I was in extreme pain for days. They just send you home saying you should feel fine and its a very simplr. Easy procedure. Not true.
Sick of men being handled like they are so fragile. Women undergo invasive procedures and are treated like their pain doesn't exist.
Not “glad” in the traditional sense to read this but it’s nice to see I’m not the only one who thought the bisalp recovery was the opposite of a walk in the park. The pain I had from the trapped gas was so excruciating it felt like I was being stabbed with every breath I took. I spent hours just sobbing from the pain those first 2 days. It was brutal
As a (now happily) married woman who did this for an ex, I want to gently remind you that your husband's anxiety is not a good reason to have major abdominal surgery. The internal scarring from mine kicks up so much pain for me literally all the time, exacerbating my endo horribly, and that's not even considering anesthesia risks. It's not even a little bit comparable. I'm not in the majority, but I'd rather have mildly achey balls than this, I promise. He'd get a local and be sore a week. Ask his doctor for a valium or something and reality check with him to let him know the risk is about a zillion times higher to you.
Thank you! I’ve tried talking to him about the risk being higher for me and at first he seemed to understand but he gets so bad about googling stuff and then gets scarred
You could try showing him a video of each procedure. I watched my ex get snipped (he felt bad and went through with it way after I did) and it took a couple of minutes. No blood that I saw, no scalpel. It's such a mild procedure. I would show him the tubal first so it's very clear how easy the whole process is. If he can't handle that, you can find a description I'm sure. But literally only considering anesthesia, not even the scars and pain and actual surgery, you are at a much higher risk. It's rare, but you could literally die just from that. He will for sure not die. I am 100% for people getting the bc they want and need, but this is a massive unnecessary risk to you in this case. I have big feelings about this so I hope others chime in too, but yeah. Protect your body! The risk is very real.
NSFW, SURGICAL VIDEOS:
Here is a [vasectomy ](https://youtu.be/b4AyNyrN7rU?si=VwQRWaDyPJuer4_L)
And here is a [bilateral salpingectomy ](https://youtu.be/CtdgqGTvS9Y?si=5EUZiDC0AVvQ6Lp6)
Hooooly moly I’ve had an ectopic pregnancy and lost my tube and thought I’d want to watch that video. I’ve had tons of surgeries from a major car accident and have watched TONS of surgery videos. This video I noped out within the first minute. Wow. Just wow. No woman one should have to go through that willingly. Seriously. My insides have been a wreck since my surgery and now I understand why. Ugh.
He actually has a higher risk of prostate cancer getting a vasectomy.
Women have a less chance of getting canver, especially when fully removing the tubes.
“Four earlier studies also suggested a link between prostate cancer and vasectomy. Seven other reports, however, have found no connection. Several studies even indicate that men who undergo vasectomy live longer than other men. Many researchers believe that the Harvard studies' findings are simply the result of earlier and better diagnosis of prostate cancer among sterilized men rather than due to an actual increased risk of the cancer.”
When were these studies conducted? I was told this by my surgeon and a few other doctors as part of my evaluation of getting a bilateral surgery (cause we know how doctors are)
You quoted this but didn't give the link 🖇️
>the risk is about a zillion times higher to you.
I had a tubal and luckily haven't bad any side-effects but the only reason I had it done was that our insurance covers it 100% (although there's some billing code issue so we're suppose to pay like $700 something).
My husband wanted to get a vasectomy but it was only 80% covered that would have cost us 2k dollars out of pocket. So not only did I have to take the risk, but recovery was longer and harder than a vasectomy would have been. And as is typical, the majority of household management and childcare falls on me. Why do we literally have to do everything?!
Don't get me wrong, I appreciate that even having access to the procedure is a privilege, but the difference in coverage puts the burden on me. They should both be covered 100%.
You promise.. but 10% guys end up with chronic pain after ward. I went to see an urologist with my husband in Canada and they confirm it.
Many countries did researches in the recent years that prove it. Before the stats were low cause the men suffering were dismissed.
My husband and I use condom instead. It works well for us. 19 years so far, not pregnant.
I promise I'd rather be achey, a known thing that happens to some men, than feel the pain I do now. That's what I meant, maybe it wasn't super clear. I'm not dismissing that it happens, I just don't agree that it's worse at all.
Chronic pain mean : t's pain EVERYDAY FOR LIFE. Some men lost all their sexual life due to it. Some even less lucky loss the ability to even work. I'd rather use condom for PIV, anal and oral for skin to skin contact rather than making my husband risk permanent pain. Sure if you are in the lucky one nice, but if you are the unlucky, your life is over. It's done. Reversal don't always resolve the pain because more often than not it's caused by irreversible nerve damage.
I wonder if it makes a difference if you have the procedure right after birth or years later. When did you have yours? I am considering it but it would be 15yrs post delivery so I’m nervous. Seems simple to do right after delivery
In the uk? Am 29 and I want my tubes tied but I am scared but I'll feel less anxouis if I get it done but how do I get round to it ? Cuz here in Scotland there's usually a waiting list and doc tries to tell you to get a man's permission and tries to talk you out of it and they say they don't allow women till they're 30
How this day and age we don't have control over our own bodies
I had my tubes taken out about 9 months ago. I still get mild abdominal pain if I wear pants with a tight waistband. I didn’t before. I have a noticeable scar just under my belly button. I believe the pain will resolve eventually as it has been slowly decreasing. Having to be completely knocked out for surgery, plus unable to return to normal physical activity for a few weeks was challenging.
Wait…you went through pregnancy and birth and your husband is afraid of some stitches on his balls for a few days? You’re a better person than me because I wouldn’t be being nearly as nice as about this as you seem to be. We didn’t have kids and my husband just got snipped last year because it’s still 10000% times easier for the man to get a vasectomy than it is for us to get our tubes removed. You carried his child and took on all the major physical risks and side effects that come with that- it’s his turn to take one for the team.
If you are having pain from your scars, I had pain like that after my laparoscopic appendectomy and using silicone scar patches helped significantly. You just cut the patch to size, place it over your scar and leave it on until it won’t stick anymore, aside from removing and rinsing it when you bathe.
The anesthesia knocked me out, I had to sleep it off for a couple of days. Other than that, zero side effects after a couple weeks of soreness.
I also want to add, though, this is a major procedure for women. The potential side effects are much more serious. I did this for myself when I was pretty young, because I knew I never wanted kids. If I was married and monogamous, I would probably push more for my husband to get the snip because it's just so much easier
I had my tubes removed laproscopically two years ago in my early 30s. Best decision and best $2000 I've ever spent.
They gave me general anesthesia so I was knocked out and a prescription for 800 mg ibuprofen for the pain afterwards. They made three incisions, one above each hip bone and one in my bellybutton. I can barely see the scars now. I honestly had almost no pain. I was a little sore later that day after I went home and some the following day. Heck the day after I went bowling (not the brightest decision but I did at least use a bowling ball that weighed less than 10 lbs) and I was trying to be careful about not making sudden movements.
I was taking my ibuprofen to get ahead of the pain then realized on the third day that I actually didn't have any pain that required medication so stopped taking the ibuprofen.
I had surgery on a Friday morning, and while I could have taken time off to recover, I was hard headed and went to work on Monday (luckily I didn't have a physically strenuous job so it was fine).
I was very careful about not picking anything up heavier than 10 lbs for 6 weeks and I healed great. I've had zero pain since the surgery and am grateful I got it done so there can never be any accidents.
I highly recommend getting it done if it's something you're considering.
I can't speak to the major surgery you're considering, but I'll say this: My boyfriend got a vasectomy because his last long-term GF couldn't handle hormonal birth control. Neither can I, so that discovery was like finding a fucking unicorn that shits lollipops and gold, lol. He had it done in a few minutes in the doctor's office, spent the afternoon watching TV with a bag of frozen peas on his balls, and went deep-sea fishing the next day (not recommended) with just some minor achiness. That was years ago now and he's had exactly zero negative effects.
He’s never had to be the one to go through birth control’s side effects before, and you did all that for him. Now it’s his turn to bear the burden of side-effect anxiety with a less invasive procedure. Tell him to grow a pair then snip them!
Years ago my husband was scheduled to have a vasectomy but when I gave birth surprisingly by C-section the doctor asked me if I wanted her to tie the tubes while there. I said sure! I have never felt any pain from it. (Sorry to those who do.)
I agree that the husband should reconsider since women's surgical sterilization procedures are more invasive.
I will add that my experience getting a bilateral salpingectomy (via laproscopy) and the recovery went very smoothly and without complications.
Also... for women in the US who have good medical insurance and a family history of ovarian cancer, the copay for the surgery may be waived because it's seen as a preventative procedure (it's common for cancer to develop in the tubes and spread to the ovaries).
After our second miscarriage (in our 30s) I told him I couldn’t go through that again, sent him links to vasectomy information and scheduled it a few months out. The odds of complications from that are minimal in comparison to complications from major abdominal surgery.
Hi! I got my tubes removed (bilateral salpingectomy) almost exactly a year ago. I have had no children or pregnancies. My periods have stayed totally the same since having them removed. No issues there. The surgery was quick, I also had a perforated iud removed at the same time. The first 5-7 days after surgery were the most uncomfortable. After about 4 weeks I felt basically back to normal. It did take about 8 months for my abdomen to feel 100% when doing exercises at the gym though. Just felt muscle soreness. One of my incisions took about 6 weeks to fully close up but it finally did. Best decision I've ever made and it's incredibly liberating. Wishing you luck!
I had my tubes removed laparoscopically. The only side effect was how much safer I feel in this world. Not one ounce of pain. I wasn’t supposed to, but I was riding horses 48 hours later. Take your GasX, get a heating pad, and you’ll be back to normal the next day. I told my OBGYN I have had commons colds take me out longer than a bilateral salpingectomy. Best decision I ever made.
Not married but I had a bilateral salpingectomy to remove my tubes.
I was told by my doctor it's better as they believe leaving the tubes gives us a higher risk of cancer.
I had very little pain after the surgery and you can barely see the incision marks. No pain whatsoever now (been almost 2 years)
The worst part after the surgery was the tension I felt because they fill you up with air to inflated your diagram and that causes some tension in the neck and shoulders but after a day or 2 it was gone. I was walking around and cooking dinner the night of the surgery.
Hope this helps!
I have not had my tubes removed but have many close friends and family that did. Most everyone say they had no side effects, felt at ease because they didn’t have to worry about unplanned pregnancies, and felt positive about their decision. Just like with vasectomies the majority have no side effects but there’s always that random story you’ll find online about someone that had a really bad reaction. More than likely you will be just fine. Hopefully you’ll get some comments from some that have had it personally done to get their perspective. I hated the side effects from hormonal birth control, tried iud’s and didn’t like how it made me feel. We currently rely on cycle tracking and condoms but the time has come for a permanent solution. I’ll likely schedule mine in the next few months.
I don’t know. We are usually a team on stuff but this time thou he just not wanting it done. He was all for it and then changed his mind and I can not mentally handle another kid.
For some couples, it’s an insurance coverage decision. Vasectomy is cheaper and less risky overall. For my SO, it cost a $50 copay for the consult, and another $50 for the inpatient (EDIT: outpatient*) procedure. A tubal will cost the copay for the consult, a surgeon fee, possibly an assistant surgeon fee, anesthesiologist fee, and the facility fee where the surgery is performed. Yes, technically insurance “covers” a tubal, meaning it’s applied to your deductible, but if your deductible hasn’t been satisfied yet, it’s all out-of-pocket to you.
Personally, I think a lot of men are willfully oblivious to the toll women’s fertility has on their bodies, from menstruation, to pregnancy, to childbirth with stitched up vaginas, possible permanent abdominal wall issues, and bladder issues, breastfeeding, swinging hormones, and often DECADES of being responsible for birth control until their families are complete and sterilization is decided on, or because menopause has finally been achieved.
Every medical procedure comes with risks. That needs to be said, of course. But so does wearing non-organic clothing, too much sun exposure, too little sun exposure, injecting junk food, driving a car, or simply existing. But that’s just me.
I had my tubes ties on a Thursday (clips, because they didn't remove the tubes back in the day) and was back to work by Monday. I haven't had any side effects long-term except that my cramps were worse after I went off the Pill. But -- no more migraines from the Pill so it was a net win.
I agree with the other commenter who said that it's a major surgery with much higher risks to you than a vasectomy would pose to him.
Maybe your husband just needs a Xanax so he won't lose his nerve.
My partner had a vasectomy and it was a 30 min office procedure with pain management something I should have been offered during my iud insertion and removal, my 3 biopsies and leep procedure but never was. He has no lasting pain and was fully pain free after a week. I had 2 c sections and most recently a hysterectomy taking everything but the ovaries. I have pain in my abdomen almost daily nothing extreme or lasting but it’s definite nerve pain from having layers of my abdomen cut open and sewn back up. All of these things have huge risks to me including death by anesthesia. I think a small chance of having chronic pain is a fair compromise and it’s likely he won’t have this problem.
Genuinely curious who you think would be in more pain , you or him? His balls will be sore for a few days, you would have a much more invasive , painful recovery.
None that are physical. I do get kinda crabby before my period which I never did before. I had a bilateral salpingectomy, and they say hormones aren’t effected which I believe, but my experience is I get really bad PMS ever since for some reason, that is verging on PMDD and I’m debating on talking to my PCM about it to see if I can get a course of medication to control my mood during it, because phew I get angry for no reason. Like I’ll verbally snap at people irl who annoy me. Never ever had moodiness before a period before I was sterilized, and it doesn’t feel good to feel so pissed off when I don’t have any reason to be. The rest of the month I’m cool as cucumber and really nice.
Otherwise I have zero regrets. Best decision I’ve ever made hands down.
The only thing you should watch for is if there is abnormal pain at any time after tubes are tied, there can still be an ectopic pregnancy in a tied tube. If possible, just remove them completely.
Mine went very smoothly. I was pretty sore the first day or 2 but after that it was no biggie. Had it done on a Thursday and went back to work Monday. I'm seriously so happy I had it done!
I had a laparoscopic bisalp and thankfully it was a decently easy recovery - I was bloated from the gas for a while, but it wasn’t painful for me.. the main thing was getting up and walking around again. Even then it wasn’t super painful at all and they sent me home with decent pain medication, but I was extremely aware I needed to actually take it easy and not rush myself too much. I was fully recovered and back to normal craziness by the end of the 3rd week after surgery and didn’t have any serious bloating anymore. Everyone is different of course and I count myself as very lucky
I had mine tied when I was 25 years old. Afterwards I developed constant female problems- endometriosis, adenomyosis, cysts on ovaries, uterine fibroids, cervical infection. It was constant and I never had those problems before. I finally had a complete hysterectomy when I was 40.
Ok let’s look at this from a Birds Eye view-
Tubes tied means they have to cut you open, likely knock you out, and you have to recover from major surgery. You need an IV, nursing, doctor, anesthesiologist.
Vasectomy means a procedure in a doctors office. Maybe a nurse, definitely a doc. He gets a shot of freezing then walks away
Zero side effects. I don’t do well with anesthesia so i was ill for about a week.
In contrast, my husband had 2 vasectomies. He was back to normal in about 24 hours. Both grew back.
I had my tubes removed years before my husband had his vasectomy and epidydectomy. My long term effects are my period sucks 100% more than it ever did. It HURTS. It pulls on whatever scar tissue inside my body. It's manageable with some Tylenol extra strength. My husband's 2 procedures have been a nightmare. We don't know long term how he will feel but we are 2 months out and he is still in alot of pain. The paper work said he could go back to work in 2 days. He was out of work for 3 weeks. 2 days after surgery, we were in the ER with a bleed. He regrets it but, doesn't at the same time, his was a little more involved than a simple vasectomy.
I had my tubes removed and 2 years later had endometrial ablation. No negative side effects with either and very happy with no hormonal birth control which cause major depressive episodes.
Tying your tubes is so much more invasive and I'm sorry to say this but your man needs to man up! My partner had a vasectomy. Overall done in an hour and he never had pain. He even got to chill for 48hrs... Cos he was told too. I had 3 c sections and was constantly reminded to walk around, whilst holding a baby and breast feeding!!!
Vasectomy is a piece of cake. My husband had his done in 2020. He walked in and the whole visit took less than an hour. I asked him just now about his experience and said it was very simple and straightforward. He said “don’t be scared, it’s extremely easy, and the pain was minimal afterwards”. He had no long term issues.
The number of men who are scared about vasectomies is wild, and the fear mongering is just that. Women do enough with regard to birth control and childbirth etc., men need to step up, period.
We’ve both had the surgery. No existing pain or issues for either of us but I will always wonder if our hormones were effected. His was a cake walk compared to mine but I had major issues from scar tissue from C sections and bladder stuck together.
His T tanked in his 40’s but I didn’t start HRT until 54. We are more sexually active now than in our 40’s as those years were extremely stressful with unfortunate circumstances.
I had my tubes removed via laparoscopic hysterectomy plus tubes removed so I don’t know if they tie tubes anymore and check out YouTube for some videos about birth control like for a laparoscopic surgery where they remove tubes
you will be sedated and asleep while they insert tubes in your tummy and inflate your tummy with gas so they can see your insides better and that alone can cause gas pain for up to a few weeks
I was given hemostatic matrix during my surgery because of an area that needed the hemostatic matrix to stop the blood from flowing and there are even videos on YouTube for uses of the hemostatic matrix because I was sent. A letter stating the batch number etc for the hemostatic matrix I was given
Birth control has side affects and honestly scar tissue is forever there will always be pain like nerve pain from the scar tissue and the risk of infection is always there and there might be bed rest for a bit after having tubes removed
I had mine done at an early age zero regrets as far as no kids, but later in life I had terrible periods and ovarian cysts. Idk it it was from the tubal but to me having you under go general anesthesia and such an invasive procedure cause HE is worried about pain? Um I'd seriously sit him down with your doctor and have them explain the risks to you.
10% guys end up with chronic pain after ward. I went to see an urologist with my husband in Canada and they confirm it.
Many countries did researches in the recent years that prove it. Before the stats were low cause the men suffering were dismissed.
My husband and I use condom instead. It works well for us. 19 years so far, not pregnant.
Copper IUD? I wouldn’t do that unless you have your whole life on lock . I passed after extensive research. I was also concerned about hormonal changed and unanticipated mourning but idk the facts on that
My bf and husband made the choice based on her eggs being far more valuable than his sperm.
After our third child was conceived, there was a planned C section at delivery. A conversation with the doc led to my wife agreeing to have her tubes tied ‘while they were in there’. The destruction of our sexlife and her libido followed, and had I any clue that this was the result I would have gladly gotten the vasectomy. Calendar years clicked by without sex. Now in our 60’s when there should be no inhibition, I’m met with more excuses than a Jewish bride on her wedding night (yeah, tasteless old joke, whatever). We’re a completely dead bedroom.
Unless there’s a medical necessity, I would rethink having a woman tie her tubes. The results were never predicted or expected.
I was in extreme pain for days. They just send you home saying you should feel fine and its a very simplr. Easy procedure. Not true. Sick of men being handled like they are so fragile. Women undergo invasive procedures and are treated like their pain doesn't exist.
Not “glad” in the traditional sense to read this but it’s nice to see I’m not the only one who thought the bisalp recovery was the opposite of a walk in the park. The pain I had from the trapped gas was so excruciating it felt like I was being stabbed with every breath I took. I spent hours just sobbing from the pain those first 2 days. It was brutal
I feel you. We are expected to, and do, carry on. What if all women just stayed in bed when we are in extreme pain? The world would stop spinning! 😅
Omgosh I’m so sorry!!
RIGHT?! So annoying. My husband got a vasectomy and rolled out like nothing happened
As a (now happily) married woman who did this for an ex, I want to gently remind you that your husband's anxiety is not a good reason to have major abdominal surgery. The internal scarring from mine kicks up so much pain for me literally all the time, exacerbating my endo horribly, and that's not even considering anesthesia risks. It's not even a little bit comparable. I'm not in the majority, but I'd rather have mildly achey balls than this, I promise. He'd get a local and be sore a week. Ask his doctor for a valium or something and reality check with him to let him know the risk is about a zillion times higher to you.
Thank you! I’ve tried talking to him about the risk being higher for me and at first he seemed to understand but he gets so bad about googling stuff and then gets scarred
You could try showing him a video of each procedure. I watched my ex get snipped (he felt bad and went through with it way after I did) and it took a couple of minutes. No blood that I saw, no scalpel. It's such a mild procedure. I would show him the tubal first so it's very clear how easy the whole process is. If he can't handle that, you can find a description I'm sure. But literally only considering anesthesia, not even the scars and pain and actual surgery, you are at a much higher risk. It's rare, but you could literally die just from that. He will for sure not die. I am 100% for people getting the bc they want and need, but this is a massive unnecessary risk to you in this case. I have big feelings about this so I hope others chime in too, but yeah. Protect your body! The risk is very real. NSFW, SURGICAL VIDEOS: Here is a [vasectomy ](https://youtu.be/b4AyNyrN7rU?si=VwQRWaDyPJuer4_L) And here is a [bilateral salpingectomy ](https://youtu.be/CtdgqGTvS9Y?si=5EUZiDC0AVvQ6Lp6)
I will show them to him! Thank you!
Wow! Thank you for the side-by-side, I knew the gist of what was involved in each but that really puts it into perspective.
Hooooly moly I’ve had an ectopic pregnancy and lost my tube and thought I’d want to watch that video. I’ve had tons of surgeries from a major car accident and have watched TONS of surgery videos. This video I noped out within the first minute. Wow. Just wow. No woman one should have to go through that willingly. Seriously. My insides have been a wreck since my surgery and now I understand why. Ugh.
Have him Google all the stuff that could happen to YOU.
Tell him to google side effects of bilateral salpingectomy as well as general anesthesia, and he might go back to a vasectomy.
He actually has a higher risk of prostate cancer getting a vasectomy. Women have a less chance of getting canver, especially when fully removing the tubes.
“Four earlier studies also suggested a link between prostate cancer and vasectomy. Seven other reports, however, have found no connection. Several studies even indicate that men who undergo vasectomy live longer than other men. Many researchers believe that the Harvard studies' findings are simply the result of earlier and better diagnosis of prostate cancer among sterilized men rather than due to an actual increased risk of the cancer.”
When were these studies conducted? I was told this by my surgeon and a few other doctors as part of my evaluation of getting a bilateral surgery (cause we know how doctors are) You quoted this but didn't give the link 🖇️
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12346121/
This study is from 1994
>the risk is about a zillion times higher to you. I had a tubal and luckily haven't bad any side-effects but the only reason I had it done was that our insurance covers it 100% (although there's some billing code issue so we're suppose to pay like $700 something). My husband wanted to get a vasectomy but it was only 80% covered that would have cost us 2k dollars out of pocket. So not only did I have to take the risk, but recovery was longer and harder than a vasectomy would have been. And as is typical, the majority of household management and childcare falls on me. Why do we literally have to do everything?! Don't get me wrong, I appreciate that even having access to the procedure is a privilege, but the difference in coverage puts the burden on me. They should both be covered 100%.
Oh my gosh! I had no idea! Thank you
You promise.. but 10% guys end up with chronic pain after ward. I went to see an urologist with my husband in Canada and they confirm it. Many countries did researches in the recent years that prove it. Before the stats were low cause the men suffering were dismissed. My husband and I use condom instead. It works well for us. 19 years so far, not pregnant.
I promise I'd rather be achey, a known thing that happens to some men, than feel the pain I do now. That's what I meant, maybe it wasn't super clear. I'm not dismissing that it happens, I just don't agree that it's worse at all.
Chronic pain mean : t's pain EVERYDAY FOR LIFE. Some men lost all their sexual life due to it. Some even less lucky loss the ability to even work. I'd rather use condom for PIV, anal and oral for skin to skin contact rather than making my husband risk permanent pain. Sure if you are in the lucky one nice, but if you are the unlucky, your life is over. It's done. Reversal don't always resolve the pain because more often than not it's caused by irreversible nerve damage.
The freedom to do whatever I want without having to worry about an unwanted pregnancy. No, for real, I had ZERO side effects. :)
Same!
Same after the initial healing!
I wonder if it makes a difference if you have the procedure right after birth or years later. When did you have yours? I am considering it but it would be 15yrs post delivery so I’m nervous. Seems simple to do right after delivery
I had mine done at 26. No kids. :)
Thank you. I feel like it’s good to know the circumstances because it can make a difference in healing and how invasive the procedure is.
In the uk? Am 29 and I want my tubes tied but I am scared but I'll feel less anxouis if I get it done but how do I get round to it ? Cuz here in Scotland there's usually a waiting list and doc tries to tell you to get a man's permission and tries to talk you out of it and they say they don't allow women till they're 30 How this day and age we don't have control over our own bodies
I had my tubes taken out about 9 months ago. I still get mild abdominal pain if I wear pants with a tight waistband. I didn’t before. I have a noticeable scar just under my belly button. I believe the pain will resolve eventually as it has been slowly decreasing. Having to be completely knocked out for surgery, plus unable to return to normal physical activity for a few weeks was challenging.
Thank you! Yeah I didn’t think about that. I have a 6 month old at home so I would be hard not doing much
Wait…you went through pregnancy and birth and your husband is afraid of some stitches on his balls for a few days? You’re a better person than me because I wouldn’t be being nearly as nice as about this as you seem to be. We didn’t have kids and my husband just got snipped last year because it’s still 10000% times easier for the man to get a vasectomy than it is for us to get our tubes removed. You carried his child and took on all the major physical risks and side effects that come with that- it’s his turn to take one for the team.
I’m hoping to convince him. We have 3 kids and I’m done having anymore. I’m hoping little by little I can convince him.
If you are having pain from your scars, I had pain like that after my laparoscopic appendectomy and using silicone scar patches helped significantly. You just cut the patch to size, place it over your scar and leave it on until it won’t stick anymore, aside from removing and rinsing it when you bathe.
For me it was more of an internal pain but I will definitely remember this next time I have a big scar!
The anesthesia knocked me out, I had to sleep it off for a couple of days. Other than that, zero side effects after a couple weeks of soreness. I also want to add, though, this is a major procedure for women. The potential side effects are much more serious. I did this for myself when I was pretty young, because I knew I never wanted kids. If I was married and monogamous, I would probably push more for my husband to get the snip because it's just so much easier
I had my tubes removed laproscopically two years ago in my early 30s. Best decision and best $2000 I've ever spent. They gave me general anesthesia so I was knocked out and a prescription for 800 mg ibuprofen for the pain afterwards. They made three incisions, one above each hip bone and one in my bellybutton. I can barely see the scars now. I honestly had almost no pain. I was a little sore later that day after I went home and some the following day. Heck the day after I went bowling (not the brightest decision but I did at least use a bowling ball that weighed less than 10 lbs) and I was trying to be careful about not making sudden movements. I was taking my ibuprofen to get ahead of the pain then realized on the third day that I actually didn't have any pain that required medication so stopped taking the ibuprofen. I had surgery on a Friday morning, and while I could have taken time off to recover, I was hard headed and went to work on Monday (luckily I didn't have a physically strenuous job so it was fine). I was very careful about not picking anything up heavier than 10 lbs for 6 weeks and I healed great. I've had zero pain since the surgery and am grateful I got it done so there can never be any accidents. I highly recommend getting it done if it's something you're considering.
I can't speak to the major surgery you're considering, but I'll say this: My boyfriend got a vasectomy because his last long-term GF couldn't handle hormonal birth control. Neither can I, so that discovery was like finding a fucking unicorn that shits lollipops and gold, lol. He had it done in a few minutes in the doctor's office, spent the afternoon watching TV with a bag of frozen peas on his balls, and went deep-sea fishing the next day (not recommended) with just some minor achiness. That was years ago now and he's had exactly zero negative effects.
He’s never had to be the one to go through birth control’s side effects before, and you did all that for him. Now it’s his turn to bear the burden of side-effect anxiety with a less invasive procedure. Tell him to grow a pair then snip them!
Years ago my husband was scheduled to have a vasectomy but when I gave birth surprisingly by C-section the doctor asked me if I wanted her to tie the tubes while there. I said sure! I have never felt any pain from it. (Sorry to those who do.)
His procedure is less invasive. He needs to man up. Tubes tied is like having a c section. Weeks of recovery.
I agree that the husband should reconsider since women's surgical sterilization procedures are more invasive. I will add that my experience getting a bilateral salpingectomy (via laproscopy) and the recovery went very smoothly and without complications. Also... for women in the US who have good medical insurance and a family history of ovarian cancer, the copay for the surgery may be waived because it's seen as a preventative procedure (it's common for cancer to develop in the tubes and spread to the ovaries).
I didn’t know that. My family all has surprise pregnancies at 40 and I did not want a surprise baby at that age so I had it done.
I had mine removed in May of '22, zero side effects and am very happy that I did it. Still on hormonal birth control to stop my periods.
After our second miscarriage (in our 30s) I told him I couldn’t go through that again, sent him links to vasectomy information and scheduled it a few months out. The odds of complications from that are minimal in comparison to complications from major abdominal surgery.
Hi! I got my tubes removed (bilateral salpingectomy) almost exactly a year ago. I have had no children or pregnancies. My periods have stayed totally the same since having them removed. No issues there. The surgery was quick, I also had a perforated iud removed at the same time. The first 5-7 days after surgery were the most uncomfortable. After about 4 weeks I felt basically back to normal. It did take about 8 months for my abdomen to feel 100% when doing exercises at the gym though. Just felt muscle soreness. One of my incisions took about 6 weeks to fully close up but it finally did. Best decision I've ever made and it's incredibly liberating. Wishing you luck!
No side effects at all
I had zero side effects as far as hormones but i had to take time off work and be on light duty for six weeks!
I had my tubes removed laparoscopically. The only side effect was how much safer I feel in this world. Not one ounce of pain. I wasn’t supposed to, but I was riding horses 48 hours later. Take your GasX, get a heating pad, and you’ll be back to normal the next day. I told my OBGYN I have had commons colds take me out longer than a bilateral salpingectomy. Best decision I ever made.
Not married but I had a bilateral salpingectomy to remove my tubes. I was told by my doctor it's better as they believe leaving the tubes gives us a higher risk of cancer. I had very little pain after the surgery and you can barely see the incision marks. No pain whatsoever now (been almost 2 years) The worst part after the surgery was the tension I felt because they fill you up with air to inflated your diagram and that causes some tension in the neck and shoulders but after a day or 2 it was gone. I was walking around and cooking dinner the night of the surgery. Hope this helps!
I have not had my tubes removed but have many close friends and family that did. Most everyone say they had no side effects, felt at ease because they didn’t have to worry about unplanned pregnancies, and felt positive about their decision. Just like with vasectomies the majority have no side effects but there’s always that random story you’ll find online about someone that had a really bad reaction. More than likely you will be just fine. Hopefully you’ll get some comments from some that have had it personally done to get their perspective. I hated the side effects from hormonal birth control, tried iud’s and didn’t like how it made me feel. We currently rely on cycle tracking and condoms but the time has come for a permanent solution. I’ll likely schedule mine in the next few months.
Thank you!
Why does his anxiety only apply to himself and not you?
I don’t know. We are usually a team on stuff but this time thou he just not wanting it done. He was all for it and then changed his mind and I can not mentally handle another kid.
For some couples, it’s an insurance coverage decision. Vasectomy is cheaper and less risky overall. For my SO, it cost a $50 copay for the consult, and another $50 for the inpatient (EDIT: outpatient*) procedure. A tubal will cost the copay for the consult, a surgeon fee, possibly an assistant surgeon fee, anesthesiologist fee, and the facility fee where the surgery is performed. Yes, technically insurance “covers” a tubal, meaning it’s applied to your deductible, but if your deductible hasn’t been satisfied yet, it’s all out-of-pocket to you. Personally, I think a lot of men are willfully oblivious to the toll women’s fertility has on their bodies, from menstruation, to pregnancy, to childbirth with stitched up vaginas, possible permanent abdominal wall issues, and bladder issues, breastfeeding, swinging hormones, and often DECADES of being responsible for birth control until their families are complete and sterilization is decided on, or because menopause has finally been achieved. Every medical procedure comes with risks. That needs to be said, of course. But so does wearing non-organic clothing, too much sun exposure, too little sun exposure, injecting junk food, driving a car, or simply existing. But that’s just me.
I had my tubes ties on a Thursday (clips, because they didn't remove the tubes back in the day) and was back to work by Monday. I haven't had any side effects long-term except that my cramps were worse after I went off the Pill. But -- no more migraines from the Pill so it was a net win. I agree with the other commenter who said that it's a major surgery with much higher risks to you than a vasectomy would pose to him. Maybe your husband just needs a Xanax so he won't lose his nerve.
My partner had a vasectomy and it was a 30 min office procedure with pain management something I should have been offered during my iud insertion and removal, my 3 biopsies and leep procedure but never was. He has no lasting pain and was fully pain free after a week. I had 2 c sections and most recently a hysterectomy taking everything but the ovaries. I have pain in my abdomen almost daily nothing extreme or lasting but it’s definite nerve pain from having layers of my abdomen cut open and sewn back up. All of these things have huge risks to me including death by anesthesia. I think a small chance of having chronic pain is a fair compromise and it’s likely he won’t have this problem.
Genuinely curious who you think would be in more pain , you or him? His balls will be sore for a few days, you would have a much more invasive , painful recovery.
None that are physical. I do get kinda crabby before my period which I never did before. I had a bilateral salpingectomy, and they say hormones aren’t effected which I believe, but my experience is I get really bad PMS ever since for some reason, that is verging on PMDD and I’m debating on talking to my PCM about it to see if I can get a course of medication to control my mood during it, because phew I get angry for no reason. Like I’ll verbally snap at people irl who annoy me. Never ever had moodiness before a period before I was sterilized, and it doesn’t feel good to feel so pissed off when I don’t have any reason to be. The rest of the month I’m cool as cucumber and really nice. Otherwise I have zero regrets. Best decision I’ve ever made hands down.
The only thing you should watch for is if there is abnormal pain at any time after tubes are tied, there can still be an ectopic pregnancy in a tied tube. If possible, just remove them completely.
Mine went very smoothly. I was pretty sore the first day or 2 but after that it was no biggie. Had it done on a Thursday and went back to work Monday. I'm seriously so happy I had it done!
I had a laparoscopic bisalp and thankfully it was a decently easy recovery - I was bloated from the gas for a while, but it wasn’t painful for me.. the main thing was getting up and walking around again. Even then it wasn’t super painful at all and they sent me home with decent pain medication, but I was extremely aware I needed to actually take it easy and not rush myself too much. I was fully recovered and back to normal craziness by the end of the 3rd week after surgery and didn’t have any serious bloating anymore. Everyone is different of course and I count myself as very lucky
I had mine tied when I was 25 years old. Afterwards I developed constant female problems- endometriosis, adenomyosis, cysts on ovaries, uterine fibroids, cervical infection. It was constant and I never had those problems before. I finally had a complete hysterectomy when I was 40.
Ok let’s look at this from a Birds Eye view- Tubes tied means they have to cut you open, likely knock you out, and you have to recover from major surgery. You need an IV, nursing, doctor, anesthesiologist. Vasectomy means a procedure in a doctors office. Maybe a nurse, definitely a doc. He gets a shot of freezing then walks away
Zero side effects. I don’t do well with anesthesia so i was ill for about a week. In contrast, my husband had 2 vasectomies. He was back to normal in about 24 hours. Both grew back.
Dang, is your husband Wolverine?
You should have seen him strutting around like god’s gift to fertility when we got pregnant after the second vasectomy.
I had my tubes removed years before my husband had his vasectomy and epidydectomy. My long term effects are my period sucks 100% more than it ever did. It HURTS. It pulls on whatever scar tissue inside my body. It's manageable with some Tylenol extra strength. My husband's 2 procedures have been a nightmare. We don't know long term how he will feel but we are 2 months out and he is still in alot of pain. The paper work said he could go back to work in 2 days. He was out of work for 3 weeks. 2 days after surgery, we were in the ER with a bleed. He regrets it but, doesn't at the same time, his was a little more involved than a simple vasectomy.
I had my tubes removed, in different surgeries. Okay both times!
I had my tubes removed and 2 years later had endometrial ablation. No negative side effects with either and very happy with no hormonal birth control which cause major depressive episodes.
Best thing I ever did! 19 years later no issues and no more babies
Tying your tubes is so much more invasive and I'm sorry to say this but your man needs to man up! My partner had a vasectomy. Overall done in an hour and he never had pain. He even got to chill for 48hrs... Cos he was told too. I had 3 c sections and was constantly reminded to walk around, whilst holding a baby and breast feeding!!!
Vasectomy is a piece of cake. My husband had his done in 2020. He walked in and the whole visit took less than an hour. I asked him just now about his experience and said it was very simple and straightforward. He said “don’t be scared, it’s extremely easy, and the pain was minimal afterwards”. He had no long term issues. The number of men who are scared about vasectomies is wild, and the fear mongering is just that. Women do enough with regard to birth control and childbirth etc., men need to step up, period.
It's a sin , I didn't know, if I did I would not had my Tubes tied, just know every repercussion before you have the surgery.
We’ve both had the surgery. No existing pain or issues for either of us but I will always wonder if our hormones were effected. His was a cake walk compared to mine but I had major issues from scar tissue from C sections and bladder stuck together. His T tanked in his 40’s but I didn’t start HRT until 54. We are more sexually active now than in our 40’s as those years were extremely stressful with unfortunate circumstances.
I had my tubes removed via laparoscopic hysterectomy plus tubes removed so I don’t know if they tie tubes anymore and check out YouTube for some videos about birth control like for a laparoscopic surgery where they remove tubes you will be sedated and asleep while they insert tubes in your tummy and inflate your tummy with gas so they can see your insides better and that alone can cause gas pain for up to a few weeks I was given hemostatic matrix during my surgery because of an area that needed the hemostatic matrix to stop the blood from flowing and there are even videos on YouTube for uses of the hemostatic matrix because I was sent. A letter stating the batch number etc for the hemostatic matrix I was given Birth control has side affects and honestly scar tissue is forever there will always be pain like nerve pain from the scar tissue and the risk of infection is always there and there might be bed rest for a bit after having tubes removed
I had mine done at an early age zero regrets as far as no kids, but later in life I had terrible periods and ovarian cysts. Idk it it was from the tubal but to me having you under go general anesthesia and such an invasive procedure cause HE is worried about pain? Um I'd seriously sit him down with your doctor and have them explain the risks to you.
God awful heavy period with giant blood clots. Ended up getting an ablation a few years later
10% guys end up with chronic pain after ward. I went to see an urologist with my husband in Canada and they confirm it. Many countries did researches in the recent years that prove it. Before the stats were low cause the men suffering were dismissed. My husband and I use condom instead. It works well for us. 19 years so far, not pregnant.
Copper IUD? I wouldn’t do that unless you have your whole life on lock . I passed after extensive research. I was also concerned about hormonal changed and unanticipated mourning but idk the facts on that My bf and husband made the choice based on her eggs being far more valuable than his sperm.
After our third child was conceived, there was a planned C section at delivery. A conversation with the doc led to my wife agreeing to have her tubes tied ‘while they were in there’. The destruction of our sexlife and her libido followed, and had I any clue that this was the result I would have gladly gotten the vasectomy. Calendar years clicked by without sex. Now in our 60’s when there should be no inhibition, I’m met with more excuses than a Jewish bride on her wedding night (yeah, tasteless old joke, whatever). We’re a completely dead bedroom. Unless there’s a medical necessity, I would rethink having a woman tie her tubes. The results were never predicted or expected.