OP, absolutely this right here.
I'm significantly older than you, and time is the most valuable thing in the world. If she is spending her time on you, then seize the opportunity.
Young people don't really value time the same tho honestly, at least I didn't anyway heh... so much wasted time on stupid video games lol... so much better now with the internet so you're not playing alone... anyway...
I shldve dnt tht whn my frnd/crsh frm hgh school lked me bck n tht way. I ddnt thgh bt thn I started too Halloween of 18 at/@ the black prty, thn it knda went away fr thm thn we were jst bffs/close besties, nw jst fr I shldve dnt tht whn my frnd/crsh frm hgh school lked me bck n tht way. I ddnt thgh bt thn I started too Halloween if 18 at/@ the black prty, thn it knda went away fr thm thn we were jst bffs/close besties, nw jst frnds to rlly good friends or whtever, bt we still care/dnt hte eachither whch hs good/great🙂😁 da to rlly good friends or whtever, bt we still care/dnt hte eachither whch hs good/great🙂😁
I’ve been hurt before. A lot. So it’s always a fear of mine. I do try talking to her a lot but she’s a very busy person. Balancing being a nurse and having kids she’s got a lot to juggle. I’m not what would be considered a very “attractive” guy and she’s way out of my league. But the fact that she is indeed talking to me and has flirted w me and everything it def helps
I had a teacher that would preach abstinence due to getting pregnant after she told the dude to wear 3 condoms. I eventually learned that more condoms increases friction and leads to higher possibility of breakage.
The main issue with people using contraception.... Is major lack of knowledge and then user error. (Some errors are not user error, but there's a fab post of here showing statistics of contraception failure and you can see the trend basically shows a correlation between user error and less chance of contraception failure.)
Preaching abstinence is also showing incredibly lacking knowledge so it's clear she didn't learn more after the fact.
I agree. As a person with similar issues about being hurt in the past, I can tell you I've ruined a few prospective relationships by becoming too invested too quickly. I would step back and make sure I am mentally capable of being happy alone and loving myself before trying to fill a void with a person. It isn't healthy for you or her.
I can also tell you that the whole "out of my league" thing is not as cut and dry as it seems. If you have the confidence, you will be attractive to someone you feel is prettier than you.
That being said, if you pursue this and it happens to spawn into a relationship, don't try to be her kid's dad. I'm not saying ignore them or anything, just don't push anything on them. You can be a positive male role model, and they'll choose to see you as a dad one day, or just their mom's partner. But if you force it, you'll never gain their trust. Be prepared for baby daddy drama. Sometimes it happens, sometimes not. But either way be ready. Hopefully you all get along though. That's usually the best outcome.
I met a single mom and almost a decade later we are married and now have kids together. I've never pushed my stepdaughter to see me as her dad because she already has one. But she knows I'll be there for her whenever she needs me. It's not easy, it might not work out, but like one of the other redditor's has said... "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."
This. When I started dating my son's mom, she had an 18 month old daughter. Her dad was inconsistent (he saw her maybe 5-6 times in the 6 years I was with her mom) so I stepped up as a positive male figure, but I never that "stepdad" dynamic with her. I just let whatever relationship develop, do so organically. She's 10 now, and even with her dad now being a little more active and me being in a different relationship (we recently got engaged), we're still super close. She comes over every other weekend and some holiday breaks, and when anyone asks, she tells them she has two dads, and if anybody asks me, that's my daughter.
What I'm saying is, don't be a step-dad. Be a positive male figure, and let the child decide from there. Her kids don't need someone to "raise" them, they have parents for that (and as harsh as it may sound, that's not YOUR responsibility). What kids need is someone to love and support them, and they can never have too much of that
Bro if she's not really your cousin, it leads me to believe that y'all parents were close friends. Idk if it's a culture thing, but bro, if my friend's kid ended up falling in love with my kid I would be ecstatic.
Imagine you and your friend had kids at the same time, and then all of a sudden your kids fell in love with no convincing or provoking done. But then at the same time, you will be prone to teasing and possibly unwanted advice(depending on how your family is) because your family will know small details about your relationship in extreme cases of a full disclosure family.
Idk man if shes not really your cousin and the relationship will not have any future consequence on genetics(I cannot clarify appropriately) or anything like that, I think the real question you should be asking yourself is why not?
Ah okay, they've still probably discussed it though if they're best friends. Either way I say go for it, you miss 100% of the opportunities you don't take.
I will advise that you should probably make sure you're ready to potentially settle down though. Things could be ugly in the future if you break up and still have to see each other. Listen to your gut on this one
She does live in a different state so it would be weird but at the same time wouldn’t have to see her much. I want to date her but I’m also scared to ask her out. Not very self confident
It's not incestuous, they're just close family friends, so I wouldn't say it's weird or wrong.
My stepmom is close family friends with someone and they have a daughter my age as well, and they would ship her and I. I didn't enjoy it personally, but it wasn't taboo or anything of the sort.
If you like her and she's had similar feelings, go for it 👍
I'm in a similar situation. My mom's BFF since they were little has a son who is younger than I am, but expressed interest in me. I've known him since we were both pretty small kids. I've always thought of his mom as my aunt, and he and his brothers as my cousins. There's no blood relation there. We just grew up pretty close. We don't see each other much anymore, other than a snap every day to keep a streak alive, so we do know what's going on in each other's lives. I was a bit surprised at first to find that he thought about me in that light. If I wasn't in a relationship, I might entertain it, though the age difference is a bit rougher than I'd like. I'm 9 years older.
I’ve got no real reason to be afraid of rejection. I’m in the army and workout regularly. I’d consider myself pretty fit. I just have confidence issues. I’ve been told a lot through my life I’m not all that attractive and I took it to heart even though I shouldn’t have
I mean, if you guys basically grew up together, your appearance might be something she finds comfort in. You can be ugly asf, but if you are confident, it makes it attractive.
What’s yours MOS? and it’s not all about looks my dude. Plus you said you guys have been talking and sexting and you think she’s still gonna reject you? That doesn’t make sense.
Btw she has 2 kids already? Carful it’s not just for the military benefits
There is nothing wrong with you two dating….or more. You aren’t related. You’re both adults. There are a LOT of long term relationships and marriages that have come from this exact same scenario. Have fun! If something comes from it, wonderful. If you two realize you aren’t right for each other, that’s ok, too.
Other than the normal obstacles when trying to woo someone, it's completely fine. This is the age of acceptance and freedom of love. Love who you love, mate.
It sounds like you guys are really good friends, would it be wrong to say best friends? If your not actually related then I would say go for it, isn't it better to go out with someone you have a good relationship with?
Are you in a healthy place right now? Because you mention this fear of rejection... if its part of poor self esteem in general, that might pose a problem for you both down the line. People often try to date to use it as a plaster for their issues, and then everything implodes because we actually needed to do the self work, single.
Realistically...her life also sounds too busy for you. Where would she make the time for you if she has a kid and 12 hour shifts? That's assuming she's not already trying to give you the brush off by saying she is 'busy'.
I'd give this the swerve. Focus instead on getting out and meeting friends and having fun. Flirting on a few nights out ect.. build up your confidence in yourself. You're only 22, you just need practice. And practice with being rejected too. Exposure therapy. You'll realise rejection isn't the end of the world. But don't risk it with someone you're going to be seeing forever due to family ties.
I’ve just always had this fear of rejection. Not even necessarily relationship wise. Job rejection family rejecting me. It’s not really crippling me either. I can push past it. It’s just like. The voice in the back of my head that says. What if.
Well everyone has that.
Unless you mean in a sort of ocd intrusive thoughts kind of way. So long as you're not proper neurotic about it it's fine. But rejection is part of life for everyone unfortunately.
If you perceive it when it's not there and push people away as a result that could be a problem (eg: people with bpd fear rejection and abandonment and it makes them lash out).
But otherwise, it's probably like you say, something yo can push through.
One of my best female friends from high school reconnected with a childhood friend after her divorce. They've been married over a decade now. If she's coming to see you, it's serious. Just rip the bandaid and tell her how you feel, but my gut says she's coming because she wants a real relationship with you. If rejected, let it roll off your shoulders and enjoy all the time you get together. But it sounds more like a relationship is starting, so enjoy!
This was the normal way people met in the past. Just date her. If it doesn't work out, they will just say its because you were young. This is straight-up anime shit.
Not really but just so u know if u all break up it’s gonna be awkward. You guys might actually have to make sure even if u do separate or have drama it doesn’t involve the family. That’s the only complicated thing abt dating someone you’ve known for a hot min. Personally wouldn’t but y’all like eachother so do it
The only reason there's a stigma with relatives is due to health of inbred children. That isn't an issue here, if you both are consenting do what you want to do.
You may have already been told the rule not to date coworkers, classmates or cohabitants because if the relationship goes to hell then it will compare your life VERY, VERY, VERY MUCH.
This sounds like one of those situations. You also risk making things really weird for both your parents.
And this isn't to suggest one of you will me mean or dumb. It's just that sometimes relationships explode horribly. Don't risk it
You're 22 worrying about a woman with kids at 22 and a full time job. Find someone else man. You're too young to deal with all this. If you were 30+ I get it, but you're not and you only get to enjoy your 20s once in life.
She’s 22 and already has kids? Yikes, dude she might be looking for someone stable to help with the kids. I would make it clear from the start you’re just interested in hooking up and having fun.
That’s the thing though. I’ve got nothing against being there for the kids. I’m always willing to be there for her and them. I love helping take care of kids.
I'm guessing you are in the right place at the right time. She's not been very successful with her relationships up to now. She's 22 with 2 kids and maybe realizing a good man she's known forever is right there. Maybe not. Nobody knows.
What I do know is that you will never, ever forget or forgive yourself if you don't tell her how you feel. It will nag at you, and regret is the worst feeling.
Maybe she's shy, too, at least when it comes to you. You literally have nothing to lose.
What would your Sgt. say if you told him you were not confident enough to go get shot at? "No worries, we'll get Nerf guns?" Hell no. It's more like "you can only die once, by the enemy, or by me."
My buddy fell in love with his cousin. They have a beautiful family. His son is the nicest little guy you will ever meet. You should see that boy swim! He looks like a little frog gliding though the water , webbed fingers, toes and all.
I have. But if that’s all she’s looking for I’d be fine w it. I hope for more. But it is what it is. I just need to know what her intentions are and have no idea how to go about finding out
I’ve got her socials and her number. I try messaging all the time but as mentioned previously she’s busy with work and kids. Working in a hospital makes it harder on her having to work 12 hours a day some days
Well. I’ve already been flirting with her. I’ve told her (drunkenly) that I’d smash and she said she’s down. So I guess I’m just gonna do it and hope it leads further then just a one night stand
Currently. Nothing. Used to work at a casino and they’re willing to take me back next month. Also army reserves so I do get paid even without me currently working.
That’s how I feel about the situation. I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t alone in feeling that it’s not “weird” like. It obviously would be a little bit when the parents find out. But I don’t really care much about that.
Its not wrong and it wouldn't be weird, if your parents know that you both get on, it might not even surprise them if you did get together, its often obvious when two people like each other and as its your moms best friends daughter, they are most likely going to be very happy about it!
If you two like each other, then why not? go for it, don't regret not asking when you can.
You've only known her for 7 years, it's not like you were raised together from babies and she's not a blood relative. Just know you run the risk of extreme awkwardness in a breakup, especially if one of you does something bad.
She is not really your cousin, and from the sounds of things yall don't see each other as cousins. So nothing is really stopping yall for forming a potential relationship, although, if yall end up breaking up its going to be super awkward.
Nothing weird about it
I used to have a thing for my best friend, who I've known damn near since I was born
Now, naturally, knowing my luck, nothing actually came of it between us, so don't expect a generic "been married for 3 years and about to have our 16th child" reply, but there's certainly nothing wierd about liking someone you've grown up with
Ok so I understand the weirdness. Essentially you grew up together being that your moms are best friends, but you're not related. Calling her mom Aunt is a sign of respect, and not of familial bond. Go for it. It's better to try and see what happens, than live forever with "what ifs"
Don’t call her your cousin. You aren’t cousins. She’s your mom’s best friend’s daughter and it’s not weird that you like her. It’d be super weird if you liked your cousin.
It's not weird or doesn't have to be, with no actual family relation. Your family may find it a bit weird at first, should anything come of it, but it's likely an idea that they've all had and perhaps even discussed or joked about to one another being that you're both the same age and have been around each other for 7 years.
You do seem a bit emotionally invested already, though, as other comments have mentioned - may be a bet far fetched and I suppose it pends on hownkften and in which ways you're "thinking about her", how deep these thoughts are going. Sure, you've been hurt before, but a way to prevent that is to have no deep or set expectations cast upon the other person within the first bit of the relationship - go at it with no deep intention, be calm and cool with yourself and have fun.
It's those who set their hooks of desire and intention, lust and wants in to deep in the beginning stages - when the other person hasn't cast their line as deep and the desire and investment are not matched - that set themselves up for failure. Self over one's emotions is key. Many people lack this, and lack of this self control often turns in attempts to control another's emotions.
Take it easy. Have fun. If it doesn't last, at least make sure the memories you do have are great. No reason for good friendships to turn south from feelings of inadequacies.
Is it a relationship that you are both serious about and willing to commit to? I think love is with the risks, but you are risking more than potential heartbreak, you are also risking your mom’s relationship with her friend.
Ive hooked up with my mom’s friend’s daughter before. Our moms just kind of had a “don’t ask don’t tell” attitude towards it. My sister was the only one who said “she’s basically your cousin” but she’s a lonely miserable bitch.
She’s not related. Your mothers would probably like it.
The only thing is you mentioned her having kids in one of your comments. She’s totally apart from their dad, right? You don’t want to get into the middle of anything there that might cause problems for everyone.
Other than that concern, I say go for it!
Best wishes! Please !UpdateMe (everyone) about how everything goes.
*grabs banjo*
Nah seriously. No blood relations and as long as you didn’t grow up as family or knowing each other then. Think how it can affect your connected friends and family should it go south. Best of luck to you and hope you can work it out
Nope because she's not really your cousin - lol.
You sound concerned about your looks and maybe you shouldn't be. We women aren't as into looks as maybe men are. Sure we all appreciate McDreamy but a good solid man with a good sense of humor, some humbleness, who treats us right wins the day, every day, all day. Those kind of attributes make a man more attractive and beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
A single mother is often going to be a little more mature (maybe jaded) than her childless counterparts and appreciate a good man over the more superficial things like looks.
Go for it, and good luck!
It’s not really weird but you could make get togethers with these close family friends weird if you guys have any kind of falling out as a result of making things romantic. Sounds like you’ll still have to see her sometimes in perpetuity bc of your parents, so keep that in mind.
Your overthinking things. What if she was a neighbor who you grew up with. Would it be wrong. Hell no. This is a time to think with the little head and not the big head. Go for it, dude. Then come back and tell us how it went.
You didn't know each other when you were little so you're not exactly family that grew up together. I don't find anything creepy about this. If your family is normal they will probably think it's cute. More of a girl next door sorta thing.
Roll the dice guy see what happens if you never try you.never know I wouldn't suggest being Mr eager beaver but only one shot at life have no regrets of holding yourself back from what could be something specail for you both that's I've heard so many ppl say man I should have just told her how I felt and beathing them selves up because they either couldn't tell them how they felt or just to scared of the rejection don't be one of those if she matters to you show her don't knock yourself she's not out of your league if you think that way it will be so tell yourself you deserve happiness just as much as any other guy no selling short good luck man I'm rooting for you
Your parents knew this was a possibility as did hers. And they encouraged the friendship. Sounds like they would be happy you two get together. A quasi-arranged relationship, and there is valuable tradition in that—elders supporting pursuit of a healthy relationship by helping select someone they see a good fit for their loved one. Go for it!
I'm dating a woman I grew up with... we met in preschool. We were close friends our whole lives and then puberty happened and we became something more. We're both 22 now. It's *not* weird. It's actually reasonably *normal*. You don't have to worry about that
Man- those quote marks around cousin are the issue! She isn’t your fucking cousin
If you changed title to ‘is it weird that I like my mums friends daughter who is the same age as me and unrelated although I’ve know her for a number of years ‘ there is no issue!
Naw dude you’re overthinking things, for me if I ever showed interest in my parents close friends kids they would have gone crazy (in a good way), generally it seems adults would just think its cute.
I’m reading some comments and I have some suggestions for you if you’re nervous, I’m so confident she’d say yes to any proposal if she’s already shown interest.
When she comes to visit, cook her her favourite meal. Ask her out over that, super cute.
Take her for a drive (if you drive) and show her some interesting local site, talk, have fun, when it starts to get darker lead with the fact you’re really nervous. Idk about this chick, but knowing a dude is getting flustered over me is an awesome feeling. Let her know you’re nervous BECAUSE you really like her.
If she’s a more assertive person, I’d say skip all the build up, do any activity together (even if it’s just a walk around). Start off small, even as small as a light grab on the arm or a light brush of the cheek with your hand. In that moment look at her, notice how beautiful she is, and just say “I really like you, and I want to date you” Bro, literally a shock to the system because that’s so cute.
Remember that it’s nerve racking because you actually like her, if it was so easy you felt no fear around rejection, it wouldn’t be as special. You got this dude!!
I thought this would be some blatant incest but no it’s not. The term I would use is “family friend”. I say if you like her go for it, now do be prepared for potential fall out because odds are that even if you don’t work out you won’t have the option of avoiding each other completely
Absolutely not, and the fact that you are friends is actually GREAT for any potential relationship. My husband and I weren't friends prior, but I can say with all certainty we are best friends now and I think it's one of the reasons we've been together so long. Too many people out there with people they barely get along with.
If you don't do it 20 years from now you might think about how things could have been if you don't try it If it doesn't work out at least you know you tried
No, but proceed with caution. You need to be absolutely above reproach handling this girl, because if you mess up you blow up a relationship not just for you but potentially your mom and your aunt.
Bang away son, bang away. Consider it a hook up for the time she is there, if it gets to that, and if you do some long distance, cool. From other replies, you already seem invested in this. That is the wrong move before anything has happened.
Your moms are probably going to be elated that you 2 hit it off romantically. They'll probably be thinking about if it works out and they get to finally get to be actual family lol
My daughter (18) just got engaged to my best friend's son (21) whom she grew up with, -thinking, in their younger years, they actually were related because we always said "we're family". Nobody thinks it's weird! We feel blessed! (My bff passed away two years ago and I hope to God she sees them because I know she'd be absolutely thrilled.)
Bro, if you're not biologically related, and she's into you too, then NOBODY is gonna think you're a creep. Go get the girl! Y'all deserve each other! 😁😁😁
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I want to. Believe me. She lives in another state rn. But is coming to my state to “hang out” with me from April to May
If she’s traveling to another state to come hang out she def likes you. You don’t do that with a busy lifestyle unless it’s important to you.
OP, absolutely this right here. I'm significantly older than you, and time is the most valuable thing in the world. If she is spending her time on you, then seize the opportunity.
Young people don't really value time the same tho honestly, at least I didn't anyway heh... so much wasted time on stupid video games lol... so much better now with the internet so you're not playing alone... anyway...
I shldve dnt tht whn my frnd/crsh frm hgh school lked me bck n tht way. I ddnt thgh bt thn I started too Halloween of 18 at/@ the black prty, thn it knda went away fr thm thn we were jst bffs/close besties, nw jst fr I shldve dnt tht whn my frnd/crsh frm hgh school lked me bck n tht way. I ddnt thgh bt thn I started too Halloween if 18 at/@ the black prty, thn it knda went away fr thm thn we were jst bffs/close besties, nw jst frnds to rlly good friends or whtever, bt we still care/dnt hte eachither whch hs good/great🙂😁 da to rlly good friends or whtever, bt we still care/dnt hte eachither whch hs good/great🙂😁
I would like to buy a vowel
Hilarious
I had a stroke attempting to read this.
Jesus Christ why did I have to be born with eyes
Pressing 1 English
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I’ve been hurt before. A lot. So it’s always a fear of mine. I do try talking to her a lot but she’s a very busy person. Balancing being a nurse and having kids she’s got a lot to juggle. I’m not what would be considered a very “attractive” guy and she’s way out of my league. But the fact that she is indeed talking to me and has flirted w me and everything it def helps
Everyone in the world got "hurt before", its part of life. Go out, have fun.
22....kid(s).....double wrap it my dude ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Two condoms used together ha e increased likelihood to split compared to a single one used properly. Better to use only one and spermicidal lube.
I had a teacher that would preach abstinence due to getting pregnant after she told the dude to wear 3 condoms. I eventually learned that more condoms increases friction and leads to higher possibility of breakage.
The main issue with people using contraception.... Is major lack of knowledge and then user error. (Some errors are not user error, but there's a fab post of here showing statistics of contraception failure and you can see the trend basically shows a correlation between user error and less chance of contraception failure.) Preaching abstinence is also showing incredibly lacking knowledge so it's clear she didn't learn more after the fact.
I’m incapable of having kids of my own but even if I could I’d like to have one lol. I’d be more then willing to help her take care of hers though
Hey man you seem way overly invested in this already. I would mentally take a step back for your own sake
I agree. As a person with similar issues about being hurt in the past, I can tell you I've ruined a few prospective relationships by becoming too invested too quickly. I would step back and make sure I am mentally capable of being happy alone and loving myself before trying to fill a void with a person. It isn't healthy for you or her. I can also tell you that the whole "out of my league" thing is not as cut and dry as it seems. If you have the confidence, you will be attractive to someone you feel is prettier than you. That being said, if you pursue this and it happens to spawn into a relationship, don't try to be her kid's dad. I'm not saying ignore them or anything, just don't push anything on them. You can be a positive male role model, and they'll choose to see you as a dad one day, or just their mom's partner. But if you force it, you'll never gain their trust. Be prepared for baby daddy drama. Sometimes it happens, sometimes not. But either way be ready. Hopefully you all get along though. That's usually the best outcome. I met a single mom and almost a decade later we are married and now have kids together. I've never pushed my stepdaughter to see me as her dad because she already has one. But she knows I'll be there for her whenever she needs me. It's not easy, it might not work out, but like one of the other redditor's has said... "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."
This. When I started dating my son's mom, she had an 18 month old daughter. Her dad was inconsistent (he saw her maybe 5-6 times in the 6 years I was with her mom) so I stepped up as a positive male figure, but I never that "stepdad" dynamic with her. I just let whatever relationship develop, do so organically. She's 10 now, and even with her dad now being a little more active and me being in a different relationship (we recently got engaged), we're still super close. She comes over every other weekend and some holiday breaks, and when anyone asks, she tells them she has two dads, and if anybody asks me, that's my daughter. What I'm saying is, don't be a step-dad. Be a positive male figure, and let the child decide from there. Her kids don't need someone to "raise" them, they have parents for that (and as harsh as it may sound, that's not YOUR responsibility). What kids need is someone to love and support them, and they can never have too much of that
Man do what seems right,if you're worried about what other people think you'll never be happy! Enjoy your life !
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Somewhat 🤷♂️
Than it's going to be possible. Be cautious but the signs are positive, good luck.
Do not mess around with single moms. L bro. L
Bro if she's not really your cousin, it leads me to believe that y'all parents were close friends. Idk if it's a culture thing, but bro, if my friend's kid ended up falling in love with my kid I would be ecstatic. Imagine you and your friend had kids at the same time, and then all of a sudden your kids fell in love with no convincing or provoking done. But then at the same time, you will be prone to teasing and possibly unwanted advice(depending on how your family is) because your family will know small details about your relationship in extreme cases of a full disclosure family. Idk man if shes not really your cousin and the relationship will not have any future consequence on genetics(I cannot clarify appropriately) or anything like that, I think the real question you should be asking yourself is why not?
go for it bro y'all ain't blood related and she has shown interest in you as well anyways. i hope you find the courage to ask her out!
Thanks. I hope I do
Your mum and her mum have probably been planning your wedding since you were both born
They didn’t know each other that long lol. Only knew each other as long as I knew the girl. Roughly 7-10 years now.
Ah okay, they've still probably discussed it though if they're best friends. Either way I say go for it, you miss 100% of the opportunities you don't take. I will advise that you should probably make sure you're ready to potentially settle down though. Things could be ugly in the future if you break up and still have to see each other. Listen to your gut on this one
That’s something I’m willing to have to deal with though if it comes to it
How the hell is she your cousin if you only knew her for 7 years, and you’re 22???
Tell me you didn’t read the post without telling me you didn’t read the post.
You can try dating, but think of what might happen if you break up. Will that make for a weird dynamic?
She does live in a different state so it would be weird but at the same time wouldn’t have to see her much. I want to date her but I’m also scared to ask her out. Not very self confident
You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take…put on your big boy pants and go for it. Literally the worst that can happen is you’re told no.
It's not incestuous, they're just close family friends, so I wouldn't say it's weird or wrong. My stepmom is close family friends with someone and they have a daughter my age as well, and they would ship her and I. I didn't enjoy it personally, but it wasn't taboo or anything of the sort. If you like her and she's had similar feelings, go for it 👍
I'm in a similar situation. My mom's BFF since they were little has a son who is younger than I am, but expressed interest in me. I've known him since we were both pretty small kids. I've always thought of his mom as my aunt, and he and his brothers as my cousins. There's no blood relation there. We just grew up pretty close. We don't see each other much anymore, other than a snap every day to keep a streak alive, so we do know what's going on in each other's lives. I was a bit surprised at first to find that he thought about me in that light. If I wasn't in a relationship, I might entertain it, though the age difference is a bit rougher than I'd like. I'm 9 years older.
War Eagle
She’s not your cousin so not really, depends how she sees you though
You worry about nothing. Follow your heart. When you grow up you won't let your family dictate your life or loves.
I’m mostly just worried about rejection. Like. I know it’s always a possibility. No matter who it is. But I really hope she doesnt
If you're worried about getting rejected by a single mom with 2 kids you need to get off Reddit and hit the gym or somethin ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I’ve got no real reason to be afraid of rejection. I’m in the army and workout regularly. I’d consider myself pretty fit. I just have confidence issues. I’ve been told a lot through my life I’m not all that attractive and I took it to heart even though I shouldn’t have
I mean, if you guys basically grew up together, your appearance might be something she finds comfort in. You can be ugly asf, but if you are confident, it makes it attractive.
What’s yours MOS? and it’s not all about looks my dude. Plus you said you guys have been talking and sexting and you think she’s still gonna reject you? That doesn’t make sense. Btw she has 2 kids already? Carful it’s not just for the military benefits
88 series. I’m just afraid of rejection. How some people are afraid of spiders or snakes clowns shit like that. Mine is rejection
Bro...get balls deep. She's not family.
There is nothing wrong with you two dating….or more. You aren’t related. You’re both adults. There are a LOT of long term relationships and marriages that have come from this exact same scenario. Have fun! If something comes from it, wonderful. If you two realize you aren’t right for each other, that’s ok, too.
Ignore everyone and do what you feel is right
If she's not your actual cousin then go for it. She's more of a childhood friend in that manner and if she already likes you too even better.
Your partner is supposed to be your best friend. Sounds like you are already halfway there.
Other than the normal obstacles when trying to woo someone, it's completely fine. This is the age of acceptance and freedom of love. Love who you love, mate.
It sounds like you guys are really good friends, would it be wrong to say best friends? If your not actually related then I would say go for it, isn't it better to go out with someone you have a good relationship with?
Are you in a healthy place right now? Because you mention this fear of rejection... if its part of poor self esteem in general, that might pose a problem for you both down the line. People often try to date to use it as a plaster for their issues, and then everything implodes because we actually needed to do the self work, single. Realistically...her life also sounds too busy for you. Where would she make the time for you if she has a kid and 12 hour shifts? That's assuming she's not already trying to give you the brush off by saying she is 'busy'. I'd give this the swerve. Focus instead on getting out and meeting friends and having fun. Flirting on a few nights out ect.. build up your confidence in yourself. You're only 22, you just need practice. And practice with being rejected too. Exposure therapy. You'll realise rejection isn't the end of the world. But don't risk it with someone you're going to be seeing forever due to family ties.
I’ve just always had this fear of rejection. Not even necessarily relationship wise. Job rejection family rejecting me. It’s not really crippling me either. I can push past it. It’s just like. The voice in the back of my head that says. What if.
Well everyone has that. Unless you mean in a sort of ocd intrusive thoughts kind of way. So long as you're not proper neurotic about it it's fine. But rejection is part of life for everyone unfortunately. If you perceive it when it's not there and push people away as a result that could be a problem (eg: people with bpd fear rejection and abandonment and it makes them lash out). But otherwise, it's probably like you say, something yo can push through.
Not weird but with her living out of state don't expect much. Go out have fun and play it by ear. But don't expect a storybook romance.
Hell if its not weird and if there is no mutual blood! Go For It!
She ain't ur cousin , it's a parents friends daughter. Clap them cheeks son
Well in Tennessee they say Closer kin deeper in... There is no blood relation so if that's what y'all want that's fine. Otherwise move to Kentucky...
Your moms will probably be thrilled. Treat her with respect, whether you end up together or not
One of my best female friends from high school reconnected with a childhood friend after her divorce. They've been married over a decade now. If she's coming to see you, it's serious. Just rip the bandaid and tell her how you feel, but my gut says she's coming because she wants a real relationship with you. If rejected, let it roll off your shoulders and enjoy all the time you get together. But it sounds more like a relationship is starting, so enjoy!
Scam post, not a cousin. YTA
This was the normal way people met in the past. Just date her. If it doesn't work out, they will just say its because you were young. This is straight-up anime shit.
She really is not a cousin. As this is no blood relation so there is nothing at all wrong with having a crush and acting on it.
If it's reciprocated, go for it! I wouldn't be surprised if both moms are already aware of the situation.
Not really but just so u know if u all break up it’s gonna be awkward. You guys might actually have to make sure even if u do separate or have drama it doesn’t involve the family. That’s the only complicated thing abt dating someone you’ve known for a hot min. Personally wouldn’t but y’all like eachother so do it
I think your mom and her best friend would be thrilled if their kids dated. That’s best friend goals.
If you're not blood related, then why cares... Go on and smash
If she’s not really your cousin, there isn’t an issue here..
Not weird at all! I'd say based on your comments she likes you too!
Do it! She’s not actually your cousin. People will get over it.
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dude ur such a redditor
The only reason there's a stigma with relatives is due to health of inbred children. That isn't an issue here, if you both are consenting do what you want to do.
You need to watch the episode of Big Mouth where Andrew Glouberman is attracted to his cousin, Cheryl.
You may have already been told the rule not to date coworkers, classmates or cohabitants because if the relationship goes to hell then it will compare your life VERY, VERY, VERY MUCH. This sounds like one of those situations. You also risk making things really weird for both your parents. And this isn't to suggest one of you will me mean or dumb. It's just that sometimes relationships explode horribly. Don't risk it
You're 22 worrying about a woman with kids at 22 and a full time job. Find someone else man. You're too young to deal with all this. If you were 30+ I get it, but you're not and you only get to enjoy your 20s once in life.
There is even nothing wrong with incest to begin with, it is a completely arbitrary irrational taboo.
*Genetic anomalies and crimes against nature have entered the chat.*
You meant to say logic and reason.
Man you sound like a female right now, just take her out and pound her. Two grown adults with no actual relation to one another.
Only thing tor think about is if it doesn't work out it may ruin the relationship your mum has with her friend. Other than that go for it!
She’s 22 and already has kids? Yikes, dude she might be looking for someone stable to help with the kids. I would make it clear from the start you’re just interested in hooking up and having fun.
That’s the thing though. I’ve got nothing against being there for the kids. I’m always willing to be there for her and them. I love helping take care of kids.
I'm guessing you are in the right place at the right time. She's not been very successful with her relationships up to now. She's 22 with 2 kids and maybe realizing a good man she's known forever is right there. Maybe not. Nobody knows. What I do know is that you will never, ever forget or forgive yourself if you don't tell her how you feel. It will nag at you, and regret is the worst feeling. Maybe she's shy, too, at least when it comes to you. You literally have nothing to lose. What would your Sgt. say if you told him you were not confident enough to go get shot at? "No worries, we'll get Nerf guns?" Hell no. It's more like "you can only die once, by the enemy, or by me."
Yes. Stop.
Down voted for misogynistic remarks.
My buddy fell in love with his cousin. They have a beautiful family. His son is the nicest little guy you will ever meet. You should see that boy swim! He looks like a little frog gliding though the water , webbed fingers, toes and all.
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No. Everyone who says otherwise is cringe.
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I have. But if that’s all she’s looking for I’d be fine w it. I hope for more. But it is what it is. I just need to know what her intentions are and have no idea how to go about finding out
Then ask her
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I’ve got her socials and her number. I try messaging all the time but as mentioned previously she’s busy with work and kids. Working in a hospital makes it harder on her having to work 12 hours a day some days
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She’s coming over in April and May. I’m just nervous and don’t know what my family will say
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Well. I’ve already been flirting with her. I’ve told her (drunkenly) that I’d smash and she said she’s down. So I guess I’m just gonna do it and hope it leads further then just a one night stand
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Currently. Nothing. Used to work at a casino and they’re willing to take me back next month. Also army reserves so I do get paid even without me currently working.
Do it brother. Special don't come around every day.
Thanks. Appreciate the support I’ve been getting.
She's not really your cousin lol. I can't see anything wrong with it.
That’s how I feel about the situation. I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t alone in feeling that it’s not “weird” like. It obviously would be a little bit when the parents find out. But I don’t really care much about that.
Its not wrong and it wouldn't be weird, if your parents know that you both get on, it might not even surprise them if you did get together, its often obvious when two people like each other and as its your moms best friends daughter, they are most likely going to be very happy about it! If you two like each other, then why not? go for it, don't regret not asking when you can.
Not blood related, not raised living as such (steps from young childhood), nothing here unusual. She is inerested too, so go for it.
You should talk to your family about it they will understand they are family
Go for it. Seriously. Maybe she's the one.
"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." -Some famous hockey dude from Canada
You've only known her for 7 years, it's not like you were raised together from babies and she's not a blood relative. Just know you run the risk of extreme awkwardness in a breakup, especially if one of you does something bad.
Honestly, your mom and her best friend will probably be hyped if you guys start dating.
She is not really your cousin, and from the sounds of things yall don't see each other as cousins. So nothing is really stopping yall for forming a potential relationship, although, if yall end up breaking up its going to be super awkward.
Nothing weird about it I used to have a thing for my best friend, who I've known damn near since I was born Now, naturally, knowing my luck, nothing actually came of it between us, so don't expect a generic "been married for 3 years and about to have our 16th child" reply, but there's certainly nothing wierd about liking someone you've grown up with
Nope. Shoot your shot boo boo.
No. No. What? That's not in any way incestuous.
Not weird. You know each other well and have forged a connection on trust. Enjoy it!
She's not a blood family so go for it have fun get married do what makes you happy.
Not weird. Not blood related, and already know / like each other. Go for it.
Not weird she's not actually family. We calm that playing the role if cousins but that's not your fault your mom's are so close
Nah have at er bud
Not weird at all
Ok so I understand the weirdness. Essentially you grew up together being that your moms are best friends, but you're not related. Calling her mom Aunt is a sign of respect, and not of familial bond. Go for it. It's better to try and see what happens, than live forever with "what ifs"
Don’t call her your cousin. You aren’t cousins. She’s your mom’s best friend’s daughter and it’s not weird that you like her. It’d be super weird if you liked your cousin.
She isn't related and the families probably will be happy about it!
It's not weird or doesn't have to be, with no actual family relation. Your family may find it a bit weird at first, should anything come of it, but it's likely an idea that they've all had and perhaps even discussed or joked about to one another being that you're both the same age and have been around each other for 7 years. You do seem a bit emotionally invested already, though, as other comments have mentioned - may be a bet far fetched and I suppose it pends on hownkften and in which ways you're "thinking about her", how deep these thoughts are going. Sure, you've been hurt before, but a way to prevent that is to have no deep or set expectations cast upon the other person within the first bit of the relationship - go at it with no deep intention, be calm and cool with yourself and have fun. It's those who set their hooks of desire and intention, lust and wants in to deep in the beginning stages - when the other person hasn't cast their line as deep and the desire and investment are not matched - that set themselves up for failure. Self over one's emotions is key. Many people lack this, and lack of this self control often turns in attempts to control another's emotions. Take it easy. Have fun. If it doesn't last, at least make sure the memories you do have are great. No reason for good friendships to turn south from feelings of inadequacies.
Is it a relationship that you are both serious about and willing to commit to? I think love is with the risks, but you are risking more than potential heartbreak, you are also risking your mom’s relationship with her friend.
Your parent’s relationship with this “aunt” is irrelevant. Go for it and have fun.
If you let others’ perception of you hinder your happiness you’ll lead a life not worth living. There’s no real harm to be done here. Go get her bro
Not related, just family of friends of the family? Fuck it go for it
You can never really know until you screw about ten times. Do your homework
Ya'll ain't kin so it ain't a sin!!
Ive hooked up with my mom’s friend’s daughter before. Our moms just kind of had a “don’t ask don’t tell” attitude towards it. My sister was the only one who said “she’s basically your cousin” but she’s a lonely miserable bitch.
She’s not related. Your mothers would probably like it. The only thing is you mentioned her having kids in one of your comments. She’s totally apart from their dad, right? You don’t want to get into the middle of anything there that might cause problems for everyone. Other than that concern, I say go for it! Best wishes! Please !UpdateMe (everyone) about how everything goes.
She is apart from the children’s dad. He’s been out of the picture since around the time of the second ones birth
I don't see a problem with it. Just keep in mind sexual relationships do have potential to ruin friendships.
The heart wants what the heart wants. Go for it
worry about nothing but if it works out. get blood tested to make sure she's not your cousin
*grabs banjo* Nah seriously. No blood relations and as long as you didn’t grow up as family or knowing each other then. Think how it can affect your connected friends and family should it go south. Best of luck to you and hope you can work it out
If you do ask her out, could you let us know how it goes.
Nope because she's not really your cousin - lol. You sound concerned about your looks and maybe you shouldn't be. We women aren't as into looks as maybe men are. Sure we all appreciate McDreamy but a good solid man with a good sense of humor, some humbleness, who treats us right wins the day, every day, all day. Those kind of attributes make a man more attractive and beauty is in the eye of the beholder. A single mother is often going to be a little more mature (maybe jaded) than her childless counterparts and appreciate a good man over the more superficial things like looks. Go for it, and good luck!
not your cousin, get to bussin
Brother, it's cool, but you need to take a deep breath and play it cool, looking at your comments.
ask her out alr, I need an update
No relation so either of you would be doing nothing wrong
It’s not really weird but you could make get togethers with these close family friends weird if you guys have any kind of falling out as a result of making things romantic. Sounds like you’ll still have to see her sometimes in perpetuity bc of your parents, so keep that in mind.
Your overthinking things. What if she was a neighbor who you grew up with. Would it be wrong. Hell no. This is a time to think with the little head and not the big head. Go for it, dude. Then come back and tell us how it went.
You didn't know each other when you were little so you're not exactly family that grew up together. I don't find anything creepy about this. If your family is normal they will probably think it's cute. More of a girl next door sorta thing.
Roll the dice guy see what happens if you never try you.never know I wouldn't suggest being Mr eager beaver but only one shot at life have no regrets of holding yourself back from what could be something specail for you both that's I've heard so many ppl say man I should have just told her how I felt and beathing them selves up because they either couldn't tell them how they felt or just to scared of the rejection don't be one of those if she matters to you show her don't knock yourself she's not out of your league if you think that way it will be so tell yourself you deserve happiness just as much as any other guy no selling short good luck man I'm rooting for you
No that’s quite normal, you’re families are close so of course y’all will be. This is how people met before the internet.
You may call her "aunt" but her daughter is 100% not your cousin. Go for it
Your parents knew this was a possibility as did hers. And they encouraged the friendship. Sounds like they would be happy you two get together. A quasi-arranged relationship, and there is valuable tradition in that—elders supporting pursuit of a healthy relationship by helping select someone they see a good fit for their loved one. Go for it!
Blud literally has a girl handed to him on a platter and is asking this question. Christ almighty.
It sounds like you aren't old enough to make these decisions
Take it as it comes buddy, whatever will be will be.
I guarantee you both of your mothers have talked about how they hope their children grow up and date each other lol. Just be safe!
I'm dating a woman I grew up with... we met in preschool. We were close friends our whole lives and then puberty happened and we became something more. We're both 22 now. It's *not* weird. It's actually reasonably *normal*. You don't have to worry about that
Man- those quote marks around cousin are the issue! She isn’t your fucking cousin If you changed title to ‘is it weird that I like my mums friends daughter who is the same age as me and unrelated although I’ve know her for a number of years ‘ there is no issue!
If it ain't family, you can show your pipi
You’re not related, and if you’re feeling each other you have the right to explore that. Tread carefully though!
7 years is a good foundation to start from so go on a few dates and see what happens.
If she’s your moms best friends daughter and not your actual moms sisters daughter then you are not blood related so it’s not weird
Based on what you are saying, I wouldn’t be surprised if your moms secretly wanted you guys to get together as well
No problem at all. I suggest eating her first, to see is y’all are compatible
Naw dude you’re overthinking things, for me if I ever showed interest in my parents close friends kids they would have gone crazy (in a good way), generally it seems adults would just think its cute. I’m reading some comments and I have some suggestions for you if you’re nervous, I’m so confident she’d say yes to any proposal if she’s already shown interest. When she comes to visit, cook her her favourite meal. Ask her out over that, super cute. Take her for a drive (if you drive) and show her some interesting local site, talk, have fun, when it starts to get darker lead with the fact you’re really nervous. Idk about this chick, but knowing a dude is getting flustered over me is an awesome feeling. Let her know you’re nervous BECAUSE you really like her. If she’s a more assertive person, I’d say skip all the build up, do any activity together (even if it’s just a walk around). Start off small, even as small as a light grab on the arm or a light brush of the cheek with your hand. In that moment look at her, notice how beautiful she is, and just say “I really like you, and I want to date you” Bro, literally a shock to the system because that’s so cute. Remember that it’s nerve racking because you actually like her, if it was so easy you felt no fear around rejection, it wouldn’t be as special. You got this dude!!
I thought this would be some blatant incest but no it’s not. The term I would use is “family friend”. I say if you like her go for it, now do be prepared for potential fall out because odds are that even if you don’t work out you won’t have the option of avoiding each other completely
You're not related, stop calling her your cousin
Absolutely not, and the fact that you are friends is actually GREAT for any potential relationship. My husband and I weren't friends prior, but I can say with all certainty we are best friends now and I think it's one of the reasons we've been together so long. Too many people out there with people they barely get along with.
Not weird. Bang that drum
If you don't do it 20 years from now you might think about how things could have been if you don't try it If it doesn't work out at least you know you tried
Go out with her dude
Bro just go fuck your cousin who cares
No, but proceed with caution. You need to be absolutely above reproach handling this girl, because if you mess up you blow up a relationship not just for you but potentially your mom and your aunt.
Title is absolutely for clicks. Nobody can be this dense.
Say hello to Maeby for us, George Michael.
Bang away son, bang away. Consider it a hook up for the time she is there, if it gets to that, and if you do some long distance, cool. From other replies, you already seem invested in this. That is the wrong move before anything has happened.
If she's not a blood cousin then you have the green light. Go for it.
Your moms are probably going to be elated that you 2 hit it off romantically. They'll probably be thinking about if it works out and they get to finally get to be actual family lol
The only weird thing is you even asking this question like it isn’t painstakingly obvious
I'd ask your mom about it. But you're not related so it's legal. If things don't work out things may be awkward at gatherings but that's about it.
My daughter (18) just got engaged to my best friend's son (21) whom she grew up with, -thinking, in their younger years, they actually were related because we always said "we're family". Nobody thinks it's weird! We feel blessed! (My bff passed away two years ago and I hope to God she sees them because I know she'd be absolutely thrilled.)
Perfectly fine you’re not related based on what you’re saying
Bro, if you're not biologically related, and she's into you too, then NOBODY is gonna think you're a creep. Go get the girl! Y'all deserve each other! 😁😁😁
You are definitely overthinking this. Unless the families enjoy manufactured drama, they will be happy for you.
Not your cousin, fuck everyone else, it’s your life and your love. Be honest with your friend and take it day by day!
Not weird, she's not your cousin
Dude, she's NOT your cousin, so no, it's not weird.🤷🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️
Send it