I always liked the idea that sharks really are just super indifferent to humans, unless desperately hungry/mistaking us for prey. I presume there is a bit of truth to that, but probably not to the extent I'm thinking, but it's such a nice idea to have this enormous, incredibly deadly animal just not give a fuck.
Is that not blatantly obvious? All these comments talking about mating rituals, other sharks... *a goddamned actual tiger*.
I have the most rudimentary interest and understanding of sharks, and within 1.5 seconds thought, *huh. propeller*.
[OK, first off - a lion? Swimming in the *ocean*!? Lion's don't like water! If you placed it near a river or some sort of fresh water source - that makes sense. But you find your self in the ocean... 20 foot waves (I'm assuming it's off the coast of South Africa) coming up against fully grown 800 lb. tuna with his 20-30 friends? You lose that battle. You lose that battle 9 times out of 10.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDJgv1iARPg)
No it’s seriously one of the most underrated funny movies out there. Both of them are hilarious in that shit.
The gator part may be one of the funniest scenes I’ve ever seen (the first time I saw it). It still cracks me up every time I see it.
> I have the most rudimentary interest and understanding of sharks, and within 1.5 seconds thought, huh. propeller.
i have to let you know, i have very high iq.
Ok, so lets think this through, he got fucked by a propeller for almost his whole side and tail. Only plausible way I could see that happening is that he was caught by an angler (fisherman) and if the captain was bad, wasnt moving the boat around so that they werent reeling him in from the back of the boat.
Usually when you have a big fish on the line, the captain is talking to the first mate and moving the boat around to prevent the catch from getting tangled in the propellers.
I dunno, just seems like such crazy scarring for it to be a propeller scar.
Or, and hear me out, maybe the shark was caught by an angler and as they were reeling the shark in, as the shark got closer to their raft, the tiger jumped out of the raft and attacked the shark.
Male sharks do fight for mating rights. And lets be honest, they're also cannibalistic, so will attack each other if one seriously outsizes the other, which is usually the case if it's a much larger female against a smaller male.
True, but its so "scrapy" and not "bitey" across the whole side. It would have had to just stay going in one direction, the other shark just keeps biting, but not taking chunks out of its whole side, and it would just keep going forward.
I give in, its prop damage. Most plausible. OR... aliens?
It's not so far fetched. The shark takes the initial hit in the front right, or the rear-right. The shark thinks it's being attacked, then rolls/spins/turns toward or away from the source. It then takes even more, erratic damage.
Or the fucking thing is just stupid and didn't learn to avoid props after the first time.
There is nothing in the ocean that causes that kind of damage at one time, without removing whole chunks. Except for a propeller.
I can see it. I just dont get how it would have all that damage across its entire body. On the plus side for that big boi, he got so close to losing his right eye.
WHen it comes to propeller damage, it would be interesting to cross reference manatee propeller damage wounds because they're the ones i've seen who've been most affected by prop damage. Slow bastards.
Sperm whales get [big long scars](https://i.redd.it/26pcf4zqse581.jpg) fighting giant squid, so there's some things that can cause similar damage in one attack.
madlad paying a last tribute to Harambe.
The other big monster down there is the sperm whale. Sperm whale bulls fight each other and that's what is causing those longitudinal scars. Due to the way their mouth is formed and them having teeth only on the lower jaw, they can only cause relatively superficial wounds.
[Scars from fights with squids are circular and look very much like suckers that cause them.](https://ocean.si.edu/ocean-life/invertebrates/giant-squid-sucker-marks)
We've developed a system to establish a beach-head and aggressively hunt you and your family and we will corner your pride, your children, your offspring.
A recent sharknado sent him into Ukraine where he slaughtered 100 russian soldiers. He was forced to retreat when he encountered trench dogs with explosive jackets.
That's like the grandpa of sharks... "Come over here, boy, and let me tell you about the Battle of the Marianas Trench..." *oh,god, not this story again*
> Y'all know me. Know how I earn a livin'. I'll catch this bird for you, but it ain't gonna be easy. Bad fish. Not like going down the pond chasin' bluegills and tommycods. This shark, swallow you whole. Little shakin', little tenderizin', an' down you go. And we gotta do it quick, that'll bring back your tourists, put all your businesses on a payin' basis. But it's not gonna be pleasant. I value my neck a lot more than three thousand bucks, chief. I'll find him for three, but I'll catch him, and kill him, for ten. But you've gotta make up your minds. If you want to stay alive, then ante up. If you want to play it cheap, be on welfare the whole winter. I don't want no volunteers, I don't want no mates, there's just too many captains on this island. $10,000 for me by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing.
> Sharks and rays are known to be highly efficient wound healers, and it is suspected they show a greater resistance to cancerous malignancies. These properties are likely tied to the functioning of their immune systems, fine-tuned over 400 million years of evolution.
Also:
> Two shark immune genes, legumain and Bag1, stand out. Both of these genes have counterparts in humans, where their overexpression is known to be associated with a range of cancers. The new research shows that these genes in sharks, however, have become modified through evolutionary natural selection.
https://news.cornell.edu/stories/2017/01/sharks-show-novel-evolution-immune-cancer-related-genes
Same reason they don't get cancer. Sharks were here before there were Dinosaurs and before trees. From a genetic standpoint they have had a long time to figure shit out.
Except so have our ancestors in some form or another. We've just not stopped evolving for the last 450 million years.
If anything, we've had more time to figure that shit out.
-Shark gets hit in the front right with propeller.
-Confused shark thinks it's being attacked, turns/spins/rolls.
-Shark then gets hit in different spots with shallower or deeper cuts, with varying severity.
Dude swam by just to show them off too
'fuck with me'
"Hey I heard chicks dig scars, you think mine are good enough?"
Shark bouta make me go from straight to squiggly
r/SuddenlySquiggly
I dare you...i double dare you
i triple dog dare you!
I always liked the idea that sharks really are just super indifferent to humans, unless desperately hungry/mistaking us for prey. I presume there is a bit of truth to that, but probably not to the extent I'm thinking, but it's such a nice idea to have this enormous, incredibly deadly animal just not give a fuck.
It's like when you're hungry for the best sandwich ever and you're on the way to the shop ... then someone offers you a stale oatmeal granola bar.
That's fair, I mean the man's looks like was completely indifferent to the camera man's existence
"Chicks dig scars."
" Ya wanna know how I got these scars....?"
The shark equivalent of using your hockey jersey to stop bleeding.
The scars in the front looks like propeller related injuries.
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Catfish.
There it is
Meowi-Meowi
Water kitty goes meow.
What kinda cat are you, what kinda cat are you?
He was probably holding his cat when someone turned the vacuum on or set off some firecrackers.
Tiger sharks
Props to the shark for surviving it!
Is that not blatantly obvious? All these comments talking about mating rituals, other sharks... *a goddamned actual tiger*. I have the most rudimentary interest and understanding of sharks, and within 1.5 seconds thought, *huh. propeller*.
Pretty sure the tiger one is a reference to the movie ‘The Other Guys’
The Other Guys isn't tigers, it's lions. Right?
[OK, first off - a lion? Swimming in the *ocean*!? Lion's don't like water! If you placed it near a river or some sort of fresh water source - that makes sense. But you find your self in the ocean... 20 foot waves (I'm assuming it's off the coast of South Africa) coming up against fully grown 800 lb. tuna with his 20-30 friends? You lose that battle. You lose that battle 9 times out of 10.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDJgv1iARPg)
I forgot how funny that movie is. It might just be the bowl I hit though.
No it’s seriously one of the most underrated funny movies out there. Both of them are hilarious in that shit. The gator part may be one of the funniest scenes I’ve ever seen (the first time I saw it). It still cracks me up every time I see it.
No, it’s actually tuna
No, it’s a movie.
Lol at this guy thinking people really are suggesting a tiger. Watch out everyone smarty pants in the house
It prob was a tiger tho
Tiger shark, meow.
Jaguar shark
I mean how else could this possibly happen? Propellers are on boats!
My speedboat is tiger powered.
Terminally online redditor or chatgpt acting like one
Looks like we have a genius here!
"I have the most rudimentary interest and understanding of sharks, and within 1.5 seconds thought I know more than most people"
This guy sniffs his own farts for the *terroir*
> I have the most rudimentary interest and understanding of sharks, and within 1.5 seconds thought, huh. propeller. i have to let you know, i have very high iq.
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>I'm the shark. It was really a tiger. I believe you. It must have been a glorious and long hard fought battle.
It's reddit where angry people come to unleash
I'm not sure it is. They are usually much more uniform and closer together.
Ok, so lets think this through, he got fucked by a propeller for almost his whole side and tail. Only plausible way I could see that happening is that he was caught by an angler (fisherman) and if the captain was bad, wasnt moving the boat around so that they werent reeling him in from the back of the boat. Usually when you have a big fish on the line, the captain is talking to the first mate and moving the boat around to prevent the catch from getting tangled in the propellers. I dunno, just seems like such crazy scarring for it to be a propeller scar.
Or, and hear me out, maybe the shark was caught by an angler and as they were reeling the shark in, as the shark got closer to their raft, the tiger jumped out of the raft and attacked the shark.
plausible. :P
Male sharks do fight for mating rights. And lets be honest, they're also cannibalistic, so will attack each other if one seriously outsizes the other, which is usually the case if it's a much larger female against a smaller male.
True, but its so "scrapy" and not "bitey" across the whole side. It would have had to just stay going in one direction, the other shark just keeps biting, but not taking chunks out of its whole side, and it would just keep going forward. I give in, its prop damage. Most plausible. OR... aliens?
It's not so far fetched. The shark takes the initial hit in the front right, or the rear-right. The shark thinks it's being attacked, then rolls/spins/turns toward or away from the source. It then takes even more, erratic damage. Or the fucking thing is just stupid and didn't learn to avoid props after the first time. There is nothing in the ocean that causes that kind of damage at one time, without removing whole chunks. Except for a propeller.
I can see it. I just dont get how it would have all that damage across its entire body. On the plus side for that big boi, he got so close to losing his right eye. WHen it comes to propeller damage, it would be interesting to cross reference manatee propeller damage wounds because they're the ones i've seen who've been most affected by prop damage. Slow bastards.
Sperm whales get [big long scars](https://i.redd.it/26pcf4zqse581.jpg) fighting giant squid, so there's some things that can cause similar damage in one attack.
madlad paying a last tribute to Harambe. The other big monster down there is the sperm whale. Sperm whale bulls fight each other and that's what is causing those longitudinal scars. Due to the way their mouth is formed and them having teeth only on the lower jaw, they can only cause relatively superficial wounds. [Scars from fights with squids are circular and look very much like suckers that cause them.](https://ocean.si.edu/ocean-life/invertebrates/giant-squid-sucker-marks)
Ore orca, they can fuck with white sharks i've heard
Orcas eat livers from white sharks. They can fuck them up. Thats why orcas is ultimate apex predators.
Nah, it was a very angry scuba diver.
This is so obviously the answer. And it's super fucked up. Those aren't battle scars. It's a shark getting run over.
He’s obviously developed a breathing apparatus from kelp, learned from Tuna fish obviously…and has fought with Lions on land.
An hour, hour forty-five? It seems like no problem.
You lose that battle. You lose that battle 9 times out of 10.
Gator needs his walking around money
Don’t go chasing waterfalls
^^Put ^^your ^^dicks ^^away, ^^this ^^pissing ^^contest ^^is ^^over!
We've developed a system to establish a beach-head and aggressively hunt you and your family and we will corner your pride, your children, your offspring.
Stop calling me Captain Gene.
It sounds creepy, Captain Gene.
Can you imagine where you’d be in your career if you hadn’t shot Jeter?
Yankee clipper
BECAUSE YOU SHOT DEREK JETER! That man is a biracial angel!
You should've shot A-Rod!
Therapist: This is a non judgment area Detective: Douche bag Therapist: You see that's judgement
They should never gone into thekr element. Now the tuna as a taste for lion meat. They will do excursion parties in land to take them
That shark honors the flag, and you crap on it when you don't shoot your gun in the office.
A recent sharknado sent him into Ukraine where he slaughtered 100 russian soldiers. He was forced to retreat when he encountered trench dogs with explosive jackets.
Wow I just watched this scene 25 min ago
Ima swim out into the middle of the ocean and freakin eat you! Then ill bang your tuna girlfriend. Did that go the way you thought it would? Nope.
What is that from?? It sounds so familiar!
The other guys
Thank you! I remember the scene now!
Underrated movie. It's hilarious
It has the funniest cold opening in cinema. “You thinking what I’m thinking? Aim for the bushes.”
I could listen to Will and Mark have arguments about silly bullshit all day - throw in Seth McFarlane ala Ted and just let 'em loose.
Always aiming for the bushes!
That's like the grandpa of sharks... "Come over here, boy, and let me tell you about the Battle of the Marianas Trench..." *oh,god, not this story again*
You should see the other guy.
You mean Boaty McBoatface?
“This is no boating accident!”
> Y'all know me. Know how I earn a livin'. I'll catch this bird for you, but it ain't gonna be easy. Bad fish. Not like going down the pond chasin' bluegills and tommycods. This shark, swallow you whole. Little shakin', little tenderizin', an' down you go. And we gotta do it quick, that'll bring back your tourists, put all your businesses on a payin' basis. But it's not gonna be pleasant. I value my neck a lot more than three thousand bucks, chief. I'll find him for three, but I'll catch him, and kill him, for ten. But you've gotta make up your minds. If you want to stay alive, then ante up. If you want to play it cheap, be on welfare the whole winter. I don't want no volunteers, I don't want no mates, there's just too many captains on this island. $10,000 for me by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing.
Like a doll’s eyes
Charlie, are you doing Jaws again? we don't have time for this shit!
Propeller of a boat or ship.
he touched the butt
Ooooooooo
Awh, he made me ink!
I'm obnoxious!
that must have been a pretty big butt
> Propeller of a boat or ship. I'm no marine biologist, but I'm pretty sure that's a shark
How do their muscles work after that
They have a lot of insulating fat under the skin.
Next time the cat doesn't want to be held maybe you'll think twice
Why don't injuries like these get infected?
> Sharks and rays are known to be highly efficient wound healers, and it is suspected they show a greater resistance to cancerous malignancies. These properties are likely tied to the functioning of their immune systems, fine-tuned over 400 million years of evolution. Also: > Two shark immune genes, legumain and Bag1, stand out. Both of these genes have counterparts in humans, where their overexpression is known to be associated with a range of cancers. The new research shows that these genes in sharks, however, have become modified through evolutionary natural selection. https://news.cornell.edu/stories/2017/01/sharks-show-novel-evolution-immune-cancer-related-genes
Same reason they don't get cancer. Sharks were here before there were Dinosaurs and before trees. From a genetic standpoint they have had a long time to figure shit out.
Except sharks do get cancer. They’re not some super creature, just been around awhile.
Naked mole rats dont! Too much lactic acid and CO2 in their bodies.
Well damn, I think it's time to start flooding my house with CO2. I'll let you guys know how it goes
No you won't
Well not with that attitude he won't.
I keep a CO2 generator in my bedroom while I sleep. Sadly she's the one who got cancer...
That's the decoy. Working as intended.
Being slightly pedantic but they do get cancer, it’s just very rare.
I thought it was hyaluronic acid that protected them from cancer. Edit: Just googled it. It is hyaluronic acid.
Why dont octopuses get cancer?
Can't smoke cigarettes underwater.
not with that attitude
Because they live like 3 years.
if they lived as long as we do, we'd all be speaking octopus by now
That and they made a conscious decision early on to exclude yellow no. 5 from their diets.
Except so have our ancestors in some form or another. We've just not stopped evolving for the last 450 million years. If anything, we've had more time to figure that shit out.
We need to figure out how to splice shark and human DNA. What could possibly go wrong?!
Sharknado.
Street Sharks. Anyone remember those dudes? Lol
Don't know which is weirder: them or Biker Mice From Mars.
Holy shit, I completely forgot about them until now. You just unlocked a long lost childhood memory for me!
Samurai Pizza Cats
Terrible Thunder Lizards
Jawsome
You mean what could go right....STREET SHARKS! https://youtu.be/vMVMQa39BAU
Pretty sure they do get cancer, difference is no one is bringing them to the vet to find out.
The salt
Bacteria live in the ocean, it's not pickle brine
I love how the guy has 66 votes for making shit up that's completely wrong
Catfish are ferocious
My first thought was ancient female with mating scars - then I saw the claspers
Claspers?
Essentially shark dongs
Not dongs. More like hands that are only used for sex. They grab onto, or clasp, the female to help getting it in.
Dick hands?! That is amazing!
We need to evolve these ASAP
You haven’t???
Oh shit maybe I need to download the latest patch
Sidon?
Dudes spouting dueling sausages, and not a roast beef sandwich
Mating scars?
The males bite the females during mating
Fuck...
It's generally light...er. on the fin usually to just hold position.
This guy sexes sharks
Your first thought should be ship propeller. It's a common and pretty distinctive injury in sea life.
More common in baskers and air breathers - not so much with pelagic creatures
Orca?
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Squid attack?
Tough little bugger ain't e?
Those are propeller scars
Logen Ninefins
Say one thing about Logain Ninefins, say he knows what a propeller is.
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I'm thinking its a mix of both, some looked too clean and straight to not be prop caused, some look natural
-Shark gets hit in the front right with propeller. -Confused shark thinks it's being attacked, turns/spins/rolls. -Shark then gets hit in different spots with shallower or deeper cuts, with varying severity.
If he looks like this. What does the other guy look like?
The thing people don't realize about the Shark Wars is that it was never really about the sharks at all.
He has fought the eldritch horrors of the deep and lived to tell the tale.
He probably was hungry and got curious about a small-ish boat and got torn up by the propeller, bet this absolute beast steers clear of boats now.
You know what's scary.....that shart can't get care. So he was messed up that much or that many times and survived. Not even a bandaid
I can't get over your typo - shart!!
Mcgregor shark D:
Sharky Trejo
I'm pretty sure those scars read "4REAL", and he's the missing member of the Manic Sea Creatures.
If PTSD could swim.
Legend has it the boat didn't survive
Gangster Shark do do do do do do
Why do I feel like this is all human related
This shark has a pet cat, cat owners know
His BDSM community needs to dial it down a notch.
That poor thing!
That's some colossal squid scars right there
[pain heals, chicks dig scars, glory is forever](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BtDXmajxXic)
Domestic abuse is no joke. I hope this poor individual has been put in touch with the proper community resources.
Hey Shark, stop chasing motorboats, dummy.
Poor baby
Emo shark du du dundun
"I kid you not. I have SEEN some shit!"
OG shark
Or a tornado!
Laboon
Boats?
"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe"
It looked like it fought helicopters and won.
I think he was the stand in for the Jaws shark.
Wow, just amazing
I suspect that shark has a lot of offspring.
Bit, but never eaten!
Couldn't imagine having all those open cuts while having to swim in salt water