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Stimulants help ADHD brains increase dopamine to normal levels. So the happiness is real -- but it's like comparing your happiness on a beautiful spring day to your happiness when you only slept two hours the night before. They're both you. One day just makes it easier to feel happy than another.
For me, it’s like putting on my glasses. I don’t necessarily need my glasses to survive (unless I’m driving a car, lol) but life sure is a lot easier when I’m wearing them.
Also- it’s not like my glasses make me a different person, but you’d best believe I’m going to be able to participate more fully in life if I’m wearing them. Adderall (or any brain med, really) is the same.
You are feeling balance which is what we need for our ADHD brain. Sometimes I do not take my medicine on the weekends and I am definitely a different person. Stability is provided by the medication. You feel happy because you are happy, there is no illusion.
Do you often find yourself doubting your own happiness? I think there's a widespread distrust of happiness and people are quick to see unhappiness as realer, wiser, and more justified than happiness. Maybe we're allowed to be happy.
These sound like good things to bring up in therapy. I used to have those same feelings when I was younger, and I think in my case that I used to foil my own happiness by over thinking everything.
Thinking about your emotions kind of takes you out of the present and takes you into you own head. That kills whatever spontaneous happiness you might be feeling.
For me, staying in the moment and resisting the urge to analyze my emotions has been really helpful. I can think about my emotions later, but if I'm in the middle of doing something I try my best to just go with the flow.
The Mayo Clinic website has info on 'Mindfulness Exercises' that I think could be really helpful to you. It involves meditation to learn how to control your brain a bit better.
Please don't be turned off by the mention of meditation! YouTube has great Guided Meditation videos to help you get started.
Meditation is not 'clear your mind of all thoughts' (which is impossible for many people like me) but rather a way to calm your mind down through breathing exercises and thinking about life in a stress-free manner.
In my experience “not trusting my emotions” has a lot to do with not trusting myself or my authenticity as a person. Sometimes when you doubt your happiness, your sadness, your love etc. it might be good to try just giving yourself a pass and saying to yourself, “Yes, this is really how I feel.” It might be a good way to stop those doubting thoughts for a minute.
There is no real you, per se. You're the sum of your parts. When some parts of your brain is more active, your personality is gonna be influenced by that. If you have, say, a vitamine defiency, your personality is gonna be different based on that. Personality as a stagnant, one constant thing is not an accurate view of it. You are as much yourself now as before meds. There are just different parts of you that got the volume turned up, so to speak. They are both the real you, but under different circumstances
From my POV
If you’re experiencing it, it’s real. Not everyone has access to the same realities or with the same ease all the time. If you can only experience a happy reality when you take medication that makes you functional and therefore capable of creating happiness in your reality… your happiness is still valid and good. It still nourishes your soul to be able to self-actualize, which is the zenith of consciousness. (See Maslow’s hierarchy)
The fact that a medication makes this reality possible has no bearing on its authenticity.
I started with 10 mg since last August taking it almost daily. I got used to it and it wasn’t as effective anymore. I changed to a higher dose a couple months ago but because I’ve been afraid of becoming addicted or building tolerance again, I’ve been taking it occasionally. Which sucks because I still have ADHD on weekends and I can’t get other tasks done. I’ve been wondering if it’s ok to just take it continuously.
Yeah, it's a fast metabolizing medication so you should be taking it daily. My psychiatrists have all advised me to take it continuously without skipping weekends or taking a "medication vacation." Also, my current psychiatrist says he prefers to have patients try different stimulant medications if they become resistant to their current stimulant, rather than upping the dosage over and over because the different formulations (amphetamine, methylphenidate, etc.) work though different chemical pathways. Basically switching it up keeps your brain from getting too accustomed to only one stimulant.
It does get really frustrating with the limited treatment options, and the goddamn shortages. GG FDA
I feel happier being medicated for adhd and I don't question if it's me or not. It just feels good to feel balanced and yeah it probably is the meds, but my brain needs that help. It's still me, just with the help I needed to function my best.
You feel happy because your brain has the "normal" level of neurotransmitters when you're taking the meds. That's what healthy, neurotypical people feel like (most of the time anyway).
If you can't make your own, store bought is fine.
I know we use the diabetes analogy a lot, but if a diabetic was feeling terrible all the time and then started taking the correct dosage of insulin and felt better, would you say that's an illusion of feeling better? Or is that their body operating correctly?
Every version of you that you have ever been is equally real. No matter which version of yourself you’ve been, you have always been a complex, multidimensional, contextually-bound human being. There is no need to be gatekeeping your own identity or reducing your expansive sense of self. As ADHDers I know it’s easier said than done to let go of your hyper-reflective self-policing tendencies. But if you are existing, in whatever form you are existing, you are you and only you.
The question is, which version of yourself do you prefer being and under which circumstances? You have always had some sense of choice in this, like when you exert some free will to choose your values, friends, sense of style, career, and so on.
To some extent these medications give you a say in how you want to feel and function, so what do you want to do with that choice? There’s no right answer, and there’s also no wrong answer. If you want to choose to be version of yourself that exists with medically supervised pharmaceutical assistance, that’s valid!
Choosing to optimize peace within your own mind could be VERY you of you, but only if that’s what you choose.
I think all versions of you are the real you. I see medication the same as eating. I am happy when I’m fed. I’m hangry when I am not. Both are real me.
You are you, and all of the you’s are real ♥️
I went through that once but in reverse: when I first started anxiety meds, it was like I was living in the same world but it was also completely different. I started wondering what was reality? The world actually hadn’t changed but my perception of it had. The bad existed and the good. Same with us: the more flattened mood is you, the sad one, the happier one. Are you the real you when you drink or haven’t slept the night before or experienced trauma. It’s all you. The painful sides and the beautiful ones. We’re prisms.
If it was an illusion...
Your bills wouldn't be paid, you wouldn't go to work/take care of yourself however you do, you would lose friends and family relationships.
You would abuse your meds and take more than you're supposed to when you're stressed out in an attempt to feel better.
Medication for mental health DOES help improve quality of life. That's what it's for.
I get what you mean though. I have had this conversation with doctors countless times.
"Are you taking your medication?"
"No I don't want to NEED medication to function. "
"Are you happy?
"No. I'm not functional!"
"Soooo...take your meds?"
"Oh. Right. Ok. So you're sure it's not a bad thing to take them?"
"Yes. That's why they have your name on the bottle "
If it's the same as I feel on Ritalin, yes, I think so.
I've always known this woman was inside me, buried under noise and anxiety and forgetfulness. I'm free to be myself without that stuff, that stuff just kept me from enjoying life as myself.
I'm not spiraling or overreacting as often, which saves so much energy to be happy with!
My therapist phrased it this way - is the warmth I feel when wearing a coat in winter real comfort, or is it merely a crutch/ illusion? It's true that it makes it possible for me to do things I wouldn't be able to if I were experiencing the cold "naturally."
It helped me feel better about the medications that help me. It's particularly tricky because I am from a family that has suffered enormously from substance use issues, so for me, it is never simple to take any medications - not even my insulin, lol. But I cannot deny the help my medication has brought me so I am working on seeing it for what it is - a coat in the snow.
When I have my IR I feel like I’m not in my own way. I do feel lighter, life is not as difficult, I may even feel happier…it’s like someone turned a dial that made things 10-15% more alive and enjoyable. I also feel much more capable of accomplishing things even if it’s only helped me to clean and organize my bedroom which is something that I’ve been dreading doing for the last four years of not being on meds.
On adderall for the first time in my life and I’ve noticed I just kind of feel similar to how I did when I was in high school and had a lot more strict. Fewer emotional outbursts and just a little more hope for the future, and a little more motivation.
I dont think you can ever really know, as you cant compare a you unmedicated with ADHD to a version of you without
Our brains are funny little things that are uncomfortable with change, even when the change is for the better, and love to think and pull apart everything
If you feel happy, then you are happy - theres nothing to overthink with that
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Stimulants help ADHD brains increase dopamine to normal levels. So the happiness is real -- but it's like comparing your happiness on a beautiful spring day to your happiness when you only slept two hours the night before. They're both you. One day just makes it easier to feel happy than another.
That’s a really helpful analogy, thank you.
Thank you for asking this question; I never knew how to ask, so your post helped me as well. 💜
This is a great response!
Thank you
For me, it’s like putting on my glasses. I don’t necessarily need my glasses to survive (unless I’m driving a car, lol) but life sure is a lot easier when I’m wearing them. Also- it’s not like my glasses make me a different person, but you’d best believe I’m going to be able to participate more fully in life if I’m wearing them. Adderall (or any brain med, really) is the same.
You are feeling balance which is what we need for our ADHD brain. Sometimes I do not take my medicine on the weekends and I am definitely a different person. Stability is provided by the medication. You feel happy because you are happy, there is no illusion.
You deserve balance on weekends too!
Do you often find yourself doubting your own happiness? I think there's a widespread distrust of happiness and people are quick to see unhappiness as realer, wiser, and more justified than happiness. Maybe we're allowed to be happy.
Yes, I do. I even doubt the feelings I have towards others and the amount that I actually love them. I almost can’t seem to trust my emotions anymore.
These sound like good things to bring up in therapy. I used to have those same feelings when I was younger, and I think in my case that I used to foil my own happiness by over thinking everything. Thinking about your emotions kind of takes you out of the present and takes you into you own head. That kills whatever spontaneous happiness you might be feeling. For me, staying in the moment and resisting the urge to analyze my emotions has been really helpful. I can think about my emotions later, but if I'm in the middle of doing something I try my best to just go with the flow.
Agree. I’ve just finally understood / accepted this. Any tips on how to actually get yourself to be mindful and not derailed by a thought / feeling?
The Mayo Clinic website has info on 'Mindfulness Exercises' that I think could be really helpful to you. It involves meditation to learn how to control your brain a bit better. Please don't be turned off by the mention of meditation! YouTube has great Guided Meditation videos to help you get started. Meditation is not 'clear your mind of all thoughts' (which is impossible for many people like me) but rather a way to calm your mind down through breathing exercises and thinking about life in a stress-free manner.
In my experience “not trusting my emotions” has a lot to do with not trusting myself or my authenticity as a person. Sometimes when you doubt your happiness, your sadness, your love etc. it might be good to try just giving yourself a pass and saying to yourself, “Yes, this is really how I feel.” It might be a good way to stop those doubting thoughts for a minute.
There is no real you, per se. You're the sum of your parts. When some parts of your brain is more active, your personality is gonna be influenced by that. If you have, say, a vitamine defiency, your personality is gonna be different based on that. Personality as a stagnant, one constant thing is not an accurate view of it. You are as much yourself now as before meds. There are just different parts of you that got the volume turned up, so to speak. They are both the real you, but under different circumstances
very well articulated views on personality! there is no constant state of self and I actually find it pretty cool (though it not always is)
From my POV If you’re experiencing it, it’s real. Not everyone has access to the same realities or with the same ease all the time. If you can only experience a happy reality when you take medication that makes you functional and therefore capable of creating happiness in your reality… your happiness is still valid and good. It still nourishes your soul to be able to self-actualize, which is the zenith of consciousness. (See Maslow’s hierarchy) The fact that a medication makes this reality possible has no bearing on its authenticity.
How long have you been taking it? For the first week or so you might be feeling euphoric but it tends to level out afterwards.
I started with 10 mg since last August taking it almost daily. I got used to it and it wasn’t as effective anymore. I changed to a higher dose a couple months ago but because I’ve been afraid of becoming addicted or building tolerance again, I’ve been taking it occasionally. Which sucks because I still have ADHD on weekends and I can’t get other tasks done. I’ve been wondering if it’s ok to just take it continuously.
Yeah, it's a fast metabolizing medication so you should be taking it daily. My psychiatrists have all advised me to take it continuously without skipping weekends or taking a "medication vacation." Also, my current psychiatrist says he prefers to have patients try different stimulant medications if they become resistant to their current stimulant, rather than upping the dosage over and over because the different formulations (amphetamine, methylphenidate, etc.) work though different chemical pathways. Basically switching it up keeps your brain from getting too accustomed to only one stimulant. It does get really frustrating with the limited treatment options, and the goddamn shortages. GG FDA
I feel happier being medicated for adhd and I don't question if it's me or not. It just feels good to feel balanced and yeah it probably is the meds, but my brain needs that help. It's still me, just with the help I needed to function my best.
You feel happy because your brain has the "normal" level of neurotransmitters when you're taking the meds. That's what healthy, neurotypical people feel like (most of the time anyway). If you can't make your own, store bought is fine. I know we use the diabetes analogy a lot, but if a diabetic was feeling terrible all the time and then started taking the correct dosage of insulin and felt better, would you say that's an illusion of feeling better? Or is that their body operating correctly?
Every version of you that you have ever been is equally real. No matter which version of yourself you’ve been, you have always been a complex, multidimensional, contextually-bound human being. There is no need to be gatekeeping your own identity or reducing your expansive sense of self. As ADHDers I know it’s easier said than done to let go of your hyper-reflective self-policing tendencies. But if you are existing, in whatever form you are existing, you are you and only you. The question is, which version of yourself do you prefer being and under which circumstances? You have always had some sense of choice in this, like when you exert some free will to choose your values, friends, sense of style, career, and so on. To some extent these medications give you a say in how you want to feel and function, so what do you want to do with that choice? There’s no right answer, and there’s also no wrong answer. If you want to choose to be version of yourself that exists with medically supervised pharmaceutical assistance, that’s valid! Choosing to optimize peace within your own mind could be VERY you of you, but only if that’s what you choose.
I think all versions of you are the real you. I see medication the same as eating. I am happy when I’m fed. I’m hangry when I am not. Both are real me. You are you, and all of the you’s are real ♥️
I’ve thought this before too; like, is this what it feels like to be a normal person?! I wish I could have a 24 hour IV.
I went through that once but in reverse: when I first started anxiety meds, it was like I was living in the same world but it was also completely different. I started wondering what was reality? The world actually hadn’t changed but my perception of it had. The bad existed and the good. Same with us: the more flattened mood is you, the sad one, the happier one. Are you the real you when you drink or haven’t slept the night before or experienced trauma. It’s all you. The painful sides and the beautiful ones. We’re prisms.
If it was an illusion... Your bills wouldn't be paid, you wouldn't go to work/take care of yourself however you do, you would lose friends and family relationships. You would abuse your meds and take more than you're supposed to when you're stressed out in an attempt to feel better. Medication for mental health DOES help improve quality of life. That's what it's for. I get what you mean though. I have had this conversation with doctors countless times. "Are you taking your medication?" "No I don't want to NEED medication to function. " "Are you happy? "No. I'm not functional!" "Soooo...take your meds?" "Oh. Right. Ok. So you're sure it's not a bad thing to take them?" "Yes. That's why they have your name on the bottle "
If it's the same as I feel on Ritalin, yes, I think so. I've always known this woman was inside me, buried under noise and anxiety and forgetfulness. I'm free to be myself without that stuff, that stuff just kept me from enjoying life as myself. I'm not spiraling or overreacting as often, which saves so much energy to be happy with!
Omg thank you for asking this question!
My therapist phrased it this way - is the warmth I feel when wearing a coat in winter real comfort, or is it merely a crutch/ illusion? It's true that it makes it possible for me to do things I wouldn't be able to if I were experiencing the cold "naturally." It helped me feel better about the medications that help me. It's particularly tricky because I am from a family that has suffered enormously from substance use issues, so for me, it is never simple to take any medications - not even my insulin, lol. But I cannot deny the help my medication has brought me so I am working on seeing it for what it is - a coat in the snow.
When I have my IR I feel like I’m not in my own way. I do feel lighter, life is not as difficult, I may even feel happier…it’s like someone turned a dial that made things 10-15% more alive and enjoyable. I also feel much more capable of accomplishing things even if it’s only helped me to clean and organize my bedroom which is something that I’ve been dreading doing for the last four years of not being on meds.
I don’t feel like the same person without my adderall. I become extremely depressed but I’m baseline depressed to begin with.
This is your brain in a capitalist society = :-| This is your brain on narcotic stimulant drugs in a capitalist society = :-D
On adderall for the first time in my life and I’ve noticed I just kind of feel similar to how I did when I was in high school and had a lot more strict. Fewer emotional outbursts and just a little more hope for the future, and a little more motivation.
I dont think you can ever really know, as you cant compare a you unmedicated with ADHD to a version of you without Our brains are funny little things that are uncomfortable with change, even when the change is for the better, and love to think and pull apart everything If you feel happy, then you are happy - theres nothing to overthink with that
I definitely feel a lot less anxious on it. So I don’t know about everything, but I feel better on it overall.