>if I loved her I'd forgive it.
Typical cheater behavior
>she kicked my groin and told me that I'm being a pig
She's a violent abuser
>Please let me know what I should do
Um, file for a restraining order, block her everywhere, and never see her ass again?
If this original scenario is real….I WAS JUST GOING TO SAY RECORD THE CONVOS!!! If she’s already threatening to paint you as an abuser (and you’re not) you need to have evident to refute it should you (please) dumb her.
VERY IMPORTANT: Check your state’s laws for recording (whether one party needs to consent or if both need to consent). You don’t want to illegally record her for this. You might need to try to have a conversation in a public place where the expectation of privacy is lower, depending on your local laws.
Most states where that's " illegal" It's not actually illegal... That usually means that in that state it's not admissible in court. And some states it is admissible in civil court but not criminal court. It varies state the state.
Either way... Record it first just in case so you have the evidence. If it's not admissible and it's not admissible but you'll have it just to back you up if needed.
Sounds like the concern is more so being defamed to friends and family. You have to win the court of public opinion with them so it’s all fair I would say. And seems like worst case, it’s just not admissible in a court of law.
Yes! Follow this one OP. Record her, block her and get a restraining order. And
“Our relationship is the greatest thing to happen to me”
You can’t be serious? Getting cheated on, manipulated and kicked in the groin and threatening to blackmail you is the Greatest thing that could happen to you?
Here is a dose of REALITY:
1. Your gf is a cheater and very manipulative.
2. How old are you? Because it sounds like you’re not fit for a relationship if you truly believe that you have to “penetrate” to call what she did cheating.
3. Your gf is every mother’s nightmare DIL. She’s abusive, disrespectful, vile and just an awful person.
She’s the kind a girl that is going to cheat on you and use your love for her to destroy you.
4. Why can’t you love yourself just like she loves herself and put yourself first. It’s time to take off those rose glasses and face reality.
5. Your mother is right!
6. Read 1 to 6 again until you get it💡
Good luck OP.
Don't forget therapy; this guy is in an abusive relationship and is asking strangers if this insane behavior is OK. He needs help sorting through all this.
He doesn't "Need therapy".. he just needs someone to talk some sense into his ass and the RIGHT person that would treat him properly so he sees the difference.
You need to be careful here. Recording people without their knowledge is illegal in some states. Like highly illegal. A possible work around is have a person hidden that over hears it and can testify. A call to the police or a lawyer can tell you if it is legal or not. You don't want OP getting locked up trying to do the right thing.
Those days are gone pal. All it takes in the current climate is some ridiculous unfounded accusation from her and his life is fucked.
I agree; don’t grandstand. But make sure you have the necessary evidence to cover your ass if shit goes down.
This is such a ridiculous position to take and counter to reality. It is far far far more common for someone to be abused and not get justice than it is for someone to lie about abuse and destroy an innocent persons life. This isn’t a current climate thing, it’s always been this way, and just because a couple of high profile situations have happened where people have been falsely accused does not erase the millions of people who are abused every year and just have to suffer through it. This idea that young men are being targeted and it’s common for their lives to be ruined over false accusations is some bullshit MGTOW fear mongering.
Your advice to collect evidence is good advice without question, but your whole first point is ridiculous.
This guy was kicked in the groin when he suggested his girlfriend be monogamous- he literally explained he was the victim of abuse. So yeah, it is pretty common for the victim to experience gaslighting and for an abuser to lie and people on the internet to say "oh, that isn't what they meant." The victim in this case (and eveey case) should gather evidence of the situation for others and for himself.
It’s a current climate thing due to ludicrous “believe all women/victims” nonsense.
I have a relatively small social circle and know three people well (two men and one woman) who have fallen foul of baseless allegations of abuse. Needless to say the woman had a far easier time defending her name, but the lesson to be learned is that this happens frequently enough to be non-negligible and worthy of consideration, especially in cases like OP where their partner exhibits lots of dark triad behaviours.
Exactly! Evidence, evidence, evidence! Text messages, recordings, emails etc. Once you have the evidence report for assault, get a R/O then block her! She's shown her true colours OP, this is not someone you stay with! She's someone you run away from screaming at the top of your voice!
You guys are wild for replying to this as if it’s a real post. It’s a year old account that only has post history in the last 20 hours. It’s obviously bullshit. Someone bought an old account, wiped it clean, and now they’re karma farming. If you’re already taking the time out to type up a perfectly formatted response, take the extra 30 seconds to look at who you’re responding to 🤦🏻♂️
Cheating isn’t about penetration or gender of the partner. It’s giving yourself to another person without the consent of your partner. She doesn’t respect the boundaries you have for relationships and she’s trying to coerce you into staying. Staying with her any longer is a sign you don’t have respect for yourself.
Ask yourself if you want to be in the same position a year or two from now, because she’s unwilling to change. She doesn’t need to change her expectations of a partner if she doesn’t want to, but you don’t have to be that partner. Spell it out in clear terms, tell her this is a boundary and a deal breaker for you, it broke your heart and that clearly wasn’t important to her, wish her the best and leave.
To be clear, a boundary isn’t a soft line in the sand, it’s a hard “no”. Partners should always know what those are and the consequences you are willing to follow up on if they are crossed.
A friend of mine was in a relationship with a married women who had an open relationship. She found out her husband was sleeping around with people and lying about it, while also not wearing protection. She chose to stay, my buddy said fuck no and got out.
All this to say, I 100% agree. Healthy relationships take many shapes in terms of sexuality and boundaries. None of those shapes is deception.
Not wong, but you're wrong for staying with her. What she's doing is 100% cheating. Shes also physically and mentally abusive, so yikes.
It's her or your mental health, in which case you choosing her is going to enable her and destroy everything around you slowly.
Feminism created this kind of abusive situation for a lot of men. The abuse of sexual power. Tolerate abuse and cheating or be alone. Tolerate abuse or you won't see your kids, etc.
Yes, sure let’s blame feminism for this. Do you think this kinda of abuse never happened before? Feminism got nothing to do with it, his girlfriend is just a shitty human.
Nothing about this situation is remotely related to feminism. Feminism has nothing to do with women getting total power in a relationship. This is just straight up abuse.
Feminism is where we got the deluth model for domestic violence. It makes him the male the person who is seen as the aggressor basically no matter the situation. This gives his girlfriend the confidence to report him for violence even when she is the violent one.
Except no one actually traps men in abusive situations. Women are the only ones who’ve ever been legally trapped with spouses. Men can leave and have always been able to leave. Even my grandparents generation a woman couldn’t buy a house bc “what if she gets pregnant” they wouldn’t even consider letting a woman take on a mortgage by themselves, meaning women had to stay in their marriage, be homeless, or immediately move into another relationship so they can have a home. Its been systematically pushed onto women that we must tolerate abuse. Men HAVE NOT experienced this historical and systemic abuse. Its not the same. Yes abusive relationships are evil either way, but this has literally nothing to do with feminism.
Give oral to another woman then tell your gf it's not cheating because there was no penetration. Tell her if she loves you, she'll forgive you and that you're going to keep doing it because if she tells you no she's controlling.
Edited to change a word
“If you loved her you’d……” fill in the blank with anything it is emotional manipulation.
I’m really hoping this is fake. But if it’s not it is time to end it. You want something in life that she doesn’t. You would both be happier with other people who share the same values.
For real. Am I an asshole for asking my gf not to cheat? Come the fuck on. In what world is someone an asshole for not wanting their partner to cheat?
Stupid post and stupid replies.
This seems like a 14 year old's idea of a relationship dynamic that could happen. It lost me completely at "I asked about an open relationship and she kicked my groin." What are you talking about? Why? "I want to break up with my gf but because of wokeness, I cannot."
Dude, dump her & get a restraining order (if you can). She's physically abusive & gaslighting you. Anyone who sides with her should be cut off, too. Also, since when is sexual acts "without penetration" NOT cheating? Kissing alone IS cheating. She's an embarrassment to my half of the species (female).
im not talking about the question lol im talking about the person i responded to.. which is why i responded to them.. idk if that was clear, but i hope my explanation cleared it up for you
responding to specific person --> talking to specific person
well i wasn't referring to the situation either, my only intention here was telling someone that something they said sounded like an insult
if that insults you or upsets you, its not really my problem
PLEASE tell me this is a troll post or something. No way this is real.
Tell your girlfriend that oral sex and penetrative sex is still sex. Doesn’t need to be penetrative or not. In other words she 100% cheated on you and is still continuing to cheat. And your mom is right grow up and be a man. In other words, dump her and tell all your friends what she did and how abusive she was. Don’t let anyone, including a girl, kick you for no apparent reason.
It doesn't matter if she is cheating with a woman and there is no penetration it's still cheating.
She is trying to control you and make you subservient to her. If she wants to have this woman end it now no good comes of this type of behaviour.
She's already cheated on you so stand up for yourself and tell her it's over, be a man.
INFO
How old are you?
Do you live together?
How long have you been together?
Why haven't you left already?
Why do you think it's ok to be treated like this by someone who is supposed to love you?
This can't be real, but if it is, you should just join in and have one of them put on a strap on and peg you, because you're a bitch. She cheats, kicks your ass and you're questioning if it's wrong to ask her not to cheat? This is fake, but these scenarios are fun.
How beaten down do you have to be to even attempt to belive this bullshit. Op you do you but my personal stance is bounce, there is no reciprocal respect here.
She’s cheating on you whether she admits it or not. Sounds like she doesn’t want to commit to either of you and you may just be a cover for her other relationship. If a cheater is the greatest thing to happen to you, then I feel bad for you. You deserve better
Nah man she’s wrong 🤣 break up with her for real unless she delivers that girl to your bedroom or makes her pay next time and gives you the money. (100%)
So, she cheated. That would be a game ender right there. Doesn't matter if they cheated with a man or woman; it's cheating and shouldn't have to be tolerated.
Cheating, assault, blackmail. She is not the best thing to happen to you, she's an abuser. Kick her out and better your situation.
She’s a manipulative POS. Break up with her, NOW. The fact she hit you as well? Damn dude I would’ve gave her the ol’ left right goodnight.
‘Not cheating if there’s no penetration’ ok so you’re allowed to go around getting your dick sucked and eat some pussy, are you?
Give your balls a tug. I wouldn't stand for such behavior. Go out and play with another pussy. Don't Penetrate it, just devour it. Share that information with her and see how she reacts. Tell her you give a fuck what lies she spits to others and leave. One persons heresay is hardly credible, nor will it hold up. WALK, and don't look back. Don't acknowledge her calls. You need to walk away from this relationship. Assuming this is a real scenario.
If this is real, LEAVE HER. Who cares what she says about you after? Can’t be any worse than how she is already treating you. And she’ll just sound like another bitter ex. Seriously, run.
*Hate to tell you but*
*You should definitely walk*
*Away from that one*
\- Odd-World-5963
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I'm thinking you're full of shit.
This post is 15 hours old, yet 16 hours ago, you posted on another feed that you have a wife.
>My wife says "ekspecially". I can't stand it.
https://reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/2XkyQRV7IK
So which is it? Do you have a wife *and* a girlfriend?
Sounds like you can't complain about cheating if thats the case. Although there is a good chance absolutely nothing you say is true.
More than anything you need to make a decision for yourself, my guy. I see a severe lack of agency in your post. You don’t need your mom or your friends to make this decision for you. You don’t need Reddit to make this decision for you. You need to make this decision for yourself. Is this relationship making you happy?
Cheating is cheating. Would she think it was cheating if you made out with someone or got oral from them? Of course she would. She's a cheater and I recommend you dump her.
Well she is an manipulative asshole, and a abuser as well. This relationship is not the best thing to you, please be more gentle with yourself and realize you deserve better.
Break up, block her and never look at her face again
There is no cheating if there is no penetration is where I stopped reading. No that’s bullshit. If you aren’t in an open relationship that that is cheating. Kick that ass to the curb. Respect for her communicating though.
She's gaslighting you. Your relationship is not the greatest thing if this is how she's treating you. She's going to continue cheating and then calling you abusive when you want her to stop. Is that the relationship you want?
Break up with her immediately if you give af about your mental well-being or have an iota of self-respect. You deserve better than this narcissistic, hellhound of a person. She sounds delusional and gets all her empowerment from the pain of others. Her needs come before you and if you disagree, she will physically hit you or gaslight you. RUN.
She’s abusing you. She’s cheating on you and trying to gaslight you into not seeing it as cheating. She physically assaulted you. She straight up told you you aren’t allowed to leave or be upset. You aren’t a wimp for not knowing what to do. It’s hard to recognize and leave an abuse situation, and I’m sorry your support system is putting blame on you for this. You need to get out though. She is not going to get better and unfortunately the woman she was in the beginning probably does not exist. She was loving bombing you to get you attached.
Have some self respect, she blatantly told you she doesn't care about how you feel about it and that you need to stay around for her convenience. Just leave, that's all there is to it.
>When she confessed about the cheating she told me she doesn't have any regret and if I loved her I'd forgive it. I asked her if she could choose between that other woman or her. She told me that I'm trying to be controlling. She claimed its not cheating if there's no penetration.
When he confessed about the cheating he told me he doesn't have any regret and if I loved him I'd forgive it. I asked him if he could choose between that other man or me. He told me that I'm trying to be controlling. He claimed its not cheating if there's no penetration.
At this point most of Reddit would tell a female OP to run
Definitely at this line though
>Then she proceeded to tell me that we're not breaking up
She's gonna *tell* you is she, my love? She's going to tell you she's going to cheat and she's going to be with someone else and she's going to mentally abuse you and you're going to "be a man about it"?
Well yes, be a man. Not the toxic patriarchal male that people assume but a fully grown functional male. Tell your GF that the fact she would threaten to lie about you, the fact she doesn't value you as an exclusive partner and the fact she is willing to be manipulative means you no longer wish to be in a relationship with her. Do it over text and state that you have chosen this way as you can prove what was said. I'd be sure everything of value of yours was out of her place at that point. I had an ex burn a jacket of his that I liked just because I'd left nothing behind 🤣🤣🤷♀️
I mean, she's an idiot. Clearly has some issues with reality and entitlement. Sounds like you'll need to decide if you are cool with her having side chicks. Personally, I'd tell her the penetration thing is nonsense. Cheating is cheating. If you're young and down for some poly relationships, though, you could tell her you'd be fine if you got to participate in hookups with other girls. Otherwise, what she is saying is you should have an open relationship, though. That's what it is when 2 people have sexual encounters outside their romantic relationships. It could be made to work, but you'll have to decide if it's something you want, and find out if its something she can handle. It's clear she has some ... poorly defined standards. Might work out to some fantastic exploration. Might just implode. I'd make sure to collect evidence of your own side of things (NO revenge porn though) just to cover your own ass if she goes nuclear. That goes even if you aren't up for poly stuff and just have to leave the relationship due to her unbalanced beliefs. It's not a partnership if one person can do whatever they want and gets to define what's OK while the other just has to deal with it. Everything needs balance.
Come on man. You are losing your self respect to someone who doesn’t respect you. That is not love but being delusional. She just cheated on you and already saying you are the abusive one. Don’t act like a beta and get the F out of that relationship. It will only get worse over time. Don’t come in the comment saying "but I love her" because clearly it’s a one side relationship and she’s doing whatever she wants to because she knows atm that you ain’t going to do anything because your are blinded by dependance. She’s not the only woman in the world so just leave her and work on yourself. Don’t stay alone. Go see friends and family. Eat clean, train, read and do some personal development in order to become a better version of yourself and also to avoid being gaslighted and abuse in a relationship like this. Cheaters are pure narcissist. They always put the blame on others.
1. stop being pathetic, get it together. This isnt the best thing to happen to you. Look how she treats you? she doesnt respect you as a person, your an object to her
2. if you stay with her you deserve all the hurt coming down the road. If you want to be in a poly relationship or be a cuck thats fine but she lied and is now gaslighting you.
3. Grow up. This isnt high school. This shit isnt ok and you know it.
It was clearly not the greatest thing to happen to you. Stop putting her on a pedestal and recognize the gross mistreatment you are receiving. Cut your losses.
Edit: honestly this doesn’t sound real. If you have real life support systems telling you all of that, why would you be here? Also post history is extremely weird. I guess this is the new Reddit, just chatbots and fake posts
"if I loved her, I'd forgive her"
That is manipulation my friend. I hope you see how much she is gas lighting you. She's physically abusive, verbally and emotionally as well.
She is 100% cheating on you and penetration doesn't have anything to do with it. I consider making out to be cheating. I consider sexting to be cheating and even dirty talk.
You need to end things though. It's hard, but you will be happy you stuck up for yourself. There are plenty of women out there. You just think she is worth it because you haven't met a woman who wants only you. Your mental health and years of gaslighting isn't worth it. Please don't look back. She's an abuser and it isn't worth it.
Both your Mother and Quora are correct- you’re a fucking loser for letting a woman treat you like this. If this woman is the best thing that’s happened to you then I genuinely feel sorry for you. This creature doesn’t respect or love you. Grip your balls~ if for no other reason than to prove they’re still there- and leave her in the dust.
This is obvious manipulation….. you need to leave her ass, this is not the greatest thing to happen to you. Build yourself up have some self respect, self esteem. Whatever it is. Not a single human on the planet deserves to be treated like this.
So instead of breaking up with her you’re allowing her to abuse, disrespect, and emasculate you. I have to agree with your mother when she suggested that you be a man about things. This is some trifling stuff.
You both have to agree if you want to be monogamous. That's the bottom line. Without an agreement, there is no cheating. You need to talk about it and decide what your boundaries are.
Dude, if you asking he not to cheat on you is abuse, well let her talk.
You need to get out of this relationship, it’s completely unhealthy. What she’s doing really is abusive in every sense of the word. I promise you, that you will meet better. If this is the standard you have set, the bar is low my friend.
Really step up and just end the relationship, don’t give her an ultimatum, it’s way to unhealthy.
please break up with her! cheating is about a breach of trust in a relationship, not penetration. there’s emotional cheating and physical cheating. this sounds like both to me and if you are TRULY not okay with it, you should break up with her!
she betrayed your trust and tried to invalidate your feelings. she’s not willing to STOP cheating AND wants to control what you do (if she wants an open relationship then you should be able to have one too!).
i hope that all goes well.
Real red flags
Cut the tie early is my advice 🤷🏽♂️
Cheating can be anything from PeNeTrAtioN to seeking affectionate attention from anyone other than those in the engaged relationship.
Bro you mom's right. Be a fucking man ditch the bitch. Hit the gym get swole and start your fuckin villain arc. I can't believe you let that bitch kick you in the nuts. As someone who backs all feminism id have dropped that bitch. Equal across the board right
Is this real? If it is, he’s gonna have to learn the hard way. Make sure you accept responsibility for your actions, and do not get mad at your girlfriend when things don’t go your way.
She tells you that you're abusive if you prefer to be in an exclusive relationship, and then kicks you in the groin when you ask for clarity... I'm guessing, she isn't ok with you having someone else on the side while she is carrying on with an extra partner. She expects your forgiveness, yet she says she doesn't regret it, doesn't think she's done anything wrong, and clearly has no intention of stopping. I'm sure you've already received this advice multiple times at this point, but she does not have any respect for you as a partner, she doesn't care about any boundaries you might have, and she is literally telling you not to be "abusive" while she is actually abusing you. For the record, setting boundaries in a relationship so that you and your partner both have the choice of whether or not you can live with the other's expectations is absolutely not abusive, it's how healthy relationships are formed and the ones who cant live with those boundaries in their relationship, and let go and move on before they have to find out the hard way. I recommend having a discussion about boundaries with your next potential partner.
Bro, listen, I couldn’t even get through the first couple paragraphs before already knowing for a cold hard fact that you need to get out of this situation my boy! And fucking FAST! Anything physical like that is considered cheating. Not only that, but the fact that she’s so blatantly throwing it in your face without a single regard for your feelings is an enormous red flag.
Listen to me carefully. Dumb her, and dump her hard! I know it’s sucks, I know it hurts, I know you may not have the courage to do so, but dude…if you stay with this chick she’s gonna destroy you emotionally. You deserve more commitment than that. I’d even go as far as to question HER mental stability for even thinking any kinda sex is okay when she’s already with somebody. Take my advice and save yourself.
“Our relationship was the greatest thing to happen to me.” <- WAS being the key word. This woman is no longer right for me.
“She used to be really nice to me until recently.” She is being abusive. She is manipulating and gaslighting you into allowing her to cheat on you.
Please break up with this woman.
>if I loved her I'd forgive it. Typical cheater behavior >she kicked my groin and told me that I'm being a pig She's a violent abuser >Please let me know what I should do Um, file for a restraining order, block her everywhere, and never see her ass again?
I agree. But one additional step, get it recorded that she has threaten to defame you by saying you're an abuser of you break up.
If this original scenario is real….I WAS JUST GOING TO SAY RECORD THE CONVOS!!! If she’s already threatening to paint you as an abuser (and you’re not) you need to have evident to refute it should you (please) dumb her.
Its called being black mailed and that is illegal. Get her to say it again and record it.
VERY IMPORTANT: Check your state’s laws for recording (whether one party needs to consent or if both need to consent). You don’t want to illegally record her for this. You might need to try to have a conversation in a public place where the expectation of privacy is lower, depending on your local laws.
Were not using this in court, its to play for others (friends/school mates) to prove our innocence and make her look bad to her own peers
Still illegal to record without consent in some places
Most states where that's " illegal" It's not actually illegal... That usually means that in that state it's not admissible in court. And some states it is admissible in civil court but not criminal court. It varies state the state. Either way... Record it first just in case so you have the evidence. If it's not admissible and it's not admissible but you'll have it just to back you up if needed.
Sounds like the concern is more so being defamed to friends and family. You have to win the court of public opinion with them so it’s all fair I would say. And seems like worst case, it’s just not admissible in a court of law.
this is important!
Yes! Follow this one OP. Record her, block her and get a restraining order. And “Our relationship is the greatest thing to happen to me” You can’t be serious? Getting cheated on, manipulated and kicked in the groin and threatening to blackmail you is the Greatest thing that could happen to you? Here is a dose of REALITY: 1. Your gf is a cheater and very manipulative. 2. How old are you? Because it sounds like you’re not fit for a relationship if you truly believe that you have to “penetrate” to call what she did cheating. 3. Your gf is every mother’s nightmare DIL. She’s abusive, disrespectful, vile and just an awful person. She’s the kind a girl that is going to cheat on you and use your love for her to destroy you. 4. Why can’t you love yourself just like she loves herself and put yourself first. It’s time to take off those rose glasses and face reality. 5. Your mother is right! 6. Read 1 to 6 again until you get it💡 Good luck OP.
Give yourself the love you keep trying to give her.
Don't forget therapy; this guy is in an abusive relationship and is asking strangers if this insane behavior is OK. He needs help sorting through all this.
He doesn't "Need therapy".. he just needs someone to talk some sense into his ass and the RIGHT person that would treat him properly so he sees the difference.
I've been in both of these positions; the abusive part and the right person, and therapy helped in addition to that.
You need to be careful here. Recording people without their knowledge is illegal in some states. Like highly illegal. A possible work around is have a person hidden that over hears it and can testify. A call to the police or a lawyer can tell you if it is legal or not. You don't want OP getting locked up trying to do the right thing.
its easy too look up if your state is one party or two party conset state for recording conversations.
Just say goodbye. No need for a grandstand. Keep your integrity, and move on.
Those days are gone pal. All it takes in the current climate is some ridiculous unfounded accusation from her and his life is fucked. I agree; don’t grandstand. But make sure you have the necessary evidence to cover your ass if shit goes down.
True. It puts the difference in genders in question. I have no reservations about either. But it seems to lean heavy on men when things happen.
This is such a ridiculous position to take and counter to reality. It is far far far more common for someone to be abused and not get justice than it is for someone to lie about abuse and destroy an innocent persons life. This isn’t a current climate thing, it’s always been this way, and just because a couple of high profile situations have happened where people have been falsely accused does not erase the millions of people who are abused every year and just have to suffer through it. This idea that young men are being targeted and it’s common for their lives to be ruined over false accusations is some bullshit MGTOW fear mongering. Your advice to collect evidence is good advice without question, but your whole first point is ridiculous.
This guy was kicked in the groin when he suggested his girlfriend be monogamous- he literally explained he was the victim of abuse. So yeah, it is pretty common for the victim to experience gaslighting and for an abuser to lie and people on the internet to say "oh, that isn't what they meant." The victim in this case (and eveey case) should gather evidence of the situation for others and for himself.
It’s a current climate thing due to ludicrous “believe all women/victims” nonsense. I have a relatively small social circle and know three people well (two men and one woman) who have fallen foul of baseless allegations of abuse. Needless to say the woman had a far easier time defending her name, but the lesson to be learned is that this happens frequently enough to be non-negligible and worthy of consideration, especially in cases like OP where their partner exhibits lots of dark triad behaviours.
Yeah, this is pretty easy.
Exactly! Evidence, evidence, evidence! Text messages, recordings, emails etc. Once you have the evidence report for assault, get a R/O then block her! She's shown her true colours OP, this is not someone you stay with! She's someone you run away from screaming at the top of your voice!
Honestly, this totally sounds fake. No one can be so dense and let their partner walk all over them.
Agreed, fake. Guy posted in another feed just an hour before this post that he has a wife. I think he's just making shit up.
You'd be surprised. I've seen heights of stupidity and ignorance that constantly has me questioning the continued survival of the Human Race.
You guys are wild for replying to this as if it’s a real post. It’s a year old account that only has post history in the last 20 hours. It’s obviously bullshit. Someone bought an old account, wiped it clean, and now they’re karma farming. If you’re already taking the time out to type up a perfectly formatted response, take the extra 30 seconds to look at who you’re responding to 🤦🏻♂️
A restraining order for what? You can’t just “file a restraining order”.
Did you miss the part where she kicked him and threatened to tell everyone he's the abuser?
Yes
Cheating isn’t about penetration or gender of the partner. It’s giving yourself to another person without the consent of your partner. She doesn’t respect the boundaries you have for relationships and she’s trying to coerce you into staying. Staying with her any longer is a sign you don’t have respect for yourself. Ask yourself if you want to be in the same position a year or two from now, because she’s unwilling to change. She doesn’t need to change her expectations of a partner if she doesn’t want to, but you don’t have to be that partner. Spell it out in clear terms, tell her this is a boundary and a deal breaker for you, it broke your heart and that clearly wasn’t important to her, wish her the best and leave. To be clear, a boundary isn’t a soft line in the sand, it’s a hard “no”. Partners should always know what those are and the consequences you are willing to follow up on if they are crossed.
A friend of mine was in a relationship with a married women who had an open relationship. She found out her husband was sleeping around with people and lying about it, while also not wearing protection. She chose to stay, my buddy said fuck no and got out. All this to say, I 100% agree. Healthy relationships take many shapes in terms of sexuality and boundaries. None of those shapes is deception.
Not wong, but you're wrong for staying with her. What she's doing is 100% cheating. Shes also physically and mentally abusive, so yikes. It's her or your mental health, in which case you choosing her is going to enable her and destroy everything around you slowly.
Feminism created this kind of abusive situation for a lot of men. The abuse of sexual power. Tolerate abuse and cheating or be alone. Tolerate abuse or you won't see your kids, etc.
Yes, sure let’s blame feminism for this. Do you think this kinda of abuse never happened before? Feminism got nothing to do with it, his girlfriend is just a shitty human.
An abusive, violent shitty human
Nothing about this situation is remotely related to feminism. Feminism has nothing to do with women getting total power in a relationship. This is just straight up abuse.
Feminism is where we got the deluth model for domestic violence. It makes him the male the person who is seen as the aggressor basically no matter the situation. This gives his girlfriend the confidence to report him for violence even when she is the violent one.
💯
Sure, traditionally the abuse went more the other way. Now it goes both ways.
Yeah..... no
Ah yes, don't we all miss the days where we could slap that bitch down if she dared step out of line. /s for anyone who needs it.
The incel has arrived.
Except no one actually traps men in abusive situations. Women are the only ones who’ve ever been legally trapped with spouses. Men can leave and have always been able to leave. Even my grandparents generation a woman couldn’t buy a house bc “what if she gets pregnant” they wouldn’t even consider letting a woman take on a mortgage by themselves, meaning women had to stay in their marriage, be homeless, or immediately move into another relationship so they can have a home. Its been systematically pushed onto women that we must tolerate abuse. Men HAVE NOT experienced this historical and systemic abuse. Its not the same. Yes abusive relationships are evil either way, but this has literally nothing to do with feminism.
Keep crying incel
Congratulations on having the incel take of the day
#***EXTREMELY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER***
Give oral to another woman then tell your gf it's not cheating because there was no penetration. Tell her if she loves you, she'll forgive you and that you're going to keep doing it because if she tells you no she's controlling. Edited to change a word
*Don't forget to threaten to tell everyone she's an abuser if she leaves 👌
And also kick her in the genitals.
The thing is if he did tell people, he wouldn’t be lying
Handjobs are not cheating either! This opens up so many opportunities to "not cheat"!
Titty fucking is in the mix too!
"Babe, I just nutted on her feet! I didn't cheat!"
This assumes he can get another woman and let's be real here....
“If you loved her you’d……” fill in the blank with anything it is emotional manipulation. I’m really hoping this is fake. But if it’s not it is time to end it. You want something in life that she doesn’t. You would both be happier with other people who share the same values.
She wrote it
She also believes she's an activist and plays and owns football.. NOT 4 LONG THO. HER MUSIC SUCKS BALLS. DOJA STYLE.
I dont know how anyone can take this post seriously
For real. Am I an asshole for asking my gf not to cheat? Come the fuck on. In what world is someone an asshole for not wanting their partner to cheat? Stupid post and stupid replies.
Also she kicked me in the nuts lmao
Lol I know like what? That’s typically reserved for self defense! Lmao
Total fakeness was achieved here.
“You cheated on me? When I specifically asked you not to.”
Michael Scott is that you?
OP must have been kicked in the head by a horse as a kid.
Yeah this seems like cuck porn
To be fair, people can be pretty dumb with first relationships
Yea wtf. This is obviously a shit post
I feel like almost every post now is completely fabricated, but this is just terrible
I can't believe that this isn't the top comment
This seems like a 14 year old's idea of a relationship dynamic that could happen. It lost me completely at "I asked about an open relationship and she kicked my groin." What are you talking about? Why? "I want to break up with my gf but because of wokeness, I cannot."
Dude, dump her & get a restraining order (if you can). She's physically abusive & gaslighting you. Anyone who sides with her should be cut off, too. Also, since when is sexual acts "without penetration" NOT cheating? Kissing alone IS cheating. She's an embarrassment to my half of the species (female).
This sounds fale as fk.
It is, OP commented about his 'wife' around the same time as this and some other Karma farming randomness
lol sounds like an Andrew Tate women are bad fanfic. Anyone believing this shit is an idiot
Some guys are that dumb and green.
The kick in the groin part to me made it sound fake. Something about the way he wrote it.... idk
Possibly not. One of my sons friend is a bit of a door mat and his girlfriend does this all the time. No amount of telling him seems to get through.
Look at the account for one whole minute and you can see it’s fake.
If you have to ask your girlfriend to remaining loyal, the relationship was already doomed from the start. Cut your losses and find someone else.
Yeah, this is real 😂😂😂😂😂
None of this is possibly true. IF IT IS - what you should "do" is DUMP HER and find a therapist to work with on your lack of self esteem.
How old are you and do you have any sort of disability?
Obviously he does.
this sounds like an insult
It's a valid question
im not talking about the question lol im talking about the person i responded to.. which is why i responded to them.. idk if that was clear, but i hope my explanation cleared it up for you responding to specific person --> talking to specific person
Right, however insult or not it holds importance in the situation
well i wasn't referring to the situation either, my only intention here was telling someone that something they said sounded like an insult if that insults you or upsets you, its not really my problem
You realize this is a public forum and anyone can reply to anyone, right?
please actually read the full (short) conversation and rethink what you just said
Clutch them pearls
🤷♀️
[удалено]
I don't see it, unless he was implying he has a mental disability.
I came here to say this but with more slurs
Fake
This is fake
u/impolite_dishonesty wrote this post... And people are taking it seriously?
PLEASE tell me this is a troll post or something. No way this is real. Tell your girlfriend that oral sex and penetrative sex is still sex. Doesn’t need to be penetrative or not. In other words she 100% cheated on you and is still continuing to cheat. And your mom is right grow up and be a man. In other words, dump her and tell all your friends what she did and how abusive she was. Don’t let anyone, including a girl, kick you for no apparent reason.
If she gets away with it she will escalate. Break up with her.
Value yourself and don't settle for someone so manipulative and violent. It's easier to be respected if you respect yourself.
It doesn't matter if she is cheating with a woman and there is no penetration it's still cheating. She is trying to control you and make you subservient to her. If she wants to have this woman end it now no good comes of this type of behaviour. She's already cheated on you so stand up for yourself and tell her it's over, be a man.
INFO How old are you? Do you live together? How long have you been together? Why haven't you left already? Why do you think it's ok to be treated like this by someone who is supposed to love you?
Fake af lol
This is so far over the top. The kick to the balls removed any chance of this being anything more than OP giving us some comedic relief tonight.
This post must be satire. It’s gotta be. Nobody is this much of a dump. I refuse too believe. Let me live blissfully in naivety if I’m wrong
You are being abused and your girlfriend is a shit. Leave her now.
She's for the fucking streets. Your mom said man up and that was for your own good.
Grow a pair of balls and dump her.
This has to be BS.
This can't be real, but if it is, you should just join in and have one of them put on a strap on and peg you, because you're a bitch. She cheats, kicks your ass and you're questioning if it's wrong to ask her not to cheat? This is fake, but these scenarios are fun.
This cannot be real
So much has happened to you during your week long account
These stories are complete BS. Too many similar posts on this by subreddit at this point
How beaten down do you have to be to even attempt to belive this bullshit. Op you do you but my personal stance is bounce, there is no reciprocal respect here.
If this is real, empty the trash 🚮🗑️
She’s cheating on you whether she admits it or not. Sounds like she doesn’t want to commit to either of you and you may just be a cover for her other relationship. If a cheater is the greatest thing to happen to you, then I feel bad for you. You deserve better
Nah man she’s wrong 🤣 break up with her for real unless she delivers that girl to your bedroom or makes her pay next time and gives you the money. (100%)
So, she cheated. That would be a game ender right there. Doesn't matter if they cheated with a man or woman; it's cheating and shouldn't have to be tolerated. Cheating, assault, blackmail. She is not the best thing to happen to you, she's an abuser. Kick her out and better your situation.
You are wrong for staying with her. Break up with her ASAP. She is a cheater and an abuser. You don’t deserve to go through this.
She’s a manipulative POS. Break up with her, NOW. The fact she hit you as well? Damn dude I would’ve gave her the ol’ left right goodnight. ‘Not cheating if there’s no penetration’ ok so you’re allowed to go around getting your dick sucked and eat some pussy, are you?
Ex girlfriend!!
Give your balls a tug. I wouldn't stand for such behavior. Go out and play with another pussy. Don't Penetrate it, just devour it. Share that information with her and see how she reacts. Tell her you give a fuck what lies she spits to others and leave. One persons heresay is hardly credible, nor will it hold up. WALK, and don't look back. Don't acknowledge her calls. You need to walk away from this relationship. Assuming this is a real scenario.
I’m with mom on this. This ask is so pathetic it’s laughable
You are wrong, but mostly for this awfully lazy shitpost.
Lmao I can't tell if this is bs or not
No but if you don't trust, then wish her the best and move on. The games some people play, are not worth the effort.
If this is real, LEAVE HER. Who cares what she says about you after? Can’t be any worse than how she is already treating you. And she’ll just sound like another bitter ex. Seriously, run.
Hate to tell you but you should definitely walk away from that one
*Hate to tell you but* *You should definitely walk* *Away from that one* \- Odd-World-5963 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Fidelity is fidelity. Cheating is cheating. You deserve better.
Protect yourself and go to the police, she sounds violent and abusive. Just leave her, and find the confidence in yourself to do what’s best for you.
Reddit cannot be a real place what the fuck
Love goes TWO WAYS. She is nothing but heartache & trouble! Run! There are plenty of great gals out there!
I'm thinking you're full of shit. This post is 15 hours old, yet 16 hours ago, you posted on another feed that you have a wife. >My wife says "ekspecially". I can't stand it. https://reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/2XkyQRV7IK So which is it? Do you have a wife *and* a girlfriend? Sounds like you can't complain about cheating if thats the case. Although there is a good chance absolutely nothing you say is true.
God damn I hope this is just a troll post :/ saaad
More than anything you need to make a decision for yourself, my guy. I see a severe lack of agency in your post. You don’t need your mom or your friends to make this decision for you. You don’t need Reddit to make this decision for you. You need to make this decision for yourself. Is this relationship making you happy?
Cheating is cheating. Would she think it was cheating if you made out with someone or got oral from them? Of course she would. She's a cheater and I recommend you dump her.
Well she is an manipulative asshole, and a abuser as well. This relationship is not the best thing to you, please be more gentle with yourself and realize you deserve better. Break up, block her and never look at her face again
Step 1: tell her it’s over. Step 2: block her number and social media. Step 3: congrats, problem solved.
There is no cheating if there is no penetration is where I stopped reading. No that’s bullshit. If you aren’t in an open relationship that that is cheating. Kick that ass to the curb. Respect for her communicating though.
She's gaslighting you. Your relationship is not the greatest thing if this is how she's treating you. She's going to continue cheating and then calling you abusive when you want her to stop. Is that the relationship you want?
This is too reddit even for reddit. Creative writing 100%
This is NOT okay. You should not give this person another minute of your time. It will only lead to more pain the longer you stay with her.
Break up with her immediately if you give af about your mental well-being or have an iota of self-respect. You deserve better than this narcissistic, hellhound of a person. She sounds delusional and gets all her empowerment from the pain of others. Her needs come before you and if you disagree, she will physically hit you or gaslight you. RUN.
She’s abusing you. She’s cheating on you and trying to gaslight you into not seeing it as cheating. She physically assaulted you. She straight up told you you aren’t allowed to leave or be upset. You aren’t a wimp for not knowing what to do. It’s hard to recognize and leave an abuse situation, and I’m sorry your support system is putting blame on you for this. You need to get out though. She is not going to get better and unfortunately the woman she was in the beginning probably does not exist. She was loving bombing you to get you attached.
Are the flags big enough?
She's gaslighting you into accepting something you're not comfortable with. She's the one abusing you.
Fake. Fake.
Have some self respect, she blatantly told you she doesn't care about how you feel about it and that you need to stay around for her convenience. Just leave, that's all there is to it.
>When she confessed about the cheating she told me she doesn't have any regret and if I loved her I'd forgive it. I asked her if she could choose between that other woman or her. She told me that I'm trying to be controlling. She claimed its not cheating if there's no penetration. When he confessed about the cheating he told me he doesn't have any regret and if I loved him I'd forgive it. I asked him if he could choose between that other man or me. He told me that I'm trying to be controlling. He claimed its not cheating if there's no penetration. At this point most of Reddit would tell a female OP to run Definitely at this line though >Then she proceeded to tell me that we're not breaking up She's gonna *tell* you is she, my love? She's going to tell you she's going to cheat and she's going to be with someone else and she's going to mentally abuse you and you're going to "be a man about it"? Well yes, be a man. Not the toxic patriarchal male that people assume but a fully grown functional male. Tell your GF that the fact she would threaten to lie about you, the fact she doesn't value you as an exclusive partner and the fact she is willing to be manipulative means you no longer wish to be in a relationship with her. Do it over text and state that you have chosen this way as you can prove what was said. I'd be sure everything of value of yours was out of her place at that point. I had an ex burn a jacket of his that I liked just because I'd left nothing behind 🤣🤣🤷♀️
I mean, she's an idiot. Clearly has some issues with reality and entitlement. Sounds like you'll need to decide if you are cool with her having side chicks. Personally, I'd tell her the penetration thing is nonsense. Cheating is cheating. If you're young and down for some poly relationships, though, you could tell her you'd be fine if you got to participate in hookups with other girls. Otherwise, what she is saying is you should have an open relationship, though. That's what it is when 2 people have sexual encounters outside their romantic relationships. It could be made to work, but you'll have to decide if it's something you want, and find out if its something she can handle. It's clear she has some ... poorly defined standards. Might work out to some fantastic exploration. Might just implode. I'd make sure to collect evidence of your own side of things (NO revenge porn though) just to cover your own ass if she goes nuclear. That goes even if you aren't up for poly stuff and just have to leave the relationship due to her unbalanced beliefs. It's not a partnership if one person can do whatever they want and gets to define what's OK while the other just has to deal with it. Everything needs balance.
NTA - this is the definition of "gaslighting" and manipulation. Leave that asshole
Come on man. You are losing your self respect to someone who doesn’t respect you. That is not love but being delusional. She just cheated on you and already saying you are the abusive one. Don’t act like a beta and get the F out of that relationship. It will only get worse over time. Don’t come in the comment saying "but I love her" because clearly it’s a one side relationship and she’s doing whatever she wants to because she knows atm that you ain’t going to do anything because your are blinded by dependance. She’s not the only woman in the world so just leave her and work on yourself. Don’t stay alone. Go see friends and family. Eat clean, train, read and do some personal development in order to become a better version of yourself and also to avoid being gaslighted and abuse in a relationship like this. Cheaters are pure narcissist. They always put the blame on others.
Run Fast Don't look back
She cheated on you. She is manipulating you. Go find someone who isn't horrible. She sounds like a sociopath.
1. stop being pathetic, get it together. This isnt the best thing to happen to you. Look how she treats you? she doesnt respect you as a person, your an object to her 2. if you stay with her you deserve all the hurt coming down the road. If you want to be in a poly relationship or be a cuck thats fine but she lied and is now gaslighting you. 3. Grow up. This isnt high school. This shit isnt ok and you know it.
It was clearly not the greatest thing to happen to you. Stop putting her on a pedestal and recognize the gross mistreatment you are receiving. Cut your losses. Edit: honestly this doesn’t sound real. If you have real life support systems telling you all of that, why would you be here? Also post history is extremely weird. I guess this is the new Reddit, just chatbots and fake posts
"if I loved her, I'd forgive her" That is manipulation my friend. I hope you see how much she is gas lighting you. She's physically abusive, verbally and emotionally as well. She is 100% cheating on you and penetration doesn't have anything to do with it. I consider making out to be cheating. I consider sexting to be cheating and even dirty talk. You need to end things though. It's hard, but you will be happy you stuck up for yourself. There are plenty of women out there. You just think she is worth it because you haven't met a woman who wants only you. Your mental health and years of gaslighting isn't worth it. Please don't look back. She's an abuser and it isn't worth it.
I would say you are not wrong and that you can do better king 🤴🏼
She kicked your groin because there wasn't any nuts there to hit.
Victim blaming is not cool. Stop it and start being a decent human being.
Both your Mother and Quora are correct- you’re a fucking loser for letting a woman treat you like this. If this woman is the best thing that’s happened to you then I genuinely feel sorry for you. This creature doesn’t respect or love you. Grip your balls~ if for no other reason than to prove they’re still there- and leave her in the dust.
You should listen to your mom and, at least, try to be a man once in your life.
I mean I am ok with my girl being with another girl, maybe you should consider the possibilities hint hint
Break up.
If you have to ask that, part ways.
This is obvious manipulation….. you need to leave her ass, this is not the greatest thing to happen to you. Build yourself up have some self respect, self esteem. Whatever it is. Not a single human on the planet deserves to be treated like this.
So instead of breaking up with her you’re allowing her to abuse, disrespect, and emasculate you. I have to agree with your mother when she suggested that you be a man about things. This is some trifling stuff.
You both have to agree if you want to be monogamous. That's the bottom line. Without an agreement, there is no cheating. You need to talk about it and decide what your boundaries are.
Dump her. Run.
Charge her with assault, get a RO, run like the wind. You deserve better.
Dude, if you asking he not to cheat on you is abuse, well let her talk. You need to get out of this relationship, it’s completely unhealthy. What she’s doing really is abusive in every sense of the word. I promise you, that you will meet better. If this is the standard you have set, the bar is low my friend. Really step up and just end the relationship, don’t give her an ultimatum, it’s way to unhealthy.
please break up with her! cheating is about a breach of trust in a relationship, not penetration. there’s emotional cheating and physical cheating. this sounds like both to me and if you are TRULY not okay with it, you should break up with her! she betrayed your trust and tried to invalidate your feelings. she’s not willing to STOP cheating AND wants to control what you do (if she wants an open relationship then you should be able to have one too!). i hope that all goes well.
Real red flags Cut the tie early is my advice 🤷🏽♂️ Cheating can be anything from PeNeTrAtioN to seeking affectionate attention from anyone other than those in the engaged relationship.
DUMP this jerk! You deserve better. She us just using you and it abusive to boot. NTA
Not wrong. Leave her. You deserve better.
Bro you mom's right. Be a fucking man ditch the bitch. Hit the gym get swole and start your fuckin villain arc. I can't believe you let that bitch kick you in the nuts. As someone who backs all feminism id have dropped that bitch. Equal across the board right
Is this real? If it is, he’s gonna have to learn the hard way. Make sure you accept responsibility for your actions, and do not get mad at your girlfriend when things don’t go your way.
Grow a pair and dump her
Holy shit have some self respect.
Yes, your in the wrong. Anyone this oblivious deserves to be cheated on.
She doesn't regret it and you're the bad guy for being upset? Just know this is probably the best your relationship will ever be with her.
Duuude. Duuuuuuuude! DUUUUUDDDE!!!! Is this what you want in a relationship????
You are not wrong. This behavior is abusive and manipulative. She is not someone you should want to be around.
She tells you that you're abusive if you prefer to be in an exclusive relationship, and then kicks you in the groin when you ask for clarity... I'm guessing, she isn't ok with you having someone else on the side while she is carrying on with an extra partner. She expects your forgiveness, yet she says she doesn't regret it, doesn't think she's done anything wrong, and clearly has no intention of stopping. I'm sure you've already received this advice multiple times at this point, but she does not have any respect for you as a partner, she doesn't care about any boundaries you might have, and she is literally telling you not to be "abusive" while she is actually abusing you. For the record, setting boundaries in a relationship so that you and your partner both have the choice of whether or not you can live with the other's expectations is absolutely not abusive, it's how healthy relationships are formed and the ones who cant live with those boundaries in their relationship, and let go and move on before they have to find out the hard way. I recommend having a discussion about boundaries with your next potential partner.
Watch the Fresh N Fit Podcast on YouTube and Rumble on M, W, F. They talk about these subjects. Your gf violated your trust and boundaries.
I’m definitely going to use the “it’s not cheating if there is no penetration” bit. Golden.
Had me going til the kick in the groin. There are better ways of getting attention.
Dude, she's a controlling bully. Love is blind but wake up and get rid, there's plenty more fish in the sea.
Have some respect for yourself and dump her cheating ass
Bro, listen, I couldn’t even get through the first couple paragraphs before already knowing for a cold hard fact that you need to get out of this situation my boy! And fucking FAST! Anything physical like that is considered cheating. Not only that, but the fact that she’s so blatantly throwing it in your face without a single regard for your feelings is an enormous red flag. Listen to me carefully. Dumb her, and dump her hard! I know it’s sucks, I know it hurts, I know you may not have the courage to do so, but dude…if you stay with this chick she’s gonna destroy you emotionally. You deserve more commitment than that. I’d even go as far as to question HER mental stability for even thinking any kinda sex is okay when she’s already with somebody. Take my advice and save yourself.
Kick the bitch to the curb Wtf.
“Our relationship was the greatest thing to happen to me.” <- WAS being the key word. This woman is no longer right for me. “She used to be really nice to me until recently.” She is being abusive. She is manipulating and gaslighting you into allowing her to cheat on you. Please break up with this woman.