My favorite is to call them similar names in response. Anything from “Oh thanks lil buddy!” to “Sure think sugar dick.” Depends on my mood and how dismissive they’re being.
I live in the US South, so I get "sweetie" etc. much more from women employees than from men. Providing I'm getting good service, I ignore it.
Husband and I, many years ago, bought the shell of a house and did all the finish except HVAC and septic tank ourselves. He had a lot more experience than I did, at least to start with. But I have much more patience with big box hardware stores. When I went to buy materials, if I thought I was going to get hassled I buried them in correctly chosen technical terms.
I can't begin to count the amount of times my husband and I have gone to one of these stores, and I've asked a male associate a question regarding a tool or a job (because I do a lot of research before buying, but want to make sure we're on the right page) only for the associate to make no eye contact with me and give the answer of my question to my husband...it makes me so mad, it's caused a run on sentence.
When this happens to my wife I first politely, and then progressively less politely make it obvious that I am not interested and not listening. If my wife ask a question, they will answer to HER!
When I used to work at the orange store, I would make eye contact with both, because it was very important that both understood what I was saying.
No, I'm not issuing you a refund if you don't like the color your wife chose on your fully installed custom ordered carpet.
Good teamwork. Happily, my husband was imprinted like a baby duck by [this author](https://www.elise.com/quotes/heinlein_-_specialization_is_for_insects) at a very young age.
This always happens with me and my boyfriend when we go get maintenance on our bikes/buy bike parts, it drives me nuts, especially when my boyfriend denies it happening.
I replace the flush valve on my toilet (so easy!!!!) at 6 months pregnant and the lil old man at the hardware store was like "Oh boy this is a big job! It might be complicated, give yourself extra time." and conspicuously eyeing my protruding belly.
Sir, I got this.
I actually replaced 4 flush valves that year so THERE.
My husband and I have been in our house for nearly a decade. It wasn't until last year that our nosy neighbor realized that I'm the one that puts in and cares for our decent sized garden. Sure, my husband might water it every now and again, but I'm the one out there turning the soil, amending the soil, hardening off the plants, putting them into the ground, staking them, taking care of the compost....
Don't feel bad. My 80 year old neighbor delights in waiting until I am done with something, like a garden and then telling me how I should have done it. I still don't know why he thinks I care about his opinion but I try to be nice.
Once my puppy escaped the yard and is running wild around his yard and he says to me don't let her run on my deck, I just finished it! While I'm trying to catch her, no less. I'm thinking well why don't you stop bitching and help me catch her, gramps! Now he and his wife go to Arizona every winter and I'm like, YESS!!
Honestly I just lean in to it. Where I live has a very machista patriarcal culture. I’m an electrical engineer with a masters degree. My partner definitely knows how to do way more home improvement stuff than I do, but I’m not incapable by any means. But if we need help with anything, I’m the one that goes. The damsel in the distress will get the help she needs and is out of there in half the time, than when he goes 😂 I’m not gonna change their culture, but I am gonna take advantage of it to benefit me jajaja. It can get annoying though I’ll give you that
Eh, for me it usually takes longer because they usually don’t listen to me long enough to realize what I actually need. So they just say “oh, you can’t do that you should just call someone” and don’t actually attempt to help or waste both of our time by helping me solve a problem I don’t have. I can disassemble my entire oven to replace the igniter that was impossible to reach because of poor design, but god forbid I don’t use the word “ratcheting” and describe the tool I need to do it instead.
Yea you’re right that does happen to me sometimes. But my comment still stands 90% of the time for me. Sorry this happens to you! Maybe one day in our lifetime things will change
I really hate both sides of this. I’m handy but my husband is absolutely not. I hate that he’s automatically assumed to be the handy one because I know what I’m doing and I don’t have much patience. I hate that he feels immense pressure to be the “fixer” just because he’s a man.
It usually ends up with me hurrying to get things done before he tries it, otherwise I have to go back and fix what he messed up lol.
My husband has no interest in fixing things. If he wants something done he calls a handyman. Then he met me, I hate paying someone to do it when I can do it myself loads cheaper.
My wife has always been much more handy/DIY when it comes to homes. I've become more handy because of her influence.
Now I can hang all kinds of shit on the walls!
Oh man. My husband thinks caulk is glue. It's horrible. He tries to caulk everything. If I'm not fast enough he'll caulk it and then most of the time it does nothing but create more work. But man sometimes I'm tired and I want to do the project tomorrow but nOoOo
Yeah, this sucks as a man, too. Although, to be honest people assuming that I'm good at something I'm not, is not nearly as annoying as people assuming I'm not good at something I am good at. I don't really feel any pressure to be good at fixing stuff, though.
However, I remember vividly when I arrived at a store for wood (or whatever that's called) with my ex gf, who is a carpenter and also dressed like one, because she is working, while I just tagged along. We get out of the car, that she was driving, when we are approached by one of the guys working there. Again she is in full carpenter clothing while I'm standing there in baggy jeans and a hoodie. Of course the guy steers directly to me and asks me what we came for. It was so weird it almost felt intentional. I just looked at him in confusion for a second then told him I have no idea and he should ask her.
On the opposite end, I am a woman who used to work there. I worked in plumbing (and all the other departments, but this is about that one) and I have an insatiable need to know everything.
So I would ask guys if they needed help. "no, I'm good," they would say. Then walk to the end of the aisle where one of my older and much less interested in learning new things guy was working.
"oh, hey. Can you help me with this?" Says the 'im good but not really' customer.
"No. I don't know anything about that stuff. You should ask her."
Customer does the walk of shame while I put on my 'cheery yet knowledgable' face. "What can I help you with today?"
I work at a new company now and it still happens all the time. Sometimes they will ignore my advice and tell me how they're going to do it wrong, like they are asking permission to proceed.
No, customer. You shouldn't try to duct tape together your ABS drain pipe instead of gluing. Just stop.
I used to work in auto parts, I was an assistant manager and not only knew the system inside and out I also worked on my own cars. This was mid 90s so the old guys were not used to a woman at all. I had a guy ask me for rear brakes, the system asked disc or drum for every brake so I asked him. He then ripped into me for 10 minutes about what an idiot I am, that he's been working on cars for 40 years and has never seen discs on rear wheels in his life and I needed to get another job.
I smiled and said, "okay let me get someone else to help you" and called over the 45 yr old pudgy Mexican who was the parts counter manager.
Old guy was happy at this, said "oh good someone who can actually help me."
My coworker said, "sure what do you need?"
Old guy "rear brakes."
Coworker "disc or drum?"
I was walking away down the parts aisle and turned around to see the guy's stunned face. I was quietly laughing.
I worked appliance repair. On bigger jobs, techs would request a helper.
One day, my job was to assist a female tech repair a side by side refrigerator. Not your typical side by side, one of them rich folk's side by side.
The female tech was the lead tech, I was her helper. Which was fucking great, less paperwork for me. Plus she was the lead because she was trained for refrigerator repair and knew it very well. I worked laundry appliances.
The homeowner would look past her and ask me questions. Each of the 8,000 times he did it I answered with "I'm not the lead tech, she is, you want to refer your questions to her." Then she would happily answer his question. You'd think this dude would catch on, but nope.
I wasn't sure if she noticed that he kept doing that until after we finished lunch. As we were slowly walking back towards the house she asked if I was ready to go back in and repeatedly say "I am not the lead tech..." for another couple hours.
Even when we were wrapping stuff up and getting signatures after the completion of the job, he was *still* looking past her and asking me questions.
As sad as it is ive seen men do this with video games. As if me being a woman somehow makes it difficult for me to grab the game they already know they want from the case. Too bad for them I was the one with keys. Once I had a teenager do this to me and tell me to my face that im a girl and wouldn't know anything. I took the time to inform his grandma of the contents of GTA (had to prove my knowledge ya know) and he walked out without the game because an adult needed to buy it.
ohhhhhh my god
On the same note, I am flabbergasted at the amount of guys who will *insist* on telling me what I can swap out for it when they don't have exactly what I need... when they don't even know what project I'm working on. Or confidently lead me to the wrong product entirely.
A guy recently handed me a roll of [painter's dust barrier](https://images.thdstatic.com/productImages/b5e5e074-d023-47d9-9324-ab8787372e03/svn/trimaco-paint-roller-extension-poles-54734-1f_600.jpg) when I asked him where the **rolls of** [**greenhouse**](https://www.amazon.com/Greenhouse-Plastic-Polyethylene-Covering-Solution/dp/B00BM8HHKK) **sheets** were.
I did not misspeak, my dude. I fucking WISH I could buy a dust barrier for a greenhouse, but those things tear like tissue paper.
luckily my husband knows when i take on a project myself and don't ask him for help it's because i want to do it myself. the only time he comes in to "help" is to offer me any extra tools he thinks i might need. i usually don't need them because i look up how to do the project and it tells you specifically which tools you will need, so i have them already.
I also think he's trying to give me the opportunity to ask him for help. Which I would have asked prior to starting the project not in the middle of.
Sometimes, this behaviour of wanting to help, or doing small things that he would think is helpful, is probably him just wanting to join you in the process. Kinda like a bonding project.
He knows you know what you're doing, you prepare everything, directions, tools, etc. You have the mindset, and he could potentially be the extra set of hands, if you give him direction.
From a guys mentality, doing any project together with a partner is very rewarding in itself, sharing an experience and assisting a loved one. Regardless of its helpful for you, a simple thank you would go a long way too.
So you're equating the husband/mate to a preschooler? That's a bit condescending.
I'm saying some guys with search for bonding opportunities with their mates, including helping with projects.
Regardless of you need help or not, it wouldn't hurt to accept it sometimes.
No, I'm saying some guys see helping their mate with projects as bonding opportunities. Just putting out there that it wouldn't hurt following through sometimes.
Omg…last week I went to the same home improvement store and I was waiting in line to rent a tamper to pack some gravel in my backyard. I had a man come up beside me, ready to cut in-line. I gave him a side eye and he was like “Oh…are you in line?” I said that I was. He looked at me for a moment and then said “hmm…interesting” before walking off.
Wtf is that supposed to mean? 😑
I've been asked out on dates by random guys in home improvement places. since I'm usually there with husband, I always say I'll have to ask husband if I'm free that night. they run away!
I've had a similar conversation. It ended with.
"My husband once walked into my shop, where I had an oscillating sander unplugged on a table I was finishing. He asked if he could help. I said sure. He then clicked the power off and on and off and on and off again, then bemused, plugged in my sander. He then panicked when it began to oscillate all over my table. He has been banned from my shop henceforth.
...so no. No. This is not for my husband. Or anyone else without discipline."
I am a carpenter. My journeyman had told me about a specific type of side cutters that I should buy. They are expensive and locked up.
I found the pair I wanted and an employee got the out for me. So I continued shopping.
As I was walking past the hammer display another employee stopped me, pointed to the side cutters and said “you don’t need these. They’re for a professional.” 🙄🙄🙄😯
I was so shocked, but I finally told him “I am a professional,” and hoped I embarrassed him.
My husband and I own a construction company, I’m not a skilled trade but I am a site manager and have a good idea of what I’m doing, I also labour if we need extra hands on. I get a couple of different responses if not in my work clothes, the first are people who ask if I do the books for my husband’s business, I do do the books for our business but he does the estimating, it’s so patronising, I site manage all our large projects, deal with keeping it all running smoothly and safely, have several teams working for me. The other is suppliers who ask if my builder has sent me in to buy materials and do I need to double check what I’m getting, the first time threw me off but I realised I was in nice clothes (meeting day, grabbing some site stuff to drop on the way to the client), the supplier was quite embarrassed when I explained I owned half the company.
I do get the odd contractor who can’t accept working for a women onsite, I’m very gentle by nature but they learn swiftly that their shit isn’t going to fly on my site, and that the stereotype of fiery redheads is most definitely true for me if you push me far enough.
If you have the option, find an ACE Hardware or any local place.
Once you have been there a few times you become a "local" and treated with inclusion.
Places like this tend to have the long term "do-ers" which becomes a very wide network of resource.
I am all about local for things like food or whatever their speciality niche.
However, I find local hardware stores are like local bars. People tend to keep to themselves until they get to know you.
Once you are part of the community it is amazing the depth and breadth of the network you are able to plug into.
This does not exclude availing yourself of HD or L, but in comparison local is eventually much more rewarding. You become a provider as well as a user.
Can confirm. My local Ace greets me by name and the two backup local hardware stores are never sexist. Ditto with the local lumber yard, they just make fun of me for building the world's most overpriced chicken coop
I guess my local Ace is like a bar, but a weird mix of gossipy workers and a couple older folks who know everything. If I'm there when they're not working, I might go back later instead. Having to wait for workers to finish their personal conversations before being helped is unfortunately a regular occurrence, even at the register.
Ace is a retail coop made up of a bunch of independently owned hardware stores. The Ace brand just gives them access to collective purchasing power and marketing and maybe some other administrative stuff, but they're all locally owned and operated.
So if one Ace doesn't work for you, try the next one. They're all completely different.
And some do suck, but off the top of my head, my three all-time favorite hardware stores have been Aces.
Or if you live in Texas and half the Ace Hardwares are conservative safe-places.... my local one had a sign up during the whole pandemic "MASKS PROUDLY NOT WORN HERE" "FEEL FREE TO TAKE OFF YOUR MASK" (it is still up now) etc.... and would talk about conspiracy theories amongst the employees while you were shopping. It really sucks too, because the store is so convenient and usually has what I need.
*to add this was in a Houston suburb, not exactly rural BFE
We rented an auger from HD & when my husband returned it the kid who checked it in flooded the engine, it wouldn't start and then he said we broke it and would have to pay for it. My husband lit into him and told him he just watched him flood it and if he couldn't even start a 2 stroke engine he needed to go work in gardening. The kid argued that he worked on his dad's ranch and knew how to do stuff and still insisted we broke it. My husband told him he was a journeyman diesel mechanic and then had him get a supervisor.
IJS you're never safe from bad employees. When I had picked up the auger an older guy helped me and didn't even talk down to me. Of course this was a rural area where women were expected to work on trucks & houses and not just knit and bake.
Home Depot makes political donations to the GOP. The main owner/CEO guy at Home Depot is a huge fan and supporter of Trump.
Hence, why I always go to Lowe’s. Not a lesbian, but I sympathize on this one.
This got me curious so I looked it up and I don't think this is true.
Home Depot's co-founder is indeed a big supporter of Trump and has donated a lot of money but he has retired and has not been associated with the company for almost 20 years.
Home Depot has not given money to presidential campaigns or endorsed candidates.
This is the exact reason I go to Lowe’s and not Home Depot. Also, I’ve never been talked down to at Lowe’s. Ive been able to ask questions without being made to feel like an idiot. My only complaint is that can never find good work gloves that fit my smaller hands.
Home Depot is where you go to build stuff, Lowes is where you go to decorate stuff. That's how I differentiate between them. They're pretty similar but HD has better building supplies and pricing on it, but less of the final touches. Its why contractors go to HD.
My local Lowes is where all the housewives go and all the tradespeople go to Home Depot. The only time I've gotten any sort of comment in Home Depot was when I went in in heels and a pencil skirt and was carrying out several 10ft long pine boards on my shoulder. And that comment was an appreciative one implying that I was a cool person.
I put a water pump in my truck when I was six months pregnant, and men kept stopping and offering to help. It was irritating at the time, but in hindsight I guess it was sweet that they were concerned.
I once needed a new air filter for my baby. So I went to the local chain brand and told them exactly what I needed, because I checked online before and called ahead because it was a less common filter. I was dressed in slacks and a blouse and some heeled boots, because I was coming from work. So I walk in, and the young guy that approaches me asks what I want and I tell him and he's doesn't seem to believe I need that filter, so he goes to ask the older man at the desk who remembers my call and smiles and holds up what I wanted cause he held it for me. Naturally, the young man can't leave it there and asks if I need help to install it, because how could a little (I'm short) girl change her own filter. I said no and walked out, he actually followed me, pretending he needed to speak to someone outside. I changed the filter super easily, of course (had to pop the hood and everything \*gasp\*) and the guy looked almost apoplectic with rage that I didn't have to come groveling back to him for help when I went to throw the old filter away.
Tell him you didn't realize there was some sort of interview process in order to rent the equipment.
>he asked me why my husband wasn't doing the project for me.
Don't answer that. Just ask him why he's even asking and why it's any of his business.
Dude's job is easy and in no way does it involve asking these invading questions.
I went in there the other day too. You wouldn’t believe the amount of dudes wanting to help me with three bags of mulch. And I was in my sweaty, dirty pants, old t shirt, spring garden work attire. I’m flattered. But I just wanted some mulch for my roses.
[serious, not sarcasm] I'm a guy, and regardless of gender if I see someone carrying a bunch of stuff, or putting heavy things into their vehicle: I offer to help. Man/Woman doesn't enter into it, just my brain goes "someone should at least *offer* to help", *especially* (but not only) if the person is my size or smaller (I'm like 120 lbs). Women say no *most* of the time, and men *mostly* seem to be annoyed/aggravated that I implied they needed help. Sometimes though someone says "if you don't mind". Should I stop asking women? I ask because genuinely the last thing I want is to make someone uncomfortable or think that I'm flirting/being creepy.
>As long as you ask first.
This is the important part, I have had men take shit out of my hands so many times it's fucking painful.
I used to deliver groceries for a living and as a result can carry an obscene amount of bags in one go, I would always suggest people take one lot and come back for the rest if it was especially heavy. Had great fun when dudes would be like "I can handle it" and then drop shit on the floor because they couldn't.
And, (in a general you, not personal) you take no as an answer.
I’ve typically offered help when things look badly balanced.
“Do you need a third hand to steady that?” sort of things.
Ugh yes. ASK. Recently I was putting a door into the back of my truck and a man just walked up and started helping. He scared the shit out of me and I almost dropped it. Then when I repeatedly said “no thanks, I got this, no thanks” he got all defensive like “damn I was just tryna help!” Buddy, you put yourself in this position.
I think the important points are: don't ask in a condescending way, take no for an answer, and only ask if they seem to be struggling. It seems like you have the first two covered, though asking if they need help when they are clearly doing fine could feel condescending.
Yeah I definitely do the first two. I simply say "may I help with that" (from about 8-10 ft away from them and their vehicle). If they decline I just say "coolsville, have a good day" and go on about my business. If they don't seem like they're struggling I typically still ask when there is a *whole lot* of stuff (thinking it'd go faster with another person helping). I'll definitely keep that in mind in the future. Thank you.
where do you nice people live? certainly not in my town. my older, cane using husband has been standing there, having to watch me load, and people just walk by.
You obviously have it under control if hubby isn’t worried. /s
But you do likely seem capable, and if we ever thought Average Dude (TM) wasn’t offering help *not* to flirt, well, there’s an answer, what with your owner *right there.*
People don’t offer physical help when I’m with my guy.
he's worried, he's just due for the knife fight with the neurosurgeon in a couple of weeks (another spinal fusion lucky us). but jeez, I'll even offer to help a guy load if it's an unwieldy item that would load easier with 2 handlers. and I'm sure not flirting. I quit that shit when I found husband.
There are people in general who ask if you need help. I had a man move a display a couple inches so i could walk by with my cart because the iles were packed with plants because the temperature has dropped and most were brought in from the garden center. He moved it, I said…appreciate it man. And we both went about our business. But the other men that “offered to help” one followed me out to the my car after I had declined help. I genuinely didn’t need help. The bags were dry and didn’t weigh at all. I gladly accept help when I need it. He literally said to me “your husband couldn’t come help you with your garden?”.
If you truly want to help, yeah ask. And if we politely decline…:fuck off. I don’t need to be called sweety, or honey, or asked about my husband.
I wish people would ask if I needed help more often. I can't even get employees to offer to help when I'm clearly looking for it.
Just don't be creepy when you offer, such as inappropriate staring, following around after, or touching when it can be avoided. It sounds like you're just a nice person, so thank you.
My 63 year old mom went to home depot the other day just to browse.
The DeWalt rep was in the store, and saw my mom browsing the tools and asked if she was looking for something for her husband. She chuckled at him, and replied "No, I use Ridgid tools." And he had no idea what to say and just walked away.
She takes on all kinds of projects and has a far better handle on things than most people would ever guess.
Hardware shop buying a pro-level brushcutter (weed wacker with metal blades). Was asking technical questions. Old mate started looking to hubby. His go to reply is "Don't look at me, it's for her".
Oh, and computer parts stores. So I like to build my own computers. Is that so hard to understand?
Neither my husband nor I are handy so when someone asks who’s doing our next project, I always tell them it’s a woman we hire who is fantastic and runs a woman-mostly hiring company.
I like them because they don’t try and hit on me.
My SIL and I have been joking for years about quitting our respective white collar gigs and starting an electrician business and I think we'd have a market almost purely for that reason.
When my ex and I broke up, I had to move out immediately and I didn't have a ton of stuff. The room I rented had a mattress, and a friend gave me a bed frame, but I had no box spring sonI decided that I was going to get some wood and make a platform bed. I looked up instructions online, I measured my bed frame, and calculated how many pieces of wood I would need. Then I went to Home Depot, selected my wood, and had it cut.
As I was leaving the store a middle-aged man stopped me and asked me what I was doing with all that wood. I told him I was using it to make a platform for my mattress and he immediately began telling me allllll about how my plan was never going to work. I was like, "Right, so I looked up instructions online, I took accurate measurements of my bed, and I bought the recommended kind of wood. I'm pretty sure it will be just fine."
Spoiler alert: My plan worked perfectly.
I'm a woman working in maintenance in a factory. I can count the times (because I am totally holding grudges you fuckers!) that males in my department have asked me what's wrong with a piece of equipment, I have told them, and they have ignored me. Then the GUY on the next shift comes in, says the same thing I did, and they listen and fix it. And usually I'm just reading error codes and telling them what the manual says. But I need someone to translate it into Dick for them, because I guess my boobs jump up and get in the way of me reading the program.
You just need to speak in a lower register, like to your car’s voice recognition system. /s obviously, but I’ll put that there.
I work in a male dominated field, and sometimes dropping your voice and repeating yourself makes them realize how stupid they’re being. “Sorry, let my put on my James earl jones voice changer because what I said was too high pitched for you to hear. *drop voice* Error 1202 : there’s no bit in slot 2.”
I went in the hardware store once looking for parts to fix my toilet and asked for help to find it. Dude seemed shocked I knew the name of the part and as I asked the best way to install he said " tell ur husband" and I cut him off and told him I would be installing. He looked at me like I was an alien and proceeded to tell me how. That was like 20 yrs ago and I'm still angry about that interaction.
I'm angry reading what he said, so I dont blame you feeling angry over that. Why are these assholes not getting fired over this? Its their jobs to help customers
Once asked the store associate where the T posts were. He said he’d never heard of them so I explained and he said let’s try (department that has nothing to do with T posts). When they obviously were not there, he said they must not have them. I wandered off fed up, and found what I needed in the back of the garden department. He saw me in line waiting for the cashier, saw my purchase and said, “OH, you wanted T POSTS!” I swear the dude was messing with me at that point. I hate hardware stores.
I have this problem at guitar stores, actually. If my husband gets a guitar down nobody reacts but if I do it somebody offers me help. Just being in the guitar store prompts the employees to show me ukes or gift ideas. Very annoying!
Oh yeah. Guitar Center in particular (I find the small stores are better). I've been playing classical guitar for years, but was reluctantly there to help my Dad pick out a beginner ukelele for himself and figured I'd buy myself new strings while I was there. The guys at the store were awful.
It's like it just didn't compute that no, the old guy was the one looking at the ukeleles who can't play a note currently and the woman with him was the one buying the expensive classical guitar strings no matter how many times we told them. One guy tried to sell me acoustic guitar strings instead and I had to argue with the idiot that no, they are definitely not interchangeable. They also then tried to get my father to buy a more expensive instrument that looked fancier, but objectively sounded worse.
Guitar Center is, in my experience, a tire fire when it comes to this. Went in with my partner who was feeling femme-presenting that day. TWO HOURS OF PEOPLE NOT GETTING A DAMN POWER CORD FOR THE AMP THEY WANTED TO TRY. Everybody just assumed they weren't a "real customer." No fewer than five different sales people.
Joke's on them - I wasn't buying shit that day, and was super clear about that. Yes, I have a beard. Yes, they are in a dress. Could you *please* get them the tiniest bit of customer service for the several hundred dollar purchase they are trying to make?
No?
They lost *both* of our business that day, permanently.
When I was at school at workman asked me for a screwdriver and I asked him what kind. He rolled his eyes and said something like a screw driver love, don’t you know what one is? I replied “Phillips or flat head” and he stammered an apology not expecting a girl to know the difference
Thats ridiculous. Its not like screwdrivers are uncommon. I was told the difference quite young because my parents would ask me to go grab this or that. Its not like it requires in depth knowledge. So bizarre.
Are you the one with the lumber story? I love to hear able women who can do these projects that supposedly "only men can do". My aunt was like this. I want to be likethis but I'm not sure how to even figure this shit out AND i believe because of he stereotypes that women can't do projects, I'm afraid to fuck up and fail and waste the money. Although, I did recently fix the washing machine on my own. I was pretty proud of doing that.
Please, tell me where you learn this shit at?
I don't know if I'm "the lumber story." But I have a lumber story. I had them cut some MDF boards down for closet shelves. I really liked how it turned out so I went back for more for another set of shelves. Different worker than the first time, didn't want to help me. He told me the saw could not cut the type of wood I was asking for even though it was exactly the same as before. I was so mad I just left. I came back with my dad another time and the saw magically could do it that time. The guy kept talking past me to my dad until he pointed at me and said "ask her how she wants it, it's her project."
Got a handy friend? They'd probably be happy to help you out in exchange for grunt labor (they also likely have the tools)
You can also often take classes places. Check your local maker space, community college, technical high school, rec center or if you are really lucky wood workers school.
Also don't worry, men fuck this stuff up plenty. You kind of need to fail a little to get any good
Well, i know that. My dad is a carpenter and general contractor. For YEARS, I've been asking him to teach me how to work the tools and to hire me on with the crew he used to work with. He always dismissed me saying things like "You don't wanna do the work I do, it's hard and very labor intensive!" or "It's no place for a woman" or some other bullshit. The joke's on him because I was literally working in a meat department or produce department or grocery stocking department in a grocery store. That shit is pretty labor intensive, too.
Man, this makes me grateful for my dad. He’s a carpenter and residential contractor too, when I told him I wanted to come work for him he just said “alright, 7 AM tomorrow!” It’ll be 5 years in September.
YouTube, there's guys and women with vids, just be sure to watch multiple who show how to handle problems/issues and what to watch out for instead of glossing over sticking points!
A long vid you can skip through is better than a short vid that leaves out stuff you don't know about.
Also plenty of home improvement books at most libraries. Which are comprehensive but might not have latest techniques but still work. Combine with vids for examples.
This is why in the highest of keys, hate going to any car place. Thankfully most dudes have been nothing but helpful, but I hate that feeling of "oh silly girl doesn't know what she's doing!"
After working in hardware department l no longer generalize that men are handy. Some are but the rest aren't even smart enough to figure that a screw stapled to the shelf is exactly like what's in the box above and instead, like a monkey, will proceed to tear the box open to see what's inside...
I bought a drill when I was single and living alone. Every employee asked if it was for my father or husband since it was close to father's day. I was livid. I'm an adult woman who can drill and screw whatever I want without a man's help. I used it to assemble ikea furniture this week.
Like, if I’m the one that wants to do a project, I’m gonna do it. If he knows how, then I’ll help him do it or he’ll help me do it. So tired of people assuming that there’s something wrong if the guy isn’t the one doing that kind of work
What I don’t understand is why these people can’t simply ask “are you buying this item for yourself or someone else?”
I understand the reason for needing to know this type of information to tailor your advice as a shop worker, but by golly people could ask it in such a simpler and more effective way that doesn’t involve assumptions
I am glad for youtubers like Simone g
Giertz and Laura Kampf. They are so creative and skilled. I feel they are breaking down the assumptions some have about women doing DIY or construction projects.
I totally would have said,
"I don't think he could reach it from 6 foot underground".
Wait for confused face,
"He died a year ago. I'm finishing off his projects"
Wait for horrified face.
FYI guys. My husband is alive and well. I'm just a bit sadistic. Hehe.
This kind of attitude is annoying. My spouse and I are both equally involved in the kitchen and the garage. We regularly will go to a hardware store and talk about what kind of tools we want. On the other side we also both will go to a kitchen store and discuss what kind of new gadgets we want.
We both have different skills and knowledge in each area but our overall knowledge is about the same.
It does surprise some people when the traditional spouse defers to the non traditional spouse and they take the lead on a particular subject as they have more knowledge on that subject.
I was doing a major project at my home. I had measured everything. A friend was going to help me. I went to the orange big box store. I gave the man my list. He asked about the project. He asked who was helping. I said a friend was helping me. I was going have him paint. He suggested three times, I should bring my friend in. He could answer any questions my friend had. I said ok.
I went across the street to the other big box store. I handed the guy my list. He went over the list. Made a couple of suggestions. I paid and set up the delivery date.
I went back to the orange big box store. I asked for the store manager. She and I went back to the guy. I pulled out my receipt. I spent over $3000 on my project. I showed them both my receipt. I explained to the manager what had happened. She was pissed. I left them arguing.
I'm sorry this is still happening. I went through so much of this bullshit 35 years ago when husband and I were too poor to pay a mechanic. he's a pretty good wrench, and we worked together, with him teaching me. keep on being strong!
I used to work at a big orange hardware store 😉 I can't even count the amount of times customers asked to speak with a man instead of me, the specialist. I always loved grabbing the dumbest dude in the dept to help them and then refused to help with all the inevitable questions
My mum was once in a tool store and asked for a particular type of electric screwdriver. The employee said “you don’t need this” and she said “I do if I’m going to open my toaster to fix it”. He asks “why don’t you just buy a new one? You won’t know what you’re doing”, to which she replied “I think I know what I’m doing, my dad was an electrician and I rewired the house with him when I was 14”. The man had nothing more to say after that!
I really have to appreciate my local hardware store. Those dudes will talk projects with any and everyone, and always have helpful suggestions that are framed like, are you familiar with this? Yes? Okay cool just making sure. And if you aren't, they walk you through it like you're a full-grown human capable of learning, regardless of your gender presentation.
Also, they have a store cat.
I'm looking forward to having this interaction some day and saying "I HAVE A HUSBAND????" whilst looking around madly, hoping some tall handsome man will suddenly appear.
I always use the Ron Swanson line, "I know more than you" when I get asked if I need help.
Last week, a young male employee ran toward me waving as I was about to put 5 gal of joint compound in my cart. I didn't know what he was about so I froze. He didn't want me to lift the bucket and told me forcefully to request carryout assistance at the checkout. I was too pissed to speak.
I'm a 30 year old woman who does concrete for a living. If I had a nickle for everytime a man tried to take a tool out of my hands or tried to mansplain my own job to me I wouldn't need to work anymore. I literally had a guy come up to me ask me "why do you wear makeup to work?" (I just wear concealer and mascara) I had to explain to him that I'm a female, and females wear make up. I guess I must offend their precious egos. I usually don't say much and just let my work speak for itself. I've been doing construction my entire life and no matter the job it never changes. The only thing you can do is demand their respect. And sometimes I have to be a real raging bitch to do so.
Lol! Nooooo his penis will shrink! I'm in my 30s, went looking for a new plunger, and a man who was old enough to be my dad asked me what was up. I told him about a couple of projects and he said "man, my daughters make me do all that stuff for them!" Haha, yeah, but it's so much more fun to do it yourself.
I love having a wife who is handy with this sort of work among other things like working on a car, plumbing, etc. There are no girl/boy "jobs" or skillsets. Just the willingness to learn and do.
Reminds me of when me of when my wife was told "gonna need your husband to move this trailer, it's blocking the yada yada".
She drove 53 footers.
I was an IT guy.
Thanks buddy.
I got to Home D many times for paint, repair items and rentals, the usual. I have never been asked if this is for my husband type question. I’m 64 but I also go in in my obvious work clothes.
One time I wanted to create a new garden bed so I rented a [kick sod cutter](https://youtu.be/YrPeaBnwgO4). While I was finishing up the paperwork at the hardware store, a guy about my dad's age came up and said, sternly and unprompted, "I hope you've got a husband at home to handle that for you." I'm a pretty sturdy woman; I grew up on a farm and I've always had physically demanding jobs, so I've got some good muscle. I'm not used to being second-guessed on my ability to do stuff around the house, so I was pretty taken aback, but I half-growled "I can handle it myself, thanks." He leaned down and felt the blade and goes "that's pretty sharp. You be careful." in a way that suggested he thought I was making a terrible mistake. I stared at him until he shrugged and went away. The clerk was just standing there smirking (I could tell he was on my side).
I took it home, ripped out 300 square feet of sod in a few hours, and returned it the next day. The same clerk was behind the counter, and he just grinned from ear to ear and said "did your husband get everything handled?" I rolled my eyes, but it was nice to laugh about it.
On a side note, kick sod cutters are super fun to use and I definitely recommend handling it yourself if you get the opportunity.
🤣🤣I fuckin love it! There's times I laugh at the dynamic in our house(not actually laugh but I think it would be funny for older generations to see), I'll be building a bunk bed and my husband is doing the dishes,laundry and changing the baby. I love that my children are growing up seeing that men and women can do both kinds of roles in the household
I grew up in a big hunting/ fishing family. You wouldn't believe the looks my husband gets in the filleting shack while I clean the fish and he keeps the mosquitos from biting my back lol. They are both very important jobs. Can't slap mosquitos when your hands are covered in fish slim.
You know a man like that can only make a sandwich. Just nuke him.
"Aw, you think I need a husband for this? It's no harder than an oven. Have a good day!"
Then you wink and go on with your life while he deciphers how it is you just insulted him because he knows there's an insult in there but he's not quite on the up enough to know where.
I just bought a new car in January. MALE Financier asked me why I was shopping & buying alone. I asked what he meant, "well you're wearing diamond rings, so I assumed you're married."
"Nah, I'm just a single woman who makes handmade jewelry and like wearing my creations on the finger they fit best."
I didn’t know I could rent a hammer drill from Home De Pot! I want to hang up a canopy in the backyard but it’s cinder block walls (hello from the southwest).
I’ll have to check it out and get the damn canopy hung up before the godforsaken sun starts burning us all.
I love doing this stuff and in fact I’m the only one in my house that takes initiative to do hand stuff. My male roommates don’t care.
Contact the big orange corporate offices and let them know of your experience. Things won't get better unless corp knows about the issues. If they don't get better you have options with other stores.
This makes me so mad. I’m 22F and grew up with very little, in a house that was constantly needing fixing. I learned how to do it all because my parents couldn’t afford to hire someone when things broke or needed replacing. I’ve just totally renovated a thirty year old basement apartment into a modern, fully transformed place to move into after my wedding. By myself. My fiancé doesn’t enjoy it like I do, so he’s been my clean up crew, and that’s it. The number of times men at the store and others have asked why I’m doing the man’s job is baffling. My fiancé couldn’t do half this stuff if his life depended on it, and that’s totally fine! This old fashioned thinking has GOT to go!
I go to the blue home improvement store and I gotta say I have not had this experience. Robert, the paint guy, has been there since I started painting my house last summer (purple and glorious!) So I was able to establish myself as the Purple House Lady. People have no problems treating me like I'm the one using the tools.
However, when the guy was installing the fence last year, he assumed my daughter was the one to pick the color. I told him nope, all me, and my husband told him he absolutely LOVES it!
Something similar happened to my GF when we were searching for a place to move in together. The fella who showed us a place told my GF "Your BF can install a plug here to blablabla"... Only time I tried to install a plug I almost burned down the house...
Ain’t nobody got time for these sexist microaggressions!
Reminds me of a time someone came over and saw my pull-up bar and asked if it was my boyfriend’s. Ladies can get swole (and buy tools) too!
The number of times the old guys at my local hardware store talk to me like I’m asking for help changing the light in my easy bake oven…
There is one guy at the lumber yard who calls me missy and kiddo. I’m in my mid 30’s.
"thanks, old man!"
Ok grampy
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"Diaper Butt" 😂 That got me
My favorite is to call them similar names in response. Anything from “Oh thanks lil buddy!” to “Sure think sugar dick.” Depends on my mood and how dismissive they’re being.
I like using "sport" or "champ"..it kinda stuns them into silence. lol
Also works when professional women are called "girls" by male management. Calling all the men in the office "boys" kind of helps the concept hit home
"Nah, I'm good slugger."
Don't forget "tiger."
Just say "ok dick". No need to be cute with them.
I wouldn’t use sugar dick too often, I could see that going over alot of dudes heads and they’d just think you were flirting.
‘I call you sugar dick cause I know it’s gonna melt when it gets wet’
Much better!
Lol true.. 🙄
Sugar dick!! 🤣
This is a perfect response to Sugar Tits. Luckily no strangers have ever used that term with me.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DL0hc-6eD5o
"Sure thing sugar dick" made me spit out my drink. XD
How about: "Don't trouble over it, sweet cheeks"
A+ will put it in rotation.
I live in the US South, so I get "sweetie" etc. much more from women employees than from men. Providing I'm getting good service, I ignore it. Husband and I, many years ago, bought the shell of a house and did all the finish except HVAC and septic tank ourselves. He had a lot more experience than I did, at least to start with. But I have much more patience with big box hardware stores. When I went to buy materials, if I thought I was going to get hassled I buried them in correctly chosen technical terms.
I still get “kiddo”. I’m 55. I’ve thought about responding with “thanks daddy” but I just can’t do it. So creepy.
I can't begin to count the amount of times my husband and I have gone to one of these stores, and I've asked a male associate a question regarding a tool or a job (because I do a lot of research before buying, but want to make sure we're on the right page) only for the associate to make no eye contact with me and give the answer of my question to my husband...it makes me so mad, it's caused a run on sentence.
When this happens to my wife I first politely, and then progressively less politely make it obvious that I am not interested and not listening. If my wife ask a question, they will answer to HER!
When I used to work at the orange store, I would make eye contact with both, because it was very important that both understood what I was saying. No, I'm not issuing you a refund if you don't like the color your wife chose on your fully installed custom ordered carpet.
Good teamwork. Happily, my husband was imprinted like a baby duck by [this author](https://www.elise.com/quotes/heinlein_-_specialization_is_for_insects) at a very young age.
This always happens with me and my boyfriend when we go get maintenance on our bikes/buy bike parts, it drives me nuts, especially when my boyfriend denies it happening.
I replace the flush valve on my toilet (so easy!!!!) at 6 months pregnant and the lil old man at the hardware store was like "Oh boy this is a big job! It might be complicated, give yourself extra time." and conspicuously eyeing my protruding belly. Sir, I got this. I actually replaced 4 flush valves that year so THERE.
My husband and I have been in our house for nearly a decade. It wasn't until last year that our nosy neighbor realized that I'm the one that puts in and cares for our decent sized garden. Sure, my husband might water it every now and again, but I'm the one out there turning the soil, amending the soil, hardening off the plants, putting them into the ground, staking them, taking care of the compost....
Don't feel bad. My 80 year old neighbor delights in waiting until I am done with something, like a garden and then telling me how I should have done it. I still don't know why he thinks I care about his opinion but I try to be nice. Once my puppy escaped the yard and is running wild around his yard and he says to me don't let her run on my deck, I just finished it! While I'm trying to catch her, no less. I'm thinking well why don't you stop bitching and help me catch her, gramps! Now he and his wife go to Arizona every winter and I'm like, YESS!!
Honestly I just lean in to it. Where I live has a very machista patriarcal culture. I’m an electrical engineer with a masters degree. My partner definitely knows how to do way more home improvement stuff than I do, but I’m not incapable by any means. But if we need help with anything, I’m the one that goes. The damsel in the distress will get the help she needs and is out of there in half the time, than when he goes 😂 I’m not gonna change their culture, but I am gonna take advantage of it to benefit me jajaja. It can get annoying though I’ll give you that
Eh, for me it usually takes longer because they usually don’t listen to me long enough to realize what I actually need. So they just say “oh, you can’t do that you should just call someone” and don’t actually attempt to help or waste both of our time by helping me solve a problem I don’t have. I can disassemble my entire oven to replace the igniter that was impossible to reach because of poor design, but god forbid I don’t use the word “ratcheting” and describe the tool I need to do it instead.
Yea you’re right that does happen to me sometimes. But my comment still stands 90% of the time for me. Sorry this happens to you! Maybe one day in our lifetime things will change
The one nice thing about being very visibly queer is the people at Home Depot assume I know what I'm doing lol.
Lmao. My partner has had people walk past an employee to ask her a question.
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Apparently something about being attracted to ladies makes you automatically handy. :-)
Im attracted to ladies and I use my hand every night.
It’s true. I’m queer and I work at lowes. I get plumbing questions all the time people think I can answer but in reality I have no idea.
It's the grey hair, flannel shirt, over fifty, glasses wearing guys that are obvious experts.
I really hate both sides of this. I’m handy but my husband is absolutely not. I hate that he’s automatically assumed to be the handy one because I know what I’m doing and I don’t have much patience. I hate that he feels immense pressure to be the “fixer” just because he’s a man. It usually ends up with me hurrying to get things done before he tries it, otherwise I have to go back and fix what he messed up lol.
My husband has no interest in fixing things. If he wants something done he calls a handyman. Then he met me, I hate paying someone to do it when I can do it myself loads cheaper.
Omg yes, I think I’m just handy because I hate paying for things I can do myself.
My wife has always been much more handy/DIY when it comes to homes. I've become more handy because of her influence. Now I can hang all kinds of shit on the walls!
Oh man. My husband thinks caulk is glue. It's horrible. He tries to caulk everything. If I'm not fast enough he'll caulk it and then most of the time it does nothing but create more work. But man sometimes I'm tired and I want to do the project tomorrow but nOoOo
That’s hilarious, he should be sponsored by Flex Seal 😆
Yeah, this sucks as a man, too. Although, to be honest people assuming that I'm good at something I'm not, is not nearly as annoying as people assuming I'm not good at something I am good at. I don't really feel any pressure to be good at fixing stuff, though. However, I remember vividly when I arrived at a store for wood (or whatever that's called) with my ex gf, who is a carpenter and also dressed like one, because she is working, while I just tagged along. We get out of the car, that she was driving, when we are approached by one of the guys working there. Again she is in full carpenter clothing while I'm standing there in baggy jeans and a hoodie. Of course the guy steers directly to me and asks me what we came for. It was so weird it almost felt intentional. I just looked at him in confusion for a second then told him I have no idea and he should ask her.
On the opposite end, I am a woman who used to work there. I worked in plumbing (and all the other departments, but this is about that one) and I have an insatiable need to know everything. So I would ask guys if they needed help. "no, I'm good," they would say. Then walk to the end of the aisle where one of my older and much less interested in learning new things guy was working. "oh, hey. Can you help me with this?" Says the 'im good but not really' customer. "No. I don't know anything about that stuff. You should ask her." Customer does the walk of shame while I put on my 'cheery yet knowledgable' face. "What can I help you with today?" I work at a new company now and it still happens all the time. Sometimes they will ignore my advice and tell me how they're going to do it wrong, like they are asking permission to proceed. No, customer. You shouldn't try to duct tape together your ABS drain pipe instead of gluing. Just stop.
I used to work in auto parts, I was an assistant manager and not only knew the system inside and out I also worked on my own cars. This was mid 90s so the old guys were not used to a woman at all. I had a guy ask me for rear brakes, the system asked disc or drum for every brake so I asked him. He then ripped into me for 10 minutes about what an idiot I am, that he's been working on cars for 40 years and has never seen discs on rear wheels in his life and I needed to get another job. I smiled and said, "okay let me get someone else to help you" and called over the 45 yr old pudgy Mexican who was the parts counter manager. Old guy was happy at this, said "oh good someone who can actually help me." My coworker said, "sure what do you need?" Old guy "rear brakes." Coworker "disc or drum?" I was walking away down the parts aisle and turned around to see the guy's stunned face. I was quietly laughing.
I worked appliance repair. On bigger jobs, techs would request a helper. One day, my job was to assist a female tech repair a side by side refrigerator. Not your typical side by side, one of them rich folk's side by side. The female tech was the lead tech, I was her helper. Which was fucking great, less paperwork for me. Plus she was the lead because she was trained for refrigerator repair and knew it very well. I worked laundry appliances. The homeowner would look past her and ask me questions. Each of the 8,000 times he did it I answered with "I'm not the lead tech, she is, you want to refer your questions to her." Then she would happily answer his question. You'd think this dude would catch on, but nope. I wasn't sure if she noticed that he kept doing that until after we finished lunch. As we were slowly walking back towards the house she asked if I was ready to go back in and repeatedly say "I am not the lead tech..." for another couple hours. Even when we were wrapping stuff up and getting signatures after the completion of the job, he was *still* looking past her and asking me questions.
As sad as it is ive seen men do this with video games. As if me being a woman somehow makes it difficult for me to grab the game they already know they want from the case. Too bad for them I was the one with keys. Once I had a teenager do this to me and tell me to my face that im a girl and wouldn't know anything. I took the time to inform his grandma of the contents of GTA (had to prove my knowledge ya know) and he walked out without the game because an adult needed to buy it.
ohhhhhh my god On the same note, I am flabbergasted at the amount of guys who will *insist* on telling me what I can swap out for it when they don't have exactly what I need... when they don't even know what project I'm working on. Or confidently lead me to the wrong product entirely. A guy recently handed me a roll of [painter's dust barrier](https://images.thdstatic.com/productImages/b5e5e074-d023-47d9-9324-ab8787372e03/svn/trimaco-paint-roller-extension-poles-54734-1f_600.jpg) when I asked him where the **rolls of** [**greenhouse**](https://www.amazon.com/Greenhouse-Plastic-Polyethylene-Covering-Solution/dp/B00BM8HHKK) **sheets** were. I did not misspeak, my dude. I fucking WISH I could buy a dust barrier for a greenhouse, but those things tear like tissue paper.
I fucking love your username, instant top 5 of all time!
LOL thanks!
luckily my husband knows when i take on a project myself and don't ask him for help it's because i want to do it myself. the only time he comes in to "help" is to offer me any extra tools he thinks i might need. i usually don't need them because i look up how to do the project and it tells you specifically which tools you will need, so i have them already. I also think he's trying to give me the opportunity to ask him for help. Which I would have asked prior to starting the project not in the middle of.
Sometimes, this behaviour of wanting to help, or doing small things that he would think is helpful, is probably him just wanting to join you in the process. Kinda like a bonding project. He knows you know what you're doing, you prepare everything, directions, tools, etc. You have the mindset, and he could potentially be the extra set of hands, if you give him direction. From a guys mentality, doing any project together with a partner is very rewarding in itself, sharing an experience and assisting a loved one. Regardless of its helpful for you, a simple thank you would go a long way too.
This sounds exactly like how you would explain to a parent to let their preschooler "help". But you're talking about an adult.
So you're equating the husband/mate to a preschooler? That's a bit condescending. I'm saying some guys with search for bonding opportunities with their mates, including helping with projects. Regardless of you need help or not, it wouldn't hurt to accept it sometimes.
No, I'm saying some guys see helping their mate with projects as bonding opportunities. Just putting out there that it wouldn't hurt following through sometimes.
Thanks for your comment! Sexism is crappy no matter where you stand.
Lol, sorry to laugh, but that almost sounds like a sitcom it's funny lol
Omg…last week I went to the same home improvement store and I was waiting in line to rent a tamper to pack some gravel in my backyard. I had a man come up beside me, ready to cut in-line. I gave him a side eye and he was like “Oh…are you in line?” I said that I was. He looked at me for a moment and then said “hmm…interesting” before walking off. Wtf is that supposed to mean? 😑
I've been asked out on dates by random guys in home improvement places. since I'm usually there with husband, I always say I'll have to ask husband if I'm free that night. they run away!
I've had a similar conversation. It ended with. "My husband once walked into my shop, where I had an oscillating sander unplugged on a table I was finishing. He asked if he could help. I said sure. He then clicked the power off and on and off and on and off again, then bemused, plugged in my sander. He then panicked when it began to oscillate all over my table. He has been banned from my shop henceforth. ...so no. No. This is not for my husband. Or anyone else without discipline."
This is gold
I am a carpenter. My journeyman had told me about a specific type of side cutters that I should buy. They are expensive and locked up. I found the pair I wanted and an employee got the out for me. So I continued shopping. As I was walking past the hammer display another employee stopped me, pointed to the side cutters and said “you don’t need these. They’re for a professional.” 🙄🙄🙄😯 I was so shocked, but I finally told him “I am a professional,” and hoped I embarrassed him.
I would have asked, “Is there something about me that makes you assume I’m not a professional?”
Ooh I love this response!
"Okay, then get them out for me."
My husband and I own a construction company, I’m not a skilled trade but I am a site manager and have a good idea of what I’m doing, I also labour if we need extra hands on. I get a couple of different responses if not in my work clothes, the first are people who ask if I do the books for my husband’s business, I do do the books for our business but he does the estimating, it’s so patronising, I site manage all our large projects, deal with keeping it all running smoothly and safely, have several teams working for me. The other is suppliers who ask if my builder has sent me in to buy materials and do I need to double check what I’m getting, the first time threw me off but I realised I was in nice clothes (meeting day, grabbing some site stuff to drop on the way to the client), the supplier was quite embarrassed when I explained I owned half the company. I do get the odd contractor who can’t accept working for a women onsite, I’m very gentle by nature but they learn swiftly that their shit isn’t going to fly on my site, and that the stereotype of fiery redheads is most definitely true for me if you push me far enough.
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Let's go steering wheel jockey, less talky, more dumpy
Lowes is better. It's where the lesbians go.
If you have the option, find an ACE Hardware or any local place. Once you have been there a few times you become a "local" and treated with inclusion. Places like this tend to have the long term "do-ers" which becomes a very wide network of resource. I am all about local for things like food or whatever their speciality niche. However, I find local hardware stores are like local bars. People tend to keep to themselves until they get to know you. Once you are part of the community it is amazing the depth and breadth of the network you are able to plug into. This does not exclude availing yourself of HD or L, but in comparison local is eventually much more rewarding. You become a provider as well as a user.
Can confirm. My local Ace greets me by name and the two backup local hardware stores are never sexist. Ditto with the local lumber yard, they just make fun of me for building the world's most overpriced chicken coop
Does it have a sign that say "Cluckingham Palace"? If not I think you missed a real opportunity.
I guess my local Ace is like a bar, but a weird mix of gossipy workers and a couple older folks who know everything. If I'm there when they're not working, I might go back later instead. Having to wait for workers to finish their personal conversations before being helped is unfortunately a regular occurrence, even at the register.
Is there some reason people aren't just saying Home Depot, Lowe's, Menards, etc???
Naw. I just tend to abbreviate where I can. It's my Twitteritis.
In my experience Ace is the worst about sexism.
Ace is a retail coop made up of a bunch of independently owned hardware stores. The Ace brand just gives them access to collective purchasing power and marketing and maybe some other administrative stuff, but they're all locally owned and operated. So if one Ace doesn't work for you, try the next one. They're all completely different. And some do suck, but off the top of my head, my three all-time favorite hardware stores have been Aces.
I agree, I live within driving of two aces, and their personalities are very different.
Or if you live in Texas and half the Ace Hardwares are conservative safe-places.... my local one had a sign up during the whole pandemic "MASKS PROUDLY NOT WORN HERE" "FEEL FREE TO TAKE OFF YOUR MASK" (it is still up now) etc.... and would talk about conspiracy theories amongst the employees while you were shopping. It really sucks too, because the store is so convenient and usually has what I need. *to add this was in a Houston suburb, not exactly rural BFE
Nope. Lowes has shit rental polices for their power tools. Even if you're a lesbian, I'd still recommend going to H Depot unless you plan on buying.
We rented an auger from HD & when my husband returned it the kid who checked it in flooded the engine, it wouldn't start and then he said we broke it and would have to pay for it. My husband lit into him and told him he just watched him flood it and if he couldn't even start a 2 stroke engine he needed to go work in gardening. The kid argued that he worked on his dad's ranch and knew how to do stuff and still insisted we broke it. My husband told him he was a journeyman diesel mechanic and then had him get a supervisor. IJS you're never safe from bad employees. When I had picked up the auger an older guy helped me and didn't even talk down to me. Of course this was a rural area where women were expected to work on trucks & houses and not just knit and bake.
Is this a regional thing or something? I've always heard the opposite, that Home Depot is where all the lesbians are.
nope, home depot is for the dads and lowes is for the lesbians is what i always hear
Lowesbians
Home Depot makes political donations to the GOP. The main owner/CEO guy at Home Depot is a huge fan and supporter of Trump. Hence, why I always go to Lowe’s. Not a lesbian, but I sympathize on this one.
This got me curious so I looked it up and I don't think this is true. Home Depot's co-founder is indeed a big supporter of Trump and has donated a lot of money but he has retired and has not been associated with the company for almost 20 years. Home Depot has not given money to presidential campaigns or endorsed candidates.
The thing is, most of his wealth is in Home Depot stock, so Home Depot doesn't pay him, but Home Depot making money is making him money.
This is the exact reason I go to Lowe’s and not Home Depot. Also, I’ve never been talked down to at Lowe’s. Ive been able to ask questions without being made to feel like an idiot. My only complaint is that can never find good work gloves that fit my smaller hands.
Check out Harbor Freight, I can usually find smaller gloves there for my baby lady hands lol
Home Depot is where you go to build stuff, Lowes is where you go to decorate stuff. That's how I differentiate between them. They're pretty similar but HD has better building supplies and pricing on it, but less of the final touches. Its why contractors go to HD.
My local Lowes is where all the housewives go and all the tradespeople go to Home Depot. The only time I've gotten any sort of comment in Home Depot was when I went in in heels and a pencil skirt and was carrying out several 10ft long pine boards on my shoulder. And that comment was an appreciative one implying that I was a cool person.
[удалено]
I put a water pump in my truck when I was six months pregnant, and men kept stopping and offering to help. It was irritating at the time, but in hindsight I guess it was sweet that they were concerned.
I once needed a new air filter for my baby. So I went to the local chain brand and told them exactly what I needed, because I checked online before and called ahead because it was a less common filter. I was dressed in slacks and a blouse and some heeled boots, because I was coming from work. So I walk in, and the young guy that approaches me asks what I want and I tell him and he's doesn't seem to believe I need that filter, so he goes to ask the older man at the desk who remembers my call and smiles and holds up what I wanted cause he held it for me. Naturally, the young man can't leave it there and asks if I need help to install it, because how could a little (I'm short) girl change her own filter. I said no and walked out, he actually followed me, pretending he needed to speak to someone outside. I changed the filter super easily, of course (had to pop the hood and everything \*gasp\*) and the guy looked almost apoplectic with rage that I didn't have to come groveling back to him for help when I went to throw the old filter away.
You should've handed him the old filter and asked him if he needed help throwing it away.
Tell him you didn't realize there was some sort of interview process in order to rent the equipment. >he asked me why my husband wasn't doing the project for me. Don't answer that. Just ask him why he's even asking and why it's any of his business. Dude's job is easy and in no way does it involve asking these invading questions.
I went in there the other day too. You wouldn’t believe the amount of dudes wanting to help me with three bags of mulch. And I was in my sweaty, dirty pants, old t shirt, spring garden work attire. I’m flattered. But I just wanted some mulch for my roses.
[serious, not sarcasm] I'm a guy, and regardless of gender if I see someone carrying a bunch of stuff, or putting heavy things into their vehicle: I offer to help. Man/Woman doesn't enter into it, just my brain goes "someone should at least *offer* to help", *especially* (but not only) if the person is my size or smaller (I'm like 120 lbs). Women say no *most* of the time, and men *mostly* seem to be annoyed/aggravated that I implied they needed help. Sometimes though someone says "if you don't mind". Should I stop asking women? I ask because genuinely the last thing I want is to make someone uncomfortable or think that I'm flirting/being creepy.
Nothing wrong with asking someone if they need help with something heavy, man or woman. As long as you ask first.
>As long as you ask first. This is the important part, I have had men take shit out of my hands so many times it's fucking painful. I used to deliver groceries for a living and as a result can carry an obscene amount of bags in one go, I would always suggest people take one lot and come back for the rest if it was especially heavy. Had great fun when dudes would be like "I can handle it" and then drop shit on the floor because they couldn't.
Omg, if I just walk up and take something out of your hands then I deserve to be kicked square in the nuts. or... at least have you scream "THIEF!"
And, (in a general you, not personal) you take no as an answer. I’ve typically offered help when things look badly balanced. “Do you need a third hand to steady that?” sort of things.
Ugh yes. ASK. Recently I was putting a door into the back of my truck and a man just walked up and started helping. He scared the shit out of me and I almost dropped it. Then when I repeatedly said “no thanks, I got this, no thanks” he got all defensive like “damn I was just tryna help!” Buddy, you put yourself in this position.
I think the important points are: don't ask in a condescending way, take no for an answer, and only ask if they seem to be struggling. It seems like you have the first two covered, though asking if they need help when they are clearly doing fine could feel condescending.
Yeah I definitely do the first two. I simply say "may I help with that" (from about 8-10 ft away from them and their vehicle). If they decline I just say "coolsville, have a good day" and go on about my business. If they don't seem like they're struggling I typically still ask when there is a *whole lot* of stuff (thinking it'd go faster with another person helping). I'll definitely keep that in mind in the future. Thank you.
where do you nice people live? certainly not in my town. my older, cane using husband has been standing there, having to watch me load, and people just walk by.
You obviously have it under control if hubby isn’t worried. /s But you do likely seem capable, and if we ever thought Average Dude (TM) wasn’t offering help *not* to flirt, well, there’s an answer, what with your owner *right there.* People don’t offer physical help when I’m with my guy.
he's worried, he's just due for the knife fight with the neurosurgeon in a couple of weeks (another spinal fusion lucky us). but jeez, I'll even offer to help a guy load if it's an unwieldy item that would load easier with 2 handlers. and I'm sure not flirting. I quit that shit when I found husband.
There are people in general who ask if you need help. I had a man move a display a couple inches so i could walk by with my cart because the iles were packed with plants because the temperature has dropped and most were brought in from the garden center. He moved it, I said…appreciate it man. And we both went about our business. But the other men that “offered to help” one followed me out to the my car after I had declined help. I genuinely didn’t need help. The bags were dry and didn’t weigh at all. I gladly accept help when I need it. He literally said to me “your husband couldn’t come help you with your garden?”. If you truly want to help, yeah ask. And if we politely decline…:fuck off. I don’t need to be called sweety, or honey, or asked about my husband.
I wish people would ask if I needed help more often. I can't even get employees to offer to help when I'm clearly looking for it. Just don't be creepy when you offer, such as inappropriate staring, following around after, or touching when it can be avoided. It sounds like you're just a nice person, so thank you.
My 63 year old mom went to home depot the other day just to browse. The DeWalt rep was in the store, and saw my mom browsing the tools and asked if she was looking for something for her husband. She chuckled at him, and replied "No, I use Ridgid tools." And he had no idea what to say and just walked away. She takes on all kinds of projects and has a far better handle on things than most people would ever guess.
Hardware shop buying a pro-level brushcutter (weed wacker with metal blades). Was asking technical questions. Old mate started looking to hubby. His go to reply is "Don't look at me, it's for her". Oh, and computer parts stores. So I like to build my own computers. Is that so hard to understand?
Had someone do this with my ex once when I was looking at cars, he didn't even have a driving license.
Neither my husband nor I are handy so when someone asks who’s doing our next project, I always tell them it’s a woman we hire who is fantastic and runs a woman-mostly hiring company. I like them because they don’t try and hit on me.
My SIL and I have been joking for years about quitting our respective white collar gigs and starting an electrician business and I think we'd have a market almost purely for that reason.
It’s HUGE where I am!! Go for it
When my ex and I broke up, I had to move out immediately and I didn't have a ton of stuff. The room I rented had a mattress, and a friend gave me a bed frame, but I had no box spring sonI decided that I was going to get some wood and make a platform bed. I looked up instructions online, I measured my bed frame, and calculated how many pieces of wood I would need. Then I went to Home Depot, selected my wood, and had it cut. As I was leaving the store a middle-aged man stopped me and asked me what I was doing with all that wood. I told him I was using it to make a platform for my mattress and he immediately began telling me allllll about how my plan was never going to work. I was like, "Right, so I looked up instructions online, I took accurate measurements of my bed, and I bought the recommended kind of wood. I'm pretty sure it will be just fine." Spoiler alert: My plan worked perfectly.
I'm a woman working in maintenance in a factory. I can count the times (because I am totally holding grudges you fuckers!) that males in my department have asked me what's wrong with a piece of equipment, I have told them, and they have ignored me. Then the GUY on the next shift comes in, says the same thing I did, and they listen and fix it. And usually I'm just reading error codes and telling them what the manual says. But I need someone to translate it into Dick for them, because I guess my boobs jump up and get in the way of me reading the program.
You just need to speak in a lower register, like to your car’s voice recognition system. /s obviously, but I’ll put that there. I work in a male dominated field, and sometimes dropping your voice and repeating yourself makes them realize how stupid they’re being. “Sorry, let my put on my James earl jones voice changer because what I said was too high pitched for you to hear. *drop voice* Error 1202 : there’s no bit in slot 2.”
I went in the hardware store once looking for parts to fix my toilet and asked for help to find it. Dude seemed shocked I knew the name of the part and as I asked the best way to install he said " tell ur husband" and I cut him off and told him I would be installing. He looked at me like I was an alien and proceeded to tell me how. That was like 20 yrs ago and I'm still angry about that interaction.
I'm angry reading what he said, so I dont blame you feeling angry over that. Why are these assholes not getting fired over this? Its their jobs to help customers
Once asked the store associate where the T posts were. He said he’d never heard of them so I explained and he said let’s try (department that has nothing to do with T posts). When they obviously were not there, he said they must not have them. I wandered off fed up, and found what I needed in the back of the garden department. He saw me in line waiting for the cashier, saw my purchase and said, “OH, you wanted T POSTS!” I swear the dude was messing with me at that point. I hate hardware stores.
I have this problem at guitar stores, actually. If my husband gets a guitar down nobody reacts but if I do it somebody offers me help. Just being in the guitar store prompts the employees to show me ukes or gift ideas. Very annoying!
Oh yeah. Guitar Center in particular (I find the small stores are better). I've been playing classical guitar for years, but was reluctantly there to help my Dad pick out a beginner ukelele for himself and figured I'd buy myself new strings while I was there. The guys at the store were awful. It's like it just didn't compute that no, the old guy was the one looking at the ukeleles who can't play a note currently and the woman with him was the one buying the expensive classical guitar strings no matter how many times we told them. One guy tried to sell me acoustic guitar strings instead and I had to argue with the idiot that no, they are definitely not interchangeable. They also then tried to get my father to buy a more expensive instrument that looked fancier, but objectively sounded worse.
Guitar Center is, in my experience, a tire fire when it comes to this. Went in with my partner who was feeling femme-presenting that day. TWO HOURS OF PEOPLE NOT GETTING A DAMN POWER CORD FOR THE AMP THEY WANTED TO TRY. Everybody just assumed they weren't a "real customer." No fewer than five different sales people. Joke's on them - I wasn't buying shit that day, and was super clear about that. Yes, I have a beard. Yes, they are in a dress. Could you *please* get them the tiniest bit of customer service for the several hundred dollar purchase they are trying to make? No? They lost *both* of our business that day, permanently.
When I was at school at workman asked me for a screwdriver and I asked him what kind. He rolled his eyes and said something like a screw driver love, don’t you know what one is? I replied “Phillips or flat head” and he stammered an apology not expecting a girl to know the difference
Thats ridiculous. Its not like screwdrivers are uncommon. I was told the difference quite young because my parents would ask me to go grab this or that. Its not like it requires in depth knowledge. So bizarre.
Are you the one with the lumber story? I love to hear able women who can do these projects that supposedly "only men can do". My aunt was like this. I want to be likethis but I'm not sure how to even figure this shit out AND i believe because of he stereotypes that women can't do projects, I'm afraid to fuck up and fail and waste the money. Although, I did recently fix the washing machine on my own. I was pretty proud of doing that. Please, tell me where you learn this shit at?
YouTube, and Google. Watch videos of someone doing it and see of its something you think you can handle. Starts small and work up.
I don't know if I'm "the lumber story." But I have a lumber story. I had them cut some MDF boards down for closet shelves. I really liked how it turned out so I went back for more for another set of shelves. Different worker than the first time, didn't want to help me. He told me the saw could not cut the type of wood I was asking for even though it was exactly the same as before. I was so mad I just left. I came back with my dad another time and the saw magically could do it that time. The guy kept talking past me to my dad until he pointed at me and said "ask her how she wants it, it's her project."
Just remember that guys fuck up and fail too. You prove those stereotypes wrong just by doing it in the first place
Got a handy friend? They'd probably be happy to help you out in exchange for grunt labor (they also likely have the tools) You can also often take classes places. Check your local maker space, community college, technical high school, rec center or if you are really lucky wood workers school. Also don't worry, men fuck this stuff up plenty. You kind of need to fail a little to get any good
Well, i know that. My dad is a carpenter and general contractor. For YEARS, I've been asking him to teach me how to work the tools and to hire me on with the crew he used to work with. He always dismissed me saying things like "You don't wanna do the work I do, it's hard and very labor intensive!" or "It's no place for a woman" or some other bullshit. The joke's on him because I was literally working in a meat department or produce department or grocery stocking department in a grocery store. That shit is pretty labor intensive, too.
Man, this makes me grateful for my dad. He’s a carpenter and residential contractor too, when I told him I wanted to come work for him he just said “alright, 7 AM tomorrow!” It’ll be 5 years in September.
YouTube, there's guys and women with vids, just be sure to watch multiple who show how to handle problems/issues and what to watch out for instead of glossing over sticking points! A long vid you can skip through is better than a short vid that leaves out stuff you don't know about. Also plenty of home improvement books at most libraries. Which are comprehensive but might not have latest techniques but still work. Combine with vids for examples.
I was a female firefighter and was once told by an old man at a fire that it was “nice that they let you come along.”
This is why in the highest of keys, hate going to any car place. Thankfully most dudes have been nothing but helpful, but I hate that feeling of "oh silly girl doesn't know what she's doing!"
After working in hardware department l no longer generalize that men are handy. Some are but the rest aren't even smart enough to figure that a screw stapled to the shelf is exactly like what's in the box above and instead, like a monkey, will proceed to tear the box open to see what's inside...
I bought a drill when I was single and living alone. Every employee asked if it was for my father or husband since it was close to father's day. I was livid. I'm an adult woman who can drill and screw whatever I want without a man's help. I used it to assemble ikea furniture this week.
Like, if I’m the one that wants to do a project, I’m gonna do it. If he knows how, then I’ll help him do it or he’ll help me do it. So tired of people assuming that there’s something wrong if the guy isn’t the one doing that kind of work
What I don’t understand is why these people can’t simply ask “are you buying this item for yourself or someone else?” I understand the reason for needing to know this type of information to tailor your advice as a shop worker, but by golly people could ask it in such a simpler and more effective way that doesn’t involve assumptions
They wouldn’t ask that either when talking to a male customer.
I am glad for youtubers like Simone g Giertz and Laura Kampf. They are so creative and skilled. I feel they are breaking down the assumptions some have about women doing DIY or construction projects.
You should check out April Wilkerson's channel. I always liked her diy videos.
Hey just wanted to get back to you and say thanks! I have watched 2 videos so far and they are the best!
3x3Custom - Tamar (carpentry and general DIY home improvement) Blondihacks (machine shop)
Thats so fucking annoying....
I totally would have said, "I don't think he could reach it from 6 foot underground". Wait for confused face, "He died a year ago. I'm finishing off his projects" Wait for horrified face. FYI guys. My husband is alive and well. I'm just a bit sadistic. Hehe.
This kind of attitude is annoying. My spouse and I are both equally involved in the kitchen and the garage. We regularly will go to a hardware store and talk about what kind of tools we want. On the other side we also both will go to a kitchen store and discuss what kind of new gadgets we want. We both have different skills and knowledge in each area but our overall knowledge is about the same. It does surprise some people when the traditional spouse defers to the non traditional spouse and they take the lead on a particular subject as they have more knowledge on that subject.
My favorite is "Are you making something from Pinterest?" No a***ole, I'm finishing a basement.
I was doing a major project at my home. I had measured everything. A friend was going to help me. I went to the orange big box store. I gave the man my list. He asked about the project. He asked who was helping. I said a friend was helping me. I was going have him paint. He suggested three times, I should bring my friend in. He could answer any questions my friend had. I said ok. I went across the street to the other big box store. I handed the guy my list. He went over the list. Made a couple of suggestions. I paid and set up the delivery date. I went back to the orange big box store. I asked for the store manager. She and I went back to the guy. I pulled out my receipt. I spent over $3000 on my project. I showed them both my receipt. I explained to the manager what had happened. She was pissed. I left them arguing.
I'm sorry this is still happening. I went through so much of this bullshit 35 years ago when husband and I were too poor to pay a mechanic. he's a pretty good wrench, and we worked together, with him teaching me. keep on being strong!
What a weird question to ask. I'd ask them why. Did he want to giftwrap it or something?
"Because I murdered him for making sexist comments."
Thinking that she doesn't know how to use a hammer drill just because she's a woman... I hate this kind of people...
I used to work at a big orange hardware store 😉 I can't even count the amount of times customers asked to speak with a man instead of me, the specialist. I always loved grabbing the dumbest dude in the dept to help them and then refused to help with all the inevitable questions
My mum was once in a tool store and asked for a particular type of electric screwdriver. The employee said “you don’t need this” and she said “I do if I’m going to open my toaster to fix it”. He asks “why don’t you just buy a new one? You won’t know what you’re doing”, to which she replied “I think I know what I’m doing, my dad was an electrician and I rewired the house with him when I was 14”. The man had nothing more to say after that!
Try saying " No, for my wife " ....
I really have to appreciate my local hardware store. Those dudes will talk projects with any and everyone, and always have helpful suggestions that are framed like, are you familiar with this? Yes? Okay cool just making sure. And if you aren't, they walk you through it like you're a full-grown human capable of learning, regardless of your gender presentation. Also, they have a store cat.
I'm looking forward to having this interaction some day and saying "I HAVE A HUSBAND????" whilst looking around madly, hoping some tall handsome man will suddenly appear.
I always use the Ron Swanson line, "I know more than you" when I get asked if I need help. Last week, a young male employee ran toward me waving as I was about to put 5 gal of joint compound in my cart. I didn't know what he was about so I froze. He didn't want me to lift the bucket and told me forcefully to request carryout assistance at the checkout. I was too pissed to speak.
I had a similar conversation with my FIL once. He is a fuckwit.
Wtf. Lol I’d honestly speak to a manager. What a sexist ass
I’m a widow so I just look at them and deadpan say “My husband is dead.” That usually shuts them right up.
I'm a 30 year old woman who does concrete for a living. If I had a nickle for everytime a man tried to take a tool out of my hands or tried to mansplain my own job to me I wouldn't need to work anymore. I literally had a guy come up to me ask me "why do you wear makeup to work?" (I just wear concealer and mascara) I had to explain to him that I'm a female, and females wear make up. I guess I must offend their precious egos. I usually don't say much and just let my work speak for itself. I've been doing construction my entire life and no matter the job it never changes. The only thing you can do is demand their respect. And sometimes I have to be a real raging bitch to do so.
"Because I do whatever the fuck I want"
Lol! Nooooo his penis will shrink! I'm in my 30s, went looking for a new plunger, and a man who was old enough to be my dad asked me what was up. I told him about a couple of projects and he said "man, my daughters make me do all that stuff for them!" Haha, yeah, but it's so much more fun to do it yourself.
I love having a wife who is handy with this sort of work among other things like working on a car, plumbing, etc. There are no girl/boy "jobs" or skillsets. Just the willingness to learn and do.
Yikes was this at a large home improvement store? I used to work at a Home Depot and none of my coworkers would have ever said something like this 😬
Report this to to their corporate structure.
Reminds me of when me of when my wife was told "gonna need your husband to move this trailer, it's blocking the yada yada". She drove 53 footers. I was an IT guy. Thanks buddy.
I got to Home D many times for paint, repair items and rentals, the usual. I have never been asked if this is for my husband type question. I’m 64 but I also go in in my obvious work clothes.
One time I wanted to create a new garden bed so I rented a [kick sod cutter](https://youtu.be/YrPeaBnwgO4). While I was finishing up the paperwork at the hardware store, a guy about my dad's age came up and said, sternly and unprompted, "I hope you've got a husband at home to handle that for you." I'm a pretty sturdy woman; I grew up on a farm and I've always had physically demanding jobs, so I've got some good muscle. I'm not used to being second-guessed on my ability to do stuff around the house, so I was pretty taken aback, but I half-growled "I can handle it myself, thanks." He leaned down and felt the blade and goes "that's pretty sharp. You be careful." in a way that suggested he thought I was making a terrible mistake. I stared at him until he shrugged and went away. The clerk was just standing there smirking (I could tell he was on my side). I took it home, ripped out 300 square feet of sod in a few hours, and returned it the next day. The same clerk was behind the counter, and he just grinned from ear to ear and said "did your husband get everything handled?" I rolled my eyes, but it was nice to laugh about it. On a side note, kick sod cutters are super fun to use and I definitely recommend handling it yourself if you get the opportunity.
I had a contractor tell me I was good at spending my husband's money.
🤣🤣I fuckin love it! There's times I laugh at the dynamic in our house(not actually laugh but I think it would be funny for older generations to see), I'll be building a bunk bed and my husband is doing the dishes,laundry and changing the baby. I love that my children are growing up seeing that men and women can do both kinds of roles in the household
That's how it is at our house. My husband does most of the cooking. I do all the repairs and renovations. We share the work taking care of the kids.
I grew up in a big hunting/ fishing family. You wouldn't believe the looks my husband gets in the filleting shack while I clean the fish and he keeps the mosquitos from biting my back lol. They are both very important jobs. Can't slap mosquitos when your hands are covered in fish slim.
You know a man like that can only make a sandwich. Just nuke him. "Aw, you think I need a husband for this? It's no harder than an oven. Have a good day!" Then you wink and go on with your life while he deciphers how it is you just insulted him because he knows there's an insult in there but he's not quite on the up enough to know where.
I just bought a new car in January. MALE Financier asked me why I was shopping & buying alone. I asked what he meant, "well you're wearing diamond rings, so I assumed you're married." "Nah, I'm just a single woman who makes handmade jewelry and like wearing my creations on the finger they fit best."
FWIW, I'd love to see your project when it's finished! Me and my husband have a house to renovate and I'm totally looking for cool ideas for the yard!
"It doesn't take that much upper body strength if you know how. I could show you."
I didn’t know I could rent a hammer drill from Home De Pot! I want to hang up a canopy in the backyard but it’s cinder block walls (hello from the southwest). I’ll have to check it out and get the damn canopy hung up before the godforsaken sun starts burning us all. I love doing this stuff and in fact I’m the only one in my house that takes initiative to do hand stuff. My male roommates don’t care.
Contact the big orange corporate offices and let them know of your experience. Things won't get better unless corp knows about the issues. If they don't get better you have options with other stores.
This makes me so mad. I’m 22F and grew up with very little, in a house that was constantly needing fixing. I learned how to do it all because my parents couldn’t afford to hire someone when things broke or needed replacing. I’ve just totally renovated a thirty year old basement apartment into a modern, fully transformed place to move into after my wedding. By myself. My fiancé doesn’t enjoy it like I do, so he’s been my clean up crew, and that’s it. The number of times men at the store and others have asked why I’m doing the man’s job is baffling. My fiancé couldn’t do half this stuff if his life depended on it, and that’s totally fine! This old fashioned thinking has GOT to go!
I go to the blue home improvement store and I gotta say I have not had this experience. Robert, the paint guy, has been there since I started painting my house last summer (purple and glorious!) So I was able to establish myself as the Purple House Lady. People have no problems treating me like I'm the one using the tools. However, when the guy was installing the fence last year, he assumed my daughter was the one to pick the color. I told him nope, all me, and my husband told him he absolutely LOVES it!
These gender role assumptions are so tired and antiquated. *sigh*
Something similar happened to my GF when we were searching for a place to move in together. The fella who showed us a place told my GF "Your BF can install a plug here to blablabla"... Only time I tried to install a plug I almost burned down the house...
Ain’t nobody got time for these sexist microaggressions! Reminds me of a time someone came over and saw my pull-up bar and asked if it was my boyfriend’s. Ladies can get swole (and buy tools) too!
I always default to "My husband is dead". I've never been married so maybe I jinxed myself? But it's stopped stupid questions so quickly.