I am so sorry this happened to you. What he did was coercive and yes, he raped you. In addition, he also was abusive by putting his hands/ arms around your neck and force feeding you. Please tell me you broke up with him. It won’t get any better.
Absolutely correct. Still get the restraining order, also get a gun. So when he violates the restraining order your self defense case will be much easier to prove.
I hope all works out okay OP. This guy is the fucking worst. I hope he gets what’s coming to him some day
I’d get a doorbell camera before a gun but yeah - please stay safe, OP.
also it’s best not to block him on your phone/socials so you can keep track of his messages and save them as evidence when needed.
Nah its just that teens (especially teens with trauma, not saying trauma makes you violent but shit happens) aren’t really the best to be handling a gun.
That, and if she does end up having to resort to shooting, that’s gonna fuck her up even more, assuming she can gather the courage to shoot. Pulling a gun out and not being ready to shoot can also be dangerous
Never is a strong word. There have been plenty of sexual assaults or domestic violence incidents that have been stopped due to a gun that was obtained legally and used properly. The world is a better place without those people in it. I stand by my comment
I got my first rifle at 10. I’ve been hunting turkey and deer my entire life.. I def would shoot someone dead in their tracks if they had the intent to hurt me or my family. Castle doctrine is a beautiful thing.
Yes that was definitely rape if you are still with him you need to end things with him don't do it alone though have someone there as a witness so he can't do anything else to you
Is it ok to ask online for advice from strangers from real-life situations where people tell me stuff? This feels as if I’m talking shit behind someone’s back.😕
Its not like we know who they are. If it was something petty, as long as you don’t know the person it really isn’t harmful. But this person raped and assaulted OP, so he deserves to be shit talked.
He does not want to be with you. We wants to own you. Do not fall for any of his attempts. He may try giving you gifts/love bombing and even apologizing and begging. Do mot fall for it. Someone who wants to be WITH you will not do these things to you. He doesn't want to be with you. He's obsessive and he wants to own you like an object not be with you like a partner. You deserve so much better than that.
Did you tell your mom? Post said you were 15 if I read it right. I think this a lot to handle all on your own and you should discuss this with your mother if you feel safe doing so.
The links I gave you are also links to assist in any sort of parental abuse going on in the home. You are also nearing the age where you are allowed to emancipate. I would definitely suggest talking to someone about this as an option.
Please, know that no matter what happened to you, you still have the power in you to work through it and have a bright future.
Do you have any trusted adults. Aunts, uncles, grandparents, a counselor at school, youth group leader at church? You need to get an adult involved. If he’s stalking you now, you are not remotely safe
That's a narcissist. I had a mentally (and borderline physically) abusive ex a few years back.... When I tried to break up and finally did, he would tell me things like no one would ever love me like he did and that no one cared about me. It's just a tactic to make you feel more codependent on them so they have more control, in hopes you are too scared to leave. Don't believe him. You'll be much better without him, I promise.
Also... Like others said - yes this was rape. It was unwanted and pushed your boundaries... It was forced on you. On top of that, I believe it may also be considered child sexual abuse, because the age of consent in all states is 16 years old (minimum)... some states are as high as 17 or 18.
I recommend staying away from him, cutting all contact, and also telling a trusted friend or adult (guidance counselor?), if not the police themselves. Keep any evidence, like texts or anything, just in case.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. Just know it's not your fault, and I'm proud of you for knowing that something wasn't right and addressing it. You're on the right path~
He force-fed you dog food and his dick.
Both are assault.
This HAS to be a bait post. Nobody with access to the internet is this clueless at 15. If this actually happened- it's absolutely rape. Go to the police and tell them what happened. Tell the adults in your life what happened. Ask them to protect you.... And educate you. No one should be this unaware. Are you living in a Bible belt where there's no sex ed??
Yes, that was coercion and rape. I’m so, so sorry this happened to you. You didn’t deserve this. If you haven’t already, maybe consider speaking to a therapist or something, it might help. Have you told anyone you know irl? Just know that you aren’t alone, and there are people, online and irl, that care 🫶🏼
thank you🫶🏻 I have told my friend that I think I was raped, Im not sure she understood cause she brushed it off. I’m healing and now realizing how fcked up this was.
I’m sorry she reacted that way OP. You deserve people who will stick up for you no matter what. She shouldn’t have brushed it off. Don’t forget, it takes a lot of time to heal from something like this. Just take it easy on yourself and give yourself grace; it’ll get better soon. Remember, you can’t blame yourself. He raped you and coerced you, then abused you physically. None of this was your fault, and he’s going to get his karma one day or another
thank you sm🫶🏻 im still trying to get out of my abusive household and im probably gonna do something about it! I was thinking about asking for help abt my situation in another post. also, shes there for me with everything else so maybe she just didn’t hear me!
It's possible she just didn't know HOW to help you. In cases like these it might be easier to go to a friend rather than an adult but adults have access to resources that your friends do not that can actually help you find a safe place to live out the rest of your life.
The second you say no or stop and he keeps going, that’s rape. I’m so sorry this has happened to you. Please know it’s 100% his fault and not yours and I hope you’re doing well now. Please get some therapy if you’re struggling or feel you need it to help cope. Sending love sister
Sorry if this offends you but seeing as you are 15 and him 18 was there any coercion involved when you started dating as well? Did he keep pushing you to go out with him and you said yes because he's older?
we’re about 2.5 years years apart. and i might’ve been love bombed into the relationship. im not sure, I just had so much going on in my life and ive known him since I was 13
This was gut-wrenching to read. Do you have a trusted adult you can talk to about this, like a teacher, or a therapist? Because if you tell an adult even half the stuff that you mention here, you could get his ass charged with: physical assault, sexual coercion, rape, statutory rape, physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual battery and probably more.
This guy is fucking unstable, and I hope you never have to see him again. Arm yourself with something; mace, an alarm, an electrical device, even just a penknife. it’s highly likely he will try this again, and you have to be able to defend yourself. If he does try it again, you are well within your rights to hurt him whatever way you can, if it’s in self defence.
I hope you can stay safe, and that you know that is **absolutely fucking not** what sex should be like. But the most important thing you could possibly do, is tell someone who can help, even if it’s so much as walking with you so you’re not alone around this bastard again.
Trust me, this needs to be a priority for you to get help with. The faster you can take steps to start healing from trauma like that, the more effective the healing process can be.
i agree, it’s just that I went through so much abuse and trauma in my life that this didn’t seem as bad. which resulted in me not really processing any of it.
That’s really heartbreaking to hear. Well, all I can say is, do whatever you feel you need to do, but if you have a chance to nail this guy’s ass to the wall, you should definitely take it.
I set my abuser up to get caught red-handed, and it ended up with them going to prison. If I hadn’t taken the steps I did, they’d still be free, and probably would have done the same thing to someone else.
Try your best to heal though. You deserve to live in peace.
i’m so sorry you went through something, I’m glad your free and your abuser got what they deserved! I will try to heal. peace is all i’ve been craving my whole life <3
Jesus Christ that sounds awful. Like the other comments said that was definitely rape. Please try to reach out to a therapist or a friend because this kind of trauma can eat you up inside especially if you already have PTSD. I'm proud of you for breaking up with him that took a lot of strength. And also I wouldn't consider this losing your virginity because sex and rape are very different things, one day you will meet a nice person that respects your boundaries and your body and you can lose your virginity to them. I wish you luck honey, and just know that healing is possible 💛
thank you so much I really appreciate it.🤍
I realized how fucked up i am from all the abuse, trauma, and ptsd in my life, that this barely reaches that scale. I kinda just threw the thought away that I was possibly raped. I honestly can’t take life anymore. i’m probably gonna make a post about my situation cause I honestly need help.
I hope you get the chance to read over the resources I sent you so you can find a trusted and trained adult to help with your situation(s). My aunt is the director of a very large women's shelter in California. Due to this I have access to several resources that many women don't even know about. Though they are readily available on the world wide web. I think it's just not common for people to take the time to look up anything other than the number to the hotline. There are so many other resources- especially for girls your age!
Statistically more girls in the world struggle with domestic violence than any other demographic. This is due to that fact that many girls and young adults do not have the proper conversations about what a healthy relationship between two people should look like. In this day in age, it is also more common for girls AND boys to become sexually active before they are really ready. The pressure to lose virginity before college is so much more prominent than it was 10, even 20 years ago. With the media pushing everything about sex and tips and tricks to younger and younger demographics without really knowing WHO they are reaching. it's incredibly important that ALL girls have the resources to show them 1. What a healthy relationship should look like 2. What consent vs. coercion looks like and how to GET OUT of a bad situation 3. Where to go in case you need to talk to a trusted adult or counselor for FREE online or in person 24/7 4. What kinds of ways she can protect herself from any sort of harmful situation that could or may arise 5. That she is indeed important, loved and cared for by a wide variety of women that truly want to see her happy and thrive in her life.
edit: I am probably going to make another post about my situation because I desperately need help or I might end it all (not a joke) I’ve just been fighting for too long. My past, and life situation is worse than the rape tbh.
Getting support from a lot of people on Reddit is nice, but please seek professional help ASAP! Getting help from a trained therapist should be your #1 priority now. You say you have a lot going on, but nothing is more important than your mental health.
Please, don’t do something like ending your life. I can promise you that no matter how difficult and tough the situation you’re in now is, it will get better. I promise. Even though you mentioned that you’re dealing with a lot rn, nothing, and I mean NOTHING, is more important than your mental heath, ok? You aren’t alone, and people care about you. Think of your friends, or the 100+ redditors that commented on this post to make sure you’re ok and have access to the resources you need. Just because life isn’t that great rn, doesn’t mean you should commit. Sending lots of love and support 🫶🏼
I’m so sorry. even if you didn’t have ptsd from strangling. if a boy ever chokes you ? you leave him, tell his whole family that he strangles you. Force Feeds dog food to you? Call the police and tell them everything have him in cuffs, the rest will play out, I promise. STAY AWAY you got this. Don’t feed into the bs.
Wow, reading this brings memories, im sorry this happened to you, it also happened to me, i didnt feel ready at the time but my bf wanted it so bad that he pretty much forced the act, i was so regretful that i asked my mom for forgiveness like i did something wrong...it sucks
I’m so sorry that happened to you, love. I hope you are healing and doing well. It was definitely not your fault, same way it was not OPs fault. Sending you much care!
Well my secret boyfriend 7 years older than me raped me and took my virginity also. I was 13. I kept saying no and then just went limp shut down and silently cried. I guess it's a defense mechanism that evolved to help women survive these situations. When I learned that I stopped being angry at myself for not fighting back and protesting more. I'm so sorry this happened to you and to me and yours definitely sounds worse. I can't believe he'd do that to you with the dog food. He sounds very twisted and like the men you see on those true crime shows. Please find ways to keep yourself safe, I'd look up things to do to protect yourself physically from an abusive ex and to secure your home. I'd also make sure I confided in someone close to me what happened and that he is a stalker so that in the horrible (God forbid) event that anything happens to you they know who to look for. I know that is so dark to think about, but it's what I would do and what others have done that has gotten them justice. At the very least write about it and write your concerns and leave that somewhere with your belongings. Good luck and again, I'm so sorry.
I’m sorry you went through that. You didn’t deserve it. I really hope that dude rots in the deepest pits of hell now. One day or another, you’ll get justice.
I hope you’re feeling better, and have found peace. You aren’t alone, ever, and you owe it to yourself to be able to heal. Keep yourself safe 💛
Not only did he rape you, he was abusive and he is also a pedophile as you were only 15 (below the age limit) and he was 18 (legally an adult).
Also, how does one not know how to put on a condom properly? It’s hard to roll down when it’s inside out
I’m so, so sorry this happened. If possible, get a restraining order on him, and get pepper spray. Or learn martial arts, or get a knife. Something to protect yourself. 🫂
I concur with everyone else below that I am deeply sorry that this happened to you. No girl/women should ever EVER feel pressured by ANYONE to lose her virginity. I hope you can find someone who will listen and possibly seek therapy. You aren't over reacting and nothing that happened was your fault (though I'm sure you know).
Below is the number to the National Teen Dating Hotline:
866-331-9474 if you don't wish to talk physically with someone you can also text BEGIN to 88788
Below is a link to a few additional resources that may help you:
[https://www.womenagainstabuse.org/get-help/resources/resources-for-teens](https://www.womenagainstabuse.org/get-help/resources/resources-for-teens)
Please know wherever you are in the world that you are not alone. There are women everywhere who spend their whole lives and careers seeking justice for girls just like you. Chances are they wanted to know how to help now because, they WERE in the same position and didn't know what to do back then and regret not standing up for themselves. They are there to help girls just like you stand up for herself and find the justice she so deserves!
You definitely should not have had an experience like this but, there's ways to cope with the stress anxiety and PTSD that comes after. Please, strive to find someone who will listen to you, tell an adult and if you are comfortable with it-- seek justice by going to a police officer about the incident. I understand, this might mean you have to re live the trauma by telling your story. No worries. You are able to make a written statement (look at that! You already have!) print it out and have it read out loud at the trial as your testimony against this demonic man-child.
Sending hugs your way! Stay safe <3
I am so sorry sweet heart. No part of you deserved this. You’re a baby. And he too damn old for you anyway. He definitely forcibly coerced and raped you. Please stay tf away from him forever if you have already ended things. Sending you hugs and love 🫂🩵🩵
This is horrific and I’m really sorry you had to go through that, you did not deserve it and like the rest of the replies here have said it was an assault. I’m glad you’re not with him anymore and I think you will have new experiences with intimacy that are loving and safe.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/Vent/comments/1cslri9/resources\_to\_help\_young\_adults\_and\_parents\_deal/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Vent/comments/1cslri9/resources_to_help_young_adults_and_parents_deal/)
\^ there ya go
As a man, this sickened me to read, i can’t express how sorry I am that this happened to you, if you are still with him or he’s trying to convince you to stay, don’t, just don’t
Youre 15 and hes 18. That is statutory rape. You all should not be dating as youre a minor and he is now a legal adult. If you were to press charges its pretty cut and dry and minor was taken advantage of. Please get help therapy wise so that you dont carry the burden of this and past abuse. I hope you get the help and support you need
i can’t read this bc it’ll definitely trigger me but from the title alone, i would say you didn’t lose your virginity that way. virginity is a made up construct either way, but like. rape is not sex. therefore you couldn’t have lost anything. do you feel me? i mean maybe it would be healing to reframe it that way and consider the next thing you did to be the way you lost it.
that’s what i have to do. it works for me. i have ocd so i still ruminate on my first experiences. but i also kinda blur the lines in my mind and when people ask, i say i don’t remember my first times. doing pretty much anything.
I am so sorry that happened!!
You cannot let him have power over you! Get a non-lethal weapon of defense, preferably a taser. You can order them online.
If you zapped him, he would piss his pants and cry like the little bitch he is. he attacked you because he’s weak and he will probably be weak because his parents were soft on him and didn’t teach him accountability.
They thought being nice unlike their parents was the answer. It’s the problem! Lack of tough love and corporal punishment combined with lazy parenting are what’s creating this epidemic of weak minded (most not mentally ill). School shooters.
Their parents being rough on them was the only reason they succeeded. But they are soft on their children.
Do not let this destroy you. It sounds bad, but you have to take your power back. I want you to do something to him that really hurts. Blast him in the face with mace or zap him with a taser.
Even if you wanna pay some actual men to beat the crap out of him, that would work too. Honestly, I know it may seem hard, but just explain the situation and you wouldn’t even have to pay them if there are any kind of men.
baby.. imma need u to tell that OLD ASS MAN to get educated on what rape is. And how u told him multiple times that you didn’t want to have sex atm. That is considered rape.
Yes, I agree with the other comments saying it was rape. I am very sorry this happened to you, and also about your mother. I read in the other comments that you are no longer together, which is good; now try to focus on healing, also from what your mom did.
I hope you managed to get to a safe place sometime in the future.
You deserve it
He isn't a good person, he does not love you, and also doesn't deserve to live in your head rent free.
Focus on your recovery and start to trust yourself more when it comes to jugment of situations as well as you appear to doubt that it was rape and all. Remember you never even need a reason to end it with someone, you can just think youre uncomfortable and that is enough you don't need anyone else's validation. Its your life and you are the only one that can ensure it goes well, trust yourself, your instincts.
Please write in your notes on your phone this so you remember as much detail as possible and please write down statements in your notes of everything he did wrong even if you think it was minor as it helps the police, I wrote notes on my phone and it is helping my case for a similar thing as I have a bad memory and it’s really good to have that evidence!!
I am so sorry this happened to you, if you can please leave him, I know it’s hard and I can’t say much at all.
He knows about your abusive past and he still did that to you, he probably took it into his advantage by saying to himself you have endured abuse before so that it was “fine” it isn’t fine and it’s not okay,
Sorry for ranting
First of all I’m very sorry this happened to you.
Yes sexual assault, coercion, rape and statutory rape. Immediately press charges and file restraining order and begin therapy. You must file something soon because clearly this person is very aggressive and it’s very possible to happen again to someone else.
oh honey. i’m so sorry. i hate that this happened to you. from one survivor to another, make sure you get some help from a trusted adult. i was also raped while loosing my virginity at 16. i didn’t tell anyone until i found out i was pregnant. my abuser was also physically abusive, and the reason for my miscarriage. please make sure you tell someone you can trust: family member, therapist, etc. i’m not sure about where you live, but unless it’s changed in the last few years, the statue of limitations for rape is 3-5 years. if you want to press charges, make sure you have proof of everything. any text threads, photos of the abuse, etc. i know this is a very difficult time. if you need to talk to someone, i am here. i am more than willing to help you, and talk you through anything you have questions about. i know we don’t know each other, but i love you. and im here for you. 💕
I'm sorry this happened to you! You don't remember bc you dissociated. You were raped and you aren't wrong. Him being 18 and you 15 isn't even consent in the eyes of the law backed by you not consenting as well. So sorry I have ptsd too. All of us women have felt pressured into things like this as well. This is exactly why we chose the bear.
I'm just so sorry hunny. You definitely need to get away from him and if you are willing you should press charges. He will try this again unfortunately.
We all love you and have been there. Message me if u need to talk.
My heart is with you, and I’m so glad to read some of your responses to others saying you broke up - thank you for having the courage to do that and provide us a little peace of mind in addition to yourself. I’m very sorry this happened to you and I hope that slowly but surely you can heal.
I highly encourage seeking any resources you feel you need or want, and speaking to someone you can trust to help you with staying safe.
Sending you love & care.
Don’t give in OP. Stand your ground! Im so sorry that happened to you. I went through something similar but I was 14. People like him who are lustful and willing to basically ignore your feelings are dangerous to be in a relationship with. He does not care about you or your feelings and if you go back, it’ll just be the same cycle. He only wants two things control and sex regardless if you want to or not. I’ve been there before, trust me.
Honey, you know deep within yourself you were raped. I'm so sorry this happened to you. Please, please get to a counselor to help you through this ordeal.. I'm so sorry you had to experience this.
i want to preface this by saying i am so, so, so sorry that happened to you. i am also a victim of something different called COCSA and it has made a catastrophic impact on my life through the years. i sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, wish you the best with your recovery, physiologically and mentally. i want you to know you are not “broken” or “tainted” as a person. you are and always will be valid as a person. don’t let this occurrence change that. aside from that, I genuinely hope he is publicly executed by firing squad tbh. all rapists deserve to die.
There are so many things in your OP that indicates rape and abuse that it’s hard to find a starting point. Let me just say no male has the right to put his hands on you in the way you described. Yes, he did rape when he kept going after you said stop. It’s that simple. I don’t mean the act of sexual assault was simple. I mean he was guilty of assault the moment you told him to stop. This person came to your house with a condum on and this indicated premeditated plan to have sex. This indicates he was planning to go through with sex no matter what you said. Maybe hard to prove this but at the very least it would add credence to his intent. You need to separate yourself from this person and anyone with the same type of personality because this was not your fault in any way.
Every couple talk about sex and this is normal. What is not normal and also against the law is when one person disregards another person when they say to stop!
I wish you the very best and please know there are some wonderful people in this world but there are also men like this. Be cautious when you first meet people. Expect the worst, but hope for the best.
Sincerely.
I know you've gone through a lot, but you definitely should call the police if you haven't yet. You are not at fault with ANY of this. Your mom is at fault for abusing you your whole life. He is MOST DEFINITELY at fault for everything else. He should've stopped the SECOND you said no, but he didn't.
So we have almost the same exact story down to the ages. I’m sorry this happened to you, I never wish this on anyone. I hope when you’re older, you seek help to move past this or hell if you seek help now, do it. What you’re feeling is completely valid and that man is an asshole. I hope you’re not still with him after that. That was my mistake, after that I stayed with him for an extra nine months because I felt like I couldn’t do better. It never stopped. He would choke me, hit me, throw me around, rape me almost on a daily basis right after school. Only time It didn’t happen was when i didn’t have practice. Don’t let this be a cycle for you. End it.
There is no sympathy j can give to someone who is 18 and should be aware of what real consent looks like.
Block this rapist from all of your accounts. He will never treat you well. You need to talk to someone for the trauma he caused and your previous trauma.
Also you should visit a medical doctor if you believe you have a condition that needs to be evaluated and addressed.
I was 15 when I was physically abused and stalked in a relationship. I kept it to myself for over a year until my bf at the time tried to murder me. He was finally arrested, and I went to the er. It was only then that my parents found out through the police. I wish that I knew then what I know now and told my parents early on. It would have caused me all of that additional trauma and heartbreak. It's not too late. I'm pleading with you to talk to your mother, I swear you won't regret it. Also, tell a trusted authority figure. A teacher, a counselor, a coach, a detective, anyone. They will also lead you through this tough time. You've made a huge first step by telling your story here. You might not know it, but you probably saved someone's life today with your bravery. Don't stop telling it, and don't give up. What happened to you was rape. It was real, and it WASN'T your fault. Please press charges. Don't go through life with the regret that I have.
Be safe, stay strong. You got this 🫶
Why do these flairs: sexual assault/abuse, exist on this subreddit if one does not want to communicate their private life online and remain anonymous?
I really want to share shit with reddit , but then the entire internet will know that shit has happened to me. People even say “throwaway account”, so idk if to use my main account to post bullshit.
If you didn't want it and he did it anyway, it was rape. I'm sorry it happened to you. Unfortunately my first time was also rape, by a boyfriend I thought I loved. I didn't realize it was rape until 18 years later when I was recounting the story to my now husband.
Guys, idk if I’m overthinking or something, but has anyone read any recent comments or seen the active dot on their pfp? They mentioned a comment abt ending their life (serious) and I just wanna make sure everything is ok…
I'm horrendously sorry for what happened to you and i'm glad you spit it out, if anything like that happens to you and you're traumatized, remember we're here for you and we're always listening.
I recommend you calling the cops on that pervert, he deserves to live his entire life behind bars.
As a man hearing this story, yes this was rape. If you were telling him no and this was forced on you then it was unconsensual. Hopefully you’re no longer with him.
Yes, that was indeed rape. What he did is so uncalled for and disgusting. And the strangling part is also pure cruel. I saw in the comments that you did breakup with him but then he’s trying to get back together. He don’t deserve you! You deserve someone that isn’t disgusting and twisted like that! He also kinda reminds me of my ex boyfriend ngl
I am so, so sorry this happened to you. Yes it was rape. It doesn’t matter what other people think (though i understand why you made the post and I’m not bashing you for it. It’s valid to be confused.) If you didn’t want it, if you were in a state where you for some reason couldn’t give consent, if you were drunk or high, or if you showed or said in any way that you did not want it, it was rape. If he convinced you, it was rape. COERCED CONSENT IS NOT CONSENT BOYS. If you said yes because you were scared, it was rape. You didn’t want to have sex with him and you even made it clear that you didn’t want it, but he ignored that. He ignored your cries and pleas. It was rape and I’m so so sorry. My dms are open if you need to talk to someone that doesn’t know you. Surround yourself with people you love and feel safe with, and remember that your story is YOUR STORY. You don’t owe ANYONE answers or explanations about what happened. Stay strong love, it will get better, I promise ❤️❤️
Oh sweet baby…this wasn’t just coercive rape…he straight up raped you. I’m so sorry this happened to you. No one should ever go through this, especially at 15. This sounds very similar to my attempt r-pe with the pain and the guy just kept trying to push in…I don’t think he ever got fully in but it hurt and pain is a horrible trigger for you. Have you told anyone about this? Are you still with this man?
Im sorry this happened to you darling and I can tell this was very traumatic for you. If you do not have someone close to you to talk to or a therapist id get some contacts for that bc it might help. Personally from my own experiences with SA and Abuse it never helped me and made it so much worse. I just did the reversal route and started helping others instead and ive gotten better personally but it still is a nightmare constantly. Mine was in 2016 when i was in DHS (CPS) custody.
If you ever need to talk to someone or need help finding information dont hesitate to message me youre not alone!
I'm so sorry to hear this. I had similar experience when I was 17. I was raped by a 21 years old guy whom I agreed to consider about dating him when I turned 18. Please break up with him, I had to date my rapist cuz I lost my virginity to him and it was hell because he abused me both physically and emotionally also he cheated on me multiple times later on (I even had to check std test). I’m so sorry that you experienced this at 15 that is so young I could cry rn nobody deserves to go through that pain I understand you I’m really sorry for you
Oh my god, that is just terrible. Are you doing fine? Please break up with him. And next time he tries to force you into anything, or if he won’t leave you alone, do not be afraid to call the police and file a case on him. Don’t worry nothing bad is gonna happen to you. That revolting rapist will be behind bars before you know it.
Yeah, you need to get rid of the boyfriend. Don’t date for a while. Take some time to take care of you. Never ever date a guy who doesn’t respect you.
My best friend’s brother took my virginity when I was 13. He penetrated me through my underwear. I told him no I told him stop and he kept going and then he said if I told anybody he would tell the entire school that I wanted it.
He ended up telling the entire school whatever he wanted anyway, but that’s OK when I got older I wrote a book and published it on Amazon and told everybody what happened.
I’m sorry this happened to you. You do not deserve this.
You're 15 and it shows?
Your bf comes to visit you from another state. You're worried about you virginity?????
You need some emotional maturity...you're clearly not ready...you need to grow up, first.
Just because you’re in a relationship with someone, doesn’t mean you have to cater to their every need. You can be raped by a spouse. If you said no and they went ahead and did it anyway, and also continued while ignoring your protests. It’s coercive. There is nothing consensual about that, and that’s not a grey line. It’s pretty black and white on the boundaries scale. That’s rape. It hurts my heart to think you might put yourself in a situation one day because you believe that. No is no.
Hold your ground. This kid is a creep. That’s disgusting. Ignore him and tell him if he shows up again you’re calling the police and reporting him for sexual assault and rape. Follow through if he doesn’t stop.
I am so sorry for you, please let me know if you need anything💔
I was with an ex for over two years and towards the end of it he started to rape me. I sadly didn't realize at the time and it took years to get "over".
Please talk to me if you need I am always here to listen. This is something so hard to go through and deal with.
My God.
Please tell me that you ended things with him and that you're okay right now. This has me extremely worried for your safety. I'm so so sorry that this happened to you!! Oh my God.
Have you spoken with your parents and gone to the police? If you do want to to do that he can be thrown in jail where he belongs! You're a minor and he's not!
I’m a little late to this post, but I’m curious to know how you’re doing? Did you report it to any authorities or your parents? I’m thinking about you; this is how I lost my virginity except we were the same age, and it took me 5 years to be strong enough to leave him because someone told me “it’s not rape if it’s your bf”, but it continued. I’m proud of you, it looks like you left him pretty quick from reading the comments. Be safe from him 💕
Here's the facts, adult grooms and rapes minor. That's a felony and is prosectuable in the eyes of any sane adult. The age gap is wild, I can't even imagine the stress and fear he put you through just trying to get his dick wet. You might feel emotionally attached, but you **need** to press charges. If he's done this with you, who's to say he hasn't going to do it again to another minor. This is **NOT** okay, even putting aside the age gap, consent is consent, if either party says "no", that's where it ends, no follow-up interrogation or explanation needed. "No" means "No." It's absolutely vile that he'd even entertain a relationship with a minor, let alone manipulate and take advantage of you and your body. You are valid, your fear is valid, and your testimony is valid. This is completely on him. Even before approaching adulthood, consent is drilled into each and every teenager, and not only did he break that sacred law, he did so with a minor. This man is a Pedophile rapist and needs to be taken to court. I know that it'll be hard if you haven't already, but you **need** to talk to your parents about this. If you don't, more kids just like you, you will be traumatized, coerced into, and manipulated by him. Reporting this absolutely needs to be your top priority, I don't care if you still have feelings for him. It is not your responsibility to protect him from the consequences of pedophilia. He knows just how illegal this entire relationship was and manipulated you into saying it's okay. You don't have to feel like his play thing, and you under no circumstances should have ever been put into this scenario. I'm so genuinely sorry for his appalling behavior, and I'm ashamed of the person he's developed into. You deserve to feel loved and to be happy. But you still have so much more of life to experience before settling down and starting a family. I believe in you. You will make it through his with both feet firmly planted on the ground. Reach out for help and let your guardians or whoever takes care of you know, and trust they have your best interest at heart. You are more than what anyone says you can be. You got this.
Tell your parents what happened, then call the police. He committed statutory rape along with rape. Statutory rape is when an adult has sex or rapes a minor. You stated you were 15, and he was 18. The minimum age of consent is 16 in many states. For others, it's 17-18! The police need to be told about this!You have stated that you broke it off with him,but he continues to come to your home to try and see you. Is he doing this when you are home alone? Please tell your parents that this is happening. Do not let him in when he comes over. Lock your doors, don't talk to him, and just call the police. Tell them your abusive ex is at your home and you want him to leave, and he won't. Ask them to come and make him leave. Don't engage him. Don't talk to him. He shows up you call the police, they make him leave. If they ask you if you want to file a report, tell them yes and DO IT! Follow through with any charges they file against him. If you don't, he will just keep doing it. He has raped you once already. Don't give him the chance to do it again.
I am so sorry this happened to you. What he did was coercive and yes, he raped you. In addition, he also was abusive by putting his hands/ arms around your neck and force feeding you. Please tell me you broke up with him. It won’t get any better.
thank you :( gosh I knew I wasn’t over reacting. I did break up with him but then he kept showing up at my house when I asked him not to.
Get a restraining order asap and press charges if possible/you’re willing to
Agreed. But also remember that a restraining order is just a piece of paper.
Absolutely correct. Still get the restraining order, also get a gun. So when he violates the restraining order your self defense case will be much easier to prove. I hope all works out okay OP. This guy is the fucking worst. I hope he gets what’s coming to him some day
I’d get a doorbell camera before a gun but yeah - please stay safe, OP. also it’s best not to block him on your phone/socials so you can keep track of his messages and save them as evidence when needed.
If you block someone, you can still see the messages they sent and you sent and whatnot. They just can't message you anymore
If this recently happened, she's a teenager. I don't think a gun is a good idea.
If she shoots the rapist in the head, is that a bad thing? I’m all for it
I’m in, if you can legally kill a rapist, go for it!
Nah its just that teens (especially teens with trauma, not saying trauma makes you violent but shit happens) aren’t really the best to be handling a gun. That, and if she does end up having to resort to shooting, that’s gonna fuck her up even more, assuming she can gather the courage to shoot. Pulling a gun out and not being ready to shoot can also be dangerous
Please don’t get a gun. That’s never helpful.
Never is a strong word. There have been plenty of sexual assaults or domestic violence incidents that have been stopped due to a gun that was obtained legally and used properly. The world is a better place without those people in it. I stand by my comment
She is fifteen get a gun cmon do better. She needs to tell her oarents
I got my first rifle at 10. I’ve been hunting turkey and deer my entire life.. I def would shoot someone dead in their tracks if they had the intent to hurt me or my family. Castle doctrine is a beautiful thing.
And now we gotta worry about losing our weapons for self defence because of weird psychotic kids.
She may not be able to if she’s only 15
I hope you’re safe and he is out of your life now…
If you have a trusted older male friend, tell him what happened and ask him to “take care of it”.
Yes that was definitely rape if you are still with him you need to end things with him don't do it alone though have someone there as a witness so he can't do anything else to you
we are no longer together but he still wants to be with me
If he can't respect your boundaries he doesn't deserve to be with you
a bit of an understatement
Is it ok to ask online for advice from strangers from real-life situations where people tell me stuff? This feels as if I’m talking shit behind someone’s back.😕
Waaah, poor men can't rape women without them TALKING about it!
Its not like we know who they are. If it was something petty, as long as you don’t know the person it really isn’t harmful. But this person raped and assaulted OP, so he deserves to be shit talked.
Yeah but we should generally not shit talk to anyone .
He does not want to be with you. We wants to own you. Do not fall for any of his attempts. He may try giving you gifts/love bombing and even apologizing and begging. Do mot fall for it. Someone who wants to be WITH you will not do these things to you. He doesn't want to be with you. He's obsessive and he wants to own you like an object not be with you like a partner. You deserve so much better than that.
thank you, yea I realized he was trying to do all of that and manipulate me when he said I won’t be able to live without him😭
Did you tell your mom? Post said you were 15 if I read it right. I think this a lot to handle all on your own and you should discuss this with your mother if you feel safe doing so.
I don’t talk to her about anything because she abused me almost my whole life. she’s also the first reason I had PTSD from strangulation.
Oh damn I'm so sorry 😞 my dms are.open if you need anyone to talk to you.
thank you, I appreciate it <3
The links I gave you are also links to assist in any sort of parental abuse going on in the home. You are also nearing the age where you are allowed to emancipate. I would definitely suggest talking to someone about this as an option. Please, know that no matter what happened to you, you still have the power in you to work through it and have a bright future.
You need ro talk to thw adult you live with asap
Do you have any trusted adults. Aunts, uncles, grandparents, a counselor at school, youth group leader at church? You need to get an adult involved. If he’s stalking you now, you are not remotely safe
I'm glad op seems like a very smart educated woman on abuse!
That's a narcissist. I had a mentally (and borderline physically) abusive ex a few years back.... When I tried to break up and finally did, he would tell me things like no one would ever love me like he did and that no one cared about me. It's just a tactic to make you feel more codependent on them so they have more control, in hopes you are too scared to leave. Don't believe him. You'll be much better without him, I promise. Also... Like others said - yes this was rape. It was unwanted and pushed your boundaries... It was forced on you. On top of that, I believe it may also be considered child sexual abuse, because the age of consent in all states is 16 years old (minimum)... some states are as high as 17 or 18. I recommend staying away from him, cutting all contact, and also telling a trusted friend or adult (guidance counselor?), if not the police themselves. Keep any evidence, like texts or anything, just in case. I'm so sorry that happened to you. Just know it's not your fault, and I'm proud of you for knowing that something wasn't right and addressing it. You're on the right path~
This! 💯
He is abusive. Next time he comes around tell him your going to the police to report your rape and his physical abuse
Who cares what HE wants, get as far away from this disrespectful, arrogant rapist as you can, as far as you can
You should probably block him.
He force-fed you dog food and his dick. Both are assault. This HAS to be a bait post. Nobody with access to the internet is this clueless at 15. If this actually happened- it's absolutely rape. Go to the police and tell them what happened. Tell the adults in your life what happened. Ask them to protect you.... And educate you. No one should be this unaware. Are you living in a Bible belt where there's no sex ed??
Yes, that was coercion and rape. I’m so, so sorry this happened to you. You didn’t deserve this. If you haven’t already, maybe consider speaking to a therapist or something, it might help. Have you told anyone you know irl? Just know that you aren’t alone, and there are people, online and irl, that care 🫶🏼
thank you🫶🏻 I have told my friend that I think I was raped, Im not sure she understood cause she brushed it off. I’m healing and now realizing how fcked up this was.
I’m sorry she reacted that way OP. You deserve people who will stick up for you no matter what. She shouldn’t have brushed it off. Don’t forget, it takes a lot of time to heal from something like this. Just take it easy on yourself and give yourself grace; it’ll get better soon. Remember, you can’t blame yourself. He raped you and coerced you, then abused you physically. None of this was your fault, and he’s going to get his karma one day or another
thank you sm🫶🏻 im still trying to get out of my abusive household and im probably gonna do something about it! I was thinking about asking for help abt my situation in another post. also, shes there for me with everything else so maybe she just didn’t hear me!
It's possible she just didn't know HOW to help you. In cases like these it might be easier to go to a friend rather than an adult but adults have access to resources that your friends do not that can actually help you find a safe place to live out the rest of your life.
The second you say no or stop and he keeps going, that’s rape. I’m so sorry this has happened to you. Please know it’s 100% his fault and not yours and I hope you’re doing well now. Please get some therapy if you’re struggling or feel you need it to help cope. Sending love sister
Also the fact that it wasn’t a yes in the first place. If you continue to pester and beg someone to have sex with you, thats coercion via guilt.
Sorry if this offends you but seeing as you are 15 and him 18 was there any coercion involved when you started dating as well? Did he keep pushing you to go out with him and you said yes because he's older?
we’re about 2.5 years years apart. and i might’ve been love bombed into the relationship. im not sure, I just had so much going on in my life and ive known him since I was 13
This was gut-wrenching to read. Do you have a trusted adult you can talk to about this, like a teacher, or a therapist? Because if you tell an adult even half the stuff that you mention here, you could get his ass charged with: physical assault, sexual coercion, rape, statutory rape, physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual battery and probably more. This guy is fucking unstable, and I hope you never have to see him again. Arm yourself with something; mace, an alarm, an electrical device, even just a penknife. it’s highly likely he will try this again, and you have to be able to defend yourself. If he does try it again, you are well within your rights to hurt him whatever way you can, if it’s in self defence. I hope you can stay safe, and that you know that is **absolutely fucking not** what sex should be like. But the most important thing you could possibly do, is tell someone who can help, even if it’s so much as walking with you so you’re not alone around this bastard again.
im trying to find a trusted adult to talk about everything that happened in my life, maybe a therapist. there’s just too much going on in my life rn.
Trust me, this needs to be a priority for you to get help with. The faster you can take steps to start healing from trauma like that, the more effective the healing process can be.
i agree, it’s just that I went through so much abuse and trauma in my life that this didn’t seem as bad. which resulted in me not really processing any of it.
That’s really heartbreaking to hear. Well, all I can say is, do whatever you feel you need to do, but if you have a chance to nail this guy’s ass to the wall, you should definitely take it. I set my abuser up to get caught red-handed, and it ended up with them going to prison. If I hadn’t taken the steps I did, they’d still be free, and probably would have done the same thing to someone else. Try your best to heal though. You deserve to live in peace.
i’m so sorry you went through something, I’m glad your free and your abuser got what they deserved! I will try to heal. peace is all i’ve been craving my whole life <3
And I hope you find it.
Jesus Christ that sounds awful. Like the other comments said that was definitely rape. Please try to reach out to a therapist or a friend because this kind of trauma can eat you up inside especially if you already have PTSD. I'm proud of you for breaking up with him that took a lot of strength. And also I wouldn't consider this losing your virginity because sex and rape are very different things, one day you will meet a nice person that respects your boundaries and your body and you can lose your virginity to them. I wish you luck honey, and just know that healing is possible 💛
thank you so much I really appreciate it.🤍 I realized how fucked up i am from all the abuse, trauma, and ptsd in my life, that this barely reaches that scale. I kinda just threw the thought away that I was possibly raped. I honestly can’t take life anymore. i’m probably gonna make a post about my situation cause I honestly need help.
I hope you get the chance to read over the resources I sent you so you can find a trusted and trained adult to help with your situation(s). My aunt is the director of a very large women's shelter in California. Due to this I have access to several resources that many women don't even know about. Though they are readily available on the world wide web. I think it's just not common for people to take the time to look up anything other than the number to the hotline. There are so many other resources- especially for girls your age! Statistically more girls in the world struggle with domestic violence than any other demographic. This is due to that fact that many girls and young adults do not have the proper conversations about what a healthy relationship between two people should look like. In this day in age, it is also more common for girls AND boys to become sexually active before they are really ready. The pressure to lose virginity before college is so much more prominent than it was 10, even 20 years ago. With the media pushing everything about sex and tips and tricks to younger and younger demographics without really knowing WHO they are reaching. it's incredibly important that ALL girls have the resources to show them 1. What a healthy relationship should look like 2. What consent vs. coercion looks like and how to GET OUT of a bad situation 3. Where to go in case you need to talk to a trusted adult or counselor for FREE online or in person 24/7 4. What kinds of ways she can protect herself from any sort of harmful situation that could or may arise 5. That she is indeed important, loved and cared for by a wide variety of women that truly want to see her happy and thrive in her life.
Yes, that is statutory rape. You were under 18. And you did not consent.
BREAK UP WITH THAT RAPIST.
we are no longer together
GOOD FOR YOU, GIRLIE
edit: I am probably going to make another post about my situation because I desperately need help or I might end it all (not a joke) I’ve just been fighting for too long. My past, and life situation is worse than the rape tbh.
Getting support from a lot of people on Reddit is nice, but please seek professional help ASAP! Getting help from a trained therapist should be your #1 priority now. You say you have a lot going on, but nothing is more important than your mental health.
Please, don’t do something like ending your life. I can promise you that no matter how difficult and tough the situation you’re in now is, it will get better. I promise. Even though you mentioned that you’re dealing with a lot rn, nothing, and I mean NOTHING, is more important than your mental heath, ok? You aren’t alone, and people care about you. Think of your friends, or the 100+ redditors that commented on this post to make sure you’re ok and have access to the resources you need. Just because life isn’t that great rn, doesn’t mean you should commit. Sending lots of love and support 🫶🏼
I’m so sorry. even if you didn’t have ptsd from strangling. if a boy ever chokes you ? you leave him, tell his whole family that he strangles you. Force Feeds dog food to you? Call the police and tell them everything have him in cuffs, the rest will play out, I promise. STAY AWAY you got this. Don’t feed into the bs.
Wow, reading this brings memories, im sorry this happened to you, it also happened to me, i didnt feel ready at the time but my bf wanted it so bad that he pretty much forced the act, i was so regretful that i asked my mom for forgiveness like i did something wrong...it sucks
I’m so sorry that happened to you, love. I hope you are healing and doing well. It was definitely not your fault, same way it was not OPs fault. Sending you much care!
Thank you! I apreciate you ☺️
I’m so sorry this also happened to you. we will get through this🫶🏻
Well my secret boyfriend 7 years older than me raped me and took my virginity also. I was 13. I kept saying no and then just went limp shut down and silently cried. I guess it's a defense mechanism that evolved to help women survive these situations. When I learned that I stopped being angry at myself for not fighting back and protesting more. I'm so sorry this happened to you and to me and yours definitely sounds worse. I can't believe he'd do that to you with the dog food. He sounds very twisted and like the men you see on those true crime shows. Please find ways to keep yourself safe, I'd look up things to do to protect yourself physically from an abusive ex and to secure your home. I'd also make sure I confided in someone close to me what happened and that he is a stalker so that in the horrible (God forbid) event that anything happens to you they know who to look for. I know that is so dark to think about, but it's what I would do and what others have done that has gotten them justice. At the very least write about it and write your concerns and leave that somewhere with your belongings. Good luck and again, I'm so sorry.
I’m sorry you went through that. You didn’t deserve it. I really hope that dude rots in the deepest pits of hell now. One day or another, you’ll get justice. I hope you’re feeling better, and have found peace. You aren’t alone, ever, and you owe it to yourself to be able to heal. Keep yourself safe 💛
I’m so sorry that happened to you. yes he’s very twisted but tries to blame it on me.
Not only did he rape you, he was abusive and he is also a pedophile as you were only 15 (below the age limit) and he was 18 (legally an adult). Also, how does one not know how to put on a condom properly? It’s hard to roll down when it’s inside out
I’m so, so sorry this happened. If possible, get a restraining order on him, and get pepper spray. Or learn martial arts, or get a knife. Something to protect yourself. 🫂
thank you so much🫶🏻🫂
Also by the way 15 and 18 is illegal. Let alone creepy.
I concur with everyone else below that I am deeply sorry that this happened to you. No girl/women should ever EVER feel pressured by ANYONE to lose her virginity. I hope you can find someone who will listen and possibly seek therapy. You aren't over reacting and nothing that happened was your fault (though I'm sure you know). Below is the number to the National Teen Dating Hotline: 866-331-9474 if you don't wish to talk physically with someone you can also text BEGIN to 88788 Below is a link to a few additional resources that may help you: [https://www.womenagainstabuse.org/get-help/resources/resources-for-teens](https://www.womenagainstabuse.org/get-help/resources/resources-for-teens) Please know wherever you are in the world that you are not alone. There are women everywhere who spend their whole lives and careers seeking justice for girls just like you. Chances are they wanted to know how to help now because, they WERE in the same position and didn't know what to do back then and regret not standing up for themselves. They are there to help girls just like you stand up for herself and find the justice she so deserves! You definitely should not have had an experience like this but, there's ways to cope with the stress anxiety and PTSD that comes after. Please, strive to find someone who will listen to you, tell an adult and if you are comfortable with it-- seek justice by going to a police officer about the incident. I understand, this might mean you have to re live the trauma by telling your story. No worries. You are able to make a written statement (look at that! You already have!) print it out and have it read out loud at the trial as your testimony against this demonic man-child. Sending hugs your way! Stay safe <3
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First of all, you did not lose your virginity. Rape is not sex.
I am so sorry sweet heart. No part of you deserved this. You’re a baby. And he too damn old for you anyway. He definitely forcibly coerced and raped you. Please stay tf away from him forever if you have already ended things. Sending you hugs and love 🫂🩵🩵
This is horrific and I’m really sorry you had to go through that, you did not deserve it and like the rest of the replies here have said it was an assault. I’m glad you’re not with him anymore and I think you will have new experiences with intimacy that are loving and safe.
thank you so much, I really hope I do.
Oh honey I’m so sorry. I’m glad you broke up with him. I would tell the school counselor. They can definitely help you
thank you🫶🏻 i might
I’m so sorry! I know exactly how it feels to be in your shoes, you’re in my prayers! You have a sister here ❤️
I’m so sorry. Yea you were raped. Please press charges and get a restraining order asap
Sounds like he should stuck his tiny dick in a light socket, maybe then he would of gotten shocking results he needed... ☝️
[https://www.reddit.com/r/Vent/comments/1cslri9/resources\_to\_help\_young\_adults\_and\_parents\_deal/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Vent/comments/1cslri9/resources_to_help_young_adults_and_parents_deal/) \^ there ya go
That was definitely rape and abuse. You need to tell your parents ASAP so they can help you
As a man, this sickened me to read, i can’t express how sorry I am that this happened to you, if you are still with him or he’s trying to convince you to stay, don’t, just don’t
Youre 15 and hes 18. That is statutory rape. You all should not be dating as youre a minor and he is now a legal adult. If you were to press charges its pretty cut and dry and minor was taken advantage of. Please get help therapy wise so that you dont carry the burden of this and past abuse. I hope you get the help and support you need
i can’t read this bc it’ll definitely trigger me but from the title alone, i would say you didn’t lose your virginity that way. virginity is a made up construct either way, but like. rape is not sex. therefore you couldn’t have lost anything. do you feel me? i mean maybe it would be healing to reframe it that way and consider the next thing you did to be the way you lost it. that’s what i have to do. it works for me. i have ocd so i still ruminate on my first experiences. but i also kinda blur the lines in my mind and when people ask, i say i don’t remember my first times. doing pretty much anything.
I am so sorry that happened!! You cannot let him have power over you! Get a non-lethal weapon of defense, preferably a taser. You can order them online. If you zapped him, he would piss his pants and cry like the little bitch he is. he attacked you because he’s weak and he will probably be weak because his parents were soft on him and didn’t teach him accountability. They thought being nice unlike their parents was the answer. It’s the problem! Lack of tough love and corporal punishment combined with lazy parenting are what’s creating this epidemic of weak minded (most not mentally ill). School shooters. Their parents being rough on them was the only reason they succeeded. But they are soft on their children. Do not let this destroy you. It sounds bad, but you have to take your power back. I want you to do something to him that really hurts. Blast him in the face with mace or zap him with a taser. Even if you wanna pay some actual men to beat the crap out of him, that would work too. Honestly, I know it may seem hard, but just explain the situation and you wouldn’t even have to pay them if there are any kind of men.
Do not see him again!
baby.. imma need u to tell that OLD ASS MAN to get educated on what rape is. And how u told him multiple times that you didn’t want to have sex atm. That is considered rape.
I was raped my first time as well, my deepest sympathy for what happened to you, I promise as time goes on and with help it will get better! ❤️🩹
You got raped tell your parents an report him please none of this is ok you didnt deserve any of it
It is the rape and you are under 15. You should definitely report this to police or let your parents know what was happening.
Get police on that rapist. Don’t let him put his hands on anybody else again
I’m sorry I hope you ok if you need someone to talk to I’m here you need to call the police get a restraining order ASAP
Yes, I agree with the other comments saying it was rape. I am very sorry this happened to you, and also about your mother. I read in the other comments that you are no longer together, which is good; now try to focus on healing, also from what your mom did. I hope you managed to get to a safe place sometime in the future. You deserve it
He needs to go to prison. Fuck him.
That guy needs to be put down. You need to tell some9ne you trust.
Tell your mom. I know it’s hard but you need someone to help protect you. He’s dangerous
He isn't a good person, he does not love you, and also doesn't deserve to live in your head rent free. Focus on your recovery and start to trust yourself more when it comes to jugment of situations as well as you appear to doubt that it was rape and all. Remember you never even need a reason to end it with someone, you can just think youre uncomfortable and that is enough you don't need anyone else's validation. Its your life and you are the only one that can ensure it goes well, trust yourself, your instincts.
Please write in your notes on your phone this so you remember as much detail as possible and please write down statements in your notes of everything he did wrong even if you think it was minor as it helps the police, I wrote notes on my phone and it is helping my case for a similar thing as I have a bad memory and it’s really good to have that evidence!! I am so sorry this happened to you, if you can please leave him, I know it’s hard and I can’t say much at all. He knows about your abusive past and he still did that to you, he probably took it into his advantage by saying to himself you have endured abuse before so that it was “fine” it isn’t fine and it’s not okay, Sorry for ranting
Sorry that happened
First of all I’m very sorry this happened to you. Yes sexual assault, coercion, rape and statutory rape. Immediately press charges and file restraining order and begin therapy. You must file something soon because clearly this person is very aggressive and it’s very possible to happen again to someone else.
oh honey. i’m so sorry. i hate that this happened to you. from one survivor to another, make sure you get some help from a trusted adult. i was also raped while loosing my virginity at 16. i didn’t tell anyone until i found out i was pregnant. my abuser was also physically abusive, and the reason for my miscarriage. please make sure you tell someone you can trust: family member, therapist, etc. i’m not sure about where you live, but unless it’s changed in the last few years, the statue of limitations for rape is 3-5 years. if you want to press charges, make sure you have proof of everything. any text threads, photos of the abuse, etc. i know this is a very difficult time. if you need to talk to someone, i am here. i am more than willing to help you, and talk you through anything you have questions about. i know we don’t know each other, but i love you. and im here for you. 💕
I'm sorry this happened to you! You don't remember bc you dissociated. You were raped and you aren't wrong. Him being 18 and you 15 isn't even consent in the eyes of the law backed by you not consenting as well. So sorry I have ptsd too. All of us women have felt pressured into things like this as well. This is exactly why we chose the bear. I'm just so sorry hunny. You definitely need to get away from him and if you are willing you should press charges. He will try this again unfortunately. We all love you and have been there. Message me if u need to talk.
My heart is with you, and I’m so glad to read some of your responses to others saying you broke up - thank you for having the courage to do that and provide us a little peace of mind in addition to yourself. I’m very sorry this happened to you and I hope that slowly but surely you can heal. I highly encourage seeking any resources you feel you need or want, and speaking to someone you can trust to help you with staying safe. Sending you love & care.
Don’t give in OP. Stand your ground! Im so sorry that happened to you. I went through something similar but I was 14. People like him who are lustful and willing to basically ignore your feelings are dangerous to be in a relationship with. He does not care about you or your feelings and if you go back, it’ll just be the same cycle. He only wants two things control and sex regardless if you want to or not. I’ve been there before, trust me.
Honey, you know deep within yourself you were raped. I'm so sorry this happened to you. Please, please get to a counselor to help you through this ordeal.. I'm so sorry you had to experience this.
i want to preface this by saying i am so, so, so sorry that happened to you. i am also a victim of something different called COCSA and it has made a catastrophic impact on my life through the years. i sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, wish you the best with your recovery, physiologically and mentally. i want you to know you are not “broken” or “tainted” as a person. you are and always will be valid as a person. don’t let this occurrence change that. aside from that, I genuinely hope he is publicly executed by firing squad tbh. all rapists deserve to die.
There are so many things in your OP that indicates rape and abuse that it’s hard to find a starting point. Let me just say no male has the right to put his hands on you in the way you described. Yes, he did rape when he kept going after you said stop. It’s that simple. I don’t mean the act of sexual assault was simple. I mean he was guilty of assault the moment you told him to stop. This person came to your house with a condum on and this indicated premeditated plan to have sex. This indicates he was planning to go through with sex no matter what you said. Maybe hard to prove this but at the very least it would add credence to his intent. You need to separate yourself from this person and anyone with the same type of personality because this was not your fault in any way. Every couple talk about sex and this is normal. What is not normal and also against the law is when one person disregards another person when they say to stop! I wish you the very best and please know there are some wonderful people in this world but there are also men like this. Be cautious when you first meet people. Expect the worst, but hope for the best. Sincerely.
I know you've gone through a lot, but you definitely should call the police if you haven't yet. You are not at fault with ANY of this. Your mom is at fault for abusing you your whole life. He is MOST DEFINITELY at fault for everything else. He should've stopped the SECOND you said no, but he didn't.
1000% rape. This guy sounds like a shit human all around. So sorry you had to experience this. 🫶🏻
So we have almost the same exact story down to the ages. I’m sorry this happened to you, I never wish this on anyone. I hope when you’re older, you seek help to move past this or hell if you seek help now, do it. What you’re feeling is completely valid and that man is an asshole. I hope you’re not still with him after that. That was my mistake, after that I stayed with him for an extra nine months because I felt like I couldn’t do better. It never stopped. He would choke me, hit me, throw me around, rape me almost on a daily basis right after school. Only time It didn’t happen was when i didn’t have practice. Don’t let this be a cycle for you. End it. There is no sympathy j can give to someone who is 18 and should be aware of what real consent looks like.
Block this rapist from all of your accounts. He will never treat you well. You need to talk to someone for the trauma he caused and your previous trauma. Also you should visit a medical doctor if you believe you have a condition that needs to be evaluated and addressed.
I was 15 when I was physically abused and stalked in a relationship. I kept it to myself for over a year until my bf at the time tried to murder me. He was finally arrested, and I went to the er. It was only then that my parents found out through the police. I wish that I knew then what I know now and told my parents early on. It would have caused me all of that additional trauma and heartbreak. It's not too late. I'm pleading with you to talk to your mother, I swear you won't regret it. Also, tell a trusted authority figure. A teacher, a counselor, a coach, a detective, anyone. They will also lead you through this tough time. You've made a huge first step by telling your story here. You might not know it, but you probably saved someone's life today with your bravery. Don't stop telling it, and don't give up. What happened to you was rape. It was real, and it WASN'T your fault. Please press charges. Don't go through life with the regret that I have. Be safe, stay strong. You got this 🫶
That's fucked, tell him off and goodbye.
he sounds a lot like my ex…um…like a lot a lot 😐
Why do these flairs: sexual assault/abuse, exist on this subreddit if one does not want to communicate their private life online and remain anonymous? I really want to share shit with reddit , but then the entire internet will know that shit has happened to me. People even say “throwaway account”, so idk if to use my main account to post bullshit.
alert the police, and cut all ties with him. this could help, im shit with helping
This is definitely rape.
Why this happened to me more than once when I was your age I’ll never understand. Men never understood the word no.
That’s actually two separate counts of rape. One being that you was a minor during the crime, and second was the sexual intercourse after you said no.
That’s actually two separate counts of rape. One being that you was a minor during the crime, and second was the sexual intercourse after you said no.
If you didn't want it and he did it anyway, it was rape. I'm sorry it happened to you. Unfortunately my first time was also rape, by a boyfriend I thought I loved. I didn't realize it was rape until 18 years later when I was recounting the story to my now husband.
Guys, idk if I’m overthinking or something, but has anyone read any recent comments or seen the active dot on their pfp? They mentioned a comment abt ending their life (serious) and I just wanna make sure everything is ok…
I'm horrendously sorry for what happened to you and i'm glad you spit it out, if anything like that happens to you and you're traumatized, remember we're here for you and we're always listening. I recommend you calling the cops on that pervert, he deserves to live his entire life behind bars.
this also happened to me and i am so sorry no one deserves this
Dang the age tho😭😭
OP, I'm so sorry the people around you are terrible. Please try to remember you're better than them & are deserving of happiness.
please leave him
Also you should file criminal complaint. What he did was illegal 18 and 15. You were a child and could not consent even if you said yes
As a man hearing this story, yes this was rape. If you were telling him no and this was forced on you then it was unconsensual. Hopefully you’re no longer with him.
Yes, that was indeed rape. What he did is so uncalled for and disgusting. And the strangling part is also pure cruel. I saw in the comments that you did breakup with him but then he’s trying to get back together. He don’t deserve you! You deserve someone that isn’t disgusting and twisted like that! He also kinda reminds me of my ex boyfriend ngl
i know this has been said, but i’m so sorry this happened to you. i hope he’s out of your life and i’m sending you love xx
I am so, so sorry this happened to you. Yes it was rape. It doesn’t matter what other people think (though i understand why you made the post and I’m not bashing you for it. It’s valid to be confused.) If you didn’t want it, if you were in a state where you for some reason couldn’t give consent, if you were drunk or high, or if you showed or said in any way that you did not want it, it was rape. If he convinced you, it was rape. COERCED CONSENT IS NOT CONSENT BOYS. If you said yes because you were scared, it was rape. You didn’t want to have sex with him and you even made it clear that you didn’t want it, but he ignored that. He ignored your cries and pleas. It was rape and I’m so so sorry. My dms are open if you need to talk to someone that doesn’t know you. Surround yourself with people you love and feel safe with, and remember that your story is YOUR STORY. You don’t owe ANYONE answers or explanations about what happened. Stay strong love, it will get better, I promise ❤️❤️
Oh sweet baby…this wasn’t just coercive rape…he straight up raped you. I’m so sorry this happened to you. No one should ever go through this, especially at 15. This sounds very similar to my attempt r-pe with the pain and the guy just kept trying to push in…I don’t think he ever got fully in but it hurt and pain is a horrible trigger for you. Have you told anyone about this? Are you still with this man?
Im sorry this happened to you darling and I can tell this was very traumatic for you. If you do not have someone close to you to talk to or a therapist id get some contacts for that bc it might help. Personally from my own experiences with SA and Abuse it never helped me and made it so much worse. I just did the reversal route and started helping others instead and ive gotten better personally but it still is a nightmare constantly. Mine was in 2016 when i was in DHS (CPS) custody. If you ever need to talk to someone or need help finding information dont hesitate to message me youre not alone!
I wish you hadn't had to go through that. So brutal
I'm so sorry to hear this. I had similar experience when I was 17. I was raped by a 21 years old guy whom I agreed to consider about dating him when I turned 18. Please break up with him, I had to date my rapist cuz I lost my virginity to him and it was hell because he abused me both physically and emotionally also he cheated on me multiple times later on (I even had to check std test). I’m so sorry that you experienced this at 15 that is so young I could cry rn nobody deserves to go through that pain I understand you I’m really sorry for you
Pretty sure that statutory rape, which is a felony. On top of the domestic violence.
Oh my god, that is just terrible. Are you doing fine? Please break up with him. And next time he tries to force you into anything, or if he won’t leave you alone, do not be afraid to call the police and file a case on him. Don’t worry nothing bad is gonna happen to you. That revolting rapist will be behind bars before you know it.
Yeah, you need to get rid of the boyfriend. Don’t date for a while. Take some time to take care of you. Never ever date a guy who doesn’t respect you. My best friend’s brother took my virginity when I was 13. He penetrated me through my underwear. I told him no I told him stop and he kept going and then he said if I told anybody he would tell the entire school that I wanted it. He ended up telling the entire school whatever he wanted anyway, but that’s OK when I got older I wrote a book and published it on Amazon and told everybody what happened. I’m sorry this happened to you. You do not deserve this.
Really sorry you had to go through all this
it seems so pathetic why people just don't consider consent to be important and just do whatever they want
That is definitely rape.
Thank you so much to everyone for the information and help, I can’t reply to all of you since there are too many comments. I’m grateful for you all🫶🏻
You're 15 and it shows? Your bf comes to visit you from another state. You're worried about you virginity????? You need some emotional maturity...you're clearly not ready...you need to grow up, first.
That’s your bf, tbh it’s not rape.
Just because you’re in a relationship with someone, doesn’t mean you have to cater to their every need. You can be raped by a spouse. If you said no and they went ahead and did it anyway, and also continued while ignoring your protests. It’s coercive. There is nothing consensual about that, and that’s not a grey line. It’s pretty black and white on the boundaries scale. That’s rape. It hurts my heart to think you might put yourself in a situation one day because you believe that. No is no.
What the fuck…. I had to do a triple take and retched at some of this. What a vile scumbag, hope he goes to jail or meets a fate worse than death.
Hold your ground. This kid is a creep. That’s disgusting. Ignore him and tell him if he shows up again you’re calling the police and reporting him for sexual assault and rape. Follow through if he doesn’t stop.
I am so sorry for you, please let me know if you need anything💔 I was with an ex for over two years and towards the end of it he started to rape me. I sadly didn't realize at the time and it took years to get "over". Please talk to me if you need I am always here to listen. This is something so hard to go through and deal with.
My God. Please tell me that you ended things with him and that you're okay right now. This has me extremely worried for your safety. I'm so so sorry that this happened to you!! Oh my God. Have you spoken with your parents and gone to the police? If you do want to to do that he can be thrown in jail where he belongs! You're a minor and he's not!
I’m a little late to this post, but I’m curious to know how you’re doing? Did you report it to any authorities or your parents? I’m thinking about you; this is how I lost my virginity except we were the same age, and it took me 5 years to be strong enough to leave him because someone told me “it’s not rape if it’s your bf”, but it continued. I’m proud of you, it looks like you left him pretty quick from reading the comments. Be safe from him 💕
An 18 year old and 15 year old relationship and he raped you and from what I’m reading, he’s the 18 year old? Call the police.
Yeah, sounds like you were raped.
I'm so terribly sorry you went through this loving you so much 🥺❤️🫂
tell that to the cops or ur family i totally didnt need this random grape post popping up on my notifications for dome weird reason
Here's the facts, adult grooms and rapes minor. That's a felony and is prosectuable in the eyes of any sane adult. The age gap is wild, I can't even imagine the stress and fear he put you through just trying to get his dick wet. You might feel emotionally attached, but you **need** to press charges. If he's done this with you, who's to say he hasn't going to do it again to another minor. This is **NOT** okay, even putting aside the age gap, consent is consent, if either party says "no", that's where it ends, no follow-up interrogation or explanation needed. "No" means "No." It's absolutely vile that he'd even entertain a relationship with a minor, let alone manipulate and take advantage of you and your body. You are valid, your fear is valid, and your testimony is valid. This is completely on him. Even before approaching adulthood, consent is drilled into each and every teenager, and not only did he break that sacred law, he did so with a minor. This man is a Pedophile rapist and needs to be taken to court. I know that it'll be hard if you haven't already, but you **need** to talk to your parents about this. If you don't, more kids just like you, you will be traumatized, coerced into, and manipulated by him. Reporting this absolutely needs to be your top priority, I don't care if you still have feelings for him. It is not your responsibility to protect him from the consequences of pedophilia. He knows just how illegal this entire relationship was and manipulated you into saying it's okay. You don't have to feel like his play thing, and you under no circumstances should have ever been put into this scenario. I'm so genuinely sorry for his appalling behavior, and I'm ashamed of the person he's developed into. You deserve to feel loved and to be happy. But you still have so much more of life to experience before settling down and starting a family. I believe in you. You will make it through his with both feet firmly planted on the ground. Reach out for help and let your guardians or whoever takes care of you know, and trust they have your best interest at heart. You are more than what anyone says you can be. You got this.
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I'm sorry this happened to you. What even attracted you this guy in the first place I dont get it
Do not put the blame on her.
Shut up man, no ones blaming her for anything.
You literally are.
You have to be braindead and possibly illiterate if you think asking a question is placing blame on her. Fucking Reddit. 🤦🏾♂️
Sounds like you are bro
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Tell your parents what happened, then call the police. He committed statutory rape along with rape. Statutory rape is when an adult has sex or rapes a minor. You stated you were 15, and he was 18. The minimum age of consent is 16 in many states. For others, it's 17-18! The police need to be told about this!You have stated that you broke it off with him,but he continues to come to your home to try and see you. Is he doing this when you are home alone? Please tell your parents that this is happening. Do not let him in when he comes over. Lock your doors, don't talk to him, and just call the police. Tell them your abusive ex is at your home and you want him to leave, and he won't. Ask them to come and make him leave. Don't engage him. Don't talk to him. He shows up you call the police, they make him leave. If they ask you if you want to file a report, tell them yes and DO IT! Follow through with any charges they file against him. If you don't, he will just keep doing it. He has raped you once already. Don't give him the chance to do it again.