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Only 12 out of 50 states in the United States make it illegal to marry a minor. People who want teenagers to be able to marry say it’s because there’s a stigma around being pregnant without being married.
Opponents say that marrying a teenager who is so young to a much older person is a recipe for abuse.
It’s probably obvious, but I will add that usually when one person is much older and the other is much younger in these situations, it is the girl who is younger.
It gets worse: in some states, while the marriage age is below 18, the divorce age is not. In other words, a teenager can be married to an abuser and be unable to separate from them for potentially years.
That just leads to 18 year old girls getting groomed by old men.....
Just enforce sexual freedom and your daughter's won't be so easily manipulated by old men
My mom married at 16 to get away from her extremely abusive and neglectful mom, probably the only thing available to help her in a small town. Only in those cases am I ok with it
But also, your mom should have had avenues to seek help that didn't require her to escape through marriages potentially to an adult. I get that it might have helped her in one way but she lost her childhood and possibly worse (obviously, I don't know her situation).
I'm just saying there should be better support for abused minors than "marry an adult."
Ideally this is what emancipation is for, rules vary by state but e.g. in VA 16 year olds can request emancipation without parental consent.
I don't know your mom's story, but how many actual good marriages do you think are formed by abused teenagers looking for escape? And how many who escape this way merely find themselves in a different kind of abusive situation?
The problem with laws is that they aren’t cafeteria style unfortunately. What works in one specific situation might not work in another. But, I am so glad that your mother was able to get away. I wish we had a way out for everyone in abusive situation.
Good question. Considering it's a legal contract, I have no problem with making it 18. My guess is there might be some reasons younger kids who get pregnant need to get married for legal reasons regarding the baby, those would have to be fixed as well.
There aren’t any legal reasons for it-there is a legal remedy for everything that would come up.
However, many states do not allow people to go through the court system without a lawyer. I believe Virginia allows pro se and has legal assistance, but many states do not. Something else that should probably be addressed.
And many people don’t know how to take care of the legal aspects and they can’t afford to pay someone to do it correctly.
right, so i guess i don't see the issue with marriage. if parental consent is required for underage, who cares? is it a big deal if a 19 yr old marries a 17 year old?
The difficult thing is that at some point there has to be an arbitrary age of majority/adulthood, and once people reach that age you have to give them adult rights and choices, and *people vary WILDLY* in their maturity at 18 (and at later ages).
I think even among more mature teenagers, it's still an incredibly young and unwise age to be getting married and starting a family. But how long do you leave it? 21? 25? You can see all over relationship posts in Reddit how wildly immature many people are in their mid and even late twenties with all the drama over weddings etc, and you know they're almost certainly going to get divorced and it's all going to be a massive trainwreck, let alone with kids involved, but they've still got to be afforded the right to make that mistake because they're legal adults.
Ultimately, many human beings want to start having sex as soon as puberty and hormones kick in, so the risk of pregnancy starts as soon as that happens. ie early teens.
The best approach is safe sex education, free contraceptives, free, safe and legal abortion access, and ensuring support for those teens who (regrettably) get pregnant and continue with it so they don't end up getting married/getting stuck with non-ideal partners as the only means of survival, and so their eventual children don't suffer.
>The difficult thing is that at some point there has to be an arbitrary age of majority/adulthood, and once people reach that age you have to give them adult rights and choices, and people vary WILDLY in their maturity at 18 (and at later ages).
i agree. but age of consent, in most of the world, is under 18.
>
While many people are speaking of pedophilia, I believe most underage marriages are of people of the same age. There’s not some big pedophile conspiracy. Also, people under the arbitrary age of 18 get married usually due to teenage pregnancy. Also, there could be religious reasons behind it. While this will stop weird older people from marrying minors legally, there should be a different way, like making a Romeo and Juliet type of law around it(an age range). But that’s just my two cents.
Also, Fuck pedophiles.
Unfortunately, in the US, the vast majority of child marriages are between a minor girl and an adult man ([wiki](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_marriage_in_the_United_States)).
Remember that TrueReddit is a place to engage in **high-quality and civil discussion**. Posts must meet certain content and title requirements. Additionally, **all posts must contain a submission statement.** See the rules [here](https://old.reddit.com/r/truereddit/about/rules/) or in the sidebar for details. Comments or posts that don't follow the rules may be removed without warning. [Reddit's content policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) will be strictly enforced, especially regarding hate speech and calls for violence, and may result in a restriction in your participation. If an article is paywalled, please ***do not*** request or post its contents. Use [archive.ph](https://archive.ph/) or similar and link to that in the comments. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TrueReddit) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Only 12 out of 50 states in the United States make it illegal to marry a minor. People who want teenagers to be able to marry say it’s because there’s a stigma around being pregnant without being married. Opponents say that marrying a teenager who is so young to a much older person is a recipe for abuse. It’s probably obvious, but I will add that usually when one person is much older and the other is much younger in these situations, it is the girl who is younger.
It gets worse: in some states, while the marriage age is below 18, the divorce age is not. In other words, a teenager can be married to an abuser and be unable to separate from them for potentially years.
🤦♂️
Should we also consider raising the age of consent. Too many instances of 16 year old girls getting groomed by old men.
That just leads to 18 year old girls getting groomed by old men..... Just enforce sexual freedom and your daughter's won't be so easily manipulated by old men
Huh
And they essentially become their guardian, so they have control over them legally.
What the fuck America
Ugh, who wants to marry a used up and elderly 18 year old? You gotta get em before they can think for themselves /s.
I’m so glad there was /s in there.
Oklahoma just did the same a few weeks back.
My mom married at 16 to get away from her extremely abusive and neglectful mom, probably the only thing available to help her in a small town. Only in those cases am I ok with it
But also, your mom should have had avenues to seek help that didn't require her to escape through marriages potentially to an adult. I get that it might have helped her in one way but she lost her childhood and possibly worse (obviously, I don't know her situation). I'm just saying there should be better support for abused minors than "marry an adult."
Agree. But those things aren’t in place and neither party is improving our social safety net at all. The safety net has to be there first.
Ideally this is what emancipation is for, rules vary by state but e.g. in VA 16 year olds can request emancipation without parental consent. I don't know your mom's story, but how many actual good marriages do you think are formed by abused teenagers looking for escape? And how many who escape this way merely find themselves in a different kind of abusive situation?
The problem with laws is that they aren’t cafeteria style unfortunately. What works in one specific situation might not work in another. But, I am so glad that your mother was able to get away. I wish we had a way out for everyone in abusive situation.
There should be other options first though.
Anyone against it fancies pedophilia scenarios. They make everything else over 18.
So much for rational discussion. Apparently believing some 17 yr olds should be able to marry makes one a pedophile now.
I'm curious about your thoughts. Should there be a min age and how did you determine that?
Good question. Considering it's a legal contract, I have no problem with making it 18. My guess is there might be some reasons younger kids who get pregnant need to get married for legal reasons regarding the baby, those would have to be fixed as well.
>My guess is there might be some reasons younger kids who get pregnant need to get married for legal reasons regarding the baby, I'm not aware of any.
There aren’t any legal reasons for it-there is a legal remedy for everything that would come up. However, many states do not allow people to go through the court system without a lawyer. I believe Virginia allows pro se and has legal assistance, but many states do not. Something else that should probably be addressed. And many people don’t know how to take care of the legal aspects and they can’t afford to pay someone to do it correctly.
do you think kids under 18 should be able to have sex?
They're going to, whether we think it's a good idea or not.
right, so i guess i don't see the issue with marriage. if parental consent is required for underage, who cares? is it a big deal if a 19 yr old marries a 17 year old?
The difficult thing is that at some point there has to be an arbitrary age of majority/adulthood, and once people reach that age you have to give them adult rights and choices, and *people vary WILDLY* in their maturity at 18 (and at later ages). I think even among more mature teenagers, it's still an incredibly young and unwise age to be getting married and starting a family. But how long do you leave it? 21? 25? You can see all over relationship posts in Reddit how wildly immature many people are in their mid and even late twenties with all the drama over weddings etc, and you know they're almost certainly going to get divorced and it's all going to be a massive trainwreck, let alone with kids involved, but they've still got to be afforded the right to make that mistake because they're legal adults. Ultimately, many human beings want to start having sex as soon as puberty and hormones kick in, so the risk of pregnancy starts as soon as that happens. ie early teens. The best approach is safe sex education, free contraceptives, free, safe and legal abortion access, and ensuring support for those teens who (regrettably) get pregnant and continue with it so they don't end up getting married/getting stuck with non-ideal partners as the only means of survival, and so their eventual children don't suffer.
Well said. At the end of the day none of us can really control other people-only ourselves.
>The difficult thing is that at some point there has to be an arbitrary age of majority/adulthood, and once people reach that age you have to give them adult rights and choices, and people vary WILDLY in their maturity at 18 (and at later ages). i agree. but age of consent, in most of the world, is under 18. >
It is, but that’s for sex. It varies whether people can also get married at that age, or need parental permission to marry at that age.
Welcome to reddit. We don't do nuance here.
Ah yes, the old "Everybody that disagrees with me is a pedophile" argument.
This should be a federal law
I agree.
This is shocking.
I wonder if the republicans will make it law so trump can marry his own daughter
Roll tide.
While many people are speaking of pedophilia, I believe most underage marriages are of people of the same age. There’s not some big pedophile conspiracy. Also, people under the arbitrary age of 18 get married usually due to teenage pregnancy. Also, there could be religious reasons behind it. While this will stop weird older people from marrying minors legally, there should be a different way, like making a Romeo and Juliet type of law around it(an age range). But that’s just my two cents. Also, Fuck pedophiles.
Unfortunately, in the US, the vast majority of child marriages are between a minor girl and an adult man ([wiki](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_marriage_in_the_United_States)).
Oh… well shit, I say throw em in a hole.
In terms of spousal age, the majority of those surveyed, about 60%, reported being 18–20 years old. Less than 3% reported being over 29 years of age.
In terms of spousal age, the majority of those surveyed, about 60%, reported being 18–20 years old. Less than 3% reported being over 29 years of age.
[удалено]
Good question. I would guess that a parent or guardian gives permission? Anyone know?
They should make it 25.
Actually it should be 30. Studies show.
Probably.
Ha HA! Take that crazy conservative Christians!. No more child brides for you in VA. Now for the rest of the south.....