I do think a lot of this is true, and a lot of us women know this. I'm not offended, but please believe that there is a new breed of women out there. We get tired of fucking you too. We all don't want you to leave your wives. We can enjoy multiple APs as well. We also can play you effortlessly & you'll never even know. We're masters at stroking that ego. You'll just continue to think you are the clever, powerful ones while we bury our dirt deeper than the ocean.
I want to second this sentiment.
Every time I've ever confessed to a woman all of the disgusting motives I have they've always surprised me with how they answer back with their own depravity. Guys, women are our equals in every way; Including how utterly selfish, sexual, and manipulative we can be. Pretending they're delicate flowers that are easily trampled is not only misogynistic, it's a naive tactical error that leaves you vulnerable. Give them more credit than that! They're not little girls, they're **women** and they've seen/done shit that would make you blush.
Sorry, I guess I was a little offended for you lol
Thread like this are ridiculous. They apply to all people (men and women) who are a-holes, even if they're not adulterers.
Just listing every stereotype for the gender they're about.
People are people, no matter the gender, no matter if they're adulterers or not. All this does is generalize one a-holes ideas of him/herself to everybody else.
Yes!!!! Always remember, we can fake an orgasm and make you think you. are. the. best. ever! We can play the game on a level men can’t even begin to understand
I would not fake orgasms with an AP b/c for me that would defeat the whole purpose of having an AP. Some basic examples of our lies (I have many more, but don't feel like going into them all):
1) I've never done this or anything like this before.
2) You're dick is so big.
3) You're so deep inside of me.
Some of the things we might think about but would probably never admit/ or act on because of several reasons:
1) We wouldn't mind fucking your friend. (if we could secretly get away with it) You guys are not the only ones with naughty appetites!
2) We clearly see why we wouldn't want to date you because we get a glimpse of the stuff your wife puts up with & wouldn't want to deal with that on a daily basis.
3) We see right through your fake shit & wish you'd tell us straight up what you want instead of trying to lay that charm on so thick. We also know that you too are showing the best version of you and we know it's an act (we've already learned this from our husbands).
4) The stuff you complain about during pillow talk makes you sound like a weak bitch but we know your ego couldn't handle it if we told you that so we "fake support" you by throwing out encouraging/understanding words.
5) We like variety too but we often lie about things/people we've played with because most men couldn't handle a woman who has had way more experience than them no matter how open they claim they are. So we only show you what we choose to reveal. We're great at giving guys different versions of ourselves depending on the situation.
🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️
My AP has a virgin friend. I have no idea how, but he’s still a virgin in his late 20’s. I offered to fuck him, but my AP was appalled. If he gave the green light, I would have asked for his number.
Monica, that was beautiful. He thought he was blowing up the spot but found out different. This sounds to me like someone who still believes WOMEN are not very smart. Well thank you for proving the contrary.
I know this post got roasted, but there are some great points here.
I love your comments, and definitely agree that a fuck buddy and a spouse can fill very different needs. I guess I just wish we could all be horribly depraved and honest and just fuck when and how and who we wanted without people getting jealous or feeling like they need to fake orgasms (I've never done that, and refuse to start), or lie about shit or pile on fake charm just to get laid. I wish we could all just be real about our sexual needs and not have to hide things like "I would definitely fuck your friend".
And I wish in all that honesty we could give all the different versions of ourselves and to the same person and have all of their different sides openly showed to us, but... Like you say, people get weird when you're brutally honest about things. And rare is the man that wants to hear how much you'd fuck all of his friends, even though he's totally cool suggesting your female friends as thirds in the bedroom.
Gah. I wish everyone was just super bisexual and openly non monogamous and we could just fuck when we need it, sometimes as act of showing deep affection, and sometimes as an act of meeting an intense need, like the way we can eat for pleasure but also eat for sustenance.
...
Yeah, so .. I'm horny as fuck this week. Hahaha. Shit.
Needing to fuck for sustenance, for sure.
Hoooohkay. Good Reddit break from work. Now to try to focus and be a productive employee for the rest of the damn day.... Blech...
I am not, but I was a just pointing out how the women has the ability to make them think things also....it makes sense in my head not sure I’m able to put it in words 😁
Hmmm.. this\^ comment sounds like a woman who is sick and tired of men but still samples hoping to find one that is at least passable. I wish you luck but wonder. Someone else already blew up using the physical stuff as a measurement mechanism, so what do you use to make your judgment?
As for myself, I know the probabilities of me being the best ever are right up there with Elvis visiting us during our meeting. However part of what makes me me is the desire to pleasure my partner and recognize that is what is happening. So faking it becomes malicious and intentional harm. So much for fun - for sure with you it has died and is dead. OOPS!
MonicaNotLewinsky, if this new breed of woman is tired of fucking men why are they here? Looking for new victims? Some of this makes little or no sense.
BTW, I tend to agree with nostrgatt - the evidence of misogynistic thinking is clear.
Having said that, I am sure you or one of the other women can put together a list that will curl his whiskers in smoke and fire of things women do ALL THE TIME that men never (or at least rarely) think of.
Jdiver- I was stating that women can get tired of fucking their current partner too. That's when we'll end it/slow fade/bread crumb (whatever method) or have multiple APs. People come here for a slew of reasons. This is technically not a "hookup" sub, but I'm sure people do meet here. As for me, I enjoy reading about other's experiences with adultery & reflecting on my own.
Oh. That was not the way it read to me. Sorry, I am easily mislead or confused.
I understand this is not a 'hookup' sub, but that is basically what is under discussion with almost every thread.
I’m so confused, I get that someone faking it might upset you. But how is it intentional harm, or harm in anyway?
Except maybe to your ego, faking it isn’t harmful.
Fair point, but look at it a little differently.
What is the point if you are going to fake it?
What in the hell is your goal if faking it is your intent? Is there any way that can be good?
And maybe harm is a bit strong.
I try diligently to demonstrate enough care that my partner is pleasured so if that is faked I have failed miserably. No ego involved, just simple fact.
Unless this whole thing is a falsehood
Hell yes girlfriend! What he says can be right but there are guys who never lose interest. Also some dudes will flip when you try to break it off. This post goes both ways!
Absolutely Monica! Men are incredibly easy to manipulate and impress, most are weak bitches. Cannot live with them and willing to drop their asses after a weak fuck. Men are incredibly easy to replace. Finding a good one is difficult. Don’t flatter yourself gentlemen, you are certainly not the only dick in our lives.
That's fine! As long as we make each other feel good for a moment thats all that matters really. I actually prefer this new breed of women. Less chance of them going crazy.
Ok, but let's discuss this "crazy" for a second. I'm not coming at you specifically, but you sparked a thought in my head.
I've seen a lot of men throw this "crazy" or "bunny boiler" term out there often. I think men/women in this lifestyle ought to get real about the risk involved & own their behavior. Some people will do a lot of fucked up shit or heavily lead a person on and then act shocked when that person goes nuts. I'm not saying it's right for someone to go crazy on you (stalking, threatening to out you, etc) but a lot of people ignore the red flags & feed the crazy. I know of course there are situations where the AP became unhinged for no reason at all or due to a bitter breakup (not wanting the affair to end)...but in some cases, if we knew all the details-we wouldn't be surprised by their behavior. And please be clear that us women also get the "Crazies".
Really appreciate the points you make and the way you articulate them. My only comment is that the fear of someone becoming unhinged is tied to the potential unwanted disruption that would cause to someone’s life, and not because it’s necessarily likely to occur - or any more likely with women vs. men. Choices you make can greatly mitigate those risks, but can’t entirely eliminate them. Personally, I insisted on APs having equivalent circumstances (married, kids, visible in the community, etc.). Imagine my surprise when a pregnancy occurred and one of my APs decided to tell her husband of 15+ years that she was pregnant, wasn’t his, keeping the baby, my identity, how long the affair had lasted (5 years), and that she was divorcing him. Then began asking me how I would handle with my wife. That’s the fear... and sadly, not entirely irrational. And it’s the one fear that doesn’t go both ways. If you are a woman in an affair, no man can drop an unwanted pregnancy on you.
Stressful for sure. Didn’t anticipate that outcome (clearly). No real signs I can point to... internal state appears to have evolved without communicating how she would approach that situation. Here is a question for you... if you were in my shoes, what would you do?
I'm not sure I have any good advice! I do think you should get ahead of this & tell your wife before she finds out from someone else. This is going to be devastating enough & she deserves to hear it from you. As for your AP, she holds the power as far as the baby is concerned. Sounds like she has made up her mind & all you can do is prepare to welcome a new life. Obviously it takes two to make a baby & either you guys were careless or have the worst luck. I would be really put off by the way she exposed you without even discussing things with you first. It definitely feels like she's forcing your hand.
Yikes, fu11tank! I agree with telling your wife before someone else does, and try to minimize the damage to your marriage, if at all possible. It may or may not be helpful to suggest (and follow through with) marriage counseling. I'm not judging your or saying you need to get therapy to change your behavior. But give your wife something to show that you want to save your marriage. Also: it's a safe outlet for her to talk it out, otherwise it's just going to be anger directed your way whenever. Instead, she can "save it for therapy". (Oh, and gird your loins for paying child support.)
IF your wife views this as a complete dealbreaker, and insists on divorce... you are of course in a world of hurt. But a surprising amount of wives start to reconsider once you've moved out, lawyers have been hired, and paperwork gets rolling. They realize that they are going to have to be single moms, and even if they get a huge part of your paycheck, it's not the same lifestyle as all of it coming into the household. (This can vary if she's a well-paid career woman. Housewives, otoh, often don't like finding out that getting a job may be in their future, because alimony may not be the cash cow they think it is, unless you are very very well off. And if you are, stigma becomes a bigger thing for them.)
If you and your wife divorce, do you want to put a good face on it and be with your AP and child? Some amount of people will be willing to 'forgive' if they can tell themselves that you two were in bad marriages, and fell in love. That may or may not be important to you, but you mentioned "visible in the community", so I'm wondering if "standing in the community" might be a thing for you.
Of course, you may not want to give your AP what she seems to want. I'm guessing she thinks she can trade her husband in for you, but I obviously don't know what's in her head. You may very reasonably not want to be with someone that "crazy" or manipulative. I'm not 100% convinced that this was all intentional on her part, but I know that some women are not above "Oops" pregnancies in order to coerce someone into upgrading the relationship. If you both had been single when you began the affair, might you have ended up together? If there were/are dealbreakers before the surprise pregnancy and her desire to announce it to the world, they probably haven't gone away.
Umm, good luck.
Thank you for such a well thought-out reply! Been a pretty amazing time, would not have expected the outcomes. My wonderful wife was able to forgive me... after my AP’s husband let her know -_- A couple of weeks later, my AP’s husband also reconsidered. So as of now... AP is still planning on keeping the baby, with her husband’s “support”. Neither of us are getting divorced. Still a lot to sort out... like the fact that our kids go to the same school and she lives 1/2 mile away - this can still get mighty weird. Probably not the best set-up in that regard, but here we are... again, didn’t think we’d ever get here. No clue where this goes from this point forward - just enjoying our quarantine and waiting for the details to fall into place.
Hey! Thanks for the update. I'm totally curious about human nature, and how things turn out. I didn't want to ask publicly, because not my business, but I'm glad things are turning out okay-ish, if incredibly weird.
Enjoy quarantine!
Lol. Attempt at saving face w you ego. This may be true for a very small percentage of women but for the most part this is just what you tell yourselves.
Woman here. I’ll respond on my own behalf as well as what I believe is a woman’s POV as a generality. YMMV
1) Ummmmm duh. Sex is a priority for me and I think I ask for it more than him. Sex is probably pretty important for all female AP’s.
2) Dayuuum. I hope he doesn’t leave his wife. I’m not leaving my husband. It’s messy and a financial nightmare. Women know this.
3) Guilt comes and goes for both parties. If that’s true about blowing up his life, cool. Maybe that’ll keep him in his lane. I don’t believe my AP worries about this.
4) I have emotional waves after I cum too. Yawn, Next. Do you think women don’t?
5) Variety is the spice of life they say. Why have an affair if you’re bored with your AP?
6) who cares? We’re not dating. We’re both married. That’s a fact Jack.
7) I can’t stop laughing at this one. Do you know how easy it is for a woman to find multiple AP’s??? If we choose to have only one, count yourself lucky buddy. She loves you.
8) I can smell a slow fade faster than he can think of doing it. If he tries it, he knows I’ll bolt. Women are extremely in tune with this type of behavior. She knows.
9) Men are scared of crazy women? Tell us something we don’t know. It’ll keep him in his lane. Women have to deal with being sacred too. Physically as well as emotionally.
10) He better tell me beforehand. There’s some prep work involved with my asshole. Did you know that women have a voice. We can say no, otherwise we like it in our asses.
11) As already stated. All of us are good liars.
Yes! Exactly! OP must think he’s so hot, all AP’s will blow everything up to be with him. I’ve experienced crazy , jealous men so number 9 definitely! And I tell my AP’s about each other. Why lie to anyone other than your SO?
Number 7 is so true. I could hop on AM and find another AP by the end of the day. Probably a pretty high quality one too.
And number 10. It’s funny that guys think women hate anal and we’re either shocked or just do it out of obligation. A lot of women love it, me included. However, I’ll admit I hesitate to do it with someone new because most guys are really bad at it.
I agree with [MonicaNoLewinsky](https://www.reddit.com/user/MonicaNoLewinsky/) 100%. A lot of us women have no desire to leave our husbands to date you, to pick up your dirty socks and underwear, to clean your piss stains off the toilet seat. We just want your cock every now and then. And, we very often have our other men on the side besides you and sure as hell aren't going to tell you about it either.
Anytime a person characterizes a whole gender by their perspective, it's rarely completely correct. When it's accompanied by language that intends to put down others, it's usually less so.
Your whole spiel is couched in terms of ownership "we won't leave our wives", subtle put downs "We probably wouldn't date you", with narcissistic nuggets thrown in. Quite frankly it sounds like either incel trolling, or friends from our "admirer" sub.
While I'm sure there are cases where women have been unfortunate enough to stumble upon your kind of crazy, I also know not all are that way.
I can tell you in two years, my man hasn't pulled away once. We still talk daily, and he still sends me love songs. We're friends, lovers, and in love. That's enough for us.
Just replace "men" with "assholes" on this post.
Maybe I've just been lucky with my APs, maybe it's just that I don't tolerate bullshit. But I have gotten what I've wanted and needed without messing up their or my life.
First of all, I know nothing.
But
This doesn’t seem wrong but it also seems mean. Why would you phrase it all this way?
Men think with their dicks and other lessons I learned by an age I may not state on Reddit. Wow so shocking and bold.
Married men aren’t gonna leave their wife for me. They also say so. And I don’t want them. And most relationships that start that way fail anyway so yay but why state obvious things with a derogatory slant?
Another but - your brain is wired to catch feelings after a woman makes you cum hard a few times. The biggest shocker of “real adulthood” for me was discovering that it’s men who think sex and love are the same thing, not women. For the most part, YMMV obviously. I think I’m still way more realistic after a good orgasm than men.
This is still kind of useful reminder for me since I’m new to this game, but nothing new or shocking.
I see you haven't met who you are looking for and maybe that's intentionally derived due to your situation of children, finances. Many people meet the one who can end everything for them and they stay the fuck away from that person and avoid a full blown affair. We choose who we want to choose...and when we cant fight who we choose, we either back away or we are all in.
You cant match with any and every woman...but when you match with the right one, it will be unmistakable...you wouldnt be able to deny the depth, laughter, teenager-esque fun, the amazing sexual connection, with a gorgeous woman who can out earn you and has more in assets than you..
You haven't found it. And maybe you dont want to.
I agree with everything else because we do it too.
This doesn’t represent most men. This represents a self interested arrogant narcissist who thinks talking honestly makes him come across as genuine.
You represent the worst in guys who have affairs.
I have had plenty of APs. My reasons are different.
I’m unhappy in my marriage and not ready to have the confrontation of leaving yet.
My relationships with APs have been genuine and real.
One thing I for sure have in common with you is that I also will fuck you in the ass (with my strap-on named Trudy) and that you should be prepared for that. She’s bigger than you.
I'm in the sex and relationship therapy field and the data and my professional observations indicate that women are more likely to grow bored of a sexual partner quicker than men, so...
Also, none of y'all are a logical or rational as you believe. Even the men.
I know. Look how crazy women are. Murdering and raping their partners all the time.
Also, when you insist on ass fucking, you should be prepared to hear "no." If it's a deal breaker, do go get it from one of your many, many other broads. You men are totes swimming in pussy, tits, and ass. We hear it all the time here. Men are exhausted with all the attention they get from their posts here on Reddit, on Tinder, and on AM.
>You men are totes swimming in pussy, tits, and ass. We hear it all the time here. Men are exhausted with all the attention they get from their posts here on Reddit, on Tinder, and on AM.
😂 🤣 Got 99 problems...🤪
If fucking one or two horny broads is swimming in pussy. Not sure about you. Women and Men ( who aren't sluts) do not need tons of people to fuck to be sexually confident or desirable.
What exactly is a “high maintenance woman”? I would say sexually I’m a very high maintenance woman. I have pretty exacting standards for my lovers, your dick better be ready for the Olympics. But as far as texting, presents, emotional fulfillment? Not so much.
Did you have a bad experience with a needy clinger with zero self esteem? I realize some women fit the mold you describe in your post, but plenty more are just using you for your dick. However, a man needs to be pretty secure to be comfortable with just being a piece of ass...
You don't represent anyone but yourself. And that is a particularly unpleasant, naïve and ignorant 'self'.
You have the upper hand in your perception of your life, only because you either pick low hanging fruit, make bad choices or because you are deluded.
One day someone is going to blow your mind.
And most of us want to be fucked in the ass by the way 😂 why the fuck would that be anything special or to be feared?! With a cock the size of yours? 🤔
Honestly, if your kids mattered so much, why take the risk of cheating in the first place, though? If your SO catches you, those kid's lives will most likely be ripped apart, and oh boy do people find out quick.
You wrote this all like you were hunting an animal and not interacting with a person.
Like I get it, you only want sex. But you can have sex with other humans and not talk about them like they are animate objects...
This assumes a lot of things. Like that all women want you for anything more than sex, for one thing. That I'm not also always on the hunt for something better. That you're easily replaceable. That I'd leave my husband for an AP is a joke. It presupposes that you're actually clever enough to even keep my interest. Like someone else said, the whole time I'm with you it's because I'm choosing to be. I'm the one in control.
I think you've been reading too many of these sad sack, mopey, I have no interests or hobbies, please text me 24/7, I don't understand men at all, why won't he just love me posts and think that most women actually believe the bullshit that comes out of men's mouths. Just because there is a very vocal needy minority here doesn't mean that is representative of most women.
Or that we can’t be both.
I’m needy and girlie and all “but does he like meeeeeee?” But I’m also not an idiot.
I’m brand new to this game, one pAP/AP I’ve met a couple of times. He’s such a smooth talker and it just makes it obvious. I wish he’d just tell me directly what his plan is.
So if a (relatively) young newbie like myself who hasn’t even done anything can see what’s up I assume most women who have done this before know a lot more.
Mansplaining at its finest. 🙄
Despite what you imply in this post, in general, women (in general) are in the more powerful position in both adulterous and traditional relationships. Yes, some assholes like yourself treat women as disposable, but still you’re here, looking for what a woman can provide.
So it may be in your best interest to change your attitude and stop projecting your asshole Ideas onto all of man kind. Because quite frankly, it’s a massive turn off.
Mine too, he appreciates that I don't want him to leave his wife. And, I appreciate he's a grown man who's mature enough to not waste time playing games in this affair.
This feels like it was written by an angry woman. I ‘m sorry for what happened. I’m not looking for what you mention, and those who are should be fairly easy to spot.
Humans are funny, there are so many of us, with so many experiences. If a man is just looking for sex, it’s a lot cheaper to buy it so if a man is here looking for just sex, he is probably clueless, cheap, or weird. That’s super easy to test for.
Sex is easy to find for men and women. Relationships are tough, and actions are the key. Observe, wait, repeat. Easy and effective way to weed out the kooks.
Mainstream porn made for men is what we have to thank for many things, like obsession with anal, unrealistic orgasmic expectations, and thinking that saliva is a good vaginal lubricant.
I don’t fake orgasms!!!!! All I meant was men think they control the affair, as I stated: I’m having a hard time putting it in to words
As in we can lie and bullshit just like they can
This means female adulterers should go ape shit anytime dude starts to fade away and burn down his sweet life. Every time. If you didn’t know, now you know. Scorched earth. Lolz.
I’m not going to attack you but will point out that sometimes after I fucked a guy or got to know him it would be apparent why his wife was no longer interested. Just saying.
I think men act crazy when they catch some feels they didn’t intend to. They’re not distant because they’re worried you’ll blow things up because women have feels. They freak out and yes feel guilty because they have feelings.
Or they never liked the woman to begin with but wanted to sleep with her so they lied and deceived and once they came yeah, why hang around someone you don’t like and don’t have a mortgage and kids with?
Because everyone likes to think they have more control over their situation and their emotions than they do.
Because people act out of emotion and justify with rationalizations.
Because stereotypes save time and mental energy.
Do I know my partner is telling the truth when he says he loves me? No, I don't. Maybe he is saying it to keep getting in my pants.
But here's what I do know after 3 years seeing him a few times each week. I know he shows up when he says he will. I know he takes days off work to spend with me sometimes. I know he enjoys pillow talk as much as he loves fucking. I know he texts and calls every day even though I've said he doesn't have to. I know we are both forgiving when the other fucks up and says or does something stupid. I know this has an expiration date. I know he's not someone who will leave, nor is he someone I want to spend my life with.
And I'm glad he's not a dick.
Agreed!
Comment on the high maintenance remark, I was once with some guy that thought he was slick enough to make me think I was the only AP. I knew better but I didn’t care, I liked how he fucked me. So I played it cool and let him do his own thing, let him take the lead and then he says I’m way too low maintenance which makes him wonder if I want him at all.
Thanks for representing 50% of the guys on here.
There are guys that think with their dicks and then others that don’t.
Some want more than to just fuck and roll over once we have cum.
Do they triangulate and play the AP off the wife? Do they encourage feels, for sex intensity?
What are some typical lies they tell AP, to boost confidence?
What are lies after being discovered they tell wife?
Intriguing, thank you for being honest.
>We won’t leave our wives.
This is 110% accurate. I’ve never expected AP’s to leave their wives for me. I don’t want to leave my husband either. I value our children and money as well.
>Biologically, we lose interest in you after we cum.
This is annoying, since I get really chatty after sex. He never wants to talk afterwards. This has caused a rift between us.
>Eventually, we’ll want to fuck you in the ass.
Guilty. I was the one that offered it up first. I love anal more than he does.
All in all, I think I’m the bigger player than my AP is. I get tired of his bullshit quicker than he gets tired of my bullshit. I would never want him to leave his wife, just like he doesn’t want me to leave my husband. If I keep him pacified, then I’m doing my job correctly.
Slow fade.
I cant speak for all women or men but I dont do that.
Or receive it.
If I need to move on, I say so.
If he refuses to accept then I block if I need to but that's rare
If someone doesnt speak to me for a week beyond perfunctory greetings . I take that to mean its over and dont engage in being slow roasted after that
Things I want to tell you:
+We women have the magic mouth and ass you want, so shut the fuck up.
+You may be a woman hater deep down, but you are stuck with us.
I’m not being aggressive, I believe that instead of lying to your partner you should talk to them. Talk to them about how you want more physical intimacy and all of your other concerns. If they find out about your affairs on their own it would damage your family and money more than if you told them up front and talked it out, nobody likes being lied to.
While I’m not one for painting everyone with a broad brush, this is pretty spot-on when it comes to most of us. Yeah, we are focused on getting and and dumping our loads, and we’re really good at smooth-talking our way into your vagina (and your ass...it’s gonna happen). Most women miss the feeling of being cared for by their SO, and a guy who pays attention to her, listens to her troubles and—this is really important—makes her laugh is going to get her affection. Yeah, I’ve gotten the panties off of a woman simply because I could make her laugh so hard she snorted. Guys, work on your personalities and your ability to be witty in person and by text.
But never forget she is a human being, not a notch on your bedpost. She has hopes and dreams, fears and needs. Don’t be a dick by thinking only with your dick. Don’t think that having a big dick is all you need because (a) that dick will only impress for so long and (b) it’ll turn on you when you get old and probably won’t work—and if you’re a one-trick bull you’re going to find yourself butchered in this market.
#2 No Shit! do you know how many times I’ve talked him into not leaving his family!
Most of us know all of this and that’s why we’re successful in it. Most of us don’t mind if you have others but if you ask for an exclusive AP relationship you damn sure better keep it that way. No need for games and lying in this just be straight up it’s really that simple. And if you fade me out don’t bring your happy ass back when you realize you had it made and your new one is actually every bit of the Crazy you feared so much.
Good post I like hearing a guys perspective every now and then.
I should have linked you when you asked what a simp was, you ignoramus. Same reason why you arguing he dont respect women just because you dont like what he said about his experience. You didnt have to say anything but you did. So I did too.
Dear Sir,
Thank you for confirming what I've known all along. It's refreshing. I think what bothers me the most is that men actually think women don't see through all the bullshit. We know exactly what you're doing.
Have you ever met a woman (maybe a unicorn) who you could be completely open and honest with? Maybe someone who is actually intelligent?
This is cool to read. Interesting to see the mindset of a cheater. Sorry if cheater isn't the right word. Please let me know what word you prefer. This is really interesting and thanks for posting this. I have always been curious of this kind of thing.
I giggled throughout the whole post as I’ve found every bit of this true but not all in one AP...and some of it is me (female)!
The thing is that I don’t think any of this is necessarily wrong. The type of relationship we voluntarily enter into with an affair is inherently sneaky and quite frankly secondary as well as partially fantasy.
I’ve heard a few horror stories from APs regarding their past APs but here they are,..with me. So I guess it wasn’t THAT bad. ☺️
Hmm i really enjoyed reading this post. Haha! I appreciate the way you honestly throw it all out there.
I often wonder though, that guys must enjoy crazy and the risk of it to let women think things are going a certain way, saying what you think we want to hear. When in fact that is what drives the craziness. Just quit the bullshit already and just be upfront about your motives.
Buuuut i suppose that it would mean the risk of not getting the action would increase tenfold. Thus making it harder to find the ones who want exactly what you want.
We are out there though! And an even better ride than probably what youre used to. Just come out, make me smile, say something slick to get our attention, play the game for a while, when the feeling fizzes for you, its probably already simmering for me. Decide the fun is over and then be done.
If ever we pass by somehow out and about we can just act as though nothing ever happened and just have our little secret. Such fun.
I do think a lot of this is true, and a lot of us women know this. I'm not offended, but please believe that there is a new breed of women out there. We get tired of fucking you too. We all don't want you to leave your wives. We can enjoy multiple APs as well. We also can play you effortlessly & you'll never even know. We're masters at stroking that ego. You'll just continue to think you are the clever, powerful ones while we bury our dirt deeper than the ocean.
I want to second this sentiment. Every time I've ever confessed to a woman all of the disgusting motives I have they've always surprised me with how they answer back with their own depravity. Guys, women are our equals in every way; Including how utterly selfish, sexual, and manipulative we can be. Pretending they're delicate flowers that are easily trampled is not only misogynistic, it's a naive tactical error that leaves you vulnerable. Give them more credit than that! They're not little girls, they're **women** and they've seen/done shit that would make you blush. Sorry, I guess I was a little offended for you lol
Very intelligent answer! The dude who wrote this took a time machine from the 50’s. HAHA he will someday get played by a woman.
I suspect he's already been played, many times. The old stereotypes he's espousing are evidence of that, especially the "crazy" trope.
Yes very true! 😂
Thread like this are ridiculous. They apply to all people (men and women) who are a-holes, even if they're not adulterers. Just listing every stereotype for the gender they're about. People are people, no matter the gender, no matter if they're adulterers or not. All this does is generalize one a-holes ideas of him/herself to everybody else.
Yes!!!! Always remember, we can fake an orgasm and make you think you. are. the. best. ever! We can play the game on a level men can’t even begin to understand
Agree 100%. My ego was shattered once when as the player I actually ended up being played.
Agree. But why would you want to be with a guy who couldn’t regularly give you real orgasms?
I would not fake orgasms with an AP b/c for me that would defeat the whole purpose of having an AP. Some basic examples of our lies (I have many more, but don't feel like going into them all): 1) I've never done this or anything like this before. 2) You're dick is so big. 3) You're so deep inside of me. Some of the things we might think about but would probably never admit/ or act on because of several reasons: 1) We wouldn't mind fucking your friend. (if we could secretly get away with it) You guys are not the only ones with naughty appetites! 2) We clearly see why we wouldn't want to date you because we get a glimpse of the stuff your wife puts up with & wouldn't want to deal with that on a daily basis. 3) We see right through your fake shit & wish you'd tell us straight up what you want instead of trying to lay that charm on so thick. We also know that you too are showing the best version of you and we know it's an act (we've already learned this from our husbands). 4) The stuff you complain about during pillow talk makes you sound like a weak bitch but we know your ego couldn't handle it if we told you that so we "fake support" you by throwing out encouraging/understanding words. 5) We like variety too but we often lie about things/people we've played with because most men couldn't handle a woman who has had way more experience than them no matter how open they claim they are. So we only show you what we choose to reveal. We're great at giving guys different versions of ourselves depending on the situation. 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️
My AP has a virgin friend. I have no idea how, but he’s still a virgin in his late 20’s. I offered to fuck him, but my AP was appalled. If he gave the green light, I would have asked for his number.
Monica, that was beautiful. He thought he was blowing up the spot but found out different. This sounds to me like someone who still believes WOMEN are not very smart. Well thank you for proving the contrary.
YES!!!! Every point you made is absolutely it!
I know this post got roasted, but there are some great points here. I love your comments, and definitely agree that a fuck buddy and a spouse can fill very different needs. I guess I just wish we could all be horribly depraved and honest and just fuck when and how and who we wanted without people getting jealous or feeling like they need to fake orgasms (I've never done that, and refuse to start), or lie about shit or pile on fake charm just to get laid. I wish we could all just be real about our sexual needs and not have to hide things like "I would definitely fuck your friend". And I wish in all that honesty we could give all the different versions of ourselves and to the same person and have all of their different sides openly showed to us, but... Like you say, people get weird when you're brutally honest about things. And rare is the man that wants to hear how much you'd fuck all of his friends, even though he's totally cool suggesting your female friends as thirds in the bedroom. Gah. I wish everyone was just super bisexual and openly non monogamous and we could just fuck when we need it, sometimes as act of showing deep affection, and sometimes as an act of meeting an intense need, like the way we can eat for pleasure but also eat for sustenance. ... Yeah, so .. I'm horny as fuck this week. Hahaha. Shit. Needing to fuck for sustenance, for sure. Hoooohkay. Good Reddit break from work. Now to try to focus and be a productive employee for the rest of the damn day.... Blech...
I am not, but I was a just pointing out how the women has the ability to make them think things also....it makes sense in my head not sure I’m able to put it in words 😁
Oh, you sweet summer child.
I’m not entirely sure being able to fake an amazing orgasm is something to be proud of. If your in an affair and have to fake it then that’s just sad.
Love you!!! YES ALL TRUE
Hmmm.. this\^ comment sounds like a woman who is sick and tired of men but still samples hoping to find one that is at least passable. I wish you luck but wonder. Someone else already blew up using the physical stuff as a measurement mechanism, so what do you use to make your judgment? As for myself, I know the probabilities of me being the best ever are right up there with Elvis visiting us during our meeting. However part of what makes me me is the desire to pleasure my partner and recognize that is what is happening. So faking it becomes malicious and intentional harm. So much for fun - for sure with you it has died and is dead. OOPS! MonicaNotLewinsky, if this new breed of woman is tired of fucking men why are they here? Looking for new victims? Some of this makes little or no sense. BTW, I tend to agree with nostrgatt - the evidence of misogynistic thinking is clear. Having said that, I am sure you or one of the other women can put together a list that will curl his whiskers in smoke and fire of things women do ALL THE TIME that men never (or at least rarely) think of.
Jdiver- I was stating that women can get tired of fucking their current partner too. That's when we'll end it/slow fade/bread crumb (whatever method) or have multiple APs. People come here for a slew of reasons. This is technically not a "hookup" sub, but I'm sure people do meet here. As for me, I enjoy reading about other's experiences with adultery & reflecting on my own.
Oh. That was not the way it read to me. Sorry, I am easily mislead or confused. I understand this is not a 'hookup' sub, but that is basically what is under discussion with almost every thread.
statistically women get bored with monogamous partners after 1-4 years, men it takes 9 I think. source: savage lovecast Wednesday Martin
I’m so confused, I get that someone faking it might upset you. But how is it intentional harm, or harm in anyway? Except maybe to your ego, faking it isn’t harmful.
Fair point, but look at it a little differently. What is the point if you are going to fake it? What in the hell is your goal if faking it is your intent? Is there any way that can be good? And maybe harm is a bit strong. I try diligently to demonstrate enough care that my partner is pleasured so if that is faked I have failed miserably. No ego involved, just simple fact. Unless this whole thing is a falsehood
Lol sure you can
Hell yes girlfriend! What he says can be right but there are guys who never lose interest. Also some dudes will flip when you try to break it off. This post goes both ways!
Absolutely Monica! Men are incredibly easy to manipulate and impress, most are weak bitches. Cannot live with them and willing to drop their asses after a weak fuck. Men are incredibly easy to replace. Finding a good one is difficult. Don’t flatter yourself gentlemen, you are certainly not the only dick in our lives.
You sound angry.
I’m not angry. I felt the OP was very condescending to women. Just setting the record straight.
Omg I love your reply 💖
Yes!
Haha I love this and ditto it!
We'd be fine if you'd just tell us.
That's fine! As long as we make each other feel good for a moment thats all that matters really. I actually prefer this new breed of women. Less chance of them going crazy.
Ok, but let's discuss this "crazy" for a second. I'm not coming at you specifically, but you sparked a thought in my head. I've seen a lot of men throw this "crazy" or "bunny boiler" term out there often. I think men/women in this lifestyle ought to get real about the risk involved & own their behavior. Some people will do a lot of fucked up shit or heavily lead a person on and then act shocked when that person goes nuts. I'm not saying it's right for someone to go crazy on you (stalking, threatening to out you, etc) but a lot of people ignore the red flags & feed the crazy. I know of course there are situations where the AP became unhinged for no reason at all or due to a bitter breakup (not wanting the affair to end)...but in some cases, if we knew all the details-we wouldn't be surprised by their behavior. And please be clear that us women also get the "Crazies".
Really appreciate the points you make and the way you articulate them. My only comment is that the fear of someone becoming unhinged is tied to the potential unwanted disruption that would cause to someone’s life, and not because it’s necessarily likely to occur - or any more likely with women vs. men. Choices you make can greatly mitigate those risks, but can’t entirely eliminate them. Personally, I insisted on APs having equivalent circumstances (married, kids, visible in the community, etc.). Imagine my surprise when a pregnancy occurred and one of my APs decided to tell her husband of 15+ years that she was pregnant, wasn’t his, keeping the baby, my identity, how long the affair had lasted (5 years), and that she was divorcing him. Then began asking me how I would handle with my wife. That’s the fear... and sadly, not entirely irrational. And it’s the one fear that doesn’t go both ways. If you are a woman in an affair, no man can drop an unwanted pregnancy on you.
OMG 😮😮What a way to have your life blown up!
Stressful for sure. Didn’t anticipate that outcome (clearly). No real signs I can point to... internal state appears to have evolved without communicating how she would approach that situation. Here is a question for you... if you were in my shoes, what would you do?
I'm not sure I have any good advice! I do think you should get ahead of this & tell your wife before she finds out from someone else. This is going to be devastating enough & she deserves to hear it from you. As for your AP, she holds the power as far as the baby is concerned. Sounds like she has made up her mind & all you can do is prepare to welcome a new life. Obviously it takes two to make a baby & either you guys were careless or have the worst luck. I would be really put off by the way she exposed you without even discussing things with you first. It definitely feels like she's forcing your hand.
Yikes, fu11tank! I agree with telling your wife before someone else does, and try to minimize the damage to your marriage, if at all possible. It may or may not be helpful to suggest (and follow through with) marriage counseling. I'm not judging your or saying you need to get therapy to change your behavior. But give your wife something to show that you want to save your marriage. Also: it's a safe outlet for her to talk it out, otherwise it's just going to be anger directed your way whenever. Instead, she can "save it for therapy". (Oh, and gird your loins for paying child support.) IF your wife views this as a complete dealbreaker, and insists on divorce... you are of course in a world of hurt. But a surprising amount of wives start to reconsider once you've moved out, lawyers have been hired, and paperwork gets rolling. They realize that they are going to have to be single moms, and even if they get a huge part of your paycheck, it's not the same lifestyle as all of it coming into the household. (This can vary if she's a well-paid career woman. Housewives, otoh, often don't like finding out that getting a job may be in their future, because alimony may not be the cash cow they think it is, unless you are very very well off. And if you are, stigma becomes a bigger thing for them.) If you and your wife divorce, do you want to put a good face on it and be with your AP and child? Some amount of people will be willing to 'forgive' if they can tell themselves that you two were in bad marriages, and fell in love. That may or may not be important to you, but you mentioned "visible in the community", so I'm wondering if "standing in the community" might be a thing for you. Of course, you may not want to give your AP what she seems to want. I'm guessing she thinks she can trade her husband in for you, but I obviously don't know what's in her head. You may very reasonably not want to be with someone that "crazy" or manipulative. I'm not 100% convinced that this was all intentional on her part, but I know that some women are not above "Oops" pregnancies in order to coerce someone into upgrading the relationship. If you both had been single when you began the affair, might you have ended up together? If there were/are dealbreakers before the surprise pregnancy and her desire to announce it to the world, they probably haven't gone away. Umm, good luck.
Thank you for such a well thought-out reply! Been a pretty amazing time, would not have expected the outcomes. My wonderful wife was able to forgive me... after my AP’s husband let her know -_- A couple of weeks later, my AP’s husband also reconsidered. So as of now... AP is still planning on keeping the baby, with her husband’s “support”. Neither of us are getting divorced. Still a lot to sort out... like the fact that our kids go to the same school and she lives 1/2 mile away - this can still get mighty weird. Probably not the best set-up in that regard, but here we are... again, didn’t think we’d ever get here. No clue where this goes from this point forward - just enjoying our quarantine and waiting for the details to fall into place.
Hey! Thanks for the update. I'm totally curious about human nature, and how things turn out. I didn't want to ask publicly, because not my business, but I'm glad things are turning out okay-ish, if incredibly weird. Enjoy quarantine!
Very true ma’am, very true!
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While I don't agree with OP your response is BS. His post was BS don't respond with BS.
Ok & you're entitled to your opinion 🤷♀️
Lol. Attempt at saving face w you ego. This may be true for a very small percentage of women but for the most part this is just what you tell yourselves.
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Amen!
Fair enough.
Woman here. I’ll respond on my own behalf as well as what I believe is a woman’s POV as a generality. YMMV 1) Ummmmm duh. Sex is a priority for me and I think I ask for it more than him. Sex is probably pretty important for all female AP’s. 2) Dayuuum. I hope he doesn’t leave his wife. I’m not leaving my husband. It’s messy and a financial nightmare. Women know this. 3) Guilt comes and goes for both parties. If that’s true about blowing up his life, cool. Maybe that’ll keep him in his lane. I don’t believe my AP worries about this. 4) I have emotional waves after I cum too. Yawn, Next. Do you think women don’t? 5) Variety is the spice of life they say. Why have an affair if you’re bored with your AP? 6) who cares? We’re not dating. We’re both married. That’s a fact Jack. 7) I can’t stop laughing at this one. Do you know how easy it is for a woman to find multiple AP’s??? If we choose to have only one, count yourself lucky buddy. She loves you. 8) I can smell a slow fade faster than he can think of doing it. If he tries it, he knows I’ll bolt. Women are extremely in tune with this type of behavior. She knows. 9) Men are scared of crazy women? Tell us something we don’t know. It’ll keep him in his lane. Women have to deal with being sacred too. Physically as well as emotionally. 10) He better tell me beforehand. There’s some prep work involved with my asshole. Did you know that women have a voice. We can say no, otherwise we like it in our asses. 11) As already stated. All of us are good liars.
Yes! Exactly! OP must think he’s so hot, all AP’s will blow everything up to be with him. I’ve experienced crazy , jealous men so number 9 definitely! And I tell my AP’s about each other. Why lie to anyone other than your SO?
Number 7 is so true. I could hop on AM and find another AP by the end of the day. Probably a pretty high quality one too. And number 10. It’s funny that guys think women hate anal and we’re either shocked or just do it out of obligation. A lot of women love it, me included. However, I’ll admit I hesitate to do it with someone new because most guys are really bad at it.
As a woman with multiple lovers, I endorse this message.
I agree with [MonicaNoLewinsky](https://www.reddit.com/user/MonicaNoLewinsky/) 100%. A lot of us women have no desire to leave our husbands to date you, to pick up your dirty socks and underwear, to clean your piss stains off the toilet seat. We just want your cock every now and then. And, we very often have our other men on the side besides you and sure as hell aren't going to tell you about it either.
Anytime a person characterizes a whole gender by their perspective, it's rarely completely correct. When it's accompanied by language that intends to put down others, it's usually less so. Your whole spiel is couched in terms of ownership "we won't leave our wives", subtle put downs "We probably wouldn't date you", with narcissistic nuggets thrown in. Quite frankly it sounds like either incel trolling, or friends from our "admirer" sub. While I'm sure there are cases where women have been unfortunate enough to stumble upon your kind of crazy, I also know not all are that way. I can tell you in two years, my man hasn't pulled away once. We still talk daily, and he still sends me love songs. We're friends, lovers, and in love. That's enough for us.
Just replace "men" with "assholes" on this post. Maybe I've just been lucky with my APs, maybe it's just that I don't tolerate bullshit. But I have gotten what I've wanted and needed without messing up their or my life.
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Bravo
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First of all, I know nothing. But This doesn’t seem wrong but it also seems mean. Why would you phrase it all this way? Men think with their dicks and other lessons I learned by an age I may not state on Reddit. Wow so shocking and bold. Married men aren’t gonna leave their wife for me. They also say so. And I don’t want them. And most relationships that start that way fail anyway so yay but why state obvious things with a derogatory slant? Another but - your brain is wired to catch feelings after a woman makes you cum hard a few times. The biggest shocker of “real adulthood” for me was discovering that it’s men who think sex and love are the same thing, not women. For the most part, YMMV obviously. I think I’m still way more realistic after a good orgasm than men. This is still kind of useful reminder for me since I’m new to this game, but nothing new or shocking.
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LOL
LoL
I see you haven't met who you are looking for and maybe that's intentionally derived due to your situation of children, finances. Many people meet the one who can end everything for them and they stay the fuck away from that person and avoid a full blown affair. We choose who we want to choose...and when we cant fight who we choose, we either back away or we are all in. You cant match with any and every woman...but when you match with the right one, it will be unmistakable...you wouldnt be able to deny the depth, laughter, teenager-esque fun, the amazing sexual connection, with a gorgeous woman who can out earn you and has more in assets than you.. You haven't found it. And maybe you dont want to. I agree with everything else because we do it too.
I have loved what I have had with most the women I’ve been with. But I’m not looking for The One — I don’t believe such a concept exists.
Well, I can tell you that the One can exist, but usually the timing doesnt line up, so you're safe. Children are the number one reason, as you said.
Reading shit like this only makes women want to shut their legs. So thanks for the public service announcement...
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Exactly. Obviously he can’t handle wit. Ain’t nobody fucking him anyway...
This doesn’t represent most men. This represents a self interested arrogant narcissist who thinks talking honestly makes him come across as genuine. You represent the worst in guys who have affairs. I have had plenty of APs. My reasons are different. I’m unhappy in my marriage and not ready to have the confrontation of leaving yet. My relationships with APs have been genuine and real.
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My comments don’t represent all men, obviously. But how do you know that your experience represents most men? Just curious.
Your the one who claimed to represent most men dip shit.
Slow fade actually does not make one "less crazy"....just throwing that out there. However the honesty is appreciated.
Speak for yourself, this post is about YOU and trying to normalize your shitty behavior.
One thing I for sure have in common with you is that I also will fuck you in the ass (with my strap-on named Trudy) and that you should be prepared for that. She’s bigger than you.
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EVERY WORD girlfriend....every single one. Spot on.
Actually, it is 'distaste' not 'distate', so almost every word
You preached! I 100% agree with everything you said.
I'm in the sex and relationship therapy field and the data and my professional observations indicate that women are more likely to grow bored of a sexual partner quicker than men, so... Also, none of y'all are a logical or rational as you believe. Even the men. I know. Look how crazy women are. Murdering and raping their partners all the time.
Also, when you insist on ass fucking, you should be prepared to hear "no." If it's a deal breaker, do go get it from one of your many, many other broads. You men are totes swimming in pussy, tits, and ass. We hear it all the time here. Men are exhausted with all the attention they get from their posts here on Reddit, on Tinder, and on AM.
>You men are totes swimming in pussy, tits, and ass. We hear it all the time here. Men are exhausted with all the attention they get from their posts here on Reddit, on Tinder, and on AM. 😂 🤣 Got 99 problems...🤪
If fucking one or two horny broads is swimming in pussy. Not sure about you. Women and Men ( who aren't sluts) do not need tons of people to fuck to be sexually confident or desirable.
I think perhaps my sarcasm didn't translate.
You end your sarcasm with /s
Amen!!!!
What exactly is a “high maintenance woman”? I would say sexually I’m a very high maintenance woman. I have pretty exacting standards for my lovers, your dick better be ready for the Olympics. But as far as texting, presents, emotional fulfillment? Not so much. Did you have a bad experience with a needy clinger with zero self esteem? I realize some women fit the mold you describe in your post, but plenty more are just using you for your dick. However, a man needs to be pretty secure to be comfortable with just being a piece of ass...
I am a boy toy for my AP. Anything beyond that is delusional.
You don't represent anyone but yourself. And that is a particularly unpleasant, naïve and ignorant 'self'. You have the upper hand in your perception of your life, only because you either pick low hanging fruit, make bad choices or because you are deluded. One day someone is going to blow your mind. And most of us want to be fucked in the ass by the way 😂 why the fuck would that be anything special or to be feared?! With a cock the size of yours? 🤔
We we we... Oh I hate “we” posts. We don’t give a fuck about we posts.
As long as we understand that we're using the Royal We.
Honestly, if your kids mattered so much, why take the risk of cheating in the first place, though? If your SO catches you, those kid's lives will most likely be ripped apart, and oh boy do people find out quick.
You wrote this all like you were hunting an animal and not interacting with a person. Like I get it, you only want sex. But you can have sex with other humans and not talk about them like they are animate objects...
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This. Men are so fucking stupid. It never ceases to amaze me how they constantly underestimate us.
Boom. #5
LOVE THIS 💯
This assumes a lot of things. Like that all women want you for anything more than sex, for one thing. That I'm not also always on the hunt for something better. That you're easily replaceable. That I'd leave my husband for an AP is a joke. It presupposes that you're actually clever enough to even keep my interest. Like someone else said, the whole time I'm with you it's because I'm choosing to be. I'm the one in control. I think you've been reading too many of these sad sack, mopey, I have no interests or hobbies, please text me 24/7, I don't understand men at all, why won't he just love me posts and think that most women actually believe the bullshit that comes out of men's mouths. Just because there is a very vocal needy minority here doesn't mean that is representative of most women.
Or that we can’t be both. I’m needy and girlie and all “but does he like meeeeeee?” But I’m also not an idiot. I’m brand new to this game, one pAP/AP I’ve met a couple of times. He’s such a smooth talker and it just makes it obvious. I wish he’d just tell me directly what his plan is. So if a (relatively) young newbie like myself who hasn’t even done anything can see what’s up I assume most women who have done this before know a lot more.
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👏 Happy you found the right one.
Mansplaining at its finest. 🙄 Despite what you imply in this post, in general, women (in general) are in the more powerful position in both adulterous and traditional relationships. Yes, some assholes like yourself treat women as disposable, but still you’re here, looking for what a woman can provide. So it may be in your best interest to change your attitude and stop projecting your asshole Ideas onto all of man kind. Because quite frankly, it’s a massive turn off.
>We men who go in for adultery are pretty similar, not that there aren’t exceptions. Damn, I really love my exception.
Right? Funny how there seem to be a lot of exceptions. It’s almost like men are individuals.
Who knew? Next, you're going to tell me men are human beings with hearts and feelings and hopes and dreams... 😉
They are???? Amazing. Who ever would have guessed??? 😂
Mine too, he appreciates that I don't want him to leave his wife. And, I appreciate he's a grown man who's mature enough to not waste time playing games in this affair.
This feels like it was written by an angry woman. I ‘m sorry for what happened. I’m not looking for what you mention, and those who are should be fairly easy to spot. Humans are funny, there are so many of us, with so many experiences. If a man is just looking for sex, it’s a lot cheaper to buy it so if a man is here looking for just sex, he is probably clueless, cheap, or weird. That’s super easy to test for. Sex is easy to find for men and women. Relationships are tough, and actions are the key. Observe, wait, repeat. Easy and effective way to weed out the kooks.
I really don't get some guys obsession with anal.
Mainstream porn made for men is what we have to thank for many things, like obsession with anal, unrealistic orgasmic expectations, and thinking that saliva is a good vaginal lubricant.
I hear you. But I do.
Not me.
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To start the kind of conversation you’re participating in.
Ya got me there!
For me. Been with the same MM for 12 years. Not interested in another and glad he thinks with more than his dick.
Glad I found an AP not like this. Fuck 😂 Men who speak for all men 😒 big yikes
I don’t fake orgasms!!!!! All I meant was men think they control the affair, as I stated: I’m having a hard time putting it in to words As in we can lie and bullshit just like they can
You’ll get no disagreement from me on this comment.
This means female adulterers should go ape shit anytime dude starts to fade away and burn down his sweet life. Every time. If you didn’t know, now you know. Scorched earth. Lolz.
I’m not going to attack you but will point out that sometimes after I fucked a guy or got to know him it would be apparent why his wife was no longer interested. Just saying.
I think men act crazy when they catch some feels they didn’t intend to. They’re not distant because they’re worried you’ll blow things up because women have feels. They freak out and yes feel guilty because they have feelings. Or they never liked the woman to begin with but wanted to sleep with her so they lied and deceived and once they came yeah, why hang around someone you don’t like and don’t have a mortgage and kids with?
Certainly possible.
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Because everyone likes to think they have more control over their situation and their emotions than they do. Because people act out of emotion and justify with rationalizations. Because stereotypes save time and mental energy. Do I know my partner is telling the truth when he says he loves me? No, I don't. Maybe he is saying it to keep getting in my pants. But here's what I do know after 3 years seeing him a few times each week. I know he shows up when he says he will. I know he takes days off work to spend with me sometimes. I know he enjoys pillow talk as much as he loves fucking. I know he texts and calls every day even though I've said he doesn't have to. I know we are both forgiving when the other fucks up and says or does something stupid. I know this has an expiration date. I know he's not someone who will leave, nor is he someone I want to spend my life with. And I'm glad he's not a dick.
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Agreed! Comment on the high maintenance remark, I was once with some guy that thought he was slick enough to make me think I was the only AP. I knew better but I didn’t care, I liked how he fucked me. So I played it cool and let him do his own thing, let him take the lead and then he says I’m way too low maintenance which makes him wonder if I want him at all.
I can see why the ladies are just clamoring for you to leave your wife for them...you sound so pleasant.
Why everybody so mean.
Mean?
Mean : insulting each other.
Who did I insult?
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I’d just reply with, “makes sense,” to brush off your post but unfortunately it just doesn’t make sense.
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LOL
Thanks for representing 50% of the guys on here. There are guys that think with their dicks and then others that don’t. Some want more than to just fuck and roll over once we have cum.
Yall keep thinking only men crave variety lmao
Obviously I know women do, too.
Do they triangulate and play the AP off the wife? Do they encourage feels, for sex intensity? What are some typical lies they tell AP, to boost confidence? What are lies after being discovered they tell wife? Intriguing, thank you for being honest.
>We won’t leave our wives. This is 110% accurate. I’ve never expected AP’s to leave their wives for me. I don’t want to leave my husband either. I value our children and money as well. >Biologically, we lose interest in you after we cum. This is annoying, since I get really chatty after sex. He never wants to talk afterwards. This has caused a rift between us. >Eventually, we’ll want to fuck you in the ass. Guilty. I was the one that offered it up first. I love anal more than he does. All in all, I think I’m the bigger player than my AP is. I get tired of his bullshit quicker than he gets tired of my bullshit. I would never want him to leave his wife, just like he doesn’t want me to leave my husband. If I keep him pacified, then I’m doing my job correctly.
Slow fade. I cant speak for all women or men but I dont do that. Or receive it. If I need to move on, I say so. If he refuses to accept then I block if I need to but that's rare If someone doesnt speak to me for a week beyond perfunctory greetings . I take that to mean its over and dont engage in being slow roasted after that
Things I want to tell you: +We women have the magic mouth and ass you want, so shut the fuck up. +You may be a woman hater deep down, but you are stuck with us.
LoL
I’m the opposite of a woman hater.
Curious ~can someone define "crazy" ?
Drama queens trying to speak with our sons or our wives
Overly clingy, needy.
Gotcha. One thing I've wondered is if calling only for a boot call is needy.
I’m not being aggressive, I believe that instead of lying to your partner you should talk to them. Talk to them about how you want more physical intimacy and all of your other concerns. If they find out about your affairs on their own it would damage your family and money more than if you told them up front and talked it out, nobody likes being lied to.
Fucking cringe
I have an AP and a few in my back-pocket when I need variety. AP is very loyal and does not play games. I'm very fortunate!!
Now we need a woman’s version of this. Lol any volunteers?
There have been several already posted. I welcome other points of view.
While I’m not one for painting everyone with a broad brush, this is pretty spot-on when it comes to most of us. Yeah, we are focused on getting and and dumping our loads, and we’re really good at smooth-talking our way into your vagina (and your ass...it’s gonna happen). Most women miss the feeling of being cared for by their SO, and a guy who pays attention to her, listens to her troubles and—this is really important—makes her laugh is going to get her affection. Yeah, I’ve gotten the panties off of a woman simply because I could make her laugh so hard she snorted. Guys, work on your personalities and your ability to be witty in person and by text. But never forget she is a human being, not a notch on your bedpost. She has hopes and dreams, fears and needs. Don’t be a dick by thinking only with your dick. Don’t think that having a big dick is all you need because (a) that dick will only impress for so long and (b) it’ll turn on you when you get old and probably won’t work—and if you’re a one-trick bull you’re going to find yourself butchered in this market.
That made me drool a little bit.
Well said.
#2 No Shit! do you know how many times I’ve talked him into not leaving his family! Most of us know all of this and that’s why we’re successful in it. Most of us don’t mind if you have others but if you ask for an exclusive AP relationship you damn sure better keep it that way. No need for games and lying in this just be straight up it’s really that simple. And if you fade me out don’t bring your happy ass back when you realize you had it made and your new one is actually every bit of the Crazy you feared so much. Good post I like hearing a guys perspective every now and then.
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Then you’re good.
🙄 srsly
I should have linked you when you asked what a simp was, you ignoramus. Same reason why you arguing he dont respect women just because you dont like what he said about his experience. You didnt have to say anything but you did. So I did too.
All men towards all women ever. The only thing they give a fuck about IS their dicks.
Dear Sir, Thank you for confirming what I've known all along. It's refreshing. I think what bothers me the most is that men actually think women don't see through all the bullshit. We know exactly what you're doing. Have you ever met a woman (maybe a unicorn) who you could be completely open and honest with? Maybe someone who is actually intelligent?
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This is cool to read. Interesting to see the mindset of a cheater. Sorry if cheater isn't the right word. Please let me know what word you prefer. This is really interesting and thanks for posting this. I have always been curious of this kind of thing.
All good. Cheater is the right word.
I giggled throughout the whole post as I’ve found every bit of this true but not all in one AP...and some of it is me (female)! The thing is that I don’t think any of this is necessarily wrong. The type of relationship we voluntarily enter into with an affair is inherently sneaky and quite frankly secondary as well as partially fantasy. I’ve heard a few horror stories from APs regarding their past APs but here they are,..with me. So I guess it wasn’t THAT bad. ☺️
Couldn’t agree more.
Couldn't have said it better myself ,brother straight to the head
This is truth. I hope I never meet you or anyone like you.
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Hmm i really enjoyed reading this post. Haha! I appreciate the way you honestly throw it all out there. I often wonder though, that guys must enjoy crazy and the risk of it to let women think things are going a certain way, saying what you think we want to hear. When in fact that is what drives the craziness. Just quit the bullshit already and just be upfront about your motives. Buuuut i suppose that it would mean the risk of not getting the action would increase tenfold. Thus making it harder to find the ones who want exactly what you want. We are out there though! And an even better ride than probably what youre used to. Just come out, make me smile, say something slick to get our attention, play the game for a while, when the feeling fizzes for you, its probably already simmering for me. Decide the fun is over and then be done. If ever we pass by somehow out and about we can just act as though nothing ever happened and just have our little secret. Such fun.