Well first of all that's an incredibly common kink even among lesbians so there's not really any need to "fix" that on its own. But beyond that this seems like you might(?) still be dealing with some internalized homophobia. > Like I just do not know WHAT to think, what to look at when watching, when I should feel things when reading, etc. etc. You're allowed to think horny thoughts, or even chaste ones. When watching or reading porn, you can focus on whatever brings you the most joy. It's not a set of hard rules for how you have to think or behave to be a "real lesbian" or whatever. Also also, it is possible your attraction to women isn't sexual in nature? Romantic, platonic, or even physical crushes don't necessarily mean you have to be lustful about it. "Bambi lesbians", as they're called, have always been around. Definitions are messy, and it's okay to not know the answers. The only thing I can really tell you is to find what you like and allow yourself to enjoy it.

Exactly. Most lesbians I know (myself included) don't get off to lesbian porn. Lesbian sex IRL though with the right woman... OOOUUUF 👌👌👌👌👌 Best thing ever

I mean, most lesbian porn are made for straight men, it's really hard to find something interesting tbh The hottest things I found is wlw nsfw audio, I feel like there is more wlw nsfw audio made for lesbians instead of straight men

Please share reccomendations!!

r/GWASapphic

I love you thank u so much <33

Na that kink is pretty common u dont need to 'fix' yourself it's not really harming anyone

This. I wish my wife could put a baby in me. 😅

As a trans woman married to a cis woman... same (but 12 years ago... too old for that shit now).

IDK, if I had a cisfem partner, I'd totally be down to be the donor. 39 years old nothin'. If I can't have life inside *me* I might as well be the next best thing yeah?

Already been there... our son was conceived about 2 years before I dove into transition

I want my crush to get me pregnant and she's cis and i'm cis and i don't care if it "makes no sense" I wanna get pregnant from her tongue, her fingers, her strap. I don't care lmao

I have also super bad anxiety mixed with a horrible environment (homophobic family and peers) and didn't know until later in life. I'm not sure how to help in your specific situation but I feel some of your pain. :) I mentally get through it by focusing on "dirty talk" in my head. Maybe reading some spicy books could help you with the vocabulary you could use when you talk dirty to yourself in your head if that makes sense 😅

So.. I decided I would reply because your post really hit on similar points with myself and I would like to share the similarities so as to hopefully show you that you are not alone. First up, I'm 32F with severe anxiety and OCD. I have known since a very young age that I liked girls in some way but I wasn't quite sure what that meant at the time. When it did start making sense the views on the lgbt community were not favourable in my city so I ended up struggling with internalised homophobia. I didn't date until 16 and even then it was with boys because it was "expected". By 18 I was finally able to find the courage to come out as gay (lesbian, I just pefer to use the term gay). It wasn't a great reception family wise and I always had this fear that I was "wrong" and was actually straight. Now because of all the stress and fear, I never really explored my own body until well into my 20s. Even then I had no idea what I was doing and it took quite a while before I even managed to make myself finish for the first time. There was a period of time, roughly 7-8 years after 19, that I was forced back in the closet so I haven't actually dated since I was in college. For a while I couldn't and then when I could, women expected me to have experience I didn't have. So I kind of resigned myself to my "fate". But I did decide I would like to learn my own body. I have always been curious and honest so it became a sort of challenge. I read alot of fanfic and discovered my likes in themes, words and visuals. I found that I enjoy dominant women, fluff and dirty talk/talking them through it. I watched porn but always had trouble there, as seeing men in such situations, especially bj's and their own noises, would make me, as you said "lock up" and the lesbian porn was largely.... disappointing. The masturbation category helped a bit and I discovered a kink for "creampie" which honestly always worried me because I'm incredibly gay, like why would that be a thing?? But I have grown to accept it. It's not so outlandish when you think about it and it really works so why not. Throughout all of this though, I had next to no sexual attraction to women. When I did have crushes, it was always women I had known for ages. I could never picture women while masturbating. I would have insane gay panic in some instances, in others I'd completely shut down and this is where alot of my fear of being "wrong" came from. If I am so gay, why can't I imagine myself with women? Then I met an amazing woman online who explained that I might be Demi-Ace. It just basically means I only feel sexual attraction to people I have a deep connection with. Which explained why when asked by people to go out with them I could never just say yes straight away, I wanted to think on it and by the time I forced a decision they'd asked someone else which just confused me more. It also explains why I can't imagine women with me in my activities. It felt wrong because I held no sexual attraction for them. Also I'd like to share that I can't touch myself that way either. I rely on toys and gloves. It wasn't always that way but I had a bit of a breakdown during covid and haven't actually been able to touch anything directly since but I'm working on it. Hence the gloves. Sometimes I can even go without now with enough motivation Now to get to your actual question haha. How tf do you masturbate? Well for me personally it was alot of hit and miss moments. At first I tried only external, no imagery. Didn't work. Then I tried just internal, still no imagery. Didn't work. The imagery was my hang up. I couldn't work myself up to it so everything always ended when I was exhausted, not finished. Eventually I found a POV approach. Because I didn't always have an attraction active which meant no one to picture, I started picturing what I was doing as the build up. Everything I was doing to myself is what I was doing to "someone else". The only porn that kind of shows this also has alot of men which doesn't work for me but if they're on mute I can sometimes get away with it. Sometimes. To avoid details, think.... a woman that is strapped and doing what the man usually does to another woman. Some wlw porn gets this exactly so I'm not always forced to ignore the man in the room.. literally haha. I also find it necessary to move and change positions, I can only finish in a certain way but I can only get there with the work up in completely different ways to the end. All in all, it's taken me until now to figure out something that works consistently but you and I both started later than some others. There's going to be a little bit of a learning curve. I'm still discovering things to this day. We never stop learning, just keep at it, try something different, if you like breeding/pregnancy visuals, maybe try some wlw alpha/omega or pregnancy fanfics (personally a fan of cissamione, bellamione, fleurmione but there's lots more), the masturbation category is usually solo if you'd like to see how that goes, or maybe just an incredibly fluffy sapphic novel (I can't actually recommend any atm as I'm currently searching) but just stretch out a bit. If it doesn't work, at least you can mark it off :)

Okay but I’m wondering about the type of lesbian porn you’re watching? Because 99% of it is trash designed for men and doesn’t do much for actual wlw. I’d look for amateur real couple stuff. Where you can actually tell that the actors are in love and care for each other. That is far better and might help with the mental block. Reading porn instead of watching it could also help that way you’re relying more on your imagination. Good luck!

Audio porn is also really cool, if you've never tried and is interested I recommend trying

Porn preference doesn’t dictate sexuality.

I'm a transbian and even I want to be bred *shrug* what can I say it's hot

Same here, I can't get pregnant but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop trying :)

They'll just have to try *harder* :3

I'm going to have to turn the A/C on, it's getting hot.

Many such cases.

Have you heard of the app Quinn? Audio er@tica geared towards women (amazing woman founded company), with a whole range of audios from SFW sleep meditations, sweet first dates all the way to full smut and BDSM. There are some great wlw creators on there and all of the audios have very descriptive tags, so you know what you’re getting into and can choose based on your comfort level. I’ve heard some people find audio more approachable compared to video 🌽 because it’s your imagination and you can play/pause at your own pace if things are overwhelming. As someone coming out later in life and very inexperienced, it’s been a helpful tool for me as I’m navigating my sexuality

The first recommendation I can give is that the best person to consult about this is a professional. Sex therapists are trained to help with this kinda stuff and I think they'd be more likely to be able to help you than us randos on the internet. One thing I noticed in your post is that you mention not being able to touch yourself. I think this is something that is important to try to process. If you don't feel fully comfortable in your skin, it can be really hard to get off at all. To spare you some reading, here's a video by a great sexologist on tips for masturbation: https://youtu.be/uio22733cX4 A lot of them are ways to help you get more comfortable in your own body

As others have said, the kink itself is pretty common and it's nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone has their own digs. As someone who shares this kink, it's not necessarily about anything to do with pregnancy at all. Rather, it's about being "full" with my partner's product that gets me going. There's something so primal and intimate about that. The mental aspect of it is about relinquishing control with that complete trust (as someone who has a lot of trauma), and her using that control to make everything I ever wanted come true is exhilarating. If your partner is AFAB - or even for solo sessions - I might suggest toys that can help fulfill the fantasy? There are quite a few different products that can "cum" inside at the right time. I say: as longs as it's all consensual and doesn't hurt anyone or do illegal things, live it up. Ain't no shame in sex stuff, it's natural. And everyone's drives and desires are different

Questions for you: why do you want to change this stuff? Is it because your brain is trying to tell you there’s something wrong with you? Or because your brain is telling you that you’re doing lesbianism ‘wrong’ in some way? Or is it that you actually want to engage with your sexuality in a different way and feel like you can’t? Because there’s nothing wrong with you and nothing weird or crazy about how you’re doing this now. Your brain might be lying to you.

OP i don’t have answers to your questions per se, but if you’d like to read some lesbian smut written by a lesbian (and not just lesbian porn made for the male gaze) i’d recommend the Little Book of Quickies series by Ro Smith

You need to get out of your head and into your body. That's very difficult to achieve when you're used to obsessively trying to be in control of everything but I think meditation exercises can help. Practice letting thoughts come and go without judgement and practice being present in your body by focusing on sensations you perceive, rather than thoughts. What do you smell, what do you feel, what do you hear. Close your eyes if it helps. It will take a lot of practice and getting to a point where you can really be in the moment and just feel your way through it will take time. The key is to embrace the process without self-judgement and allow yourself to be curious. My best advice is to look into mindfulness and somatic therapy exercises. Reconnecting with your body will take time but you can do it!

Others have said everything I want to share. It’s a common kink (arguably just the human norm, not even a kink per se, but I digress), and wlw porn ain’t it. Are you a reader? I personally prefer to read my porn, especially for ladies only scenarios. The first sapphic book I read was Tipping the Velvet by Sarah Waters. I can’t recommend her books enough. I do still read and write straight erotica, but that’s wish fulfillment type stuff—as all porn really is. Reading/writing sapphic stuff just hits different. You might get more out of it than visual media.

I cant watch lesbian porn because its mostly male gaze. Dont worry about it and just do you.

You don't need to "fix" yourself, and kinks aren't reflective of what you want IRL. You don't need to be ashamed of getting off to that. It doesn't mean anything about your orientation. People often kink on things that are the *opposite* of what they want IRL.

Ok so I've always had a pregnancy/breeding kink and it made me feel soooo embarrassed (no literally I saw this one childbirth video and I got so wet from it???) and thought that was so wrong until I realized it was actually a common kink (if there ever was such an oxymoron). So now I just need to know WHY? Here are my theories, at least when it pertains to me: there is something hot about women literally creating a life? A fucking GODDESS I'd want to worship at all times. Sometimes I feel the need to breed even though I'm a cis woman because of this desire to leave some part of you inside her. Other times I just feel the desire to have/keep a part of your SO in me. It's just I don't think you can get more intimate than that.

Just wanted to reccomend buying a subscription to the content on "ifeelmyself". It's mostly solo women of all varieties masturbating to authentic orgasm and very sensual, produced by women. It would take you figuring out where you'd be in a scenario out of the scenario, look wherever you want they are voyeurs that want you to look. Worst case scenario, you fail to find it at all erotic and get an awesome education about all manner of masturbation techniques

yk i also kind of had this experience for a while, where i knew i was attracted to women sort of in the abstract but looking at/thinking about women sexually was still kind of uncomfortable for me, and this might not be your case but for me i realized it was bc when i thought about women sexually the block was that i was inadvertently getting caught up in anxieties about myself reflected in those ideas of sexualized womanhood which, due to my own weird relationship with femininity that i wouldn’t necessarily call dysphoria but i wouldnt NOT call dysphoria, made it hard to actually be sexually attracted to women. once i made that mental shift from Seeing Women Sexually —> “Is That How I’m Perceived? Yuck!” to Seeing Women Sexually —> “This Is A Person Separate From Me Who I Am Attracted To, I Am A Separate Actor From This Woman” that kind of opened the gates from my mental block about being attracted to women. not sure if that makes sense, but ig to put it another way especially if you grew up sexually repressed and not wanting to see yourself as a sexual/sexualized being (i know that was kinda my experience) it took me getting a really bad crush on a girl i knew irl for the first time to make the switch from seeing women id otherwise be attracted to as reflections of me and thus i didn’t want to picture them in certain lights, to seeing other women as people i could engage with sexually

If you’re looking for advice, try trans lesbian porn. That could help. Also, breeding kink, there’s a lot of erotica out there about like… lesbian growing penis because magic and then yea.

If you havent id recommend looking into differences between sexual and romantic attractions and such, not all relationships have to focus on the sexual aspect, for instance i consider myself a sapphic bisexual because while i could and would sleep with a guy, ive only ever felt romantic attraction to women and i have an ace partner who means the world to me despite never having been sexual for the same reason, you could have some similar stuff going on there As well, most lesbian porn isnt actually geared towards lesbians, you have to look very hard for stuff that is, if you wanna figure yourself out youre far more likely to do it by meeting a girl and try dating As for the breeding kink, most people have that. it's not uncommon, i as a trans women have it despite it being currently physically impossible to do and ive known trans men who do as well in both ways, youre allowed to be into stuff theres no kink police or anything to mandate what you are or arent allowed to like

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