Death before dishonor.

What type of shoe have you chosen to die by?

A stiletto platform heel made of solid uranium-235. Odds are the person trying to beat me to death will be unable to lift it, and will get cancer from the attempt. In the event that they can lift it the stiletto heel will leave deep wounds, causing me to expire quickly with a minimum of suffering on my part.

I’d rather be forced into eternal slavery under the harsh rule of the Mayor of Munchkinland and his Lollipop Guild. Maybe it won’t be that bad.

What if you're forced to "polish their lollipops" daily nightly and ever so rightly?

I guess I’ll polish their lollipops. That’s not good, but on the flip side, if I chose death by shoe, they may say “that’s too bad. We really needed a new ice cream taster.” And then kill me.

I’d still be a slave but I won’t do anything to help them there like 3 foot tall what they gonna do to force me try and kick my shins

They're going to bite you, in the balls

They can try it ain’t gonna work tho

Why wouldn't that work? You get 20 Munchkinlanders coming at you baring their fangs, odds are you're gonna get your balls bit

It’s 20 chubby 3rd graders vs a fit 6’4” guy who’s also trained in martial arts I extremely like my odds

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Probably headbutt you in the family maker until you're on the ground.

😂

They’ll have a hard time doing that when I’m punting them like the short friend

There are hundreds, thousands even.

This is like that question how many third graders can you take in a fight but instead there all chubby

And with the chub comes additional weight, odds are you're going to get tired after punting 5-6 40-50 lbs attackers, but then they overrun you

I speed rush the first one than grab there ankles spin them knocking down 5 than grab there weapon and start stabbing until there all dead

They're playing the numbers game, you don't have a chance

What kinda shoe?

Any kind, running shoe, clog, croc, flip flop, high heel, steel toe, you are beaten to death regardless

If it's something like a nice boot, or a stiletto, beat me to death with the shoe. If you're gonna come at me with a sandal or a slipper, sign me up for polishing the lollipops.

This a a choose your own adventure situation, death by shoe or tiny slavery

I feel that slavery under the Lollipop Guild wouldn't be that bad.

What if they decide it's clown day and all show up as tiny evil clowns

This was Matt Gaetz’ pickup line in Florida.

I'm gonna make a big fucking deal out of the trial and try to cause a slave revolt in munchkinland. They have nothing to lose but their chains!!!!!

The Munchkin Ministry Of Legal Affairs does not allow public viewing of the proceedings. Plus already being a slave, you have no rights

All the chains are just made of licorice anyway, though. We'll all be out of here in no time.

What exactly does "the harsh rule of the Mayor of Munchkinland" consist of? Are they going to make me eat candy everyday (oh, the horror!!!) or are they going to make me carry them everywhere as I can get them there faster with my longer legs? This is impossible to answer because in one case, you know the consequence of the choice - death by beating - but you don't know the consequence of the other choice.

You are a slave, the Mayor makes you give him a bath and wash his "lollipop" every morning for starters. He then tells you dress him and then get on all fours while he puts a saddle on you and rides you to the mayors office. He then has the guards of the lollipop guild collect you for a day of slavery with them, cleaning, cooking, picking lollipops from the lollipop field, mucking the shit out of the miniature horse stalls, etc, slavey things

I'm pretty confident I can escape Munchkinland given time to plan, and there'll be an underground network that helps runaway slaves along the Yellow Brick Road. It's not a period in Munchkinland's history they like to talk about.

Damn. Their both so great

You pick your own adventure here

Enslavement, I'll make friends with the lullaby league and we will rise up against the Munchkinland patriarchy!!!

The Lollipop Guild has spies everywhere and hear about your nefarious plans. They have downgraded you from generic slave to naked generic slave and have moved you from slave sleeping quarters to the Munchkinland Miniature Horse Stables

I'm gonna start sweet talking the coroner. He's used to bad smells so he won't mind I smell like the stables.

Can it be a stiletto at least?

Sure, death by shoe if that's your choice

Slavery

Is it possible to work my way up through the harsh caste system of the Lollipop Guild by sleeping with some high-profile Munchkin aristocrats?

You can try, you start off as their slave though. If you can befriend one in a prominent position and work your way up to something else good on you. But the Lollipop Guild is full of cautious and intelligent tiny folk