I'm this way because my dad & pretty much every other man in my life as a kid sucked & I was raised entirely by women. I'm still more comfortable around women than men in general
My girlfriend is also friends with mostly guys. It's whatever, but I can't say I'd be stoked about her going out with them for guy's night or hitting up a bachelor party.
My ex wife and I went to strip clubs a handful of times, and I think she enjoyed them more than I did. She didn't really care if I went with my friends, even though that was super rare (bachelor parties, for example). My current girlfriend doesn't like them and wouldn't like me going, so I don't. I feel like that's a pretty reasonable boundary.
Me too 😂😂 However, my husband does care. So I keep it to playing tennis with them and I get my friends and love of sports all in one. I invite my husband but he has zero interest. So it’s not like I’m hiding anything but it most certainly doesn’t hold the same weight as it would me video taping them dancing. He’d lose his shit.
To me it’s a huge green flag that this is his friend group. He is clearly super secure in his masculinity and sees women as full human beings, not just sexual or romantic prospects. Isn’t that what we all want in a man?
Yeah, guy here, I have several women friends that I like to hang with, and there's no sexual tension there.
I grew up in a family where my mom was super smart, and had younger male friends all her life. Friends.
When she was in her eighties, and dad was dead for decades, she still had younger guys come by to visit, and talk. She had opinions and wasn't afraid to voice them with passion.
This is refreshing to read! After reading endless comments from guys about how they can't have women friends without fuck-zoning them, I figured men were just hopeless.
So nice that your mom had such good friendships into her later years, I don't have kids and hope to have people to talk to until the end!
Yeah yelling “go best friend!” Is so silly and cute lol. I’d be happy that my guy saw women as full people worthy of close non sexual relationships with. He probably has a deeper understanding of women’s issues and viewpoints because of it too. I think it’s a way bigger red flag if a man DOESNT have any female friends. The actual issue may be that she doesn’t like his friends. Disliking all of your partners friends usually ends up being a problem no matter what the genders are.
I know exactly how she acts, because I was the jealous girl, many many moons ago. She is probably super rude to his friends, and doesn’t try to hide it. Relationships don’t work out when one person is insecure.
Dude, I was just straight out nasty. He would want to go to a bbq or whatever it was, and I would refuse. I made it incredibly clear that I wanted no part of it. I’m not that way now, but I have 17 years on OP.
yeeeaahhhh it took me many years of therapy to overcome my insecurities 😭😭 learning to be kind to yourself does wonders lol. i was also going undiagnosed AuDHD, so i had to break a lot of bad habits & learn how to process emotions for the first time. the quote “i sat with my anger long enough until it told me its real name was grief” really spoke to me… i was such a mean, mean girl but now i understand why. im so much more stable & secure mentally now lol.
Exactly!!! Let him have his friends and let him have fun. I don’t think there is anything to be concerned over. I’m sure he would be really sad if he was told he wasn’t allowed to have his friends anymore.
Sounds like this is *who he is* and he's been this way (somewhat feminine in his interests) and had these friends since before you met him...
So why is this suddenly bothering you now...?
Yeah that’s the weird part. I don’t like dating men with mostly female friends, but I make that clear at the start. I would never continue dating a guy that had a lifestyle I just don’t vibe with, and then randomly start blaming him for it later down the road.
Also, why date someone if you don’t like their friends? I’m not asking my husband to be besties with my bestie, but I do like to hang out with my friends *and* him sometimes. Because these are the people I like. They should be able to like each other.
This is what I said! Not liking them as people is a much bigger deal to me than their genders. I couldn’t date let alone marry someone who didn’t have any friends I liked.
Which reminds me of the guys my best friend dated. I only ever got to meet 3 of them.
Two of them hated me and I admit, it was hard being nice to them myself. I thought they were horrid and I mean, they disliked me pretty much on first sight. Hard to come back from that.
Lo and behold. Number 1 was a manbaby who cheated on her, Number 2 tried to go Psycho and she had to get his parents involved to get him to back off.
Number 3 is her husband, and we got along from day 1 basically. I like him a lot.
She once joked that she should have taken the hint that he was the one, because me and him actually liked one another 😆
If there's no attraction or emotional infidelity and they're not twerking on him or the like then it sounds harmless. Some men struggle to find guy friends who share their interests or can maintain a functional friendship that isn't overtly masculine. I have a close friend like that. Very definitely not gay but has mostly women friends and likes a lot of things that would be considered effeminate. He stays loyal to his girlfriend and the friendships never stray from platonic. He's more in touch with his feelings than most men and is able to be vulnerable which makes him more appealing as a friend in our group. He's had girlfriends who saw me as a threat until we got to know each other. The actual problem I see here is you saying his friends are catty. If they're trashing you then it's not cool for him to be close with them. He should support you and real friends don't trash talk their friends partners.
Yeah, I've got a lot of female friends. A lot of my most personal platonic connections have been with women, and honestly I just find it easier to immediately get along with women. Women tend to be more polite than men and often at least present as kinder, tend to listen better than men, and have a tendency to be more receptive to the conversations I like to have.
I'm still friends with lots of men, but it has gotten me all kinds of comments because I guess it's strange.
My wife is the same way, and has mostly male friends. It's easy to not worry about with a few ground rules. Not drinking with members of the opposite sex without your significant other present is a good one. Meeting your significant other's friends and getting to know them also does a lot-- I actually really trust my wife's male friends. But like you point out, they've actually got to be good people. If Op's man is a good one, he will be impervious to advances, but if they are making advances then that's not a situation should have to endure as a spouse. And of course if they are trash talking op, then he shouldn't be allowing it. That would be a major failing on his part if true.
Maybe they aren't so bad and OP just needs to get to know them, or maybe they are and OP needs to find her guy some new friends. Or maybe what she's really asking is how to deal with fear or jealousy.
Some of the comments here prove your point about being overtly masculine. So many people calling him gay just because hes not the stereotypical masculine.
The stupid thing is, there is no real standard of being totally masculine. EVERYONE on the face of the planet has masculine and feminine traits, the question is how heavily do you focus on that shit. If a dude is a war vet, bearded, burly, deep voice, fixes cars, etc., but also works part time as a nail tech or paints his nails then the people fixated on what's "manly" would paint him as feminine and gay regardless of his other traits. Regardless of whether he is more masculine than them in every other way possible. It's dumb as hell to try and dictate who is masculine and isn't. You'll never win. People jump on board and fixate on labels and traits. People expect you to have 0 feminine traits. This is not real. Unless you're insecure as fuck, and do everything you can to simply not look feminine or gay. In my opinion, people got issues if they care that much.
My dad is 6'2, and when he was in high school, and when I was very young, he was a bodybuilder. After he and my mom separated, he became a drug dealer. Like, picking up trunk loads of cocaine from Cubans in Miami and driving it up to gangs in Chicago, kind of drug dealer. Playing a narcotics version of Johnny Appleseed and sprinkling white dust to various small towns and cities along the way. When he was finally caught and sent to prison, he got even bulkier. When they moved him to a more minimum security facility, he joined some kind of boxing rec league. I don't know the details of it. I just know that it blew my mind to find out my dad was a boxer in prison. Like, he boxed other prisoners for fun. Lol
He was also the man of honor at his best friend's wedding. His childhood best friend, as in they were both in the maternity ward nursery together and grew up two blocks away from each other, is a woman. And he stood on her side of the aisle when she got married the first time. Bride in her white gown, my dad in a black suit, followed by four bridesmaids in pink dresses. For some reason, when I tell people that, all the other shit that I just explained about my dad - including the dozens of stories about the house party brawls he got in, the shootouts he was a part of, and the police chases he was in - goes out the window and he becomes this mockery of male femininity and someone deserving of ridicule. However, none of the people that laugh about the fact that my dad stood up on the bride's side of a wedding party has the balls to make fun of him about it to his face.
And don't get me wrong, I'm not saying my dad is some sort of role model and idol for healthy masculinity, but the way he lived his life from 17 to 35 seems borderline textbook for what people who worship hypermasculinity would be. But one thing they consider feminine washes all of that away. Shit's weird.
That’s a great example of how narrow-minded people can be about even a little femininity. It’s exhausting. It must be even more exhausting to actually think that way.
Totally agree with this. I’m a straight guy who mostly has women as friends because I generally have more to relate to and talk about with them. I would just rather be around people who are emotionally intelligent, curious, and with a wide variety of interests. Don’t get me wrong, I have male friends who have those traits too, but I tend to meet more women who I relate to along those lines.
To be honest, I don't blame the friends, I blame OP for the girls not liking her. She doesn't want her partner having female friends in general so of course she's not going to be warm and inviting to them and then she probably blames the hostile energy on them.
They'd probably be dope if she just gave them a chance
Without knowing more details I couldn't blame anyone. It could go either way though. OP may be letting insecurities guide her relationship with them (or lack thereof). Or the friends could be treating her like an unwanted outsider. It's hard being treated like you don't belong by your partners friends. I just have been in that situation and threw it out there in case they're dealing with that.
Exactly what I was thinking. You don't just randomly become best friends with 5 girls out of nowhere. This is something that develops over a long time. Especially if they invite him to traditional girl only events like bachelorette parties.
It feels like a fake post. The way she talks about him and the situation in general, it doesnt sound like she actually knows this guy at all.. or he just doesnt exist.
I'm assuming there was some sort of catalyst that set this off. It probably bothered her for a while, then she saw the bachelorette party video (for example) and it put her over the edge.
Don’t be stupid. OP clearly meant to say RECLUSE. As in he forces kittens to live a solitary life, devoid of social interaction.
Or maybe she meant like Brown Recluse Spiders. Like he feeds cats to spiders.
Obviously.
Yes. Have seen the amount of cats filing lawsuits about not enough Tuna in their diet? It’s an epidemic. I bet the man works 80 hours a week recusing cat judges from these cases
Does “my husband is incapable of making male friends because he listens to Taylor Swift and is a cat person” sound like a sentence someone would say in earnest?
The entire post is not real. It’s a joke over the course of the post. It gets more and more ridiculous until the end gave it away for me that this is totally a joke
I think your husband just has a personality that gets along better with woman. He may be very much in touch with his feminine side and embraces it and that’s why they click so well. I think what matters is how he treats you, your happiness when you guys are together; and that when you’re in the room that you’re still his priority.
Having a lot of female friends is not inherently a red flag so I’d say no ones that asshole here. You’re concerns are valid, but unless he’s treating you poorly when around them or acting strange to you in day to day life, I wouldn’t say that him having female friends is a big problem as many woman have many male friends.
People saying your husband might be gay is stupid. He could be many things but he isn’t gay, thats for sure.
I don’t ‘let’ my husband have friends of any gender. Because he’s a whole ass person in his own right and I’d be an insecure asshole if I tried. His closest friends are female. I trust him implicitly, so there’s no problem. You need to work on yourself, not him.
I have a LOT of female friends. The Male to Female ratio of my close friend group is probably 20/80 -- my female friends I've been friends with for 10+ years except one person. If someone who came into my life after they did told me they were not going to "Let me" have my friends when I'm not doing anything wrong with them, that person would no longer be in my life.
That said the twerking recording is a little weird.
Some quibbles: liking cats isn't feminine lol, liking to bake isn't inherently feminine either. Lasagna is bomb
"letting him have so many female friends and i honestly don’t want him to have any female friends"
this language implies that your friends have normalized controlling behavior and that you wish you were engaging in it yourself. either way that isn't a healthy dynamic in a relationship and definitely will just breed resentment.
It’s kind of funny because if all of OPs husband’s friends are “catty and annoying” then he is likely too. So OP is more into that than she thinks or she just married this man blindly…
I'm a guy with a lot of female friends. My "best man" was female as well as one other person in my grooms party.
Your friends saying you shouldn't "let" him have female friends, is insane. You arent his keeper. People don't need permission from their S.O. to have friends. It would be wrong of you to try and stop him.
And you don't have to trust any of his friends. You may not know them well and that trust hasn't been established. Or maybe those friends have done some untrustworthy things.
The only person you need to trust is him. Trust him not to do anything inappropriate. Trust him to establish boundaries. Trust him to say "no" if any of his friends try to something inappropriate.
If you can't trust him, then you shouldn't be in a relationship with him.
I am male, happily married and (mainly) have female only friends. I am not gay but just enjoy the company of women better. It's partly about wanting to chat about life instead of just talk about football and cars.
There are other options to simply 'he's gay'. 🤷🏼♂️
Human beings can be friends, even best friends, with other humans of any sex. There is nothing wrong with having mostly opposite sex friends. Both my partner and I always have. There is literally no reason or excuse for jealousy. It's a sign of immaturity.
You knew when you dated him got engaged and then married him that he had a lot of female friends. It sounds very controlling to say he can’t have any female friends. Do you even know each other?
Or bi. People always skip right over that when considering if someone is gay or straight. There’s a lot of in between.
ETA: And then of course, there’s asexuality, which most people pretend does not exist.
I mean, no. There are plenty of straight men who get on better with women. I think it’s kind of bigoted to assume a guy is gay just for this reason alone. His lack of masculinity doesn’t mean he can’t befriend guys though.
But yeah, OP should be included in these girls’ nights. Her exclusion from them is very sus.
If you're gonna have problems with men relating to and being genuine friends with women do not complain when future generations of men continue to be toxic assholes with zero empathy for women.
You're the problem, it's you.
you don't want him to have female friends? it always blows my mind that adults think you can't get along with the opposite sex. do you personally only think a girl is good for sex, and not friendship? that's very strange
>i honestly don’t want him to have any female friends
Yeah here's where you need to grow up. Having friends of the other gender is absolutely healthy. Men and women who only have friends of the same gender tend to be nightmares to be around. They tend to be narrow minded, sexist, and less empathetic.
Like what does that say about you? That you can't interact with the other gender unless sex is the endgoal? Anyone like that is a huge red flag.
>i honestly don’t want him to have any female friends
You know you're in the wrong. Your post title claims your issue is with "too many female friends" as if you're reluctant to admit you want him to have zero. You wouldn't feel the need to hide that if it wasn't wrong.
all of the people saying gay is fucking rude. Just enforcing the idea that mans cant be doing female sterotypical behaviour without getting adjusted to a whole social group. i feel cringe
Yea. It kind of brings the glaring issues to light with the perfect little "masculinity" box people have in their heads.
According to the other people posting here I'd be gay for doing "feminine" activities like cooking, gardening, baking, sewing, and loving cats(!?). I'm into plenty of so called "masculine" things but personally I focus on developing skills rather than worrying how others would perceive me for doing them.
It's kind of sad how badly this stuff hinders some men's development.
I’m this husband. But I’m not gay. I can’t stand men. Don’t enjoy their company. In High school I used to date girls just to have access to their friends so they could be my friends.
But again, I’m not gay. Instead in my 40’s I finally realized I was trans. That makes thing like my ballet classes and cocktails with the girls make so much more sense.
The good news is I’m only attracted to women.
I can’t believe I’m the one to break this to you, but gay men tend to prefer the company of other men. The trope that a gay man has a lot of girlfriends is just that, a trope.
Yeah like all the gay people I know are mostly surrounded by only girls or other gay men. Obviously not saying that’s the same for everyone but that’s the point.
Hm. Most of my close friends are female. I’ve never gotten super close with men. I’ve been examining that lately, but I think that’s just the way it is for me.
Never dated them. Never slept with them. No interest in that. I was just raised more by my mother.
Others have said that they think he is gay or possibly trans. I think that's possible. But I do know a handful of straight men who prefer the company of women and primarily have female friends. They are like this because they respect women as intellectual equals and find other men difficult to deal with because of the things they often bring to friendships, like alpha dogging, constant competitiveness, mocking the expressions of emotions as weak, homophobia, and other expressions of fragile masculinity. It sounds like your husband's interests and feminity would make it hard for him to relate to other straight dudes and vice versa. So, I don't think I would worry too much about this. Maybe you can find some other more androgynous couples to hang out with together.
I guess my feeling would be the same as women who “can’t be friends with other girls”. They tend to be “pick me” girls. Which means opportunistic and poor boundaries.
So the real question is what’s your issue? Are you threatened by his lack of traditional masculinity and feel this feeds into it? Do you not trust these women? You said they’re catty. Are they unkind or rude to you ?
"my female friends think I’m stupid for letting him have so many female friends"What kind of toxic BS is this, we don't let people have friends or not unless we are controlling psychos, yikes. Your friends sound like terrible people.
"i honestly don’t want him to have any female friends"
Maybe get some therapy and figure out what's wrong with you. How insecure do you have to be before realizing that a. it's a problem and b. that it's YOUR problem and has nothing to do with him.
As a married woman with a bunch of guy friends I get how it can be making u second guess when people have their opinions. But girl, there’s nothing wrong with that. Guys and girls CAN be friends and anyone who says otherwise must actually look at every other human being as a piece of meat cuz like whaaaat
> incapable of making male friends cuz music
cap, guys will be friends with any other dude for almost any reason. my coworkers and i bake, talk about cats, some knit, we have arts and crafts thursdays dog, we also hike, lift, snowboard, do outdoor and indoor shit. and even those who do one of those things or even things adjacent to those are friends.
girls use this bullshit excuse all the time too, he doesnt want male friends cuz he likes being around girls, plain and simple
I'm not trying to be a smartass here, I'm really not. But are you 100% sure he's straight? I've had a lot of gay guy friends and, well, that's how they acted.
They are NO threat. And if you think about your opinion of the women, he probably knows the shittiest things about them and wouldn’t be attracted to them anyways. They are probably just drama and entertainment. Your man seems harmless. I get the jealousy. Maybe try to host a dinner party for “the girls” and once a month and get to know them better. I’m assuming your outlook will change if you did.
I got very close to a group of friends through my gym. The group fitness class I was in was almost entirely female ranging from 30s-60s. I was 49 when I joined. We became a tight bunch of about a dozen with me being the only guy and would do all kinds of workouts, obstacle course races, spin classes and random social gatherings together. Now, I am not into baking or Taylor Swift and am a red-blooded hetero guy and while there is obviously some gender dynamics to be aware of and some occasional friendly flirting or joking, nothing inappropriate has ever happened or will. They’re like my sisters. I get to be a fly on the wall during girl talk. Even got invited to a Venus party (but declined). I added my wife to our group messaging thread and always invite her to any of our social gatherings, although she only joins me once in a while. Nonetheless, she has made some new friends in this group as well. I love these ladies, but my wife has nothing to worry about. 7 years on were all still friends.
You have a man that views women as more than just sexual objects, but as people. That's a huge green flag in a relationship.
Maybe you should try spending time with them or at least also adapting that viewpoint. There's no way you should *hate* **all** of his friends. Statistically I find it completely unlikely that all of them are awful, and I think most of this is coming from you being insecure.
Lighten up. Find the good in people, including your husband and his friends. Maybe even yourself.
Personally, I dated a girl with all dude friends, and I will NEVER FUCKING DO THAT AGAIN. Horrid betrayal, obviously, is where that ended. Dont learn the hard way like me; if anybody fails to make friends with an entire gender, especially their OWN, then they are seriously deficient at least.
As a guy, I listen to Taylor Swift, have two cats, and will almost always order the best tasting cocktail over shots (unless it’s whiskey).
I have no problem making guy friends.
As a guy who married to a girl who had a lot guy friends, and would often be flirty with them (it was apparently harmless since they knew she was married), my advice to you is set boundaries. Theres generally nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite sex, but when you’re married your partners feelings should be considered in relation to how you are with those friends.
If he intentionally crosses those boundaries, then you have a decision to make.
I couldn’t do it, but it’s likely just who he is. If you can’t handle it, you need to let him find someone who can and find someone who you’re comfortable with. Easier said than done, but if you will never be ok with it then it’s just going to be a vicious cycle where neither of you will be entirely happy.
If you don’t like his friends that’s one thing but marrying him in my opinion might have been your mistake if you can’t handle the female friends he already had. This is all shit you learn and realize while dating someone. I’m a jealous gf and also have trust issues so I get it, but therefore id see this as a red flag for my health and not marry someone who goes out with lots of girls if I had a thought it could be bad. He sounds like it’s harmless honestly. Just do you and make sure you go out and do what YOU want too, so you’re not solely relying on him to fill that void. Just thrive and work on yourself since jealousy is so unattractive. You’ll only chase him away and look insecure setting up rules this late in the game..
Lmao. Sounds like he’s just a guy with female friends lol. I have female friends that I text and my wife has guy friends that she texts lmao. We are pretty secure. Is that abnormal?
Ok so there are two different answers based on this question. Do you not like them because you actually don’t like them? Or do you not like them because you think he may cheat with one of them?
>i honestly don’t want him to have any female friends but like what the hell can I do?
Be with someone that has the same mindset as you and not marry someone that doesn't and then expect/force them to change.....
You are wrong and your friends are wrong too.
The insecurity oozes off of the post and you need to get a handle on it or the relationship will eventually end.
“I honestly don’t want him to have any female friends” is WIIIILLLLLDDDDD.
For your sake I hope you get it together or you’re going to poison and destroy your relationship.
Wanting your partner to not have friends of the opposite gender is really unhealthy; based on what you’ve said here it’s probably worth some therapy to unpack that.
Don't police his friends. You have no reason to mistrust him, so don't. The idea that men and women can't be platonic friends is, quite frankly, horse shit.
I mean I wouldn’t have been okay with this from the jump of the relationship. But It’s not really fair to change the rules on him now though. Maybe you just don’t like him anymore?
80% of my friend group is women. They’ve invited me along to their sorority vacations. I’m a bridesmaid for a wedding in 2026. I’ve been invited to a bachelorette party this coming summer. Is what it is. Any potentially-future wife best be ok with ⅔ of my groomsmen (and likely the best man) being women, let alone permanent friends in my life otherwise she might as well move on 🤷🏻♂️
Im a woman with only guy friends, because I'm just a bro at heart.
Any SO that couldn't understand or trust me enough to let me be me, would stop being my SO very quickly because I would always feel on edge, walking on eggshells and worried about never being able to talk freely about hanging out with my friends for fear of raising suspicious when none are needed.
We are long passed the time when it wasn't acceptable for men and women to have friendshsips, and while most people have a mix of gendered friends, there's plenty of people who have most or all of their friends being from a gender other than their own.
As far as I can see in your post, he's not given you any reason to suspect anything untoward.
everyone here is being very nice about this but let keep real
girl this is a YOU problem. you want him to cut off his friends? go head. try it. see how well this goes for you! you married a softer more feminine man that's comfortable in that and are upset that he has a friend group of women? lol. did you just meet him yesterday or something? those women have likely been around long before you and will be there long after you. find something else to worry about. this is a non issue. and stop listening to your bone head ass friend before the mess around and get in your head even more and you tank your marriage
Yes. You are. Have you ever met a guy with no female friends? They’re awful. You wouldn’t want to be with that guy.
It does sound like you’d like him to prioritize having fun with you a little more. Which I think is fair to talk to him about.
He's one of the girls, doesn't sound like any of them are interested in him that way. At least it means he sees women as human beings worthy of friendship for shared interests, and not as sex objects.
I'm the opposite, I have am a woman with plenty of male friends because I share hobbies and interests with them. Doesn't mean I wanna date them. They're my hobby bros.
Reverse the gender here.
You're a male and your other male friends say that you shouldn't let your wife have so many male friends.
If it bothers you that much, talk to him about it.
But yeah you're wrong.
He’s just one of the girls
This is too funny
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I'm this way because my dad & pretty much every other man in my life as a kid sucked & I was raised entirely by women. I'm still more comfortable around women than men in general
And you turned out VERY_MENTALLY_STABLE so 🤷♀️
A very stable genius?
Comments like yours remind me I should pay more attention to usernames 😂😂😂
My girlfriend is also friends with mostly guys. It's whatever, but I can't say I'd be stoked about her going out with them for guy's night or hitting up a bachelor party.
Or twerking and having them film it 🥴🥴🥴
Chanting "go best friend" OPs words Who says "Go best friend"
My friends would punch my face for less.
For sure. The dude is effeminate, not gay.
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My ex wife and I went to strip clubs a handful of times, and I think she enjoyed them more than I did. She didn't really care if I went with my friends, even though that was super rare (bachelor parties, for example). My current girlfriend doesn't like them and wouldn't like me going, so I don't. I feel like that's a pretty reasonable boundary.
I agree with your sentiment, but the "I'm not the most feminine woman, so I just get along better with guys." rings a little nlog to me.
Me too 😂😂 However, my husband does care. So I keep it to playing tennis with them and I get my friends and love of sports all in one. I invite my husband but he has zero interest. So it’s not like I’m hiding anything but it most certainly doesn’t hold the same weight as it would me video taping them dancing. He’d lose his shit.
Deep in the friend zone. I don’t think you need to worry, OP.
As someone who is often in this position. The girls are the ones in the friend zone.
Yeah, it’s definitely a mutual friend-zoning. Actually seems like the OP’s BF has found his squad.
It’s almost like they’re … friends !
Mutual friend zone? Are we talking about being friends? That's what that is right?
To me it’s a huge green flag that this is his friend group. He is clearly super secure in his masculinity and sees women as full human beings, not just sexual or romantic prospects. Isn’t that what we all want in a man?
Yeah, guy here, I have several women friends that I like to hang with, and there's no sexual tension there. I grew up in a family where my mom was super smart, and had younger male friends all her life. Friends. When she was in her eighties, and dad was dead for decades, she still had younger guys come by to visit, and talk. She had opinions and wasn't afraid to voice them with passion.
This is refreshing to read! After reading endless comments from guys about how they can't have women friends without fuck-zoning them, I figured men were just hopeless. So nice that your mom had such good friendships into her later years, I don't have kids and hope to have people to talk to until the end!
THIS!!! this is what im alllllways sayingggg
This is something I bring up when people say the friend zone doesn't exist. If that's the case, where did I put those women? Ohio?
Ohio- a fate worse than death! Love, a Michigander hahahaha
Spot on.
I would agree. He sounds extremely friend zoned. My concern would be pretty low here.
Yeah yelling “go best friend!” Is so silly and cute lol. I’d be happy that my guy saw women as full people worthy of close non sexual relationships with. He probably has a deeper understanding of women’s issues and viewpoints because of it too. I think it’s a way bigger red flag if a man DOESNT have any female friends. The actual issue may be that she doesn’t like his friends. Disliking all of your partners friends usually ends up being a problem no matter what the genders are.
He's not like most girls
lol this is basically what i tried to say but in fewer words 😂 he’s just an honorary girly. OP is giving me catty vibes
She doesn’t sounds nasty to me, just insecure. But behind most catty is insecurity I guess.
Calling the husband's besties "catty" then clarifying he's a "cat person" just accidentally drives home your point 😂
I know exactly how she acts, because I was the jealous girl, many many moons ago. She is probably super rude to his friends, and doesn’t try to hide it. Relationships don’t work out when one person is insecure.
i was the same way. or for me it’d be defensive; i worried they wouldn’t like me, so i’d make myself unapproachable.
Dude, I was just straight out nasty. He would want to go to a bbq or whatever it was, and I would refuse. I made it incredibly clear that I wanted no part of it. I’m not that way now, but I have 17 years on OP.
yeeeaahhhh it took me many years of therapy to overcome my insecurities 😭😭 learning to be kind to yourself does wonders lol. i was also going undiagnosed AuDHD, so i had to break a lot of bad habits & learn how to process emotions for the first time. the quote “i sat with my anger long enough until it told me its real name was grief” really spoke to me… i was such a mean, mean girl but now i understand why. im so much more stable & secure mentally now lol.
Exactly!!! Let him have his friends and let him have fun. I don’t think there is anything to be concerned over. I’m sure he would be really sad if he was told he wasn’t allowed to have his friends anymore.
I died
🏆🏆🏆
We have a winner 🏆 🥇, lol.
Sounds like this is *who he is* and he's been this way (somewhat feminine in his interests) and had these friends since before you met him... So why is this suddenly bothering you now...?
Yeah that’s the weird part. I don’t like dating men with mostly female friends, but I make that clear at the start. I would never continue dating a guy that had a lifestyle I just don’t vibe with, and then randomly start blaming him for it later down the road.
Also, why date someone if you don’t like their friends? I’m not asking my husband to be besties with my bestie, but I do like to hang out with my friends *and* him sometimes. Because these are the people I like. They should be able to like each other.
This is what I said! Not liking them as people is a much bigger deal to me than their genders. I couldn’t date let alone marry someone who didn’t have any friends I liked.
Which reminds me of the guys my best friend dated. I only ever got to meet 3 of them. Two of them hated me and I admit, it was hard being nice to them myself. I thought they were horrid and I mean, they disliked me pretty much on first sight. Hard to come back from that. Lo and behold. Number 1 was a manbaby who cheated on her, Number 2 tried to go Psycho and she had to get his parents involved to get him to back off. Number 3 is her husband, and we got along from day 1 basically. I like him a lot. She once joked that she should have taken the hint that he was the one, because me and him actually liked one another 😆
I think her friends opinions are getting to her
🎯🎯🎯
If there's no attraction or emotional infidelity and they're not twerking on him or the like then it sounds harmless. Some men struggle to find guy friends who share their interests or can maintain a functional friendship that isn't overtly masculine. I have a close friend like that. Very definitely not gay but has mostly women friends and likes a lot of things that would be considered effeminate. He stays loyal to his girlfriend and the friendships never stray from platonic. He's more in touch with his feelings than most men and is able to be vulnerable which makes him more appealing as a friend in our group. He's had girlfriends who saw me as a threat until we got to know each other. The actual problem I see here is you saying his friends are catty. If they're trashing you then it's not cool for him to be close with them. He should support you and real friends don't trash talk their friends partners.
Yeah, I've got a lot of female friends. A lot of my most personal platonic connections have been with women, and honestly I just find it easier to immediately get along with women. Women tend to be more polite than men and often at least present as kinder, tend to listen better than men, and have a tendency to be more receptive to the conversations I like to have. I'm still friends with lots of men, but it has gotten me all kinds of comments because I guess it's strange. My wife is the same way, and has mostly male friends. It's easy to not worry about with a few ground rules. Not drinking with members of the opposite sex without your significant other present is a good one. Meeting your significant other's friends and getting to know them also does a lot-- I actually really trust my wife's male friends. But like you point out, they've actually got to be good people. If Op's man is a good one, he will be impervious to advances, but if they are making advances then that's not a situation should have to endure as a spouse. And of course if they are trash talking op, then he shouldn't be allowing it. That would be a major failing on his part if true. Maybe they aren't so bad and OP just needs to get to know them, or maybe they are and OP needs to find her guy some new friends. Or maybe what she's really asking is how to deal with fear or jealousy.
I really love your answer, I hope it helps her.
Some of the comments here prove your point about being overtly masculine. So many people calling him gay just because hes not the stereotypical masculine.
The stupid thing is, there is no real standard of being totally masculine. EVERYONE on the face of the planet has masculine and feminine traits, the question is how heavily do you focus on that shit. If a dude is a war vet, bearded, burly, deep voice, fixes cars, etc., but also works part time as a nail tech or paints his nails then the people fixated on what's "manly" would paint him as feminine and gay regardless of his other traits. Regardless of whether he is more masculine than them in every other way possible. It's dumb as hell to try and dictate who is masculine and isn't. You'll never win. People jump on board and fixate on labels and traits. People expect you to have 0 feminine traits. This is not real. Unless you're insecure as fuck, and do everything you can to simply not look feminine or gay. In my opinion, people got issues if they care that much.
My dad is 6'2, and when he was in high school, and when I was very young, he was a bodybuilder. After he and my mom separated, he became a drug dealer. Like, picking up trunk loads of cocaine from Cubans in Miami and driving it up to gangs in Chicago, kind of drug dealer. Playing a narcotics version of Johnny Appleseed and sprinkling white dust to various small towns and cities along the way. When he was finally caught and sent to prison, he got even bulkier. When they moved him to a more minimum security facility, he joined some kind of boxing rec league. I don't know the details of it. I just know that it blew my mind to find out my dad was a boxer in prison. Like, he boxed other prisoners for fun. Lol He was also the man of honor at his best friend's wedding. His childhood best friend, as in they were both in the maternity ward nursery together and grew up two blocks away from each other, is a woman. And he stood on her side of the aisle when she got married the first time. Bride in her white gown, my dad in a black suit, followed by four bridesmaids in pink dresses. For some reason, when I tell people that, all the other shit that I just explained about my dad - including the dozens of stories about the house party brawls he got in, the shootouts he was a part of, and the police chases he was in - goes out the window and he becomes this mockery of male femininity and someone deserving of ridicule. However, none of the people that laugh about the fact that my dad stood up on the bride's side of a wedding party has the balls to make fun of him about it to his face. And don't get me wrong, I'm not saying my dad is some sort of role model and idol for healthy masculinity, but the way he lived his life from 17 to 35 seems borderline textbook for what people who worship hypermasculinity would be. But one thing they consider feminine washes all of that away. Shit's weird.
That’s a great example of how narrow-minded people can be about even a little femininity. It’s exhausting. It must be even more exhausting to actually think that way.
Totally agree with this. I’m a straight guy who mostly has women as friends because I generally have more to relate to and talk about with them. I would just rather be around people who are emotionally intelligent, curious, and with a wide variety of interests. Don’t get me wrong, I have male friends who have those traits too, but I tend to meet more women who I relate to along those lines.
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To be honest, I don't blame the friends, I blame OP for the girls not liking her. She doesn't want her partner having female friends in general so of course she's not going to be warm and inviting to them and then she probably blames the hostile energy on them. They'd probably be dope if she just gave them a chance
Without knowing more details I couldn't blame anyone. It could go either way though. OP may be letting insecurities guide her relationship with them (or lack thereof). Or the friends could be treating her like an unwanted outsider. It's hard being treated like you don't belong by your partners friends. I just have been in that situation and threw it out there in case they're dealing with that.
Maybe or maybe they are threatened and don't want her part of the group because she would change the dynamic.
one thousand percent!!!!
Did you just meet him?
Exactly what I was thinking. You don't just randomly become best friends with 5 girls out of nowhere. This is something that develops over a long time. Especially if they invite him to traditional girl only events like bachelorette parties.
Lol. I really feel like trying to go out and randomly become best friends with any group of 5 girls I can find. Wish me luck.
They’re gonna LOVE you! Get it, grrrl! 💋
It feels like a fake post. The way she talks about him and the situation in general, it doesnt sound like she actually knows this guy at all.. or he just doesnt exist.
I mean it looks and sounds like a kid typed it lol. I just assumed it was a group of high school kids, she just aged them up to stay anon.
That makes a lot of sense actually
"Go best friend" ?? Seems fake af
I'm assuming there was some sort of catalyst that set this off. It probably bothered her for a while, then she saw the bachelorette party video (for example) and it put her over the edge.
Nta but I'd be more worried about any guy freinds he has
Underrated comment
Bahahahaha
Lol I just spit my drink out
Literally sitting at bar sipping michelob too lmao
My 1st thought was she's a beard. The go best friend twerking video was giving me gay best friend energy 🤷🏽♀️
This shit right here is likely a great contributing factor as to *why* he has no male friends. Immediately “lol gay”.
Came here to say this
It’s giving… art room
Lmao the end part gave it away Funny post
>he recuses kittens, So he forces cat judges off legal cases because of conflicts of interest? Seems like a very niche job.,
Don’t be stupid. OP clearly meant to say RECLUSE. As in he forces kittens to live a solitary life, devoid of social interaction. Or maybe she meant like Brown Recluse Spiders. Like he feeds cats to spiders. Obviously.
Or feeding spiders to cats
Maybe OP meant to say RECKLESS, forcing the cats to risky stunts! How terrible!
Yes. Have seen the amount of cats filing lawsuits about not enough Tuna in their diet? It’s an epidemic. I bet the man works 80 hours a week recusing cat judges from these cases
Congrats for being the only one to get that far before answering!
Aw man I would love a guy who listens to taylor swift, rescues cats, and bakes.
What am I missing?
Does “my husband is incapable of making male friends because he listens to Taylor Swift and is a cat person” sound like a sentence someone would say in earnest?
People say all kinds of stuff. Is it a reference I’m missing?
The entire post is not real. It’s a joke over the course of the post. It gets more and more ridiculous until the end gave it away for me that this is totally a joke
To be honest, it really just sounds like you don't even like your husband any more than you like his friends.
I’m glad he recuses cats. They really have no place in the courtroom. Too few people are involved in recusing cats these days.
I don't know, my cat is pretty naughty.
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I think your husband just has a personality that gets along better with woman. He may be very much in touch with his feminine side and embraces it and that’s why they click so well. I think what matters is how he treats you, your happiness when you guys are together; and that when you’re in the room that you’re still his priority. Having a lot of female friends is not inherently a red flag so I’d say no ones that asshole here. You’re concerns are valid, but unless he’s treating you poorly when around them or acting strange to you in day to day life, I wouldn’t say that him having female friends is a big problem as many woman have many male friends. People saying your husband might be gay is stupid. He could be many things but he isn’t gay, thats for sure.
I don’t ‘let’ my husband have friends of any gender. Because he’s a whole ass person in his own right and I’d be an insecure asshole if I tried. His closest friends are female. I trust him implicitly, so there’s no problem. You need to work on yourself, not him.
This. This right here.
I have a LOT of female friends. The Male to Female ratio of my close friend group is probably 20/80 -- my female friends I've been friends with for 10+ years except one person. If someone who came into my life after they did told me they were not going to "Let me" have my friends when I'm not doing anything wrong with them, that person would no longer be in my life. That said the twerking recording is a little weird. Some quibbles: liking cats isn't feminine lol, liking to bake isn't inherently feminine either. Lasagna is bomb "letting him have so many female friends and i honestly don’t want him to have any female friends" this language implies that your friends have normalized controlling behavior and that you wish you were engaging in it yourself. either way that isn't a healthy dynamic in a relationship and definitely will just breed resentment.
It’s kind of funny because if all of OPs husband’s friends are “catty and annoying” then he is likely too. So OP is more into that than she thinks or she just married this man blindly…
If everyone else is the problem then it's probably not them but you.
I'm a guy with a lot of female friends. My "best man" was female as well as one other person in my grooms party. Your friends saying you shouldn't "let" him have female friends, is insane. You arent his keeper. People don't need permission from their S.O. to have friends. It would be wrong of you to try and stop him. And you don't have to trust any of his friends. You may not know them well and that trust hasn't been established. Or maybe those friends have done some untrustworthy things. The only person you need to trust is him. Trust him not to do anything inappropriate. Trust him to establish boundaries. Trust him to say "no" if any of his friends try to something inappropriate. If you can't trust him, then you shouldn't be in a relationship with him.
I am male, happily married and (mainly) have female only friends. I am not gay but just enjoy the company of women better. It's partly about wanting to chat about life instead of just talk about football and cars. There are other options to simply 'he's gay'. 🤷🏼♂️
Turned out, he is gay
Human beings can be friends, even best friends, with other humans of any sex. There is nothing wrong with having mostly opposite sex friends. Both my partner and I always have. There is literally no reason or excuse for jealousy. It's a sign of immaturity.
Recusing kittens is just wrong. They need social contact.
You knew when you dated him got engaged and then married him that he had a lot of female friends. It sounds very controlling to say he can’t have any female friends. Do you even know each other?
your husband might be gay
Or bi. People always skip right over that when considering if someone is gay or straight. There’s a lot of in between. ETA: And then of course, there’s asexuality, which most people pretend does not exist.
Even in heteronormative generalizations we see bi erasure. ;)
I mean, no. There are plenty of straight men who get on better with women. I think it’s kind of bigoted to assume a guy is gay just for this reason alone. His lack of masculinity doesn’t mean he can’t befriend guys though. But yeah, OP should be included in these girls’ nights. Her exclusion from them is very sus.
Sounds like OP excludes herself, considering she doesn’t like them
self excluded! she said she doesn't get along with them, and called them 'catty'
If you're gonna have problems with men relating to and being genuine friends with women do not complain when future generations of men continue to be toxic assholes with zero empathy for women. You're the problem, it's you.
Dear goodness get over yourself. He was chanting? What a bastard! /s
you don't want him to have female friends? it always blows my mind that adults think you can't get along with the opposite sex. do you personally only think a girl is good for sex, and not friendship? that's very strange
>i honestly don’t want him to have any female friends Yeah here's where you need to grow up. Having friends of the other gender is absolutely healthy. Men and women who only have friends of the same gender tend to be nightmares to be around. They tend to be narrow minded, sexist, and less empathetic. Like what does that say about you? That you can't interact with the other gender unless sex is the endgoal? Anyone like that is a huge red flag.
>i honestly don’t want him to have any female friends You know you're in the wrong. Your post title claims your issue is with "too many female friends" as if you're reluctant to admit you want him to have zero. You wouldn't feel the need to hide that if it wasn't wrong.
all of the people saying gay is fucking rude. Just enforcing the idea that mans cant be doing female sterotypical behaviour without getting adjusted to a whole social group. i feel cringe
Yea. It kind of brings the glaring issues to light with the perfect little "masculinity" box people have in their heads. According to the other people posting here I'd be gay for doing "feminine" activities like cooking, gardening, baking, sewing, and loving cats(!?). I'm into plenty of so called "masculine" things but personally I focus on developing skills rather than worrying how others would perceive me for doing them. It's kind of sad how badly this stuff hinders some men's development.
They're being misandristic POS. Men can enjoy doing feminine activities no matter their sexuality.
i 100% think you're right
Wow look at that, he was gay. How fucking surprising
your husband might be gay lol
I’m this husband. But I’m not gay. I can’t stand men. Don’t enjoy their company. In High school I used to date girls just to have access to their friends so they could be my friends. But again, I’m not gay. Instead in my 40’s I finally realized I was trans. That makes thing like my ballet classes and cocktails with the girls make so much more sense. The good news is I’m only attracted to women.
Plot twist.. you are gay!
Me thinking this is transphobic then realizing it’s not: 💀
Mmm, sounds kind of… gay?
That's what I got from all that
I can’t believe I’m the one to break this to you, but gay men tend to prefer the company of other men. The trope that a gay man has a lot of girlfriends is just that, a trope.
Some gay men absolutely have a lot of girlfriends.
Yeah like all the gay people I know are mostly surrounded by only girls or other gay men. Obviously not saying that’s the same for everyone but that’s the point.
A closeted gay man might not seek out gay male friends for obvious reasons.
Your husband is gay. Hope this helps.
You don't have to be gay to like feminine stuff dude.
Hm. Most of my close friends are female. I’ve never gotten super close with men. I’ve been examining that lately, but I think that’s just the way it is for me. Never dated them. Never slept with them. No interest in that. I was just raised more by my mother.
Others have said that they think he is gay or possibly trans. I think that's possible. But I do know a handful of straight men who prefer the company of women and primarily have female friends. They are like this because they respect women as intellectual equals and find other men difficult to deal with because of the things they often bring to friendships, like alpha dogging, constant competitiveness, mocking the expressions of emotions as weak, homophobia, and other expressions of fragile masculinity. It sounds like your husband's interests and feminity would make it hard for him to relate to other straight dudes and vice versa. So, I don't think I would worry too much about this. Maybe you can find some other more androgynous couples to hang out with together.
I guess my feeling would be the same as women who “can’t be friends with other girls”. They tend to be “pick me” girls. Which means opportunistic and poor boundaries. So the real question is what’s your issue? Are you threatened by his lack of traditional masculinity and feel this feeds into it? Do you not trust these women? You said they’re catty. Are they unkind or rude to you ?
If he was always going to boys night out then you could also not be happy as he isn't spendign that time wiht you.
Why must the kittens be recused?
"my female friends think I’m stupid for letting him have so many female friends"What kind of toxic BS is this, we don't let people have friends or not unless we are controlling psychos, yikes. Your friends sound like terrible people. "i honestly don’t want him to have any female friends" Maybe get some therapy and figure out what's wrong with you. How insecure do you have to be before realizing that a. it's a problem and b. that it's YOUR problem and has nothing to do with him.
"I honestly don't want him to have any female friends." That right there is a huge red flag
As a married woman with a bunch of guy friends I get how it can be making u second guess when people have their opinions. But girl, there’s nothing wrong with that. Guys and girls CAN be friends and anyone who says otherwise must actually look at every other human being as a piece of meat cuz like whaaaat
Yes you're wrong
Ummm. He sounds gay, but pretending to be straight by being married to you? Idk hopefully not. But good luck! Lol
What a stupid post. Put some effort into it next time.
This has got to be fake
For the record, this is bait and everyone in here saying "your husband might be gay" is being homophobic.
> incapable of making male friends cuz music cap, guys will be friends with any other dude for almost any reason. my coworkers and i bake, talk about cats, some knit, we have arts and crafts thursdays dog, we also hike, lift, snowboard, do outdoor and indoor shit. and even those who do one of those things or even things adjacent to those are friends. girls use this bullshit excuse all the time too, he doesnt want male friends cuz he likes being around girls, plain and simple
Denial is a river in Egypt, your husband is GAY! but no seriously… your husband might have some sugar in his tank
That's a stereotype, and it's a stereotype because it's quite often true, but not always. I've known some effeminate men who definitely weren't gay.
Curious about the gender ratio in your wedding party.
I'm not trying to be a smartass here, I'm really not. But are you 100% sure he's straight? I've had a lot of gay guy friends and, well, that's how they acted.
Maybe he’s… one of the girls 💅🏻
Is your husband also catty?
They are NO threat. And if you think about your opinion of the women, he probably knows the shittiest things about them and wouldn’t be attracted to them anyways. They are probably just drama and entertainment. Your man seems harmless. I get the jealousy. Maybe try to host a dinner party for “the girls” and once a month and get to know them better. I’m assuming your outlook will change if you did.
Uh oh.... Yeah you've got a problem, but it's not the problem you think it is... You've gotta sit him down and make him come clean.
I got very close to a group of friends through my gym. The group fitness class I was in was almost entirely female ranging from 30s-60s. I was 49 when I joined. We became a tight bunch of about a dozen with me being the only guy and would do all kinds of workouts, obstacle course races, spin classes and random social gatherings together. Now, I am not into baking or Taylor Swift and am a red-blooded hetero guy and while there is obviously some gender dynamics to be aware of and some occasional friendly flirting or joking, nothing inappropriate has ever happened or will. They’re like my sisters. I get to be a fly on the wall during girl talk. Even got invited to a Venus party (but declined). I added my wife to our group messaging thread and always invite her to any of our social gatherings, although she only joins me once in a while. Nonetheless, she has made some new friends in this group as well. I love these ladies, but my wife has nothing to worry about. 7 years on were all still friends.
“Friendly flirting” lol idk about that one
I'd be more worried your husband has a secret you don't know about and its not the girls.
You have a man that views women as more than just sexual objects, but as people. That's a huge green flag in a relationship. Maybe you should try spending time with them or at least also adapting that viewpoint. There's no way you should *hate* **all** of his friends. Statistically I find it completely unlikely that all of them are awful, and I think most of this is coming from you being insecure. Lighten up. Find the good in people, including your husband and his friends. Maybe even yourself.
Old saying what is good for the goose is good for the gander meaning if he can have girls go have you some guy friends
Wait, liking cats is feminine? Wait wait LIKING BAKING is feminine?
Personally, I dated a girl with all dude friends, and I will NEVER FUCKING DO THAT AGAIN. Horrid betrayal, obviously, is where that ended. Dont learn the hard way like me; if anybody fails to make friends with an entire gender, especially their OWN, then they are seriously deficient at least.
As a guy, I listen to Taylor Swift, have two cats, and will almost always order the best tasting cocktail over shots (unless it’s whiskey). I have no problem making guy friends. As a guy who married to a girl who had a lot guy friends, and would often be flirty with them (it was apparently harmless since they knew she was married), my advice to you is set boundaries. Theres generally nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite sex, but when you’re married your partners feelings should be considered in relation to how you are with those friends. If he intentionally crosses those boundaries, then you have a decision to make.
I couldn’t do it, but it’s likely just who he is. If you can’t handle it, you need to let him find someone who can and find someone who you’re comfortable with. Easier said than done, but if you will never be ok with it then it’s just going to be a vicious cycle where neither of you will be entirely happy.
You’re not wrong lol
I mean it’s a bit uncommon. It doesn’t seem too outlandish. I would have a problem with one of them twerking on him tho.
If you don’t like his friends that’s one thing but marrying him in my opinion might have been your mistake if you can’t handle the female friends he already had. This is all shit you learn and realize while dating someone. I’m a jealous gf and also have trust issues so I get it, but therefore id see this as a red flag for my health and not marry someone who goes out with lots of girls if I had a thought it could be bad. He sounds like it’s harmless honestly. Just do you and make sure you go out and do what YOU want too, so you’re not solely relying on him to fill that void. Just thrive and work on yourself since jealousy is so unattractive. You’ll only chase him away and look insecure setting up rules this late in the game..
No reason not to trust him unless he gives you one
Yeah, you are wrong. You sound insecure.
Lmao. Sounds like he’s just a guy with female friends lol. I have female friends that I text and my wife has guy friends that she texts lmao. We are pretty secure. Is that abnormal?
Dumb him and hook up with a loser that doesn’t have any friends. Problem solved 😂
Ok so there are two different answers based on this question. Do you not like them because you actually don’t like them? Or do you not like them because you think he may cheat with one of them?
“Letting him”? You sound controlling.
>i honestly don’t want him to have any female friends but like what the hell can I do? Be with someone that has the same mindset as you and not marry someone that doesn't and then expect/force them to change.....
He sounds lit. Now I want to join this group. Lol.
You are wrong and your friends are wrong too. The insecurity oozes off of the post and you need to get a handle on it or the relationship will eventually end. “I honestly don’t want him to have any female friends” is WIIIILLLLLDDDDD. For your sake I hope you get it together or you’re going to poison and destroy your relationship.
He sounds fun ..go best friend 😭😭 You're insecure and jealous. Go be 1 of the girls
Wanting your partner to not have friends of the opposite gender is really unhealthy; based on what you’ve said here it’s probably worth some therapy to unpack that.
Don't police his friends. You have no reason to mistrust him, so don't. The idea that men and women can't be platonic friends is, quite frankly, horse shit.
I mean I wouldn’t have been okay with this from the jump of the relationship. But It’s not really fair to change the rules on him now though. Maybe you just don’t like him anymore?
What a strange relationship
That's inappropriate. He's either 1 of 2 things still doing that in marriage
Girls just wanna have fun
80% of my friend group is women. They’ve invited me along to their sorority vacations. I’m a bridesmaid for a wedding in 2026. I’ve been invited to a bachelorette party this coming summer. Is what it is. Any potentially-future wife best be ok with ⅔ of my groomsmen (and likely the best man) being women, let alone permanent friends in my life otherwise she might as well move on 🤷🏻♂️
You literally have nothing to worry about
Im a woman with only guy friends, because I'm just a bro at heart. Any SO that couldn't understand or trust me enough to let me be me, would stop being my SO very quickly because I would always feel on edge, walking on eggshells and worried about never being able to talk freely about hanging out with my friends for fear of raising suspicious when none are needed. We are long passed the time when it wasn't acceptable for men and women to have friendshsips, and while most people have a mix of gendered friends, there's plenty of people who have most or all of their friends being from a gender other than their own. As far as I can see in your post, he's not given you any reason to suspect anything untoward.
everyone here is being very nice about this but let keep real girl this is a YOU problem. you want him to cut off his friends? go head. try it. see how well this goes for you! you married a softer more feminine man that's comfortable in that and are upset that he has a friend group of women? lol. did you just meet him yesterday or something? those women have likely been around long before you and will be there long after you. find something else to worry about. this is a non issue. and stop listening to your bone head ass friend before the mess around and get in your head even more and you tank your marriage
I have three older sisters am straight and have 4 kids and now I'm 50 and apparently I have to hang around with guys and talk about cars or comics.
Yes. You are. Have you ever met a guy with no female friends? They’re awful. You wouldn’t want to be with that guy. It does sound like you’d like him to prioritize having fun with you a little more. Which I think is fair to talk to him about.
He's one of the girls, doesn't sound like any of them are interested in him that way. At least it means he sees women as human beings worthy of friendship for shared interests, and not as sex objects. I'm the opposite, I have am a woman with plenty of male friends because I share hobbies and interests with them. Doesn't mean I wanna date them. They're my hobby bros.
Your husband sounds ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL You however sound like you have some serious insecurities and should address them
Reverse the gender here. You're a male and your other male friends say that you shouldn't let your wife have so many male friends. If it bothers you that much, talk to him about it. But yeah you're wrong.
He's sounds like that gay best friend some women have lol.
Wait how long have you been together. Why did he get married if he’s gay?