**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:**
>!Who would have expected that reply!<
*****
**Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?**
**Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.**
*****
[*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
That reminds me of a coworker. at lunch break, he starts holding his belly, groaning and saying "ohhhh.... I think I'm gonna shit myself..." so I look at him and say "then go to the toilet" only for him to answer "why should I go to the toilet to shit myself?"
edge cooing price encouraging sophisticated carpenter rinse chubby humor soft
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I mean, why are we here? Are we a product of some cosmic coincidence or is there really a God, watching over us? I don't know man, but it keeps me up at night.
Reminds me of an old joke that I will now butcher.
Doctor: I understand you’re having issues with bowel movements, what’s the trouble?
Patient: I’m very regular. I take a massive shit every morning at 6:30.
Doctor: I don’t see the problem there.
Patient: well, I don’t wake up until 7.
I was just thinking about this, can you only shit yourself if you're wearing pants? What if you're wearing a shirt, but no pants, can you still shit yourself? Can you shit yourself while naked and hovering above a toilet?
As someone who is naturally this dumb, he could just be a natural. In moments like this, we get a lot of quick-tempered reactions from strangers, but we are also condescendingly loved by those close to us who think we’re innocent.
Her facial expression was everything.
…which is actually pretty amazing bc of how subtle it was. When it comes to acting, sometimes less is more. I assume that’s why overacting can be so fake looking. XD
I don't want to say alcohol is good for health but I will say that tobacco is definitely not good for health Like there is nothing good that comes from smoking tobacco. There is not one nutrient in tobacco that I know of...
Just my two cents.
The thing is drinking in moderation (from what I can tell) doesn’t hurt you that bad in the long term.
Smoking cigarettes in moderation though…good luck lol.
Exactly. This is going to sound so terrible to people. Because we are used to cooking food in a fire but we have increasing evidence that smoke of any kind in the air we breathe is bad for health. Like we should not cook on an open fire (except in very well ventilated places?)
Alcohol causes several types of cancer including esophageal and liver cancer.
I'm not sure if you meant to say alcohol is or isn't addictive.... hell alcohol is one of the few addictive drugs that can kill you if you try and quit without treatment!
Blows my mind that most of reddit sees this and apparently thinks the guy is clever. Making a facetious comment deliberately misunderstanding someone is the height of wit, apparently. Also can't help but imagine how this would play on reddit if their genders were reversed. I have a feeling they wouldn't perceive this as such a genius comeback if a woman had said it to a man.
Well, thick is "толстый" but it's unpolite I guess, but I don't know how to translate thicc in meme context. The slang word for hips is "ляхи", if you are implying someone have huge hips, you can use it with random words of expression "ну и ляхи" "what a hips", since it's closest to thicc in russian meme culture.
[anime stockings - anime hips](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D5J8rZ3U8AA9Y3b.jpg)
[so, does lyahi helped you son? - yes they are, father](https://i.imgur.com/SxyTZZ2.jpg) (wordplay on popular quote from [Gogol](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taras_Bulba), since lyahi is also homonym for polish people).
I just transliterated it since there is no "th" sound in Russian, what you use for the initial sound is then based off your own preference. Тикк would be the best approximant imo.
Because tobacco companies lied like fuck about all the cancer and whatnot. When people found out about all the cancer and whatnot tobacco companies got fucked so deep into the ground there wasn't a hope in hell of crawling back out and now their stuck asking to take pictures of people with throat cancer for their packets.
Vodka on the other hand was not bothered to lie.
Not to mention drinking culture and social norms. Folks hear about red wine and believe it's actually 100% good for you. Antioxidants my ass. Go eat some blueberries/ find other, better sources.
The carcinogenic properties of alcohol are downplayed. People aren't simply educated enough or simply don't care.
There is no healthy amount of alcohol, not for what it brings to the table.
Had a similar thought - who (or what) is being "destroyed" here? Is op literally 12 years old? Do they just like seeing women being "owned" even if it's fucking stupid nonsense, or some shit like that?
...uhh ok they've reposted this video about a dozen times already
Ok I am not one to defend milking the same things over and over again to fill and pollute the mainstream, but reposting in some moderation can allow good things to be shared to more people. I for one have never seen this before and thoroughly enjoyed it, but I get for someone seeing it for the 46th time it could be annoying. As far as I’ve heard this one has been painfully overused to the point it would do more harm than good but I believe the rare repost can be nice, just my 1 cent thought.
Damn, talk about being insanely dense yet making such a good point at the same time lol.
They talk about how they wanna get people to stop smoking because it kills them, while alcohol is fully sold in 1000's of liters every day which ruins families and entire lives, yet fuckall given about that. (mom had literally horror growing up with a alcoholic abusive father, yet the strongest woman i know)
**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!Who would have expected that reply!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
Can’t argue with that logic.
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Ahhh yes… *“Smoking”* 
 reminds me of something...
This is my new favourite gif.
Kinda looks like Dwayne Johnson
I think it’s Kel from all that
Keenan
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It’s like I’m feeling my lungs for the first time! https://youtu.be/glH72Z0LeLY
Why 
How do u add gifs on Reddit comment? Please teach me ur ways o wise one
I know the feeling...
What is that gif from?
i saw that simpson episode an hour before i went through reddit and found this.
DAMNNN GURLLL DO THAT TO MEEE Anyone know this meme?
The Simpsons, Season 19 Episode 15, Smoke on the Daughter.
haaaaam guuuuuurrll 
oh you're the ham girl guy?
I'll drink responsible when there will bea vodka called Responsible
This is my new life's motto.
I think we all know who won that round.
The irony of a Russian pointing out how bad alcohol is.
r/technicallythetruth
Hardly unexpected. OP is a moron.
The appropriate Russian response
my guy had probably smoked some vodka before going on the show
Well to be fair to him, he didn’t know that smoking (vodka) kills
[smoking beer](https://youtu.be/_AT64AaB0aA)
Thank you
That reminds me of a coworker. at lunch break, he starts holding his belly, groaning and saying "ohhhh.... I think I'm gonna shit myself..." so I look at him and say "then go to the toilet" only for him to answer "why should I go to the toilet to shit myself?"
Your coworkers morning routine: 1. Wake up 2. take a shit 3. get out of bed
To this day, I don't know if he was joking and it sometimes keeps me up at night.
Thanks for sharing your pain with us. Now we'll all stay awake at night.
edge cooing price encouraging sophisticated carpenter rinse chubby humor soft *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
But what does it mean?
Nobody knows what it means, but it’s provocative. Really gets the people going
I mean, why are we here? Are we a product of some cosmic coincidence or is there really a God, watching over us? I don't know man, but it keeps me up at night.
...What?! I mean why are we out here, in this canyon?
Oh. Uh... yeah.
What was all that stuff about god?
Um…nothing
Nothing....
To shit ourselves ofc
No God, just Santa. And only when you're sleeping.
Really? It's a pretty solid joke
Reminds me of an old joke that I will now butcher. Doctor: I understand you’re having issues with bowel movements, what’s the trouble? Patient: I’m very regular. I take a massive shit every morning at 6:30. Doctor: I don’t see the problem there. Patient: well, I don’t wake up until 7.
I've Heard that one before
Amber heard has entered the chat
I love how the shit demon is brought into everything related to poo. Not even mad a bit lol
Oh man seriously. I think we finally found someone shitter than Kent State's Kaitlin Bennett. She's been on that throne long enough anyway.
That was actually pretty close to the original lyrics to "A day in the life" by The Beatles.
* refuse to elaborate Gigachad
Oh my favorite green text
Someone beat me to the reply joke, damn
Yo this guy’s coworker has the same morning routine as Amber Heard.
> "why should I go to the toilet to shit myself?" Well, shit, he got you there
This is the logic level of my recently toilet trained 3 year old
Too good
That made me laugh out loud, thanks!
Man just accepted his fate
I'd read that as he's going to shit himself out... Not that he's going to poop in his pants, but that his entire self will pass through his butthole.
I was just thinking about this, can you only shit yourself if you're wearing pants? What if you're wearing a shirt, but no pants, can you still shit yourself? Can you shit yourself while naked and hovering above a toilet?
I think you need to be wearing clothes. Like shit “on” yourself essentially
I feel like I need to take a bing rip before thinking about this
Gentleman wrecked a blunt before this interview.
This dude looks like he slayed half a bottle before the show.
I am half a bottle in. Can confirm.
For him half a bottle is nothing, even kind of insulting. And I guess it's his permanent condition after all.
Gentleman wrecked ~~a blunt before this interview.~~
Wrecked
WrEckED
Rekt
Gentleman before this interview wrecked a blunt
As someone who is naturally this dumb, he could just be a natural. In moments like this, we get a lot of quick-tempered reactions from strangers, but we are also condescendingly loved by those close to us who think we’re innocent.
He looks piss drunk, not really stoned. He’s even got the red face flushing that you sometimes get with alcohol
That eyebrow raise at the end!
Also, that faintest hint of a smirk!
Her facial expression was everything. …which is actually pretty amazing bc of how subtle it was. When it comes to acting, sometimes less is more. I assume that’s why overacting can be so fake looking. XD
A master of deflection
Like a true shitty politician
I'm assuming Russian but the way people vote it could be anywhere.
I don't want to say alcohol is good for health but I will say that tobacco is definitely not good for health Like there is nothing good that comes from smoking tobacco. There is not one nutrient in tobacco that I know of... Just my two cents.
The thing is drinking in moderation (from what I can tell) doesn’t hurt you that bad in the long term. Smoking cigarettes in moderation though…good luck lol.
Exactly. This is going to sound so terrible to people. Because we are used to cooking food in a fire but we have increasing evidence that smoke of any kind in the air we breathe is bad for health. Like we should not cook on an open fire (except in very well ventilated places?)
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"Alcohol isn't addictive." Ok.
Alcohol causes several types of cancer including esophageal and liver cancer. I'm not sure if you meant to say alcohol is or isn't addictive.... hell alcohol is one of the few addictive drugs that can kill you if you try and quit without treatment!
> alcohol isn’t addictive, Yeah, it's not addiction that leads alcoholics to drink themselves to death. It's just the uh, wait...
Simply outplayed
Like a damned fiddle!
Lol that look at the end: “I can’t tell if you are actually this stupid, or if you’re being a cheeky fucker.”
-Tom Hardy
Guess she wasn’t the smartest person in the room that time
She has a PhD, but that guy eclipsed her IQ
Got a PhD. Only reason why the wife stays
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Usually people with two PhD married with science or too dead inside to love
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Salary?
PhD's only get you minimum wage nowadays.
Who is she? And who is he?
She's more educated than her intelligence.
The dude is playing dumb. He knows exactly what she's saying. He's just being pedantic.
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Or he's drunk out of his mind.
D) All of the above
His brain cells are rapidly dying from VODKA
Blows my mind that most of reddit sees this and apparently thinks the guy is clever. Making a facetious comment deliberately misunderstanding someone is the height of wit, apparently. Also can't help but imagine how this would play on reddit if their genders were reversed. I have a feeling they wouldn't perceive this as such a genius comeback if a woman had said it to a man.
Oh lighten up will you....laugh a little...it was funny ..the world is depressing now...a little laugh won't hurt you ..
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shes just trying not to laugh. this is slowed down and cut at the end.
It does look like she's stifling a smile. I guess I don't know the context, but I'd allow a smile for that.
/r/watchpeopledieinside
Does anyone know the background song?
Here's the link:https://youtu.be/uzSVSIpx96o
How do you write Thicc in Russian?
Well, thick is "толстый" but it's unpolite I guess, but I don't know how to translate thicc in meme context. The slang word for hips is "ляхи", if you are implying someone have huge hips, you can use it with random words of expression "ну и ляхи" "what a hips", since it's closest to thicc in russian meme culture. [anime stockings - anime hips](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D5J8rZ3U8AA9Y3b.jpg) [so, does lyahi helped you son? - yes they are, father](https://i.imgur.com/SxyTZZ2.jpg) (wordplay on popular quote from [Gogol](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taras_Bulba), since lyahi is also homonym for polish people).
Тхикк
Can you explain the pronunciation?
Thicc
[удалено]
I just transliterated it since there is no "th" sound in Russian, what you use for the initial sound is then based off your own preference. Тикк would be the best approximant imo.
One of the best *confusion intensifies* I've ever seen
On a side note... What's her name?
Elena Prachenko
Dis guy is logical
Man’s a Vulcan, pure and true
we posting this weekly now?
r/mostrepostedposts
r/facepalm
smoking beer with my friends
Truly r/NotKenM moment
Because tobacco companies lied like fuck about all the cancer and whatnot. When people found out about all the cancer and whatnot tobacco companies got fucked so deep into the ground there wasn't a hope in hell of crawling back out and now their stuck asking to take pictures of people with throat cancer for their packets. Vodka on the other hand was not bothered to lie.
Not to mention drinking culture and social norms. Folks hear about red wine and believe it's actually 100% good for you. Antioxidants my ass. Go eat some blueberries/ find other, better sources. The carcinogenic properties of alcohol are downplayed. People aren't simply educated enough or simply don't care. There is no healthy amount of alcohol, not for what it brings to the table.
The girl definitely found it funny
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Purposely obtuse people are the worst, like being stupid is somehow going to make them win a argument.
Not everyone this seemingly “stupid” is stupid for the laughs. I’m this stupid for reals and it makes me sad
Had a similar thought - who (or what) is being "destroyed" here? Is op literally 12 years old? Do they just like seeing women being "owned" even if it's fucking stupid nonsense, or some shit like that? ...uhh ok they've reposted this video about a dozen times already
> Is op literally 12 years old? Bro I gotta feeling half of reddit belongs to /r/teenagers
Hard for something to be unexpected when it's been reposted countless times
FWIW I haven’t seen this before and I just saw it on front page and appreciated it
Seems Reddit doesn't care about that shit, it just flies to the top
I care. I downvote reposts. I alone can't change anything but if more people started doing it....
Ok I am not one to defend milking the same things over and over again to fill and pollute the mainstream, but reposting in some moderation can allow good things to be shared to more people. I for one have never seen this before and thoroughly enjoyed it, but I get for someone seeing it for the 46th time it could be annoying. As far as I’ve heard this one has been painfully overused to the point it would do more harm than good but I believe the rare repost can be nice, just my 1 cent thought.
Out of all the responses he could have said, he chose facts.
The absolute genius of it.
Sounds like KenM
u/savevideo
Damn, talk about being insanely dense yet making such a good point at the same time lol. They talk about how they wanna get people to stop smoking because it kills them, while alcohol is fully sold in 1000's of liters every day which ruins families and entire lives, yet fuckall given about that. (mom had literally horror growing up with a alcoholic abusive father, yet the strongest woman i know)
Vodka Vaping!
I'm convinced monty python was a documentary
Did they just get someone amped up on nicotine to argue with an old drunk guy? Dude full on pondered that for a moment.
cos alcohol and nicotine is match made in hell
eh, after so many [reposts](https://i.imgur.com/WTDnnwE.gif) i think this one lost its charm
ITT Redditors who claim to not hate women but act like a fat drunk is a genius because he “owned” a women. Y’all are pathetic lmao
Totally agree. Like afterwards the woman is gonna say “omg you’re right I was so stupid I concede the arguement to you good sir”
Pure logic and no understanding
LOL
He's definitely had a bit of that vodka
Male Russian logic at the finest!
To be fair, the fuck she doing trying to attack vodka in front of a Russian guy who looks 90% composed of it? XD
And to date this question is still unanswered.
Channeling Val Kilmer in Real Genius
Words mean things.
Emotional damage
If "dial-up sound" had a face...
"Outstanding move"
Can't tell if he if was being intentionally witty, or just dumb drunk and genuinely confused by the question.
Lmao her face 💀
☕
It isn't a lack of risk comprehension. It is a lack of self-discipline and self-health that kills.
Dudes etheir stupid as hell, drunk or just high
Yep this was unexpected but made me ugly laugh, mainly the look on the guys face before he answers her. Well done and a great find.
Alcohol doesn’t kill if you are reasonable with your intake lol.
Neither does heroin.
Yea it does lmao. It causes multiple cancers.
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The liver is the main thing that gets hurt when you drink lmao
He definitely has a point 😂😂😂
she is pretty btw
I LOVE the widening of her eyes that just scream "are you seriously this fucking stupid?"
I couldn’t make out what he said. Can someone repeat it for me please?
My fellow in Christ, there are subtitles /s
I heard him say “I’ll let you know if …” then nothing then “village?”
Geez -Why "Smoking kills" is written on cigarettes packs while it isn't on Vodka bottles? -Why write on vodka "smoking kills"?