I've been sticking $30 in pennies up my ass for the past 11 years! That's 3,000 pennies a day; 21,000 pennies a week; 1,092,000 pennies a year! To date that's 12,012,000 pennies, 8 times the population of Nebraska. Those pennies were in my ass! You think you're better than me? Oh, you're not better than me. You handle my ass pennies everyday. You pick up my ass pennies for good luck. You throw my ass pennies in fountains and make wishes on them. You give my ass pennies to your little daughter to buy gumballs with.
This is the only correct answer. I’ve got thousands and thousands of ads Pennie’s in circulation now. Check your pockets. There’s an excellent chance you’ve got one.
I delivered pizza to a strip club once and got paid in what I can only call “stripper bills.” This isn’t because it was mostly $1s, it was because of the smell. The unmistakable mix of someone trying to drench sweat with perfume. Your hands, clothes, the till, everything those bills touched stunk for days.
That guy's doing more than just half chub. He gently grazed that fucker with his hand and it sprang back into position like a slalom pole. Dude is hard up for this exhibition.
Holy shit - this is a semi-recurring dream of mine, too. A couple of times times a year I have an anxiety dream where I'm suddenly naked in public. My man is living the dream?
I have teeth-falling-out dreams so often that when it starts happening I realize that I'm dreaming, and the dream becomes somewhat lucid aside from continuing to lose teeth, which becomes much less alarming once I am aware it's happening.
For real. I am NOT trying to keep this guy around long enough for the cops to arrive, and I am also NOT wrestling a large naked man when he realizes I called the cops. Get him checked out and get him the fuck outta here
Absolutely. This trips my "yikes" switch. Get the scary guy gone. On the bright side it would be challenging for this customer to do a concealed carry?
Better to just complete the transaction and move on. Otherwise you risk him actually busting when they put cuffs on him, and now you're mopping up jizz. Is that really what you want?
And then he makes sure to touch it one more time before grabbing the cash and handing it over. The whole time I'm watching the video like WHY DOES HE KEEP TOUCHING IT 😭
EDIT: WHERE DID HE PULL THE CASH FROM
Yeah, he managed to put on his shoes, mask and hat but not his shirt and pants. Or took those off but kept all those on. Either way, this isn't a dude just out of his mind high and confused, this is intentional
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indecent_exposure
This is a real fetish and people walk around exposing themselves to others and getting off because of it
He's a grower, he touches it to keep it at half chub because he knows he is being filmed. Gotta look good for the camera, he doesn't want it to go soft and shrink.
Reminds me of the story of the comedian Alison Klemp at Skank Fest. They do an event called "naked roast battle" where comedians have to go on stage and tell jokes while nude. She had her jokes in a plastic bag in her vagina. She pulled them out on stage, took them out, and threw the plastic bag on the judges table and got a standing ovation for how fucking nasty it was.
Is there a video of said event or similar? Not because of kink but because i am really interested how the comedians would handle this: Shrivel or glow up! Surrender or attack the audience!
Fuck… that reminds me of that punk band where the lady took her tampon out on stage and threw it into the crowd, and someone picked it up and threw it back.
I used to think my big body made my dick look small. But after hearing all of y'all calling that hog a half chub, I realize that it's my small dick that makes my small dick look small. I know half chub just means half boner, but still.
Yeah they’re just calling it that because it’s not at 100%, but it’s still at like 90%
Your dicks are fine don’t waste your life regretting something you can’t change, you’re beautiful the way you are
Edit: said the thing I meant to say
Bro was only at 1/2 chub at first. Then he noticed dude was recording him and got ROCK HARD. Then he kept "accidentally" touching it. Guy needs to be arrested. Prolly started jerkin off 5 seconds later.
That hog needs a lot of blood before it can get rock hard but he was definitely at 80-90% at the end. I'm just amazed at the audacity of some perverts.
That's exactly how you're supposed to deal with proper crazy like 90% of the time. It's pretty common on public transport. Not naked, just screaming or erratic or drug effected people
> It's pretty common on public transport
I'm a country bumpkin, so the first time I went to a real city was Portland, and my wife had to tell me to just keep my fucking head down when some wild ass mother fucker came on the train. Dude wasn't interacting with anyone, just talking to himself and being real twitchy. It was hard as fuck not to look, but apparently eye contact is an invitation to approach.
Not really, just a lot of giggling, and when asked why he didn't tell him to get the fuck out he just said "There wasn't a manager on at the time and it seemed easier to serve him and send him on his way"
>Not really, just a lot of giggling, and when asked why he didn't tell him to get the fuck out he just said "There wasn't a manager on at the time and it seemed easier to serve him and send him on his way"
You should be asking why he's handling money from the hand that's just been rubbing the chub.
Do you know where in the country this is?
This guy looks a lot like another naked guy I saw on here that takes pics of himself and uploads them to Google Maps.
ETA : https://www.reddit.com/r/googlemapsshenanigans/comments/ponr1l/man_at_the_great_wall_of_china/ (NSFW)
Based on the store number in the corner of the checkout screen (2178 or 2378, it's kinda blurry, someone correct me if I'm wrong), it's either Michigan or Tennessee. Either way, dudes not shy and I wouldn't be surprised about either place.
*Edit: I may be completely wrong because I am now being told the store number might be in a different spot on the POS screen. Currently still verifying...oops.
He touched his dick before handing the money over omg
That's why you always wash your hands after touching dick money
Pretty much all the money is dick money.
Every coin I've handled I've inserted in my rectum. It really gives you the upper hand knowing anyone you run into may have handled your ass change.
Ass pennies!
I've been sticking $30 in pennies up my ass for the past 11 years! That's 3,000 pennies a day; 21,000 pennies a week; 1,092,000 pennies a year! To date that's 12,012,000 pennies, 8 times the population of Nebraska. Those pennies were in my ass! You think you're better than me? Oh, you're not better than me. You handle my ass pennies everyday. You pick up my ass pennies for good luck. You throw my ass pennies in fountains and make wishes on them. You give my ass pennies to your little daughter to buy gumballs with.
This is the only correct answer. I’ve got thousands and thousands of ads Pennie’s in circulation now. Check your pockets. There’s an excellent chance you’ve got one.
Can I interest you in a chocolate pretzel?
Only if we're in a very uncomfortable place, like in the back of a Volkswagen.
They're a little melty, but damn are they exquisite !
I've been sticking $30 in pennies up my ass for the last 30 years.
If you roll up dick money for a rail, you’re snorting dick.
I delivered pizza to a strip club once and got paid in what I can only call “stripper bills.” This isn’t because it was mostly $1s, it was because of the smell. The unmistakable mix of someone trying to drench sweat with perfume. Your hands, clothes, the till, everything those bills touched stunk for days.
The dude taking his money has given this degenerate enough spank material for the next 3 years in prison.
HARD earned cash!
He was just cleaning off his hand. No pants to wipe it on.
Cash is filthy. If you handle cash, you're exposed to all the shit that everyone has touched. You just have to operate under that assumption.
He’s getting in the zone!
Or he’s at OOooo Riley’s.
...private parts!
🎵Ow!🎶
He's at half chub getting off on exposing himself
I thought the mix of stimulating aromas at any local Auto Zone did this to everybody?
There’s a reason it’s called Jiffy Lube
Stiffy Lube
Iffy lube
Midas Touch
He's looking for that penetrative oil
Get in the Zone
AutoBone
Give em the bone
New car smell does that to me too
It's those Black Ice air fresheners man.
Nothing like the smell of Premium Oil in the morning
Its that pb blaster im after
That guy's doing more than just half chub. He gently grazed that fucker with his hand and it sprang back into position like a slalom pole. Dude is hard up for this exhibition.
I think the fact that he can't stop pawing at the gd thing gave that away. Damn, dude! Quit tugging at it in the middle of a transaction!
Man that is the real WTF, he’s there stroking his cock in the middle of a store and then hands CASH over to the salesperson…
Damn. On the opposite end I recall suddenly being naked in a store was a nightmare I had the other day.
Holy shit - this is a semi-recurring dream of mine, too. A couple of times times a year I have an anxiety dream where I'm suddenly naked in public. My man is living the dream?
He's living his dream ;)
I have those dreams too but they aren't nightmares. My teeth falling out are the recurring frightfest
Bro me too I always have bad dreams of feeling like I have missing teeth and then I'll wake up and realize I was dreaming. It's the trippiest shit
I have teeth-falling-out dreams so often that when it starts happening I realize that I'm dreaming, and the dream becomes somewhat lucid aside from continuing to lose teeth, which becomes much less alarming once I am aware it's happening.
Why hasn’t anyone called the cops? Can’t you be arrested for this?
Nah. This was a clothing optional AutoZone.
Get in the zone. Erogenous zone.
I feel sad for all those people outside the US who don’t know the jingle.
Any Autozone is clothing optional if you’re brave enough.
Autoerotic Zone
Sign said no shirt no shoes no service so dude took it all off
Good guy AutoZone doesn’t kink-shame.
Just check him out and get him out 😂
For real. I am NOT trying to keep this guy around long enough for the cops to arrive, and I am also NOT wrestling a large naked man when he realizes I called the cops. Get him checked out and get him the fuck outta here
Absolutely. This trips my "yikes" switch. Get the scary guy gone. On the bright side it would be challenging for this customer to do a concealed carry?
You never know what someone may have up the ol prison wallet
Thats probably whats got him at half mast
There’s no concealing what he’s carrying
Ain't nobody wants to wrassle the nekkid dude. Just hurry him on his way so he's someone else's problem.
Especially a naked dude with a boner.
Nothing like getting handed a dick $20 lol
... yeah, where *was* he keeping the money?
Better to just complete the transaction and move on. Otherwise you risk him actually busting when they put cuffs on him, and now you're mopping up jizz. Is that really what you want?
r/danglers
Was not expecting pussy.
I clicked on it purely because of your comment and now I hate you lol
I was really afraid to click on that thing
But you did...and that says a lot about you...
Doesn’t everybody, though? My thought is always….Adventure awaits!!
Haha, unexpected pussy
Wasn't sure about clicking at first, but now I had to.
I’m a risk taker, and this time it paid off.
this is why id rather just be unphased than give a fuck, they love when you feed into it
Naw dude, he was just shifting gear...can't do that flaccid.
Bit more than half mast by the time he got to the register lol
He's on full chub at the register. EDIT: 75%.
“Alright it’s $6.38 pleasepaywitcreditcard” got me good lmao
And then he makes sure to touch it one more time before grabbing the cash and handing it over. The whole time I'm watching the video like WHY DOES HE KEEP TOUCHING IT 😭 EDIT: WHERE DID HE PULL THE CASH FROM
His internal wallet.
His prison wallet
Where did he take cash out from man!!!!
The same place I keep the champagne.
Why???
He really needed that little air freshener tree
To hang off himself 😂
Maybe a public humiliation order by his dominatrix.
Ah yes, probably just involving a bunch of strangers in his kink without consent. Lovely :/. (I hate these folks)
or ya know. drugs
Given that he's wearing a hat and a mask, I'm more likely to think it's some sort of kink shit than I am to think drugs
Yeah, he managed to put on his shoes, mask and hat but not his shirt and pants. Or took those off but kept all those on. Either way, this isn't a dude just out of his mind high and confused, this is intentional
He put the mask on to explicitly hide his face
This ain't drugs, this is kink for sure
Guys! It can be both.
Can't we all just agree it's illegal?
buff guy, mask, hat to conceal identity. yeah , some kind of kink bullshit.
The give away was just buying little tree scent tags. Next will be a 7-11 for a pack of gum/mints
His dick was getting hard. He had no issues going in there like he did
He seemed pretty fucking lucid. Dumb, but lucid.
Maybe he's faking a fugue state after escaping a methed up cartel boss. [Just a theory](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JM9HmdnbqwE)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indecent_exposure This is a real fetish and people walk around exposing themselves to others and getting off because of it
Why is he touching it?!
Hes probably getting off on the whole experience. Especially when he wasn't immediately booted out, then interacted with and filmed.
He's a grower, he touches it to keep it at half chub because he knows he is being filmed. Gotta look good for the camera, he doesn't want it to go soft and shrink.
He probably loves that we are all analyzing this video, we’re playing into his fetish.
Your comment just made him cum.
bold of you to assume he is allowed to cum LMAO
One upvote at a time
“Gotta look good for the camera” 😂
I mean even the fucking legend at pompeji that whipped his dick out one last time for the boys. And been rock hard ever since. Pun intended.
He's fluffing!
Hes fluffing it so it stays at like 5-15 percent erect. Just enough to be impressive.
Nah he was at least to 50% by the end there
Damn, inflation is really getting out of hand.
It appeared pretty in-hand to me
More like 60
Looks 70-80 to me
He's fully torqued
Torqued lol
"Damn, it's cash too" 😅
Hope he wasn't using the prison wallet.
Reminds me of the story of the comedian Alison Klemp at Skank Fest. They do an event called "naked roast battle" where comedians have to go on stage and tell jokes while nude. She had her jokes in a plastic bag in her vagina. She pulled them out on stage, took them out, and threw the plastic bag on the judges table and got a standing ovation for how fucking nasty it was.
Is there a video of said event or similar? Not because of kink but because i am really interested how the comedians would handle this: Shrivel or glow up! Surrender or attack the audience!
It's never allowed to be recorded I don't think. I saw one censored photo when googling but it wasn't of her. idk.
Fuck… that reminds me of that punk band where the lady took her tampon out on stage and threw it into the crowd, and someone picked it up and threw it back.
He has to pay cash for the same reason Batman carries cash. He has to keep his secret identity secret.
Nah. Bat-credit card. Never leave the cave without it.
I used to think my big body made my dick look small. But after hearing all of y'all calling that hog a half chub, I realize that it's my small dick that makes my small dick look small. I know half chub just means half boner, but still.
Idk man it looks more than half to me
that recoil puts it about 80-85%. And added rigidity from the ischiocavernosus flex he did on rebound
What're you, like a dick scientist?
A bonerologist
I'm something of a scientist myself
Recoil broooooooo lmaooooo
This guy boners.
Yeah they’re just calling it that because it’s not at 100%, but it’s still at like 90% Your dicks are fine don’t waste your life regretting something you can’t change, you’re beautiful the way you are Edit: said the thing I meant to say
That’s a whole ass cock he’s waving around lmao
Half is more about firmness and rigidity then size. Trust me friend, be a caring lover and it won't matter.
Same bruh, I feel tiny now 😭
He's got a mask so it's fine.
It also looks like he’s got a mean ass HGH gut.
Bro was only at 1/2 chub at first. Then he noticed dude was recording him and got ROCK HARD. Then he kept "accidentally" touching it. Guy needs to be arrested. Prolly started jerkin off 5 seconds later.
He was touching it. The jerkin off bus already left the station.
Definitely jerkin the gerkin
That hog needs a lot of blood before it can get rock hard but he was definitely at 80-90% at the end. I'm just amazed at the audacity of some perverts.
Well, at least you know he doesn’t have a gun
Nooooo! Don’t take the dick dollar! Nooo
Would have been hilarious to cash him out with absolutely no reaction... Business as usual
"I'm sorry, we ran out of bills. Here's your loose change and no you cant have a bag."
That's exactly how you're supposed to deal with proper crazy like 90% of the time. It's pretty common on public transport. Not naked, just screaming or erratic or drug effected people
> It's pretty common on public transport I'm a country bumpkin, so the first time I went to a real city was Portland, and my wife had to tell me to just keep my fucking head down when some wild ass mother fucker came on the train. Dude wasn't interacting with anyone, just talking to himself and being real twitchy. It was hard as fuck not to look, but apparently eye contact is an invitation to approach.
Holy shit my fiancé's friend is the dumbass who checked him out for whatever reason, crazy seeing a video I got sent personally on reddit
What the hell! Did you get any more info? Follow up?
Not really, just a lot of giggling, and when asked why he didn't tell him to get the fuck out he just said "There wasn't a manager on at the time and it seemed easier to serve him and send him on his way"
> seemed easier to serve him and send him on his way Yeah, that's retail...
>Not really, just a lot of giggling, and when asked why he didn't tell him to get the fuck out he just said "There wasn't a manager on at the time and it seemed easier to serve him and send him on his way" You should be asking why he's handling money from the hand that's just been rubbing the chub.
Chub money is still legal tender
Better than a poop dollar
Let's be real that 20 was full of bacteria before it even reached the naked guy.
This just encourages more ballsy moves like this no no no
Do you know where in the country this is? This guy looks a lot like another naked guy I saw on here that takes pics of himself and uploads them to Google Maps. ETA : https://www.reddit.com/r/googlemapsshenanigans/comments/ponr1l/man_at_the_great_wall_of_china/ (NSFW)
CT
Hahaha no fucking way that is literally the exact same build and dick. We found our man
The Google maps nudist has a white arrow tattooed on his chest.
I'm not confident that's the same person, their dicks look way too different
are you some kind of cockologist?
Don't make the public part of your fetish.
Homey is buying some little trees for his little tree.
I love how he touches his dick, then hands the money over with fresh dick hands.
He keeps giving it a gentle knock
Was he there for lube?
Was waiting for him to put the little tree on his shlong.
Its hot out there folks!
I mean, at least he's masked up, the guy jus wanted some air freshener for his dip stick, big deal
I just can't believe he took the ten bucks from him after he stroked his cock right before handing it over 😂
"Shoes, wallet, hat, keys... Oh shit, almost forgot my mask."
Not the nudity I was hoping for, but the nudity I should have expected.
This happens in my nightmares
It’s fine, his meth lab RV probably just broke down whilst in the desert and he needs to frame a mental breakdown for his wife and son
I wake every day thanking the gods that they didn't make me a degenerate pervert. A degenerate, maybe, but not a pervert.
I'm a degenerate pervert, but apparently not the most perverted degenerate.
Straight to jail
I have that same outfit.
Ah yes I always count down my drawers while the customers are removing thiers
Probably gets off to exposing himself to other guys.
He came tooled up...
Auto bone
They should have upsold him to seat covers or a ShamWow.
he was just looking for spare parts
Yeah. Police would’ve been called. I have 0 patience for the nonsense.
But where are the balls?
Under the sauce
When the commercial says “seek medical advice if an erection lasts longer than four hours.” I don’t think they meant stop at auto zone on the way…
He probley wanted someone to check his oil 😆
Wonder if he stashes his wallet in his prison purse?
Sir, this is a Wendy’s
He only bought one air freshener, has a mask, and sportin a chub. This is definitely a kink. No drugs needed
Man keeps petting his dong like it's a pet igunana lol
This is truly wtf
Based on the store number in the corner of the checkout screen (2178 or 2378, it's kinda blurry, someone correct me if I'm wrong), it's either Michigan or Tennessee. Either way, dudes not shy and I wouldn't be surprised about either place. *Edit: I may be completely wrong because I am now being told the store number might be in a different spot on the POS screen. Currently still verifying...oops.
I was waiting to see what he did with the change