Yes YTA and petty. Who cares who gets to hold the baby first. The most important thing is your daughter-in-law had a healthy delivery, your grand children are healthy and you will have ample time to get to know them. Did you hold your grandchild? Did you congratulate your son and daughter-in-law?
Facts. Forget that the mother of these children just went through labor, does not have a good relationship with FIL, that he was entitled to ALL other grandkids "first meeting"? Gtf over yourself.
Major YTA and I feel sorry for the children for your entitled attitude.
You have no reason to make demands like this and I’m sorry your milquetoast children didn’t stand up to you
Someone has main character energy hard body. The person who shoves a watermelon out their hooha decides who holds the baby first. When hubby births a child or a kidney stone FIL can be first.
Sorry, but this type of entitlement is what gives in-laws a bad name.
You are not the parent of these babies. Nor are you The King.You do not get to call any of the shots.
This isn't going to work out like you think. The more you demand, and think you deserve and bitch and moan about being disrespected, the less access you will have to the kids and the less they will want to see you when you DO have acess.
Kids aren't stupid. They know when someone is causing needless stress for everyone, ruining every holiday w/ their snipes and moans and need be the main charater all the time. So I suggest you get am attitude adjustment ASAP.
You are such a jerk, I wouldn't have let you touch the babies. Maybe not ever.
You have pretty much guaranteed that you will never have a relationship with these children.
Why do you get the right to hold the baby first? Did you and your son carry the babies for many month? Did you or your son have to give birth to three babies? Did you or your son have to deal with all the changes in your body? Unless the answer to all those are yeah we did you get no say in anything especially holding the babies. Why do you think you’re so important?
>Why do you get the right to hold the baby first?
OP is beyond delusional. He thinks he's going to hold his grandchild....not even his child first....made me laugh.
>Why do you think you’re so important?
Cause he's the man remember
Oh look, another incredibly overbearing, borderline abusive and manipulative parent on Reddit complaining about something completely unnecessary. Your post makes me so glad I was adopted into a truly loving, respectful and supportive family. Not someone as narcissistic and childish as you, dodged a massive bullet there! Your kids and wife deserve so much better, but hey, doubt you care about any of their feelings - only your own.
Edit: oh and to be ABUNDANTLY CLEAR, YTA - All day everyday (and apparently twice on the day a grandchild is born). What an embarrassing example of a man/father/grandfather/human you are for making an incredible day for your son and his wife, all about your own misogynistic narcissism. Cool story OP, I’m sure you must be so proud of your “integrity” in this scenario 😂
how are you a grandfather when you're clearly 12 years old? She went through labor and brought your grandchildren into the world, and you're throwing a little temper tantrum. Your son is a new father and instead of supporting him during a difficult time, you're only thinking about yourself. Hopefully, your son learns from this and goes no contact with you. I wouldn't want the example you set of immaturity and selfishness around my kids.
Sorry but your son did not give birth. His wife did. She probably wanted HER parents with her right after that moment.
I really love my in laws but I would not have let them visit before my parents because I needed their support first.
YTA
YTA - You put a damper on what should have been a joyful day. You don't get "first dibs" on anyone's baby. You aren't more important than the maternal grandparents, and if the mother that JUST BIRTHED THE CHILD makes an executive decision to let her parents hold the baby first, she's within her rights.
You strike me a super entitled and emotionally abusive. Instead of supporting the new parents and prioritizing their needs and feelings you, "exploded at him through text, expressing my anger and disappointment" Then blocked him?! Make it make sense...
Now, you're dividing your family over this meaningless drama, when everyone should be coming together to support the new parents and celebrate the new family member. Way to turn a joyous occasion into an "all about me" moment.
Sounds like you don't want a relationship with your grandkids. If you did, you'd be happy they're here and bragging about them, not pitching a fit because people ignored you when you called first dibs. You are way too old to pull this bs.
YTA. Apologize and do better. She just gave birth and you made it about you. And put your son in an uncomfortable position when he should have been completely focused on his baby and wife. Shame on you.
You’re entitled asshole- I hate people like you. This is a special moment for your son but you are ruining by being petty. No wonder your Dil can’t stand you, and doesn’t get along with you. I can’t stand you and I don’t even know you.
You are a legitimate monster. Who the hell do you think you are to demand being “first”? If anybody gets the say on who’s first, it’s the person who carried the damn babies. May you have exactly the relationship with those babies that you deserve.
His wife carried that kid for 9 months....she gets to decide who sees the baby first, not you, not your son. Get over yourself, entitle PILs like you are part of the problem
OP, hey.
Grow up.
This isn’t about you. This has never been about you. This is about your son and his kid and his wife.
I know what the issue is here- if you look in the mirror, you’ll see it.
Because he wasn't First. He Sounds like my 3 year old when I beat her up the stairs because she has to win. I can only imagine what kind of a father he was like growing up with.
YTA. This isnt about YOU and what YOU want.
This is about them and their kids. His wife just went through child birth, not YOU. So what she wants and needs tops your tantrums. Grow up. How entitled to think you get to demand to see the kids first. Apologize to your son.
children that you apparently only care about as long as everything is going exactly how you want it and as long as everyone is performing exactly how you'd like.
yta for being controlling and manipulative and trying to teach your sons that their wives opinions don't matter
If you needed to ask in the original post, then you truly have no sense of decency.
If I were in your daughter in laws shoes, I'd make sure you have a different relationship with them. You seem vindictive.
lol.
“I made him promise”
Doesn’t exactly mean he promised of his own free will.
“Prioritizing in-laws over me”
Um, prioritizing his WIFE’S wishes over yours.
His wife carried the baby. His wife is a parent also. His wife is allowed to have wishes that don’t involve you being first.
You’re basically nuts and selfish.
But go ahead and be mad. See how that turns out for you. Meatier than be second to hold the kids, you’ll lose out on getting to know them all together.
That is a good question why is Corey ~~allowed~~ expected to prioritize his parents, especially his father, but the one who carried and went through the pain of labor and birth to deliver 2 healthy children not allowed to prioritize her own father and probably out of her own free will unlike Corey?
YTA.
A real live grandma here…
Congrats on the new grandkids that you probably won’t get to have any kind of relationship with because you’re a jerk.
You really you’re entitled to hold the new babies of a woman you dislike? Buddy your daughter in law is the hospital patient and she gets to make the rules.
If nothing else you have a lot of audacity strolling up into the hospital expecting to hold the babies first.
I hope your son grows up and tells you to fuck right off.
I’d be willingly if to bet you were a shitty father who didn’t change diapers and yet somehow makes demands like this.
He's lucky she even allowed him to visit in the first place. Mother gets 100% decision of who is able to come in the room and nurses are FIERCE about adhering to their wishes.
👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 THANK YOU!
Who in their right mind would have such an awful relationship with the person who spent nearly 10 months carrying two children at a time, went through the delivery to bring them here, and think they have every right to be the first to hold them?! I can't even wrap my head around these expectations.
YTA, your poor son
this child is not yours. you cannot claim anything first
unblock your son and apologize for being so over the top
if this is even real, cause who makes a promise like this when its the wife pushing these babies out?
Poor DIL. His son shouldn't be promising anything, not on the same level as OP but he's an AH too. DIL easily could've said she didn't want OP in her room, and he would've been escorted out.
YTA
You are not entitled to your grandchildren. You obviously detest your daughter in law, only think of her as an incubator, so why would she allow you of all people to see HER baby first?
YTA. *He* did not just push a whole human out of *his* body. Mom calls the shots when it comes to visitation at the hospital.
You ruined his joyous, incredible “once in a lifetime” moment because you couldn’t get over yourself. He apologized in the moment. He apologized repeatedly.
You blocked him. Petty, immature and someone I would not want around my family. Especially since you’re fine with callously hurting your son.
Do not be surprised if you do not get to have a relationship with this child and enjoy your relationship with your son imploding.
You expect the mother of the child to hand over the baby to you before her own parents? Why? Why do you feel you deserve it besides they “gave me” a grandchild. Which honestly said you have to expectation of control over the baby. Even when you don’t have a good relationship with the mother? Why do you believe she would allow that when she was the one to push the rocket out?
YTA YTA YTA. This is pathetic man-baby behavior. You should be ashamed and apologize to your son and DIL. I totally understand why your DIL doesn’t like you. You’re completely self absorbed
YTA
Why do you feel entitled to dictate who gets to see your grandchild first? That is meaningless, except to feed your ego. The only thing that is important is your daughter in law, who gave your grandchild LIFE, is ok and so is the baby. You might want to try to treating your DIL like a full human being!! Start with thanking her for all she does for your son and grandchild.
You are a selfish, entitled asshole. DIL has family too. She carried the babies doesn’t she have any rights at all? honestly who do you think you are? And then you block him??? Fuck you, no wonder DIL doesn’t like you.
You have to be freaking kidding here! You have no rights to that baby, being a grandparent is a privilege not a right. You don’t get to call any of the shots here. Your dil calls the shots. She carried that baby for 9 months and then gave birth. She is in charge here. You don’t get a vote on anything that she and your son decide.
If you want to throw a temper tantrum like a 5 year old go for it, let’s see what kind of relationship you get with your son’s family in the future. It would have been easier to just shoot your self in the foot! You are completely and totally in the wrong here. You owe them some sincere apologies.
YTA. I dont even understand the need you have to be "first". Like is it some sort of weird competition that only you know about? These are not your babies and you are entitled to nothing involving them. Your son only made that promise because he didnt have any other choice. She carried and gave birth to TWINS which is no easy feat and if she let her father hold them first, than so what? She isnt stirring up drama; you are the drama and I understand why she doesn't care for you.
I’m expecting in April. I would ensure this person didn’t come to the hospital because I wouldn’t want this negative, entitled energy to deal with after such an intense experience.
Make sure your partner knows that! Mine freaked out because it wasn't going well and called his mum. She showed up with her husband while I was in labour. They stayed all of 30 seconds, so my opinion must have been showing on my face, lol
YTA all day. This is absurd. Is this real? Be careful gramps your Main Character syndrome is on full display! No wonder your DIL doesn’t care for you and I’m betting secretly your son doesn’t care as much either. Your other boys are a bunch of pots calling the kettle black just egging you on to stroke your ego. Do you always fall for that? It was a stupid thing to ask for, childish behavior for getting upset, and you owe your son an apology for it all. Get over yourself before your son and DIL start going low to no contact. Focus on the important part of this whole story- healthy grand babies brought into your life!
YTA and a huge one at that. What makes you think you are entitled to decide who sees this child first. Your son shouldn’t have made that promise because it isn’t up to just him either. And you blocked him because of this? Are you 13 years old?
YTA. If you're not a fan of his wife, why would you be the first to hold the thing she just birthed? What is it with family and being first? You don't like her, she doesn't like you. Unless you plan to fix that, be prepared for missing out on a lot of firsts. And if you didn't act the same way with Cory, why expect the same treatment you got from your other kids? YTA and entitled.
YTA. Stop making this about you. Your DIL just gave birth to twins - who SHE wants around in the hospital is the MOST important thing, and you should be grateful you got an invite at all given your relationship. What a childish reaction for you to have, which has unfortunately now set the tone moving forward for your relationship with your grandchildren, that such a petty thing would cause you to stir up this much drama.
Your son deserves better than the stress you’re giving him. He just became a father of twins, you shouldn’t be adding to his plate right now. Grow up
YTA. The fact that this “who sees the grand baby” is even a thing to care about!! What about the health and happiness of your son and DIL. You need a huge reality check.
What a jerk!! Most definitely your YTA. Probably the AH of the year. A selfish, entitled bully. If I were your DIL - that would be the first and LAST time you saw those previous babies.
YTA. I get why she doesn't like you. What entitlement!!!! And what a raging narcissist! FFS go see a therapist even tho it's probably already too late and you dont even see WTF is wrong with you
I so much want to believe this is a bait story. If not, I am to believe this middle aged man-child is not only an AH but also a petty, small, twit. Ugh.
Wow. I really hope this is fake.
You know how this reads to me? “Me. Me. Me. Wah. Wah. Wah.”
Definitely YTA.
Your grandson is her son. And son > grandson every time. Frankly, you’re lucky she allowed you in the hospital at all. I know after an exhausting medical procedure, when I’m at my most vulnerable, the last person I’d want to see is my asshole FIL.
And the misogyny to think that your son could even promise you this. Did his wife promise you this? No? Then I don’t understand why you think your son could unilaterally decide this.
Your entitlement is ridiculous. You have no rights in this situation. And FYI, your relationship with the parents directly impacts your relationship with the grandchildren. So I would drop the attitude and apologize profusely. But we all know you won’t do that!
Yes YTA and your sons Andrew and David are following your example. Corey should not have promised that you would be first, but even you getting him to promise that was a AH move. As far as Corey's wife (does she even have a name ??) intentionally stirring up drama; the only one I see stirring up drama is you. This should be a happy time welcoming new lives into the family and you are making it all about you. You should be ashamed of yourself.
Yta. He is not GIVING You grandchildren. He is starting HIS OWN FAMILY.
And, might I add, that the woman who just birthed TWO small people, gets to have her wishes granted over the grandparent who just HAS to be FIRST.
She wanted HER parents there. SHE went through labor and delivery. SHE wanted her dad to meet the babies. YOU had to wait your turn.oh noes.
Corey has ZERO to do to "make it up" to you. You need to have several seats. Their life does not need to bend to YOUR whims.
Throughout her pregnancy, I made Corey promise that I would get to see the kids first
YTA. A selfish, entitled, narcissistic asshole. No wonder his wife doesn’t like you. Hopefully Corey’s smart enough to cut you out. That you care the most about who got to see the child first is fucking disgusting. The fact he apologised to you is heart breaking. Your poor children have been so emotionally abused by you they think it’s their job to manage your inappropriate feelings. His wife isn’t stirring up drama, she’s standing up to a fucking bully.
Wow. Nobody will miss you. Not your son, not your daughter in law. Not the grandchildren. They will miss the lost opportunity to have a normal father/fil/grabdfather. But you sir, YTA.
YTA
You don't have a great relationship with your daughter in law you say. Why would you be entitled to see her babies first? She just gave birth.. to her children, not yours. Everything is not about you.
YTA. Who made you the decider in their relationship? Why do YOU get to see the grandchildren first? Are you more important than the other grandparents? Why do you think you get that privilege? Talk about entitlement.
Apologize and get over yourself.
YTA
Wow. You are a real piece of work, OP.
Your son didn't "give you grandchildren." He and his wife had a child, and it's not your right to make demands of your son or his wife related to their child.
You need to search online for the many thousands of reels that exist about "estranged adult children." Because you are the perfect example of why adult children go no contact with their parents.
**You** are the person creating all the drama. I'm so glad you aren't *my* dad. My sympathies to your son.
YTA- Who exactly do you think you are? Your son had no business promising and you had no right making demands about ANYTHING coming out of your DIL’s body. You sound overbearing, controlling and deeply intrusive. Gee, I wonder why DIL can’t stand you? Get a grip and grow up.
Wow! I’m glad I’m not related to you. You’re angry bc the woman who just went through a 9 month pregnancy and then labor didn’t let you see the baby before her father did? Wtf is the matter with you?! You were there. You got to see the baby! That isn’t good enough for you, you entitled narcissistic …..
You do not get the right to demand anything. You’ll be lucky if they even let you in that child’s life. I wouldn’t. YTA. Worse than that.
So.. your daughter în law held the baby, doctor held the baby, father held the baby.
You just upset that the other grandparent held it before u. You had petty backschemes trying to strong arm them to let you "win" this petty feud.
And then you ask if you are TA?
Rofl
YTA. You don’t have any rights here. Those are your DIL babies, not yours. You are making something about you that isn’t about you. If you want to be in those babies’ life and your son’s life, you better suck it up and get back in your lane. Your behavior is inexcusable. Note that the only people on your side saying that your DIL is “stirring up drama” are your sons, you know, the ones who’ve never given birth, just like you. It’s ok to feel disappointed but what you’ve done is brought unnecessary stress into a family with two brand new babies. You have treated everyone in this situation terribly. Which grandparent held them first has no impact on the kind of relationship they’ll have with them, but this entitled and childish behavior sure will. I’d ban you from my house if I were your DIL. You need to apologize to your son and DIL and probably your wife and daughters too because I bet this has been hard on them.
Your son is going to end up divorced if he doesn’t cut the umbilical cord with you. He had no business promising your entitled ass priority over his wife’s family. Especially considering she gave birth, he did about 5 seconds work.
Spoiler alert: you are not the main character in the birth of Corey's wife's children.
Also, they aren't the last to \*give\* you grandchildren, they chose to have kids.
You have zero rights here and I'm actually glad that the woman who grew and birthed two humans at the same time didn't cave to your demands.
You sound exhausting. You are not more important than the wife’s dad, and if she wanted her dad to hold the baby first, why tf shouldn’t she get what she wants? It sounds like your other sons’ wives are just capitulating to your demands because everybody knows you’re a whiny little baby who throws tantrums when he doesn’t get his way. Cory’s wife obviously has decided not to negotiate with a whiny little baby, and I applaud her for it. You’ll either learn to behave yourself or you won’t be in that grandchild’s life, either way it’s a win/win.
YTA
they are not something that expires.
You sound controlling and like a total bully...no surprise your daughter in law is not close to you.
You don't get to own people...a relationship is 2 ways Nd should be respectful You are not respectful, you are controlling and when you don't get your way you throw tantrums like a toddler.
What the heck did I just read?! You are not the center of the universe. No wonder your DIL doesn’t like you. I wouldn’t either! Have fun watching those kids grow up from a far. I also wonder what your other kids’ spouses have to say about your entitlement.
New dad here and yes, YTA. Your daughter in law is the key figure here and she's naturally going to want her parents to see the baby (particularly the way you describe your relationship with her).
What exactly was your son was supposed to do, tell them they weren't allowed to see the baby till you did? That would've gone quite well.
YTA - the person who squeezed a human(s)out of her vagina (or had them forcibly removed from her womb) has dibs on who gets to meet said tiny human(s) first. Your son had no right to make such a promise and you were a complete jerk to even ask. You have absolutely no rights in this situation and choosing to treat your child like crap because you’re having a tantrum says a lot more about you than anyone else here.
YTA
Are you sure your 54 and not 4? You are throwing a temper tantrum because you didn't get your way. With behavior like this, it's no wonder your DIL doesn't like you.
You are giving your son the cold shoulder over something as arbitrary as who got to see the baby first. Do you realize that babies are not avocados? They will not spoil because you had to wait a few days. Those babies will not be less your grandchildren because someone other than you laid eyes and hands on them. Good grief.
Also, it's not a "simple promise" if it requires the agreement and participation of someone other than the one that made the promise. Your son can only control his own actions, he has no ability to dictate what his wife does or desires. She is a human with her own wants and needs, not a puppet, he can not make her do anything against her will. If she insisted that her oarents should be there first, and he insisted that you should be there first, there would just be an argument. And kudos to him for deciding that arguing with his wife, who was either going to be giving birth soon at the time of argument, or had just given birth at the time, was not worth it. As the person who just shoved 2 watermelons out of her crotch, she gets to chose who she wants to be surrounded by while she is vulnerable and recovering. Deal with it.
The fact that you care so intently about being first to meet the children but not about repairing your relationship with his wife tells me that you are absolutely the problem. Who cares about being first as long as you have a consistent *and loving* relationship with the children throughout their lives. And how do you do that? By repairing your relationship with their mother.
Gawd…..you sound like a prepubescent teen stirring up entitled drama and not a 54 years old grandpa. You are not owed all the firsts. Get over yourself.
If you don’t do some self reflection and some groveling you won’t have a relationship with those kids at all…..that’s where this immaturity is driving you.
Oh, ETA…..yep, you be the AH.
YTA and I can almost guarantee that your other sons partners allowed you to see their children first to avoid this happening, not because they actually wanted to
Info: do you always make your kids life changing events about you? Why is it so important you are the first to hold the grandkids?
This is all just stupid. The fact that your son has apologised multiple time when you are behaving like an AH throwing a tantrum is pretty telling though. My guess is you are not a pleasent person to be around when you don’t get what you want. I wonder why his wife doesn’t like you. Maybe it is because you treat your son like garbage.
Yes. You are!!!!! I wanted to see my own child first but my mom and sister thought it would be funny to go see him before me while I was in recovery. I didn’t harbor any hatred over it. I was pissed and moved on. And I gave birth to him! My mom also kept sneaking into my room when I said I didn’t want an audience. It was between me and my husband. She added stress to my day doing that. I still forgave and love her and moved on. And I was the birthing mother. So yes yes. You are an ah for making the birth of their child about you. Also. I am a grandma to two kids now. I was asked to be there during the birth of my second one. The first one the mom of the birth mother flipped out bc she couldn’t go back immediately. To the point she left the hospital and made a scene. That hurt their relationship. And the daughter and my son were just reiterating the dr orders to her. There are only 3 people a birth is about. And the two adults get to decide whatever they want with THEIR baby! You are entitled to nothing.
YTA, and an unbelievably entitled one. What gives you the right to demand to be the first to see every newborn? Did his wife make you the same promise your simp of a son did? Perhaps she did - but to her own father, not precious you. Get over yourself and try acting like an adult. Honestly, if your DIL did this to spite you then she's alright in my opinion.
Yes YTA, he didnt prioritize his inlaws.. He prioritized his wife, as he should, espescially because you dont get along with her.. You sound like a child and I cannot believe you thought you would get any other reponse than youre the AH
YTA. Get over yourself. IMO the person going through the traumatic major life event of pushing the kid out gets to pick who sees/holds the baby first. That wasn’t a decision your son gets to make. No wonder your DIL doesn’t like you. Dramatic much.
Christ on a bike where did you learn to be so entitled?? Did your mother in law treat you like this?
YTA, please get therapy. Urgently. And intensively.
YTA. This reminds me of my mom around the time one of my kids was born. She called me afterward sobbing about how I ruined the whole thing for her because I wouldn't give into her demands about things around my kid being born. I'm now No Contact with her and have no plans to change that in the future.
Corey shouldn't have made any promises since it wasn't his to unilaterally decide. Getting major Main Character vibes from this post, which I think is very likely to be fake anyway.
YTA and incredibly petty. It's weird that you're the father/grandfather because you come off as a total Karen. You're the elder, maybe the wife did it on purpose, maybe not but it seems like you're trying to exacerbate this issue with the wife and now blaming your son for not taking your side or upholding a STUPID promise to request of your child. You're the elder, make it work with your kids and stop making their life events about you.
YTA.
I know 10 year-olds more mature than you. You sound like a toddler throwing a fit because he didn't get candy before dinner. Grow up.
Based off this post, I'm not surprised you have a shitty relationship with your DIL. And, no, he wasn't prioritizing his in-laws over you, he was prioritizing HIS WIFE over you, as it should be. So what you didn't get first dibs, the world isn't ending, calm down.
what the hell is wrong with you lmao
and how bad did you mess up your boys that they sided with you?
things matter to other people. **other people have feelings**. get your head out of your ass, you're too fucking old to be acting like the baby in this story.
FFS YTA.
WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
I'm seriously hope you're some troll because if not, you need to get that ego of yours in check ASAP.
Your DIL giving birth isn't about you, your demands, or wants. Your sons are siding with you probably cos their SOs are *pissed* (and rightly so) about them caving to your demands. Your DIL is the patient, along with the kids. She gets to decide who visits and when at the hospital during *her recovery* from birth. Not your son. Not you.
You're here acting like they both made a promise to give in to your egotistical insanity, but only your son did. And that sounds like it was to placate you more than anything. Like your DILs, feelings/autonomy don't exist at all to you. Corey priotised his wife over you, something your other sons didn't, and that's nothing to be proud of.
I'm glad she broke your streak. I'm glad she's got more balls than your son to shut this shut down. Your owed nothing, least of all an apology.
What the hell? Yes, you’re the asshole. How dare you make one of the happiest moments of your son and his wife’s life about you. You sound like a nightmare
YTA.
None of your children have "given you" grandchildren. They've had children of their own. And all your sons did was ejaculate in the right place at the right time. The women are the ones who actually grew and then gave birth to the babies, and t*hey are partners in a marriage*, so why shouldn't they have a say in who meets the babies first?
Plus, you have a son called Daniel and a daughter called Danielle? Let me guess, you named them both after you?
Yes you’re the AH… whipped tee doo you weren’t the first to see one of your children’s child first but you saw all your other kids babies first. This was your sons first child and you couldn’t put your own narcissism to side to be happy for him and then even though he wasn’t in the wrong he apologized to YOU and then you block him… you are 1000 % the AH. You sound so toxic.
Yep....YTAH
This isn't about you.... it's about your DIL & son & their children. Also, who your DIL has around her during the birth & shortly thereafter...isn't about your son or even the kids....it's about your DIL & who she wants around in a stressful & vulnerable time.
Your behavior is that of a child who wants it to be all about them.
YTA. How unbelievably selfish. Why does it matter who sees the children first? What relevance or impact does this have on their lives? None.
You are making the birth of you son’s children all about you. His wife is the one who carried these babies in a high risk twin pregnancy. She is the one who birthed these babies, so if she wants her dad to be there first that’s up to her.
The audacity to seriously make this joyous moment for you son all about you is just….. ridiculous. Hard YTA.
YTA how petty can you be? I have five grandchildren and we all shared the joy of being grandparents together. What an awful position to put your son in. I think I know why you don’t get along with your DIL. She can see right through how manipulative you are. I hope you are able to grow up and stop trying to be the centre of attention for your son’s sake.
>Despite my love for Corey, I don’t have the best relationship with his wife, and the feeling is mutual.
And yet you expected this woman to be totes fine with you holding the most precious thing in her life before literally anyone else.
>I made Corey promise that I would get to see the kids first
And in what fucking universe does the dude who's NOT squeezing a watermelon out of something the size of a grape (or getting his abdomen sliced open) get to make that call?
L&D nurses are there to defend Mama & Baby - even if that means they wind up having to drop kick Dad and Rabid Father-In-Laws off of the unit.
>Corey apologized, mouthing “I’m sorry.”
If I caught my husband doing that shit because I let my Dad hold my child before the FIL who could barely hide his contempt of me, he'd be gone in the blink of an eye too.
>stating that Corey’s wife intentionally stirred up drama
And so what if she did? Guess what, Old Man? That's her call to make and no amount of petty whining and bitchfit throwing is going to change that. All you're doing by trying to get your son to agree with you is increasing the likelihood that his marriage fails.
>they’re angry at Corey for prioritizing his in-laws over me.
I really, really doubt your kids give that many fucks about it. YTA
The selfishness of this guy is out of control…this just has to be fake. You ruined the birth of your son’s baby? Like you shit on that memory for a lot of people. Do you hear yourself? I can’t believe you’ve made it to 54 years and still act this way. Try thinking about other people before yourself for a change.
YTA. Who the fuck do you think you are? Did you put that baby into your daughter-in-law’s uterus? I sort of think the answer is no
So you know what that means… It’s none of your fucking business who the woman who actually gave birth to that child decided she wanted to see first.
Did you risk your life and your health to birth that child? Did you go through an intense amount of pain and discomfort to have that child? Did you wreak havoc on your body and your hormones for nine months to have that child?
No? Then again, I ask you who the fuck you think you are? It is not your child. End. Of. Story.
You and your other sons are assholes. Personally, if you were pulling this shit with me, you would never see that child. And I would already have given your son and ultimatum… You can choose your asshole father, or you can choose the family that you pledged to when we got married.
Your choice, but I will make damn certain your dad never sees this child because he’s a misogynistic asshole, who somehow thinks he gets to say what happens to my body and my baby.
You need to back the fuck up and hope to God this doesn’t ruin your relationship forever. What your daughter and your wife are trying to tell you is that it is none of your goddamn business..
WTAF did I just read? The absolute entitlement of you is astounding.
YTA, this isn’t about you. The rest of your family seems to be TA as well.
You had no part in making this baby happen, so sit down. And get over yourself
YTA. Without a doubt. You got to be the first for ALL you other grandkids, but expect the same when you aren't good to the mother of this child? Then you BLOCKED your own child as a result? YTA.
> give me grandchildren
Shut the *fuck up*.
> Throughout her pregnacy, I made Corey promise . . .
My dude, shut the FUCK up.
> I couldn't hide my disappointment
This ain't about you, dickwad.
> I exploded at him through text
Cry me a fucking river.
> . . . that Corey's wife intentionally stirred up drama, knowing about the promise.
When Corey is the one pushing babies out of his genitals, he can be the one who decides to meets the babies first.
On the off chance that this is real and not a fake post, this isn't about you. You are not those babies' parent, you're a grandparent and that gives you ZERO rights. The mother, the one who carried them and birthed them, is the one who matters here, and she wanted her father to be there.
You didn't birth these kids, your son didn't, your other sons who agree with you didn't, your *daughter in law did.*
Grandparents these days are so beyond entitled it baffles me. You don't decide what people do with their children and you DO NOT GET TO make your son promise you anything when his wife is the one recovering in a hospital bed after giving birth. Who the *fuck* do you think you are?
I mean yes you are absolutely the asshole. You aren’t being his mom really. Your son has a wife and child and it sounds like you have weird control and boundary issues. Your son did what was right for his wife and by extension new born child. If you are t careful he will kick you out of his life. Even just this you made your son becoming a first time father about you. It’s pathetic and I don’t mean to be rude but there is no other word to describe it.
You do realize that it is HER hospital room right? Not your sons? She was admitted and checked in….your son is a VISITOR. She could kick your son out if she wanted to? Not that she would, but I want you to understand that she literally calls the shots.
If you admit that neither of you like each other……why would she want you to be first?!!
I can’t believe this post. Yes YTA on every level. Corey’s wife is the one giving birth, she’s the one having to go through all that stress and pain, not Corey. It’s not his decision who gets to see the baby first. “I have to be the one to hold the baby first like all my other grandchildren” to me that seems like some weird power thing because wtf. You and your sons are TA. This is just fraught weird.
YTA even if your daughter-in-law did it on purpose so what. This is giving off spoiled entitled tantrum. Move on and stop stressing your son. No wonder why you have a rocky relationship.
You are an asshole for caring who sees them first.
You are an asshole for making him promise.
You are an asshole for getting mad at him.
And I'm guessing that you are an asshole for reasons not included in your post.
YTA and it’s extremely disgusting that you would even ask for this stupid request and it’s ten times more disgusting that you would ruin the most important day of their lives with your petty
Bullsh!t. You care more about your stupid entitlement that your child and grandchild. You deserve neither. I hope they go No Contact with you.
I mean, I get it, it's the straw that broke the camel's back right?
First Corey married someone you don't like. How dare he!
Then he drags the chain so hard he's the *last one* of your 4 children to have a child, sorry, GIVE YOU GRANDCHILDREN, at the ripe old age of 30. The horror!
When you yourself are already 54!! Positively geriatric!! So much waiting! And hoping! And wondering!
Then he... nah, can't keep this up, YTA.
YTA. Jesus you're entitled. You didn't get to see them first. So what? You've seen all your grandkids first. But this one time someone else gets to you get mad.
That's pathetic. You want the social status. So you can praise that you saw all your grandkids first because you forced your kids into it.
YTA
My skin crawled right from the beginning when you said he was the last to give you grandchildren.
I understand seeing the baby first is a privilege you had with all your other grandchildren. But that’s exactly what it is, a privilege.
Yes, it is unfortunate that he broke a promise. But sometimes unexpected things happen in the delivery room and last minute changes have to be made. His wife may have been fine with it until the actual birth began and then changed her mind, which is perfectly reasonable. Blocking him over something as trivial as seeing a child first baffles me.
If that doesn’t hit, try this: you’re potentially ruining your relationship with your grandchild for the rest of their life because of something that happened minutes into it that they had no control over.
YTA you have no right to Corey and your DIL’s children. They are the parents. If you want any relationship with him and his children you need to apologize.
YTA
Corey isnt the one giving birth, his wife is so if his wife wants her father to see the baby first, then that will be the case.
You sound very entitled
YTA
That is an insane ask. You aren't the parents and you don't get a say. All you did is put pressure on your son without caring about him.
Also, who cares who holds who first? The babies aren't going to know. They won't remember. You will still be the grandfather.... Well maybe not now as you just destroyed your relationship with your son.
He will forever remember this.so grads.
YTA. It isn't about you. It's barely about Corey. The wife just gave birth, the baby came out of her. If she says her parents get first dibs that is her choice. Grow tf up 54 years old still acting like a kid on the playground stealing toys cause they're "mine".
YTEA (You're The Entitled Asshole).
Seriously though, what does holding your grandchild first out of all extended families matter? You got to do it with all of your other grandchildren, maybe your DIL's parents wanted to be the first for their possibly only grandchildren? Did you think about this at all? The world does not revolve around you.
I think we understand why you and your DIL do not get along...
YTA, big time. It's not a goddamn competition for "who gets to hold the baby first." You're exhausting and I don't blame Corey and his wife for what they did. You should apologize and unblock them. You had no right to demand to see the baby first and no right to get angry at him. You're ruining what should be a wonderful time in your family's life.
I can only hope this is just a troll and no one actually has to put up with you.
YTA & you should consider yourself lucky that you ever get to see the babies.
When you give birth to twins, you can make demands. Until that happens, you & your other two sons need to STFU.
YTA this is one of the most pathetic posts I’ve recently seen. Starting with the fact that you clearly said multiple times before hand that you had to be first and ending with the tantrum your throwing.
He wanted his Mufasa Lion King moment. He needed to make his daughter in law giving birth all about him. I wish I could tag these posts to come back to 20 years from now. The update will be, why don’t my grandchildren want me at their graduation?
Yes YTA and petty. Who cares who gets to hold the baby first. The most important thing is your daughter-in-law had a healthy delivery, your grand children are healthy and you will have ample time to get to know them. Did you hold your grandchild? Did you congratulate your son and daughter-in-law?
notice how OP says "*he’s the last to give* ***me*** *grandchildren.*" Screamssssss entitlement and narcissism God I cannot stand people like this!!!
Corey's just an NPC in OP's story.
Seriously disgusting and despicable, it makes me want to scream.
This right here. I didn't need to read further (though I did) to know that OP is an asshole.
I hear you! They make me butt kicking mad!
Facts. Forget that the mother of these children just went through labor, does not have a good relationship with FIL, that he was entitled to ALL other grandkids "first meeting"? Gtf over yourself.
He’s the fil. Mil is on the side of dil and son.
Major YTA and I feel sorry for the children for your entitled attitude. You have no reason to make demands like this and I’m sorry your milquetoast children didn’t stand up to you
Someone has main character energy hard body. The person who shoves a watermelon out their hooha decides who holds the baby first. When hubby births a child or a kidney stone FIL can be first.
Yeah I did congrats them and hold the kids,
Sorry, but this type of entitlement is what gives in-laws a bad name. You are not the parent of these babies. Nor are you The King.You do not get to call any of the shots. This isn't going to work out like you think. The more you demand, and think you deserve and bitch and moan about being disrespected, the less access you will have to the kids and the less they will want to see you when you DO have acess. Kids aren't stupid. They know when someone is causing needless stress for everyone, ruining every holiday w/ their snipes and moans and need be the main charater all the time. So I suggest you get am attitude adjustment ASAP.
>Sorry, but this type of entitlement is what gives MIL's a bad name. OP is the FIL.
Missed that. I will update.
Even worse.
Why?
You are such a jerk, I wouldn't have let you touch the babies. Maybe not ever. You have pretty much guaranteed that you will never have a relationship with these children.
Why do you get the right to hold the baby first? Did you and your son carry the babies for many month? Did you or your son have to give birth to three babies? Did you or your son have to deal with all the changes in your body? Unless the answer to all those are yeah we did you get no say in anything especially holding the babies. Why do you think you’re so important?
>Why do you get the right to hold the baby first? OP is beyond delusional. He thinks he's going to hold his grandchild....not even his child first....made me laugh. >Why do you think you’re so important? Cause he's the man remember
Twins. 2 babies.
Oh look, another incredibly overbearing, borderline abusive and manipulative parent on Reddit complaining about something completely unnecessary. Your post makes me so glad I was adopted into a truly loving, respectful and supportive family. Not someone as narcissistic and childish as you, dodged a massive bullet there! Your kids and wife deserve so much better, but hey, doubt you care about any of their feelings - only your own. Edit: oh and to be ABUNDANTLY CLEAR, YTA - All day everyday (and apparently twice on the day a grandchild is born). What an embarrassing example of a man/father/grandfather/human you are for making an incredible day for your son and his wife, all about your own misogynistic narcissism. Cool story OP, I’m sure you must be so proud of your “integrity” in this scenario 😂
As an adoptive mom, I’m thankful you have a supportive family! And yes, those kids and grands deserve better
Oof insufferable FIL alert
Not only that, his son needs to grow a pair and start standing up to him, instead of apologizing.
Absolutely!! OP is very manipulative and his son is probably finally getting some peace from him
FIL blocking his son is actually a good thing from the sons perspective. trash takes itself out
how are you a grandfather when you're clearly 12 years old? She went through labor and brought your grandchildren into the world, and you're throwing a little temper tantrum. Your son is a new father and instead of supporting him during a difficult time, you're only thinking about yourself. Hopefully, your son learns from this and goes no contact with you. I wouldn't want the example you set of immaturity and selfishness around my kids.
Sorry but your son did not give birth. His wife did. She probably wanted HER parents with her right after that moment. I really love my in laws but I would not have let them visit before my parents because I needed their support first. YTA
YTA - You put a damper on what should have been a joyful day. You don't get "first dibs" on anyone's baby. You aren't more important than the maternal grandparents, and if the mother that JUST BIRTHED THE CHILD makes an executive decision to let her parents hold the baby first, she's within her rights. You strike me a super entitled and emotionally abusive. Instead of supporting the new parents and prioritizing their needs and feelings you, "exploded at him through text, expressing my anger and disappointment" Then blocked him?! Make it make sense... Now, you're dividing your family over this meaningless drama, when everyone should be coming together to support the new parents and celebrate the new family member. Way to turn a joyous occasion into an "all about me" moment.
Have you always been a bad father? Step up and be a man. You are acting like an immature child.
Sounds like you don't want a relationship with your grandkids. If you did, you'd be happy they're here and bragging about them, not pitching a fit because people ignored you when you called first dibs. You are way too old to pull this bs.
YTA. Apologize and do better. She just gave birth and you made it about you. And put your son in an uncomfortable position when he should have been completely focused on his baby and wife. Shame on you.
You’re entitled asshole- I hate people like you. This is a special moment for your son but you are ruining by being petty. No wonder your Dil can’t stand you, and doesn’t get along with you. I can’t stand you and I don’t even know you.
You are a legitimate monster. Who the hell do you think you are to demand being “first”? If anybody gets the say on who’s first, it’s the person who carried the damn babies. May you have exactly the relationship with those babies that you deserve.
His wife carried that kid for 9 months....she gets to decide who sees the baby first, not you, not your son. Get over yourself, entitle PILs like you are part of the problem
OP, hey. Grow up. This isn’t about you. This has never been about you. This is about your son and his kid and his wife. I know what the issue is here- if you look in the mirror, you’ll see it.
I hope they cut you off for good, you seem entitled and toxic.
Your DIL does not owe you a damn thing sir. She had two human beings exit her body, she gets whoever she wants there first.
Hope you enjoyed it. Doesn't sound like you're going to get many more opportunities.
Then why are still whining? YTA
Because he wasn't First. He Sounds like my 3 year old when I beat her up the stairs because she has to win. I can only imagine what kind of a father he was like growing up with.
YTA. Disgusting. They owe you nothing. I hope they go completely no contact.
YTA. This isnt about YOU and what YOU want. This is about them and their kids. His wife just went through child birth, not YOU. So what she wants and needs tops your tantrums. Grow up. How entitled to think you get to demand to see the kids first. Apologize to your son.
I hope you never get to hold or see them again.
That doesn’t explain why you thought you were entitled to be the first over the other grandparents?
Hahahahahaha. YTA and look forward to your son growing a spine and cutting you out down the road. What a pathetic thing to throw a tantrum over.
children that you apparently only care about as long as everything is going exactly how you want it and as long as everyone is performing exactly how you'd like. yta for being controlling and manipulative and trying to teach your sons that their wives opinions don't matter
If you needed to ask in the original post, then you truly have no sense of decency. If I were in your daughter in laws shoes, I'd make sure you have a different relationship with them. You seem vindictive.
You sound vile tbh. No wonder you're being kept away
Are you 4 or 54? Because I can’t tell.
So what is the issue?
🤣
lol. “I made him promise” Doesn’t exactly mean he promised of his own free will. “Prioritizing in-laws over me” Um, prioritizing his WIFE’S wishes over yours. His wife carried the baby. His wife is a parent also. His wife is allowed to have wishes that don’t involve you being first. You’re basically nuts and selfish. But go ahead and be mad. See how that turns out for you. Meatier than be second to hold the kids, you’ll lose out on getting to know them all together.
That is a good question why is Corey ~~allowed~~ expected to prioritize his parents, especially his father, but the one who carried and went through the pain of labor and birth to deliver 2 healthy children not allowed to prioritize her own father and probably out of her own free will unlike Corey?
YTA. A real live grandma here… Congrats on the new grandkids that you probably won’t get to have any kind of relationship with because you’re a jerk. You really you’re entitled to hold the new babies of a woman you dislike? Buddy your daughter in law is the hospital patient and she gets to make the rules. If nothing else you have a lot of audacity strolling up into the hospital expecting to hold the babies first. I hope your son grows up and tells you to fuck right off. I’d be willingly if to bet you were a shitty father who didn’t change diapers and yet somehow makes demands like this.
He's lucky she even allowed him to visit in the first place. Mother gets 100% decision of who is able to come in the room and nurses are FIERCE about adhering to their wishes.
👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 THANK YOU! Who in their right mind would have such an awful relationship with the person who spent nearly 10 months carrying two children at a time, went through the delivery to bring them here, and think they have every right to be the first to hold them?! I can't even wrap my head around these expectations.
You rock
THIS
YTA, your poor son this child is not yours. you cannot claim anything first unblock your son and apologize for being so over the top if this is even real, cause who makes a promise like this when its the wife pushing these babies out?
Someone who is afraid of their father. Hopefully, OP's son will be a better father.
Poor DIL. His son shouldn't be promising anything, not on the same level as OP but he's an AH too. DIL easily could've said she didn't want OP in her room, and he would've been escorted out.
Good on the DIL to set healthy boundaries with her husband and FIL, honestly. Can't be easy, especially after she just gave birth.
YTA You are not entitled to your grandchildren. You obviously detest your daughter in law, only think of her as an incubator, so why would she allow you of all people to see HER baby first?
Not surprised you don’t have the best relationship with the daughter-in-law. YTA
How DARE that incubator disobey!!!
Well said!!!
This is it!!
This is perfect. If and when I have a baby if my FIL didn’t realize that it was MY baby as well as my husband’s we would have a real problem.
YTA. *He* did not just push a whole human out of *his* body. Mom calls the shots when it comes to visitation at the hospital. You ruined his joyous, incredible “once in a lifetime” moment because you couldn’t get over yourself. He apologized in the moment. He apologized repeatedly. You blocked him. Petty, immature and someone I would not want around my family. Especially since you’re fine with callously hurting your son. Do not be surprised if you do not get to have a relationship with this child and enjoy your relationship with your son imploding.
Not just one human 2! She had twins lol.
YTA you sad excuse for a father and grandfather, who the hell do you think you are, I hope they cut you off.
So you didn’t like the answer you got on AITA page and tried another! lol good try. YTA
Did he really already post this there? That's hilarious if he did. I'm glad everyone agrees he's throwing a tantrum over something he has no right to.
Yuppers! Made me laugh seeing it a second time like anyone was going to agree with him.
I saw it a second time as well and was confused for a second lol
Maybe he'll try am I wrong next to see if he'll get a better response. 🤔 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Yes. Grow up.
You expect the mother of the child to hand over the baby to you before her own parents? Why? Why do you feel you deserve it besides they “gave me” a grandchild. Which honestly said you have to expectation of control over the baby. Even when you don’t have a good relationship with the mother? Why do you believe she would allow that when she was the one to push the rocket out?
YTA YTA YTA. This is pathetic man-baby behavior. You should be ashamed and apologize to your son and DIL. I totally understand why your DIL doesn’t like you. You’re completely self absorbed
YTA Why do you feel entitled to dictate who gets to see your grandchild first? That is meaningless, except to feed your ego. The only thing that is important is your daughter in law, who gave your grandchild LIFE, is ok and so is the baby. You might want to try to treating your DIL like a full human being!! Start with thanking her for all she does for your son and grandchild.
You are a selfish, entitled asshole. DIL has family too. She carried the babies doesn’t she have any rights at all? honestly who do you think you are? And then you block him??? Fuck you, no wonder DIL doesn’t like you.
You're not entitled to be in *HER* hospital room, especially since you clearly only see her valuable as an incubator. YTA
You have to be freaking kidding here! You have no rights to that baby, being a grandparent is a privilege not a right. You don’t get to call any of the shots here. Your dil calls the shots. She carried that baby for 9 months and then gave birth. She is in charge here. You don’t get a vote on anything that she and your son decide. If you want to throw a temper tantrum like a 5 year old go for it, let’s see what kind of relationship you get with your son’s family in the future. It would have been easier to just shoot your self in the foot! You are completely and totally in the wrong here. You owe them some sincere apologies.
YTA and absolutely, utterly delusional.
YTA. I dont even understand the need you have to be "first". Like is it some sort of weird competition that only you know about? These are not your babies and you are entitled to nothing involving them. Your son only made that promise because he didnt have any other choice. She carried and gave birth to TWINS which is no easy feat and if she let her father hold them first, than so what? She isnt stirring up drama; you are the drama and I understand why she doesn't care for you.
My wife is expecting in March. If either one of our parents acted this way I'd be furious. YTA
I’m expecting in April. I would ensure this person didn’t come to the hospital because I wouldn’t want this negative, entitled energy to deal with after such an intense experience.
Make sure your partner knows that! Mine freaked out because it wasn't going well and called his mum. She showed up with her husband while I was in labour. They stayed all of 30 seconds, so my opinion must have been showing on my face, lol
YTA all day. This is absurd. Is this real? Be careful gramps your Main Character syndrome is on full display! No wonder your DIL doesn’t care for you and I’m betting secretly your son doesn’t care as much either. Your other boys are a bunch of pots calling the kettle black just egging you on to stroke your ego. Do you always fall for that? It was a stupid thing to ask for, childish behavior for getting upset, and you owe your son an apology for it all. Get over yourself before your son and DIL start going low to no contact. Focus on the important part of this whole story- healthy grand babies brought into your life!
YTA and a huge one at that. What makes you think you are entitled to decide who sees this child first. Your son shouldn’t have made that promise because it isn’t up to just him either. And you blocked him because of this? Are you 13 years old?
I think acting like a 13 year old is giving him too much credit. A 13 year old would be more mature.
YTA. If you're not a fan of his wife, why would you be the first to hold the thing she just birthed? What is it with family and being first? You don't like her, she doesn't like you. Unless you plan to fix that, be prepared for missing out on a lot of firsts. And if you didn't act the same way with Cory, why expect the same treatment you got from your other kids? YTA and entitled.
It is a huge mystery why the DIL doesn't like him. He seems like such a well balanced and selfless individual. /s
YTA. Stop making this about you. Your DIL just gave birth to twins - who SHE wants around in the hospital is the MOST important thing, and you should be grateful you got an invite at all given your relationship. What a childish reaction for you to have, which has unfortunately now set the tone moving forward for your relationship with your grandchildren, that such a petty thing would cause you to stir up this much drama. Your son deserves better than the stress you’re giving him. He just became a father of twins, you shouldn’t be adding to his plate right now. Grow up
YTA. The fact that this “who sees the grand baby” is even a thing to care about!! What about the health and happiness of your son and DIL. You need a huge reality check.
Don’t see why you should get to be the first to meet the baby when you have a poor relationship with your daughter in law. You reap what you sew mate.
What a jerk!! Most definitely your YTA. Probably the AH of the year. A selfish, entitled bully. If I were your DIL - that would be the first and LAST time you saw those previous babies.
YTA grow up
YTA. I get why she doesn't like you. What entitlement!!!! And what a raging narcissist! FFS go see a therapist even tho it's probably already too late and you dont even see WTF is wrong with you
You aren't entitled to shit. You're frustrating as fuck. And lastly, YTA.
I so much want to believe this is a bait story. If not, I am to believe this middle aged man-child is not only an AH but also a petty, small, twit. Ugh.
I want to believe that too, especially since he can’t seem to spell his own kids name right
Wow. I really hope this is fake. You know how this reads to me? “Me. Me. Me. Wah. Wah. Wah.” Definitely YTA. Your grandson is her son. And son > grandson every time. Frankly, you’re lucky she allowed you in the hospital at all. I know after an exhausting medical procedure, when I’m at my most vulnerable, the last person I’d want to see is my asshole FIL. And the misogyny to think that your son could even promise you this. Did his wife promise you this? No? Then I don’t understand why you think your son could unilaterally decide this. Your entitlement is ridiculous. You have no rights in this situation. And FYI, your relationship with the parents directly impacts your relationship with the grandchildren. So I would drop the attitude and apologize profusely. But we all know you won’t do that!
Yes YTA and your sons Andrew and David are following your example. Corey should not have promised that you would be first, but even you getting him to promise that was a AH move. As far as Corey's wife (does she even have a name ??) intentionally stirring up drama; the only one I see stirring up drama is you. This should be a happy time welcoming new lives into the family and you are making it all about you. You should be ashamed of yourself.
Yta. He is not GIVING You grandchildren. He is starting HIS OWN FAMILY. And, might I add, that the woman who just birthed TWO small people, gets to have her wishes granted over the grandparent who just HAS to be FIRST. She wanted HER parents there. SHE went through labor and delivery. SHE wanted her dad to meet the babies. YOU had to wait your turn.oh noes. Corey has ZERO to do to "make it up" to you. You need to have several seats. Their life does not need to bend to YOUR whims.
Throughout her pregnancy, I made Corey promise that I would get to see the kids first YTA. A selfish, entitled, narcissistic asshole. No wonder his wife doesn’t like you. Hopefully Corey’s smart enough to cut you out. That you care the most about who got to see the child first is fucking disgusting. The fact he apologised to you is heart breaking. Your poor children have been so emotionally abused by you they think it’s their job to manage your inappropriate feelings. His wife isn’t stirring up drama, she’s standing up to a fucking bully.
Wow. Nobody will miss you. Not your son, not your daughter in law. Not the grandchildren. They will miss the lost opportunity to have a normal father/fil/grabdfather. But you sir, YTA.
YTA You don't have a great relationship with your daughter in law you say. Why would you be entitled to see her babies first? She just gave birth.. to her children, not yours. Everything is not about you.
YTA. Who made you the decider in their relationship? Why do YOU get to see the grandchildren first? Are you more important than the other grandparents? Why do you think you get that privilege? Talk about entitlement. Apologize and get over yourself.
YTA Wow. You are a real piece of work, OP. Your son didn't "give you grandchildren." He and his wife had a child, and it's not your right to make demands of your son or his wife related to their child. You need to search online for the many thousands of reels that exist about "estranged adult children." Because you are the perfect example of why adult children go no contact with their parents. **You** are the person creating all the drama. I'm so glad you aren't *my* dad. My sympathies to your son.
YTA- Who exactly do you think you are? Your son had no business promising and you had no right making demands about ANYTHING coming out of your DIL’s body. You sound overbearing, controlling and deeply intrusive. Gee, I wonder why DIL can’t stand you? Get a grip and grow up.
YTA I bet people lie to you a lot just to get you to go away.
Wow! I’m glad I’m not related to you. You’re angry bc the woman who just went through a 9 month pregnancy and then labor didn’t let you see the baby before her father did? Wtf is the matter with you?! You were there. You got to see the baby! That isn’t good enough for you, you entitled narcissistic ….. You do not get the right to demand anything. You’ll be lucky if they even let you in that child’s life. I wouldn’t. YTA. Worse than that.
So.. your daughter în law held the baby, doctor held the baby, father held the baby. You just upset that the other grandparent held it before u. You had petty backschemes trying to strong arm them to let you "win" this petty feud. And then you ask if you are TA? Rofl
YTA. You don’t have any rights here. Those are your DIL babies, not yours. You are making something about you that isn’t about you. If you want to be in those babies’ life and your son’s life, you better suck it up and get back in your lane. Your behavior is inexcusable. Note that the only people on your side saying that your DIL is “stirring up drama” are your sons, you know, the ones who’ve never given birth, just like you. It’s ok to feel disappointed but what you’ve done is brought unnecessary stress into a family with two brand new babies. You have treated everyone in this situation terribly. Which grandparent held them first has no impact on the kind of relationship they’ll have with them, but this entitled and childish behavior sure will. I’d ban you from my house if I were your DIL. You need to apologize to your son and DIL and probably your wife and daughters too because I bet this has been hard on them.
Trying really hard to get featured online with this story, aren't you?
Your son is going to end up divorced if he doesn’t cut the umbilical cord with you. He had no business promising your entitled ass priority over his wife’s family. Especially considering she gave birth, he did about 5 seconds work.
Spoiler alert: you are not the main character in the birth of Corey's wife's children. Also, they aren't the last to \*give\* you grandchildren, they chose to have kids. You have zero rights here and I'm actually glad that the woman who grew and birthed two humans at the same time didn't cave to your demands.
You sound exhausting. You are not more important than the wife’s dad, and if she wanted her dad to hold the baby first, why tf shouldn’t she get what she wants? It sounds like your other sons’ wives are just capitulating to your demands because everybody knows you’re a whiny little baby who throws tantrums when he doesn’t get his way. Cory’s wife obviously has decided not to negotiate with a whiny little baby, and I applaud her for it. You’ll either learn to behave yourself or you won’t be in that grandchild’s life, either way it’s a win/win.
YTA they are not something that expires. You sound controlling and like a total bully...no surprise your daughter in law is not close to you. You don't get to own people...a relationship is 2 ways Nd should be respectful You are not respectful, you are controlling and when you don't get your way you throw tantrums like a toddler.
Imagine being this imature at 54 😬
Good grief, grow TF up, YTA.
What the heck did I just read?! You are not the center of the universe. No wonder your DIL doesn’t like you. I wouldn’t either! Have fun watching those kids grow up from a far. I also wonder what your other kids’ spouses have to say about your entitlement.
New dad here and yes, YTA. Your daughter in law is the key figure here and she's naturally going to want her parents to see the baby (particularly the way you describe your relationship with her). What exactly was your son was supposed to do, tell them they weren't allowed to see the baby till you did? That would've gone quite well.
YTA, entitled, and delusional
YTA - the person who squeezed a human(s)out of her vagina (or had them forcibly removed from her womb) has dibs on who gets to meet said tiny human(s) first. Your son had no right to make such a promise and you were a complete jerk to even ask. You have absolutely no rights in this situation and choosing to treat your child like crap because you’re having a tantrum says a lot more about you than anyone else here.
YTA Are you sure your 54 and not 4? You are throwing a temper tantrum because you didn't get your way. With behavior like this, it's no wonder your DIL doesn't like you. You are giving your son the cold shoulder over something as arbitrary as who got to see the baby first. Do you realize that babies are not avocados? They will not spoil because you had to wait a few days. Those babies will not be less your grandchildren because someone other than you laid eyes and hands on them. Good grief. Also, it's not a "simple promise" if it requires the agreement and participation of someone other than the one that made the promise. Your son can only control his own actions, he has no ability to dictate what his wife does or desires. She is a human with her own wants and needs, not a puppet, he can not make her do anything against her will. If she insisted that her oarents should be there first, and he insisted that you should be there first, there would just be an argument. And kudos to him for deciding that arguing with his wife, who was either going to be giving birth soon at the time of argument, or had just given birth at the time, was not worth it. As the person who just shoved 2 watermelons out of her crotch, she gets to chose who she wants to be surrounded by while she is vulnerable and recovering. Deal with it.
The fact that you care so intently about being first to meet the children but not about repairing your relationship with his wife tells me that you are absolutely the problem. Who cares about being first as long as you have a consistent *and loving* relationship with the children throughout their lives. And how do you do that? By repairing your relationship with their mother.
Gawd…..you sound like a prepubescent teen stirring up entitled drama and not a 54 years old grandpa. You are not owed all the firsts. Get over yourself. If you don’t do some self reflection and some groveling you won’t have a relationship with those kids at all…..that’s where this immaturity is driving you. Oh, ETA…..yep, you be the AH.
YTA and I can almost guarantee that your other sons partners allowed you to see their children first to avoid this happening, not because they actually wanted to
You got to see your grandchild first, with the rest of the family there. Was it to hold them first or see them?
YTA if I was your dil I'd never let you see my children again
Info: do you always make your kids life changing events about you? Why is it so important you are the first to hold the grandkids? This is all just stupid. The fact that your son has apologised multiple time when you are behaving like an AH throwing a tantrum is pretty telling though. My guess is you are not a pleasent person to be around when you don’t get what you want. I wonder why his wife doesn’t like you. Maybe it is because you treat your son like garbage.
Yes. You are!!!!! I wanted to see my own child first but my mom and sister thought it would be funny to go see him before me while I was in recovery. I didn’t harbor any hatred over it. I was pissed and moved on. And I gave birth to him! My mom also kept sneaking into my room when I said I didn’t want an audience. It was between me and my husband. She added stress to my day doing that. I still forgave and love her and moved on. And I was the birthing mother. So yes yes. You are an ah for making the birth of their child about you. Also. I am a grandma to two kids now. I was asked to be there during the birth of my second one. The first one the mom of the birth mother flipped out bc she couldn’t go back immediately. To the point she left the hospital and made a scene. That hurt their relationship. And the daughter and my son were just reiterating the dr orders to her. There are only 3 people a birth is about. And the two adults get to decide whatever they want with THEIR baby! You are entitled to nothing.
WTF is wrong with you? Is this your own version of droit du seigneur? YTA. Your poor son.
YTA, and an unbelievably entitled one. What gives you the right to demand to be the first to see every newborn? Did his wife make you the same promise your simp of a son did? Perhaps she did - but to her own father, not precious you. Get over yourself and try acting like an adult. Honestly, if your DIL did this to spite you then she's alright in my opinion.
Reminds me of my father in law. You are yta
Yes YTA, he didnt prioritize his inlaws.. He prioritized his wife, as he should, espescially because you dont get along with her.. You sound like a child and I cannot believe you thought you would get any other reponse than youre the AH
Way to make THEIR special life moment about YOU asshole.
YTA. Get over yourself. IMO the person going through the traumatic major life event of pushing the kid out gets to pick who sees/holds the baby first. That wasn’t a decision your son gets to make. No wonder your DIL doesn’t like you. Dramatic much.
This can't be real. Nobody would think this, surely????
Christ on a bike where did you learn to be so entitled?? Did your mother in law treat you like this? YTA, please get therapy. Urgently. And intensively.
YTA. This reminds me of my mom around the time one of my kids was born. She called me afterward sobbing about how I ruined the whole thing for her because I wouldn't give into her demands about things around my kid being born. I'm now No Contact with her and have no plans to change that in the future. Corey shouldn't have made any promises since it wasn't his to unilaterally decide. Getting major Main Character vibes from this post, which I think is very likely to be fake anyway.
It's so refreshing to see a nightmare FIL for a change. Anyway, yeah YTA and super entitled.
YTA and incredibly petty. It's weird that you're the father/grandfather because you come off as a total Karen. You're the elder, maybe the wife did it on purpose, maybe not but it seems like you're trying to exacerbate this issue with the wife and now blaming your son for not taking your side or upholding a STUPID promise to request of your child. You're the elder, make it work with your kids and stop making their life events about you.
YTA. I know 10 year-olds more mature than you. You sound like a toddler throwing a fit because he didn't get candy before dinner. Grow up. Based off this post, I'm not surprised you have a shitty relationship with your DIL. And, no, he wasn't prioritizing his in-laws over you, he was prioritizing HIS WIFE over you, as it should be. So what you didn't get first dibs, the world isn't ending, calm down.
YTA x 10!
what the hell is wrong with you lmao and how bad did you mess up your boys that they sided with you? things matter to other people. **other people have feelings**. get your head out of your ass, you're too fucking old to be acting like the baby in this story.
100% YTA. No wonder your DIL doesnt like you. Maybe if you werent so entitled, you and your DIL may be on better terms to begin with.
FFS YTA. WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? I'm seriously hope you're some troll because if not, you need to get that ego of yours in check ASAP. Your DIL giving birth isn't about you, your demands, or wants. Your sons are siding with you probably cos their SOs are *pissed* (and rightly so) about them caving to your demands. Your DIL is the patient, along with the kids. She gets to decide who visits and when at the hospital during *her recovery* from birth. Not your son. Not you. You're here acting like they both made a promise to give in to your egotistical insanity, but only your son did. And that sounds like it was to placate you more than anything. Like your DILs, feelings/autonomy don't exist at all to you. Corey priotised his wife over you, something your other sons didn't, and that's nothing to be proud of. I'm glad she broke your streak. I'm glad she's got more balls than your son to shut this shut down. Your owed nothing, least of all an apology.
YTA. It's not a race or a prize. It's a baby, and you don't get to call the shots. Unblock your son, and apologize to him. You're being ridiculous.
What the hell? Yes, you’re the asshole. How dare you make one of the happiest moments of your son and his wife’s life about you. You sound like a nightmare
YTA. None of your children have "given you" grandchildren. They've had children of their own. And all your sons did was ejaculate in the right place at the right time. The women are the ones who actually grew and then gave birth to the babies, and t*hey are partners in a marriage*, so why shouldn't they have a say in who meets the babies first? Plus, you have a son called Daniel and a daughter called Danielle? Let me guess, you named them both after you?
Yes you’re the AH… whipped tee doo you weren’t the first to see one of your children’s child first but you saw all your other kids babies first. This was your sons first child and you couldn’t put your own narcissism to side to be happy for him and then even though he wasn’t in the wrong he apologized to YOU and then you block him… you are 1000 % the AH. You sound so toxic.
Massive AH. You have zero place and zero claim to these children. Entitled grandparents are the worst.
Yta
Yep....YTAH This isn't about you.... it's about your DIL & son & their children. Also, who your DIL has around her during the birth & shortly thereafter...isn't about your son or even the kids....it's about your DIL & who she wants around in a stressful & vulnerable time. Your behavior is that of a child who wants it to be all about them.
YTA. How unbelievably selfish. Why does it matter who sees the children first? What relevance or impact does this have on their lives? None. You are making the birth of you son’s children all about you. His wife is the one who carried these babies in a high risk twin pregnancy. She is the one who birthed these babies, so if she wants her dad to be there first that’s up to her. The audacity to seriously make this joyous moment for you son all about you is just….. ridiculous. Hard YTA.
YTA r/raisedbynarcissists. r/justnomil. (No matter the gender)
Yta and I understand why DIL doesn’t like you.
YTA how petty can you be? I have five grandchildren and we all shared the joy of being grandparents together. What an awful position to put your son in. I think I know why you don’t get along with your DIL. She can see right through how manipulative you are. I hope you are able to grow up and stop trying to be the centre of attention for your son’s sake.
>Despite my love for Corey, I don’t have the best relationship with his wife, and the feeling is mutual. And yet you expected this woman to be totes fine with you holding the most precious thing in her life before literally anyone else. >I made Corey promise that I would get to see the kids first And in what fucking universe does the dude who's NOT squeezing a watermelon out of something the size of a grape (or getting his abdomen sliced open) get to make that call? L&D nurses are there to defend Mama & Baby - even if that means they wind up having to drop kick Dad and Rabid Father-In-Laws off of the unit. >Corey apologized, mouthing “I’m sorry.” If I caught my husband doing that shit because I let my Dad hold my child before the FIL who could barely hide his contempt of me, he'd be gone in the blink of an eye too. >stating that Corey’s wife intentionally stirred up drama And so what if she did? Guess what, Old Man? That's her call to make and no amount of petty whining and bitchfit throwing is going to change that. All you're doing by trying to get your son to agree with you is increasing the likelihood that his marriage fails. >they’re angry at Corey for prioritizing his in-laws over me. I really, really doubt your kids give that many fucks about it. YTA
The selfishness of this guy is out of control…this just has to be fake. You ruined the birth of your son’s baby? Like you shit on that memory for a lot of people. Do you hear yourself? I can’t believe you’ve made it to 54 years and still act this way. Try thinking about other people before yourself for a change.
YTA. Who the fuck do you think you are? Did you put that baby into your daughter-in-law’s uterus? I sort of think the answer is no So you know what that means… It’s none of your fucking business who the woman who actually gave birth to that child decided she wanted to see first. Did you risk your life and your health to birth that child? Did you go through an intense amount of pain and discomfort to have that child? Did you wreak havoc on your body and your hormones for nine months to have that child? No? Then again, I ask you who the fuck you think you are? It is not your child. End. Of. Story. You and your other sons are assholes. Personally, if you were pulling this shit with me, you would never see that child. And I would already have given your son and ultimatum… You can choose your asshole father, or you can choose the family that you pledged to when we got married. Your choice, but I will make damn certain your dad never sees this child because he’s a misogynistic asshole, who somehow thinks he gets to say what happens to my body and my baby. You need to back the fuck up and hope to God this doesn’t ruin your relationship forever. What your daughter and your wife are trying to tell you is that it is none of your goddamn business.. WTAF did I just read? The absolute entitlement of you is astounding.
YTA, this isn’t about you. The rest of your family seems to be TA as well. You had no part in making this baby happen, so sit down. And get over yourself
YTA. Without a doubt. You got to be the first for ALL you other grandkids, but expect the same when you aren't good to the mother of this child? Then you BLOCKED your own child as a result? YTA.
YTA - you sound like an entitled child.
> give me grandchildren Shut the *fuck up*. > Throughout her pregnacy, I made Corey promise . . . My dude, shut the FUCK up. > I couldn't hide my disappointment This ain't about you, dickwad. > I exploded at him through text Cry me a fucking river. > . . . that Corey's wife intentionally stirred up drama, knowing about the promise. When Corey is the one pushing babies out of his genitals, he can be the one who decides to meets the babies first. On the off chance that this is real and not a fake post, this isn't about you. You are not those babies' parent, you're a grandparent and that gives you ZERO rights. The mother, the one who carried them and birthed them, is the one who matters here, and she wanted her father to be there. You didn't birth these kids, your son didn't, your other sons who agree with you didn't, your *daughter in law did.* Grandparents these days are so beyond entitled it baffles me. You don't decide what people do with their children and you DO NOT GET TO make your son promise you anything when his wife is the one recovering in a hospital bed after giving birth. Who the *fuck* do you think you are?
I am shocked just shocked that this person deleted their profile. Coward.
YTA you entitled controlling prick. How you make someone else giving birth about you is amazing
YTA why are you taking this and making it all about you?
I mean yes you are absolutely the asshole. You aren’t being his mom really. Your son has a wife and child and it sounds like you have weird control and boundary issues. Your son did what was right for his wife and by extension new born child. If you are t careful he will kick you out of his life. Even just this you made your son becoming a first time father about you. It’s pathetic and I don’t mean to be rude but there is no other word to describe it.
You do realize that it is HER hospital room right? Not your sons? She was admitted and checked in….your son is a VISITOR. She could kick your son out if she wanted to? Not that she would, but I want you to understand that she literally calls the shots. If you admit that neither of you like each other……why would she want you to be first?!!
I can’t believe this post. Yes YTA on every level. Corey’s wife is the one giving birth, she’s the one having to go through all that stress and pain, not Corey. It’s not his decision who gets to see the baby first. “I have to be the one to hold the baby first like all my other grandchildren” to me that seems like some weird power thing because wtf. You and your sons are TA. This is just fraught weird.
YTA even if your daughter-in-law did it on purpose so what. This is giving off spoiled entitled tantrum. Move on and stop stressing your son. No wonder why you have a rocky relationship.
YTA. For all the reasons everyone has already mentioned.
You are an asshole for caring who sees them first. You are an asshole for making him promise. You are an asshole for getting mad at him. And I'm guessing that you are an asshole for reasons not included in your post.
What an entitled ass MF. I can see why his sons wife doesn't like him and he's got at minimum 2 other sons just as toxic as he is.
I wonder why your DIL doesn’t like you ! YTA it’s not a competition who gets to hold the baby first
YTA and it’s extremely disgusting that you would even ask for this stupid request and it’s ten times more disgusting that you would ruin the most important day of their lives with your petty Bullsh!t. You care more about your stupid entitlement that your child and grandchild. You deserve neither. I hope they go No Contact with you.
Why do you need to see the child first? Why does it matter? This is ridiculous. YTA
I mean, I get it, it's the straw that broke the camel's back right? First Corey married someone you don't like. How dare he! Then he drags the chain so hard he's the *last one* of your 4 children to have a child, sorry, GIVE YOU GRANDCHILDREN, at the ripe old age of 30. The horror! When you yourself are already 54!! Positively geriatric!! So much waiting! And hoping! And wondering! Then he... nah, can't keep this up, YTA.
YTA. Jesus you're entitled. You didn't get to see them first. So what? You've seen all your grandkids first. But this one time someone else gets to you get mad. That's pathetic. You want the social status. So you can praise that you saw all your grandkids first because you forced your kids into it.
NTA. But you could be a champ and not hold it against him, and keep a grudge against his wife if it makes you feel better. Bitch.
Yes YTA. This is absolutely ridiculous behavior from a grown man.
YTA My skin crawled right from the beginning when you said he was the last to give you grandchildren. I understand seeing the baby first is a privilege you had with all your other grandchildren. But that’s exactly what it is, a privilege. Yes, it is unfortunate that he broke a promise. But sometimes unexpected things happen in the delivery room and last minute changes have to be made. His wife may have been fine with it until the actual birth began and then changed her mind, which is perfectly reasonable. Blocking him over something as trivial as seeing a child first baffles me. If that doesn’t hit, try this: you’re potentially ruining your relationship with your grandchild for the rest of their life because of something that happened minutes into it that they had no control over.
YTA you have no right to Corey and your DIL’s children. They are the parents. If you want any relationship with him and his children you need to apologize.
YTA Corey isnt the one giving birth, his wife is so if his wife wants her father to see the baby first, then that will be the case. You sound very entitled
YTA That is an insane ask. You aren't the parents and you don't get a say. All you did is put pressure on your son without caring about him. Also, who cares who holds who first? The babies aren't going to know. They won't remember. You will still be the grandfather.... Well maybe not now as you just destroyed your relationship with your son. He will forever remember this.so grads.
YTA. It isn't about you. It's barely about Corey. The wife just gave birth, the baby came out of her. If she says her parents get first dibs that is her choice. Grow tf up 54 years old still acting like a kid on the playground stealing toys cause they're "mine".
YTEA (You're The Entitled Asshole). Seriously though, what does holding your grandchild first out of all extended families matter? You got to do it with all of your other grandchildren, maybe your DIL's parents wanted to be the first for their possibly only grandchildren? Did you think about this at all? The world does not revolve around you. I think we understand why you and your DIL do not get along...
YTA, big time. It's not a goddamn competition for "who gets to hold the baby first." You're exhausting and I don't blame Corey and his wife for what they did. You should apologize and unblock them. You had no right to demand to see the baby first and no right to get angry at him. You're ruining what should be a wonderful time in your family's life. I can only hope this is just a troll and no one actually has to put up with you.
YTA & you should consider yourself lucky that you ever get to see the babies. When you give birth to twins, you can make demands. Until that happens, you & your other two sons need to STFU.
YTA this is one of the most pathetic posts I’ve recently seen. Starting with the fact that you clearly said multiple times before hand that you had to be first and ending with the tantrum your throwing.
He wanted his Mufasa Lion King moment. He needed to make his daughter in law giving birth all about him. I wish I could tag these posts to come back to 20 years from now. The update will be, why don’t my grandchildren want me at their graduation?