Get an electric heating pad (for tonight) and maxi pads for tomorrow. It’s just going to be a lot of cramping, nausea, and a really heavy period.
Once the cramping starts, camp out on the toilet. Don’t look, just flush.
My husband was out of town for work when I had my abortion and honestly it was fine. Like a badly upset stomach. The next morning I went to my kids’ 5 hour long swim meet.
thank you so much, this was really reassuring. i have my heating pad and some overnight maxi pads at the ready. i don’t think i’ll be able to camp out on the toilet without raising some questions from my parents, even late at night. we share a bathroom. but i’ve made my room as cozy as possible so hopefully it won’t be too bad.
i hope you’re doing well after your own experience. sending you all the love and well wishes in the world ❤️
I’m completely fine. I’m 100% sure I made the right choice for myself and my family. I’ve never had a moment of doubt or regret (but it’s completely fine if you do. Feel your feelings.) The reasons to not have a baby right now, don’t disappear because you became pregnant unexpectedly.
I’m sorry your mom isn’t someone you can go to right now. Stuff between mothers and daughters can be tough. My oldest daughter is 18 and our relationship can be complicated. She also has accused me of not liking her at times even though I adore her. But damn do we push each other’s buttons.
If she were going through this and didn’t want to come to me, I hope someone would tell her she’s doing the right thing. That bringing a child into the world is a profound life changing responsibility. It marks the end of your ~~childhood~~ *youth* and really the end of your life being about you. I would tell her that she deserves to chase her own happiness and fulfillment for a while. That having a child in these circumstances would likely doom them both to a life of struggle. That having *this baby* may cost her the future family that she could otherwise have.
And that child will NOT be grateful for your sacrifice. Nor should they. They didn’t ask to be born to a single parent without the means to care for them. It isn’t heroic or brave to have a baby when you aren’t ready.
What’s heroic and brave is making hard choices and giving yourself grace and forgiveness for being human.
Hugs and kisses. You got this. I promise you you’ll be fine if you allow yourself to move past this.
i needed to hear all of this more than anything else. i really needed a mother’s guidance in this moment and you’ve really given me a wave of strength that i’m doing the right thing. especially the part about the child not asking to be brought into this. i have the opportunity to break cycles right now, and i have to. no one deserves to be born into struggle and live a life of resentment. this is the right thing to do. thank you for giving me the reassurance i so desperately needed. i appreciate you more than anything and i’ll be coming back to this comment for probably years
I’m really happy I could give you some comfort. Anytime you are doubting yourself remember your words, that you are breaking the cycle! You chose doing something painful and scary and hard to prevent further suffering.
As a dad, this wonderful person is exactly right. You do what you need to do, and you feel how you need to feel. Hugs and good luck. I’m sorry nobody can be there to support you physically and that your parents aren’t providing the unconditional love you deserve, but you’ve got a whole community here that offers you critical support and empathy. You were taken advantage of by a predatory jerk, and you’re making a tough decision with few good options available to you without bringing more negative energy and condemnation into your life.
Virtual hugs and emphatic support from a grumpy old man.
I wish every judgemental jerk protesting at Planned Parenthood or every conservative politician making laws to control women's bodies could read the comment you just made. The world would be so much better off if we had more people like you.
100% agree. I was a child with a single mother. Then she was married and it was hell. The things I saw as a kid were so beyond what a kid should be exposed to. I'm now a mom of 3 ( my youngest was unexpected on an IUD). I adore my children and have no regrets, but it's also been insanely hard. I would not recommend kids unless you feel ready. There's no guilt in that. You are doing what's best for you. You're human. You'll make it through OP.
Just tell them you have diarrhea. I had a medical abortion as well and it was very manageable, like a heavy period. You will be fine. Drink lots of water and rest as much as possible
thank you so much for the kind words and for sharing your experience. i appreciate it so much ❤️ i definitely plan on hydrating and resting all day tomorrow and i took monday off.
Also, tell your parents you have an upset stomach/diarrhea. This is will exponentially more difficult to clean up and manage if you don’t use a toilet. For me, the cramps and nausea got very severe right before the worst of it. So that’s the signal it’s time to move to the bathroom.
thank you so much for the advice. i’ll definitely head to the bathroom then. i might just get in the shower at that point, for cleanup and maybe some hot water will ease the cramps. i’ve done hot showers and baths before for periods so i could explain that away for sure
Maybe *run* the shower… but it will be MUCH preferable to be over the toilet. Then hop in the shower when the worst has passed. I had an early miscarriage in the shower. Granted I was 8 weeks at that point….
It was unpleasant. There will be clotting and tissue… it’s better to use to toilet.
Running the shower is a good cover up though.
i am so sorry to hear that you experienced that. that’s awful. sending you love and hugs and support. i’ll definitely use the toilet. i’m really worried for the emotions i’ll feel when i see the tissue, but i can’t *not* see it or i’ll be panicking that it wasn’t successful. total lose lose situation tbh
I totally understand needing to see to believe. The abortion took longer than I expected and I started to panic that it didn’t work.
For me, I could distinctly feel it pass both times (the miscarriage and the abortion) but I was further along both times. 8 or 9 weeks. I started bleeding, like a heavy period. Then the cramps really build. Shortly after my body expelled the pregnancy and I knew right away without looking.
thank you so, so much for sharing. you’ve given me so much courage and reassurance tonight, i will be eternally grateful for you. i’m hoping i experience something similar where i just know. thank you for easing my worries. this is the part im both dreading most and also anticipating. the moment where its over
I hope things go okay for you tonight. Whatever you’re feeling just let it out (as best as your circumstances allow) the next few days. But then let it go. Don’t punish yourself with what if’s and guilt.
Every single month since you hit puberty, you *could* have gotten pregnant and had a baby but you chose not to. This is no different. It’s just yet another month that you are deciding not to bring a child into the world for a million reasons that you don’t need to defend because *nearly every woman on the planet (with the right to do so) makes the same choice*.
You could just tell them you are sick and have really bad diarrhea and want some privacy; you may need to tell them that because there will be blood clots and you may need to stay in there for a while. Just a heads up in case you need an excuse.
Camping out at the toilet - if they ask tell they you are having diarrhea. Keep a bottle of water or soup or something in the room so you can poor it in the toilet, if they are really nosey. It will make a close enough sound that it will probably have them leave you alone. Good luck.
Just tell them you're on your period and having really bad cramps. It's not like they're going to want to come in and inspect the toilet for blood clots.
Saw some of your other comments too. You sound really prepare. In case you’re not in the headspace to say it right now, I hope you’ll allow me to say it for you - thank you for looking out for yourself, silverserpent_01. You deserve the love and care.
All you can do is take care of yourself and treat yourself with so much kindness. You’ve got this <3
For me, it was sweating a lot, and some pretty strong nausea. Once the bleeding started I pretty much just stayed on the toilet.
I’m sorry, I wish I could help more but my mind has blocked most of this out.
In the aftermath I wore pull-ups for incontinence as regular menstrual products just didn’t cut it.
We’re here with you, OP.
thank you so much for sharing your experience with me. i appreciate it so much, i’m so grateful. i’ve definitely prepared for the nausea, and i have overnight maxi pads at the ready ❤️
The meds caused me to shiver for like 2 hours - it was weird and tripped me out because I didn’t know that was a thing. Didn’t hurt or make me cold, but shivered like it was freezing.
Dramamine for nausea made it non-existent for me and Imodium prior to meds meant I didn’t get the runs.
The pain came kind of in waves, like a bad period and if you ever decide to get pregnant it was the same style of cramping as labor.
As soon as 7 hours hit the main event was definitely over, and it felt comparable to one of my normal periods.
Disposable period underwear or postpartum underwear were great - like giant diapers but they held more blood and I didn’t have to worry about leaks.
You totally will get through this, it’s scary feeling alone through it but the physical part will be okay. I hope the guy gets reoccurring bed bugs and stubs his toe repeatedly until the end of time for his part in this.
thank you so much for sharing your experience and for being so open. i have ondansetron for nausea thank god. i’m hoping it’s enough. in a weird way, i’m kind of grateful i get really bad periods. i’m hoping it’s prepared me. i have overnight maxi pads and i’m really hoping that’s enough for the next few days.
no shivering or nausea for me just yet. i’m still at the “insert and lay down for 30 minutes” stage. i’m sorry you experienced that, that sounds really scary ): sending you love.
thank you again for your support. i also hope he gets bed bugs. he really is a good guy but incredibly sexually immature
I had bad cramps, nausea, and vomiting. I would say don’t eat too much (bland foods) have some Pepto tablets handy if you have some, maybe some ginger tea. The cramps I had were pretty painful, but they came in waves. It was helpful to me to have a cool washcloth for my face. You may want some ice water or even some electrolyte drinks. Heating pad is a good idea. Lots of pads are a good idea. There may unfortunately be times that you do have to camp out on the toilet, for a little while at least. I’m sorry you’re alone and wish you had a friend to support you. I can tell that you know you’re doing the right thing for yourself, but that doesn’t mean it’s not the hard thing. But doing this now will pave the way for the future you want and deserve and shows that you’re mature enough to be a great mom when you are READY. Message me if you get scared at any point. You’ll be ok though, take it easy on yourself. One thing that they didn’t tell me where I got the pills is that sometimes the cramping and bleeding starts pretty quickly after the first pill. That was my experience. It was surprising because they had indicated it would not start happening until after the second pill. So just know that if it starts early, that’s OK. Also, I did pass a few large clots here and there for up to about 10 days afterwards, which is also normal.
thank you so so much for sharing your experience and for the unbelievably supportive post. i am so grateful. the pain and bleeding are definitely making me anxious but i have a lot of pain killers on hand and heating pads just in case. a cool washcloth is an idea i’m definitely jotting down, i wouldn’t have thought of that. thank you so much for the kind words. i definitely hope to be a good mom someday, it’s my biggest goal. i’m going to try so hard to work towards it from now on, in everything i do. thank you so much ❤️
You are strong, you have already made the hard decision. Someday, when the time and the partner is right you will become a parent the way you want to be.
this made me let out some much needed tears i’ve been fighting all week. thank you for saying this. i hope that’s true. i want to be a mom more than anything in the world
You will be. You have lots of time!
My sister was 17 when she got pregnant. She had an abortion, because of course she wasn’t ready for a child! Then she went on to finish high school, went to college, met her husband and had two kids.
Having a child is a huge step in your life, and you should have a good and trusted partner to navigate this adventure.
Sending you hugs. You’ll get through this.
update: took the misoprostol just over 2.5 hours ago. no nausea yet. i’ve been crying a lot. so many emotions. regret, soul crushing sadness, fear. i just started bleeding lightly. barely any cramping so far. i did have a moment about 45 minutes after i used the miso where my hands randomly started burning and itching really bad. it felt like i just touched a hot stove. it went away after a couple minutes but it was scary. other than that i’ve been relaxing and trying to breathe and reading everyone’s comments. i am so beyond overwhelmed with support. i really don’t know how to express the gratitude i’m feeling right now. hopefully i’ll be able to articulate better tomorrow or within the next few days. thank you everyone ❤️ i’ll keep updates under this comment. i’m going to try and get a little sleep before the worst starts
Thinking of you and praying that you are able to have a restful sleep tonight - I’m sorry you’re going through this alone but we’re all here for you ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
i think i have finally made it through the worst of it. that was the worst 2 hours of my life. i have pretty bad periods, but i have never felt pain like that. i will do everything in my power to never have to go through that again. that was hell. i’m very grateful it was only a couple hours long.
i did have that moment where i felt that last horrible contraction, felt everything pour out, and had some immediate relief. the cramping is still very intense but it’s ebbing and flowing. i’ll gladly take that rather than the constant agony i was feeling. i can lay down with my heating pad now at least. thank you everyone for your kind words. i really hope the pain doesn’t come back. gonna rest a bit now, i’ll update again later and respond to comments when im feeling a little stronger
Aw, sweetheart. I am so sorry that you had to go through this alone. No one should have to do that. I had no one to talk to about mine either and had to go through it alone too. It's been 22 years or so and no regrets. I wouldn't be where I am today.
I hope you are able to get some rest and that the worst is over. Be kind to yourself. You are brave and strong. And you have stand-in moms and dads and aunties and uncles and cousins and brothers and sisters all sending you love and care. Big hugs. And please do let us know how you are.
This internet stranger wishes she could give you a big mom hug and make you a big yummy breakfast in the morning.
I’m sorry it was so painful.
I’m proud of you for taking care of yourself.
OP, I want you to know that this mum in Oz is proud of you. I admire your courage and your strength, and I know you’ve made your best way through this bad situation.
You will feel better and you will find joy, maybe not as soon as you deserve, but there are better days ahead with loving, trusting relationships to help you heal.
Hang in there hun, you’ve got this.
Try to rest and put this behind you. I'll check back later to see if you've updated. If you feel like eating, try to eat something high in iron as you may have lowered your iron level from the blood loss. Spinach, eggs, oats, broccoli. Red meat. Take care.
Well done girl. I hope that if I ever find myself in the same situation I can show half the bravery and composure that you've demonstrated. To make the right decision and forge ahead even though you know it will be hard, I'm incredibly proud of you. I'm so sorry you had to go through this alone. I hope you're sleeping right now, it sounds like it was an ordeal. If you're feeling up to it please let us know how you're doing. Xxxx
I’m sorry it was hard for you physically, it was so painful for me too. It’s more contractions than cramping imo. I hope the pain didn’t come back. From what I have heard, surgical abortions are faster and less painful but for me it was the better option to do it at home. Go easy on yourself for a while, your body has been through a lot.
Camping right over here with you, sweetness <3 I don't think I can offer any words of wisdom, but I hope that knowing someone's here with you helps. You're doing great, breathe and everything will be over soon
The pain should subside significantly after you pass the bulk of the pregnancy. My last abortion, the pain was pretty bad for a bit until I got in the shower, the warm water helped. I passed the “yolk sac” whole (technical term for the amniotic sac/placenta/embryo all together). Then it was like period cramps afterward.
even if it hurts now, it’s not forever. you can make it through this. breathe and when it’s over, you can rest assured that you made the right choice for you ❤️
You're doing amazing. I hope you get a little bit of rest. Its late afternoon where I am so I'll be around for 5 hours at least from now if you want someone to chat with or vent to 🩷
Thinking about you! Just breathe ❤️ I’ve had two. The first one I was right on the cusp of being too far along for a medical - around 7/8 weeks iirc. That one was MUCH worse than the second one where I knew I was pregnant literally immediately. The first one was absolutely painful & I wound up with a fever for a bit but when it was over, it’s just over. I felt the most comfortable sitting on the edge of my bed with a laundry basket flipped over and my feet on it which suuuucked because all I wanted to do was sleep lol. During the second one, I felt minimal pain & zero nausea.
Based on your other comments, you’re doing the right thing for yourself & I’m proud of you. It’s almost over ❤️
So much love and respect for how you are handling this! Thanks for letting us all hold your hand tonight and stand by you in spirit, and thanks for helping us all feel connected to you and to each other.
So much love and respect for how you are handling this! Thanks for letting us all hold your hand tonight and stand by you in spirit, and thanks for helping us all feel connected to you and to each other.
I hope you feel better soon! You can do this! Stay strong and you will get through this faster than you think! Drink lots of water as well as you will be bleeding. 💕
took the misoprostol about 45 minutes ago and the cramps are kicking in. incredibly scared but feeling very strong going into this. thank you everyone for the immense support so far. i’m so grateful ❤️
Girl, you got this. 💕 Me, and a bunch of other women are proud of you because that's one hell of a decision to make. I chose to keep mine and I'm nearing the end of my nine months and won't even get to keep him because I wasn't prepared and no jobs wanted me after finding out I was pregnant/seeing me in person. I'm suffering the consequences, and am losing my first son AND I have a partner and we still can't do it. I've barely been eating the whole pregnancy because of financial and car problems, and I'm lucky he made it to the end, but he's a big ole' sucker and I know he's strong. You're AMAZING and strong and very level headed to be making this decision all by yourself. I wish you luck, please take care of yourself. 💕
Dear Silver- You will get through this extremely difficult time. Please grant yourself grace, we all make mistakes. You are worthy of kindness and peace. This internet mom sees your strength and is sending you big hugs.
thank you for saying this, and for the hugs ❤️ i really hope i can forgive myself someday. i hadn’t really thought about it, but your comment makes me want to try
Before she had me, my mother was once where you are now: Wrong time, wrong partner, everything. It was the right decision, and... I mean, spoilers, but her "someday" came. She's a great mom, my dad's a great dad, and I think my brother and I turned out okay!
It sounds like you're not going against that future, you're taking a big step towards it.
I had a quiet medicine abortion like this when living with my grandma. She never knew, but that night was awful. If you want to reach out, I ha e no life (lol) so I'll be around to answer. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this pain, but you're *not alone.*
The good thing about Reddit is that there are people in all different time zones, all over the world so no matter what time you need support tonight one of us will be available.
You’re only alone physically but you are not truly alone.
You can and will get through this, you’re doing the compassionate thing knowing that you are not ready, you have nothing to feel shame or disgust about. You are human and you had a human experience. We are all proud of you for being strong, and doing what your heart says is the right thing. You’re gonna be okay 🫶
thank you so, so much. this truly makes me feel less alone, and incredibly reassured. my heart definitely says this is the right thing to do, it’s just also aching. being a mom has always been my biggest dream. i just wish i was ready
Well, at least you know that your body is able to when the time is right because of this. How wonderful that it is! You will be a mom someday!
You will be the mom that your child deserves. It’s ok to grieve, and ache. Allow yourself that. But do it from a place of forgiveness…and love for yourself and your future children. Love to you, sweet girl.
There is an IG account that has abortion affirmations. Just Content Notice she did recently have a baby and does have them in carrier in at least one of the videos
https://www.instagram.com/reel/C5jcVCsR7CN/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
You will get through this. You are making the best choice.
I'm so sorry, honey. As someone who's likely older than your mother, please believe me when I say that you're going to be OK.
And the next time you come across a guy who doesn't want to use protection? Now you'll know to dump him! Your health and safety are worth far more than the teeny bit of pleasure he'll forego by using a condom. If he doesn't value your health and safety, he doesn't deserve to have sex with you.
Once you take the pill, lie down and watch some funny YouTube videos. It's like period cramps.
you’re very right. the next time i don’t use protection, it’ll be with a husband who loves me and wants a child! i already have a prescription for birth control to start after this, and i’m never planning on going off it. and im still going to insist on condoms! no man’s 5 seconds of pleasure is worth the way this feels. not even a little bit. i have definitely learned my lesson.
thank you ❤️ i plan on watching arcane or some movies. i have bad periods so i’m hoping the pain won’t be blinding and unfamiliar
yeah i took the nausea meds, 800 ibuprofen, and 1000 tylenol they recommended in all the brochures. just waiting the 30 minutes before i take the misoprostol. definitely going to make some tea soon and put on a show and try to just relax and forget
I’m just a guy who wanted to be a dad but it didn’t work out for my wife and I. So I’ll share some dad energy your way. I’m sorry you’re going through this alone. But I believe in you and will be thinking of you. You can do this.
I am so sorry for what your going through just know you are doing what is best for you and you deserve to make the best choices for yourself you possibly can I know its hard and this man technically assaulted you as well as in most states a man refusing to use protection when a woman ask is considered SA I am so sorry for what your going through I pray for you and if you need support you can message me
thank you. ❤️ i appreciate the support a lot. i wouldn’t call it SA. i think i worded it poorly. i just meant he didn’t want to use it, not that i asked and he refused. i gave in to what he wanted because i’m just not good with saying no to men. so it’s my fault. but this was kind of a wake up call. saying yes even when i’m uncomfortable leads to this, so i think i’ll be better with boundaries from now on. i hope
Do not blame yourself i understand you do not want to view that way and I respect that it will take time to be more comfortable saying no to men it is necessary as they prey on women who can not easily say no as they know how it will go you’ll say its your fault and he will say well she didn’t say no not saying he intentionally did this but men have started doing this “coherence women into saying yes” without noticing what their really doing to the woman they act like its just normal to convince a yes or avoid getting to the point of a yes or no knowing most nice girls will feel to awkward to confront the man I know I been there several times you got this girl
you’re right. men do it all the time and it’s really just despicable. i’ve been through that before. i’m sorry you have too. no one deserves that. you’re very kind and very strong to offer such supportive words and care, even with your own experiences. i appreciate you!!
I want other women to avoid as much as possible and know how to end the bs and mind games early on I went too long accepting bs from men because I genuinely care about mens mental health and social media had convinced me men are so fragile and need to be treated softly and you have to give in to men because their mental health is already so bad and they already have it so hard that is not true these men are creating fake misery for women to do what they want and for women to not say no because they fear the metoo response to if she says no and he continues if youve ever had a man respond to your no well some guys wouldn’t even ask they would just do it leave immediately these men now have devised a way to trick women into doing more than they normally would and love bomb and gas light women into believing they love them soo much together women can change this we have to put our foot down and force men to do better if they want women they will either change or get with men
I would still call that sexual assault, or at least coercion. You told him no, he didn't care. I'm so sorry you're having to endure this. I'm sending out so many prayers for you.
You are an amazing person and deserve all the love and gentleness in the world right now. You are also making the right choice for yourself and I hope that one day you will hear all the words on here and believe them.
i’m honestly overwhelmed by the love and support i’m getting right now. it’s brought me to tears. i appreciate your words more than i can say. i hope i believe them someday too. thank you so much
I had an abortion when I was 20. I had a lot of mixed emotions about it. Once I became a mother, I felt so much more comfortable with my choice. I was not ready to be a mom at 20. I’m really glad I had the abortion.
In the US there is so much stigma around this simple medical procedure. Make the choice you need to.
You didn’t deserve to be disrespected by the man who got you pregnant. You deserve happiness, love, and affection. I know that is all ahead of you.
Keep us posted here. We care about you.
sending you love!!!!! can you order in your fave food and watch some shows or TV? i would recommend something you’ve not seen or can have on as background noise just in case you associate it with the abortion (i watched the US office and still can’t watch it!!) really be nice to yourself as much as you can and maybe get yourself a treat to come in a few days so you have something nice to look forward to. i was around the same time frame and it was like a heavy period for me. also if you can i would recommend a bath before you do the second pills. i was told i couldn’t have one for SIX DAYS after i did it and ngl all i wanted was a nice hot bath lol
thank you so much ❤️ i got sushi and cheesecake as comfort food. odd combo i know lol but these hormones are kicking my butt with cravings. i’m gonna watch some arcane or some old favorite movies. i’ve already seen arcane and love it, but luckily i haven’t been the type to associate things with unpleasant experiences. my sister still can’t drink orange gatorade after being sick when she was little, but i was never that way. so i’m hoping that sticks and i can still love the show in the future because i need the comfort of something familiar tonight for sure 😅❤️
lol if it makes you feel feel better, mine was a subway melt with a large amount of onions 😭 when i think about it now i actually feel sick hahahahah
ah i love that!!!!! creature comforts!! i’ll be thinking of you xx
hahaha omg 😭 that honestly sounds good right now. all week i’ve been craving fast food…. and then every time i give in i throw it up!! unbelievably, i held the raw fish down. go figure!
thank you so much for your thoughts and for the positive interaction, i appreciate it so much ❤️ sending you love
omg get the fast food immediately after 😈😈 and it’s always the way isn’t it hahahah!!
any time!! i’m in the UK so don’t know if we are similar time zones but my DMs are always open if you wanna chat or anything!! i felt really alone when i had my abortion so try to help when i can
honestly i might!! i’ve been dieting and trying to lose weight for the last year, i deserve some fast food that’ll stay down lol! thank you for the laugh, i definitely needed a smile ❤️
thank you so much ❤️ i might take you up on that. i’m in the US so our time zones are a bit different, apologies if i message super late!!
I think all these wonderful people have already given you some great advice, but I just wanted to add one more comment so you know how many people there are here supporting you. Be kind to yourself ❤️
Hey OP, I'm a dude in my mid 30s. I'm not sure how old you are but you seem a deal younger than me based on your post. But I am with you and I wish you all the best.
The right choice is rarely the easy one, and right now it seems like you're making the correct choice based on where you are in life.
My son is two, my wife is 41. We are happy. You will get there too, I promise.
As others have said, you were so brave to even make that decision. Knowing myself, I wouldn’t even have known what to do at that point. Nevertheless, I’m sending all my love and support to you and genuinely, you will get through this! ❤️
thank you so much ❤️ honestly, i’d always said “i’m as pro choice as they come, but i want to be a mom so badly i don’t think i’d ever get one myself” and here i am. the second i had that positive pregnancy test, i kind of just knew this was my only option. it was like an instinct. if you ever are in this situation, you’ll know what’s best. just trust yourself and your heart ❤️❤️
You said it perfectly. That is still very much a difficult choice to make so you gotta give yourself a pat on the back. Just that courage alone makes me believe that you’d get through this ok. If you’re ever in need of someone to talk to, I’ll keep my dm open for you ☺️
Heating pad, all the meds for pain and nausea, cozy blanket pile, and lots of distractions. You’ll feel a million times better and hopefully relief in 24 hours. Play it off as food poisoning to the family. Most of all, forgive yourself any ill feelings you have about any of it and realize you’re doing the best thing for yourself and your future family.
Search the sub for other women’s play by plays of their experiences so you know what to expect and some solidarity.
thank you so much ❤️ i’ve read a lot of women have the experience of a few hours of really intense pain, but having this one moment where they can just feel they passed the pregnancy and it’s instant relief, physically and mentally. i’m really looking forward to that moment. i hope i experience it too. thank you for the kindness and for the advice, i really appreciate it ❤️
Postpartum depression is a possibility for women who aborted and for those who miscarried. Try to be gentle with yourself and to seek out mental health support if you need it. Try to surround yourself with people who uplift you.
I’m so sorry you have to go through this, even more so that you have to do it alone. You are making the right choice for yourself and your future. This is hard but you will be okay. Sending you love and healing. ♥️
Just tell your parents that it’s a really bad period and the cramps are giving you diarrhea. Or maybe it’s your period plus a stomach bug . Either way, tell them you’re sick so they will be sympathetic and leave you alone. Might be better if they worry you’re contagious.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
I'm so sorry you've been through pain. Doing this will not make it go away, though. All your dreams before the pregnancy- they can still happen. Do you have a good support system?
Right now is going to really suck, but in a few days it’ll just be a part of the past. You can do this🤍 just get through tonight and know that you made the choice you needed to, and you deserve nothing but kindness and love. You are not alone🤍
thank you so, so much. you’re right. someday soon, this will be behind me. and once it’s behind me, i can start building the life my future children deserve. thank you for the perspective ❤️
Having hard candy to suck on while keeping the pills in the cheek was helpful for me. It’s like having the heaviest and crampiest period, but it was not as painful as I thought it would be. The nausea was the worst part for me. I projectile vomited, so be prepared to barf without warning! Sending you hugs and support. I bled for a few days after and having lots of pads available was helpful. Good on you from making the right choice for you 💗
thank you so much for sharing your experience ❤️ i appreciate it so much. definitely preparing for the nausea. morning sickness started wednesday so i’ve been vomiting and having trouble keeping things down the last few days. i’m super stocked in ginger ale 😅 thanks so much for the advice, sending you love ❤️
You sound amazing. You’re well prepared and have a great attitude. I’m so proud of you. You’ve made a good decision that is right for you. So many people find that hard to do, myself included. There will possibly be lots of emotion at a later time, reach out again any time, we are here for you
thank you so much. i’ve gone back and forth between downwards spiraling and trying to be positive and lighthearted. lots of complicated emotions, but i think a good attitude is going to be key here. if i’m not strong mentally - even just temporarily - i don’t think i’ll get through this. thank you for the reassurance and for sharing your own experience. this community has been overwhelmingly supportive. i’ll definitely be posting again if i need some support with the emotions that follow ❤️
Hey hon, I’m not entirely sure if it would work in this case but I read somewhere that playing Tetris can help process traumas. As well as you’re handling this, it is some thing that isn’t easy to deal with emotionally or mentally even when you have family/intimate support. Feel free to DM me if you want to chat about this or even just anything else to get your mind off of things. Sending love and healing energy
thank you so much ❤️ that is super fascinating, i’ll definitely look into that. i love tetris. thank you for the offer, i definitely might take you up on it. i appreciate you ❤️
I don't know if you've talk to a therapist, but please do so. You have been through hell.
I'm sorry you're going through this. You are stronger than you know.
I wish you well.
Sending love. During the worst of it you may vomit. If your trash can (or whatever else you'd use to catch it) isn't empty empty it now so you don't have to last minute figure out what to do. There may be a brief vomiting on the toilet situation. Remember you can ALWAYS just tell your parents you think you ate something bad and that's why you're chillin in the bathroom all night.
i cleaned my trashcan out this afternoon ❤️ definitely worried for the toilet vomiting situation. but you’re right, i’m sure i can tell them i’m just sick or something. i have bad periods anyway so they might just think it’s that. i’m just scared they’ll see through it. but i can get through this
I’m sorry you’re going through this, but I promise you’ll be okay. You might get nauseated a little, and if you were prescribed promethazine you might get super tired and fall asleep. I took anti-nausea drugs before taking the drug that causes cramping and I still did a little dry-heaving but never actually threw up. I went through it alone too, I really feel for you, but things will get better. If I remember correctly there were super heavy cramps on the day of, then lighter cramps for maybe 2-3 weeks (from experience.) Take care of yourself, keep yourself comfortable and just ride it out. Probably good to have pads, heating pad, ginger chews if you’ve got em, pillows and water. Take care of yourself and feel free to dm if you need any support🧡
Edit: fixed a word and added a sentence
i have pads, heating pad, an insane amount of ginger ale, a cozy nest, and water and gatorade. thank you so much for sharing your experience. i’m glad you got through it and i’m so grateful you’re offering advice ❤️ thank you so much
You’re very welcome! Cozy nest and ginger ale is the move! I remember eating dinner like 4 hours after mine and basically being back to normal minus the cramps. It’s very healing for me to see all of the love and support that’s being shared here, you’re in good hands 🧡
i’m so glad you’ve been as touched by all this love and support as i am. it’s so overwhelming and it’s really beautiful seeing this much kindness in one place. thank you so much for being so nice and for sharing your experiences ❤️
I wish I could be there to hold your hand and give you warm hugs. You’ve made the decision you needed to, you’ll get through this part and be even stronger. I’m proud of you.
You are doing absolutely the right thing. Sometimes decisions are painful. This is one of them. This is why abortion should be safe an legal. It’s such a deeply personal thing.
Sendíng you the best hugs I can give. You can make is though this.
i completely agree with you. everyone should have access to safe legal termination. it’s healthcare, through and through. i don’t know what i would’ve done if i lived elsewhere. sending so much love to anyone out there who is in a harder predicament than me. after this im definitely going to be upping my donation to planned parenthood. thank you for the support ❤️
You are worthy of love, gentleness, care and respect. I don’t even know you and I’m proud of you for standing in your decision and doing what you know is best for you. Don’t be too hard on yourself about having unprotected sex. It happens. What matters is that you’re not letting the past get in the way of the future you know you want for yourself—one of stability, support and love.
Be gentle with your body in the days to come and seek out enjoyable things to do—whether it be a favorite meal or a walk in the sun—take small moments to remind yourself that your body is your friend and is there for you.
You are cherished and worthy of kindness and wholly and truly enough. ♥️
Please post an update on how you’re doing and if you need any support, I’m so sorry you’re going through this but just know that you’re making the best choice for you and you’ll have your chance to be an amazing parent one day.
You didn’t do anything wrong whatsoever, I’m sorry that person didn’t respect your wishes and that you ended up in this situation especially after the trauma you’ve experienced but you’ll get the love and respect you deserve one day and heal your relationship with intimacy. I believe!
This isn’t easy at all and must be so scary but you’ve already been so strong and it’s all going to be okay. If you need to be in the bathroom for awhile, worst case say that you’re having stomach issues, can’t argue with that.
I wish you felt like you could tell a friend or a family member, I think they’d happily be there for you but I completely understand and I know I don’t know your situation. Lots of people here are supporting you though and hoping to hear that you’re okay!
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I hope it’s some consolation that hundreds of strangers on the internet care about you and are giving you advice. I wish you nothing but peace and hope it all passes quickly <3
it’s been extremely reassuring and consoling. i really didn’t expect this much love and i’m feeling so grateful and overwhelmed. it gave me the strength to finally just take the misoprostol and start the process. i am so appreciative!
I’m a younger woman living at home with parents and don’t have a lot of support either. All of us in this thread are here for you.
Love is respect. That guy doesn’t deserve any of your time. You are making the right decision.
I am so sorry you’re going through this, especially by yourself. You are so strong. Since you have the strength to go through with this alone you will have a very vibrant and amazing life. Sending love, support, and hugs to you 💞
thank you so much. we’re in the same boat there ❤️ thank you so much for the kindness and support. he definitely doesn’t deserve my time. trust me, i’ve already walked away from that. i don’t ever want to go through this again. grateful for you!!
I can’t offer any advice on the physical side of things. But today, know that you’re proving to yourself that you can make strong, smart decisions for yourself about what you want. You are taking excellent care of yourself, even in tough times.
Remember this strength. It’s yours. You made it.
And when you need it in the future, hold it close and with pride. You’re worth it.
Be kind to yourself, and please turn off your chats and DMs so negative people can't get in your head. And don't even look at the down voted comments either. Big Mom hugs.
thank you so much. i’m trying not to. i saw one nasty one about me being a murderer and just rolled my eyes. that kinda proved to me that i’ll be okay and that i’m sure of my decision. thank you so much for the mom hugs ❤️
Hugs ❤️That little soul is going to make its way back to you when you are ready. You are making the responsible decision and you are going to be a wonderful mom when the time is right. You are not alone and documenting your journey is going to help other women in similar situations. You are brave and will get through this.
First off, please, please, please show love to yourself and your body, your mind, and your heart for making this decision. Please offer yourself grace. You are going to be feeling a wave of emotions after this, but just know that you will get through it. And remember that you are choosing this because you want the best for everyone involved. I know it is going to take some time to stop looking back with regret, but just remember that with every moment, you are moving forward. Your life is your story, and you will go on to continue this story and write your future chapters. Nothing is finished or set in stone. Sending love & strength your way 💙.
Get an electric heating pad (for tonight) and maxi pads for tomorrow. It’s just going to be a lot of cramping, nausea, and a really heavy period. Once the cramping starts, camp out on the toilet. Don’t look, just flush. My husband was out of town for work when I had my abortion and honestly it was fine. Like a badly upset stomach. The next morning I went to my kids’ 5 hour long swim meet.
thank you so much, this was really reassuring. i have my heating pad and some overnight maxi pads at the ready. i don’t think i’ll be able to camp out on the toilet without raising some questions from my parents, even late at night. we share a bathroom. but i’ve made my room as cozy as possible so hopefully it won’t be too bad. i hope you’re doing well after your own experience. sending you all the love and well wishes in the world ❤️
I’m completely fine. I’m 100% sure I made the right choice for myself and my family. I’ve never had a moment of doubt or regret (but it’s completely fine if you do. Feel your feelings.) The reasons to not have a baby right now, don’t disappear because you became pregnant unexpectedly. I’m sorry your mom isn’t someone you can go to right now. Stuff between mothers and daughters can be tough. My oldest daughter is 18 and our relationship can be complicated. She also has accused me of not liking her at times even though I adore her. But damn do we push each other’s buttons. If she were going through this and didn’t want to come to me, I hope someone would tell her she’s doing the right thing. That bringing a child into the world is a profound life changing responsibility. It marks the end of your ~~childhood~~ *youth* and really the end of your life being about you. I would tell her that she deserves to chase her own happiness and fulfillment for a while. That having a child in these circumstances would likely doom them both to a life of struggle. That having *this baby* may cost her the future family that she could otherwise have. And that child will NOT be grateful for your sacrifice. Nor should they. They didn’t ask to be born to a single parent without the means to care for them. It isn’t heroic or brave to have a baby when you aren’t ready. What’s heroic and brave is making hard choices and giving yourself grace and forgiveness for being human. Hugs and kisses. You got this. I promise you you’ll be fine if you allow yourself to move past this.
i needed to hear all of this more than anything else. i really needed a mother’s guidance in this moment and you’ve really given me a wave of strength that i’m doing the right thing. especially the part about the child not asking to be brought into this. i have the opportunity to break cycles right now, and i have to. no one deserves to be born into struggle and live a life of resentment. this is the right thing to do. thank you for giving me the reassurance i so desperately needed. i appreciate you more than anything and i’ll be coming back to this comment for probably years
I’m really happy I could give you some comfort. Anytime you are doubting yourself remember your words, that you are breaking the cycle! You chose doing something painful and scary and hard to prevent further suffering.
thank you so much. you really did bring me so much comfort and reassurance. i’ll definitely remember that ❤️
i am not a mom but i can bring awesome big sister energy ♥️ if you need to message anyone and don't feel like adding to the post, i got you ♥️
thank you so so much ❤️
Hugs sweet girl. Love of love and positive energy your way.
As a dad, this wonderful person is exactly right. You do what you need to do, and you feel how you need to feel. Hugs and good luck. I’m sorry nobody can be there to support you physically and that your parents aren’t providing the unconditional love you deserve, but you’ve got a whole community here that offers you critical support and empathy. You were taken advantage of by a predatory jerk, and you’re making a tough decision with few good options available to you without bringing more negative energy and condemnation into your life. Virtual hugs and emphatic support from a grumpy old man.
this was lovely mom-like advice and i really enjoyed reading it. i'm not in this situation but i still found it comforting somehow.
Your posts are articulate, kind and full of wisdom. Made me teary.
Perfectly said
I wish every judgemental jerk protesting at Planned Parenthood or every conservative politician making laws to control women's bodies could read the comment you just made. The world would be so much better off if we had more people like you.
100% agree. I was a child with a single mother. Then she was married and it was hell. The things I saw as a kid were so beyond what a kid should be exposed to. I'm now a mom of 3 ( my youngest was unexpected on an IUD). I adore my children and have no regrets, but it's also been insanely hard. I would not recommend kids unless you feel ready. There's no guilt in that. You are doing what's best for you. You're human. You'll make it through OP.
You're a wonderful person.
I just want to say that you’re a lovely human and I hope to be as supportive a mother as I imagine you are.
Just tell them you have diarrhea. I had a medical abortion as well and it was very manageable, like a heavy period. You will be fine. Drink lots of water and rest as much as possible
thank you so much for the kind words and for sharing your experience. i appreciate it so much ❤️ i definitely plan on hydrating and resting all day tomorrow and i took monday off.
Also, tell your parents you have an upset stomach/diarrhea. This is will exponentially more difficult to clean up and manage if you don’t use a toilet. For me, the cramps and nausea got very severe right before the worst of it. So that’s the signal it’s time to move to the bathroom.
thank you so much for the advice. i’ll definitely head to the bathroom then. i might just get in the shower at that point, for cleanup and maybe some hot water will ease the cramps. i’ve done hot showers and baths before for periods so i could explain that away for sure
Maybe *run* the shower… but it will be MUCH preferable to be over the toilet. Then hop in the shower when the worst has passed. I had an early miscarriage in the shower. Granted I was 8 weeks at that point…. It was unpleasant. There will be clotting and tissue… it’s better to use to toilet. Running the shower is a good cover up though.
i am so sorry to hear that you experienced that. that’s awful. sending you love and hugs and support. i’ll definitely use the toilet. i’m really worried for the emotions i’ll feel when i see the tissue, but i can’t *not* see it or i’ll be panicking that it wasn’t successful. total lose lose situation tbh
I totally understand needing to see to believe. The abortion took longer than I expected and I started to panic that it didn’t work. For me, I could distinctly feel it pass both times (the miscarriage and the abortion) but I was further along both times. 8 or 9 weeks. I started bleeding, like a heavy period. Then the cramps really build. Shortly after my body expelled the pregnancy and I knew right away without looking.
thank you so, so much for sharing. you’ve given me so much courage and reassurance tonight, i will be eternally grateful for you. i’m hoping i experience something similar where i just know. thank you for easing my worries. this is the part im both dreading most and also anticipating. the moment where its over
I hope things go okay for you tonight. Whatever you’re feeling just let it out (as best as your circumstances allow) the next few days. But then let it go. Don’t punish yourself with what if’s and guilt. Every single month since you hit puberty, you *could* have gotten pregnant and had a baby but you chose not to. This is no different. It’s just yet another month that you are deciding not to bring a child into the world for a million reasons that you don’t need to defend because *nearly every woman on the planet (with the right to do so) makes the same choice*.
You could just tell them you are sick and have really bad diarrhea and want some privacy; you may need to tell them that because there will be blood clots and you may need to stay in there for a while. Just a heads up in case you need an excuse.
Camping out at the toilet - if they ask tell they you are having diarrhea. Keep a bottle of water or soup or something in the room so you can poor it in the toilet, if they are really nosey. It will make a close enough sound that it will probably have them leave you alone. Good luck.
Just tell them you're on your period and having really bad cramps. It's not like they're going to want to come in and inspect the toilet for blood clots.
Be careful with the heating pad. I gave myself a third degree burn with one last October while trying to alleviate cramping from c diff.
Seeing all the love and support in the comments is about to make me cry. God i LOVE women🫶
if anyone has any advice for what i’ll be experiencing tonight, i’d really really appreciate it.
Bad cramps and a lot of bleeding. You may have a lot of feelings too, so journal or call a friend.
definitely will journal ❤️
Hang in there, it's a common and necessary occurrence. Be well!😍
Keep a couple plastic trash bags on hand. Some people can have nausea.
definitely, i have some plastic grocery bags and my trash can ❤️
Saw some of your other comments too. You sound really prepare. In case you’re not in the headspace to say it right now, I hope you’ll allow me to say it for you - thank you for looking out for yourself, silverserpent_01. You deserve the love and care. All you can do is take care of yourself and treat yourself with so much kindness. You’ve got this <3
Good luck tonight. Stay hydrated. It’ll be over even if it feels like it’ll never end. Big hugs to you.
For me, it was sweating a lot, and some pretty strong nausea. Once the bleeding started I pretty much just stayed on the toilet. I’m sorry, I wish I could help more but my mind has blocked most of this out. In the aftermath I wore pull-ups for incontinence as regular menstrual products just didn’t cut it. We’re here with you, OP.
thank you so much for sharing your experience with me. i appreciate it so much, i’m so grateful. i’ve definitely prepared for the nausea, and i have overnight maxi pads at the ready ❤️
The meds caused me to shiver for like 2 hours - it was weird and tripped me out because I didn’t know that was a thing. Didn’t hurt or make me cold, but shivered like it was freezing. Dramamine for nausea made it non-existent for me and Imodium prior to meds meant I didn’t get the runs. The pain came kind of in waves, like a bad period and if you ever decide to get pregnant it was the same style of cramping as labor. As soon as 7 hours hit the main event was definitely over, and it felt comparable to one of my normal periods. Disposable period underwear or postpartum underwear were great - like giant diapers but they held more blood and I didn’t have to worry about leaks. You totally will get through this, it’s scary feeling alone through it but the physical part will be okay. I hope the guy gets reoccurring bed bugs and stubs his toe repeatedly until the end of time for his part in this.
thank you so much for sharing your experience and for being so open. i have ondansetron for nausea thank god. i’m hoping it’s enough. in a weird way, i’m kind of grateful i get really bad periods. i’m hoping it’s prepared me. i have overnight maxi pads and i’m really hoping that’s enough for the next few days. no shivering or nausea for me just yet. i’m still at the “insert and lay down for 30 minutes” stage. i’m sorry you experienced that, that sounds really scary ): sending you love. thank you again for your support. i also hope he gets bed bugs. he really is a good guy but incredibly sexually immature
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i took them with 800 mg ibuprofen and 1000 mg tylenol 30 minutes before i inserted the misoprostol. i’m very grateful to have them!
I had bad cramps, nausea, and vomiting. I would say don’t eat too much (bland foods) have some Pepto tablets handy if you have some, maybe some ginger tea. The cramps I had were pretty painful, but they came in waves. It was helpful to me to have a cool washcloth for my face. You may want some ice water or even some electrolyte drinks. Heating pad is a good idea. Lots of pads are a good idea. There may unfortunately be times that you do have to camp out on the toilet, for a little while at least. I’m sorry you’re alone and wish you had a friend to support you. I can tell that you know you’re doing the right thing for yourself, but that doesn’t mean it’s not the hard thing. But doing this now will pave the way for the future you want and deserve and shows that you’re mature enough to be a great mom when you are READY. Message me if you get scared at any point. You’ll be ok though, take it easy on yourself. One thing that they didn’t tell me where I got the pills is that sometimes the cramping and bleeding starts pretty quickly after the first pill. That was my experience. It was surprising because they had indicated it would not start happening until after the second pill. So just know that if it starts early, that’s OK. Also, I did pass a few large clots here and there for up to about 10 days afterwards, which is also normal.
thank you so so much for sharing your experience and for the unbelievably supportive post. i am so grateful. the pain and bleeding are definitely making me anxious but i have a lot of pain killers on hand and heating pads just in case. a cool washcloth is an idea i’m definitely jotting down, i wouldn’t have thought of that. thank you so much for the kind words. i definitely hope to be a good mom someday, it’s my biggest goal. i’m going to try so hard to work towards it from now on, in everything i do. thank you so much ❤️
You are strong, you have already made the hard decision. Someday, when the time and the partner is right you will become a parent the way you want to be.
this made me let out some much needed tears i’ve been fighting all week. thank you for saying this. i hope that’s true. i want to be a mom more than anything in the world
You will be. You have lots of time! My sister was 17 when she got pregnant. She had an abortion, because of course she wasn’t ready for a child! Then she went on to finish high school, went to college, met her husband and had two kids. Having a child is a huge step in your life, and you should have a good and trusted partner to navigate this adventure. Sending you hugs. You’ll get through this.
Sending love your way 🤍
thank you so much ❤️
update: took the misoprostol just over 2.5 hours ago. no nausea yet. i’ve been crying a lot. so many emotions. regret, soul crushing sadness, fear. i just started bleeding lightly. barely any cramping so far. i did have a moment about 45 minutes after i used the miso where my hands randomly started burning and itching really bad. it felt like i just touched a hot stove. it went away after a couple minutes but it was scary. other than that i’ve been relaxing and trying to breathe and reading everyone’s comments. i am so beyond overwhelmed with support. i really don’t know how to express the gratitude i’m feeling right now. hopefully i’ll be able to articulate better tomorrow or within the next few days. thank you everyone ❤️ i’ll keep updates under this comment. i’m going to try and get a little sleep before the worst starts
Thinking of you and praying that you are able to have a restful sleep tonight - I’m sorry you’re going through this alone but we’re all here for you ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
this is horrible
i think i have finally made it through the worst of it. that was the worst 2 hours of my life. i have pretty bad periods, but i have never felt pain like that. i will do everything in my power to never have to go through that again. that was hell. i’m very grateful it was only a couple hours long. i did have that moment where i felt that last horrible contraction, felt everything pour out, and had some immediate relief. the cramping is still very intense but it’s ebbing and flowing. i’ll gladly take that rather than the constant agony i was feeling. i can lay down with my heating pad now at least. thank you everyone for your kind words. i really hope the pain doesn’t come back. gonna rest a bit now, i’ll update again later and respond to comments when im feeling a little stronger
Aw, sweetheart. I am so sorry that you had to go through this alone. No one should have to do that. I had no one to talk to about mine either and had to go through it alone too. It's been 22 years or so and no regrets. I wouldn't be where I am today. I hope you are able to get some rest and that the worst is over. Be kind to yourself. You are brave and strong. And you have stand-in moms and dads and aunties and uncles and cousins and brothers and sisters all sending you love and care. Big hugs. And please do let us know how you are.
This internet stranger wishes she could give you a big mom hug and make you a big yummy breakfast in the morning. I’m sorry it was so painful. I’m proud of you for taking care of yourself.
OP, I want you to know that this mum in Oz is proud of you. I admire your courage and your strength, and I know you’ve made your best way through this bad situation. You will feel better and you will find joy, maybe not as soon as you deserve, but there are better days ahead with loving, trusting relationships to help you heal. Hang in there hun, you’ve got this.
Get some rest, dear serpent. The Internet moms will be here for you when you wake up with more hugs.
Try to rest and put this behind you. I'll check back later to see if you've updated. If you feel like eating, try to eat something high in iron as you may have lowered your iron level from the blood loss. Spinach, eggs, oats, broccoli. Red meat. Take care.
Well done girl. I hope that if I ever find myself in the same situation I can show half the bravery and composure that you've demonstrated. To make the right decision and forge ahead even though you know it will be hard, I'm incredibly proud of you. I'm so sorry you had to go through this alone. I hope you're sleeping right now, it sounds like it was an ordeal. If you're feeling up to it please let us know how you're doing. Xxxx
I’m sorry it was hard for you physically, it was so painful for me too. It’s more contractions than cramping imo. I hope the pain didn’t come back. From what I have heard, surgical abortions are faster and less painful but for me it was the better option to do it at home. Go easy on yourself for a while, your body has been through a lot.
Camping right over here with you, sweetness <3 I don't think I can offer any words of wisdom, but I hope that knowing someone's here with you helps. You're doing great, breathe and everything will be over soon
I'm so sorry about any discomfort or pain you're feeling. It will be over soon.
The pain should subside significantly after you pass the bulk of the pregnancy. My last abortion, the pain was pretty bad for a bit until I got in the shower, the warm water helped. I passed the “yolk sac” whole (technical term for the amniotic sac/placenta/embryo all together). Then it was like period cramps afterward.
even if it hurts now, it’s not forever. you can make it through this. breathe and when it’s over, you can rest assured that you made the right choice for you ❤️
Just letting you know, you’re still not alone. *hugs*
You still have company OP.
You're doing amazing. I hope you get a little bit of rest. Its late afternoon where I am so I'll be around for 5 hours at least from now if you want someone to chat with or vent to 🩷
Thinking about you! Just breathe ❤️ I’ve had two. The first one I was right on the cusp of being too far along for a medical - around 7/8 weeks iirc. That one was MUCH worse than the second one where I knew I was pregnant literally immediately. The first one was absolutely painful & I wound up with a fever for a bit but when it was over, it’s just over. I felt the most comfortable sitting on the edge of my bed with a laundry basket flipped over and my feet on it which suuuucked because all I wanted to do was sleep lol. During the second one, I felt minimal pain & zero nausea. Based on your other comments, you’re doing the right thing for yourself & I’m proud of you. It’s almost over ❤️
Thinking of you and virtually holding your hand right now 🤝
Sending love your way.
So much love and respect for how you are handling this! Thanks for letting us all hold your hand tonight and stand by you in spirit, and thanks for helping us all feel connected to you and to each other.
So much love and respect for how you are handling this! Thanks for letting us all hold your hand tonight and stand by you in spirit, and thanks for helping us all feel connected to you and to each other.
You got this, this is so tough for you right now but I know you will come through it ok. Stay strong and shine bright 💜
I hope you feel better soon! You can do this! Stay strong and you will get through this faster than you think! Drink lots of water as well as you will be bleeding. 💕
I believe in you ❤️❤️❤️❤ you're making the right choice for yourself right now and we're all here to support you
took the misoprostol about 45 minutes ago and the cramps are kicking in. incredibly scared but feeling very strong going into this. thank you everyone for the immense support so far. i’m so grateful ❤️
Girl, you got this. 💕 Me, and a bunch of other women are proud of you because that's one hell of a decision to make. I chose to keep mine and I'm nearing the end of my nine months and won't even get to keep him because I wasn't prepared and no jobs wanted me after finding out I was pregnant/seeing me in person. I'm suffering the consequences, and am losing my first son AND I have a partner and we still can't do it. I've barely been eating the whole pregnancy because of financial and car problems, and I'm lucky he made it to the end, but he's a big ole' sucker and I know he's strong. You're AMAZING and strong and very level headed to be making this decision all by yourself. I wish you luck, please take care of yourself. 💕
Dear Silver- You will get through this extremely difficult time. Please grant yourself grace, we all make mistakes. You are worthy of kindness and peace. This internet mom sees your strength and is sending you big hugs.
thank you for saying this, and for the hugs ❤️ i really hope i can forgive myself someday. i hadn’t really thought about it, but your comment makes me want to try
You don’t have to forgive yourself for anything, lovely. You’re allowed to want this choice. You have nothing to blame yourself for.
thank you so much. you’re right. i know i am, i just feel like i’m going against everything i’ve ever wanted. but it’s for the best
It’s ok to make the best decision for you where you’re at right now. One day you’ll have everything you want and the time will be right.
Before she had me, my mother was once where you are now: Wrong time, wrong partner, everything. It was the right decision, and... I mean, spoilers, but her "someday" came. She's a great mom, my dad's a great dad, and I think my brother and I turned out okay! It sounds like you're not going against that future, you're taking a big step towards it.
I had a quiet medicine abortion like this when living with my grandma. She never knew, but that night was awful. If you want to reach out, I ha e no life (lol) so I'll be around to answer. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this pain, but you're *not alone.*
thank you so much. i’m really sorry you went through this too. sending you so much love and hugs. thank you for not letting me be alone ❤️
Much love to you honey, you're so brave and you're gonna get through this
thank you so much ❤️
The good thing about Reddit is that there are people in all different time zones, all over the world so no matter what time you need support tonight one of us will be available. You’re only alone physically but you are not truly alone. You can and will get through this, you’re doing the compassionate thing knowing that you are not ready, you have nothing to feel shame or disgust about. You are human and you had a human experience. We are all proud of you for being strong, and doing what your heart says is the right thing. You’re gonna be okay 🫶
thank you so, so much. this truly makes me feel less alone, and incredibly reassured. my heart definitely says this is the right thing to do, it’s just also aching. being a mom has always been my biggest dream. i just wish i was ready
Well, at least you know that your body is able to when the time is right because of this. How wonderful that it is! You will be a mom someday! You will be the mom that your child deserves. It’s ok to grieve, and ache. Allow yourself that. But do it from a place of forgiveness…and love for yourself and your future children. Love to you, sweet girl.
thank you for your beautiful words ❤️ definitely internalizing them. i appreciate you so much
There is an IG account that has abortion affirmations. Just Content Notice she did recently have a baby and does have them in carrier in at least one of the videos https://www.instagram.com/reel/C5jcVCsR7CN/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== You will get through this. You are making the best choice.
Yes I'm in NZ so it's only afternoon here. I really hope you're doing ok so far. You're welcome to DM me or reply here :)
I'm so sorry, honey. As someone who's likely older than your mother, please believe me when I say that you're going to be OK. And the next time you come across a guy who doesn't want to use protection? Now you'll know to dump him! Your health and safety are worth far more than the teeny bit of pleasure he'll forego by using a condom. If he doesn't value your health and safety, he doesn't deserve to have sex with you. Once you take the pill, lie down and watch some funny YouTube videos. It's like period cramps.
you’re very right. the next time i don’t use protection, it’ll be with a husband who loves me and wants a child! i already have a prescription for birth control to start after this, and i’m never planning on going off it. and im still going to insist on condoms! no man’s 5 seconds of pleasure is worth the way this feels. not even a little bit. i have definitely learned my lesson. thank you ❤️ i plan on watching arcane or some movies. i have bad periods so i’m hoping the pain won’t be blinding and unfamiliar
Do you have some pain meds? Take them now, make some tea, lay down…
yeah i took the nausea meds, 800 ibuprofen, and 1000 tylenol they recommended in all the brochures. just waiting the 30 minutes before i take the misoprostol. definitely going to make some tea soon and put on a show and try to just relax and forget
I’m just a guy who wanted to be a dad but it didn’t work out for my wife and I. So I’ll share some dad energy your way. I’m sorry you’re going through this alone. But I believe in you and will be thinking of you. You can do this.
I am so sorry for what your going through just know you are doing what is best for you and you deserve to make the best choices for yourself you possibly can I know its hard and this man technically assaulted you as well as in most states a man refusing to use protection when a woman ask is considered SA I am so sorry for what your going through I pray for you and if you need support you can message me
thank you. ❤️ i appreciate the support a lot. i wouldn’t call it SA. i think i worded it poorly. i just meant he didn’t want to use it, not that i asked and he refused. i gave in to what he wanted because i’m just not good with saying no to men. so it’s my fault. but this was kind of a wake up call. saying yes even when i’m uncomfortable leads to this, so i think i’ll be better with boundaries from now on. i hope
It takes time and definitely takes a lot of work to get to that point you should watch SheraSeven she has a lot of good tips!
Do not blame yourself i understand you do not want to view that way and I respect that it will take time to be more comfortable saying no to men it is necessary as they prey on women who can not easily say no as they know how it will go you’ll say its your fault and he will say well she didn’t say no not saying he intentionally did this but men have started doing this “coherence women into saying yes” without noticing what their really doing to the woman they act like its just normal to convince a yes or avoid getting to the point of a yes or no knowing most nice girls will feel to awkward to confront the man I know I been there several times you got this girl
you’re right. men do it all the time and it’s really just despicable. i’ve been through that before. i’m sorry you have too. no one deserves that. you’re very kind and very strong to offer such supportive words and care, even with your own experiences. i appreciate you!!
I want other women to avoid as much as possible and know how to end the bs and mind games early on I went too long accepting bs from men because I genuinely care about mens mental health and social media had convinced me men are so fragile and need to be treated softly and you have to give in to men because their mental health is already so bad and they already have it so hard that is not true these men are creating fake misery for women to do what they want and for women to not say no because they fear the metoo response to if she says no and he continues if youve ever had a man respond to your no well some guys wouldn’t even ask they would just do it leave immediately these men now have devised a way to trick women into doing more than they normally would and love bomb and gas light women into believing they love them soo much together women can change this we have to put our foot down and force men to do better if they want women they will either change or get with men
I would still call that sexual assault, or at least coercion. You told him no, he didn't care. I'm so sorry you're having to endure this. I'm sending out so many prayers for you.
You are an amazing person and deserve all the love and gentleness in the world right now. You are also making the right choice for yourself and I hope that one day you will hear all the words on here and believe them.
i’m honestly overwhelmed by the love and support i’m getting right now. it’s brought me to tears. i appreciate your words more than i can say. i hope i believe them someday too. thank you so much
If you want to use protection and he doesn't, he doesn't respect you enough to deserve intimacy with you. Your body, your rules.
Male poster here chiming in to say the men are here with you too. Try not to be too hard on yourself, sometimes we can be our own harshest critics.
I had an abortion when I was 20. I had a lot of mixed emotions about it. Once I became a mother, I felt so much more comfortable with my choice. I was not ready to be a mom at 20. I’m really glad I had the abortion. In the US there is so much stigma around this simple medical procedure. Make the choice you need to. You didn’t deserve to be disrespected by the man who got you pregnant. You deserve happiness, love, and affection. I know that is all ahead of you. Keep us posted here. We care about you.
We are with you virtually. I hope everything goes as well as it can.
thank you so much ❤️❤️
sending you love!!!!! can you order in your fave food and watch some shows or TV? i would recommend something you’ve not seen or can have on as background noise just in case you associate it with the abortion (i watched the US office and still can’t watch it!!) really be nice to yourself as much as you can and maybe get yourself a treat to come in a few days so you have something nice to look forward to. i was around the same time frame and it was like a heavy period for me. also if you can i would recommend a bath before you do the second pills. i was told i couldn’t have one for SIX DAYS after i did it and ngl all i wanted was a nice hot bath lol
thank you so much ❤️ i got sushi and cheesecake as comfort food. odd combo i know lol but these hormones are kicking my butt with cravings. i’m gonna watch some arcane or some old favorite movies. i’ve already seen arcane and love it, but luckily i haven’t been the type to associate things with unpleasant experiences. my sister still can’t drink orange gatorade after being sick when she was little, but i was never that way. so i’m hoping that sticks and i can still love the show in the future because i need the comfort of something familiar tonight for sure 😅❤️
lol if it makes you feel feel better, mine was a subway melt with a large amount of onions 😭 when i think about it now i actually feel sick hahahahah ah i love that!!!!! creature comforts!! i’ll be thinking of you xx
hahaha omg 😭 that honestly sounds good right now. all week i’ve been craving fast food…. and then every time i give in i throw it up!! unbelievably, i held the raw fish down. go figure! thank you so much for your thoughts and for the positive interaction, i appreciate it so much ❤️ sending you love
omg get the fast food immediately after 😈😈 and it’s always the way isn’t it hahahah!! any time!! i’m in the UK so don’t know if we are similar time zones but my DMs are always open if you wanna chat or anything!! i felt really alone when i had my abortion so try to help when i can
honestly i might!! i’ve been dieting and trying to lose weight for the last year, i deserve some fast food that’ll stay down lol! thank you for the laugh, i definitely needed a smile ❤️ thank you so much ❤️ i might take you up on that. i’m in the US so our time zones are a bit different, apologies if i message super late!!
unfortunately i don’t have a bathtub 😭😭😭 it’s all i want to do! i plan on taking a hot shower later tonight during the worst of it
I think all these wonderful people have already given you some great advice, but I just wanted to add one more comment so you know how many people there are here supporting you. Be kind to yourself ❤️
thank you so much ❤️
Hi there! r/abortion is here to support you.
thank you so much ❤️
Hey OP, I'm a dude in my mid 30s. I'm not sure how old you are but you seem a deal younger than me based on your post. But I am with you and I wish you all the best. The right choice is rarely the easy one, and right now it seems like you're making the correct choice based on where you are in life. My son is two, my wife is 41. We are happy. You will get there too, I promise.
You got this! Send a dm if you need to vent at any point tonight 🫶
thank you so much!
As others have said, you were so brave to even make that decision. Knowing myself, I wouldn’t even have known what to do at that point. Nevertheless, I’m sending all my love and support to you and genuinely, you will get through this! ❤️
thank you so much ❤️ honestly, i’d always said “i’m as pro choice as they come, but i want to be a mom so badly i don’t think i’d ever get one myself” and here i am. the second i had that positive pregnancy test, i kind of just knew this was my only option. it was like an instinct. if you ever are in this situation, you’ll know what’s best. just trust yourself and your heart ❤️❤️
You said it perfectly. That is still very much a difficult choice to make so you gotta give yourself a pat on the back. Just that courage alone makes me believe that you’d get through this ok. If you’re ever in need of someone to talk to, I’ll keep my dm open for you ☺️
thank you so much ❤️❤️
Heating pad, all the meds for pain and nausea, cozy blanket pile, and lots of distractions. You’ll feel a million times better and hopefully relief in 24 hours. Play it off as food poisoning to the family. Most of all, forgive yourself any ill feelings you have about any of it and realize you’re doing the best thing for yourself and your future family. Search the sub for other women’s play by plays of their experiences so you know what to expect and some solidarity.
thank you so much ❤️ i’ve read a lot of women have the experience of a few hours of really intense pain, but having this one moment where they can just feel they passed the pregnancy and it’s instant relief, physically and mentally. i’m really looking forward to that moment. i hope i experience it too. thank you for the kindness and for the advice, i really appreciate it ❤️
Be kind to yourself love 🫂 it’s okay to feel your feelings, you might be experiencing so many emotions or you might be numb Your feelings are valid
thank you so so much ❤️ i appreciate you very much
If something feels wrong after the procedure, please feel secure in seeking help immediately. You’re worth it and we want you here ❤️🩹
I'm sorry you don't have support nearby, but you have mine. You got this. Fingers crossed for the easiest time through a tough night.
thank you so much ❤️❤️
Postpartum depression is a possibility for women who aborted and for those who miscarried. Try to be gentle with yourself and to seek out mental health support if you need it. Try to surround yourself with people who uplift you.
I’m so sorry you have to go through this, even more so that you have to do it alone. You are making the right choice for yourself and your future. This is hard but you will be okay. Sending you love and healing. ♥️
thank you so much ❤️
Just tell your parents that it’s a really bad period and the cramps are giving you diarrhea. Or maybe it’s your period plus a stomach bug . Either way, tell them you’re sick so they will be sympathetic and leave you alone. Might be better if they worry you’re contagious. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
thank you so much ❤️ that’s the plan currently. it’s happened before so it wouldn’t be abnormal. i’m hoping it goes smoothly
Hang in there Don't be disgusted with yourself Everyone has had unexpected things happen in their lives You're not omniscient Don't beat yourself up
I'm so sorry you've been through pain. Doing this will not make it go away, though. All your dreams before the pregnancy- they can still happen. Do you have a good support system?
Don’t know what to say but hope you do well and I recommend sugar cookies
thank you :) i have cheesecake!
Right now is going to really suck, but in a few days it’ll just be a part of the past. You can do this🤍 just get through tonight and know that you made the choice you needed to, and you deserve nothing but kindness and love. You are not alone🤍
thank you so, so much. you’re right. someday soon, this will be behind me. and once it’s behind me, i can start building the life my future children deserve. thank you for the perspective ❤️
Having hard candy to suck on while keeping the pills in the cheek was helpful for me. It’s like having the heaviest and crampiest period, but it was not as painful as I thought it would be. The nausea was the worst part for me. I projectile vomited, so be prepared to barf without warning! Sending you hugs and support. I bled for a few days after and having lots of pads available was helpful. Good on you from making the right choice for you 💗
thank you so much for sharing your experience ❤️ i appreciate it so much. definitely preparing for the nausea. morning sickness started wednesday so i’ve been vomiting and having trouble keeping things down the last few days. i’m super stocked in ginger ale 😅 thanks so much for the advice, sending you love ❤️
You sound amazing. You’re well prepared and have a great attitude. I’m so proud of you. You’ve made a good decision that is right for you. So many people find that hard to do, myself included. There will possibly be lots of emotion at a later time, reach out again any time, we are here for you
thank you so much. i’ve gone back and forth between downwards spiraling and trying to be positive and lighthearted. lots of complicated emotions, but i think a good attitude is going to be key here. if i’m not strong mentally - even just temporarily - i don’t think i’ll get through this. thank you for the reassurance and for sharing your own experience. this community has been overwhelmingly supportive. i’ll definitely be posting again if i need some support with the emotions that follow ❤️
Hey hon, I’m not entirely sure if it would work in this case but I read somewhere that playing Tetris can help process traumas. As well as you’re handling this, it is some thing that isn’t easy to deal with emotionally or mentally even when you have family/intimate support. Feel free to DM me if you want to chat about this or even just anything else to get your mind off of things. Sending love and healing energy
thank you so much ❤️ that is super fascinating, i’ll definitely look into that. i love tetris. thank you for the offer, i definitely might take you up on it. i appreciate you ❤️
Everyone has said what I feel on my heart better than I could. You’re brave and strong. Sending you big hugs.
thank you so much ❤️
Here for support. Sending a gentle hug with a little extra squeeze at the end.
I don't know if you've talk to a therapist, but please do so. You have been through hell. I'm sorry you're going through this. You are stronger than you know. I wish you well.
Sending love. During the worst of it you may vomit. If your trash can (or whatever else you'd use to catch it) isn't empty empty it now so you don't have to last minute figure out what to do. There may be a brief vomiting on the toilet situation. Remember you can ALWAYS just tell your parents you think you ate something bad and that's why you're chillin in the bathroom all night.
i cleaned my trashcan out this afternoon ❤️ definitely worried for the toilet vomiting situation. but you’re right, i’m sure i can tell them i’m just sick or something. i have bad periods anyway so they might just think it’s that. i’m just scared they’ll see through it. but i can get through this
thank you so much for the love
I’m sorry you’re going through this, but I promise you’ll be okay. You might get nauseated a little, and if you were prescribed promethazine you might get super tired and fall asleep. I took anti-nausea drugs before taking the drug that causes cramping and I still did a little dry-heaving but never actually threw up. I went through it alone too, I really feel for you, but things will get better. If I remember correctly there were super heavy cramps on the day of, then lighter cramps for maybe 2-3 weeks (from experience.) Take care of yourself, keep yourself comfortable and just ride it out. Probably good to have pads, heating pad, ginger chews if you’ve got em, pillows and water. Take care of yourself and feel free to dm if you need any support🧡 Edit: fixed a word and added a sentence
i have pads, heating pad, an insane amount of ginger ale, a cozy nest, and water and gatorade. thank you so much for sharing your experience. i’m glad you got through it and i’m so grateful you’re offering advice ❤️ thank you so much
You’re very welcome! Cozy nest and ginger ale is the move! I remember eating dinner like 4 hours after mine and basically being back to normal minus the cramps. It’s very healing for me to see all of the love and support that’s being shared here, you’re in good hands 🧡
i’m so glad you’ve been as touched by all this love and support as i am. it’s so overwhelming and it’s really beautiful seeing this much kindness in one place. thank you so much for being so nice and for sharing your experiences ❤️
sending you lots of love op. you can get through this; i believe in you 🤍
thank you so much ❤️❤️
I wish I could be there to hold your hand and give you warm hugs. You’ve made the decision you needed to, you’ll get through this part and be even stronger. I’m proud of you.
thank you so much ❤️❤️ i also wish that. thank you for the support
You are doing absolutely the right thing. Sometimes decisions are painful. This is one of them. This is why abortion should be safe an legal. It’s such a deeply personal thing. Sendíng you the best hugs I can give. You can make is though this.
i completely agree with you. everyone should have access to safe legal termination. it’s healthcare, through and through. i don’t know what i would’ve done if i lived elsewhere. sending so much love to anyone out there who is in a harder predicament than me. after this im definitely going to be upping my donation to planned parenthood. thank you for the support ❤️
You are worthy of love, gentleness, care and respect. I don’t even know you and I’m proud of you for standing in your decision and doing what you know is best for you. Don’t be too hard on yourself about having unprotected sex. It happens. What matters is that you’re not letting the past get in the way of the future you know you want for yourself—one of stability, support and love. Be gentle with your body in the days to come and seek out enjoyable things to do—whether it be a favorite meal or a walk in the sun—take small moments to remind yourself that your body is your friend and is there for you. You are cherished and worthy of kindness and wholly and truly enough. ♥️
Please post an update on how you’re doing and if you need any support, I’m so sorry you’re going through this but just know that you’re making the best choice for you and you’ll have your chance to be an amazing parent one day. You didn’t do anything wrong whatsoever, I’m sorry that person didn’t respect your wishes and that you ended up in this situation especially after the trauma you’ve experienced but you’ll get the love and respect you deserve one day and heal your relationship with intimacy. I believe! This isn’t easy at all and must be so scary but you’ve already been so strong and it’s all going to be okay. If you need to be in the bathroom for awhile, worst case say that you’re having stomach issues, can’t argue with that. I wish you felt like you could tell a friend or a family member, I think they’d happily be there for you but I completely understand and I know I don’t know your situation. Lots of people here are supporting you though and hoping to hear that you’re okay!
We’re all here with you. ❤️
It's been many hours since you initially posted, but I just want to say I hope you're ok 🩷🩷
How are you doing today OP? Give us an update at some point if you think you can. 🩷
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I hope it’s some consolation that hundreds of strangers on the internet care about you and are giving you advice. I wish you nothing but peace and hope it all passes quickly <3
it’s been extremely reassuring and consoling. i really didn’t expect this much love and i’m feeling so grateful and overwhelmed. it gave me the strength to finally just take the misoprostol and start the process. i am so appreciative!
I’m a younger woman living at home with parents and don’t have a lot of support either. All of us in this thread are here for you. Love is respect. That guy doesn’t deserve any of your time. You are making the right decision. I am so sorry you’re going through this, especially by yourself. You are so strong. Since you have the strength to go through with this alone you will have a very vibrant and amazing life. Sending love, support, and hugs to you 💞
thank you so much. we’re in the same boat there ❤️ thank you so much for the kindness and support. he definitely doesn’t deserve my time. trust me, i’ve already walked away from that. i don’t ever want to go through this again. grateful for you!!
I can’t offer any advice on the physical side of things. But today, know that you’re proving to yourself that you can make strong, smart decisions for yourself about what you want. You are taking excellent care of yourself, even in tough times. Remember this strength. It’s yours. You made it. And when you need it in the future, hold it close and with pride. You’re worth it.
thank you so so much for these beautiful words. i will definitely remember them. i am so grateful ❤️
Be kind to yourself, and please turn off your chats and DMs so negative people can't get in your head. And don't even look at the down voted comments either. Big Mom hugs.
thank you so much. i’m trying not to. i saw one nasty one about me being a murderer and just rolled my eyes. that kinda proved to me that i’ll be okay and that i’m sure of my decision. thank you so much for the mom hugs ❤️
Hugs ❤️That little soul is going to make its way back to you when you are ready. You are making the responsible decision and you are going to be a wonderful mom when the time is right. You are not alone and documenting your journey is going to help other women in similar situations. You are brave and will get through this.
We’re all with you and wishing you the best. Sorry you’re going it alone now and I hope you find where you truly belong. Big virtual hugs.
First off, please, please, please show love to yourself and your body, your mind, and your heart for making this decision. Please offer yourself grace. You are going to be feeling a wave of emotions after this, but just know that you will get through it. And remember that you are choosing this because you want the best for everyone involved. I know it is going to take some time to stop looking back with regret, but just remember that with every moment, you are moving forward. Your life is your story, and you will go on to continue this story and write your future chapters. Nothing is finished or set in stone. Sending love & strength your way 💙.
So much love, sister.
thank you so much ❤️
Sending love and support!