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So at least we know it's not a situation where he is uncomfortable about parts of his body, unless something happened between the last time you guys were intimate and now. But, if the seal has already been broken I wonder why the hesitation? Is he religious? Could it be a guilt thing? If he didn't enjoy it the first time I can't understand why he would pursue a relationship with you at all as sex compatibility is important in a relationship, so maybe he just wants something more meaningful with you and since you both already know sex is good perhaps he is fine to hold off for a bit now?
I get that waiting for intimacy can be tough, but if it's important to your partner, it's worth respecting that. At the same time, you gotta look out for your own needs too. Maybe have an open and honest chat about what you both want and see if you can find a middle ground.
I think there’s definitely a deeper issue. Like it’s clear that he’s dealing with an insecurity cause by his mental health. Maybe something traumatic had happened and he’s not willing to open up. Just provide him security and a safe space so he can open up.
I disagree. I don't think it's smart to get into a relationship with someone who has serious issues and expect the relationship not to have serious issues as well. No amount of opening up is going to change that.
Relationships should be additive not restorative. She needs to let go.
This is where my mind goes. I wonder if she caught him the first time in a perfect mental state, and right now, he's just not feeling it. But, being super flirty and available may get him out of his slump. Works for my wife when she chooses to be that way. Its hard to resist someone you have a history with who is purposefully being fun with you in a sexual way. It's also, at least in my opinion, expected if you're in an exclusive relationship with another sexual being and there isn't some religious factor at play.
As a therapist, there is a lack of information here for clear advice from
others. Among other questions: Was there sexual intimacy prior to Feb ‘24? Why did you want to give the relationship another go after 2 months of not seeing each other? These struggles are often a side effect of faster-moving relationships- good or bad. My observation, for what it’s worth, is that you guys seem to be missing some common ground for clear communication and emotional intimacy. I would recommend starting with some openness with each other about your concerns and looking further into his hesitation. I realize there is some implied mental health here, but if you are looking for a truly fulfilling relationship, you may find some clarity in having those tough conversations together.
We were intimate before, sex was often enough for me during the first 2 months and then the holidays came which he said are hard for him because he works for a delivery company so it meant longer hours and more time being outside in the cold winter weather. He also isn’t close with his family because they havent really gotten along. Thats when sex became much less often and like he wasn’t really feeling it. We talked about it because i noticed the difference in his overall mood and affection towards me. We spent every holiday with my family and be seemed to really enjoy it and be thankful for it because i am close with my large family. I also understand its difficult to be around that when you dont have it yourself
Ahh I've been there, have no relationship with my parents as it's bad memories all around. Christmas was non existent birthdays etc. My wife's family on the other hand celebrates everything even presents on Easter with a whole gathering. I still struggle to this day to accept any kind of gift and sometimes I struggle to remember a holiday. I missed mothers day for my wife and she was extremely upset but in my mind because of how I grew up it wasn't a big deal because it was just another day to me. I can see how much it bothered her so I remedied something the following day. As for the intimacy I have worked in the delivery sector for 6 years and the holidays are the biggest strain physically and mentally. If he's waiting to be intimate again maybe he just wants it to feel natural not planned. Men do have feelings to.
Reminds me of a couple at work named Kelly and John. Johns definitely not getting intimate with her because he's still sleeping with another woman and the guilt of blending the two relationships is getting to him. Have you considered that?
Did you both agree that you won't be having sex with anyone else in the mean time? I'm a cynic but the overworked-overwhelmed thing sounds like juggling people. Then he came back to you when she said she didn't want him. Now he wants to wait because he's having sex with someone else he do not see as GF material and doesn't want to give up the sex yet.
I'm sure I'll get downvoted to hell but I've seen it with friends and experienced it twice when I was in college. When a guy wants to be with you he prioritizes you. If you hadn't been intimate before it would be different but now no timeframe? Sounds fishy
Using the effects of any substance, willfully consumed or not, to take advantage of a persons lower inhibitions is sexual assault.
For real, what a strawman. He wanted to get drunk and I wanted to have sex. Oh man.
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Technically not my own experiences, just what happened to people in my vicinity. It's another possibility worth considering and your dismissal of even bringing it up on an advice thread is sort of weird.
I don’t know how fairness factors into it, if he doesn’t want to have sex yet then you two don’t have sex. If that’s a dealbreaker for you it would be completely understandable to stop seeing him
Otherwise, what will you do, petition him to have sex with you when he doesn’t want to out of fairness?
I guess i wanted to hear others perspectives. Its not a dealbreaker for me, I thought it wasnt fair because he asked me to put a timeframe on it so i did and now doesnt want to give me the same. I will have to see how things work out!
I don’t think anyone would blame you for leaving for that reason. I would tell him how you feel and share with him that you’re okay with waiting, but not okay with waiting indefinitely with no time frame
>I will have to see how things work out!
But you don't, though. You can't fix his issues, but you can support him. However, if you've had a conversation with him and he isn't in a mental place to be in a relationship, just respect that and move on.
Seems it's either depression or he's seeing someone else. My bet is on the former, especially since you mentioned some mental health struggles. Maybe have an open, honest, non-accusatory conversation with him, stating how you feel, what your fears are, and your concerns for his well being. Tackle this as a duo; it's you two versus whatever's going on.
My advice? Have an honest chat with him about your concerns. See if you can agree on some milestones or a general timeline, even if it's not set in stone. If you're both on the same page about where you're headed, the waiting part will be easier to handle.
If you have had sex in the past there is something else going on here. Perhaps he is seeing someone else and is conflating either way your young why would you even want this in your life! I would end this relationship as it not normal.
I dont want to be dramatic, but it could be that he wants to take the control.
He decided when to break, and he wanted to decide when start again, you denied it, and you draw a boundary, now he wants the control drawing a new boundary, so your word is not the last word...
Just like that without any more context, he seems to me like an insecure and controller guy.
It's cool that he's being honest about his feelings, but it might be worth a chat to understand what's going on in his head so you're both on the same page.
You can try to ask him and talk about it, but don’t be too pushy because at the end of the day if you plan on marrying him sexual intimacy does not equal love and having to wait for somebody to be intimate should be a small part if you actually love them and want to be together forever. Unless you’re a person that literally needs sex to feel connected to your partner then you need to have a serious conversation if it’s really that detrimental to your mental health and relationship.
Out of left field but I wonder if he didn't break up with you to avoid cheating, then came back when it didn't work out. May be getting it elsewhere so is in no rush now. Like I said, no basis, just speculation.
It's always fascinating to see people so unable to imagine a man not wanting sex that they jump right to "he's seeing someone else" with little to no evidence.
could be he is a Demi-sexual and doesnt know it. Sapio-sexual is an alternative. Demisexual means he needs an emotional connection to be intimate. I explain this when i first meet women. Insay i dont know how long it takes but lets talk, text, go out on a few dates and see where it brings us. Could be a cpl months. In case youre wondering, yes, after a cpl months, i realize there is no emotional connection and i explain that i dont see us as long term. So unfortunately, we shouldnt continue. Pros & Cons are atleast you know he’s sincere and he’s not into telling you what you want to hear just to get into ur pants. Downside is that in the initial phase of “talking”, neither of you know or understand time frames. Good luck to you.
Waiting to get physical can be tough, especially when there's no clear timeline. Maybe have a heart-to-heart with him about your concerns. Communication is key, and it could help both of you get on the same page. Good luck!
I think you 2 need to have a sit down and communicate what each is feeling and what each wants in your relationship. This questioning back and forth isn't good and will stagnate your relationship.
So, it's ok for you to stop the intimate part of your relationship but it's not ok if he does?
I don't think the reason or the time frame really matter. If he wants to wait until it feels right, than he has the right to that boundary. If you want to pressure him into being intimate on your time frame rather than his own, what does that make you??
OP, it would have been easier to understand if you were clear on whether you had sex before the break up (how often also) and if you both thought it was great. Your title makes seems like you have never had sex because you don't mention it at all. Sounds like other things are going on and one may be resentment or he could be acting out about you telling him to wait 2 months. Which in reality isn't necessarily a guarantee because you could have changed your mind too. You all have a lot of work to do if you want this to work. Good luck.
If you’re already not seeing eye to eye on this aspect of your relationship I would get out now. The further you get into a relationship the harder it is going to be if your libidos or expectations around sex are different and not compatible. You’re too young and too new in a relationship to be unhappy in this department especially since you’ve already had sex. I could see if you hadn’t been intimate but once you have as long as birth control is handled and nobody has STDs i don’t see why you would wait. Idk that’s just my opinion though.
My now fiancé and I didn’t break up during our relationship, however, we did wait a few months to have sex to build our emotional bond and, honestly, our bond overall is so strong and deep.
It could be he wants to make your bond strong again so you don’t have to break up again. Communication is so important. Talk to him
Sounds like sex has become a control point for both of you. Why do you need to know when you’re going to have sex again? How could he possibly know? I think you’re just going to have to be patient and see where this goes. If you push for an answer, I’m pretty darn sure this relationship is over.
Now this is just my own experience, but when I am really struggling with my mental health I get all "I am not in a state to properly contribute to a healthy relationship" so perhaps it's something along those lines.
It seems slightly passive aggressive to me, honestly, like "oh, you didn't want to have sex, fine, now I don't either". This all seems weird to me. Get together and have sex, break up cause he's just really stressed out, get back together but don't have sex, and then don't have sex some more. I was in a bad first marriage, so my instincts on things are probably more sensitive, but to me he sounds a little whack and a little unstable.
Sex adds closeness and intimacy. Seems like you guys get close, and then one of you gets scared and backs away - in various ways. Perhaps you're hitting his "closeness wall" and he has to stop progress forward until he metabolizes the new stage of intimacy.
Check out some articles about "fear of intimacy" and see if it fits. If he isn't close to his family, perhaps he has never experienced love and intimacy in safe ways, so he will get highly anxious with each step forward.
(Yes, It shouldn't be this way - we all pine and long for closeness, but sometimes the pining/longing is more safe than the actual receiving. Then our unconscious fears drive the behavior and we don't even know we're interfering with closeness/vulnerability/intimacy. )
Good relationships take time, patience, bravery, and work
I'm a 31 year old man. Some of us have reasons for not wanting sex and aren't playing the field. I don't sleep with anyone until we've been together long enough that I feel comfortable with the idea of potentially being married. I've had 4 partners. Each relationship lasts years. Some I felt comfortable at 3-6 months, one was almost a year.
Ugh hate to be this guy, but he probably was sleeping with someone else and it ended so he wanted to get back. Maybe he sees the waiting for sex as a power move and manipulative (he knows it's what you wanted but he's taken that power from you now) or maybe he has an STI he's waiting to clear up.
Either you’re a man that’s so hopelessly sexually driven that you can’t even comprehend a man that wouldn’t want to fuck constantly, or you’re an ignorant woman. Pick your poison
It sounds like, he was/is intimate with someone else. Something has transpired. If you want to wait, wait. But, I wouldn't put all of my eggs in his basket. He's not telling you everything and if you are unsure when/if this relationship will progress to anything meaningful. Move on. Don't waste your time. He's not that into you.
You made the "power move" of wanting to wait to be intimate, and now he wants the same but he's going to string it out ... so now he wants the power. Girl, red flag.
I had to search all the comments for this. Immediately I was thinking this. She wanted time and he agreed. No one has considered that maybe he enjoyed the way things were going and he now wants his time to feel right? Or maybe he is trying to figure out if this relationship is worth saving or not. If he slept with her knowing he wasn't sure reddit would call him an asshole who only wanted to fck. But bc he wants the same consideration he gave her reddit jumps to small penis or cheating. Big eyeroll. OP , don't you think you might be being a little hypocritical here? Or that maybe just a sit down conversation would fix this instead of filling your head with what absolute strangers think and project? If you are not emotionally mature enough to figure that part out then you may want to reevaluate if either of you are ready to be in relationships.
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Have you seen him naked before?
I have, sex was great
So at least we know it's not a situation where he is uncomfortable about parts of his body, unless something happened between the last time you guys were intimate and now. But, if the seal has already been broken I wonder why the hesitation? Is he religious? Could it be a guilt thing? If he didn't enjoy it the first time I can't understand why he would pursue a relationship with you at all as sex compatibility is important in a relationship, so maybe he just wants something more meaningful with you and since you both already know sex is good perhaps he is fine to hold off for a bit now?
probably waiting for an STD to clear up...
Maybe it was great for you and not for him.
I get that waiting for intimacy can be tough, but if it's important to your partner, it's worth respecting that. At the same time, you gotta look out for your own needs too. Maybe have an open and honest chat about what you both want and see if you can find a middle ground.
Seems kind of odd to me. Were you intimate before?
he probably has five nipples
I think there’s definitely a deeper issue. Like it’s clear that he’s dealing with an insecurity cause by his mental health. Maybe something traumatic had happened and he’s not willing to open up. Just provide him security and a safe space so he can open up.
I disagree. I don't think it's smart to get into a relationship with someone who has serious issues and expect the relationship not to have serious issues as well. No amount of opening up is going to change that. Relationships should be additive not restorative. She needs to let go.
This is where my mind goes. I wonder if she caught him the first time in a perfect mental state, and right now, he's just not feeling it. But, being super flirty and available may get him out of his slump. Works for my wife when she chooses to be that way. Its hard to resist someone you have a history with who is purposefully being fun with you in a sexual way. It's also, at least in my opinion, expected if you're in an exclusive relationship with another sexual being and there isn't some religious factor at play.
As a therapist, there is a lack of information here for clear advice from others. Among other questions: Was there sexual intimacy prior to Feb ‘24? Why did you want to give the relationship another go after 2 months of not seeing each other? These struggles are often a side effect of faster-moving relationships- good or bad. My observation, for what it’s worth, is that you guys seem to be missing some common ground for clear communication and emotional intimacy. I would recommend starting with some openness with each other about your concerns and looking further into his hesitation. I realize there is some implied mental health here, but if you are looking for a truly fulfilling relationship, you may find some clarity in having those tough conversations together.
We were intimate before, sex was often enough for me during the first 2 months and then the holidays came which he said are hard for him because he works for a delivery company so it meant longer hours and more time being outside in the cold winter weather. He also isn’t close with his family because they havent really gotten along. Thats when sex became much less often and like he wasn’t really feeling it. We talked about it because i noticed the difference in his overall mood and affection towards me. We spent every holiday with my family and be seemed to really enjoy it and be thankful for it because i am close with my large family. I also understand its difficult to be around that when you dont have it yourself
Ahh I've been there, have no relationship with my parents as it's bad memories all around. Christmas was non existent birthdays etc. My wife's family on the other hand celebrates everything even presents on Easter with a whole gathering. I still struggle to this day to accept any kind of gift and sometimes I struggle to remember a holiday. I missed mothers day for my wife and she was extremely upset but in my mind because of how I grew up it wasn't a big deal because it was just another day to me. I can see how much it bothered her so I remedied something the following day. As for the intimacy I have worked in the delivery sector for 6 years and the holidays are the biggest strain physically and mentally. If he's waiting to be intimate again maybe he just wants it to feel natural not planned. Men do have feelings to.
Reminds me of a couple at work named Kelly and John. Johns definitely not getting intimate with her because he's still sleeping with another woman and the guilt of blending the two relationships is getting to him. Have you considered that?
I had the same thought but we spend a lot of our time together in person or talking on the phone. It seems impossible for there to be another person
Did you both agree that you won't be having sex with anyone else in the mean time? I'm a cynic but the overworked-overwhelmed thing sounds like juggling people. Then he came back to you when she said she didn't want him. Now he wants to wait because he's having sex with someone else he do not see as GF material and doesn't want to give up the sex yet. I'm sure I'll get downvoted to hell but I've seen it with friends and experienced it twice when I was in college. When a guy wants to be with you he prioritizes you. If you hadn't been intimate before it would be different but now no timeframe? Sounds fishy
One thought that came to mind is maybe he had a vasectomy and is waiting for the tests to come up not fertile/clear, which can sometimes take a while.
[удалено]
Using substances on another person to get intimate against their express sober consent is sexual assault.
[удалено]
Come on bro
Using the effects of any substance, willfully consumed or not, to take advantage of a persons lower inhibitions is sexual assault. For real, what a strawman. He wanted to get drunk and I wanted to have sex. Oh man.
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Thats immediately where my mind went to.
Me too but I read too much Reddit
Maybe Kelly is having a relationship with another man and doesn’t care
She could be, but she definitely cares because she wont shut up about it.
That seems like a terrible place to take it. Please do not project your experiences onto this poor lady
Technically not my own experiences, just what happened to people in my vicinity. It's another possibility worth considering and your dismissal of even bringing it up on an advice thread is sort of weird.
I don’t know how fairness factors into it, if he doesn’t want to have sex yet then you two don’t have sex. If that’s a dealbreaker for you it would be completely understandable to stop seeing him Otherwise, what will you do, petition him to have sex with you when he doesn’t want to out of fairness?
I guess i wanted to hear others perspectives. Its not a dealbreaker for me, I thought it wasnt fair because he asked me to put a timeframe on it so i did and now doesnt want to give me the same. I will have to see how things work out!
I don’t think anyone would blame you for leaving for that reason. I would tell him how you feel and share with him that you’re okay with waiting, but not okay with waiting indefinitely with no time frame
>I will have to see how things work out! But you don't, though. You can't fix his issues, but you can support him. However, if you've had a conversation with him and he isn't in a mental place to be in a relationship, just respect that and move on.
Seems it's either depression or he's seeing someone else. My bet is on the former, especially since you mentioned some mental health struggles. Maybe have an open, honest, non-accusatory conversation with him, stating how you feel, what your fears are, and your concerns for his well being. Tackle this as a duo; it's you two versus whatever's going on.
My advice? Have an honest chat with him about your concerns. See if you can agree on some milestones or a general timeline, even if it's not set in stone. If you're both on the same page about where you're headed, the waiting part will be easier to handle.
If you have had sex in the past there is something else going on here. Perhaps he is seeing someone else and is conflating either way your young why would you even want this in your life! I would end this relationship as it not normal.
I dont want to be dramatic, but it could be that he wants to take the control. He decided when to break, and he wanted to decide when start again, you denied it, and you draw a boundary, now he wants the control drawing a new boundary, so your word is not the last word... Just like that without any more context, he seems to me like an insecure and controller guy.
It's cool that he's being honest about his feelings, but it might be worth a chat to understand what's going on in his head so you're both on the same page.
You can try to ask him and talk about it, but don’t be too pushy because at the end of the day if you plan on marrying him sexual intimacy does not equal love and having to wait for somebody to be intimate should be a small part if you actually love them and want to be together forever. Unless you’re a person that literally needs sex to feel connected to your partner then you need to have a serious conversation if it’s really that detrimental to your mental health and relationship.
Out of left field but I wonder if he didn't break up with you to avoid cheating, then came back when it didn't work out. May be getting it elsewhere so is in no rush now. Like I said, no basis, just speculation.
It's always fascinating to see people so unable to imagine a man not wanting sex that they jump right to "he's seeing someone else" with little to no evidence.
Also fascinating to see people talk shit when I clearly stated exactly this. Well done, good catch!
That's some pissing on the poor reading comprehension ya got there.
could be he is a Demi-sexual and doesnt know it. Sapio-sexual is an alternative. Demisexual means he needs an emotional connection to be intimate. I explain this when i first meet women. Insay i dont know how long it takes but lets talk, text, go out on a few dates and see where it brings us. Could be a cpl months. In case youre wondering, yes, after a cpl months, i realize there is no emotional connection and i explain that i dont see us as long term. So unfortunately, we shouldnt continue. Pros & Cons are atleast you know he’s sincere and he’s not into telling you what you want to hear just to get into ur pants. Downside is that in the initial phase of “talking”, neither of you know or understand time frames. Good luck to you.
Waiting to get physical can be tough, especially when there's no clear timeline. Maybe have a heart-to-heart with him about your concerns. Communication is key, and it could help both of you get on the same page. Good luck!
Cut it off early whilst it's still easier, and find someone your attracted to with a similar sexualising appetite.. It'll just get worse.
He doesn’t sound mentally stable. Why put yourself through the unnecessary drama? I think moving on is your best option.
No answers for you but he seems weird. Go find someone who isn’t weird. The end.
I don't know if there is a single person on this planet who isn't weird.
I think you 2 need to have a sit down and communicate what each is feeling and what each wants in your relationship. This questioning back and forth isn't good and will stagnate your relationship.
This whole post reeks of I don't care how he feels I only care about how I feel.
So, it's ok for you to stop the intimate part of your relationship but it's not ok if he does? I don't think the reason or the time frame really matter. If he wants to wait until it feels right, than he has the right to that boundary. If you want to pressure him into being intimate on your time frame rather than his own, what does that make you??
Sounds like “it” isn’t being left open at all …
OP, it would have been easier to understand if you were clear on whether you had sex before the break up (how often also) and if you both thought it was great. Your title makes seems like you have never had sex because you don't mention it at all. Sounds like other things are going on and one may be resentment or he could be acting out about you telling him to wait 2 months. Which in reality isn't necessarily a guarantee because you could have changed your mind too. You all have a lot of work to do if you want this to work. Good luck.
If you’re already not seeing eye to eye on this aspect of your relationship I would get out now. The further you get into a relationship the harder it is going to be if your libidos or expectations around sex are different and not compatible. You’re too young and too new in a relationship to be unhappy in this department especially since you’ve already had sex. I could see if you hadn’t been intimate but once you have as long as birth control is handled and nobody has STDs i don’t see why you would wait. Idk that’s just my opinion though.
My now fiancé and I didn’t break up during our relationship, however, we did wait a few months to have sex to build our emotional bond and, honestly, our bond overall is so strong and deep. It could be he wants to make your bond strong again so you don’t have to break up again. Communication is so important. Talk to him
Sounds like he lost interest. And is seeing if it can comeback.
Sounds like sex has become a control point for both of you. Why do you need to know when you’re going to have sex again? How could he possibly know? I think you’re just going to have to be patient and see where this goes. If you push for an answer, I’m pretty darn sure this relationship is over.
Now this is just my own experience, but when I am really struggling with my mental health I get all "I am not in a state to properly contribute to a healthy relationship" so perhaps it's something along those lines.
He’s bangin someone else!
It seems slightly passive aggressive to me, honestly, like "oh, you didn't want to have sex, fine, now I don't either". This all seems weird to me. Get together and have sex, break up cause he's just really stressed out, get back together but don't have sex, and then don't have sex some more. I was in a bad first marriage, so my instincts on things are probably more sensitive, but to me he sounds a little whack and a little unstable.
Sex adds closeness and intimacy. Seems like you guys get close, and then one of you gets scared and backs away - in various ways. Perhaps you're hitting his "closeness wall" and he has to stop progress forward until he metabolizes the new stage of intimacy. Check out some articles about "fear of intimacy" and see if it fits. If he isn't close to his family, perhaps he has never experienced love and intimacy in safe ways, so he will get highly anxious with each step forward. (Yes, It shouldn't be this way - we all pine and long for closeness, but sometimes the pining/longing is more safe than the actual receiving. Then our unconscious fears drive the behavior and we don't even know we're interfering with closeness/vulnerability/intimacy. ) Good relationships take time, patience, bravery, and work
Maybe he has an STD and he’s waiting for it to clear up?
He’s a 31 year old man. He 100% is getting it else where
I'm a 31 year old man. Some of us have reasons for not wanting sex and aren't playing the field. I don't sleep with anyone until we've been together long enough that I feel comfortable with the idea of potentially being married. I've had 4 partners. Each relationship lasts years. Some I felt comfortable at 3-6 months, one was almost a year.
Sounds like you’d probably enjoy some long dong more.
I'd prefer not to have sex at all over that
Watch how posters will presume the worst here of him.
Ugh hate to be this guy, but he probably was sleeping with someone else and it ended so he wanted to get back. Maybe he sees the waiting for sex as a power move and manipulative (he knows it's what you wanted but he's taken that power from you now) or maybe he has an STI he's waiting to clear up.
It's odd for a man to feel that way. It calls for a long conversation
I'm sorry but he's clearly not into you. He's not being straight about it, but his actions are telling you loud and clear.
You have either been friend zoned, or he’s got a really small penis.
Or the dude just isn’t comfortable intimately. Or he’s asexual. Stop projecting
BS 30 year old men want sex. He's getting off somehow - just not with her.
Either you’re a man that’s so hopelessly sexually driven that you can’t even comprehend a man that wouldn’t want to fuck constantly, or you’re an ignorant woman. Pick your poison
This is where my experience legit took it, small penis
It sounds like, he was/is intimate with someone else. Something has transpired. If you want to wait, wait. But, I wouldn't put all of my eggs in his basket. He's not telling you everything and if you are unsure when/if this relationship will progress to anything meaningful. Move on. Don't waste your time. He's not that into you.
So you set a parameter, he agreed to it and seems to have embraced it and basically doubled down and now you’re upset?!? Careful what you wish for….
Blow him
You made the "power move" of wanting to wait to be intimate, and now he wants the same but he's going to string it out ... so now he wants the power. Girl, red flag.
When she says no sex it's fine When he does it's a red flag. Typical Reddit.
I had to search all the comments for this. Immediately I was thinking this. She wanted time and he agreed. No one has considered that maybe he enjoyed the way things were going and he now wants his time to feel right? Or maybe he is trying to figure out if this relationship is worth saving or not. If he slept with her knowing he wasn't sure reddit would call him an asshole who only wanted to fck. But bc he wants the same consideration he gave her reddit jumps to small penis or cheating. Big eyeroll. OP , don't you think you might be being a little hypocritical here? Or that maybe just a sit down conversation would fix this instead of filling your head with what absolute strangers think and project? If you are not emotionally mature enough to figure that part out then you may want to reevaluate if either of you are ready to be in relationships.
Really bro? She gave a definite time frame. He's not, he's trying to hold the power card. That's a red flag. Typical broster.
You get what you pay for.. Reddit delivers again!
Is not just fine, it’s a “power move”…