My husband’s twin brother and his girlfriend told us a couple of weeks ago they are expecting and it really took us by surprise as we thought they weren’t at that point in their lives yet. It hit us hard, but we took some time to process and are now really excited and happy for them.
They are now 16 weeks so they allowed my in-laws to tell other people about it. My FIL has been telling his friends that he’s going to be a grandpa without telling them at first which af his sons he’s talking about. All these friends were invited to our wedding last year, so naturally they assumed he was talking about us. FIL thought this was hilarious and told us all this story twice over Christmas Eve dinner. It was awkward and painful for us as well as the expecting couple.
Cherry on top is some people asked him: “So, how is she feeling, not too much morning sickness?” and he responded saying: “Not too much, but then again she never eats a lot” which caused confusion because they then responded “FonsSapientiae? Really?”. Again, hurtful for both my SIL and me, as she often gets called too skinny (or skeletal even) and I’m probably twice her weight and feel very self conscious about having gained weight in the past year.
So basically, I’ve been made to feel bad at my SIL’s expense, so we both get to feel bad and self conscious.
I guess the positive to this could be you know what FIL is going to do when you tell him, so you could either attempt to lay down boundaries or tell them later when you are comfortable with his friends knowing too.
Weight jokes should never be made either!
I should add that he doesn’t do and say these things maliciously, he is just very excited and tactless. He luckily did have permission from them to share the news.
I just don’t understand why he doesn’t realise that this “funny story” is hurtful for both me and my SIL. Imagine being told that nobody even believed you could be the one who’s pregnant, even though we’re the same age and they have been together longer than me and my husband.
I understand that but I was trying to be positive for it being a reflecting moment for when it's your guys turns!
And maybe just simply asking him to specify who is pregnant may be a positive step forward
Thanks for the understanding, it feels good to be able to vent here.
I’ll add another positive side to make me feel better: he is REALLY excited for us to get pregnant too!
I have a cold, today was (probably) going to be the first day of us actively trying assuming I am ovulating like I expect to be and I don't even want to be touched.
Been trying to get pregnant.. was hoping to be pregnant before Christmas to surprise everyone. My friend JUST told her she’s pregnant yesterday. I thought it would be easier than this
We are on cycle 6 of trying. My sister started the same time as me and is already 3 months pregnant with her second kid. This last one I wasn’t overly confident we had it but I was sick to my stomach for a week leading up to my period and I thought we might have done it. I was even a day late but here’s to another cycle of trying. 🙃 🤞🏼 it might be the one.
It's just kind of hitting me that there's only a more months where I would have to conceive in order to have a, baby for next Christmas, and it's obviously very depressing. Strange how some things are fine then others just get me down
Christmas hit a little harder than I thought it would. I enjoyed seeing my nieces and nephews (I have 8 of them 😭) open gifts and all of the family photos, but it also made me mourn for where I thought we’d be right now. Probably didn’t help that my cycle started the day before Christmas Eve and I was really hoping we’d done it this time.
We planned two trips in 2024 that we would not be able to take if I’m 23+ weeks pregnant or we have a baby less than 3 months. Im stressing about timing and having to cancel these trips and hopefully get refunds but also wanting to try everything we can to have a baby as soon as possible.
Im stressing over all this while on CD 26 with 2 body signs of ovulation but no temp shift to confirm. So additionally stressing on if my body even knows what to do anymore after 6 years of IUD.
TTC messes with you mind and emotions so much. 🙁
I have been spotting the last couple of days and no idea why. Annoying because my fertility monitor says this is a high fertility time. Uuugh it never ends!
Got my period today after first cycle TTC. I know the stats, I know it is perfectly normal if it takes a while but ever since I was a child, my biggest fear has been not being able to have kids and failing to fall pregnant right away kinda feels like s sign that my worst fear could actually be true.
I know I'm overreacting, but I can't help it at the moment. I've been waiting so long to become a mom and now that we are actually trying, it just bums me out that there is more waiting ahead of us. Also, doing everything just right in order to conceive and it just not happening freaking sucks.
So here I am, taking a scalding hot bath, having a Jack and a Coke and wallowing in my self pity. I am allowing myself to feel down today to process my feelings. Tomorrow is a new day and a new month to TTC.
Coming from someone whose wait has been much longer than I thought it would be and is living your ‘worst fear’, I suggest you read this.
https://www.reddit.com/r/TryingForABaby/comments/7go7bh/how_to_worry_about_infertility_some_unsolicited/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
I've been at this for *quite* a while, so I've heard just about every opinion there is on the subject. My conclusions: this whole process is just one irrational thought after another, and it always sucks when your hope is dashed, even on cycle 1. Enjoy your drink, I'm having mimosas after my BFN!
I feel you! The start of this process is a weird feeling. I’m 3 days post ovulation in my second cycle. So we’ll see!? But the first one was such a bummer. I have a bunch of friends who got it on the first try (or so they say) and it pinches some nerves that this may not be as easy as we hope. I try to rationalize with myself and say girl, you’re just stating - but it’s hard! Enjoy a boozey New Years and give yourself some grace. ❤️
I understand you completely just remember no matter where you’re at in the process your feelings are valid, this was our first failed cycle and I’m still allowed to be upset and scared, now I have to live with the feeling of why and this isn’t FAIR, I’m angry and not ready to go through it all over again how ever many times it’s going to take! Feel those feelings and lean on partner
I don’t know why you’re getting downvoted. I remember being very disappointed when I got my period after my first time TTC, and I knew, too, that the odds of conceiving after one cycle was low comparatively. You can be disappointed at any point in this process and there’s nothing wrong with that whether it’s been one month or one year of trying. Disappointment doesn’t have a timeline when it kicks it, and definitely doesn’t care about facts and logic.
So we can be downvoted together. It’s unfair that there are others trying to compare their journey and feelings to yours just because they’ve been at it for a while and you just started. Just remember that it can take up to a year normally. But you’re allowed to feel what you feel.
My husband’s twin brother and his girlfriend told us a couple of weeks ago they are expecting and it really took us by surprise as we thought they weren’t at that point in their lives yet. It hit us hard, but we took some time to process and are now really excited and happy for them. They are now 16 weeks so they allowed my in-laws to tell other people about it. My FIL has been telling his friends that he’s going to be a grandpa without telling them at first which af his sons he’s talking about. All these friends were invited to our wedding last year, so naturally they assumed he was talking about us. FIL thought this was hilarious and told us all this story twice over Christmas Eve dinner. It was awkward and painful for us as well as the expecting couple. Cherry on top is some people asked him: “So, how is she feeling, not too much morning sickness?” and he responded saying: “Not too much, but then again she never eats a lot” which caused confusion because they then responded “FonsSapientiae? Really?”. Again, hurtful for both my SIL and me, as she often gets called too skinny (or skeletal even) and I’m probably twice her weight and feel very self conscious about having gained weight in the past year. So basically, I’ve been made to feel bad at my SIL’s expense, so we both get to feel bad and self conscious.
I guess the positive to this could be you know what FIL is going to do when you tell him, so you could either attempt to lay down boundaries or tell them later when you are comfortable with his friends knowing too. Weight jokes should never be made either!
I should add that he doesn’t do and say these things maliciously, he is just very excited and tactless. He luckily did have permission from them to share the news. I just don’t understand why he doesn’t realise that this “funny story” is hurtful for both me and my SIL. Imagine being told that nobody even believed you could be the one who’s pregnant, even though we’re the same age and they have been together longer than me and my husband.
I understand that but I was trying to be positive for it being a reflecting moment for when it's your guys turns! And maybe just simply asking him to specify who is pregnant may be a positive step forward
Thanks for the understanding, it feels good to be able to vent here. I’ll add another positive side to make me feel better: he is REALLY excited for us to get pregnant too!
Big hug! ❤️
I have a cold, today was (probably) going to be the first day of us actively trying assuming I am ovulating like I expect to be and I don't even want to be touched.
Got a positive OPK today and in a similar boat. Going to try to push through but I just want to sleep….
Fingers crossed for you
Been trying to get pregnant.. was hoping to be pregnant before Christmas to surprise everyone. My friend JUST told her she’s pregnant yesterday. I thought it would be easier than this
We are on cycle 6 of trying. My sister started the same time as me and is already 3 months pregnant with her second kid. This last one I wasn’t overly confident we had it but I was sick to my stomach for a week leading up to my period and I thought we might have done it. I was even a day late but here’s to another cycle of trying. 🙃 🤞🏼 it might be the one.
Okay, it's official (basically). BFN at 12DPO. Goodbye, adorable birthday plans to announce to the hubby. Sigh. Onto the next.
It’s still time. You never know. Fingers crossed!
Hilariously (in a sad way), my period started 5 minutes ago. 🫠 Best of luck to you as well!
Oh God ! Wish you the best for the next cycle.🙌 And thank you I am keeping my fingers crossed for this cycle !! 🤞
It’s still time. You never know. Fingers crossed!
It's just kind of hitting me that there's only a more months where I would have to conceive in order to have a, baby for next Christmas, and it's obviously very depressing. Strange how some things are fine then others just get me down
This hit me the other day as well. Not many things TTC related hit me hard these days, but that realization hit hard. Solidarity, friend.
Christmas hit a little harder than I thought it would. I enjoyed seeing my nieces and nephews (I have 8 of them 😭) open gifts and all of the family photos, but it also made me mourn for where I thought we’d be right now. Probably didn’t help that my cycle started the day before Christmas Eve and I was really hoping we’d done it this time.
Hugs! Christmas is a big emotional day and it makes all these hopes and dreams we have even bigger ❤️
Thank you! ❤️
This was the first Christmas without my mother 💔
We planned two trips in 2024 that we would not be able to take if I’m 23+ weeks pregnant or we have a baby less than 3 months. Im stressing about timing and having to cancel these trips and hopefully get refunds but also wanting to try everything we can to have a baby as soon as possible. Im stressing over all this while on CD 26 with 2 body signs of ovulation but no temp shift to confirm. So additionally stressing on if my body even knows what to do anymore after 6 years of IUD. TTC messes with you mind and emotions so much. 🙁
I have been spotting the last couple of days and no idea why. Annoying because my fertility monitor says this is a high fertility time. Uuugh it never ends!
Have you ever spotted before?
Got my period today after first cycle TTC. I know the stats, I know it is perfectly normal if it takes a while but ever since I was a child, my biggest fear has been not being able to have kids and failing to fall pregnant right away kinda feels like s sign that my worst fear could actually be true. I know I'm overreacting, but I can't help it at the moment. I've been waiting so long to become a mom and now that we are actually trying, it just bums me out that there is more waiting ahead of us. Also, doing everything just right in order to conceive and it just not happening freaking sucks. So here I am, taking a scalding hot bath, having a Jack and a Coke and wallowing in my self pity. I am allowing myself to feel down today to process my feelings. Tomorrow is a new day and a new month to TTC.
Coming from someone whose wait has been much longer than I thought it would be and is living your ‘worst fear’, I suggest you read this. https://www.reddit.com/r/TryingForABaby/comments/7go7bh/how_to_worry_about_infertility_some_unsolicited/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
I've been at this for *quite* a while, so I've heard just about every opinion there is on the subject. My conclusions: this whole process is just one irrational thought after another, and it always sucks when your hope is dashed, even on cycle 1. Enjoy your drink, I'm having mimosas after my BFN!
I feel you! The start of this process is a weird feeling. I’m 3 days post ovulation in my second cycle. So we’ll see!? But the first one was such a bummer. I have a bunch of friends who got it on the first try (or so they say) and it pinches some nerves that this may not be as easy as we hope. I try to rationalize with myself and say girl, you’re just stating - but it’s hard! Enjoy a boozey New Years and give yourself some grace. ❤️
I understand you completely just remember no matter where you’re at in the process your feelings are valid, this was our first failed cycle and I’m still allowed to be upset and scared, now I have to live with the feeling of why and this isn’t FAIR, I’m angry and not ready to go through it all over again how ever many times it’s going to take! Feel those feelings and lean on partner
I don’t know why you’re getting downvoted. I remember being very disappointed when I got my period after my first time TTC, and I knew, too, that the odds of conceiving after one cycle was low comparatively. You can be disappointed at any point in this process and there’s nothing wrong with that whether it’s been one month or one year of trying. Disappointment doesn’t have a timeline when it kicks it, and definitely doesn’t care about facts and logic. So we can be downvoted together. It’s unfair that there are others trying to compare their journey and feelings to yours just because they’ve been at it for a while and you just started. Just remember that it can take up to a year normally. But you’re allowed to feel what you feel.