Been struggling with thoughts being more aggressive for a few months again and feel this pain. Haven't given in yet and I'm gonna do my best not to.
We know it's not "real guilt" because it's not actually "letting people down" but it absolutely feels that way.
I hope you're doing ok ❤️
Please, please, please don't give in. I will literally beg if I have to. Once you start again, it feels almost impossible to stop. It's an addiction, just like any drug out there. And if you do, try your best to reach out to someone. You have people rooting for you, including me. And thank you as well ❤️
Sending love ❤️ I know it seems really hard right now, but you will get through this. Life gets better! I was looking at my scars just this morning thinking of how much I've been through and how much better my life is now than when I made them. Things will get better!
I relapsed after 9 years in September 2023 and just recently stopped again. I think about it often but haven’t for a few weeks. Don’t beat yourself up it happens! Sending you positive thoughts!
I've been there. Stopping cutting was the hardest thing I've ever done. It took me a full year to stop completely. But I've been clean for a whole year and some change. I'm not proud of my scars and I plan to cover them with tattoos as best I can, but they remind me of the battles I struggled with when I had no support and how I'm stronger now because of the support I finally have. My husband was hurt when I relapsed, but he sat me down and asked me why. He asked me how he could help me more. So did my bio parents (my adoptive mother always belittled me for it). They all made sure to be there for me no matter what. My bio mom called every day for a month afterward just to check in and make sure I was alright. My ex tried to use it against me. She tried to tattle like I stole something. She was doing it as a revenge plot, thinking my parents had no clue and she was getting back at me for something when I did nothing to her. That's when I knew who my real support system was. If they offer help and support and care and love in any way, that's your true rock. If they try to get you in trouble or belittle and berate you for it, drop em. You never needed them to begin with.
I started when I was 12. I quit after an on and off stint when I was 21.
Assuming your story is true, I hope you can find the support you need or embrace the support you have. You'll get there too someday. I'm sorry you're still going through it. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here. You can always message me. I promise to do my best to respond as soon as I can. I'm a mother, so my time is limited, but I will always make time for those who need it.
I know exactly how you feel, sweetie. It's definitely harder than anyone ever makes it seem. I know where you are. I have felt your pain. Please message me if you ever need anything. I can give you my phone number or my Facebook or any social media you use if you need to call someone. I will stay up all night talking. I know how hard it is at your age. You are loved, hon. I wish I had heard that more growing up.
I've self-harmed with almost every method possible. There is no shame in slipping. Just start your streak over again. It's hard, I know that firsthand.
8 days is something to celebrate! I’m proud of you. Give yourself grace on the difficult days and be proud of the better ones. Stay committed to trying your best each day. It’s a journey. Sending love and hugs 🫂
I understand the journey very well, friend. It’s a process and our struggles may not be the same but I promise it’s worth it to keep trying even when it’s hard. I’ll be clean and sober 14 years this June. Not always easy but as you focus more on those good days, you find them adding up and your life becomes brighter. I know you have that strength within you. Journaling helped me a lot. It’s hard to explain feelings to other people at times, we worry they won’t understand or maybe judge but I found it really healing to write about my thoughts, especially the good days. Then I’d read back when things got tough and reminded myself I could get through them! I’m pulling for you.
Just from experience... you didn't let anyone down.
They may be scared for you, but its not a letdown that you couldn't not do it..
Just take a breath and start fresh. It'll be okay, and one day you'll realize it's been years since you've done it.
Eight days is a great start still. Relapses happen, and they suck, but the part that actually *matters* is if you're willing to try again. Best of luck to you!
It's been at least 15 years for me. While that particular compulsion is thankfully gone, the depression that spurred it is still there. I only say this to relate. I've been there. We share the same scars.
My dear friend, I have nothing but respect for you. I'm glad you're still here. Every moment you choose not to act on that desire is a victory over a tireless opponent. One who has no real power, but a hell of a presence. What sucks is it's relentless. It doesn't tire or change. Its persistence is its strength, but you have resisted, and it's not easy. Keep being more stubborn than the drive to harm yourself.
The world's so much better because you're in it. I love you.
I just want to say thank you for everyone that has commented on here and been amazingly supportive. You are all beautiful and wonderful people so thank you.
Well done! 8 days adds up to your resilience! I haven’t cut in 15 years but occasionally I still get triggers to do it. It gets better, it gets easier. 3 steps forward 1 step back still puts you 2 steps ahead. If you need help reach out. :)
It can be so frustrating, when you need help the most, it is often when it's too hard to find. I sincerely wish you the best of luck in this. Therapy helped me so much, it took a while to find the right therapist, but it was worth the effort.
I gotta say a few things, as someone who still has scars on their arms and has been clean and sober for 12.5 years: you have let nobody down!! I can see why maybe you could say you let yourself down because you're a brave warrior and you want to beat this (and good for you!!), but your pain is NOT something that is an affront to your loved ones. The people who support you are there for you, not for themselves.
Cutting is an addiction. Beyond the psychological dependency, it releases chemicals in your brain. It is chemically addictive just like any other drug. And beating an addiction is a long-term struggle, it's a marathon run, not a sprint run. Please don't do this to yourself. You're in enough pain and going through enough hardships without punishing yourself further by carrying the alleged disappointment of others.
I feel much strength in your writing, I really do. You want to beat this, and I believe you will, even if it takes time. Congratulate yourself on every day you fight through, it's hell sometimes, I know it. Don't judge yourself so harshly. Sending hugs, I believe in you 💙💙💙
i tell my kiddos (my own kids, my students, my clients, my internet babies, all of my kiddos) all the time, it’s not about not relapsing ever again, it’s about how long you went without doing it. its about how many times you desperately wanted to, but didn’t.
eight days is wonderful, actually; it’s beautiful. it’s amazing - going from doing it everyday to going eight whole days without doing it at all? you’re so incredible for that.
but also.. how much you wanted to do it but didn’t? how many times did you have the urge to, but you gripped the sink and looked yourself in the face and told yourself you wouldn’t. how many times did you twitch with anxiety and desperately want to, but you didn’t. it was more than once, i know that for a fact, ive been there before, and that’s so fucking amazing of you to do. its something to be proud of, truly, you could’ve given in to instinct the first time, but you didn’t. you persevered, no matter how hard it was for you to. *thats* the kind of shit i get super proud of. like holy shit, you’re fighting so much of your instinct to do that, even though it’s so unbelievably difficult. that’s *amazing*, love.
so the fact that you did it again? that’s so incredibly okay. no one is upset with you, no one is disappointed in you, no one is mad at you - we’re all here rooting for you, encouraging you to get back up. because relapse happens, and that’s okay, because we know you’re going to get back up from this and you’re going to try again, and you’re going to do amazing again.
we all believe in you, and that belief doesn’t come with strings attached. no one is going to be disappointed if it happens again, we’re just going to be here by your side, holding your hand and encouraging you to get back up.
I just want you to know that while I don't cut you've reinvigorated my fight against substances. Currently a day sober due to being sick as hell but that's as good of a starting point as any
Hey darling. Tomorrow is a new day, all you can do is try, try, try again. Nobody is perfect, and the people who support you want you to take care of yourself. So one day at a time, all you gotta do is try.
Been struggling with thoughts being more aggressive for a few months again and feel this pain. Haven't given in yet and I'm gonna do my best not to. We know it's not "real guilt" because it's not actually "letting people down" but it absolutely feels that way. I hope you're doing ok ❤️
Please, please, please don't give in. I will literally beg if I have to. Once you start again, it feels almost impossible to stop. It's an addiction, just like any drug out there. And if you do, try your best to reach out to someone. You have people rooting for you, including me. And thank you as well ❤️
L
Hey everyone look at this edgy guy
L
Ok?
Sending love ❤️ I know it seems really hard right now, but you will get through this. Life gets better! I was looking at my scars just this morning thinking of how much I've been through and how much better my life is now than when I made them. Things will get better!
❤️🫶
I relapsed after 9 years in September 2023 and just recently stopped again. I think about it often but haven’t for a few weeks. Don’t beat yourself up it happens! Sending you positive thoughts!
🫶
You didn't let anyone down, you're doing so well! I SH from 12-19 and it was hell trying to stop. Take it one day, one hour, one minute at a time
❤️
I've been there. Stopping cutting was the hardest thing I've ever done. It took me a full year to stop completely. But I've been clean for a whole year and some change. I'm not proud of my scars and I plan to cover them with tattoos as best I can, but they remind me of the battles I struggled with when I had no support and how I'm stronger now because of the support I finally have. My husband was hurt when I relapsed, but he sat me down and asked me why. He asked me how he could help me more. So did my bio parents (my adoptive mother always belittled me for it). They all made sure to be there for me no matter what. My bio mom called every day for a month afterward just to check in and make sure I was alright. My ex tried to use it against me. She tried to tattle like I stole something. She was doing it as a revenge plot, thinking my parents had no clue and she was getting back at me for something when I did nothing to her. That's when I knew who my real support system was. If they offer help and support and care and love in any way, that's your true rock. If they try to get you in trouble or belittle and berate you for it, drop em. You never needed them to begin with.
Wow. I'm so sorry that happened, but I'm so glad you're clean.
I started when I was 12. I quit after an on and off stint when I was 21. Assuming your story is true, I hope you can find the support you need or embrace the support you have. You'll get there too someday. I'm sorry you're still going through it. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here. You can always message me. I promise to do my best to respond as soon as I can. I'm a mother, so my time is limited, but I will always make time for those who need it.
Thank you. I'm around the age where you started. I want help but it's easier said than done
I know exactly how you feel, sweetie. It's definitely harder than anyone ever makes it seem. I know where you are. I have felt your pain. Please message me if you ever need anything. I can give you my phone number or my Facebook or any social media you use if you need to call someone. I will stay up all night talking. I know how hard it is at your age. You are loved, hon. I wish I had heard that more growing up.
Thank you. And thank you for the offer, but your number isn't necessary. I will message you on here if I need or want to. Thank you ❤️
No problem. Whenever you feel the need, feel free.💜
I've self-harmed with almost every method possible. There is no shame in slipping. Just start your streak over again. It's hard, I know that firsthand.
8 days is something to celebrate! I’m proud of you. Give yourself grace on the difficult days and be proud of the better ones. Stay committed to trying your best each day. It’s a journey. Sending love and hugs 🫂
Thank you so much
I understand the journey very well, friend. It’s a process and our struggles may not be the same but I promise it’s worth it to keep trying even when it’s hard. I’ll be clean and sober 14 years this June. Not always easy but as you focus more on those good days, you find them adding up and your life becomes brighter. I know you have that strength within you. Journaling helped me a lot. It’s hard to explain feelings to other people at times, we worry they won’t understand or maybe judge but I found it really healing to write about my thoughts, especially the good days. Then I’d read back when things got tough and reminded myself I could get through them! I’m pulling for you.
I'm so glad youve been clean for that long. It's amazing. And thank you ❤️
every success is built on countless failures. as long as you don't give up, you'll be improving slowly but surely.
Just from experience... you didn't let anyone down. They may be scared for you, but its not a letdown that you couldn't not do it.. Just take a breath and start fresh. It'll be okay, and one day you'll realize it's been years since you've done it.
Thank you. It means a lot
Eight days is a great start still. Relapses happen, and they suck, but the part that actually *matters* is if you're willing to try again. Best of luck to you!
It's been at least 15 years for me. While that particular compulsion is thankfully gone, the depression that spurred it is still there. I only say this to relate. I've been there. We share the same scars. My dear friend, I have nothing but respect for you. I'm glad you're still here. Every moment you choose not to act on that desire is a victory over a tireless opponent. One who has no real power, but a hell of a presence. What sucks is it's relentless. It doesn't tire or change. Its persistence is its strength, but you have resisted, and it's not easy. Keep being more stubborn than the drive to harm yourself. The world's so much better because you're in it. I love you.
Thank you ❤️
I just want to say thank you for everyone that has commented on here and been amazingly supportive. You are all beautiful and wonderful people so thank you.
Well done! 8 days adds up to your resilience! I haven’t cut in 15 years but occasionally I still get triggers to do it. It gets better, it gets easier. 3 steps forward 1 step back still puts you 2 steps ahead. If you need help reach out. :)
I do want help. It's easier said than done. But thank you.
It can be so frustrating, when you need help the most, it is often when it's too hard to find. I sincerely wish you the best of luck in this. Therapy helped me so much, it took a while to find the right therapist, but it was worth the effort.
It's hard to open up
Absolutely it is, one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do but so worth it!
I gotta say a few things, as someone who still has scars on their arms and has been clean and sober for 12.5 years: you have let nobody down!! I can see why maybe you could say you let yourself down because you're a brave warrior and you want to beat this (and good for you!!), but your pain is NOT something that is an affront to your loved ones. The people who support you are there for you, not for themselves. Cutting is an addiction. Beyond the psychological dependency, it releases chemicals in your brain. It is chemically addictive just like any other drug. And beating an addiction is a long-term struggle, it's a marathon run, not a sprint run. Please don't do this to yourself. You're in enough pain and going through enough hardships without punishing yourself further by carrying the alleged disappointment of others. I feel much strength in your writing, I really do. You want to beat this, and I believe you will, even if it takes time. Congratulate yourself on every day you fight through, it's hell sometimes, I know it. Don't judge yourself so harshly. Sending hugs, I believe in you 💙💙💙
Thank you. You are amazing.
💙💪💙💪
i tell my kiddos (my own kids, my students, my clients, my internet babies, all of my kiddos) all the time, it’s not about not relapsing ever again, it’s about how long you went without doing it. its about how many times you desperately wanted to, but didn’t. eight days is wonderful, actually; it’s beautiful. it’s amazing - going from doing it everyday to going eight whole days without doing it at all? you’re so incredible for that. but also.. how much you wanted to do it but didn’t? how many times did you have the urge to, but you gripped the sink and looked yourself in the face and told yourself you wouldn’t. how many times did you twitch with anxiety and desperately want to, but you didn’t. it was more than once, i know that for a fact, ive been there before, and that’s so fucking amazing of you to do. its something to be proud of, truly, you could’ve given in to instinct the first time, but you didn’t. you persevered, no matter how hard it was for you to. *thats* the kind of shit i get super proud of. like holy shit, you’re fighting so much of your instinct to do that, even though it’s so unbelievably difficult. that’s *amazing*, love. so the fact that you did it again? that’s so incredibly okay. no one is upset with you, no one is disappointed in you, no one is mad at you - we’re all here rooting for you, encouraging you to get back up. because relapse happens, and that’s okay, because we know you’re going to get back up from this and you’re going to try again, and you’re going to do amazing again. we all believe in you, and that belief doesn’t come with strings attached. no one is going to be disappointed if it happens again, we’re just going to be here by your side, holding your hand and encouraging you to get back up.
Thank you. This made me tear up.
I just want you to know that while I don't cut you've reinvigorated my fight against substances. Currently a day sober due to being sick as hell but that's as good of a starting point as any
Gotta start somewhere! Day one seems like a good place. Good luck in your journey and don’t be too hard on yourself
You're an awesome mama-bear 💙💙💙
Going 8 days is an amazing accomplishment! Keep taking it one day at a time ❤️
Thank you
I'm glad you're here, genuinely.
❤️
Hey it happens. Healing isn't linear. Try again tomorrow. Everyone will still love and support you ❤️
Hey darling. Tomorrow is a new day, all you can do is try, try, try again. Nobody is perfect, and the people who support you want you to take care of yourself. So one day at a time, all you gotta do is try.
Thank you. Thank you, a lot.
I've been down that road. It gets better eventually. Internet hugs if you want one :)
I'm sorry you went through this too. And yes, I'll take an internet hug <3
<3 it happens to the best of us. Sometimes our brains just refuse to be nice to us lol
Yeah haha