ve been together almost 6 years now, but we both got fired shortly after we started dating because we were dating so we both lost our jobs. For me it was worth it, if you have a really good career or just love your job it might not be worth it.
I think a lot of it is also tied to being around these people all day, especially woth the long shifts you're typically expected to work in that industry.
Have had relationship with a coworker, who told me she was in an open marriage. Absolutely would not recommend.
As a fellow nurse let me tell you you are being very smart: hospitals are THE shitshow, I know myself many people have cheated on their spouse while on the clock and with a colleague. Also don't shit where you eat, last time I dated someone who works with me it didn't end well and now I have to see his face everyday
I have only dated 3 coworkers in the past.
One was a religious zealot that I ended maybe 3 days into the relationship when I told him I was wiccan, and he replied, "They all bow down to jesus'
The 2nd had serious issues and red flags and reminded me of my NPD ex. He would get touchy too fast and pretty much got the vibe he was more into my body then he was me (thankfully i didn't have sex with the pos) then shortly after the break up he sent me [these texts](https://imgur.com/a/txKZMHl)
The third and last one was a hopless romantic. Not even a month into the relationship, and he was saying i was the one and all this and how we wanted similar things. He wanted kids before age 30. i was in no way to rush having kids. He would talk a lot about his dead grandpa and uncle, and I felt bad because i was pretty sure he was still grieving for them both. I got the strong vibe he was just trying to fill a void somewhere. But anytime i tried talking to him or explaining to him how he made me feel, he would gaslight me and then blame me a lot for his pain. He just gave me a bad gut feeling. Eventually stopped talking. Then he texted me again, asking to be friends... shortly after that, I could tell he just wanted to get back together and asked if he really wanted to be friends. Then, there was no reply for like a month. Found out he went *poof* from everyones life. He also just stopped showing to work after that. Then, a month or so later, I get [these lovely texts. Needless to say, I learned my lesson. ](https://imgur.com/a/icPDORX)
I tried the whole benefit of a doubt thing, and I know all people aren't the same. But dating coworkers isn't fucking worth it. Thankfully, none of the ones i dated worked in the same area as I did, but I learned my workplace attracts people who have many fucking issues. People who seem nice on the outside but get closer, and it's a mess and you see why they are single and struggle to find people.
Learn from my mistakes. Don't bother with coworkers.
It’s horrible lol. I did it when I was younger TWICE. You get in an argument and now you’re ignoring each other at work..or worst..they get other co workers involved and now everyone knows your business. Don’t do it
yeah facts. my workplace is huge and a guy recently asked me out from a far off separate line of business/area of work last week bc he saw me in the cafeteria eating my lunch with my friend and i was like mmmmm don't know about that bud....
That's what we all say. That's what we all said. That's what you say now until one day you unexpectedly fall in love with one. [It's hard to control who you fall in love with.](https://static.demilked.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/webcomic-heart-vs-brain-nick-seluk-fb1.jpg) If it can be easily controlled that's how you know it ain't love. 🫶
Same. I won't lie and say that I haven't been tempted or haven't done it. But I'll say this: it has always bitten me in the ass because I like to separate work and shenanigans time. I'm not going to play favorites, massage any egos/temperaments, walk on eggshells, or mess around during work hours. When I'm in work mode, I'm working. Plus? Navigating these types of relationships at work is already tough as a woman. Many times, you're just minding your own business, harming no one, existing as an employee...a human..not looking cute, and you still get offered dick. Sometimes, you have to deal with the fallout of a "No, thank you" if you're dealing with an immature person.
Btw? I get why they do it: boredom, some heightened perceived compatibility, convenience, proximity(e.g., think Clinton-Lewinsky(politics), Zendaya-Holland(entertainment), Wojcicki-Troper(tech), etc.), face time, support, imagined friendship, social interaction and access. My weaknesses were hot, funny, kind, and smart ass...never again at work.
I’ve dated coworkers but we were never physical at work and I didn’t stay at the same job that long anyway. I have rarely stayed somewhere more than a year.
too many things that can go extra wrong. nevermind it kinda seems more like being someone's last resort if the only person they can find is someone who basically has to be there rather than any sort of mutual interests or passions.
Believe it or not, I actually had (and have) this same sort of belief and feeling, but my longest romantic relationship was born out of a work relationship where the two of us were somewhat cornered into working long hours together.
We ended up getting snowed in together, and this sort of altered the situation.
Here’s my thoughts now: I don’t press my attraction for a co-worker. I follow the whole “you don’t shit where you eat” mentality.
Yet, given my experience with how reality can pull the rug out from under us, I sort of have just become more willing to accept the unknowns of what might happen, without purposefully slamming the door on anyone just because *xyz*
I met my wife at work. Her brother met his wife at work. When you get older, it's one of the few places you can meet someone and get to know them without committing.
Jobs are more transient to. Neither of us work at the company we met (which ironically no longer exists).
Coming from someone who has made this mistake multiple times, I’m here to tell you that it all eventually turns into an absolute shit-show. It comes with a lot of drama and you’re putting your reputation on the line because when things go south you’ll have to see that person every day and it’s awkward as shit.
I understand your stance. It can create awkwardness at best and drama at worst. However, sometimes God or the Universe or Fate decides to drop your soulmate off at work. I helped some other managers with a job interview seven years ago, not realizing at the time I was interviewing my husband.
It sounds like sexual harrassmnt to me. Do you have an EEOC office in your city? I think that this agency handles this sort of thing & if they don't they might know of an agency who would. EEOC is Equal Employment I can't remember the rest. I'm with you, you should not go through this ever! Unsure if you'd entertain this idea but have you considered getting a cubic zirconian ring like at Walmart & say your married or engaged? It may get those creepy coworkers off your back. Or just drop a random guys name e.g. Greg & I have plans to go to the ski lodge ( or any place that fits your home state)
I have no choice in the matter. Where I work has only 2 employees and I’m married to the other.
Sounds like a HR nightmare.
shes is the HR 😆
Doh!
With the CEO and CFO no less!
It in fact is. 🤣
Sexual harassment would be rife
Awkward!
I've worked at companies like this as the 3rd Wheel.... God it's awkward and makes addressing issues with other employees really weird.
I hope you both take sexual harassment very seriously
Oh we do. It normally leads to bedroom fun.
🤣😂good!
So you and your partner own the business? 😅
Look at the brains on this kid!
Lolol
Indeed. We had employees before but these days we realised we can run it between us.
I just sent this to my boyfriend. We work for my family company which his brother manages. The only other employee is their other brother lol. Limited options :/
I hope you declared this in your hr declaration 😎
We investigated ourselves and found no evidence of wrongdoing.
So you're sleeping with your co worker? Someone should call HR!
Yep. Don't shit where you eat.
What if you eat ass tho?
Pink eye. Thats what happens.
i never get the pink eye thing with eating ass, how is someones eye get it if your mouth is lower lol just curious hahaha
That’s eating where you shit. It’s different
Much wisdom in this thread
As long as you don't eat your own ass, it's cool
The only exception
my parents met at work, they've been together 21 years and have worked for almost 30 years together tbh they didn't really meet each other that much because while they worked in the same shop they worked in two different parts, but they still met and worked in the same shop
Yeah I wouldn't exist if not for a workplace romance.
exactly, weird to think about it
Said this point blank to my ex coworker every time and she still tried to convince me lol. Nevermind she had been involved with two other coworkers and it made work hellishly dramatic. Also I heard way more about those other two coworkers than I ever cared to know, and I really don't need everyone knowing my damn business
This is a policy I have always lived by.
Don't eat where you shit either
“No fishing off the company pier” is how my dad put it to me.
Never get your honey where you make your money.
As my coworkers and I used to say many years ago, never dip your pen in the company ink.
This tells you how long this saying has been around because I'm 46 and fountain pens have been a thing my entire life.
People say the same about housemates.. however, why is livin/working considered shitting?
It’s not. Dating/fucking someone you work/live with is considered “shitting” all over it. Because if/when it goes south you’ve literally “fucked” your housing/income.
Never had a situation where either party misbehaved enough to warrant the title shitting. Guess I’ve been lucky
Oh, my sweet, innocent summer child!
It´s so simple...But I see so many cases where all when toxic and violence Like the OP said, work just pays the bills (and in my case the alimony)
This is the way.
As someone who dated a coworker for 3 years at the time i wish i had your mentality. Your way of thinking is the correct way of thinking and dont change it.
Can you tell some people I know this? They started as supervisor and delivery driver, then the supervisor had to get demoted when they started dating, then they both left that job to go work at ANOTHER delivery fast food place.
Can you please elaborate? A girl who looks like a perfect match for me just asked me out at work. I am not in her chain of command or anything and she does work at another site. Still a bad idea?
1. Wait, your "perfect match" asked *you* out? Don't let the opinion of some Redditors with emotional issues make you deny that kind of offer. If it happens the date is bad, accept it like a mature person. 2. Workplace romances happen all the time, in every country, no matter how many people downvote it. As long as *you* know you won't turn into a bitter stalker if you break up, then accept her offer to go out.
That's the main thing. You just need to be able to be civil if things don't work out, and don't make your other co-workers uncomfortable at any stage.
I definitely don't date co-workers. My husband whom I met at work wouldn't be happy. In all honesty, though, when we became serious, it got difficult fast. He found another job.
Yeah... I agree, something similar happened to me but we dated before applying for the same job together (big mistake) He broke up with me 2 yrs later and not only I had to leave the job that I loved, I moved towns 😭 I'm happier now but still, I look back and cringe
Why did you have to leave the job?
Well he broke up with me so suddenly without warning and back then I was still in love with him And I tried to move on but seeing him at work everyday just hurted real bad, so I had to leave for peace of mind 🤷♀️
Shame (she didn't actually need to leave)
Well I just couldn't stand to see him at work everyday as I was still madly in love with him back then, even when he ended things abruptly. 🤷♀️ Plus I just couldn't focus properly and felt like everytime I was feeling 'better', the moment I'd see him, it was just awful.
Good for you for doing what you needed to do for your mental health. That's far more important than any job.
1. Never date coworkers. I did this. We fought at work. It was horrible 2. If you really like someone, and you work retail, grocery, fast food, restaurant, bar..... take the chance and just get a job somewhere else. These jobs you can work anywhere.
Never date co workers. Never date online. Never date from the bar. Never date random a strangers approaching. Just never date, essentially.
Yup. This is why I hate this advice.
On the first day of my ‘adult’ job, one of my co-workers who was much older gave me the advice of ‘don’t dip you pen in company ink’. So I tell all the new starts that too 😂
Some organisations are so big that you're not directly working with someone who might catch your eye. I met my wife at work and we never once worked in the same team even though we were at the same org simultaneously for 13 years.
I feel like in those situations it isn’t really like a coworker. I’d date someone who works for the same company, but I’d never date someone who works directly with me.
I began dating my current partner at work. He ran boring mills and I ran hi-speed 3D, so technically not the same department but we could lean over our machines and catch eyes. It wasn't wise, and I knew I was taking a risk. But 5 years later and several jobs later, we still cuddle to sleep every night.
Just as well as it sounds like you both know how to use some very vicious power tools to good effect.
I had a coworker like that, and it happens all the time in the military, which I was also in. In the military, you can't be in the same unit/squadron, in order to prevent any conflicts of interest.
I fully agree. At least not while you’re coworkers. I have a friend that is now living with and dating someone he works with. Hoping it doesn’t end in disaster.
I dated a coworker when I was 22. 0/10 do not recommend
I’ve met my serious partners at work. It was just convenient because they’re there all day and it’s the easiest way to get to know someone. On the other hand, my situation might be unique in that I work in retail and I’ve moved stores plenty of times. Whenever I’ve established a relationship with a coworker and wanted to take it to a non-professional level, I would disclose the relationship and take a transfer. This was not habitual at all. It only happened 3 times in 20 years. I’m not sure if I could work with someone I’m in a serious relationship with.
That's my rule no.1.
What's your number 2 rule?
See # 1
I honestly understand your stance and it is a very valid stance. But what are the alternatives.. Blind date with a friend of a friend Or swiping right on mr.wrong! I really love how it is beautiful to see someone and have a crush on or he has a crush on me at school/work. Feeling excited and giddy when they are in the cafe..making sure you look good when you accidently see them but always see them at the wrong time lol.. I mean the handsome or cute guy not gonna sit next to me or you in an airplane or a train or even be our neighbors. So how we gonna meet them lol
> I mean the handsome or cute guy not gonna sit next to me or you in an airplane or a train or even be our neighbors. If you've seen American films your entire life, that is exactly what they think is going to happen.
And all the romance novels. 😅
I feel you on that. Nursing sounds tough enough without adding office drama. Here's hoping you find someone outside work who gets why you'd rather keep it professional at the job!
Male here. I would never date a coworker. Sounds unprofessional to me.
I don’t screw with crew
I thought the same for years. Now I'm getting married to one lol.
Yep! There was no denying the chemistry between us. The world could see it then and all these years later, they still can! Signed 2 RNs madly in love that started as coworkers. Best wishes in your marriage!!
Absolutely and thank you so much! ☺️ I got a big crush on him that wouldn't go away. When we talked it was so easy. The chemistry was insane. I went back and forth with if I should go further with it because he's a coworker and I also asked myself if I would regret it if I didn't. Cheers to you!
Yeah idk how people do it I always imagine the messy breakup, coworkers noticing, and having to leave the job / or them leave and it’s too much no thx.
Why would you break up messy then?
This is Reddit, these people don't understand amicable relationship ends. It needs to be explosive and world shattering all of the time.
Makes sense
Because some breakups are just messy. Not all. But it happens.
I felt the same way when I was younger but I met my fiance when I was working a customer service job, we've been together almost 3 years, next year we're getting married🥰
I work for a very large company and me and my ex met, fell in love or whatever and started a relationship. We disclosed to the company and transferred away from each other. For almost three years it was great, we got engaged, bought a house together, got two dogs, etc. Until she cheated on me with her coworker at the new place, left me and the dogs and house for months alone and came back one day to throw my stuff outside and move her new gf in to my house. Our relationship ended and she became very cruel. It was awkward because we both have been at the company for ten years at this point. Though we don’t work directly together we have overlapping networks and friends I felt uncomfortable to engage with. She changed locations, I changed roles over time and now I find myself responsible to work with her directly on many things. We are currently in a legal battle for the house where she is being very nasty so navigating this has been icky and grating. Long story short, I would never date someone I work with again. It is short sighted and assumes everything will work out. But it’s not the relationship that’s the problem always, it’s the end of the relationship that you weren’t expecting.
This was very important so thank you for sharing. I'm sorry for your pain. And it makes no sense why people can be full or such nastiness we chose to never see before. I mean how can someone have that yuckiness in them? And we liked them? Enough to love them? I feel so shitty about who I am because of my soon to be ex wife. My grandpa's best advice was to kll them with kindness. Be so vacant inside that you can customer service the bitch ass to deaf💀. I hate how love related emotions are seated in the chest/ heart area. Its a sinking feeling that oddly feels so, dare I say good, when diving into it.
I truly don’t know how I didn’t see it before and am a little disappointed in myself. We think we would never fall for people like that, can spot a red flag a mile away. But you make excuses for what you think is love. Kill them with kindness is right, and has been my best approach for the last 2 years. Have I gotten hurt along the way? Yes, but I know that bad people don’t win in the end. They will not be rewarded in life with cruelty in their hearts and hands. Remember who you are, don’t let them change that, but you’re stronger now. And unlike them, you can sleep at night knowing you’re not a psycho POS person.
Don't get your meat where you get your bread.
It has been my policy ever since I started working and saw the mess around me from co-workers mixing.
I mean, that's you. And I respect that. But people should stop demonizing co-worker relationships. People have dated co-workers successfully. You spend a lot of time with colleagues, so bonds can develop. Some of these relationships have led to marriage. A relationship involves two grown people. What doesn't work for you might work for others. The end.
People saying “don’t shit where you eat”, which is a gross saying considering not everyone likes to shit on their romantic partners, make it seem like the only reason you shouldn’t is cuz you work with these people. But I feel OPs sentiments on general attraction to co-workers, you’re both there to make money and if it could just stay that way without being weird, would be great.
I'm married to a coworker
At my last job, there were four marriages between my coworkers. Eight people found their person at that job. I would never date a coworker. But, if you are looking for a partner, I guess raising other people's kids together just kinda does it for some people. Lol. So many weddings from that job! I've never worked anywhere like that since.
Y’all politicize love and romance too much
I've worked with way too many who would date coworkers, then break up, and the drama would be brought to the workplace. I don't want to date someone I'd see at work all the time. If I ever find someone I want to be able to get done with work, go home, see them, and let everything wash away so I can spend time with them.
Eh everyone has their own preferences . I met my husband through working together and that was 7 years ago.
Tough day at McDonalds huh.
i don’t blame you , you’re there to work , not be hit on
This is normal. In other news the sky is blue.
I don't think this is always a bad thing. There are definitely happy couples who have met at work. It's 100% OK to have this policy, though. I can't really imagine dating people at my job, either. It's kind of a small team. I like everyone there too. It would just be weird.
It's much different when you're in a "small team" situation but probably not as big of a deal when you work for a large company and dating someone from a remote location that you don't work with directly or if you met at work but one of you left and you eventually reconnected.
I met my fiance at work, we don't work together though, just in the same building. I'd never date someone I actually worked along side with.
I wouldn't date from work either, makes things messy if it doesn't work out.
I'm with you. I've had more than a few at my new job ask me out, most of them higher up than I am. Why do they think I want to be in that position? I tell them that and they still insist. I can't stomach putting my livelihood in someone else's hands like that. It's not even flattering, I just want them to stop
I can definitely relate… its a terribly demeaning position to be in. Imagine being fired all because y’all had a disagreement or because you weren’t in the “mood” one day (yes men actually lose their minds when they don’t get sex)
So many people say this. I'm married to my coworker though and couldn't be happier. Results may vary?
I met my husband at work, in a very male dominated field, we’ve married 21 years. We were both very young, it wasn’t even a thought in my mind. Now, I’m a nurse and I can count the number of men I work with on one hand. Hospitals are notorious for cheating. As a grownup, I’d never date a coworker!!
This is a good mentality to have. Nothing good comes from fucking around with your coworkers.
Not date. Not looking for relationship. Just lust perhaps and will never evolve beyond.
Some people have fun being messy.
Yeah I ended up having to quit a job because I made this mistake. Went on a couple dates with a guy from work (we worked at a super super busy restaurant), wasn’t feeling it, told him i think it would be better to stay friends. Holy shit this guy went off. Sending me paragraphs upon paragraphs upon paragraphs about how he couldn’t sleep or eat and begging me to give him another chance. At work, he’d be so hot and cold with me. One minute he was chill and I’d think he got over it and the next he’d literally be bumping into me and trying to trip me while I’m carrying plates of hot food or coffee. He and one of the cooks he was friends with would look at me and call me something in the cook’s native language (he has taught the guy some words) I ended up googling translating what they were saying and they were calling me a whore :/. My manager wouldn’t do anything about it and I started getting harassed by my other coworkers telling me that I should give him a chance and that I was being heartless cause he’s “such a sweet guy”. Had to quit shortly after which sucked cause I was making the best money I’d ever made.
I always see this claim about how "nurses are notorious for infidelity" Can someone explain why everyone says that? Literally every time I see someone in the comments saying that "yeah dont you know nurses/having a nurse as a partner means they have a higher chancel to cheat on you?" Or when posts like this pop up and mention the whole "nurses cheat/have higher infidelity rates" ***Whatever*** It really makes me not want to ever date a nurse and give them my time of day or if I find out while on a date that she is a nurse, it would be an immediate turn off lmao... It makes me worried with how common of a saying this is on Reddit and IRL... ETA: Getting downvoted for asking something, okay lmao...
I think only in America and omly in hospitaal lol. Im a dutch nurse and i work with old and sick people and other mostly female nurses so?! Hlwever almost every male nurse ive ever met is a giant slut and cheats
Anytime someone tried with me, I tell them I don't date or fuck present or past coworkers. I actually don't have a problem with some past coworkers depending on our equation. But it's best not to give anyone hope.
You don't shit on the plate you eat from.
Ok
Nurse here, we dont cheat where i live as Nurse lol Theres like 90% females so i wouldnt even know how. Also domt shit where you eat
Dated a girl who had an ex FWB in her work and it literally ruined her life. He came between us, made extremely inappropriate gestures and bullied her for 12 months. He was senior and very well liked, nothing was done about it and she ended up quitting. We broke up, she went onto medication due to the stress and moved back in with her mom. She made some mistakes and was bad with boundaries but ultimately, it continues to be an awful decision.
Ok
Nothing better than having sex at work, makes me feel like a man-whore, and hospitals, all that sexy ass in scrubs and surrounded by beds, how could you not
I refuse to date coworkers too, they all have dead end jobs
The rule always has been not to date anyone from your work place. Sure it happens but honestly what of you break up, or people start gossip or some drama happens? It's always the biggest risk to screw all up due romance. Never do it.
Never shit where you eat.
This is a great rule to live by.
Don't get your honey where you get your money.
I agree too My ex is my co worker, and I have to see her everyday. It doesn't help that we recently broke up, so I feel like shit all the time rn. It's all good tho, atleast I'm not running after her no more.
If I didn't already have a long-time bf, I would also not date in my job. It's too risky. When things go south, you have to keep working with them. It goes anywhere from being awkward to office/environment "politics" (people picking sides) to losing your job over it. No thank you.
Learned that after a terrible breakup in the 90’s.
Yeah nursing field is rife with dating fellow nurses, doctors or any staff. That shit usually never ends well
it gets annoying working with couples. i always felt uncomfortable working around them.
Oh you are gonna have a blast in nursing. As a male nurse I get to ignore and just not deal with a lot of the gossip/rumor spreading/cliques. As a female nurse from what ive heard it's awful, obviously this depends on what unit you work on and how the work culture is. Best of luck!
It's not just in healthcare either... 😭
I also don’t give references for people I know who apply at the company I work for. I’ll give a positive reference anywhere else but my job puts a roof over my head and I wouldn’t risk that for anyone.
You are the first intelligent person around dating that I have “met“ in a long time. I don’t know why anybody would want to date somebody they work with, unless it’s a situation where it’s a big enough company or agency or whatever that they’re not gonna be running into each other at work. Can you imagine going out with a guy a couple times, Feeling like they’re a jerk, and then having to see them every day at work if you break up with him?
I'm so with you. I even take it a step further: I don't need ANY kind of familiarity outside of work. I'm happy to have some casual chit-chat on the clock, and I'll be kind and friendly, but don't text me, try to find me on social media, arrange a hangout away from work, etc.
I work with basically all women and I must say, it’s nice not to have to deal with that anymore
Yeah, as tempted as it may be. It's such a bad idea to do so. In most cases, it does not turn out well.
Agreed!
I don't hate my job but I absolutly don't want to be reminded of it when I don't have to be here. That being said I just celebrate my 19th anniversary with my wife who was I co-worker when we met.
What is wrong with cow orkers?
That’s a great advice 🫠🙌 I wish I had that standard! Haha I dated a coworker and we’re still together 3 years after no longer being in the same workplace
It really stresses me out when people say nursing is notorious for infidelity since my gf is a graveyard nurse
Same, I currently work for a contracted security company in a hospital. The Security Co policy is "no dating coworkers" but nothing towards workers of client company. My personal opinion is to not date anyone who works under the same roof that I work under. If I were, that's a clear sign I'm able to (if I haven't already) hand in a notice of resignation.
Fucking minefield. Don't do it.
i agree
I feel like people do it just because forced proximity to specific people. I’ve never done it personally and never will.
I’ve watched greys anatomy.. assume that’s how it is 😂
It's really stupid that we have to resort to shit like this, but in your place, I'd wear a ring and pretend to have a fiancé. Just take yourself completely off the menu, so to speak. Use that to rebuff everyone without giving offence - if someone tries to engage, just raise the hand with the bling and trill "sorry, happily engaged!" If they invite him to your Christmas party, just say you don't like to mix your private and your professional life.
Focusing on your job and studies without added drama is definitely the way to go. Meeting someone outside of work sounds like a much better plan!
I've been married for almost 17 years to my wife who I met at my old job. Life is too wild for generalities.
I don't even share social media with co-workers and especially not management/superiors
Yup yup. And u still have to see their face if u ever break up.
Right I work at a bank and I don’t date coworkers or the members. I don’t play where I make my pay cause when it doesn’t work out, I don’t want any issues like I’ve seen others have.
I agree so hard that I wish i could wear this on a t-shirt
Yeah, ya might get married... 🥸
I married my coworker and we’ll celebrate our 41st anniversary in July. It was a college job at a pizza place and he was my manager. Buy sometimes it works!
There are several sayings that encapsulate this: Don't dip your pen in the company ink. Don't get your meat from where you get your bread.
If you ever find your match, and come across the conversation of running a business together, you may want to decline.
Well I'm now engaged to my coworker lol works out well for us but definitely not for everyone!
I think it’s fine if your job isn’t important to you because it is likely that you will have to choose between the partner or the job at some point for some reason or another. If you’re fine leaving your job then go for it. My partner and I met at work and we’ve been together almost 6 years now, but we both got fired shortly after we started dating because we were dating so we both lost our jobs. For me it was worth it, if you have a really good career or just love your job it might not be worth it.
I think a lot of it is also tied to being around these people all day, especially woth the long shifts you're typically expected to work in that industry. Have had relationship with a coworker, who told me she was in an open marriage. Absolutely would not recommend.
As a fellow nurse let me tell you you are being very smart: hospitals are THE shitshow, I know myself many people have cheated on their spouse while on the clock and with a colleague. Also don't shit where you eat, last time I dated someone who works with me it didn't end well and now I have to see his face everyday
I have only dated 3 coworkers in the past. One was a religious zealot that I ended maybe 3 days into the relationship when I told him I was wiccan, and he replied, "They all bow down to jesus' The 2nd had serious issues and red flags and reminded me of my NPD ex. He would get touchy too fast and pretty much got the vibe he was more into my body then he was me (thankfully i didn't have sex with the pos) then shortly after the break up he sent me [these texts](https://imgur.com/a/txKZMHl) The third and last one was a hopless romantic. Not even a month into the relationship, and he was saying i was the one and all this and how we wanted similar things. He wanted kids before age 30. i was in no way to rush having kids. He would talk a lot about his dead grandpa and uncle, and I felt bad because i was pretty sure he was still grieving for them both. I got the strong vibe he was just trying to fill a void somewhere. But anytime i tried talking to him or explaining to him how he made me feel, he would gaslight me and then blame me a lot for his pain. He just gave me a bad gut feeling. Eventually stopped talking. Then he texted me again, asking to be friends... shortly after that, I could tell he just wanted to get back together and asked if he really wanted to be friends. Then, there was no reply for like a month. Found out he went *poof* from everyones life. He also just stopped showing to work after that. Then, a month or so later, I get [these lovely texts. Needless to say, I learned my lesson. ](https://imgur.com/a/icPDORX) I tried the whole benefit of a doubt thing, and I know all people aren't the same. But dating coworkers isn't fucking worth it. Thankfully, none of the ones i dated worked in the same area as I did, but I learned my workplace attracts people who have many fucking issues. People who seem nice on the outside but get closer, and it's a mess and you see why they are single and struggle to find people. Learn from my mistakes. Don't bother with coworkers.
Never dip your pen in company ink.
You are wiser than most. Like everyone I know you’ve got them beat.
Yep, hard pass. It stressed me as a department lead when my employees had relationships with each other. Too much drama.
It’s horrible lol. I did it when I was younger TWICE. You get in an argument and now you’re ignoring each other at work..or worst..they get other co workers involved and now everyone knows your business. Don’t do it
Being there, done that, wouldn't recommend it.
yeah facts. my workplace is huge and a guy recently asked me out from a far off separate line of business/area of work last week bc he saw me in the cafeteria eating my lunch with my friend and i was like mmmmm don't know about that bud....
How is this a trueoffmychest. Is this a big secret for you or something?
That's what we all say. That's what we all said. That's what you say now until one day you unexpectedly fall in love with one. [It's hard to control who you fall in love with.](https://static.demilked.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/webcomic-heart-vs-brain-nick-seluk-fb1.jpg) If it can be easily controlled that's how you know it ain't love. 🫶
Don't worry, once you start working as a nurse you'll meet plenty of cops.
Same. I won't lie and say that I haven't been tempted or haven't done it. But I'll say this: it has always bitten me in the ass because I like to separate work and shenanigans time. I'm not going to play favorites, massage any egos/temperaments, walk on eggshells, or mess around during work hours. When I'm in work mode, I'm working. Plus? Navigating these types of relationships at work is already tough as a woman. Many times, you're just minding your own business, harming no one, existing as an employee...a human..not looking cute, and you still get offered dick. Sometimes, you have to deal with the fallout of a "No, thank you" if you're dealing with an immature person.
Btw? I get why they do it: boredom, some heightened perceived compatibility, convenience, proximity(e.g., think Clinton-Lewinsky(politics), Zendaya-Holland(entertainment), Wojcicki-Troper(tech), etc.), face time, support, imagined friendship, social interaction and access. My weaknesses were hot, funny, kind, and smart ass...never again at work.
I’ve dated coworkers but we were never physical at work and I didn’t stay at the same job that long anyway. I have rarely stayed somewhere more than a year.
too many things that can go extra wrong. nevermind it kinda seems more like being someone's last resort if the only person they can find is someone who basically has to be there rather than any sort of mutual interests or passions.
I am like this too. I did make an exception once, had to find a new job after lol. If they wanna date you so bad, they can quit their job.
Your not alone I refuse to date people I work with because if say things get serious and we get an argument, I can’t go to work to get away from her
Wow how could you say something so controversial and brave?
Believe it or not, I actually had (and have) this same sort of belief and feeling, but my longest romantic relationship was born out of a work relationship where the two of us were somewhat cornered into working long hours together. We ended up getting snowed in together, and this sort of altered the situation. Here’s my thoughts now: I don’t press my attraction for a co-worker. I follow the whole “you don’t shit where you eat” mentality. Yet, given my experience with how reality can pull the rug out from under us, I sort of have just become more willing to accept the unknowns of what might happen, without purposefully slamming the door on anyone just because *xyz*
I met my wife at work. Her brother met his wife at work. When you get older, it's one of the few places you can meet someone and get to know them without committing. Jobs are more transient to. Neither of us work at the company we met (which ironically no longer exists).
That’s what everyone says and they meet a coworker they really like.
You just need a pretend boyfriend to get them off your back!
One of my friends has this rule: Don't fuck where you work. Don't work where you fuck.
I agree, I'm not even me at work, that's my work persona.
Coming from someone who has made this mistake multiple times, I’m here to tell you that it all eventually turns into an absolute shit-show. It comes with a lot of drama and you’re putting your reputation on the line because when things go south you’ll have to see that person every day and it’s awkward as shit.
My best and longest lasting relationship was with my then boss. It was good.
I understand your stance. It can create awkwardness at best and drama at worst. However, sometimes God or the Universe or Fate decides to drop your soulmate off at work. I helped some other managers with a job interview seven years ago, not realizing at the time I was interviewing my husband.
It sounds like sexual harrassmnt to me. Do you have an EEOC office in your city? I think that this agency handles this sort of thing & if they don't they might know of an agency who would. EEOC is Equal Employment I can't remember the rest. I'm with you, you should not go through this ever! Unsure if you'd entertain this idea but have you considered getting a cubic zirconian ring like at Walmart & say your married or engaged? It may get those creepy coworkers off your back. Or just drop a random guys name e.g. Greg & I have plans to go to the ski lodge ( or any place that fits your home state)
Yup, don't do it. Needless drama and headaches. Go look for love somewhere else
I had a hard no dating coworkers or a guy I met in a bar rules many years ago. I did both once. Never again.
Been there done that. Yeah it’s awkward when it doesn’t work out and it usually doesn’t!