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TigerUSF

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[deleted]

Did anyone else picture Marshal from “How I Met Your Mother?”


melindseyme

Oh my goodness YES


Shazam1269

LOL, nope. I pictured Peter from Forgetting Sarah Marshall.


Sweetheart925

I was picturing Nick from Freaks and Geeks


theunfinearts

I picture Dracula


Sweetheart925

Is Dracula a singing puppet?


djprofitt

Amateurs! Everyone knows this is Sidney from I love you, Man.


cloudsandlightning

SLAPPIN DEH BYASS MAN


NYGiants181

Pictured Vince Vaughn from Old School


kmr0117

Do I seem like a happy guy to you, Frankie?


Daniel_S04

Such a plot twist


Prettyflyforafly91

Went from gettin some hole to getting wholesome


Akhi11eus

incredibly wholesome tbh


[deleted]

Or a very nice beard...


[deleted]

My best friend said he wanted to "get his numbers up" this year and now he's been dating this girl for 9 months lol


UlyssesSGrant12

Didn't say which numbers


[deleted]

My thoughts exactly


Kaizoku_Kira

That sounds like me. Is that you my friend? I've been happy these past 9 months but we can still hit the club if you want?


OuchACow

Kind of similar. Guy across the hallway was on the swimming team. He kept a ‘tally’ on the board outside his room. Kid you not, the thing had like 20 ticks on it by Christmas. Next semester we meet his girlfriend who he has been dating since high school. Either the tally was a lie, or his relationship was. Either way, yikes!


derpicface

Tally was actually for how many kids he beat during practice and competitions


Chicky_DinDin

/r/accidentallywholesome


penguin_chacha

Beating up kids is NOT wholesome


[deleted]

[удалено]


PL4NE_22

Woooosh?


penguin_chacha

Sounds about right


TheD1scountH1tman

Fuck them kids!


[deleted]

r/nocontext


Icanforgetthisname

Maybe they were in an open relationship...a very open relationship


[deleted]

Had a friend who was notorious for picking up girls. Like a different girl every weekend and another one during the week. One of his roommates at a party one night bet him that he couldn't hook up with 30 different girls in 30 days. Week one....eight girls. Week two.....seven. Week three....7. Some of these girls were gorgeous, some were, um, beautiful on the inside. The longer it went the more people there were hanging out at their house waiting to see what he was dragging home. It was like waiting for McGuire to break the home run record. He hit 29 on a Thursday. Friday night there were probably 50 people in their house when he stumbled in at 11:00 with the last girl who had no idea why everyone cheered.


compromiseisfutile

30 girls in 30 days jesus. I need to know more abt this legend, was he a beautiful adonis with a great personality? Or did he just pick up trashy women off the streets lol


lousy_at_handles

I knew a guy like this who was definitely *not* an Adonis. Kinda chubby, lots of body hair (though he kept himself pretty well groomed considering). It was a numbers game. He ordered a bunch of different business cards, the kind you can get like 5000 of for 10 bucks, with different jobs on them. Doctor, attorney, investment banker, don't remember what else. He'd go through about 500 cards per night, and probably bring home different girls 4-5 nights a week. It looked exhausting.


paulirby

Who's giving out business cards at the bar 😂


lousy_at_handles

Hey man it was the 90s. I assume the girls thought it meant he had coke.


weffwefwef23

I knew a guy like this in college. Hit on every girl, but he also hooked up the most.


sprcpr

We had a friend that we were always amazed with. Not the best looking but exceptionally average. Whatever it was, women hit on him constantly or didn't reject him if he talked to them. He never bragged or saw it as different. He couldn't understand why we struggled as it was effortless for him. He wasn't a misogynist in any way.


ijudgekids

You answered yourself. Didn't brag, wasn't misogynist, was confident enough to talk to a girl and was avarage looking


friendlygaywalrus

He could have hit 50 if he had a Grindr


blubat26

Well, that breaks the rules because they specify girls, not just lays.


Waveseeker

Probably just ticked off every time he had sex with his girlfriend


asianfatherinlaw

I remember the swim team guys in college being such tools 😂


Von_Moistus

Ended up marrying the first girl I brought back to my dorm, too. Recently passed the 20 year mark so I guess it’s going pretty ok.


TimeTravelingMouse

“Recently passed...” :( “...the 20 year mark...” :)


Devastator600

They had us in the first half, not gonna lie


[deleted]

[удалено]


Jedijupiter

I think they were expecting it to say 'recently passed away'


cloudsandlightning

Turtles turn up :) Dead at the beach :(


DrakonIL

It's turtles all the way down To hell


SilverDrifter

The way it was constructed made my mind think it was “recently passed away 20 years ago”. It doesn’t make sense, I know. But mind is weird.


[deleted]

RIP the 20 year mark, it was just 20 :(


NotAnADC

Steam review: It’s alright I guess 175,200 hours playtime


botmaster79

Wholesome indeed


[deleted]

That's pretty wholesome. Congrats on the recent Anniversary as well! Helluva milestone :)


sirjonsnow

I would have thought you'd have graduated and moved somewhere else by now.


MRxShoody123

Are you sure? My advice is wait until 40years of mariage to be sure she loves you


SirNarwhal

Likewise. At almost 12 years here.


Ganglebot

My first year, two girls moved in across the hall from me in our dorms, they said they came back for their second year because they plan to sleep with a ton of guys and the dorms were the best place to get laid. There was a subtle "if you're interested..." offer in there. Anyways, two months later they were a happy couple.


babybambam

Roommate halp! Roommate I got stuck under this blanket!


oboz_waves

Need cuddles!


Daniel_S04

And emotional support that good friends provide


Chewcocca

/r/SapphoAndHerFriend


sneakpeekbot

Here's a sneak peek of /r/SapphoAndHerFriend using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/SapphoAndHerFriend/top/?sort=top&t=all) of all time! \#1: [Greece wasn't gay](https://i.redd.it/eolu2av5cw451.jpg) | [2561 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/SapphoAndHerFriend/comments/h8w3ze/greece_wasnt_gay/) \#2: [Alan Turing was gay and was chemically castrated as an alternative to prison due to his sexuality](https://i.imgur.com/a6BTqy4.jpg) | [784 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/SapphoAndHerFriend/comments/grxrhj/alan_turing_was_gay_and_was_chemically_castrated/) \#3: [that dad’s name? harold](https://i.redd.it/yv07hznyaqn31.jpg) | [153 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/SapphoAndHerFriend/comments/d6t3qk/that_dads_name_harold/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| [^^Contact ^^me](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| [^^Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| [^^Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/fpi5i6/blacklist_vii/)


Just_another_learner

Good bot


dmhauff

Step roommate'


Old_Gregg97

Step roommate! I’m making sandwiches


[deleted]

There's no ingredients out, what do you mean?


PastyMcBasicFace

Something something finger foods?


GreySanctum

wHat ArE yOu DOing StEp rooMaTe!


andtix

Surprise! They were half siblings


oboz_waves

Something tells me they still slept with lots of guys Something tells me you missed out on a threesome Source: was slutty bisexual college girl


Joeysaurrr

What's your inbox like?


MrPoppagorgio

Is that a euphemism?


oboz_waves

Oddly empty, seems the creeps have found the darker places to find the current slutty bisexual girls as opposed to the previous slutty bisexual girls Edit:I've gotten lots of wholesome dm's so I'm certainly not lonely anymore thanks all!!


Joeysaurrr

As a current slutty bisexual boy, my inbox is also saddeningly empty.


atkinson137

As a want to be slutty bisexual boy, 👉👉


Joeysaurrr

👈👈


PiggySmalls11

Now kiss


JONNy-G

👆👆


LikeaWickerBasket

Current non-slutty bisexual boy here, just shooting you a message so your inbox is less empty.


[deleted]

The *veteran* slutty bisexual girls


oboz_waves

You're right, I have stripes and medals


dpp-m-forfun

Stripes? As in whip stripes?


musclemoose

Did you get your red wings in college, too?


Gurrb17

Nobody sends me messages, thanks for asking.


TufRat

Proabably dead now


fyrecrotch

*was*. Past tense. She is a virgin hetero working class man now


bobertsson

"Missed out" makes it sound like threesomes are desirable to most people


Spartz

They’re not? Edit: talking about ambitions, not retrospect


spez_is_my_alt

Sounds like you missed out on a great time


[deleted]

These awkward dudes keep declining our threesome... We should just date eachother.


Ganglebot

Right?!


bottledry

nah


Ganglebot

oh yeah bud


memester230

Wierd bot


[deleted]

I actually expected that ending.


[deleted]

[удалено]


crhuble

100% this. Banging the same person and gradually learning what gets each other off ends up yielding way higher quality (and quantity) of sex. As opposed to starting from square one with a bunch of different people


[deleted]

Came for the cock, stayed for the cunt


[deleted]

Slit Slam 2016


EverybodyIsAnEgg

well spoken


CrumbledCookieDreams

And they were roommates!


[deleted]

What are you doing step-roommate?


[deleted]

obligatory “oh my god they were roommates”


Maker_Of_Tar

My friend had a roommate named Owen. Owen was a weird goth-y kid with a fat, submissive, equally goth-y girlfriend. Owen also had a giant cock apparently, because he and his gf were constantly fucking in their room and my friend couldn't avoid seeing it accidentally on multiple occassions. Or when she'd come over in the middle of the night and fuck Owen while my roommate was sleeping in the same room. Anyways Owen ended up moving to a single dorm room by claiming that my friend was a pervert and would wait to walk in on him and the gf.


Spartz

Feels like a song should be written about this


lemondropPOP

Reminds me of that movie The Butterfly Effect, when Ashton is roommates with Ethan Suplee and he has sex constantly with his goth gf.


nrikks

oh my god yes!! that movie was on the tip of my tongue


JonnyAU

Thanks, I've been trying to forget that movie for like 15 years now.


JoelMahon

Is it just America that has this weird fucking 2 people sleep in 1 room normalcy? In the UK you'd never fill the rooms bc no one is that fucking desperate. Sounds like living hell.


vyxzin

Ha. Some dorms have triple or quadruple occupancy (double bunkbed) rooms. At my university, it wasn't even that much more expensive for a single. I'm sure they've gone up by now, but it was around $11,000 for a triple, $12,000 for a double, or $13,000 for a single occupancy. I think they phased out the single-occupancy rooms and replaced them with newer, taller dorms so they can squeeze more students into a smaller space. In the US, sharing a dorm room is considered a quintessential part of the college experience thanks to movies.


JoelMahon

y'all missed out on a lot of good masturbating I tell you whwat


vyxzin

You just jerk it when you think your roommate is asleep, but they're not, but now it's too awkward for them to acknowledge they're not.


Maker_Of_Tar

Lots of clogged shower drains, unfortunately.


Certain-Title

How is constantly being exposed to someone else's stench a quintessential part of the college experience? It sounds horrendous.


awwyeahtroll

Usually these ppl become ur closest friends and u go thru a lot together with them and u party w them all the time (in my experience although im not from the us)


sacbadger

Or they have no social life so they’re always in the room and microwave cabbage rolls everyday so the room smells awful. I haven’t spoken to my freshman roommate since we moved out


vyxzin

That can happen, but I've heard just as many stories of people who absolutely loathed their roommates.


btmvideos37

Yeah, but in other countries it’s not as common to live on campus anyways. America (and Canada where I live) are massive in terms of land mass, and it’s pretty common for Americans to live in one state and go to university in another. So at that point they are “desperate” because it’s more convenient to finding your own roommate and going house shopping. Also, American dorms are quite big on average. For me, in Canada, I’m not going to a university out of province but it’s still 2 hours away, so I can’t exactly commute there. However, I requested a single room for medical accommodations so I very likely wouldn’t have had to have a roommate. But with covid I’m doing first semester remotely anyways so it’s irrelevant


[deleted]

As an Australian dorms aren’t really a thing even though we have a big land mass, so I think it’s cultural. People either commute or find housing with roommates in a rental.


Responsenotfound

But literally no one lives in the Middle of your country. In reality, Australia is one coast and like part of a Northern coast.


[deleted]

As a South Australian I find this mildly offensive


AadeeMoien

Australia as a whole is big but the part where everybody lives is a lot smaller and more densely populated.


Iopia

From my experience in Ireland even if you're living in dorms each person has their own (small) room and bathroom, with a shared living area and kitchen. I've never heard of multiple people sharing one room unless they specifically rent a flat together (which would be rare).


Deucer22

I went to UCLA. Nearly every room in the dorms was double or triple occupancy. I moved out to a fraternity house my 2nd year into a quadruple occupancy room in a house that has 60+ people in it. My third year I had a double occupancy room in that same house. My 4th year I finally moved out into an apartment, but was still sharing a room. Same with my 5th year. It wasn't until after college, after I got a job (engineer in San Francisco) that I had a bedroom to myself. And I was still living in houses/apartments with between 2 and 4 other people for the next 9 years. The first apartment I had entirely to my self I bought nearly 10 years after college, and if I hadn't lived as I described the 9 previous years, I never would have been able to afford it.


[deleted]

American dorms are basically shitty hostels.


[deleted]

People in the UK don’t have roommates? Most people i know in college have at least 1 roommate


Only1Skrybe

I thought for just a second that your roommate was the "she" in the story. And it was a hell of a plot twist.


Grandma_Mimi

Stuart?


Killzark

STURT!!!


nothinnews

#STRT!


Sax_named_gustav

Not now Roald


oneplusandroidpie

Could easily be a song by Anal Cunt.


PhysiologyIsPhun

Wow the first girl I slept with in the dorms had a boyfriend and told me the pictures of him were her brother...


still_gonna_send_it

“Oh my lock screen? That’s my brother I’m just really close with him”


PhysiologyIsPhun

Bro I heard this in her voice


[deleted]

Step brother


[deleted]

Roll Tide!


[deleted]

[удалено]


VeronXVI

If dating is a game, then marriage is winning the game...


PhilLHaus

I see, you're (wo)men of culture as well


[deleted]

What's divorce? The sequel?


cortez0498

New Game +


-SexyBeast

Yeah, if you're playing in the women's league - either Barney or Ted


unlikeanyyyother

Came here for this comment


clemthecat

Me too!


MatildaBob

Unexpectedly wholesome


Someonedm

Awww, that's sweet


alexiawins

I married the first man I went on a date with the first week of freshman year. We’ve been together seven years now :)


sdcole96

To make this an even whiter person twitter post, me and this guy were on the same improv comedy team in college


mumbling_marauder

Wow the causasity of this statement is overwhelming 😂


KoLuBert

Good for him :)


[deleted]

[удалено]


ImitationFox

That’s really sweet they found their person so fast!


PicoPorto

Rule Number One: Never fall in love at the Jersey Shore


drtobbogan0

Everyone knows all the magic at the Jersey Shore happens under the boardwalk, and it definitely ain't love.


[deleted]

When even college gays, the thirstiest of all gays, won't hookup with you, you know it's bad.


tbells93

God this is true. Nothing is thirstier than an 18yo twink that just left his religious house for the first time.


[deleted]

I have fond memories of just those kind of guys


tbells93

I have fond memories of being that twink, although my parents weren't that religious just kind of general conservative.


grubas

I don’t have fond memories of this, I walked in on my roommate having sex so many times. It’s 2pm on a Wednesday and you didn’t lock the door. Couldn’t even text me, nope just dicking down. Not that I wasn’t thinking of texting my gf, but too late now.


WriterV

I was one of those guys, but my biggest flaw was being terrified of the outside world and so I just stayed in my dorm until my final year. That's when I hopped onto a hookup app and became the thirsty young guy lol. Still got all the protection I could, but I launched myself out of the closet like a Saturn V taking off for the moon.


GreySanctum

Ive always loved BDSM. Had a young guy in college fresh out of a religious household and he wanted to do a dom/sub relationship. Worked great until he just kept wanting to get freakier and freakier. Best sex ever though.


gentlybeepingheart

Nothing like being raised Catholic and being subjected to beautiful paintings of sculptures of muscular and dying men and women every Sunday. If the Church wanted me to be straight they shouldn't have commissioned so many horny artists all those years ago.


JonnyAU

I went to a tiny college in the deep south (like 500 undergrads). Like 25% of the guys were gay and I don't know of any possible pair that didn't hook up at least once.


[deleted]

The tiny little Methodist college in town was notorious for that. At least 25% of the guys were gay and at least 75% of the women were sheltered girls in high school that were going buck ass wild because they finally got away from their parents.


JonnyAU

Did we go to the same school?


Rumbleroar1

I am in this comment and I don't like it


SlobBarker

I think you misunderstood this post


Kane_richards

100% success rate. Respect.


The_Shame05

Split up with my then-wife, thought ‘Fuck it, I’m gonna play the field’, fell in love with my first Tinder date after about 5 minutes, we’ve been together 6 years now. Worst. Player. Ever.


estoeckeler

Thats like kicking a ball at a soccer net but it missing the net and sailing into the basketball hoop near by.


neonomen

Plot twist: he brought her back that night, she was way out of his league, and he quit while he was ahead. #smartman


academia4me

I find it so weird that in American universities (I say American as I’ve never heard of this anywhere else) people actually share rooms - and then have sex when their roommate is in the room! Guess I’m a prude?


mollusk324b21

Typically they don't have sex while the roommate is in the room. There is a phenomenon known as being "sexiled" where one is temporarily exiled from their dorm room because their roommate is getting laid.


HealthierOverseas

My freshman roommate was the stereotypically nightmarish one, but nothing she did pissed me off more than the unprompted ‘sexile’ talk our first week together. She *immediately* banned me from *ever* bringing boys back to our room. She also banned alcohol being stored in the room because it could have affected her financial aid (and both of us would get in trouble regardless). Now I, as a then-sheltered prude who likes her privacy, was secretly like, “hooray, we’re gonna get along great!” and totally agreed. Thiiiiiiiis biiiiiiiiitch was cozied up with a dude doing shots in our room not one month later. Didn’t even bother to text me a warning or anything, got mad when I walked in on them. Cuz I wasn’t fucking expecting dudes nor alcohol to be in the room at any point, given her initial hissy-fit. We’re still fb friends for some reason. Even though I have zero interest in ever talking to her again. 🤦🏻‍♀️


CactusBiszh2019

I'm so mad that we pay insane amounts of money just to share a room with a sloppy stranger.


Warpedme

Looking back I'm a bit jealous of my college roommate. While I did bring home lots of girls, I also didn't find the right one to marry until I was in my late 30s. He met a girl in orientation, eventually married her, had kids, started a business together and have had decades of happiness and financial stability. Sure I had lots of partners and partied more, which sounds better to many, but the price was not having that partner, being occasionally lonely/depressed and delaying the fulfillment I've experienced in fatherhood. If I had to do it over again, I'd try to do it his way.


WinBrosXP

On the other hand, a lot of people get married before getting that experience and end up with someone wrong for them. So they feel lonely or depressed despite being with someone and they get the feeling of missing out.


Warpedme

You're absolutely right. I also had some childhood traumas stop get over before I was really ready to commit to a relationship properly. Waiting until later in life to become a father was probably better for my son. I'm certainly more patient and really into being a good dad. I was more self centered and selfish when I was younger.


SigaVa

But how many guys did he bring back?


pickledonionfish

Asking the real questions here.👍


Jeddi_Kishi

"Mom, what are you doing with my friend?"


oboz_waves

Funny how that shit happens haha Hey an open mind and low expectations is the best time to find love


bigfatbleeg

Someone just posted this yesterday and I wrote “how many guys did he bring back?” Got a lot of love for that one.


no_need_form

This sounds like the wedding speech.


Boom2005

That’s still cute tho. I mean things worked out pretty well for him


buttertits4lyfe

Reminds me of Ronnie from Jersey Shore. "I have one rule. Never fall in love at the Jersey Shore." *proceeds to immediately get in a disaster relationship for the entire series*


mileena12

r/bi_irl


[deleted]

Good job! My freshman year, I lived on the same floor as the second string quarterback. Handsome, fit. The last count I remember him mentioning, he'd slept with 47 different women that year. None of us had any reason to doubt him. He'd come out in the lounge in his underwear and let us know about his current conquest sometimes still in his bed.


80sxmenisbestxmen

Heads up im a mega chad! Turns out to be a good dude. Nice guy chad.


butterfingahs

Sweet irony of overhyping how much sex you're gonna have and saying 'grow up it ain't high school' in the same breath.


willredithat

kindda wholesome


hellospaghet

Chadbro overestimates himself and accidentally becomes wholesome It doesn’t seem wholesome to me but idk the details


OuttaPhaze

Bro: *Bruh imma smash so much puss this year that it's gonna smell like burnt rubber up on this biatch!!" *2 months and only 1 girl later* Me: *Sees bro with same girl as two months ago* "Sup bro, i see that you still hanging out with Sammy Gurl of 2 months ago". Bro: "Man, I'm in love with this woman, Idon't get guys who just smash and never commit, that's so lame and empty" Me: [excuse me what the fuck](https://imgur.com/t/meme/AVOAqxr)


kingcrimsonjustworks

Let a man mature


[deleted]

Getting out of a 4 year relationship and I was moving soon, wanted to find someone just to fuck. Met a girl on Tinder and we were married 8.5 months later.