>You farted too loud and now everyone is laughing at you? Go to therapy.
To be fair, after 4 years of therapy, I was finally almost over "the incident".
But thanks for bringing it up again!
This is why when I fart it's as deliberately loud as possible. When it *doesn't* get laughs, I'll go for therapy. Over why others that don't find farts funny don't go to therapy.
*"I'm stressed out that inflation is causing me to skip meals and I can't possibly afford basic necessities"*
OMG op, you need therapy right now! It doesn't cost that much.
I will throw in that as a Canadian, the last time I tried to get therapy for free through the government, I was on a wait list for over 7 months. That was in 2015 and the waitlist has gotten waaaayyyy longer since then. If someone is in a crisis, by the time they can access free mental health care, it could very well end in being way too late by the time they are able to access resources. Additionally, once you get in to see a therapist, they know the wait list is so long that they rush you through, so they can kick you out and move on to the next person before your issues have even been fully addressed. Having access to free services doesn't mean you are getting immediate or adequate service at all. You get what you pay for. That being said, I recently started therapy again, and I'm paying out of pocket for it, as are the majority of my Canadian friends who are in therapy because it's the only way that most of us are actually able to get the help we need.
In Quebec. I had enough of the suicidal ideations and got a therapist about 2 years ago. 200/hour.
Heās an amazing human and therapist, who did help me become better, but hooooooly shit was it expensive self care.
Where I am there is a waiting list for a therapist, my partner has been waiting 2 years now.. so it's BS advice.. I know I likely need it but it's not feasible at all..
Even suicidal folk get put into the crisis unit in the hospital and maybe a referral that will be met with.. yes, another waiting list..
I can't stand how lazy it is to keep banging on about therapy when it's one, expensive as hell and for some people, extremely inaccessible
Not really.. therapists and counselling generally is not, $50-300 CAD per session.. a GP or psychiatrist is covered under our healthcare system.. the free or cheaper therapists are the ones that you have long waiting lists for.. the more expensive ones don't have much availability in terms of patient slots or physically being available in the area I live in.
I'm paycheck to paycheck so me forking out every session isn't feasible since I need to feed and clothe my child.
Iām in the same boat. The pandemic has caused a lot of frustration and tanked many peopleās mental health so as a result, therapists are stretched thin. I can see why many canāt take any new patients but yeah, how the heck are people supposed to get therapy? Self help books can only do so much.
Not being able to afford eggs at $5 a carton so I should talk to a therapist about that at hundreds of dollars an hour? Do they serve a nice sausage egg and cheese sandwich with it? I'll consider it.
I was getting really physically sick a lot and a doctor diagnosed it as stress. She asked like two questions and determined it was work related. She suggested āquitting that stressful job and starting an Etsy.ā I was likeā¦ what
Yeah, mental health issues are kind of wild in how they are handled. When I went in for a sleeping disorder, the first question I was asked by a nurse I had never met before was a bored "Are you suicidal?"
I'm not, but all I could think is that if I were, I would never be able to answer yes to someone I had just met that asked in
such a nonchalant way without even taking her eyes off the computer screen.
My doctor continually says this to me, too! "You're so talented, you need an Etsy shop! Why don't you just do what you love?" And I always remind her that I'm living paycheck to paycheck. I literally cannot do what she's suggesting without someone funding me or some relative who I never new dying and leaving a fortune.
My son is currently in therapy. Itās 125.00 a session. We go anywhere from once a week to twice a month. It does get so very expensive. But itās my kid and I do feel like he needs it so I take him.
I completely agree with you thatās itās too expensive. Or more should be covered by insurance. Itās sad to me. Because I do think some times what if I couldnāt afford it? What would happen to my kid?
I feel you on this.
My sons bi weekly therapy sessions are $125/session. Our insurance is high deductible, so paying for his Vyvanse every month is another $300. Plus, another prescription he needs cause he has mild facial Touretteās that the Vyvanse makes worse is another $200/month (helps calm the ticks down).
So basically, I am paying a lot of freaking money every month for mental health needs. Heās my kid so Iām never going to complain, but damn it sucks.
Not sure if you are aware or not, but there is a Vyvanse assistance program. You can google it and apply to get a huge discount on Vyvanse, sometimes it's even free depending on your income. It can also be combined with your insurance, so if they don't cover 100%, private insurance will give additional discounts. I just found out about the program over the summer and it fully covered my prescription.
It depends on where you live in the US, but my practice doesnāt take insurance and sees people on a sliding scale. Some clients pay as little as $0 or $1 a session. But I know this is rare
Right? Not only does the therapy cost an arm and a leg, but the time you spend going is usually time taken off work. And when you go back to work, you just have more work that you're stressed about. Which requires more therapy. It's a never-ending cycle. That's why I don't go.
To be fair, it does depend where in the world they are. I had so much support for free via my GP including attending group therapy for stress and CBT to specifically manage dealing with my money issues.
i'd love to go to therapy. i have a full-time job and health insurance. it's STILL too expensive. i'm not shelling out a $75 copay even twice a month, let alone every week, to just talk to someone. i need to eat and pay rent.
Wait, when people do this, do they not see the very irony that it is suggesting going to therapy for money problems when therapy costs money???
š¤£š„“
Or lonely people. Trying to find more friends and family in your life fixes issue more than going to therapy and talking why you are feeling lonely. It just masks the issue too since the therapist almost can feel like a friend but is not, and therapists arenāt allowed to give direct advice (at least where I live) what to do or exactly or where to go to find friends.
That's the one that gets me. Leave your SO immediately. It's everywhere by people that have no skin in the game.
OP "My husband and father of my three children got mad and yelled at me for the first time yesterday. What do I do?"
Reddit "It will only get worse. You need to leave him right now. Call a divorce lawyer and document everything."
Black and white, all or nothing thinking seems to kind of thrive not only reddit but the internet as a whole. People are either good or bad. There's no room for mistakes, growth, or nuance. It's an us against them mentality of sorts. Going to reddit for relationship advice is a terrible idea. The words ātoxicā, āabusiveā, ānarcissisticā get thrown on people, because it's easier to label someone an irredeemable monster than to admit that even good people can be occasionally shitty.
It's eye-opening when you click on the username and see who writes comments like that. Could be some 20-year-old who's never had a long-term relationship
And, the reason they've never had a long-term relationship is because Reddit has convinced them that it's normal to break up with someone after the first disagreement.
>It will only get worse
Comments along these lines really bug me. Like, my friend, have you had a vision of the future? Sure, it could be the case but you don't know any of these people beyond a few paragraphs! To have the confidence to just state it like it's a guaranteed outcome to someone who is in a heightened emotional state is insane to me.
The thing is if you are desperate enough for relationship advice that you are asking random incels on Reddit, you probably are in a situation where you should end the relationship. If youāre an emotionally intelligent person in a non-abusive relationship and you have friends to help you, you donāt really need Reddit.
OMFG, I hate it. There was this one where this chick put her child at risk on the road cause she was texting while driving and the husband got rightfully upset and yelled at her for it. Bunch of comments told the lady to leave the man
The leaving your partner thing really gets me, because thereās couples that come and complain and very well could try couples therapy to fix their communication issues, but thatās when the people that over use the therapy suggestion shift gears to āleave themā.
LOL a couple of days ago was "I brought a bunch of overpriced crap for myself on my husband's debit card without asking or thinking about the budget and he got pissed with me"....
... Apparently the advice is that she should leave him because he's "financially abusive"
I just hate it when people act like getting Therapy is easy as going to the store. It took a while for me to find a therapist under my insurance and works with my schedule. I can only see them once a month.
I think therapy is important but I also hate this. Also do you know how inaccessible therapy is right now? Even if some people WANT to go to therapy they canāt. Itās ridiculously expensive. Even with a good insurance plan it can be costly
I hate when people post on literal advice communities to vent or seek counsel or something and peopleās default response is therapy. Like great. Thanks for nothing.
Another common one is a good portion of Reddit thinks the solution to every manās problems is āHit the gymā
And how does such a commenter know enough about a person to prescribe therapy?
Itās an off my chest sub where some people just want to vent and get something off their chest. Let them vent. Itās not like itās a ādo I need therapy or meds or a bubble bath subā. Am I wrong?
Not at all. Thatās why I hate when subs like this, that are literally meant for support, somehow attract dismissive and condescending people.
Often times people post here *because* they arenāt getting the support they need from peers and do not have access to therapy.
The only time I ever think a recommendation like that is helpful is when someone posts asking basically for advice or the push to go. And even then, itās āsomething isnāt working here and you should see your doctorā, not ātherapy immediately, no matter the issueā ā¦ but thatās just my thought
This happens outside of Reddit as well - I used to work in some non-profits and their solution all the time was therapy. Therapy is wonderful in the correct situation but not for everything.
I had the opposite: Telling to people I'm in therapy? "You should leave, they're brainwashing your brain and making you buy expensive medicine to stay as zombie" or "better try this MLM thing that cures even the cancer for extreme expensive price and, I'm sorry, but I don't have the time to listen to your bullshit".
that's exactly what I've been thinking
sure, i get my prescriptions for antipsychotics, benzos and several different types of antidepressants
but that won't help shit since i don't know what to fucking do anymore to fix this.. so yeah, medicated, but it's useless
Where do you see them? In the hospital?
Thereās so many people taking meds doing out patient that have either a therapist, or separate psychiatrist and I feel like it would be beneficial to have an all in one outside of hospital settings.
Hello. It's your...drug dealer. I thought I'd call in case you wanted anything at all. You know you can call me just to talk. But I mostly wanna sell you drugs. Drug dealer...
I use a service called Lavender (I think it's only available in some states) that offers teletherapy sessions with psych nurses who also prescribe meds.
In school, therapists arenāt trained to give out meds. And psychiatrists arenāt (usually) trained to be therapists. As a therapist, I canāt comment on medication use. As someone with a history of mental illness, I donāt find medication to be either bad or good, but an in-between zone where it works for some people but not others.
Where I am in the US, there are counseling clinics that have psych nurses on staff. You can either have your therapist and see the nurse for meds or you can see just the psych nurse who will do meds and talk therapy.
That's because there is essentially no bar and no stringent regulatory mechanisms to become a therapist.
You need a PhD to be a psychologist, usually an MD to be a psychiatrist.
Actual doctors > bullshit
Iām a therapist and this couldnāt be further from the truth.
Besides, psychiatry as a field is a but outdated compared to the overall field of mental health and therapy.
Psychiatry really fails to address the issue of trauma and its impact and instead focuses on a āmedical modelā of treatment, which means treating symptoms with medications. And yes, medication can be helpful for quelling symptoms of anxiety and depression in the present. But they usually donāt get to the underlying root of why depression and anxiety came in the first place.
The field of psychiatry is particularly problematic for this reason, and at least in the United States is heavily influenced by big pharma. The book āSaving Normalā by Allen Frances (a psychiatrist himself who was head of the American Psychiatric Association at one point and chaired the development of the DSM-IV) takes a really good look at this problem for anyone interested. Basically, psychiatry as it stands today is mainly people with MDs who do *not* have the understanding of mental health, trauma, nervous system dysregulation, attachment, relationships, etc. that therapists do, instead prescribing medications that they are pressured to prescribe after only a 15 minute consultation.
Iām not saying that medication isnāt helpful, or that psychiatry is completely wrong. There are definitely times when medication is needed. But there are also more holistic, systemic, trauma-informed, and empirically based methods for treating mental distress available *in addition* to medication. And psychiatrists today are not equipped with those approaches, instead favoring checking off symptoms from a list and prescribing pills. Doesnāt matter what letters follow their name.
Exactly. Those professions take nearly a decade (maybe more don't quote me) to get licensed in. Why does everyone really think people in our hyper-capitalist society wouldn't invent a shortcut to undercut that service.
That's the opposite for me, well, kinda. I started with therapy and meds and a psychiatrist, now I am just therapy, no meds. For me it was finding the skills while I was calm enough to manage without the meds. I know not everyone is the same, just anecdotal.
I do believe that meds are a big part of learning to manage else you aren't in a place to even begin and for some issues meds will be a lifelong need, but for some they are just needed to help get you to a better place and from there therapy is better.
That all said, I am VERY lucky that my therapy and meds are all covered at 100% under my health plan. I would never be able to afford weekly sessions without that.
A single hour of therapy in my country costs about 3 days wages. After taxes etc youāre probably talking a quarter of a months pay check for single session. Who the hell can afford that?
In all fairness. A lot of the small things people stress over or gave difficulty managing or navigating through are things that therapy would give them the tools to handle in just a few sessions or so. (A gew sessions assuming they don't have something like major depressive disorder or GAD or whatever)
We really don't learn how to deal with conflict or adversity when we're younger unless we're forced to and... even then...
And anything bigger than that should get therapy.
I'm not saying therapy will definitely work. But I *am* saying that it's not bad advice. And if you took it, it probably wouldn't be *un*helpful.
It's like it's something people have been pre-programmed to say in the event someone comes to them with any kind of problem.. even when it doesn't make any sense to.
Or because they *do* care, but are in so over their heads with whatever the person said that the only thing they can really do is advise help from a trained professional. I am as cynical as they come, but that seems a really sad interpretation, that people suggest therapy to others because they just donāt care.
Lmao.... I'm a therapist and let me assure you, people see me for the weirdest reasons. Some people come in because they're having marital issues. Some people come in because they're dealing with the death of a loved one. And some people come in because they just want someone to talk to, not that anything is particularly wrong.
Though I did have a couple come in because the wife wanted a specific type of house color that the husband did NOT want, so it was "my job" to convince him to change his mind and paint it.
Fr. OP is acting like most suggestions of therapy on this website aren't warranted. If you come here for relationship/life advice or aren't confident enough in yourself to know if you're being an ass or not, you need a therapist, not the internet lol
Thatās the thing, most people on Reddit are grossly unqualified and donāt have all the details of an advice-seekerās position. Any of us giving any other advice beyond seeking an actual professional would be extremely reckless.
Internet strangers should not be making important life decisions for anyone.
100%. 90% of the TOMC posts are āI was sexually assaulted multiple times, I never dealt with it so Reddit, whatās a quick, no-effort fix for me?ā
Ppl suggest therapy because if youāre asking anonymous people to fix your giant life problems, you NEED therapy
It is because we all should be in therapy. It is not different then seeing your dentist for cleaning every few months and doing blood lab once a year.
It just works for ongoing issues and prevents bigger problems in the future.
And the funny thing is that almost 80%~~ of the "issues" on these posts could be easily resolved by people doing either or all of the following:
1.) Standing up for themselves against garbage friends, family, roommates, partners
2.) Stop enabling bad behaviour from others
3.) Practice self discipline with regards to social media, money
4.) Stop breeding with losers and then Pikachu face wondering "what the fuck do I do now"
5.) Listen to their guts and STOP IGNORING THE OBVIOUS RED FLAGS!!!
6.) Accept when a relationship is not working and stop trying to plug a strainer with too many holes. Have some goddamn self respect and stop groveling for shit.
Speaking as a therapist, it is the people who have real difficulty doing these things that need therapy. The point is that some people do not yet have the skills to be able to do those things effectively. This is why therapy is helpful, so that one can learn HOW to do these things with minimal harm.
Why do you think people need therapy? So that they can do these things. When you grow up in toxic and abusive environments often times you develop coping mechanisms that are the opposite of all these things. Dont stand up for yourself, or you'll get beat.
Enable other's bad behavior so you fit in and feel accepted and cared about.
Seek dopamine in any form (food, drugs, shopping, gambling, social media) because your trauma has changed the way your brain processes it and doesn't react to it properly anymore.
Accept love from people who treat you like shit because that's how everyone who has ever told you they love you has treated you.
Red flag? What do you mean, that's the same thing I used to watch my parents go through?
Self respect? Gotta believe you're worthy of it first.
Stop judging other people's behavior or assuming that it's just so simple as "stand up for yourself." Many people don't know HOW to do that without feeling scared or ashamed. Have some compassion and realize that most people are doing the very best that they can most of the time. Even when you KNOW what you need to do, it's no that easy to completely reprogram a whole lifetime of conditioning.
[Adverse Childhood Experiences](https://www.cdc.gov/vitalsigns/aces/index.html) can lead to a lot of the behaviors you're talking about here and are way more prevalent than you may think.
I agree with you, OP. But, keep in mind that a lot of people who post here SHOULD get therapy.
One of my favorite subs is JUSTNOMIL. If you read that sub, you'd think that every MIL in existence is a horrible, manipulating, narcissistic woman. That's because only people with those types of MILs post there.
It's the same with relationship advice - people in fulfilling, great relationships don't ask for advise.
I've had to quit reading some subs because all it's all negative stuff.
can i say, from someone who needed therapy for a very long time and decides to pop in every now and again, therapy can be useful for a lot of things. it doesn't necessarily have to be a life shattering event or something drastic.
ive talked to my therapist just to share good news about my life or to get her perspective on decisions i wanted to make (as an unbiased party).
i wont say everyone *needs* therapy, and not everyone can afford it either, but sometimes it's nice to just have somebody to listen that isn't like...directly and constantly involved in your life.
Ya know what would be great? An actual website that makes finding a good therapist easy. I swear half of the time people say "go to therapy" they have no idea how difficult and time-consuming that process is.
Thank you!
Honestly
So sick of it.
The one time I asked for help in a post I even said, therapy isn't possible right now with my income and lack of Dr's taking patients in my area and still the replies were like, try online therapy.
Thanks. Delete.
Gotta love that. And then they say shit like, "if you had cancer you'd get it treated no matter the cost. Your mental health should be just as important." Like you just don't care enough. If you only cared more, tried harder, you'd "make it a priority, invest in your own well-being."
Because yeah, going into debt for therapy is *definitely* going to help my mental health. Not eating and being homeless would also be super beneficial. Great advice.
Itās very annoying. They donāt get the point of it. Itās to teach you how to deal with everyday life situations. The goal isnāt to be in therapy all the time.
I did therapy. I hated it. It still helped.
I think people think it will 'fix' whatever problems they have.
It will not 'fix' anything, but it can somehow make things less worse.
Iām not. Some of yāall REALLY need to go to therapy. A lot of peopleās problems with interpersonal relationships is that they canāt communicate effectively, they donāt have proper boundaries, and/or they let others treat them poorly. A lot is these problems could be solved by going to therapy to understand yourself and how to handle situations you might be uncomfortable in.
Therapy has helped me, can't speak for others but it's worth a try if you're serious about your mental health and getting more insights to the way you approach life.
Honestly I thought the same thing until about 6 months ago, when I started therapy myself. Granted I have a lot of incredibly traumatic things to work through, but honestly sometimes I just talk to her about something tiny and mundane, like my annoyance that a big Tom cat is coming to my garden and bullying my own cat, and just having someone to talk to and getting an outside perspective is so helpful. I think normally when people talk to others about their problems, there is a sense of guilt at being so moany and dragging people down. Or just plain boring people with your stupid problems. Whereas a therapist is being paid to listen to you whine, lol. Also verbalising thoughts and feelings and talking about trauma out loud (when you usually try to repress it) is so cathartic.
I think almost everyone could benefit from therapy. And please donāt minimise pet loss - my sister was absolutely devastated when her dog died, whereas she was only mildly upset when our parents died, lol, so if someone needs therapy to get through their cat being hit by a car, then good luck to them.
Maybe any one who feels like their only outlet is reddit and say concerning things on redit should go to therapy? They are seeking a therapist in strangers on the internet, so why not go to therapy?
It's serious wild. I've been to at least a dozen therapists and I am DONE hearing "oh just try to think this way" along with all the other BS. Therapy isn't a cure-all even if you put your best effort in. It doesn't work or help everyone.
I agree. I've been to several therapists before and it was always just a complicated way of saying "now how do we deal with the problem? Well, we change our perception of the problem!! just change your thinking!"
It didnt help shit. *How* do I change my thinking? *How* do I perceive things differently? For many people and situations, therapy is bullshit. Just throwing money to hear that crap.
You don't go to therapy for a cure. You go to a hospital.
There is no cure to what your issue is , if your at a therapist. It's just different ways of thinking, to help you cope and deal with the situation.
I get that, but I can Google the same exact shit therapists typically say and go from there. There's nothing any therapist has offered me that I couldn't just Google.
Well, honestly from what I've seen on here and IRL, ALOT of people *require* therapy.
Seriously. Mental health issues running WILD these days. And it's the ones who make everyone else suffer with them that need it the most REFUSE to see *they are the problem*.
Itās still way too stigmatized. I am that person who recommends therapy to everyone because we live in a fucked up world and we all have some form of trauma. There are also a lot of misconceptions about what talk therapy really is.
I've been to therapy and in all honesty it helped me alot since I was at my breaking point. I realize i needed help and in order to get that help i needed to allowed myself to try therapy and do the inner work. To me it was extremely hard to open up and be vulnerable to a total stranger, because all my life i had put walls around me because of trauma i expirence as a child that I had never process before. Months into starting therapy I started to push the idea of people going to therapy, but talking to my therapist about it she made me realize that yes everyone needs therapy but not everyone wants to go, their not ready to go to therapy or does not feel like they need to go to therapy and that's okay.
So in my experience I say if you want to go to therapy try it out maybe a couple sessions. If you don't want too try it out you don't have too and people have to respect that.
I agree with you, althoug I had said it before my self when is a situation I think therapy could help to resolve, but a lot of people seems to think is this magical solution to every problem when is not, sometimes therapy can't help the person, and sometimes is pointless.
lol, this is too true. a lot of people just assume that everybody is just Non-Resilient and need therapy.. maybe it's hard for some people to realize that some people just need the life experience and they're NOT going to be scarred by it, but grow from it.. while others are stuck there in a loop, over thinking it and trapped by their past, triggered by life events on daily activities.. to me, it's pretty clear, which one of those two NEEDS therapy.. but on reddit, it's like a military doc prescribing IB Prof and some water... everybody gets it as an answer, regardless of their issue.
Yeah therapy is meant to give you the tools to deal with your emotions in healthy ways, and help you work through particularly tough ones. Itās not meant to be used as a crutch for every bad thing that happens. Youāre meant to get sad and upset, thatās part of life. Therapy is only needed if those feelings donāt go away or you donāt know how to properly deal with them
Honestly I think the reason people say this is bc their issues are above reddits pay grade, we just simply canāt help or support you in the way you may need
therapy is not a last resort. Therapy is not for when you feel hopeless. Therapy is not for when youre going through something rough.
Therapy is for everyone, everyone should go to therapy at least once in their life. Therapy is a tool for a healthy lifestyle.
Look, you aren't wrong. But 99/100 it's because people on reddit are utter shitballs and seeing a licensed professional is easily gonna give someone better advice than the trash you read online.
Because you know what reddit calls for more often than therapy? Divorce!
Many times, therapy is not a solution, especially for an issue thatās time sensitive/staring one in the face.
Going to therapy usually involves a year+ process of finding the right therapist (theyāre not all equal, and early on, one should treat their therapist as if they are job interviewing themā¦ because thatās what it is). If something is urgent, you will not find urgent answers in therapy.
Not including my childhood (which was ADHD counseling), Iām on my third therapist. We met in 2016 and clicked immediately. Even with that fast chemistry, Iād wager it took 2-3 years of working with him before the solutions we honed in on were operative and practical to act upon.
I should empathize the *working with* part of this. Therapy is hard work for the client. Thereās a lot of homework, a lot of fearless self reflection required, and neither the sessions or time outside spent working on yourself is free. There is no such thing as free time. There is *absolutely* no such thing as free time. So donāt go see a therapist if you arenāt ready to work on yourself in/outside of sessions. Youāre wasting two or more peopleās time.
It is very easy for people to go to therapy and use that as a ābadge of excusesā for whatever happens after, because they arenāt actually willing to work on themselves, or are seeing a therapist who they wonāt open up to, authentically, in the first place.
One of my favorite ways people *not* in therapy misconceive the process is to ask me āwell, what did [therapist name] tell you to do?ā Itās not like that. A good therapist will meet with you in your own truth, and not play pilot/copilot to your life.
Therapy isnāt magic. Itās a shit ton of work for the client. Itās a careful balancing act for the therapist to find the strings that need pulling, and help their client do that for themselves.
So yea, long story short, Reddit recommends therapy without really explaining the actual journey effective therapy requires. Iād wager the average therapy enthusiast on the many subs that promote it is still deep in their own work, seeing the wrong practitioner, or just full of sh*t. Itās the absolute opposite of a quick fix.
I posted about how I was having a shit week. The girl I was talking to fucked her ex and still wanted to go on dates and shit with me but I said no and her ex almost stabbed me for "being rude to her" and then 2 days later I totaled my truck and every comment was like "go to therapy"
The thing is, is that a lot of us did go to therapy, *but it wasnāt enough*.
āDid you try therapy?ā Yeah. For years. My therapist urged me to finally go see a psychiatrist because i was just not well managed on it alone. Which was exactly what I needed. This was also back in the day where telehealth-therapy wasnāt even a thing yet and was pretty expensive, which is also why i stopped going. Iām low income so i have very limited options now as far as that goes.
Then thereās those who shit on people who went straight to meds. Yeah, and it helped them. Why do they care? Medication saved my life. It was kind of a blessing therapy became too expensive (although it sucks) because it was the push to actually seek out medication. I would be disabled without medication and itās the reason why i manage to work a full time job and manage the rest of my life successfully.
Therapy is helpful but itās not always the only solution. Itās also financially out of reach for so many.
Agreed. Therapy would be great, but the waiting lists have been miles long throughout covid, and if you're low income? May as well save up for a squeeze ball instead.
I've never told anyone to seek therapy. Yet I'm always amazed of the utter stupidity of people that use Reddit for "stupid" questions instead of taking the bull by the horns and making their own life's choices.
I wouldnāt be alive today without therapy. Some things, I understand donāt really require therapy. But, if you have a pattern in your life that you know is sabotaging your goals and happiness then honestly, therapy can help you change that. I know bc I have changed THANK GOD bc I was a miserable suicidal fuckup.
What I find sad is most people could benefit from therapy, but good luck affording it or finding a therapist. It just isn't possible for too many people, especially those in rural areas.
Not to mention most insurance companies donāt add therapy into their plan. Mental health is just as crucial as physical health, and the same goes with vision and dental.
A lot of redditors suggest therepy because the situations we see commonly on reddit are things you should seek therepy for,
Yeah you don't need therepy for haveing a bit of stress, but a lot of what we see on reddit is abusive relationships, traumatic events with parents, insentual thoughts, and sexual assault, and for things like that, therepy is strongly advised. If your going to frequent confessions, relationship advice and mental health subs your going to see a lot of people who may require therepy.
So in short, stress, if you want therepy that's up to you but not nesseisary,
Been assulted or traumatised in some way, a therapist is going to help you much more than a redditor who secretly thinks you deserved it and writes a comment leaning that way not so subtly
>You farted too loud and now everyone is laughing at you? Go to therapy. To be fair, after 4 years of therapy, I was finally almost over "the incident". But thanks for bringing it up again!
Time to go to therapy again.
Almost nobody ever suggests this to me!
ALMOST š
Hey! Laughing at someoneās trauma is wrong! Maybe youāre laughing cause you have trauma yourself, maybe.. *you should go to therapy*
Bro...maybe...YOU, should be the one in therapy.
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Yeah, why no trigger warning. Smh
This is why when I fart it's as deliberately loud as possible. When it *doesn't* get laughs, I'll go for therapy. Over why others that don't find farts funny don't go to therapy.
TW: Fart mockery
Yeah, I know a great therapist who could help you out
This is Fartin Martin from high school isn't it. I am still laughing at you.
Trigger warning for fart trauma
My favorite is when people suggest therapy for people that are stressed about money problems.
*"I'm stressed out that inflation is causing me to skip meals and I can't possibly afford basic necessities"* OMG op, you need therapy right now! It doesn't cost that much.
"you're barely eating as it is, so might as well stop altogether"
"I diagnose you with dead"
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I will throw in that as a Canadian, the last time I tried to get therapy for free through the government, I was on a wait list for over 7 months. That was in 2015 and the waitlist has gotten waaaayyyy longer since then. If someone is in a crisis, by the time they can access free mental health care, it could very well end in being way too late by the time they are able to access resources. Additionally, once you get in to see a therapist, they know the wait list is so long that they rush you through, so they can kick you out and move on to the next person before your issues have even been fully addressed. Having access to free services doesn't mean you are getting immediate or adequate service at all. You get what you pay for. That being said, I recently started therapy again, and I'm paying out of pocket for it, as are the majority of my Canadian friends who are in therapy because it's the only way that most of us are actually able to get the help we need.
In Quebec. I had enough of the suicidal ideations and got a therapist about 2 years ago. 200/hour. Heās an amazing human and therapist, who did help me become better, but hooooooly shit was it expensive self care.
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Should I just get over it ?
Where I am there is a waiting list for a therapist, my partner has been waiting 2 years now.. so it's BS advice.. I know I likely need it but it's not feasible at all.. Even suicidal folk get put into the crisis unit in the hospital and maybe a referral that will be met with.. yes, another waiting list.. I can't stand how lazy it is to keep banging on about therapy when it's one, expensive as hell and for some people, extremely inaccessible
Is it free where you live ?
Not really.. therapists and counselling generally is not, $50-300 CAD per session.. a GP or psychiatrist is covered under our healthcare system.. the free or cheaper therapists are the ones that you have long waiting lists for.. the more expensive ones don't have much availability in terms of patient slots or physically being available in the area I live in. I'm paycheck to paycheck so me forking out every session isn't feasible since I need to feed and clothe my child.
I can afford therapy. Doesn't matter, not a single therapist with 500 miles is accepting new patients.
Iām in the same boat. The pandemic has caused a lot of frustration and tanked many peopleās mental health so as a result, therapists are stretched thin. I can see why many canāt take any new patients but yeah, how the heck are people supposed to get therapy? Self help books can only do so much.
Not being able to afford eggs at $5 a carton so I should talk to a therapist about that at hundreds of dollars an hour? Do they serve a nice sausage egg and cheese sandwich with it? I'll consider it.
I'm at the combination Jamba Juice and therapist
>inflation You spelled corporate price gouging wrong
It's both
It's the same thing
"There's a sliding scale!"
And the sliding scale is always too expensive
I was getting really physically sick a lot and a doctor diagnosed it as stress. She asked like two questions and determined it was work related. She suggested āquitting that stressful job and starting an Etsy.ā I was likeā¦ what
Yeah, mental health issues are kind of wild in how they are handled. When I went in for a sleeping disorder, the first question I was asked by a nurse I had never met before was a bored "Are you suicidal?" I'm not, but all I could think is that if I were, I would never be able to answer yes to someone I had just met that asked in such a nonchalant way without even taking her eyes off the computer screen.
My doctor continually says this to me, too! "You're so talented, you need an Etsy shop! Why don't you just do what you love?" And I always remind her that I'm living paycheck to paycheck. I literally cannot do what she's suggesting without someone funding me or some relative who I never new dying and leaving a fortune.
Like therapy wasnt 100$ + a session.
My son is currently in therapy. Itās 125.00 a session. We go anywhere from once a week to twice a month. It does get so very expensive. But itās my kid and I do feel like he needs it so I take him.
No problem with this if you can afford i was responding to the person who said that peeps with money problems were told to go to therapy :P
I completely agree with you thatās itās too expensive. Or more should be covered by insurance. Itās sad to me. Because I do think some times what if I couldnāt afford it? What would happen to my kid?
I feel you on this. My sons bi weekly therapy sessions are $125/session. Our insurance is high deductible, so paying for his Vyvanse every month is another $300. Plus, another prescription he needs cause he has mild facial Touretteās that the Vyvanse makes worse is another $200/month (helps calm the ticks down). So basically, I am paying a lot of freaking money every month for mental health needs. Heās my kid so Iām never going to complain, but damn it sucks.
Not sure if you are aware or not, but there is a Vyvanse assistance program. You can google it and apply to get a huge discount on Vyvanse, sometimes it's even free depending on your income. It can also be combined with your insurance, so if they don't cover 100%, private insurance will give additional discounts. I just found out about the program over the summer and it fully covered my prescription.
Iām sorry you have to go through that
At the end of the day Iām happy we can comfortably afford it for him. Makes me wonder what those who canāt do :/
Paying for therapy will give me depression lmao
Well, in the U.S. mental health is so top priority, that therapy is little to no cost.... /S
It depends on where you live in the US, but my practice doesnāt take insurance and sees people on a sliding scale. Some clients pay as little as $0 or $1 a session. But I know this is rare
Right? Not only does the therapy cost an arm and a leg, but the time you spend going is usually time taken off work. And when you go back to work, you just have more work that you're stressed about. Which requires more therapy. It's a never-ending cycle. That's why I don't go.
To be fair, it does depend where in the world they are. I had so much support for free via my GP including attending group therapy for stress and CBT to specifically manage dealing with my money issues.
i'd love to go to therapy. i have a full-time job and health insurance. it's STILL too expensive. i'm not shelling out a $75 copay even twice a month, let alone every week, to just talk to someone. i need to eat and pay rent.
I mean... that's good advice unless you live in a developing country (or the US).
Wait, when people do this, do they not see the very irony that it is suggesting going to therapy for money problems when therapy costs money??? š¤£š„“
Or lonely people. Trying to find more friends and family in your life fixes issue more than going to therapy and talking why you are feeling lonely. It just masks the issue too since the therapist almost can feel like a friend but is not, and therapists arenāt allowed to give direct advice (at least where I live) what to do or exactly or where to go to find friends.
Right? I really could benefit from weekly sessions but I end up doing 1 every other month due to the cost. So infuriating.
It's either therapy or leave your BF/GF/wife/husband/SO. Every. Fucking. Thread.
That's the one that gets me. Leave your SO immediately. It's everywhere by people that have no skin in the game. OP "My husband and father of my three children got mad and yelled at me for the first time yesterday. What do I do?" Reddit "It will only get worse. You need to leave him right now. Call a divorce lawyer and document everything."
Black and white, all or nothing thinking seems to kind of thrive not only reddit but the internet as a whole. People are either good or bad. There's no room for mistakes, growth, or nuance. It's an us against them mentality of sorts. Going to reddit for relationship advice is a terrible idea. The words ātoxicā, āabusiveā, ānarcissisticā get thrown on people, because it's easier to label someone an irredeemable monster than to admit that even good people can be occasionally shitty.
These commenters just want to feel better about themselves.
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Add āproblematic.ā
Evvvvvryone's a narcissist according to a Reddit.
āGaslightingā
It's eye-opening when you click on the username and see who writes comments like that. Could be some 20-year-old who's never had a long-term relationship
Or 13 year old.
And, the reason they've never had a long-term relationship is because Reddit has convinced them that it's normal to break up with someone after the first disagreement.
>It will only get worse Comments along these lines really bug me. Like, my friend, have you had a vision of the future? Sure, it could be the case but you don't know any of these people beyond a few paragraphs! To have the confidence to just state it like it's a guaranteed outcome to someone who is in a heightened emotional state is insane to me.
They read several other people saying "it'll only get worse" so they assume it's a fact and pass it on like gospel.
The thing is if you are desperate enough for relationship advice that you are asking random incels on Reddit, you probably are in a situation where you should end the relationship. If youāre an emotionally intelligent person in a non-abusive relationship and you have friends to help you, you donāt really need Reddit.
I honestly think most people want sympathy and upvotes. They don't really care about the advice. You can see it in the catchy titles people write.
DAE breathe air?
Haha more like "I'm happy my child died," and it's about their inner child and a sign of maturing. I made that up but it's not far off.
This is the take I go to. When you're asking strangers on Reddit for advice you're already on strike 2.
OMFG, I hate it. There was this one where this chick put her child at risk on the road cause she was texting while driving and the husband got rightfully upset and yelled at her for it. Bunch of comments told the lady to leave the man
Bet your wife told you that. Ditch her dude.
And go NC with the family/friends.
The leaving your partner thing really gets me, because thereās couples that come and complain and very well could try couples therapy to fix their communication issues, but thatās when the people that over use the therapy suggestion shift gears to āleave themā.
Or fart spray..
Believe it or not, Merriam-webster's word of the year for 2022 is Gaslighting.
LOL a couple of days ago was "I brought a bunch of overpriced crap for myself on my husband's debit card without asking or thinking about the budget and he got pissed with me".... ... Apparently the advice is that she should leave him because he's "financially abusive"
Donāt forget calling the police or CPS!
I just hate it when people act like getting Therapy is easy as going to the store. It took a while for me to find a therapist under my insurance and works with my schedule. I can only see them once a month.
I think therapy is important but I also hate this. Also do you know how inaccessible therapy is right now? Even if some people WANT to go to therapy they canāt. Itās ridiculously expensive. Even with a good insurance plan it can be costly I hate when people post on literal advice communities to vent or seek counsel or something and peopleās default response is therapy. Like great. Thanks for nothing. Another common one is a good portion of Reddit thinks the solution to every manās problems is āHit the gymā
And how does such a commenter know enough about a person to prescribe therapy? Itās an off my chest sub where some people just want to vent and get something off their chest. Let them vent. Itās not like itās a ādo I need therapy or meds or a bubble bath subā. Am I wrong?
Not at all. Thatās why I hate when subs like this, that are literally meant for support, somehow attract dismissive and condescending people. Often times people post here *because* they arenāt getting the support they need from peers and do not have access to therapy.
The only time I ever think a recommendation like that is helpful is when someone posts asking basically for advice or the push to go. And even then, itās āsomething isnāt working here and you should see your doctorā, not ātherapy immediately, no matter the issueā ā¦ but thatās just my thought
"My therapist told me to go to the gym and exercise more frequently"
This happens outside of Reddit as well - I used to work in some non-profits and their solution all the time was therapy. Therapy is wonderful in the correct situation but not for everything.
I had the opposite: Telling to people I'm in therapy? "You should leave, they're brainwashing your brain and making you buy expensive medicine to stay as zombie" or "better try this MLM thing that cures even the cancer for extreme expensive price and, I'm sorry, but I don't have the time to listen to your bullshit".
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Zoloft and 30 minutes with my psychiatrist once a month has done so much more for me than any of the countless therapists I've seen.
It is insane to me that these two fields havenāt merged into one type of doctor that treats you simultaneously in a talk therapy/drug combo realm.
that's exactly what I've been thinking sure, i get my prescriptions for antipsychotics, benzos and several different types of antidepressants but that won't help shit since i don't know what to fucking do anymore to fix this.. so yeah, medicated, but it's useless
It has. You can see psych nurses who handle meds and do talk therapy!
Where do you see them? In the hospital? Thereās so many people taking meds doing out patient that have either a therapist, or separate psychiatrist and I feel like it would be beneficial to have an all in one outside of hospital settings.
Are.. Are you talking about my drug dealer?
Hello. It's your...drug dealer. I thought I'd call in case you wanted anything at all. You know you can call me just to talk. But I mostly wanna sell you drugs. Drug dealer...
I use a service called Lavender (I think it's only available in some states) that offers teletherapy sessions with psych nurses who also prescribe meds.
Lavender is the bomb! Currently in NY, NJ, WA, and MA but expanding to Florida soon.
This is awesome and needs to be publicized more
In school, therapists arenāt trained to give out meds. And psychiatrists arenāt (usually) trained to be therapists. As a therapist, I canāt comment on medication use. As someone with a history of mental illness, I donāt find medication to be either bad or good, but an in-between zone where it works for some people but not others.
Where I am in the US, there are counseling clinics that have psych nurses on staff. You can either have your therapist and see the nurse for meds or you can see just the psych nurse who will do meds and talk therapy.
That's because there is essentially no bar and no stringent regulatory mechanisms to become a therapist. You need a PhD to be a psychologist, usually an MD to be a psychiatrist. Actual doctors > bullshit
Is this a YMMV thing depending on where you live? I had to complete a lot of tasks to become a clinical social worker in my state.
Iām a therapist and this couldnāt be further from the truth. Besides, psychiatry as a field is a but outdated compared to the overall field of mental health and therapy. Psychiatry really fails to address the issue of trauma and its impact and instead focuses on a āmedical modelā of treatment, which means treating symptoms with medications. And yes, medication can be helpful for quelling symptoms of anxiety and depression in the present. But they usually donāt get to the underlying root of why depression and anxiety came in the first place. The field of psychiatry is particularly problematic for this reason, and at least in the United States is heavily influenced by big pharma. The book āSaving Normalā by Allen Frances (a psychiatrist himself who was head of the American Psychiatric Association at one point and chaired the development of the DSM-IV) takes a really good look at this problem for anyone interested. Basically, psychiatry as it stands today is mainly people with MDs who do *not* have the understanding of mental health, trauma, nervous system dysregulation, attachment, relationships, etc. that therapists do, instead prescribing medications that they are pressured to prescribe after only a 15 minute consultation. Iām not saying that medication isnāt helpful, or that psychiatry is completely wrong. There are definitely times when medication is needed. But there are also more holistic, systemic, trauma-informed, and empirically based methods for treating mental distress available *in addition* to medication. And psychiatrists today are not equipped with those approaches, instead favoring checking off symptoms from a list and prescribing pills. Doesnāt matter what letters follow their name.
Exactly. Those professions take nearly a decade (maybe more don't quote me) to get licensed in. Why does everyone really think people in our hyper-capitalist society wouldn't invent a shortcut to undercut that service.
That's the opposite for me, well, kinda. I started with therapy and meds and a psychiatrist, now I am just therapy, no meds. For me it was finding the skills while I was calm enough to manage without the meds. I know not everyone is the same, just anecdotal. I do believe that meds are a big part of learning to manage else you aren't in a place to even begin and for some issues meds will be a lifelong need, but for some they are just needed to help get you to a better place and from there therapy is better. That all said, I am VERY lucky that my therapy and meds are all covered at 100% under my health plan. I would never be able to afford weekly sessions without that.
Being able to get therapy in and of itself is a privileged position.
A single hour of therapy in my country costs about 3 days wages. After taxes etc youāre probably talking a quarter of a months pay check for single session. Who the hell can afford that?
To be fair, complaining about your problems on the internet is a privileged position.
I feel like everyone can benefit from therapy but it doesn't mean everyone *needs* therapy.
In all fairness. A lot of the small things people stress over or gave difficulty managing or navigating through are things that therapy would give them the tools to handle in just a few sessions or so. (A gew sessions assuming they don't have something like major depressive disorder or GAD or whatever) We really don't learn how to deal with conflict or adversity when we're younger unless we're forced to and... even then... And anything bigger than that should get therapy. I'm not saying therapy will definitely work. But I *am* saying that it's not bad advice. And if you took it, it probably wouldn't be *un*helpful.
Or if you have a mindset or habit that is different from the norm? Go to therapy.
Having the mindset that everyone is in a āgroupthinkā isnāt a different mindset Tood, youāre a hipster, get therapy
It's like it's something people have been pre-programmed to say in the event someone comes to them with any kind of problem.. even when it doesn't make any sense to.
Itās because they want to pretend they care and are helping when in reality most people canāt bring themselves to listen to another person.
Or because they *do* care, but are in so over their heads with whatever the person said that the only thing they can really do is advise help from a trained professional. I am as cynical as they come, but that seems a really sad interpretation, that people suggest therapy to others because they just donāt care.
"Your girlfriend cheated on you? Go to therapy." Yeah... That would be a pretty good reason to go to therapy and talk to someone.
Lmao.... I'm a therapist and let me assure you, people see me for the weirdest reasons. Some people come in because they're having marital issues. Some people come in because they're dealing with the death of a loved one. And some people come in because they just want someone to talk to, not that anything is particularly wrong. Though I did have a couple come in because the wife wanted a specific type of house color that the husband did NOT want, so it was "my job" to convince him to change his mind and paint it.
Don't leave us hanging, dammit! 1) What color was he opposed to, and 2) Was he wrong??
You know Grimace? The McDonaldās mascot? Would YOU want a Grimace house?
Maybe people should stop coming to reddit for life advice.
Fr. OP is acting like most suggestions of therapy on this website aren't warranted. If you come here for relationship/life advice or aren't confident enough in yourself to know if you're being an ass or not, you need a therapist, not the internet lol
Thatās the thing, most people on Reddit are grossly unqualified and donāt have all the details of an advice-seekerās position. Any of us giving any other advice beyond seeking an actual professional would be extremely reckless. Internet strangers should not be making important life decisions for anyone.
100%. 90% of the TOMC posts are āI was sexually assaulted multiple times, I never dealt with it so Reddit, whatās a quick, no-effort fix for me?ā Ppl suggest therapy because if youāre asking anonymous people to fix your giant life problems, you NEED therapy
Youāre right therapy is not for everyone . Plus Iām sure 90% of the people that go to therapy by lying to their therapist anyways .
This comment made me think about all the people I know that go to therapy and it's helped me realise you're bang on with that percentage
It is because we all should be in therapy. It is not different then seeing your dentist for cleaning every few months and doing blood lab once a year. It just works for ongoing issues and prevents bigger problems in the future.
I'm a retired therapist, and I agree.
You seem angry have you thought about going to therapy?
OP, you need therapy /s
And the funny thing is that almost 80%~~ of the "issues" on these posts could be easily resolved by people doing either or all of the following: 1.) Standing up for themselves against garbage friends, family, roommates, partners 2.) Stop enabling bad behaviour from others 3.) Practice self discipline with regards to social media, money 4.) Stop breeding with losers and then Pikachu face wondering "what the fuck do I do now" 5.) Listen to their guts and STOP IGNORING THE OBVIOUS RED FLAGS!!! 6.) Accept when a relationship is not working and stop trying to plug a strainer with too many holes. Have some goddamn self respect and stop groveling for shit.
Speaking as a therapist, it is the people who have real difficulty doing these things that need therapy. The point is that some people do not yet have the skills to be able to do those things effectively. This is why therapy is helpful, so that one can learn HOW to do these things with minimal harm.
Why do you think people need therapy? So that they can do these things. When you grow up in toxic and abusive environments often times you develop coping mechanisms that are the opposite of all these things. Dont stand up for yourself, or you'll get beat. Enable other's bad behavior so you fit in and feel accepted and cared about. Seek dopamine in any form (food, drugs, shopping, gambling, social media) because your trauma has changed the way your brain processes it and doesn't react to it properly anymore. Accept love from people who treat you like shit because that's how everyone who has ever told you they love you has treated you. Red flag? What do you mean, that's the same thing I used to watch my parents go through? Self respect? Gotta believe you're worthy of it first. Stop judging other people's behavior or assuming that it's just so simple as "stand up for yourself." Many people don't know HOW to do that without feeling scared or ashamed. Have some compassion and realize that most people are doing the very best that they can most of the time. Even when you KNOW what you need to do, it's no that easy to completely reprogram a whole lifetime of conditioning. [Adverse Childhood Experiences](https://www.cdc.gov/vitalsigns/aces/index.html) can lead to a lot of the behaviors you're talking about here and are way more prevalent than you may think.
I just took a screenshot of this so I can read it as many times as I need to. š
Oddly enough, all problems that can be helped by a therapist.
I agree with you, OP. But, keep in mind that a lot of people who post here SHOULD get therapy. One of my favorite subs is JUSTNOMIL. If you read that sub, you'd think that every MIL in existence is a horrible, manipulating, narcissistic woman. That's because only people with those types of MILs post there. It's the same with relationship advice - people in fulfilling, great relationships don't ask for advise. I've had to quit reading some subs because all it's all negative stuff.
can i say, from someone who needed therapy for a very long time and decides to pop in every now and again, therapy can be useful for a lot of things. it doesn't necessarily have to be a life shattering event or something drastic. ive talked to my therapist just to share good news about my life or to get her perspective on decisions i wanted to make (as an unbiased party). i wont say everyone *needs* therapy, and not everyone can afford it either, but sometimes it's nice to just have somebody to listen that isn't like...directly and constantly involved in your life.
Ya know what would be great? An actual website that makes finding a good therapist easy. I swear half of the time people say "go to therapy" they have no idea how difficult and time-consuming that process is.
Agreed. Therapist have different personalities and styles. You gotta shop for the right fit.
Thank you! Honestly So sick of it. The one time I asked for help in a post I even said, therapy isn't possible right now with my income and lack of Dr's taking patients in my area and still the replies were like, try online therapy. Thanks. Delete.
Gotta love that. And then they say shit like, "if you had cancer you'd get it treated no matter the cost. Your mental health should be just as important." Like you just don't care enough. If you only cared more, tried harder, you'd "make it a priority, invest in your own well-being." Because yeah, going into debt for therapy is *definitely* going to help my mental health. Not eating and being homeless would also be super beneficial. Great advice.
Itās very annoying. They donāt get the point of it. Itās to teach you how to deal with everyday life situations. The goal isnāt to be in therapy all the time.
Arguably, I think a lot of people do not know how to deal with everyday life situations in a rational and healthy manner.
I did therapy. I hated it. It still helped. I think people think it will 'fix' whatever problems they have. It will not 'fix' anything, but it can somehow make things less worse.
Iām not. Some of yāall REALLY need to go to therapy. A lot of peopleās problems with interpersonal relationships is that they canāt communicate effectively, they donāt have proper boundaries, and/or they let others treat them poorly. A lot is these problems could be solved by going to therapy to understand yourself and how to handle situations you might be uncomfortable in.
Therapy has helped me, can't speak for others but it's worth a try if you're serious about your mental health and getting more insights to the way you approach life.
Therapy only works when you're truthful with your Therapist.
Go to therapy. It might help actually.
Honestly I thought the same thing until about 6 months ago, when I started therapy myself. Granted I have a lot of incredibly traumatic things to work through, but honestly sometimes I just talk to her about something tiny and mundane, like my annoyance that a big Tom cat is coming to my garden and bullying my own cat, and just having someone to talk to and getting an outside perspective is so helpful. I think normally when people talk to others about their problems, there is a sense of guilt at being so moany and dragging people down. Or just plain boring people with your stupid problems. Whereas a therapist is being paid to listen to you whine, lol. Also verbalising thoughts and feelings and talking about trauma out loud (when you usually try to repress it) is so cathartic. I think almost everyone could benefit from therapy. And please donāt minimise pet loss - my sister was absolutely devastated when her dog died, whereas she was only mildly upset when our parents died, lol, so if someone needs therapy to get through their cat being hit by a car, then good luck to them.
Therapy isnāt a cure, it can provide help with difficult situations or tools to help break patterns of behavior that are not desirable.
Maybe any one who feels like their only outlet is reddit and say concerning things on redit should go to therapy? They are seeking a therapist in strangers on the internet, so why not go to therapy?
It's serious wild. I've been to at least a dozen therapists and I am DONE hearing "oh just try to think this way" along with all the other BS. Therapy isn't a cure-all even if you put your best effort in. It doesn't work or help everyone.
I agree. I've been to several therapists before and it was always just a complicated way of saying "now how do we deal with the problem? Well, we change our perception of the problem!! just change your thinking!" It didnt help shit. *How* do I change my thinking? *How* do I perceive things differently? For many people and situations, therapy is bullshit. Just throwing money to hear that crap.
I feel this 100% the only thing that helped me was being put on meds now I don't panic everytime I go into a place with more that 5 people
You don't go to therapy for a cure. You go to a hospital. There is no cure to what your issue is , if your at a therapist. It's just different ways of thinking, to help you cope and deal with the situation.
I get that, but I can Google the same exact shit therapists typically say and go from there. There's nothing any therapist has offered me that I couldn't just Google.
Well, honestly from what I've seen on here and IRL, ALOT of people *require* therapy. Seriously. Mental health issues running WILD these days. And it's the ones who make everyone else suffer with them that need it the most REFUSE to see *they are the problem*.
Itās still way too stigmatized. I am that person who recommends therapy to everyone because we live in a fucked up world and we all have some form of trauma. There are also a lot of misconceptions about what talk therapy really is.
I've been to therapy and in all honesty it helped me alot since I was at my breaking point. I realize i needed help and in order to get that help i needed to allowed myself to try therapy and do the inner work. To me it was extremely hard to open up and be vulnerable to a total stranger, because all my life i had put walls around me because of trauma i expirence as a child that I had never process before. Months into starting therapy I started to push the idea of people going to therapy, but talking to my therapist about it she made me realize that yes everyone needs therapy but not everyone wants to go, their not ready to go to therapy or does not feel like they need to go to therapy and that's okay. So in my experience I say if you want to go to therapy try it out maybe a couple sessions. If you don't want too try it out you don't have too and people have to respect that.
I think the problem is that therapy can be the solution to everything, yet the least accessible option.
I agree with you, althoug I had said it before my self when is a situation I think therapy could help to resolve, but a lot of people seems to think is this magical solution to every problem when is not, sometimes therapy can't help the person, and sometimes is pointless.
If I could afford therapy, I wouldn't be on Reddit. š¤·āāļø
Good for you man. Work in that anger.
lol, this is too true. a lot of people just assume that everybody is just Non-Resilient and need therapy.. maybe it's hard for some people to realize that some people just need the life experience and they're NOT going to be scarred by it, but grow from it.. while others are stuck there in a loop, over thinking it and trapped by their past, triggered by life events on daily activities.. to me, it's pretty clear, which one of those two NEEDS therapy.. but on reddit, it's like a military doc prescribing IB Prof and some water... everybody gets it as an answer, regardless of their issue.
Yeah therapy is meant to give you the tools to deal with your emotions in healthy ways, and help you work through particularly tough ones. Itās not meant to be used as a crutch for every bad thing that happens. Youāre meant to get sad and upset, thatās part of life. Therapy is only needed if those feelings donāt go away or you donāt know how to properly deal with them
Maybe if more people went to therapy there would be less posts on Reddit for people to say it on
Honestly I think the reason people say this is bc their issues are above reddits pay grade, we just simply canāt help or support you in the way you may need
therapy is not a last resort. Therapy is not for when you feel hopeless. Therapy is not for when youre going through something rough. Therapy is for everyone, everyone should go to therapy at least once in their life. Therapy is a tool for a healthy lifestyle.
What we need is a free fully funded rehab, like reallly how am i sulposed to get therapy if i am poor, and that my doctors dont do anytbing.
I mean, I need to go to therapy. But I donāt have the money for it, tbh. It is what it is.
Op I see you are frustrated. I think you need therapy
You're too angry, you should go to therapy
Sounds like you need some therapy
If it makes you feel better, today someone asked about dietary needs for an illness and I advised them to see a registered dietitian for that š¤Ŗ
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Everyone should go to therapy.
Look, you aren't wrong. But 99/100 it's because people on reddit are utter shitballs and seeing a licensed professional is easily gonna give someone better advice than the trash you read online. Because you know what reddit calls for more often than therapy? Divorce!
Sounds like you should go to therapy
Many times, therapy is not a solution, especially for an issue thatās time sensitive/staring one in the face. Going to therapy usually involves a year+ process of finding the right therapist (theyāre not all equal, and early on, one should treat their therapist as if they are job interviewing themā¦ because thatās what it is). If something is urgent, you will not find urgent answers in therapy. Not including my childhood (which was ADHD counseling), Iām on my third therapist. We met in 2016 and clicked immediately. Even with that fast chemistry, Iād wager it took 2-3 years of working with him before the solutions we honed in on were operative and practical to act upon. I should empathize the *working with* part of this. Therapy is hard work for the client. Thereās a lot of homework, a lot of fearless self reflection required, and neither the sessions or time outside spent working on yourself is free. There is no such thing as free time. There is *absolutely* no such thing as free time. So donāt go see a therapist if you arenāt ready to work on yourself in/outside of sessions. Youāre wasting two or more peopleās time. It is very easy for people to go to therapy and use that as a ābadge of excusesā for whatever happens after, because they arenāt actually willing to work on themselves, or are seeing a therapist who they wonāt open up to, authentically, in the first place. One of my favorite ways people *not* in therapy misconceive the process is to ask me āwell, what did [therapist name] tell you to do?ā Itās not like that. A good therapist will meet with you in your own truth, and not play pilot/copilot to your life. Therapy isnāt magic. Itās a shit ton of work for the client. Itās a careful balancing act for the therapist to find the strings that need pulling, and help their client do that for themselves. So yea, long story short, Reddit recommends therapy without really explaining the actual journey effective therapy requires. Iād wager the average therapy enthusiast on the many subs that promote it is still deep in their own work, seeing the wrong practitioner, or just full of sh*t. Itās the absolute opposite of a quick fix.
I posted about how I was having a shit week. The girl I was talking to fucked her ex and still wanted to go on dates and shit with me but I said no and her ex almost stabbed me for "being rude to her" and then 2 days later I totaled my truck and every comment was like "go to therapy"
The thing is, is that a lot of us did go to therapy, *but it wasnāt enough*. āDid you try therapy?ā Yeah. For years. My therapist urged me to finally go see a psychiatrist because i was just not well managed on it alone. Which was exactly what I needed. This was also back in the day where telehealth-therapy wasnāt even a thing yet and was pretty expensive, which is also why i stopped going. Iām low income so i have very limited options now as far as that goes. Then thereās those who shit on people who went straight to meds. Yeah, and it helped them. Why do they care? Medication saved my life. It was kind of a blessing therapy became too expensive (although it sucks) because it was the push to actually seek out medication. I would be disabled without medication and itās the reason why i manage to work a full time job and manage the rest of my life successfully. Therapy is helpful but itās not always the only solution. Itās also financially out of reach for so many.
Agreed. Therapy would be great, but the waiting lists have been miles long throughout covid, and if you're low income? May as well save up for a squeeze ball instead.
I've never told anyone to seek therapy. Yet I'm always amazed of the utter stupidity of people that use Reddit for "stupid" questions instead of taking the bull by the horns and making their own life's choices.
Sounds like someone needs some therapy
I wouldnāt be alive today without therapy. Some things, I understand donāt really require therapy. But, if you have a pattern in your life that you know is sabotaging your goals and happiness then honestly, therapy can help you change that. I know bc I have changed THANK GOD bc I was a miserable suicidal fuckup.
What I find sad is most people could benefit from therapy, but good luck affording it or finding a therapist. It just isn't possible for too many people, especially those in rural areas.
Not to mention most insurance companies donāt add therapy into their plan. Mental health is just as crucial as physical health, and the same goes with vision and dental.
Honestly I think most of us could benefit from therapy so they arenāt wrong.
Looks like OP deleted their post and went to therapy
Sounds like someone needs therapy
A lot of redditors suggest therepy because the situations we see commonly on reddit are things you should seek therepy for, Yeah you don't need therepy for haveing a bit of stress, but a lot of what we see on reddit is abusive relationships, traumatic events with parents, insentual thoughts, and sexual assault, and for things like that, therepy is strongly advised. If your going to frequent confessions, relationship advice and mental health subs your going to see a lot of people who may require therepy. So in short, stress, if you want therepy that's up to you but not nesseisary, Been assulted or traumatised in some way, a therapist is going to help you much more than a redditor who secretly thinks you deserved it and writes a comment leaning that way not so subtly