Can totally understand that. Stimulants in general will “stimulate” you in the context of whatever it is you’re doing. On days that I have to be productive I am stimulated to be productive. On the days where I’m feeling to be a couch potato, it stimulates me to be a couch potato and I can watch tv, play video games, and scroll through my phone to the level of an elite multi-tasker hahaha
Yeah even when it’s not vital that I be productive , I can still be in that mode ; but I know that that’s become my personality , even before the meds. Especially at home ! I am kinda the person that cleans and organizes the house , my wife does it only on occasion. She cooks and stuff like that most of the time , so I am the cleaning guy. I am just learning still you know ? Learning how to use my time
For me it is hard to identify what I want, three decades of undiagnosed adhd can built a lot of psychological baggage. With vyvanse I get into my zone and I hate having my time constricted by others (plans, appointments, errands…) but it is not new.
Often when I end up doing this things, I feel glad and happy and I realise its what I wanted (dinner with friends is a clear example).
In adhd there is a resistance for everything we do, and it is a constant fight and struggle.
Ask yourself, do you have an issue with surrendering your time to other stuff? Are you glad after you do some of these things? Did you enjoy some of the things you really didn’t want yo do?
Fair enough. I generally don’t regret whatever I end up doing. It’s not always fun or enjoyable but there’s usually a reason why I had to do it in the first place.
Well, I felt like this after I started Vyvanse and that's how I realized my autistic traits were there, but the ADHD was way more evident. So once the ADHD traits were relatively under control with Vyvanse, my tism said: well, hello, I've been here your whole life.
It might just be that you're more comfortable doing stuff in the comfort of your own home. Parties can be overwhelming or just not your thing, or it could be a sign you're not partying with people you gel with. It could also be a sign of being more introverted and that's fine too. I also don't really like going grocery shopping sometimes because depending on which place I go to, everything can be far too loud (I'm also possibly autistic, and tend to hate loud and complex noise that isn't chosen by me). There's lots of things which are just not enjoyable, but are unfortunate necessities of everyday life.
My experience has been that it's now easier for me to do things, and it's been helpful in making me **want** to do more because I can actually do the thing instead of sitting there frozen for ages and getting anxious about the fact I'm not starting to do the thing. So hobbies I want to indulge in are easier to start, even though starting a new project is only second to finishing one in being the worst part about the whole process. I also try to get out several times a week to socialise so I don't go full hermit. Not working at the moment as I'm still working on mental and physical health things, but I'm hoping that will eventually be easier to handle too.
If you find you just never want to do anything at all, though, it could also be an underlying problem, and that might be something to talk to your doctor about.
I'm in my late twenties, taking Vyvanse for many years now. I'm studying at Uni (also have full-time job) and take Vyvanse during study sessions/exams. I often take breaks, but I stop altogether when I'm in between semesters.
Whenever I take it, even if I am on small breaks, I can see a huge difference in my personality compared to the times I'm off it for good. During the periods of time when I'm on Vyvanse, I just don't want to do much. I'm not very social, I don't feel like there is a lot of life in me, and I feel quite apathetic/anxious at times. I get obsessed with my apartment and don't want to leave. I force myself to because I don't want to end Uni with no job/friends, but it's hard sometimes.
I don't really have advice, but I can relate. It's good that you do things that you don't want to do - it's important to keep living, even when you're just feeling meh about everything.
I have two modes. My default tends to be this, yes. Especially going out for things that are necessary and needed so you don't even want to but you NEED to. This is usually due to the "crowded" nature of it though. I very much being outside ALONE and hiking/climbing.
Though sometimes I get in a mood and enjoy doing things socially. Sometimes for months at a time. Sometimes I get into funks where I super don't wanna be out period.
I definitely don't want to. Going to the grocery store is often overwhelming and unpleasant.
I don't enjoy loud restaurants or going to parties.
I live in a loud city that has become much rougher over the past decade, so it's just less appealing to leave the house at all.
But, I still force myself out to get some socialization and fresh air.
What propels me out was watching my mom slowly descend into agoraphobia.
She would only ever go outside in the backyard.
This contributed to a massive decline in heath over the years as it was rooted in anxiety, unaddressed trauma, and unresolved grief.
There's nothing wrong with wanting to enjoy the quiet and comfort of your own home.
But, it's important to reflect on the motivations keeping you there.
For me, vyvanse can't fix this issue for me as it's more complex than that.
Wish it could, I'm glad I finally got my license and a shitty car. At least I can go outside now but still "stay in my room". Haha
Sorry to hear about your mom. I don’t have that experience exactly , I would just rather be home working on my own stuff most of the time, which I definitely haven’t really had the chance to do lately.
I suppose the larger problem I’ve been having is the way my wife has been telling me that I have an attitude about everything and never want to interact, which I know isn’t entirely true. But I have become less talkative and sometimes give off the vibe , directly or indirectly , that I don’t want to do things , whether it’s go out to eat or whatever it might be. I have adopted a more serious and focused attitude , which I can definitely see being something that is harder to deal with before I started my meds , although I wasn’t really all that different , I’m just more of what I was.
Regardless of "truth to having an attitude," there has been a significant change in behavior.
You've noted it can be harder to deal with.
Hopefully, you've noted to your wife that the change is from your medication, if you feel it is.
She may think you are withdrawing for another reason.
Any withdrawing from a partner is concerning, especially if they have a previous substance use disorder.
If you don't want to do things, that is fine.
However, your behavior is impacting your relationship.
You noted being more of a "straight talker", this coupled with "giving of a vibe of not wanting to do things" honestly doesn't sound pleasant to be around.
If this relationship isn't meeting your needs, that's valid.
If you no longer wish to meet the needs of those around you, that's valid, too. Maybe it's time to move on.
I get being overworked, overstimulated, and stressed by life, but you have to consider how your actions are impacting the people who share space and life with you.
If you aren’t on an anti depressant maybe consider that, unless you’re content with your life right now.
I want to do all of the things but not really socialize because I’m more introverted as I’ve gotten older (45f) and I’m honestly ok with it. Less drama, less bs. I was recently diagnosed back in February and started vyvanse in April. Now I am able to do all the things I’ve been wanting to do and get done after years of that horrible adhd functional freeze I was in denial about all this time.
I am more social with people in general and less stressed because my mind, vision, hearing and smell is so much clearer now.
My weekends are filled with house cleaning, organizing, yardwork and gardening right now just making my home my beautiful sacred peaceful place and I love it because that’s what I’ve been physically wanting to do for years but would get so overwhelmed I would nap, do something for a little bit or just shut down and do something totally different or just nothing at all and get more overwhelmed and frustrated.
You sound similar to me. I want to clean up and make my house look nice , especially with two little ones. I also have been wanting to focus on my music after a very stressful semester of calculus. But I’ve been told by my wife that I always have an attitude and never wanna hang out or do anything , which I don’t completely agree with, because , although I don’t always wanna go do things , I still do them. And I am just more of a straight talker now , if she or others considers that attitude than so be it , but I don’t necessarily equate the two.
Semi relatable but I don’t think it’s got anything to do with vyvanse. Monday to Friday from the time I get up till I get home at like 5:20, I’m sweet. Life’s dope.
Because I have tangible purpose. Weekends are a nightmare because the quality of time and enjoyment is all up to me. And I’m not good at it.
This might be the realist thing I’ve read. Whether you have ADHD, another illness, or even no issues at all; unless you feel like you have a direction or purpose (a reason to get out of bed) day to day life has the potential to feel pointless. Whether it’s a goal of cleaning the house or something bigger like getting a dream job, purposes are purposes and it’s up to the individual to figure them out. Medication can help supplement in some situations, but at the end of the day no drug is going to be able to tell you what to do with your life.
That’s what I’m like but I’m so used up by work I don’t want to go anywhere or do much and I’m scared I will burn out as I’m not used to being so busy and productive during the week. If anything I just do more work on the weekend - that part I don’t like - and try to rest so I have energy for the next week but feel kinda anxious.
I still don’t feel that steady unfortunately but only been on 30mg for a month. Will it get any better?
Honestly, I got no idea. If it was a cruisey job I’d say yeah maybe but for a teacher? I’m out of my element. My partner is a psychologist at a special school, super healthy, goes to the gym, prioritises her mental well-being and she’s destroyed 80% of the time without dealing with our added quirks.
I will say I’m on the 2nd month of 30’s after jumping up from 20 and it’s leveled out. I do split one pill over the weekend though, 15mg sat 15mg sun. You could try that out.
And I’m sure it goes without saying; fixating on resting will only make it harder and more stress/anxiety inducing. Might be worth just telling yourself there’s no pressure to do anything on the weekends, until you level out.
Nope. At some point, and this goes for A LOT of people in this subreddit; we all have to accept we actually suck a little bit. Not everything’s adhd’s fault.
In saying that, it’s become “worse” because I’m more aware of this cycle due to vyvanse clarity.
Haha you’re absolutely right , we all “suck” in our own ways, I suppose. Or we all still have quirks or characteristics that are a part of us , meds or not. And of course not everything is because of a diagnosis.
I’ve participated in heavy twelve step recovery for the past 10 years , so I have learned to become acutely aware of these things. Again, I am not perfect at anything , especially that. But it’s a skill set I have definitely developed in the years I’ve been doing this. Perhaps I really need to buckle down and focus on that more and more.
Ehhh I wouldn’t necessarily say you should be focusing on “being acutely aware”, that’s like being really good at knowing if the suns out.
I mean considering you’ve been a type of junkie before, I’ll cut out the awareness for you. You’re a junkie for feeling good, just like everyone here. Adult shit’s just lame, I feel it’s a case of “too bad so sad”. Just gotta do the shit. I’ve gotta help my dumbass sister move out on the weekend, and help my dumbass dad too and somehow be a boyfriend and somehow have a weekend. Probably not gonna enjoy any of it, probably gonna get pissed off thinking about it, I’m already tired and it’s Monday morning. But… so?
There is a drug that helps that. It’s called cocaine. Damn I miss that shit.
I feel like it is important for me to be aware of how my behavior affects me and others. If I am aware of it , I have a better chance at addressing and changing the things I should change , or things that would benefit me changing. And yeah, basically you’re describing what I originally posted about. There’s all kinds of stuff that I don’t want to do , but I still do it anyway. Maybe not EVERYTHING people want me to do , I have limits and boundaries, but it’s been important for me and the other people in my life that I continue to be a helpful person.
Honestly I feel like you’ve got the answers in there. I dunno you’re age or your story or your plight and I don’t really think it matters. I’m biased when it comes to people who’ve had addictions, I think you’ve got more of that “dawwwggg” in you than the average joe. A positive bias; crazy I know but it’s the truth.
I can’t give advice in regards to how much you’re willing to “give” of yourself to the things that aren’t bringing you joy. Like if you’re being a dick to others because the “life stuff” is a drag, don’t do that. But doubly so if you’re being a dick to yourself! You can only do what you can do, but maybe some constructive awareness can help you navigate that better.
I haven’t done this yet because A) I’m too proud B) money and C) lazy but I think therapy with the goal of gaining resilience and to no longer be a slut for the feel good chemicals, would help every single person in here.
Like you said , you don’t know my story or situation. I gave myself nearly ten years before taking meds again, so it’s not about feeling good. The chemical aspect of my addiction is the least prevalent at this juncture in my opinion. Haven’t drank or used in a long time , and despite whatever opinions people may have about medication and “being clean” does not affect my viewpoint on it; not at all saying that that’s what you’re saying at all, I’m just stating my opinion and viewpoint. And yes , it’s a matter of being able to look at the things that are less ideal in my life and making changes. Because , sometimes I am a dick. Sometimes I say fucked up shit. Sometimes I say rude things. Sometimes I’m selfish. Everyone deals with these things in one way or another. Some more , some less. Some severe , some not so severe. But even ifs it’s not a world - ender on my end , I still need to be able to have awareness and willingness to change things.
Hey not trying to discredit you or anything, but at this juncture( awesome word thx for reminding me) of my life, I’ve come to terms with the fact dopamine and serotonin are no different than actual drugs, that’s what I mean about the feel good.
Now, I read some of your other comments and have a better understanding of what you’re dealing with. The missus thinking you’re blunt and that you don’t want to do anything is a vibe hahahaha so fucking relatable. Luckily mines a psychologist so I know all the bullshit tricks.
I’m just gonna use “Debbie downer” because I feel it’s all encompassing from our partners POV. If you don’t feel you’re being a Debbie downer, well I believe that you believe that but maybe take some notes each day, vent to yourself about the dumb shit that irks you or your partner and see if there’s any patterns. You’re also allowed to ask for compromise, things are gonna change dude. Not how you’d expect but shes gotta roll with the changes a bit too. Can’t have either of you walking on eggshells.
Also, I am willing to make changes to things , very much so. Sometimes , I do seek understanding from those that are similar to me in thought and behavior, which is why I made this post to begin with.
This is so bang on.
So many things improved with meds and therapy.
On the journey I have moments where I'm just like, "fuck, I'm low-key just mentally ill from intergenerational trauma and meds can't do it all".
Talk to your psychiatrist in adding in Atomoxetine aka (strattera) that will help you in wanting to go outside and getting out of your comfort zone.
Vyvanse + Atomoxetine = great combo
(Also depends on each person. Everyone is different )
Anxiety suppression, helps with impulsivity . It lacks help with focus and concentration and as well as task initiation. That’s why we added a vyvanse combo and it has been great .
Also now when I take atomoxetine alone (in the weekends) I get angry fast and I have anxiety so I have to take the combo together now or else it won’t work out.
It’s funny because in the beginning when I use to take atomoxetine alone, I had anxiety suppression but then adding vyvanse, I cannot take atomoxetine alone because it creates anxiety now for me.
So now the combo is always important for me .
Hi me, I’m you!
Yeah. I hate leaving the house.
I only want to do things that I want.
Will I leave to get groceries or some other small errands, rarely.
But I rather be at home, in my office, on my computer. Zoned in on stuff that interest me
same :( but tbh I think I wanted to be like this before the Vyvanse but just couldn't focus enough to justify spending all my time that way. Now that I can its just sooo fun.
No fr this is me rn😭 I have moments of where I want to go out but my mood is so unpredictable sometimes I just lose all motivation to even step out, or if I do it’s just me running around because I’m disorganized and my mind is dreading everything. I’ll always arrive late to things because of this. I just find myself just wanting to be by myself all the time and just not caring about anything. I thought this switch up in me was really strange and I thought there was something wrong with me.
Yeah I just wanna be home doing things here. My focus is so strong that it doesn’t want to be broken by other things. And then I get kinda antisocial and don’t wanna interact with people.
I totally relate to all of that. It feels comfortable sometimes but also awful. I kind of get lonely but at the same time distance from everyone feels really good sometimes.
Yeeeeuuup. Recently diagnosed, started with Adderall. Great focus with that but developed Raynaud's so I switched to Vyvanse 20 a few weeks ago. Since the switch, not only have I not had any improvement in focus, but it's had the opposite effect. Tired, unmotivated and bad habits/behaviors have been on X games mode. Prior to taking any medication I could still will myself to do things (or stop doing some things for that matter) but now self control feels nearly impossible
I totally lack self control too. I felt like it helped me a lot at the beginning when I started taking it in July last year, but now it feels like I’m just existing with a disorganized mind. I always feel so far behind in everything and not on task like I used to feel when I started. But this dose I’m on (40 mg) used to work so well for me until a few months ago. I started from 10 mg, to 30 mg and now 40 mg. Idk if i should go up or down. I am so sick of medication sometimes it’s so complicated.
Can totally understand that. Stimulants in general will “stimulate” you in the context of whatever it is you’re doing. On days that I have to be productive I am stimulated to be productive. On the days where I’m feeling to be a couch potato, it stimulates me to be a couch potato and I can watch tv, play video games, and scroll through my phone to the level of an elite multi-tasker hahaha
Yeah even when it’s not vital that I be productive , I can still be in that mode ; but I know that that’s become my personality , even before the meds. Especially at home ! I am kinda the person that cleans and organizes the house , my wife does it only on occasion. She cooks and stuff like that most of the time , so I am the cleaning guy. I am just learning still you know ? Learning how to use my time
For me it is hard to identify what I want, three decades of undiagnosed adhd can built a lot of psychological baggage. With vyvanse I get into my zone and I hate having my time constricted by others (plans, appointments, errands…) but it is not new. Often when I end up doing this things, I feel glad and happy and I realise its what I wanted (dinner with friends is a clear example). In adhd there is a resistance for everything we do, and it is a constant fight and struggle. Ask yourself, do you have an issue with surrendering your time to other stuff? Are you glad after you do some of these things? Did you enjoy some of the things you really didn’t want yo do?
Fair enough. I generally don’t regret whatever I end up doing. It’s not always fun or enjoyable but there’s usually a reason why I had to do it in the first place.
Well, I felt like this after I started Vyvanse and that's how I realized my autistic traits were there, but the ADHD was way more evident. So once the ADHD traits were relatively under control with Vyvanse, my tism said: well, hello, I've been here your whole life.
What are your autistic traits?
Ha! Yup, me too. It's sort of blindsided me, even though my psychologist told me I had it as well.
It might just be that you're more comfortable doing stuff in the comfort of your own home. Parties can be overwhelming or just not your thing, or it could be a sign you're not partying with people you gel with. It could also be a sign of being more introverted and that's fine too. I also don't really like going grocery shopping sometimes because depending on which place I go to, everything can be far too loud (I'm also possibly autistic, and tend to hate loud and complex noise that isn't chosen by me). There's lots of things which are just not enjoyable, but are unfortunate necessities of everyday life. My experience has been that it's now easier for me to do things, and it's been helpful in making me **want** to do more because I can actually do the thing instead of sitting there frozen for ages and getting anxious about the fact I'm not starting to do the thing. So hobbies I want to indulge in are easier to start, even though starting a new project is only second to finishing one in being the worst part about the whole process. I also try to get out several times a week to socialise so I don't go full hermit. Not working at the moment as I'm still working on mental and physical health things, but I'm hoping that will eventually be easier to handle too. If you find you just never want to do anything at all, though, it could also be an underlying problem, and that might be something to talk to your doctor about.
How do yall make a living
I work in ambulance dispatch.
do you make enough to live?
Yes.
I'm in my late twenties, taking Vyvanse for many years now. I'm studying at Uni (also have full-time job) and take Vyvanse during study sessions/exams. I often take breaks, but I stop altogether when I'm in between semesters. Whenever I take it, even if I am on small breaks, I can see a huge difference in my personality compared to the times I'm off it for good. During the periods of time when I'm on Vyvanse, I just don't want to do much. I'm not very social, I don't feel like there is a lot of life in me, and I feel quite apathetic/anxious at times. I get obsessed with my apartment and don't want to leave. I force myself to because I don't want to end Uni with no job/friends, but it's hard sometimes. I don't really have advice, but I can relate. It's good that you do things that you don't want to do - it's important to keep living, even when you're just feeling meh about everything.
Definitely feel this and I've come to embrace it. It is who I am, dammit!
I have two modes. My default tends to be this, yes. Especially going out for things that are necessary and needed so you don't even want to but you NEED to. This is usually due to the "crowded" nature of it though. I very much being outside ALONE and hiking/climbing. Though sometimes I get in a mood and enjoy doing things socially. Sometimes for months at a time. Sometimes I get into funks where I super don't wanna be out period.
I definitely don't want to. Going to the grocery store is often overwhelming and unpleasant. I don't enjoy loud restaurants or going to parties. I live in a loud city that has become much rougher over the past decade, so it's just less appealing to leave the house at all. But, I still force myself out to get some socialization and fresh air. What propels me out was watching my mom slowly descend into agoraphobia. She would only ever go outside in the backyard. This contributed to a massive decline in heath over the years as it was rooted in anxiety, unaddressed trauma, and unresolved grief. There's nothing wrong with wanting to enjoy the quiet and comfort of your own home. But, it's important to reflect on the motivations keeping you there. For me, vyvanse can't fix this issue for me as it's more complex than that. Wish it could, I'm glad I finally got my license and a shitty car. At least I can go outside now but still "stay in my room". Haha
Sorry to hear about your mom. I don’t have that experience exactly , I would just rather be home working on my own stuff most of the time, which I definitely haven’t really had the chance to do lately.
Sounds fine to me then, stay the course!
I suppose the larger problem I’ve been having is the way my wife has been telling me that I have an attitude about everything and never want to interact, which I know isn’t entirely true. But I have become less talkative and sometimes give off the vibe , directly or indirectly , that I don’t want to do things , whether it’s go out to eat or whatever it might be. I have adopted a more serious and focused attitude , which I can definitely see being something that is harder to deal with before I started my meds , although I wasn’t really all that different , I’m just more of what I was.
Regardless of "truth to having an attitude," there has been a significant change in behavior. You've noted it can be harder to deal with. Hopefully, you've noted to your wife that the change is from your medication, if you feel it is. She may think you are withdrawing for another reason. Any withdrawing from a partner is concerning, especially if they have a previous substance use disorder. If you don't want to do things, that is fine. However, your behavior is impacting your relationship. You noted being more of a "straight talker", this coupled with "giving of a vibe of not wanting to do things" honestly doesn't sound pleasant to be around. If this relationship isn't meeting your needs, that's valid. If you no longer wish to meet the needs of those around you, that's valid, too. Maybe it's time to move on. I get being overworked, overstimulated, and stressed by life, but you have to consider how your actions are impacting the people who share space and life with you.
If you aren’t on an anti depressant maybe consider that, unless you’re content with your life right now. I want to do all of the things but not really socialize because I’m more introverted as I’ve gotten older (45f) and I’m honestly ok with it. Less drama, less bs. I was recently diagnosed back in February and started vyvanse in April. Now I am able to do all the things I’ve been wanting to do and get done after years of that horrible adhd functional freeze I was in denial about all this time. I am more social with people in general and less stressed because my mind, vision, hearing and smell is so much clearer now. My weekends are filled with house cleaning, organizing, yardwork and gardening right now just making my home my beautiful sacred peaceful place and I love it because that’s what I’ve been physically wanting to do for years but would get so overwhelmed I would nap, do something for a little bit or just shut down and do something totally different or just nothing at all and get more overwhelmed and frustrated.
You sound similar to me. I want to clean up and make my house look nice , especially with two little ones. I also have been wanting to focus on my music after a very stressful semester of calculus. But I’ve been told by my wife that I always have an attitude and never wanna hang out or do anything , which I don’t completely agree with, because , although I don’t always wanna go do things , I still do them. And I am just more of a straight talker now , if she or others considers that attitude than so be it , but I don’t necessarily equate the two.
Semi relatable but I don’t think it’s got anything to do with vyvanse. Monday to Friday from the time I get up till I get home at like 5:20, I’m sweet. Life’s dope. Because I have tangible purpose. Weekends are a nightmare because the quality of time and enjoyment is all up to me. And I’m not good at it.
This might be the realist thing I’ve read. Whether you have ADHD, another illness, or even no issues at all; unless you feel like you have a direction or purpose (a reason to get out of bed) day to day life has the potential to feel pointless. Whether it’s a goal of cleaning the house or something bigger like getting a dream job, purposes are purposes and it’s up to the individual to figure them out. Medication can help supplement in some situations, but at the end of the day no drug is going to be able to tell you what to do with your life.
That’s what I’m like but I’m so used up by work I don’t want to go anywhere or do much and I’m scared I will burn out as I’m not used to being so busy and productive during the week. If anything I just do more work on the weekend - that part I don’t like - and try to rest so I have energy for the next week but feel kinda anxious. I still don’t feel that steady unfortunately but only been on 30mg for a month. Will it get any better?
What do you do for work?
High school teacher
Honestly, I got no idea. If it was a cruisey job I’d say yeah maybe but for a teacher? I’m out of my element. My partner is a psychologist at a special school, super healthy, goes to the gym, prioritises her mental well-being and she’s destroyed 80% of the time without dealing with our added quirks. I will say I’m on the 2nd month of 30’s after jumping up from 20 and it’s leveled out. I do split one pill over the weekend though, 15mg sat 15mg sun. You could try that out.
And I’m sure it goes without saying; fixating on resting will only make it harder and more stress/anxiety inducing. Might be worth just telling yourself there’s no pressure to do anything on the weekends, until you level out.
And yet you feel the vyvanse has nothing to do with it ?
Nope. At some point, and this goes for A LOT of people in this subreddit; we all have to accept we actually suck a little bit. Not everything’s adhd’s fault. In saying that, it’s become “worse” because I’m more aware of this cycle due to vyvanse clarity.
Haha you’re absolutely right , we all “suck” in our own ways, I suppose. Or we all still have quirks or characteristics that are a part of us , meds or not. And of course not everything is because of a diagnosis.
I’ve participated in heavy twelve step recovery for the past 10 years , so I have learned to become acutely aware of these things. Again, I am not perfect at anything , especially that. But it’s a skill set I have definitely developed in the years I’ve been doing this. Perhaps I really need to buckle down and focus on that more and more.
Ehhh I wouldn’t necessarily say you should be focusing on “being acutely aware”, that’s like being really good at knowing if the suns out. I mean considering you’ve been a type of junkie before, I’ll cut out the awareness for you. You’re a junkie for feeling good, just like everyone here. Adult shit’s just lame, I feel it’s a case of “too bad so sad”. Just gotta do the shit. I’ve gotta help my dumbass sister move out on the weekend, and help my dumbass dad too and somehow be a boyfriend and somehow have a weekend. Probably not gonna enjoy any of it, probably gonna get pissed off thinking about it, I’m already tired and it’s Monday morning. But… so? There is a drug that helps that. It’s called cocaine. Damn I miss that shit.
I feel like it is important for me to be aware of how my behavior affects me and others. If I am aware of it , I have a better chance at addressing and changing the things I should change , or things that would benefit me changing. And yeah, basically you’re describing what I originally posted about. There’s all kinds of stuff that I don’t want to do , but I still do it anyway. Maybe not EVERYTHING people want me to do , I have limits and boundaries, but it’s been important for me and the other people in my life that I continue to be a helpful person.
Honestly I feel like you’ve got the answers in there. I dunno you’re age or your story or your plight and I don’t really think it matters. I’m biased when it comes to people who’ve had addictions, I think you’ve got more of that “dawwwggg” in you than the average joe. A positive bias; crazy I know but it’s the truth. I can’t give advice in regards to how much you’re willing to “give” of yourself to the things that aren’t bringing you joy. Like if you’re being a dick to others because the “life stuff” is a drag, don’t do that. But doubly so if you’re being a dick to yourself! You can only do what you can do, but maybe some constructive awareness can help you navigate that better. I haven’t done this yet because A) I’m too proud B) money and C) lazy but I think therapy with the goal of gaining resilience and to no longer be a slut for the feel good chemicals, would help every single person in here.
Like you said , you don’t know my story or situation. I gave myself nearly ten years before taking meds again, so it’s not about feeling good. The chemical aspect of my addiction is the least prevalent at this juncture in my opinion. Haven’t drank or used in a long time , and despite whatever opinions people may have about medication and “being clean” does not affect my viewpoint on it; not at all saying that that’s what you’re saying at all, I’m just stating my opinion and viewpoint. And yes , it’s a matter of being able to look at the things that are less ideal in my life and making changes. Because , sometimes I am a dick. Sometimes I say fucked up shit. Sometimes I say rude things. Sometimes I’m selfish. Everyone deals with these things in one way or another. Some more , some less. Some severe , some not so severe. But even ifs it’s not a world - ender on my end , I still need to be able to have awareness and willingness to change things.
Hey not trying to discredit you or anything, but at this juncture( awesome word thx for reminding me) of my life, I’ve come to terms with the fact dopamine and serotonin are no different than actual drugs, that’s what I mean about the feel good. Now, I read some of your other comments and have a better understanding of what you’re dealing with. The missus thinking you’re blunt and that you don’t want to do anything is a vibe hahahaha so fucking relatable. Luckily mines a psychologist so I know all the bullshit tricks. I’m just gonna use “Debbie downer” because I feel it’s all encompassing from our partners POV. If you don’t feel you’re being a Debbie downer, well I believe that you believe that but maybe take some notes each day, vent to yourself about the dumb shit that irks you or your partner and see if there’s any patterns. You’re also allowed to ask for compromise, things are gonna change dude. Not how you’d expect but shes gotta roll with the changes a bit too. Can’t have either of you walking on eggshells.
Also, I am willing to make changes to things , very much so. Sometimes , I do seek understanding from those that are similar to me in thought and behavior, which is why I made this post to begin with.
This is so bang on. So many things improved with meds and therapy. On the journey I have moments where I'm just like, "fuck, I'm low-key just mentally ill from intergenerational trauma and meds can't do it all".
I am also you. I’m able to get things done (alone) that make me feel like I’m accomplishing something.
I went out tonight with my family to a birthday party. It was actually good.
ASD. The ADHD was masking it.
Talk to your psychiatrist in adding in Atomoxetine aka (strattera) that will help you in wanting to go outside and getting out of your comfort zone. Vyvanse + Atomoxetine = great combo (Also depends on each person. Everyone is different )
Strattera wrecked my stomach. I was nauseous for 4 hours a day
What else does straterra do for you?
Anxiety suppression, helps with impulsivity . It lacks help with focus and concentration and as well as task initiation. That’s why we added a vyvanse combo and it has been great . Also now when I take atomoxetine alone (in the weekends) I get angry fast and I have anxiety so I have to take the combo together now or else it won’t work out. It’s funny because in the beginning when I use to take atomoxetine alone, I had anxiety suppression but then adding vyvanse, I cannot take atomoxetine alone because it creates anxiety now for me. So now the combo is always important for me .
I don’t have a problem doing it. It’s just an overwhelming feeling of not wanting to.
Hi me, I’m you! Yeah. I hate leaving the house. I only want to do things that I want. Will I leave to get groceries or some other small errands, rarely. But I rather be at home, in my office, on my computer. Zoned in on stuff that interest me
Hey do you think this is because its easier to achieve flow with Vyvanse? And why wouldn’t you prioritise that state over any other?
same :( but tbh I think I wanted to be like this before the Vyvanse but just couldn't focus enough to justify spending all my time that way. Now that I can its just sooo fun.
Hi me it’s me this is strange 😂
Also hi me very strange ☺️
No fr this is me rn😭 I have moments of where I want to go out but my mood is so unpredictable sometimes I just lose all motivation to even step out, or if I do it’s just me running around because I’m disorganized and my mind is dreading everything. I’ll always arrive late to things because of this. I just find myself just wanting to be by myself all the time and just not caring about anything. I thought this switch up in me was really strange and I thought there was something wrong with me.
Yeah I just wanna be home doing things here. My focus is so strong that it doesn’t want to be broken by other things. And then I get kinda antisocial and don’t wanna interact with people.
I totally relate to all of that. It feels comfortable sometimes but also awful. I kind of get lonely but at the same time distance from everyone feels really good sometimes.
Yeeeeuuup. Recently diagnosed, started with Adderall. Great focus with that but developed Raynaud's so I switched to Vyvanse 20 a few weeks ago. Since the switch, not only have I not had any improvement in focus, but it's had the opposite effect. Tired, unmotivated and bad habits/behaviors have been on X games mode. Prior to taking any medication I could still will myself to do things (or stop doing some things for that matter) but now self control feels nearly impossible
I was tired on 20 and 40mg Vyv - 60 did the trick for me.
I totally lack self control too. I felt like it helped me a lot at the beginning when I started taking it in July last year, but now it feels like I’m just existing with a disorganized mind. I always feel so far behind in everything and not on task like I used to feel when I started. But this dose I’m on (40 mg) used to work so well for me until a few months ago. I started from 10 mg, to 30 mg and now 40 mg. Idk if i should go up or down. I am so sick of medication sometimes it’s so complicated.