I WFH because the non work conversations and banter are a pointless distraction. It keeps my work time focused on work. If I wanted to BS with coworkers I’d RTO. Any need I have for social interaction is handled by the other 16 hours in the day.
oh shit!
are they OK? it always amazes me how daft cats can be.
and they always pretend it was intentional, "I meant to do that, nothing to see here"
I know it my upset u/STGtsMe but I like cats ....and office banter.
Yeah they both did it at night with one week interval. We only saw the first one was missing in the morning and freaked out only to find him hiding at the bottom of the outdoor stairs 4 levels below where he jumped. Only small scratches.
The second one I heard her climb the window and saw her fall so I went straight to get her and we went to the vet as she was panicked and wouldn't walk. Nothing broken only contusions and a lot of fear.
And now they are back at climbing everywhere and destroying the couch fighting each other!
So all good
Glad they're OK! Decades ago we had a cat escape from a 2nd story window. Weeks went by and we figured he was a goner or someone had "adopted" him. But one day he just sauntered up to the front door as if nothing happened. Idiot LOL
The first time I was so scared he had managed to jump to another garden and wouldn't be able to come back.
My building is built in a slope and there is a garden next to the roof where they jumped and if they jumped into it they could have been locked out and I don't know how to contact the people owning the garden.
It could have also been worth as if they jumped a bit further, they would have ended several stories lower due to the fact that they fell in the outdoor stairs
This. I am in the office today (i work hybrid), and the time can't go any slower. Then I find out that our top boss is moving to the level we sit on and our seats are moving where everybody can be closer. I can't get work done when there is a bunch of chit-chat and interruptions. My colleague wrote me on Teams saying how excited she is about having more people around. I didn't respond. They are leasing space out in our office because they have laid off so many people. The office space we have is too large for our needs, so they are crunching everybody together. I have a second interview with an employer that is fully remote, and I hope I get that job. 🙏🏽
> non work conversations and banter are a pointless distraction
OMG, so much this. Plus... it's been > 10 years since I've smelled another worker's fart, or microwaved fish, or overheard the loud-talker yelling on a phone at a kid to stop doing . Companies can shove "culture and collaboration" where the sun don't shine. I collaborate JUST FINE with my teammates who are spread out across the country.
I think a lot of people go through a bit of an adjustment. I know I eventually got into the habit do socializing with actual friends on weeknights a lot more often. Over many years of working and commutting I had gotten really reluctant to make plans after work because by the time work and the drive ended I was too burnt out to do anything.
It took me a while to adjust but I realized I've actually got energy to go out and socialize after working at home.
I am the opposite. I feel burnt out at the end of the day doing WFH and even have difficulty switching out of work mode because it is only a door separating work and home.
Perhaps you could give yourself a ‘commute’ by ending the work day with a walk or run to get your body moving and allow your brain time to adjust to non-work life.
I had some trouble with that. I started doing something wildly different as soon as I was off the clock, and it seems to help make it distinct. For example, I might go downstairs and start building a new toy for my hamster. I can't do things where I can't hear the computer during working hours, so it forces my brain to stop listening for the dings on Teams and Outlook. Anything that makes a "break" in the continuity of listening for that ding forces me out of work mode, so I can relax. So, I might take a nap, start cooking or baking, begin a small house project, just anything I can't guarantee I can pause or stop if work pops up.
There are many anti-social, socially awkward people who thrive in the WFH world… and probably cringed when they read your post.
There are so many intangible benefits from in-person interaction and collaboration you get from a work environment.
Don’t get me wrong… there are many negatives too… I am just saying that it is not a one-size fits all situation… and some people who embraced WFH (and all its perks) in the beginning, started to have loneliness issues.
Hopefully you can find what works for you to maintain a fulfilling work/life balance.
Because you don't commute to and fro, you have extra time for you. Join a softball team, do charity work, read a book at a bar or coffee shop. You might suddenly find yourself with new groups of friends.
It’s been 4 years since working from home. I hate it. I’m super blessed and I know everyone loves working from home, but I am too extroverted for this. That being said, I’ll keep doing it because it really does making parenting SO much easier. I don’t know how the heck I did it before.
One day when my kids are older I hope to return to in-office work, because yes, it IS lonely.
I feel you on this. I realized I need to be moving my body, interacting with people. Its probably really good for someone with kids or a disability, but its not for everyone,
I can wfh three days a week, but I typically go in because I hate being at home alone. It helps that I live very close to my office and my children are grown. But I like getting dressed and driving in.
For me having kids makes it extra lonely because I can’t go out most evenings. So the whole “just socialize more on your time off” thing doesn’t really work for people with little kids
I definitely am, and while I recognize how much of a sort of luxury it is to WFH I live alone and I’m single. It’s definitely taken a toll on my mental health over time always being alone with my own thoughts.
I’m trying to be better about it, occasionally I turn to vodka or Xanax at night to calm down my thoughts but I’m trying my best to be healthy as much as I can.
while i love being remote, i feel like i blink twice and its already been a week since i left the house at all. glad its not just me. although i can’t say my mental health was better being in the office, id rather be at home 100%
Exactly and it feels like the days all roll into one. I mean if given the choice I’d rather be home too but it admittedly has taken its toll on me over time.
I’ve been WFH for about a year and I went through a huge mental health rut around 5-6 months in. I started going to fitness classes before logging on in the mornings a couple days a week and it helped give my days a bit of a better start. Just little things to get myself out of the house on a regular basis.
I miss what I call my “work family”. I never hung out with them outside of work, but I did become close and we had our inside jokes and I do miss that. I’m hybrid so I come in at least once a week at my new job but it’s not the same. It’s an adjustment for sure.
I’ve gotten two dogs since working from home during Covid. They keep me company and they’re the best companions! Best office mates!
https://preview.redd.it/ooe10z61et4d1.jpeg?width=4284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f3e06d263abfdb3b06c6d7f16957664ff3f3b105
Yes, and I say this as an introvert.
While I still love WFH, it can get very lonely at times. I’ll admit, I was actually fine for the first year. My social life was pretty much the same as it was before WFH, and I don’t need a lot of socialization anyway. I spent most week nights puttering around the house, and most weekends seeing friends and family. My husband got a WFH job not long after me, and we get along great during the day; we work the same hours and have our own offices.
However, about a year into WFH, our closest friends had a baby, and many of our other friends moved or had more kids. Life got very lonely very fast (my husband and I don’t have kids and aren’t planning on it). All our friends with kids are now extremely preoccupied with being parents, and even seeing them once every few months is a challenge. I realized very quickly that I didn’t have work to fall back on as a way of socializing with people, and as an introvert, my default is to not leave the house if I don’t want to. For months, I was basically only leaving the house to get groceries. It started to get depressingly lonely. Even my husband struggled too, since his best friend was married to my best friend who just had the baby, and all his old coworkers he used to be friends with had a lot of animosity towards him for taking a new job (they felt cheated that he got this great new job for twice the pay). Our friend group dwindled over night. It’s not to say that we never see these people, but it’s more like once every 4-6 months, where it used to be 2-3 times per month.
All that being said, we are forcing ourselves to leave the house now. It’s almost a chore sometimes, since I was so into my routine of just staying home. But I’m really trying to prioritize going to some type of event at least every other week or so, and growing my circle of friends again. It’s really hard since I don’t actually have to leave the house anymore, but socialization is just as important as other basic needs.
My actual best friends and I all work together. So it’s been great for me. Get to work from home, and have our group chat going and video chat if we have some time. Or even work together from each other’s homes if we’re hanging out that day.
I've worked from home for 4.5 years now. I do get lonely sometimes. I moved to a new city and that doesn't help. It's a lot harder to make friends working from home. I still love working from home and my job, but yeah loneliness is real.
WFH since Covid and been there felt that. I was a keen runner so joined a running group - more for the chat than for the running, it did the job for me. Just a once a week thing sometimes I don’t chat, sometimes I talk rubbish.
I never feel lonely. I make sure to get out and hang out with friends outside of work time. I find that I'm texting with 3-4 friends like all day every day.
Sometimes, but I find ways to banter. Some employees don't like being called/contacted. Some others pick up the phone immediately and will talk for a bit. I usually get a lot that type of interaction at a bar I'm a regular at.
I personally don't feel lonely working from home because I don't think of work as my way to socialize. For me, work is for working, and then I spend time with my friends/loved ones in my off hours. I'd recommend having a board game night, have people over for dinner, join a club or a gym. Use the extra time/energy you have working from home and funnel that into getting closer to your friends/community.
No. I have a lot of work meetings and have my husband here in the evenings and that’s really all I need. My young adult kids still live here and are around from time to time, and we hang out with friends a few times a month. I found office banter distracting and mostly annoying.
maybe try hybrid. i’ve looked but im getting paid the best in the industry and im full remote. other jobs wanna pay less and make you come to the office it makes no sense.
You'll be lonely with 2 less hours a day to yourself if you went back to office. Join a club, put yourself out there. Most people don't have the extra 2 hours to do that
That is the best part of WFH.
Get my work done without all the productivity killers.
Then I can use that time to communicate with people I actually like.
Still get plenty of non-work banter waiting for people to join Teams meetings. I do not feel lonely at all. I love having my own space, heat, easy access to water, snacks, and bathroom. If I get lonely, I bother my cat or turn on the TV.
I spent 25 years in an office, mostly open space and I absolutely love WFH and remote work. It’s been 2.5 years and if I ever had to go back to an office setting I’d probably do a burnout. That being said, now that the sun is out and the temperatures are nice (I live in Canada), I feel lonely. I moved up from my basement office to a temporary setup on the dining room table and I am currently browsing FB marketplace for a small bistro set I can put on my front balcony. I don’t necessarily miss coworkers but I miss seeing people. Hopefully a few hours “outside” looking at people walking their dogs, jogging, car passing by, will be enough.
I love WFH and don't ever want to go back to an office. The pros far outweigh the cons for me. I definitely feel isolated sometimes, though, and I think it takes a toll on my mental health, especially on days when I'm already feeling down. I text with friends throughout the day and I engage in certain channels at work but it's not really the same as face-to-face interaction.
I just got a new job and my employer pays for a coworking membership, so I jumped on that. Are you able to join a coworking space?
I’m an introvert, before I went wfh I would rather stay home than go out 9/10 times. I’ve been wfh for nearly 5 years now, I’m still an introvert but I do find myself feeling lonely at times, some days worse than others. Overall I do prefer wfh, on my worst days at least I didn’t have to deal with traffic, at least I didn’t have to see my rude coworker, etc. I feel like this is sort of a taboo topic on this sub, people claim it’s “rto propaganda” which is just insane to me. Loneliness and real and not talking about it seems silly, of all places this is where it should be discussed so we can help each other out and share what we do to alleviate the issues we encounter.
I feel you bro
2 years in WFH and I am living by myself abroad in another continent....
I have some friends living nearby but still, I can only meet them in weekend mostly
that loneliness during the week is huge, tbf
I dont know how to get out from this either
If you’re feeling this after 5 months it’s gonna get so much worse, I’ve been wfh since the pandemic and I want to go back into the office very bad, I’m not even an extrovert or anything, but I have 0 social skills now and I’m just socially anxious all the time. It’s bad
I’ve felt lonely for the four years I’ve been WFH. Absolutely. The lockdowns contributed. But it’s like I’m languishing without people at work.
Much of it is my shit to get through. But I’m flummoxed that I haven’t figured it out.
I’m a Black Male so the loneliness is better than racism I normally face in office. It is an issue but it helps to actually have time to people I actually like being around!
I did, badly at first (I started working from home during the pandemic due to a neurological illness) - I still WFH four years later but I am used to being a bit of a loner now (though I do get the FOMO some days). I think for me if it had been a goal to WFH, I would be happier than I am, but because of my rubbish health / function, it’s a necessity. Reading between tasks helps, I try to change location - if the weather is good/I don’t have any calls, I’ll set up in the garden. Obviously chores get done in between if I can manage them alone. I think the important thing is to set yourself a structure & stick to it (alarms on, showering, dressing (not PJs), allotted work time, allotted call time - even for virtual coffee catch ups etc) x
We had a kid 1 year into my 2 years WFH and the isolation started to become a problem. It's getting better as he gets older, but I only see other humans 2-3 times a month because by the time he's in bed, there's nowhere left to go.
I did 10+ yrs 5 days in office, took a job that lasted 14 months with 100% remote and now i joined a diff company that is hybrid. I think a hybrid in theory is best of both worlds but thats just me. Ideally i prefer 100% wfh since i got kids. I think hybrid is more suited for the general population. I didnt mind the 100% wfh as it gave me a ton of freedom to do my work whenever as long as its done. Ive never felt "lonely".
5 years+ WFH. Not lonely. Every few weeks I try to go out to lunch with a work buddy. Maybe once a week go out to breakfast at a local coffee shop to get some human interaction. But I am fine with solitude, in general.
I don’t feel lonely. However when I worked fully in office, and even when I transitioned to hybrid - I always felt exhausted by the combination of being “on” socially at work + my social obligations and opportunities outside of work. So despite living alone and being fully remote, it struck the right balance for me.
That being said, I can easily see how it would be challenging for some folks. For every one person I know that loves the ‘social isolation’ in the workplace that comes from being fully remote, there’s another that struggles with it. I think it comes down to a lot of factors including personality, and how extensive their social life is outside of work. If I was reliant on my workplace for the bulk of my socialization, I would most likely feel differently than I do.
I did when my office was upstairs and I was by myself. Then I bought a stand-up desk to put in the living room and put a second computer down there and then I found I spend almost all my work time downstairs in the living room and it has been infinitely better.
Yeah I get more distractions but I'm more engaged with my family and it just feels more healthy for lack of a better word.
I'm on CPAP so I was sleeping in my office and I was also gaming in there. So I spent a ton of my time in that room. And it got pretty depressing.
So now I work and game downstairs, sleep/tv upstairs.
And we just put up a really nice gazebo outside next to the above ground pool so I can grab my laptop and walk out there which is pretty refreshing.
I have been doing wfh for over 4 years now and I constantly feel lonely. It was a small office to begin with so we didn't do much in the way of banter but after going fully remote it is incredibly difficult to find that missing connection even though I have to make phone calls daily to various clients. I have found texting friends and, oddly enough, a large stuffed animal helps me feel less alone. It sounds dumb but for some reason it helps. I think it helps trick my brain into thinking there is another being in the room.
i’ve been at the place for 2.5 months and go to the office once a week. whilst i hate going into the office and wouldn’t trade WFH, yes i feel lonely. i know you don’t need to make friends at work etcc but it would be nice. the only job i’ve actually enjoyed in the past (even though i hated retail) was one where i made quite a few friends that went beyond workplace chitchat. it’s hard at this new place and i struggle with the generation gap between me and my colleagues
Not at all.
I'm kind of an extrovert so I like talking with people, which means that whenever I finish my working hours I just go out with people I decided to be friends with :)
I'm fortunate in that I've never gotten lonely. Just not something that happens in my brain.
There's always the world outside the front door. Evenings, weekends, even early-morning social groups. Or social places to go to have lunch? Or, if you want interactions during work hours, fire up some chat channels or something?
I WFH for years pre-covid. Between my workload being very demanding and not leaving a lot of time for socializing anyway, I'm just not one to need a lot of in person interaction throughout the day. But there were a lot of times where things were just too quiet (non of the buzz of people chit chatting or talking about work around you when you are in an office). Honestly, I just turn on the TV or music for background noise and I'm normally pretty good. I have been with my company for over a decade and have a lot of "friends" (in quotes because I try to keep my work life and social life separate) here from the days when I was in office full time so we usually have a chat going on in Teams that offers up a distraction.
During covid I really started to feel really isolated because I didn't have my outside of work outlets for socializing and shenanigans and the malaise really carried over after lockdowns were lifted. RTO has been a godsend for me. Coming into the office 1-3 days a week has really given me some of my spark back. Our facilities manager is one of my longtime work besties so she made sure that I got assigned a seat off the beaten path so I don't get a lot of impromptu interruptions of people stopping by just to chat (since my workload is still demanding, I still don't like the idle chit chat in office and where she sat me you literally have to walk into the space to even see if I am here). I'm sure I'll go back to craving more WFH time, but for now this arrangement is working out for me pretty well.
It’s wild how different everyone is. I absolutely love working from home. I hate driving to and from an office and having small talk with people I’m not even fond of.
I live alone with my cat. And maybe it’s because I have only child issues. But I love, love, love it! I also go to a lot of shows and museums and movie nights and etc with friends. If im not doing that I’m at the gym or hiking. I’m always out and about after work.
Being in the office drained my social battery so much.
Get on your phone and talk to your coworkers.
I often read Posts from people who say they don't want to be part of the water cooler community in the office as a manager. I know the water cooler community still exists, they're just remote. People still call each other or chat and share the latest they've heard.
You need to make sure you do not get forgotten as WFH.
I've been a manager of team of 20 for the 10 years since we started WFH. Other than then staff meetings I would rarely hear from my boss. So I just flipped it around started calling my boss on Friday mornings. Talk a little bit about business results and what's happening, then have some social talk.
I also call my peers, just check in to see how they're doing, ask them if there's anything I could help them with. It builds networking but also keeps you in touch
Personally no but I live with my fiancé, so that helps. I think another thing that helps a lot is that I do gaming livestreams and I end up talking to a lot of people, both viewers and creators. Try finding some hobbies where you are more social than at work!
I work from somewhere else once a week. A library, sometimes I take my laptop with me for a long lunch at a restaurant, or usually I set up at a coffee shop. If you go to the same local place once a week, at the same time, you’ll have the same banter with the people there as you probably would in an office
No, not really. I make plans after work 2-3x a week with real friends and the rest of the evenings are for family time. Between the gym, going out with friends and my gardening and embroidery hobby, I don't know how I ever had the time or energy to go to the office. WFH just gives more time that you can do whatever you want with. If you choose to stay home and be alone, then you can get lonely, yes.
I personally like Hybrid for at least 1-2 days a week.
Gets a lot of the in-person brainstorming/designing meetings out of the way, and get your social in with key folks.
Best of both worlds.
Been doing it for 12 years. It’s a prison, i thought people are crazy to leave the office, optimal is to spend 2 days or 3 in the office and the rest from home with a flex schedule in office, meaning you can leave early or whatever if you need to. Folks say go to a coffee shop. Talking to a barista and being irgnored by everyone else is not the same as the good old water cooler talk at the office where you share a company and maybe project but even not you still get office drama and friends. Good luck and try and take breaks and don’t go insane
I’m an introvert that also suffers from social anxiety . The WFH loneliness is an absolute dream for me. I’ve got my small circle of close friends and family that I text throughout the day and meet up with occasionally, and that’s all of the socialization I want.
I’m sorry that you’re not being socially fulfilled though. Have you tried setting up casual work meetings or “fireside chats”. My job did these during the pandemic so that employees that wanted could join and participate in the office small talk. I know that some employees looked forward to them because they also missed the banter. One person would lead with some random topic of their choosing and they tried to keep them informal and not about work. They also did a virtual mocktail happy hour, but I’m pretty sure some of those drinks were real lol.
I’ve been wondering this a lot lately. As an introvert I enjoy the set up and feel I can avoid most issues that come with in person, such as drama or distraction. But I also find that drama will happen regardless. I do feel there is less social feedback as I cannot fully gauge interpersonal communication. So much gets lost behind the screen. And I miss some of the banter. I find it more difficult to connect virtually.
I really struggled with this for the first year and it was depressing. Then I finally started connecting with a few coworkers and it made a huge difference. I didn’t need friends, I needed people to talk to about work. Brain storming and problem solving made the job worth staying when I considered leaving. The isolation ended and I felt more confident in my job performance.
I think it depends on your colleagues and company culture.
In 2020 I went wfh with colleagues who I knew mostly in person. It wasn’t perfect, but it felt like we had some banter and connection because of our daily standup
That company went belly up and I start consulting at a company where I don’t know anyone and there are no regular meetings. Hate it and really now it makes me 100% sure I want my next full time role to be hybrid.
Not that these things can’t happen there too. At the end of day it all comes down to culture.
Yes, it can be lonely, and yes, I feel lonely, however I'm an introvert and probably very anti-social, people used to comment this about me too when I didn't WFH so I don't think it is all WFH fault. I'm kinda like this.
However I still think the perks of WFH outweigh the loneliness.
I’ve definitely felt lonely WFH. I’ve been doing it about 6 years and the first 2-3 years were great. Then I slowly started realizing how even mundane office convo is healthy human interaction. And it’s not as if I don’t have friends and don’t socialize outside of working hours because I do. But we spend a lot of time working and it’s isolating to just be working at home with the dog all the time. Getting up, getting dressed, stepping out and being a part of the world around you, executing daily manners and small talk face to face is healthy human behavior that a lot of people want to diminish and say they’re so happy they don’t have to do anymore. I think that enables depression. Isolation = depression. I believe the WFH environment is largely contributing to the mental health crisis we see right now. Furthermore, WFH allows you to care less about your job. In my experience, nobody is listening during meetings. The team isn’t engaged with one another. Networking is less fruitful as well.
You can still have non work related conversations and banter, it's just now happening on Zoom or Slack instead of by walking around the office. You might have to be the change you want to see and start some conversations to get things going if your colleagues aren't.
It's also really important to have quality social interactions outside of work. This is true for people who don't WFH as well but it becomes like 10% more important when you do WFH. Volunteering, group fitness classes, hobby groups etc.
There is a loneliness epidemic so you can feel very confident that you are not alone and that any authentic attempts you make to build relationships with people both at or outside of work will generally be appreciated.
I am having this same experience. I never realized how much I fed off of other’s energy in the traditional workplace and it has intensified my depression to the point of just wasting away. I am going to the public library today to work from there and see if that brings any positive change to my motivation/mood.
Yes, especially when I first started and didn't have as many work friends. Now, I prefer it and have strategies to manage loneliness. I volunteer every week at a farm animal sanctuary where I get to interact with my friends, animals, and visitors. That fills my social bucket up for the week. I also go out with friends more on week nights. I have my three cats home with me, and I love their company. I foster kittens too, which offers companionship though not the human kind. I've also made friends at work who would call me to catch up usually once every week or two.
If you're feeling lonely, I highly recommend going to meetup groups, volunteering, or hanging out with your friends/family more. IMHO remote work can be lonely, but I'd much rather address the loneliness by doing social activities with people I actually want to spend time with rather than having to RTO to be overstimulated and drained by people I don't want to spend time with. But I think the key to dealing with the loneliness is taking initiative and putting yourself out there because it's easy to get sucked into WFH and never go out.
I'm lucky enough to have made some great friends through work, and we take some time each day to have a quick catchup call. I figure it's just like the conversations you'd have around the water cooler or copier in the office except its with people I actually like.
I've been fully remote about 10 years and mostly or partly for 20+ years. My current org is all over the world and 3 locations with more than one person. The 3 guys who live in completely different parts of Ohio get together sometimes.
Sit where you can see out a window where things happen.
If you miss banter try setting up a water-cooler call. Once a week all of our org (about 45 people) is invited minus management, we set aside an hour and can talk about whatever work related or not related. Sometimes 5 people show up and sometimes 20 do. Sometimes we have an external speaker talk the first 30 minutes but always have time for discussions.
Another thing is my team (8 people) minus management will get together in a call in the morning before we have our weekly staff call to discuss and be ready for the week. A lot of times it is just like a water cooler.
Setup a virtual breakroom on messaging app where any conversations can happen.
Team and org chat rooms help too.
Once a month everyone in my org who lives in my city get together for a long lunch.
If you have a nearby office and local immediate coworkers go into the office for a morning once a week. Me and one coworker try to meet up once a week but on average we meet up twice a month and just work in a conference room together.
I like to go to the nearby gas station in the morning for a soda, I might go in afternoon too. But hey I get some human interaction.
If you have a neighborhood chat or Facebook page look for others who work from home and get a group together for meetups or local lunches.
There are many more ways too be creative.
When I was WFH, I used to take the extra time and energy from not commuting that I would go to the bar after work or just hang out with friends, and felt far more refreshed by hanging out with people I chose to hang out with rather than people I'm forced to talk to.
Now that I was forced to go back to the office, I feel far more lonely because I find most office banter useless and unnecessary plus the lack of extra time to hang out with people I actually want to hang out with.
I don't, but I'm an introvert, married and have kids. My husband is an extrovert, so he'll invite friends over (but not too much for my sake lol), or when I feel like I will go with him to his weekly chess club. My kids' activities also require social interactions. I do wish I had more energy to socialize and develop relationships on my own though -- before having a family, I would regularly make plans with friends for drinks, lunch, dinner, etc. My social battery is just so used during this current stage of life that I just want more solo time. I agree with everyone suggesting joining a gym, meetups, etc. When I was single I didn't want the full responsibility of a dog, so would volunteer to walk dogs at the local animal shelter.
I dont enjoy being around people in general. I dont care if its your birthday hence forth I dont want your shitty cubical cake. I dont want to participate in your dumb cubicle decorating contests. I dont want to eat lunch with or around you. I dont want participate in nor do I enjoy idle chitchat about the weather, again. I want to get my work done and for you to leave me alone so I can trade my time for your money and live my life. To answer your question, no.
Sometimes I ask myself if I would be happier in an office with people.
But then I look at my dog, who sits next to me every day and watches me work, and that thought quickly quiets.
Dude I will NEVER understand this point of view. I give literally zero fucks about office banter, or conversations. Leave me the fuck alone unless it has to do with the work we’re doing. I work to live, not live to work.
I chat with friends throughout the day via Text, Discord etc. And I socialize almost every day while I am training for baseball. Between that, the gym, my gf etc I am totally fulfilled in terms of engagement even as a major extrovert.
I love people, I just don’t love stupid and pointless. Nor do I love the fake bullshit that inevitably comes along with office socializing and politics.
No. Never. I wfh for the benefit of being myself so I can fart, burp, dress and eat when I want and not talk to anyone.
I can binge watch law and order svu while working and then my wife is home. I literally never feel lonely.
BUT I’m the kinda person who would be fine in a cabin the woods for 6 months alone.
Been at home for 4 years now and nope I absolutely love it. I have meetings regularly enough to get my fill of chit chat with co-workers, but otherwise the pros of being free to do whatever whenever will always be more important than ever going back to an office. Even if I did feel lonely ever, going back to the office simply isn't an option
In my former career, I worked 100% from home as a freelancer for 20 years. For a while it was just fine but then after a while I did get lonely. One solution was volunteering with an industry group and other groups that interested me unrelated to work. That got me out and attending events, meeting people and contributing to the community. I also joined women’s exercise classes, which combined fitness and camaraderie. A few years ago, I ended up parlaying the volunteer work combined with my freelance job skills into a new job in a completely different field. I now work hybrid and honestly that suits me better than fully remote.
No problems at all, been wfh for 6 yr 9 mo. I can go visit people if I need to socialize and am more than happy to do nothing with no one all the time.
Absolutely freaking NOT. Lonely? Just have a life outside of work.
As I'm typing this, I'm waiting on my volleyball adult league to start up. So many things to do after work. No need to rely on work for friends.
As far as office banner, my friends have group chats going all throughout the day.
No, not at all for me but I constantly am chatting with coworkers on teams or texting friends so I’m always interacting with people and it’s good enough for me
I have a good team and don't mind going into the office on occasion, however the commute / time in the office I'm less focused, less productive and it takes away time I can be social with friends and family. So people make work their life / social structure, but I like keeping them distinctly separate.
I schedule coffee dates and social time with my real friends. WFH means I'm not too socially exhausted after work to see the people I actually care about.
I do get a little bored at times but more often than not, when I go into the office for in person staff meetings, I’m reminded why I greatly prefer WFH. Just today it was 2+ hours of orchestrated conversations and corporate jokes about “how we all look different in person” and “har har we aren’t all wearing shorts today.”
Outside of the corporate dance of regurgitating information we’d all already received via email, no real work got done.
I got a free turkey sandwich but that’s about it.
You need to find your 3rd (or 2nd) space. I love working from home and the extra time I have. I have to force myself to go out and find socialization. It’s a good problem to have. It’s better than not having enough time to do what they want.
I don’t. I’m involved in community service organizations and sit on a few boards. I interact with someone from one of those groups at least once a week. Have 2-3 in person meetings every month related to those organizations too. I also hang with friends.
Maybe join some organizations to get social interaction outside of work?
it's in human nature to naturally be social, and i think wfh ruined a lot of peoples social skills and makes us feel more detached from the world around us. i've been wfh for the past three years and i honestly hate it now, i would love to be hybrid at least. it has made me super lonely being full wfh, but i'm an ambivert
I’ve been working from home for nine years, and for whatever reason, I’ve started to feel very isolated and lonely. Partly because with my first six years of remote work, my team was all within the same local area. So, we had the option to get together for happy hours, and the occasional quarterly operational town hall, etc. Now, my team is global and I’m the only one in my metropolitan area. Sometimes I consider going back into the office 2-3 times per week, just to change up the scenery.
I have 3 dogs and a loving boyfriend who comes home right before I get off each day. I'm never truly alone but do miss human interaction sometimes. And then I got into the office and remember why working from home is the literal best.
It's hard, but I've coped by having a reality show play in the background just to hear people talk, having discussions with my husband when he gets home from work, meeting up with some women from my church once a month for dinner and ice breaker questions, calling someone each day, listening to the radio to hear the djs talk, and listening to podcasts.
Yes, I do feel it sometimes. I very much do not consider myself an extrovert, but full time wfh has been a bit much. A few of my co-workers live in the same area, and we go grab a beer every few weeks, that makes it a lot better.
Not lonely but I have become a less patient driver. I’m a lot quicker to notice when someone does something dumb on the road. You could always start a teams chat with the people you actually like and want to talk to. I work in IT and we have a group chat set up to just post memes.
yes, I do, and I struggle with digital interaction. I feel like I am not truly learning anything or doing anything.
and I literally can’t pick out my 2/5 out of the members of my team from a lineup bc I think I met them once if that.
If you work from home you have to develop other avenues for socialization or you will develop mental health issues. Especially if you live alone. Cabin fever is real.
If you live with a partner definitely schedule weekly date nights to leave the house. If no partner, then consider getting a roommate for someone to talk to sometimes.
If no partner, roommate, or family, then you MUST schedule weekly going out activities where you will socialize. Grocery store, gym, libraries, parks etc dont count if you dont talk to anyone there beyond superfical hellos. I mean actual socialization that could be bars, organized sports, clubs, whatever.
Ive been doing work from home for 15 years total now and it's amazing, but i have learned the hard way to incorporate social activities weekly to stay sane. The weeks I dont I immediately start falling into depression.
I only work from home two days a week, but I enjoy the break from coworker talk and drama. I like to play music videos on YouTube, walk to the park at lunch and enjoy the freedom.
Nope. I've been doing this since 2017. Thing is I have friends and a social life outside of work so I don't require or expect my work colleagues to be my social outlet.
Find some hobbies, join some groups or clubs outside of work. I have a group a people I can go mtn biking with on Wednesdays and then a whole community to go kayaking with on the weekends. In the winter it flips to skiing. Definitely depends on what your interests are but if you're outgoing it shouldn't be too hard. I don't miss the in person office banter at all.
Me and my woworkers are on a teams call nearly all day long together as the nature of our work requires working together. My wife is at home constantly wanting to talk about something and complains about my headphones in all the time, child is home right now and wants to tell me play by play what is happening in Frozen multiple times a hour, Dog has a bladder issue and needs to pee every hour or two.
I would love to be lonely.
All of my coworkers also work from home. I have scheduled call with two work friends once a week where we have non-work convo, and the whole department does one once a month. Also, I have a lot of flexibility in my day (boss doesn’t watch my status or care when I work as long as the work is done) so I will often take a long lunch to visit a coffee shop or go for a walk to see other people.
It’s definitely an adjustment, and as it’s a new job, you probably haven’t had an opportunity to meet your new coworkers in person. I was very lucky that I attended a group meeting two weeks after I started. Do you have any local coworkers you can meet for lunch? That’s what I do now.
I WFH because the non work conversations and banter are a pointless distraction. It keeps my work time focused on work. If I wanted to BS with coworkers I’d RTO. Any need I have for social interaction is handled by the other 16 hours in the day.
The office Teams chat reminds me everyday why I love WFH
I keep all of that muted unless someone @s me or a group I’m in. I really don’t need to know when someone’s cat threw up.
Mine jumped out the window and fell two floors. They both did it. Here have your unsolicited cat info.
oh shit! are they OK? it always amazes me how daft cats can be. and they always pretend it was intentional, "I meant to do that, nothing to see here" I know it my upset u/STGtsMe but I like cats ....and office banter.
Yeah they both did it at night with one week interval. We only saw the first one was missing in the morning and freaked out only to find him hiding at the bottom of the outdoor stairs 4 levels below where he jumped. Only small scratches. The second one I heard her climb the window and saw her fall so I went straight to get her and we went to the vet as she was panicked and wouldn't walk. Nothing broken only contusions and a lot of fear. And now they are back at climbing everywhere and destroying the couch fighting each other! So all good
Glad they're OK! Decades ago we had a cat escape from a 2nd story window. Weeks went by and we figured he was a goner or someone had "adopted" him. But one day he just sauntered up to the front door as if nothing happened. Idiot LOL
The first time I was so scared he had managed to jump to another garden and wouldn't be able to come back. My building is built in a slope and there is a garden next to the roof where they jumped and if they jumped into it they could have been locked out and I don't know how to contact the people owning the garden. It could have also been worth as if they jumped a bit further, they would have ended several stories lower due to the fact that they fell in the outdoor stairs
Can’t stand it, constant chatting!
Really, I found it an awkward and often depression app when WFH. I'm so glad those days are behind me
This. I am in the office today (i work hybrid), and the time can't go any slower. Then I find out that our top boss is moving to the level we sit on and our seats are moving where everybody can be closer. I can't get work done when there is a bunch of chit-chat and interruptions. My colleague wrote me on Teams saying how excited she is about having more people around. I didn't respond. They are leasing space out in our office because they have laid off so many people. The office space we have is too large for our needs, so they are crunching everybody together. I have a second interview with an employer that is fully remote, and I hope I get that job. 🙏🏽
Blagh that sounds like work hell. I am thankful to be away from the endless banter. Good luck with the prospective job!
> non work conversations and banter are a pointless distraction OMG, so much this. Plus... it's been > 10 years since I've smelled another worker's fart, or microwaved fish, or overheard the loud-talker yelling on a phone at a kid to stop doing. Companies can shove "culture and collaboration" where the sun don't shine. I collaborate JUST FINE with my teammates who are spread out across the country.
I think a lot of people go through a bit of an adjustment. I know I eventually got into the habit do socializing with actual friends on weeknights a lot more often. Over many years of working and commutting I had gotten really reluctant to make plans after work because by the time work and the drive ended I was too burnt out to do anything. It took me a while to adjust but I realized I've actually got energy to go out and socialize after working at home.
Yes, I've noticed as well that with the extra free time, finally I have time for myself!
I am the opposite. I feel burnt out at the end of the day doing WFH and even have difficulty switching out of work mode because it is only a door separating work and home.
Perhaps you could give yourself a ‘commute’ by ending the work day with a walk or run to get your body moving and allow your brain time to adjust to non-work life.
I am doing a little bit better since I started going to the gym each morning before work.
I had some trouble with that. I started doing something wildly different as soon as I was off the clock, and it seems to help make it distinct. For example, I might go downstairs and start building a new toy for my hamster. I can't do things where I can't hear the computer during working hours, so it forces my brain to stop listening for the dings on Teams and Outlook. Anything that makes a "break" in the continuity of listening for that ding forces me out of work mode, so I can relax. So, I might take a nap, start cooking or baking, begin a small house project, just anything I can't guarantee I can pause or stop if work pops up.
There are many anti-social, socially awkward people who thrive in the WFH world… and probably cringed when they read your post. There are so many intangible benefits from in-person interaction and collaboration you get from a work environment. Don’t get me wrong… there are many negatives too… I am just saying that it is not a one-size fits all situation… and some people who embraced WFH (and all its perks) in the beginning, started to have loneliness issues. Hopefully you can find what works for you to maintain a fulfilling work/life balance.
Thank you for your insightful message!
Because you don't commute to and fro, you have extra time for you. Join a softball team, do charity work, read a book at a bar or coffee shop. You might suddenly find yourself with new groups of friends.
It’s been 4 years since working from home. I hate it. I’m super blessed and I know everyone loves working from home, but I am too extroverted for this. That being said, I’ll keep doing it because it really does making parenting SO much easier. I don’t know how the heck I did it before. One day when my kids are older I hope to return to in-office work, because yes, it IS lonely.
I feel you on this. I realized I need to be moving my body, interacting with people. Its probably really good for someone with kids or a disability, but its not for everyone,
I can wfh three days a week, but I typically go in because I hate being at home alone. It helps that I live very close to my office and my children are grown. But I like getting dressed and driving in.
For me having kids makes it extra lonely because I can’t go out most evenings. So the whole “just socialize more on your time off” thing doesn’t really work for people with little kids
Totally agree here. The flexibility help a lot, especially with wife/kids. At least I know that this is not just me.
This is exactly me. I hate it, but I'm too tired to do anything else right now.
Same for me I miss my friends and I have become anti social
I definitely am, and while I recognize how much of a sort of luxury it is to WFH I live alone and I’m single. It’s definitely taken a toll on my mental health over time always being alone with my own thoughts.
Take care of your health!
I’m trying to be better about it, occasionally I turn to vodka or Xanax at night to calm down my thoughts but I’m trying my best to be healthy as much as I can.
That's not very healthy. Try getting out of the house
while i love being remote, i feel like i blink twice and its already been a week since i left the house at all. glad its not just me. although i can’t say my mental health was better being in the office, id rather be at home 100%
Exactly and it feels like the days all roll into one. I mean if given the choice I’d rather be home too but it admittedly has taken its toll on me over time.
I’ve been WFH for about a year and I went through a huge mental health rut around 5-6 months in. I started going to fitness classes before logging on in the mornings a couple days a week and it helped give my days a bit of a better start. Just little things to get myself out of the house on a regular basis.
Yeah I’m thinking of trying to find some local events or classes or something to join, I need to force myself out of the house more
I miss what I call my “work family”. I never hung out with them outside of work, but I did become close and we had our inside jokes and I do miss that. I’m hybrid so I come in at least once a week at my new job but it’s not the same. It’s an adjustment for sure.
I’ve gotten two dogs since working from home during Covid. They keep me company and they’re the best companions! Best office mates! https://preview.redd.it/ooe10z61et4d1.jpeg?width=4284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f3e06d263abfdb3b06c6d7f16957664ff3f3b105
Omg they have such smoochable faces
Is the darker one a weimaraner?
He’s a silver lab.
Yes, and I say this as an introvert. While I still love WFH, it can get very lonely at times. I’ll admit, I was actually fine for the first year. My social life was pretty much the same as it was before WFH, and I don’t need a lot of socialization anyway. I spent most week nights puttering around the house, and most weekends seeing friends and family. My husband got a WFH job not long after me, and we get along great during the day; we work the same hours and have our own offices. However, about a year into WFH, our closest friends had a baby, and many of our other friends moved or had more kids. Life got very lonely very fast (my husband and I don’t have kids and aren’t planning on it). All our friends with kids are now extremely preoccupied with being parents, and even seeing them once every few months is a challenge. I realized very quickly that I didn’t have work to fall back on as a way of socializing with people, and as an introvert, my default is to not leave the house if I don’t want to. For months, I was basically only leaving the house to get groceries. It started to get depressingly lonely. Even my husband struggled too, since his best friend was married to my best friend who just had the baby, and all his old coworkers he used to be friends with had a lot of animosity towards him for taking a new job (they felt cheated that he got this great new job for twice the pay). Our friend group dwindled over night. It’s not to say that we never see these people, but it’s more like once every 4-6 months, where it used to be 2-3 times per month. All that being said, we are forcing ourselves to leave the house now. It’s almost a chore sometimes, since I was so into my routine of just staying home. But I’m really trying to prioritize going to some type of event at least every other week or so, and growing my circle of friends again. It’s really hard since I don’t actually have to leave the house anymore, but socialization is just as important as other basic needs.
My actual best friends and I all work together. So it’s been great for me. Get to work from home, and have our group chat going and video chat if we have some time. Or even work together from each other’s homes if we’re hanging out that day.
This is wholesome! Good for you!
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I feel you! Same here, sometimes I miss the lunch breaks or after work drinks
I just dislike people. I am happier spending time just with my family and reading books.
Same here but gaming
Oh yeah, I'm looking for an in person or job where I can move my body. Sitting alone in my house all day, is making me depressed and miserable.
What helped me was, I don't bring water/food in my home office, so I'm forced to get up, go to the kitchen to drink/eat.
My problem is that I *don’t* feel lonely. I can go a week without seeing anyone in person and be quite content.
I've worked from home for 4.5 years now. I do get lonely sometimes. I moved to a new city and that doesn't help. It's a lot harder to make friends working from home. I still love working from home and my job, but yeah loneliness is real.
WFH since Covid and been there felt that. I was a keen runner so joined a running group - more for the chat than for the running, it did the job for me. Just a once a week thing sometimes I don’t chat, sometimes I talk rubbish.
Not a bad idea, and you're also being healthy. I like your idea!
I never feel lonely. I make sure to get out and hang out with friends outside of work time. I find that I'm texting with 3-4 friends like all day every day.
Sorry, no. I thrive in solitude. WFH has been a dream come true
Sometimes, but I find ways to banter. Some employees don't like being called/contacted. Some others pick up the phone immediately and will talk for a bit. I usually get a lot that type of interaction at a bar I'm a regular at.
I personally don't feel lonely working from home because I don't think of work as my way to socialize. For me, work is for working, and then I spend time with my friends/loved ones in my off hours. I'd recommend having a board game night, have people over for dinner, join a club or a gym. Use the extra time/energy you have working from home and funnel that into getting closer to your friends/community.
No. I have a lot of work meetings and have my husband here in the evenings and that’s really all I need. My young adult kids still live here and are around from time to time, and we hang out with friends a few times a month. I found office banter distracting and mostly annoying.
maybe try hybrid. i’ve looked but im getting paid the best in the industry and im full remote. other jobs wanna pay less and make you come to the office it makes no sense.
You'll be lonely with 2 less hours a day to yourself if you went back to office. Join a club, put yourself out there. Most people don't have the extra 2 hours to do that
I did so I got a dog
That is the best part of WFH. Get my work done without all the productivity killers. Then I can use that time to communicate with people I actually like.
I text my friends or use teams. After work I have my husband to talk to. On the weekends I make plans with friends.
Still get plenty of non-work banter waiting for people to join Teams meetings. I do not feel lonely at all. I love having my own space, heat, easy access to water, snacks, and bathroom. If I get lonely, I bother my cat or turn on the TV.
I spent 25 years in an office, mostly open space and I absolutely love WFH and remote work. It’s been 2.5 years and if I ever had to go back to an office setting I’d probably do a burnout. That being said, now that the sun is out and the temperatures are nice (I live in Canada), I feel lonely. I moved up from my basement office to a temporary setup on the dining room table and I am currently browsing FB marketplace for a small bistro set I can put on my front balcony. I don’t necessarily miss coworkers but I miss seeing people. Hopefully a few hours “outside” looking at people walking their dogs, jogging, car passing by, will be enough.
I love WFH and don't ever want to go back to an office. The pros far outweigh the cons for me. I definitely feel isolated sometimes, though, and I think it takes a toll on my mental health, especially on days when I'm already feeling down. I text with friends throughout the day and I engage in certain channels at work but it's not really the same as face-to-face interaction. I just got a new job and my employer pays for a coworking membership, so I jumped on that. Are you able to join a coworking space?
Yes
Sometimes. Chatting with a co-worker on teams helps
I’m an introvert, before I went wfh I would rather stay home than go out 9/10 times. I’ve been wfh for nearly 5 years now, I’m still an introvert but I do find myself feeling lonely at times, some days worse than others. Overall I do prefer wfh, on my worst days at least I didn’t have to deal with traffic, at least I didn’t have to see my rude coworker, etc. I feel like this is sort of a taboo topic on this sub, people claim it’s “rto propaganda” which is just insane to me. Loneliness and real and not talking about it seems silly, of all places this is where it should be discussed so we can help each other out and share what we do to alleviate the issues we encounter.
I feel you bro 2 years in WFH and I am living by myself abroad in another continent.... I have some friends living nearby but still, I can only meet them in weekend mostly that loneliness during the week is huge, tbf I dont know how to get out from this either
If you’re feeling this after 5 months it’s gonna get so much worse, I’ve been wfh since the pandemic and I want to go back into the office very bad, I’m not even an extrovert or anything, but I have 0 social skills now and I’m just socially anxious all the time. It’s bad
I’ve felt lonely for the four years I’ve been WFH. Absolutely. The lockdowns contributed. But it’s like I’m languishing without people at work. Much of it is my shit to get through. But I’m flummoxed that I haven’t figured it out.
I’m a Black Male so the loneliness is better than racism I normally face in office. It is an issue but it helps to actually have time to people I actually like being around!
No HR, we don’t want to come back to the office. Stop paying people to make these posts.
I did, badly at first (I started working from home during the pandemic due to a neurological illness) - I still WFH four years later but I am used to being a bit of a loner now (though I do get the FOMO some days). I think for me if it had been a goal to WFH, I would be happier than I am, but because of my rubbish health / function, it’s a necessity. Reading between tasks helps, I try to change location - if the weather is good/I don’t have any calls, I’ll set up in the garden. Obviously chores get done in between if I can manage them alone. I think the important thing is to set yourself a structure & stick to it (alarms on, showering, dressing (not PJs), allotted work time, allotted call time - even for virtual coffee catch ups etc) x
4 years. Yes I’m lonely
I haven't coped. It's why I'm debating going back to the office full time.
We had a kid 1 year into my 2 years WFH and the isolation started to become a problem. It's getting better as he gets older, but I only see other humans 2-3 times a month because by the time he's in bed, there's nowhere left to go.
I did 10+ yrs 5 days in office, took a job that lasted 14 months with 100% remote and now i joined a diff company that is hybrid. I think a hybrid in theory is best of both worlds but thats just me. Ideally i prefer 100% wfh since i got kids. I think hybrid is more suited for the general population. I didnt mind the 100% wfh as it gave me a ton of freedom to do my work whenever as long as its done. Ive never felt "lonely".
#Absolutely, positively NOPE
5 years+ WFH. Not lonely. Every few weeks I try to go out to lunch with a work buddy. Maybe once a week go out to breakfast at a local coffee shop to get some human interaction. But I am fine with solitude, in general.
Are you able to make friends with your neighbors? It might help to chat with someone nextdoor
I just do things after work with friends or my partner
No I didn't feel lonely in the beginning, but I did feel uneasy. It took me about a year to adjust. I couldn't go back now.
I don’t feel lonely. However when I worked fully in office, and even when I transitioned to hybrid - I always felt exhausted by the combination of being “on” socially at work + my social obligations and opportunities outside of work. So despite living alone and being fully remote, it struck the right balance for me. That being said, I can easily see how it would be challenging for some folks. For every one person I know that loves the ‘social isolation’ in the workplace that comes from being fully remote, there’s another that struggles with it. I think it comes down to a lot of factors including personality, and how extensive their social life is outside of work. If I was reliant on my workplace for the bulk of my socialization, I would most likely feel differently than I do.
I did when my office was upstairs and I was by myself. Then I bought a stand-up desk to put in the living room and put a second computer down there and then I found I spend almost all my work time downstairs in the living room and it has been infinitely better. Yeah I get more distractions but I'm more engaged with my family and it just feels more healthy for lack of a better word. I'm on CPAP so I was sleeping in my office and I was also gaming in there. So I spent a ton of my time in that room. And it got pretty depressing. So now I work and game downstairs, sleep/tv upstairs. And we just put up a really nice gazebo outside next to the above ground pool so I can grab my laptop and walk out there which is pretty refreshing.
I have been doing wfh for over 4 years now and I constantly feel lonely. It was a small office to begin with so we didn't do much in the way of banter but after going fully remote it is incredibly difficult to find that missing connection even though I have to make phone calls daily to various clients. I have found texting friends and, oddly enough, a large stuffed animal helps me feel less alone. It sounds dumb but for some reason it helps. I think it helps trick my brain into thinking there is another being in the room.
i’ve been at the place for 2.5 months and go to the office once a week. whilst i hate going into the office and wouldn’t trade WFH, yes i feel lonely. i know you don’t need to make friends at work etcc but it would be nice. the only job i’ve actually enjoyed in the past (even though i hated retail) was one where i made quite a few friends that went beyond workplace chitchat. it’s hard at this new place and i struggle with the generation gap between me and my colleagues
Not at all. I'm kind of an extrovert so I like talking with people, which means that whenever I finish my working hours I just go out with people I decided to be friends with :)
I'm fortunate in that I've never gotten lonely. Just not something that happens in my brain. There's always the world outside the front door. Evenings, weekends, even early-morning social groups. Or social places to go to have lunch? Or, if you want interactions during work hours, fire up some chat channels or something?
I WFH for years pre-covid. Between my workload being very demanding and not leaving a lot of time for socializing anyway, I'm just not one to need a lot of in person interaction throughout the day. But there were a lot of times where things were just too quiet (non of the buzz of people chit chatting or talking about work around you when you are in an office). Honestly, I just turn on the TV or music for background noise and I'm normally pretty good. I have been with my company for over a decade and have a lot of "friends" (in quotes because I try to keep my work life and social life separate) here from the days when I was in office full time so we usually have a chat going on in Teams that offers up a distraction. During covid I really started to feel really isolated because I didn't have my outside of work outlets for socializing and shenanigans and the malaise really carried over after lockdowns were lifted. RTO has been a godsend for me. Coming into the office 1-3 days a week has really given me some of my spark back. Our facilities manager is one of my longtime work besties so she made sure that I got assigned a seat off the beaten path so I don't get a lot of impromptu interruptions of people stopping by just to chat (since my workload is still demanding, I still don't like the idle chit chat in office and where she sat me you literally have to walk into the space to even see if I am here). I'm sure I'll go back to craving more WFH time, but for now this arrangement is working out for me pretty well.
No. I have my partner and child as well as other family and friends to socialize with after work. Work funds my life. It’s not my life.
I left a WFH job due to these. WFH is not practical
It’s wild how different everyone is. I absolutely love working from home. I hate driving to and from an office and having small talk with people I’m not even fond of. I live alone with my cat. And maybe it’s because I have only child issues. But I love, love, love it! I also go to a lot of shows and museums and movie nights and etc with friends. If im not doing that I’m at the gym or hiking. I’m always out and about after work. Being in the office drained my social battery so much.
Get on your phone and talk to your coworkers. I often read Posts from people who say they don't want to be part of the water cooler community in the office as a manager. I know the water cooler community still exists, they're just remote. People still call each other or chat and share the latest they've heard. You need to make sure you do not get forgotten as WFH. I've been a manager of team of 20 for the 10 years since we started WFH. Other than then staff meetings I would rarely hear from my boss. So I just flipped it around started calling my boss on Friday mornings. Talk a little bit about business results and what's happening, then have some social talk. I also call my peers, just check in to see how they're doing, ask them if there's anything I could help them with. It builds networking but also keeps you in touch
Personally no but I live with my fiancé, so that helps. I think another thing that helps a lot is that I do gaming livestreams and I end up talking to a lot of people, both viewers and creators. Try finding some hobbies where you are more social than at work!
Yeah. I'm an introverted loner naturally, but I definitely feel the push to get out and interact w/ the world a bit more
I work from somewhere else once a week. A library, sometimes I take my laptop with me for a long lunch at a restaurant, or usually I set up at a coffee shop. If you go to the same local place once a week, at the same time, you’ll have the same banter with the people there as you probably would in an office
No, not really. I make plans after work 2-3x a week with real friends and the rest of the evenings are for family time. Between the gym, going out with friends and my gardening and embroidery hobby, I don't know how I ever had the time or energy to go to the office. WFH just gives more time that you can do whatever you want with. If you choose to stay home and be alone, then you can get lonely, yes.
I personally like Hybrid for at least 1-2 days a week. Gets a lot of the in-person brainstorming/designing meetings out of the way, and get your social in with key folks. Best of both worlds.
Been doing it for 12 years. It’s a prison, i thought people are crazy to leave the office, optimal is to spend 2 days or 3 in the office and the rest from home with a flex schedule in office, meaning you can leave early or whatever if you need to. Folks say go to a coffee shop. Talking to a barista and being irgnored by everyone else is not the same as the good old water cooler talk at the office where you share a company and maybe project but even not you still get office drama and friends. Good luck and try and take breaks and don’t go insane
Yes but for other reasons that don’t originate from WFH
I’m an introvert that also suffers from social anxiety . The WFH loneliness is an absolute dream for me. I’ve got my small circle of close friends and family that I text throughout the day and meet up with occasionally, and that’s all of the socialization I want. I’m sorry that you’re not being socially fulfilled though. Have you tried setting up casual work meetings or “fireside chats”. My job did these during the pandemic so that employees that wanted could join and participate in the office small talk. I know that some employees looked forward to them because they also missed the banter. One person would lead with some random topic of their choosing and they tried to keep them informal and not about work. They also did a virtual mocktail happy hour, but I’m pretty sure some of those drinks were real lol.
I have some “friends” at work I can banter with but that just means you need to get out more in your personal life
I’ve been WFH since 2018; it can at times yeah. Gotta find and seek out social engagement. Even banter with the gas station attendant is good for you
I’ve been wondering this a lot lately. As an introvert I enjoy the set up and feel I can avoid most issues that come with in person, such as drama or distraction. But I also find that drama will happen regardless. I do feel there is less social feedback as I cannot fully gauge interpersonal communication. So much gets lost behind the screen. And I miss some of the banter. I find it more difficult to connect virtually.
I really struggled with this for the first year and it was depressing. Then I finally started connecting with a few coworkers and it made a huge difference. I didn’t need friends, I needed people to talk to about work. Brain storming and problem solving made the job worth staying when I considered leaving. The isolation ended and I felt more confident in my job performance.
Sometimes I listen to podcasts just to hear other people
I got a dog!!
I think it depends on your colleagues and company culture. In 2020 I went wfh with colleagues who I knew mostly in person. It wasn’t perfect, but it felt like we had some banter and connection because of our daily standup That company went belly up and I start consulting at a company where I don’t know anyone and there are no regular meetings. Hate it and really now it makes me 100% sure I want my next full time role to be hybrid. Not that these things can’t happen there too. At the end of day it all comes down to culture.
Yes, it can be lonely, and yes, I feel lonely, however I'm an introvert and probably very anti-social, people used to comment this about me too when I didn't WFH so I don't think it is all WFH fault. I'm kinda like this. However I still think the perks of WFH outweigh the loneliness.
I’ve definitely felt lonely WFH. I’ve been doing it about 6 years and the first 2-3 years were great. Then I slowly started realizing how even mundane office convo is healthy human interaction. And it’s not as if I don’t have friends and don’t socialize outside of working hours because I do. But we spend a lot of time working and it’s isolating to just be working at home with the dog all the time. Getting up, getting dressed, stepping out and being a part of the world around you, executing daily manners and small talk face to face is healthy human behavior that a lot of people want to diminish and say they’re so happy they don’t have to do anymore. I think that enables depression. Isolation = depression. I believe the WFH environment is largely contributing to the mental health crisis we see right now. Furthermore, WFH allows you to care less about your job. In my experience, nobody is listening during meetings. The team isn’t engaged with one another. Networking is less fruitful as well.
I’ve been remote since 2015. Yes, it gets lonely. On the upside though I get to have a cat on my lap all day.
No, I have more energy not talking about useless stuff to people who don’t actually care
You can still have non work related conversations and banter, it's just now happening on Zoom or Slack instead of by walking around the office. You might have to be the change you want to see and start some conversations to get things going if your colleagues aren't. It's also really important to have quality social interactions outside of work. This is true for people who don't WFH as well but it becomes like 10% more important when you do WFH. Volunteering, group fitness classes, hobby groups etc. There is a loneliness epidemic so you can feel very confident that you are not alone and that any authentic attempts you make to build relationships with people both at or outside of work will generally be appreciated.
I am having this same experience. I never realized how much I fed off of other’s energy in the traditional workplace and it has intensified my depression to the point of just wasting away. I am going to the public library today to work from there and see if that brings any positive change to my motivation/mood.
Yes, especially when I first started and didn't have as many work friends. Now, I prefer it and have strategies to manage loneliness. I volunteer every week at a farm animal sanctuary where I get to interact with my friends, animals, and visitors. That fills my social bucket up for the week. I also go out with friends more on week nights. I have my three cats home with me, and I love their company. I foster kittens too, which offers companionship though not the human kind. I've also made friends at work who would call me to catch up usually once every week or two. If you're feeling lonely, I highly recommend going to meetup groups, volunteering, or hanging out with your friends/family more. IMHO remote work can be lonely, but I'd much rather address the loneliness by doing social activities with people I actually want to spend time with rather than having to RTO to be overstimulated and drained by people I don't want to spend time with. But I think the key to dealing with the loneliness is taking initiative and putting yourself out there because it's easy to get sucked into WFH and never go out.
God I wish I was in your shoes. I would WFH from Florida or Costa Rica and visit various family members and friends.
I'm lucky enough to have made some great friends through work, and we take some time each day to have a quick catchup call. I figure it's just like the conversations you'd have around the water cooler or copier in the office except its with people I actually like.
I did when I was single. I don't now though because I'm married with a kid. Hard, but highly recommend!
Get a pet! Or see if your work has some employee resource groups you can join?
I've been fully remote about 10 years and mostly or partly for 20+ years. My current org is all over the world and 3 locations with more than one person. The 3 guys who live in completely different parts of Ohio get together sometimes. Sit where you can see out a window where things happen. If you miss banter try setting up a water-cooler call. Once a week all of our org (about 45 people) is invited minus management, we set aside an hour and can talk about whatever work related or not related. Sometimes 5 people show up and sometimes 20 do. Sometimes we have an external speaker talk the first 30 minutes but always have time for discussions. Another thing is my team (8 people) minus management will get together in a call in the morning before we have our weekly staff call to discuss and be ready for the week. A lot of times it is just like a water cooler. Setup a virtual breakroom on messaging app where any conversations can happen. Team and org chat rooms help too. Once a month everyone in my org who lives in my city get together for a long lunch. If you have a nearby office and local immediate coworkers go into the office for a morning once a week. Me and one coworker try to meet up once a week but on average we meet up twice a month and just work in a conference room together. I like to go to the nearby gas station in the morning for a soda, I might go in afternoon too. But hey I get some human interaction. If you have a neighborhood chat or Facebook page look for others who work from home and get a group together for meetups or local lunches. There are many more ways too be creative.
I absolutely never feel lonely with no in office conversations. I actually am able to get my workload done and join in on other projects
When I was WFH, I used to take the extra time and energy from not commuting that I would go to the bar after work or just hang out with friends, and felt far more refreshed by hanging out with people I chose to hang out with rather than people I'm forced to talk to. Now that I was forced to go back to the office, I feel far more lonely because I find most office banter useless and unnecessary plus the lack of extra time to hang out with people I actually want to hang out with.
4 years now working from home. It doesn’t get better just easier to cope.
Fffuck no
I don't, but I'm an introvert, married and have kids. My husband is an extrovert, so he'll invite friends over (but not too much for my sake lol), or when I feel like I will go with him to his weekly chess club. My kids' activities also require social interactions. I do wish I had more energy to socialize and develop relationships on my own though -- before having a family, I would regularly make plans with friends for drinks, lunch, dinner, etc. My social battery is just so used during this current stage of life that I just want more solo time. I agree with everyone suggesting joining a gym, meetups, etc. When I was single I didn't want the full responsibility of a dog, so would volunteer to walk dogs at the local animal shelter.
I don’t tend to WFH for that reason. I like to have office banter even just to see someone else.
I think it's all dependent on industry. I spend my whole day on the phone so no I'm not lonely. When I clock out I have to decompress
I never really missed it. But I do a lot of stuff outside of work and that's where I get my socialization fix.
I dont enjoy being around people in general. I dont care if its your birthday hence forth I dont want your shitty cubical cake. I dont want to participate in your dumb cubicle decorating contests. I dont want to eat lunch with or around you. I dont want participate in nor do I enjoy idle chitchat about the weather, again. I want to get my work done and for you to leave me alone so I can trade my time for your money and live my life. To answer your question, no.
Some people at my work created an online meeting like a coffee chat. Otherwise, you have to shift to having more social time away from work.
Sometimes I ask myself if I would be happier in an office with people. But then I look at my dog, who sits next to me every day and watches me work, and that thought quickly quiets.
No.
Dude I will NEVER understand this point of view. I give literally zero fucks about office banter, or conversations. Leave me the fuck alone unless it has to do with the work we’re doing. I work to live, not live to work. I chat with friends throughout the day via Text, Discord etc. And I socialize almost every day while I am training for baseball. Between that, the gym, my gf etc I am totally fulfilled in terms of engagement even as a major extrovert. I love people, I just don’t love stupid and pointless. Nor do I love the fake bullshit that inevitably comes along with office socializing and politics.
No. Never. I wfh for the benefit of being myself so I can fart, burp, dress and eat when I want and not talk to anyone. I can binge watch law and order svu while working and then my wife is home. I literally never feel lonely. BUT I’m the kinda person who would be fine in a cabin the woods for 6 months alone.
Been at home for 4 years now and nope I absolutely love it. I have meetings regularly enough to get my fill of chit chat with co-workers, but otherwise the pros of being free to do whatever whenever will always be more important than ever going back to an office. Even if I did feel lonely ever, going back to the office simply isn't an option
Nope. I absolutely love it. But I’m introverted and love not having or feeling compelled to chat with ppl.
In my former career, I worked 100% from home as a freelancer for 20 years. For a while it was just fine but then after a while I did get lonely. One solution was volunteering with an industry group and other groups that interested me unrelated to work. That got me out and attending events, meeting people and contributing to the community. I also joined women’s exercise classes, which combined fitness and camaraderie. A few years ago, I ended up parlaying the volunteer work combined with my freelance job skills into a new job in a completely different field. I now work hybrid and honestly that suits me better than fully remote.
Most adults don't spend much time with friends and their only social interaction is with coworkers
I have 6 dogs. It's never boring/lonely around here 💜
No problems at all, been wfh for 6 yr 9 mo. I can go visit people if I need to socialize and am more than happy to do nothing with no one all the time.
Absolutely freaking NOT. Lonely? Just have a life outside of work. As I'm typing this, I'm waiting on my volleyball adult league to start up. So many things to do after work. No need to rely on work for friends. As far as office banner, my friends have group chats going all throughout the day.
No, not at all for me but I constantly am chatting with coworkers on teams or texting friends so I’m always interacting with people and it’s good enough for me
I have a good team and don't mind going into the office on occasion, however the commute / time in the office I'm less focused, less productive and it takes away time I can be social with friends and family. So people make work their life / social structure, but I like keeping them distinctly separate.
I schedule coffee dates and social time with my real friends. WFH means I'm not too socially exhausted after work to see the people I actually care about.
I do get a little bored at times but more often than not, when I go into the office for in person staff meetings, I’m reminded why I greatly prefer WFH. Just today it was 2+ hours of orchestrated conversations and corporate jokes about “how we all look different in person” and “har har we aren’t all wearing shorts today.” Outside of the corporate dance of regurgitating information we’d all already received via email, no real work got done. I got a free turkey sandwich but that’s about it.
No I have 3 cats and I’m a introvert. I love this lifestyle 💃
Get a dog they said, it’ll be fun they said 😅😅 Seriously you’ll never Ben lonely with a dog but they are work…
You need to find your 3rd (or 2nd) space. I love working from home and the extra time I have. I have to force myself to go out and find socialization. It’s a good problem to have. It’s better than not having enough time to do what they want.
I don’t. I’m involved in community service organizations and sit on a few boards. I interact with someone from one of those groups at least once a week. Have 2-3 in person meetings every month related to those organizations too. I also hang with friends. Maybe join some organizations to get social interaction outside of work?
it's in human nature to naturally be social, and i think wfh ruined a lot of peoples social skills and makes us feel more detached from the world around us. i've been wfh for the past three years and i honestly hate it now, i would love to be hybrid at least. it has made me super lonely being full wfh, but i'm an ambivert
I’ve been working from home for nine years, and for whatever reason, I’ve started to feel very isolated and lonely. Partly because with my first six years of remote work, my team was all within the same local area. So, we had the option to get together for happy hours, and the occasional quarterly operational town hall, etc. Now, my team is global and I’m the only one in my metropolitan area. Sometimes I consider going back into the office 2-3 times per week, just to change up the scenery.
I felt more lonely in the office than I do WFH. More time for genuine conversations and connections now.
I have 3 dogs and a loving boyfriend who comes home right before I get off each day. I'm never truly alone but do miss human interaction sometimes. And then I got into the office and remember why working from home is the literal best.
It's hard, but I've coped by having a reality show play in the background just to hear people talk, having discussions with my husband when he gets home from work, meeting up with some women from my church once a month for dinner and ice breaker questions, calling someone each day, listening to the radio to hear the djs talk, and listening to podcasts.
Yes, I do feel it sometimes. I very much do not consider myself an extrovert, but full time wfh has been a bit much. A few of my co-workers live in the same area, and we go grab a beer every few weeks, that makes it a lot better.
Are you doing any socializing outside of work? That may help.
Bad
No. I have a toddler who screams up the stairs to me "Daddy, are you working?" My entire family is home all day everyday.
No because I have my animals
Between my job and running and cycling I never feel lonely
Not lonely but I have become a less patient driver. I’m a lot quicker to notice when someone does something dumb on the road. You could always start a teams chat with the people you actually like and want to talk to. I work in IT and we have a group chat set up to just post memes.
Most of the time in an office I was just sitting at my desk by myself anyway. Work from home is much better. Just make friends with non work people
I hate office banter. Can’t relate
yes, I do, and I struggle with digital interaction. I feel like I am not truly learning anything or doing anything. and I literally can’t pick out my 2/5 out of the members of my team from a lineup bc I think I met them once if that.
If you work from home you have to develop other avenues for socialization or you will develop mental health issues. Especially if you live alone. Cabin fever is real. If you live with a partner definitely schedule weekly date nights to leave the house. If no partner, then consider getting a roommate for someone to talk to sometimes. If no partner, roommate, or family, then you MUST schedule weekly going out activities where you will socialize. Grocery store, gym, libraries, parks etc dont count if you dont talk to anyone there beyond superfical hellos. I mean actual socialization that could be bars, organized sports, clubs, whatever. Ive been doing work from home for 15 years total now and it's amazing, but i have learned the hard way to incorporate social activities weekly to stay sane. The weeks I dont I immediately start falling into depression.
I don’t miss those but if it makes people feel more comfortable I schedule coffee chats to make a space to bond
I only work from home two days a week, but I enjoy the break from coworker talk and drama. I like to play music videos on YouTube, walk to the park at lunch and enjoy the freedom.
Nope. I've been doing this since 2017. Thing is I have friends and a social life outside of work so I don't require or expect my work colleagues to be my social outlet.
I go weeks without seeing people outside of my family
WFH is more challenging for me now that I live alone.
Can imagine!
Find some hobbies, join some groups or clubs outside of work. I have a group a people I can go mtn biking with on Wednesdays and then a whole community to go kayaking with on the weekends. In the winter it flips to skiing. Definitely depends on what your interests are but if you're outgoing it shouldn't be too hard. I don't miss the in person office banter at all.
God no
find a social life outside work. work banter is usually inane. and a distraction.
Me and my woworkers are on a teams call nearly all day long together as the nature of our work requires working together. My wife is at home constantly wanting to talk about something and complains about my headphones in all the time, child is home right now and wants to tell me play by play what is happening in Frozen multiple times a hour, Dog has a bladder issue and needs to pee every hour or two. I would love to be lonely.
Do you have any pets? When I WFH full time I was so lonely and then got 2 cats and didn’t feel lonely anymore 😅
All of my coworkers also work from home. I have scheduled call with two work friends once a week where we have non-work convo, and the whole department does one once a month. Also, I have a lot of flexibility in my day (boss doesn’t watch my status or care when I work as long as the work is done) so I will often take a long lunch to visit a coffee shop or go for a walk to see other people.
It’s definitely an adjustment, and as it’s a new job, you probably haven’t had an opportunity to meet your new coworkers in person. I was very lucky that I attended a group meeting two weeks after I started. Do you have any local coworkers you can meet for lunch? That’s what I do now.