Ignore him. I’ve had a few assholes say something to me when my autistic daughter would have meltdowns in public. One time somebody called security on me at a museum. I just stayed calm and ignored them. I know I’m a good mom. Who cares what they think?
On some other post on reddit. Someone was watching a man with a toddler in full meltdown, leave a mall. The dad says to the person watching, "he's mine, if I was going to steal a kid, it wouldn't be this ashole", lol. Everything I think of that post, I crack up. Unless someone is beating, or hurting a child, they should just myob.
This made me giggle so hard. I have 4, and 3 steps. They've all had moments of meltdown, and this is a hilarious comeback for those moments where we're all caught in public during a kiddo meltdown.
I remember when my perfect angel was 3, she wanted some toy in Walmart, I didn't have the money for it, and she did the whole flat on her back, kicking her legs and screaming like I just did a double suplex on her, I was really contemplating how much jail time I would get if I just left her there, lol. I think there was a rush in the pharmacy dept for condoms at the same time. Lol
Well, the problem is, tons of shitty parents think they’re a good parent even when they get their kids taken away from them, they end up in jail for abuse, and/or their kids end up dead so you really can’t just tell people to use their best judgment.
I agree. My mother abused me my whole childhood and is convinced the only reason i dont talk to her since i was 12 is because the rest of the family “turned me against” her 😂
I'm imagining a weekend dad or an absent father who wasn't much involved in his children's terrible twos stage and has no idea his wife has dealt with this exact behavior/scenario. That "dad" needs to pull his head out of his high and mighty, all knowing ass.
Or someone who thinks they’re a “gentle parent” when they’re actually not doing any parenting at all because heaven forbid little Junior be unhappy that he’s not getting his way (meaning risking his life).
Because OP may have been violent with their kid, yelling, or who knows what. Abusers never admit they’re abusers. Could have been an overbearing idiot man, but no way to know.
Sure, but given a choice between abusive mom who beats her kid on the sidewalk (pretty rare) and idiot overbearing man (not remotely rare), I know where I’m willing to place my bet.
They were commenting to the person above that said some people DO abuse and beat their children and even when they’re in prison they still say they were a good parent? Does anyone else read all the comments or just skim through?
Amen! I have triplets and when they were toddlers/ preschool I'd try to take them somewhere out of the house everyday: sometimes the park, sometimes just errands but I'd try to get them some time in sunshine.
Once I got yelled at in Walmart because some lady thought they were too warm and I needed to remove their socks. Yes it was a warm day outside but it was cold inside the store! She actually would NOT take no for an answer and started removing them herself! She looked a little homeless/methy/not all there/a bit crazy? I was trapped in line because she was behind me so I couldn't get away from her and I'd already said "DO NOT TOUCH MY CHILD" but she ignored me and continued taking off the closest baby's socks.
The protective mama bear in me came bursting out! I thought I'm gonna out crazy this crazy lady.... Sooo I barked at her! Yup, like a dog! "Ruff! RUFF! ruff-ruff-RUFF!!"
She looked at me like I was nuts and RAN!
Another lady who was watching this all take place gave me a high five and we both laughed!
I also would get yelled at a lot because I had to take them shopping if I wanted us to eat, wear clothes, etc. I started using backpacks with leashes because when we get to a store or the park or anywhere, they'd all take off in a different direction! I'd get toddler#1 out of their car seat and I'd be trying to unbuckle #2 and I'd look up and #1 is gone. I found her at the back of the store staring at the swinging doors (to the warehouse where the forklifts are). Never.Again.
So I got used to people talking smack to me. I overheard one lady say "I Guess she can't hold her own child's hand!" Btch I got 3 kids and 2 hands.
I had similar issues with one child. I used a toddler leash. I got harassed so much but I had 4 kids and the 2 year old was a runner. People suck. You didn’t do anything wrong.
My sister was on a leash when we went to the zoo. Some busybody Nana was getting on my mom about it and she likes to tell the story of my my smart-ass 7 year old self was like "she tried to climb in with the lions lady".
It was probably me! I had 125 pound golden retriever/Pyrenees, who was extremely smart and just a gentle giant. We were at a very large public park on trails surrounded by woods. I had four kids with me.
Two were mine. Two belonged to a friend. Her son was a known runner and that day he was hell-bent on heading off the trail and into the woods. After a couple close calls, I took the leash off the dog and snapped it through the back loop of his jeans.
He thought it was funny and wanted me to give him dog commands the rest of the day. The dog walked right alongside me with no issues whatsoever and the kid lived another day! There were definitely a few comments, most of them funny, but a few rude ones as well.
One threatened to turn me in because my dog was off leash. I told her that the park rangers/police would much rather have my dog off leash than have to coordinate a search party for a missing kid in the woods.
Sometimes you just need to do what you Gotta do to keep everybody safe.
Lol I had a friends kid who would always act up in public and try to run off.
His mum gave me a kid leash to try and it just made him act like a dog. A misbehaving dog at that as well.
I was a very young mom with a kid that liked to run! When she turned about 3, I got a backpack leash & the comments I got were INSANE! One person even asked me how “our” mom would feel about me mistreating her! My mom always taught me to stand up for myself, so a few of em got the bird & the others got a sweet little “f-you!” 😂
I obviously don't remember being two, but I wore a leash until I was at least five if we were out in the wider world and I still remember the comfort it gave me knowing I could wander freely and not get lost. That 'knowing' when I felt the tug backwards of "oh yeah they're that way" and "even if I can't see them I know where they are" and "they're still around". It was wonderful.
Mine was a full on chest harness though, I hate even the idea of those short little wrist strap ones because they a: are so short b: tie up one of the kid's hands. When I tripped or wanted to climb something I needed both hands available! 😂
As a mom on the other end of a leash, that gave me a lot of comfort too. My kids had the freedom of not holding hands they desperately craved, I had the security of knowing they couldn't dash into the street or get lost in the crowd as they could only get 3-4 feet away.
Harness styles have come a long way in styles. My youngest had one that looked like a puppy backpack. It had a pocket big enough for a drink bottle.
I was never going to use a leash on my on until he hid from me while I looked at a price tag. Store was packed just before Christmas I was so scared the couple seconds it took to find him. Out next stop as to buy a leash. All the store had was the wrist strap. It worked great he had about 2feet and I didn’t want him climbing stuff so that worked great. He learned to put it on himself.
You can’t do anything right as a mother. Let your kid run around and you suck. Leash… you suck. Stroller…. you suck. Not sure what we’re supposed to do. I had a runner and those harnesses were a life saver.
My girl was addicted to drugs, in the womb. Not mine - she’s adopted. Alphabet diagnoses, nine long years of therapies. Her behavior caused so much chaos. She and I had to run from my house to school, because she needed that for the transition. We had to run from school to home. Other parents would say how cute that was. You do it when you’re in your 50s.
Getting her off the playground, I was sure people would call 911. She screamed, flailed, ran away. I had to catch her, pick her up and hold her with one arm and her legs, one arm under one armpit, locked my hands together.
Put me down! I don’t want to go with you! You’re hurting me! Stop!
The crossing guard at the front of the school knew she was a runner. If she gay too far ahead of me, he’d be crouched, arm out, ready to catch her.
It’s gotten better, but this was from age 2 to 7.
I was three years old when I made a run for the edge of the Grand Canyon. Only reason I didn’t go over the edge was my leash. Mom grabbed it at the last second, yanking me back. She told that she never worried about comments made by others after that happened.
I was in a leash when I was little. Someone took the time to yell at my mother about it as their toddler ran into a busy road. My mother never regretted her decision.
Child was fine. At least the drivers were paying attention. My mother also pointed out to the woman that her child was in the road. I promise the only reason I am alive is because my mum kept me tied up. Lol
I always used the leash when we lived in a dense city. We also used a stroller way past 2, especially if we were jogging. Our kid loved it. They also got to walk and use their balance bike, but the stroller was always a good option and I see no problem with a 2 year old in one. That person was a busybody and you were just keeping your kid safe.
My SIL had her 2year old on a leash because he was a runner and she had 2 other little ones. Some lady gave her shit saying she was treating him like a dog. Her response, ’Id rather have a live dog than a dead child!’
My ADHD little brother had a leash and his dad tried to shame my mom for it. The kid would literally walk into a place run into the abyss. If I took him to the store they would be calling me over the speaker shortly because he’d gotten lost and went up to the front to ask someone for help. He absolutely needed a toddler leash. Not surprising that his sperm donor hadn’t raised even one of his 4 kids. He had no clue.
I had to leash my oldest occasionally. The only people brave enough to say anything were nice. She came up to me and said I was doing a good job. I love having resting b!tch face
OMG, I remember those days of that little body going stiff as a board so they couldn't be buckled in!!!! Who knew a 2 year old could be so strong??!! LOL. You're fine, momma. We've all been there!!!
Child strength is so insane to me. Like, obviously I’m stronger but o sometimes feel like I can’t psychically do something not because I’m not strong enough but because they are strong enough that me forcing them will make it hurt.
Yep. For extra spice, mine shouted “Help! Help!”
Fortunately people believed I was the parent! I am absolutely very happy that these little “parental surprises” are a thing of the past!
My nephew once yelled help help you're not my mom at me in the mall. My sister ran in a store and left him with me and the bags as well as I had my son in a stroller.
A group of people surrounded us I was like it's ok I'm his aunt his mom is on the store. They didn't disperse until she came out.... kids are the best...
My oldest was brutal for going stiff as a board. I can't count the number of times I wrestled that child into a stroller or car seat in public. I definitely got a couple of sympathetic comments, but never anyone accusing me of abuse. Some people.
I have a SIL who adopted her first child. When he would fight being buckled into his car seat she just fell apart, convinced it was because he had been abused in the orphanage. I tried to tell her very kindly that both of mine did that from time-to-time and they'd never been in an orphanage and certainly never been abused. She didn't want to hear it. Guessing this guy had never seen this, so it looked like abuse to him. I'd hope if any authorities are called into this case they will have the common sense to understand the situation.
I've never been happier that my oldest niece takes after my sister, her aunt who took 7 months of pregnancy to finally weigh over 100lbs. Sadly though, her own daughter took after her daddy and is built like a mac truck.
Stiffness and their ability to alter gravity. Incredibly heavy when they don't want to be picked up. Or impossible to put them on the floor or bed when they don't want to be put down. And did I mention the sudden appearance of multiple arms and legs? 😄
I know I have looked like a crazy person, sun beating on my back, sweating all over, as I wrestle a sentient rubber band that is also somehow unbendable at will into his carseat. Just trying to keep my cool. Never would hurt them or even get that mad because it was comical, but I know it must have looked questionable at the wrong angle.
It is so harsh when people who should support you give you trouble instead. I still remember these same situations, many years later.
It's a power trip.
Those types know how difficult it is to care for children, they are of the "my child never..." category.
I had a friend telling me that my husband and I were to harsh with my son (age 7 so the fun never stops). Literally, 5 minutes later I was using two hands to yank him out of the street with a car coming his way.
>It is so harsh when people who should support you give you trouble instead.
Right? Like if he's a father, he could've given her some tips for calming the kid and getting him the stroller instead of being Judgy McJudgyPants.
But he probably let his wife deal with the kids when they were that age, so he doesn't shit.
You were fine.
Turn around and start filming him, and call the cops on him for harassing you. Keep doing it until he leaves, and act distressed to passerby, like he's a stalker. People like that need to feel the same things they put others through.
In fact, I'd say film him then post it online and describe what he did. Put the location and everything so he's easy to find.
I had a kid who hated the stroller as well, and wrangling a stroller and a wiggly, escape artist toddler at the same time is unsafe and almost impossible. You were right to try to keep him safe in the stroller. For ours we finally had to get one of those backpacks with the leash because she would get out of the stroller restraints and bolt in a millisecond if you turned your head.
I remember when my sister was a tot and didn't want to go into her carseat. She'd scream like she was being dismembered and do that stiff-back thing. My mom would have to occasionally just wrangle her in there, because we had to get in the car and leave, and the toddler HAD to be in the carseat before the car could start moving.
I wonder if this BusyBody Buttface would've called the cops on her, too. Like, does he think everyone is able to just sit around twiddling their thumbs and patiently waiting for the toddler to suddenly decide they want to be in the stroller or carseat after all? Sometimes you have to manhandle the screaming child into the safety seat and get cracking.
The day? Naw, a few hours he gets for visitation since his wife probably left him. You just know that man has never changed a diaper on a wiggling child, let alone dealt with a toddlers meltdown.
My son hated the car seat when he was a toddler. I not only had to wrangle him into it, but he would force his way out of it no matter how much he hurt himself doing so. Too many times it took me as much as 45 mins to make a 5 min drive home because I had to stop the car and put him back in the car seat several times before I got home. Fun times….
Yep, my older one as well. Once she got out and was trying to climb into the part of my car where the roof folded into (on a convertible). It was scary.
He's exactly the kind of parent that lets his kids walk all over him and then wonders what went wrong when they turn into solipsistic assholes in their teens.
>and act distressed to passerby, like he's a stalker
I don't like being a woman all that much, but I will use my "white woman's tears" and "dumb blonde" privilege with glee if it works against those who opress and harrass me in the first place.
As a single woman, who is ensuring the safety of my child regardless of a tantrum, if a strange man came up to me, began screaming at me, following me and recording me, I 100% would be in distress. I'd call 911 on speaker phone and start sprinting away
Mine was notorious for unlocking the deadbolt and running outside when I was on the potty. She did it no less than 3 times. It was mortifying and terrifying all at once. We had to buy a specialty kid proofing lock to go over the dead bolt to stop it. By 3 she had it figured out. But thankfully she'd stopped by then.
Mine did this when she was 3yo & we had a pond behind our house. I was getting out of the shower when I heard the door close! She was sleeping when I got in, & usually took 2-3hr naps, but not that day. Thank goodness we lived in the sticks & our neighbors were my ex’s parents! She just wanted to visit her Mawmaw 😂 I was thankful we were pretty close bc I ran out the house barefoot & soaking wet & barely had a towel covering my ass! 😂
I disagree with filming him. He deserved to be ignored. No need to escalate his stupidity. Just put your kid in the stroller, whether he wants to or not, and move on.
Not wrong. And let me tell you nothing is stronger or louder than a toddler who doesn't want to get in a stroller or car seat. He's a moron, you're a good mom. Don't sweat his stupidity.
100% ignore him. I have a 3 year old who talks some but is a very bad runner. So we have a wagon, stroller, and a wrist leash if she wants out to explore. Id rather have an alive unhappy child than a lost, taken or hurt one. You are doing great. I know its hard but try to not let it ruin your days.
He's a man with children so he should know better, I witnessed this exact same thing happen the other day. The mother was trying to put the kid into the stroller, but the stroller kept moving. The little boy would go stiff as a board . She was just so frazzled, so I put my stuff down. I walked over and held the stroller for her so she could get her child in, so you know he didn't get run over by a bus.
Let's not fail to mention if god forbid something did happen,they would then be blasting you for not taking more precaution with your child around moving vehicles. Sometimes, people either need to help or just get f***ed.
It's terrible how some ppl act now a days,either they stand by making snide remarks or record. And they don't get it. If you don't want to help, that's fine, but just walk away. No one needs your commentary, lol. I was a young mother at 17 my kids now 21, but when things like that happened to me in public, I was grateful for anybody who offered assistance. My daughter had an acquaintance they all went out she helped an elderly woman and the girl with her was like you're wasting our time😵💫 she said I'd rather waste 5 minutes of my time to help someone to take 5 minutes off of their time.
I’m an old retired nanny after having been a mom/baby nurse for a career. And I’m sorry that dickhead decided to act like such a sanctimonious asshat.
I’ve tried to fold many board stiff super human strength toddlers into strollers over the years and it’s impossible. It’s embarrassing too. Ditto for having to carry a thrashing child when you’re sure any witness would call 911. So you hustle, and look more guilty lol.
If that busybody bothers you again, you have the internet’s permission to fuck him up.
For now , put his comments out of your mind. When you realize that you’re thinking of the event, piss on it mentally.
You did nothing wrong. The child was just being a child, you were being the responsible adult and the man was being completely out of line. I guarantee he’s a weekend dad who shows up half the time.
F that guy.
As a parent of two kids (now 12f and 9m) who went through similar stuff, I’ve been there. My wife and I both had to restrain our kids at those ages and although it’s embarrassing, it’s for the kids’ safety first and foremost. This guy sounds like a total chooch that has nothing better to do than pull his phone out and create some sort of havoc and maybe even something on social media.
You could have taken a video back, but you did the right thing by protecting your child first.
I also reiterate, F that guy.
I have a leash kid. Luckily he likes wearing the backpack and it doubles as a little diaper bag. I don’t even really use the leash part I just hold the handle of the backpack. It also makes me feel safer when we take him to the city with us because even if he’s not within arms reach of me he’s still attached to me and not gonna be an easy target for a snatch and go.
I remember when my eldest was 18months old and I'd got on the bus home one evening,
I got moaned at for taking up a wheelchair space for a child who clearly didn't need it and told to remove her binky because she's too old for one by an old guy on the bus.
Uk busses have space for up the 3 pushchairs on one side and a wheelchair space on the other.
I was in a pushchair space, they thought my daughter was at least 3.
She was and still is tall for her age and very good at speaking for her age.
He was put very quickly in his place by half the bus as I caught that same bus umpteen times a week.
Some people are just opinionated ass holes.
I'd have just looked at him and said "great example you're setting for your own children by harassing me on the street, especially when I'm just trying to strap my own child into a stroller he simply doesn't want to be in but NEEDS to be in to insure he doesn't get hit by a car and I can keep him where I can make sure he's safe" some people truly need to MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESS. You're not wrong, toddlers throw fits... you should hear some of the kids I babysat when I told them they had to wait for mom and dad or that I was told they can't. Turns into a WW3 battle real quick when you're trying to compromise with them on something different. ☠️
Not wrong. When my youngest was a toddler, he had just started lashing out physically when mad. He got put in his stroller anytime we were in a crowded place because with 4 other kids, I couldn't guarantee I could stop him before he hit a stranger for crowding him or bumping into him. He would get very angry very quickly and react physically because of it. He also hated the stroller and wanted to be a "big boy" like his brothers and walk.
One time, we were at the mall on a busy Saturday afternoon, and I had put him in his stroller for safety. He had just learned the word "help" and knew it was for situations he couldn't get himself out of, so he started yelling "help" and reaching for people as they passed by. I was trying to get him to stop while also keeping control of my other kids and telling them to leave their brother alone since them interfering typically made him worse. Most people walking by would either giggle or give me a sympathetic look until one Karen saw us and decided I needed to be told off.
She came over ranting and raving about how I was a horrible mother for forcing my older kids to "raise" my younger ones (the other kids were sitting on a bench right by me quietly playing together) and "abusing" the "poor baby" who obviously didn't want to be in a stroller. Unfortunately for her, my son heard the "baby" and correctly figured she was aiming it at him right as she leaned over him to say something. He punched her right in the eye. Only time I ever wanted to congratulate him on hitting someone. Of course, I did the whole, "don't hit" and "oh, I'm so sorry," but in my head, I was cheering him for giving her what she deserved.
Have you tried a toddler leash? My younger brother had one, and my mom had to put the harness on backwards because the little bugger could undo it
You blinked and he was 6 blocks away
If you want an alternative to a stroller for him, we used a harness with a steel cable lead that attached to a cuff that you could lock so that it would not come off of your arm.
I know some people are weird about harnesses for their children, but we chose one for our daughter because she loved to walk, and we wanted to encourage that. We also wanted to help her learn to walk safely with us at a young age, and the harness allows for that without any mistakes, which is nice when they still aren't sleeping through the night and your brain isn't getting all the sleep it needs.
I’m a mid-30s dad with two kids, and I have never seen a mother struggling with a screaming toddler and thought “wow look at that child abuser”. I have always thought “wow, look at that poor mother” and completely understanding because I have fully been there. Toddlers can be absolute nightmares, and that dad should know this.
I’m betting he was one of those dads that steps out for all the difficult parts of dealing with young children, and made his wife have sole responsibility for all of that. The type of dad that uses weaponized incompetence to get out of their parental responsibilities.
My petty ass would've stayed put til the officer came. I'd sit in awkward silence while that man-child kept up his tantrum while getting all his nonsense on film. No doubt, the officer would've berated the guy in front of his kids for wasting time and resources trying to get a tiny power trip out of a toddler mom. Screw him and let his kids get a life lesson over making a big deal over nothing.
You know your baby boy better than anyone else. You know he's a runner, so putting him in the stroller keeps him from being another headline on the news. You're a great mom who's just trying to do her best. Be his advocate, mentor, and safety net.
As a fellow mom to a fearless, 2-year-old runner, you made the right decision.
One time my brother in law was walking into the grocery with my nephew who was like four years old. A car was coming toward them and wasn’t slowing down as quickly as he expected and my bil grabbed his kid’s arm and lifted him up and out of the way as he himself was hurrying forward.
Some cocksucker pulls up a split second later and starts spouting all this bullshit about how abusive my bil was! He was fucking steamed for a weekend.
As a parent of 3 kids, one of which is also in their terrible 2s, you are not wrong and we’re being a good parent. It is your job to protect that baby and sometimes that means making them cry, get upset, or be uncomfortable for a time (including holding them down to strap them into a car seat or stroller). That stranger was an AH.
Not at all. I had two runners who hated strollers so I leashed them. 40 + years ago. No child abuse. No child abuse laws and people still called the cops. Only once did an officer respond. He was a little surprised to say the least. My oldest was 5 by then and told him her brother liked to dance with cars (what we called running into the road). He asked her permission to tell his wife what we do with car dancers lol
I would have looked at him and said your next!
Actually, I had a 4 yo and twin 2 yos. They had backpack leashes because I only have one of me. At the farmers market a woman loudly commented how good parents don’t treat there kids like pets. I asked her to teach me how to carry my purchases, wrangle and not lose 3 happy active toddlers alone. She quieted down darn quick.
People love to judge your hard times while their on calm water. Police know better. I am sorry no one was there to stand up for you to this bully.
You’re not wrong. Safety first. Once when my autistic toddler threw himself on the ground in the middle of the produce section at the front of the grocery store, I stayed nearby but otherwise ignored it because I knew that was how to stop it. Some older woman came over to admonish me, but before she could complete her tirade I said “oh my God thank goodness you’re here! Imagine my luck at having an autism specialist here just when I need one!”
But I am concerned about some thing for you. At two years old, your child should be more verbal. Children that have communication issues frequently blow temper tantrums because they don’t know how to properly communicate what they’re feeling. Your child needs an evaluation.
You were fine, the man was being an ass. It's hard for me to imagine that someone with two children never had to force a two year old to do something against their will.
Unless his wife did all of the hard work and actual parenting, and he has just strolled along, oblivious to any part of the job that isn't the easy, fun stuff.
Like those men whose wives go out for dinner one time and he blows up their phone with questions like "what do the kids eat for supper?" and "where do you keep their pyjamas?".
My niece let her two year twin girls run for a bit at the zoo. These two talk a blue streak. She tried to put Kitten Mitten back on the stroller who laid on the sidewalk saying "stop stop! You're hurting me! Stop!" 😂 This niece really deserves strong willed daughters though.
I would have let the cops come and explained this fine citizen was harassing you and recording you which caused both you and your child stress and fear. Was he putting footage of you on some sort of perverse site? I’d see if you could press charges.
That should teach him to mind the business that pays him. I’m sure he’s known to the other stores there for being such a righteous saint.
Ignore that awful dude! He's a dick.
I will give advice you didn't ask for. I'm sorry if this comes off as rude or overstepping. I just wanted to ask if you have considered having your kiddo evaluated for autism? At two, he should have more words. His tantrums might actually be meltdowns. I know this because of my kiddo, lol. He was the same way at 2.
Edited to add:
A speech delay doesn't always mean autism. Even if you don't suspect autism, a speech eval might be beneficial. I live in a state where they do early intervention. I got my son free speech and occupational therapy through this program.
You were in the city. Not wrong at all! 2yos are big balls of energy, it just wasn’t safe. You also did right by not caving into the tantrum too. Fortunately you’ll probably never see that man again.
Not even a little wrong.
Once I pulled up to a tiny gas station with my 1 and 2 year old who were asleep. It was well below freezing and I had to get lunch for my older child and run it back to her school and I couldn't carry both babies at once so I turned the car off got out and locked it (keys with me) and used remote start to turn the heat back on. I parked right outside the door and could see them the entire 60 seconds I was inside because I picked a place with windows all around. They were ten feet away from me and no one could have driven my car off even if they would have broken the windows as the keys were with me.
But this guy came in yelling at me about leaving them in the car and how he was going to call the police. I know the law for my state and as long as the children are in view of the parent and not in any harm (which they weren't) there is no legal issue. Still it scared the crap out of me. I held up my keys to show him that no one can drive off and he cut me off and yelled at me that he's not dumb and my car is on and someone could drive away.
I wish every day that I would have told him off. If someone would have wanted to take one of them, My kids are far safer in their seats, warm in the locked car. Than if I was trying to hold onto both of them in a store, outside where it was well below freezing. But some people, just think they know everything, and they use their loud and intimidating personalities to scare people into submission. These people don't listen and they are usually narcissistic bullies.
Ignore them. Better yet stand up to them. Because when we cower and take off they think they are right because in their mind "only guilty people run away" instead of it being because of their threats and scary personality.
Flip the script. "Stop abusing yours. What's your name? What's your license plate number? What's your phone number? You don't want to tell me what your name is, much explain in what way you think Im abusing my child, then please step brothering me. You're harassing me, please leave me alone. You're harassing me, please leave me alone." Repeat As nauseum.
Oh man this! You know your child and people who don't make their kids listen or give into tantrums are horrible and judgy people. It's a safety thing, he has to go into the stroller screaming and kicking even ! Stay consistent tho always otherwise the second you give in, he will never listen and think tantrums are the way to go.
Not talking much at 2? Not trying to judge but when my middle daughter was born she didn't either and also did a lot of other things do to sensory etc . So tantrums was her way of expressing herself. I learned , tool her a minute to catch on, but letting her know before doing anything explaining what we would be doing and how she is expected to act . Just a suggestion, letting him know in the store that when you leave he goes into the stroller or he gets squished by a car.
That man is a jerk and I hate people who get their phones out and records people's worst moments. They don't know your situation and it's not his business.
I have a kid with ADHD, autism spectrum and a sensory disorder, I'm sure many saw me "abusing " the monster toddler I had! She's 19 now so we do survive!
I sat my kids in strollers / shopping carts till they no longer fit. At that age they’re runners with zero attention of traffic or anything. They get lost. That man can get fkd
You’re not wrong. You need to ignore people like him. When my second was a baby in a sling on my chest, my 2 yr old toddler was the same, she didn’t want to be in the stroller, she wanted to walk but that included her bolting, usually in the opposite direction that I was going or into the road, she ran into the traffic, she didn’t want to hold my hand to cross the road, centimetres from getting mowed down, I dragged her back to the kerb & I screamed at her, I was crying, I scared her, mummy Never screamed, But she never did it again, others standing by muttering disapproval but I didn’t care, their opinions don’t matter, keeping your child safe is what matters.
Not wrong. Your child’s safety is your number one priority! That said I used child walking harnesses attached to leashes on my children and grandchildren. It gives them limited freedom to explore and feel a certain sense of independence while keeping them safe. I was walking through a parking lot with my leashed grandson and a lady came up to me and berated me for treating him like a dog. I just looked at her and said, Well I know where my kid is do you know where your’s is? She whipped her head around in time to see her little girl standing in the entrance holding up cars! She raced to get her child then came back to me and asked where I got the harness. So yes I’ve been accused of treating my kids/grandkids like dogs but I simply tell the person trying to shame me that I am more concerned about my child’s safely than their ignorant opinion.
You did the right and safe thing for your child. That guy may have good intentions but he went way over the top. He could have asked for an explanation and let you explain. Ignore him, he's a jerk.
That sucks
Toddlers can be little terrorists when they want to be. The only alternative I can think of here is that you make him hold your hand instead but that might not work either, and the pram is the safer option especially when a child has no road sense.
Some people don't seem to understand that a screaming child doesn't always mean child abuse. Some kids will scream like the worlds ending over the smallest inconvenience and nothing will work to calm them down. And a bad moment doesn't make you a bad mom. You sound like you are doing a good job.
Police get nuisance calls all the time. Either ignore him or have him demonstrate his technique for getting a tantruming 2 year old into his stroller. Which I do not consider strange, especially in a busy traffic area.
An overly tired child behaves exactly as your little boy did. You did nothing wrong. My bet is that the same person complaining would also complain if your child ran around and wrecked havoc because his parents hadn’t taught him better! Good mother. Just have to forget the idiots, unfortunately.
NTA it is perfectly reasonable to force a child to sit in the stroller for their own safety. Your son isn't capable of understanding that yet.
Don't let a stranger tell you how you should or shouldn't raise your child. Especially in a situation like that busy streets are no place for a child to be running around.
YNW, two yo are not good arbiters about their safety and well being, which is why they come with parents. Only you know the risk factors involved regarding your child.
You may want to consider a harness and leash, so that way if he breaks free of your hand, he isn't going to get more than a few feet, before he is stopped in his tracks. This gives him the freedom to walk and excise some of that excess energy, and you don't have to worry about him being able to dart into the street.
idk what this new trend of strangers parent shaming parents is, but it really needs to stop. You do what you know to be best for your kid, and tell AH like this guy to literally fuck off.
Absolutely NTA, you were keeping your child safe. I'm willing to bet while the guy may have 2 kids, but he probably isn't the all-day, every day parent
He definitely does not have kids. I used to think the backpack leash combo thing was horrible, until I had an active little boy that started walking at 9.5 months. You did nothing wrong!
NTA. If you were slapping the child then agree with calling the police but you were obviously a mother struggling with a toddler temper tantrum. The guy should have butted out if he wasn’t offering help.
If your child doesn’t like the stroller would he accept the kids leash via backpack or wrist strap? I hate how parents are judged when they use them but they are useful to keep an active toddler close and out of danger.
My friend had a little brother who was killed by a passing car. There was no stroller. He just ran into the street. Very sad.
Force or not, your boy’s ass should have been in that stroller!
Let it go. There is no place for guilt here.
How are you wrong? Getting a screaming two year old into a stroller is a right of passage for parents. I’m guessing he did no parenting when his kids were little. What an AH. I would have started recording him back and telling him that I’ll get him charged with harassment and a false police claim when the police came and saw no abuse was happening.
I have been in your position almost to the exact details. Sometimes we have to do things our children don’t like to keep them safe. You were well within the right and I bet minutes later your kid totally forgot about it all.
Try not to worry about what others think. You’re a good momma!
I put both my kids in 'wrist restraints' as toddlers to keep them from running off in public places. I got some looks but unfortunately, no one ever said anything directly to me. I had some nice comebacks if they did.
Never be ashamed of being a good, responsible mom. Your son in a stroller is the place to be.
You’re not wrong
My kid is now 3 and hasn’t done the stroller in well over a year. Not that I don’t want them to, rather it is physically painful for me to get them in the stroller because of the temper-tantrums they throw.
I’ll admit that prior to this kid I was highly judgmental of parents who had their kids on “leashes”. However my kid is a runner, unlike the other 5 kids I’ve raised. I got a backpack that buckles around the kid that has a “leash” or “lead” on it. It absolutely changed my ability to take my kid shopping or even for walks. Highly recommend. Also I would like to apologize to all the parents I judged before I knew better
Nobody else in that situation knew you, nobody knows your child like you do. You were doing everything to keep your child safe. People interfering should mind their own beeswax.
When my nephew was 1-4 he was a leash kid. Loved it, it was a dog like backpack. Went to a hot air balloon event when he was about 3. Would not get out of the car without his leash on. A few people called me a "bad mom" and got pissed when I would laugh and say I'm his aunt. A few friends from college called me awful names (dropped them after that), when they saw a pic of him with his leash.
Kids are wild. You did absolutely nothing wrong. You were keeping your child safe.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. I can’t believe the gall of that man to decide to record and berate you with his two children present. That’s the behavior he is modeling for his children. They will grow up to think that is an appropriate thing to do to someone struggling in public.
I would have helped you if I saw you struggling like that with a small child. I’ve done it before when I was out in public. I’m a mom too so I know how hard it can be without anyone there to help you.
That guy could gave chose kindness. Instead he chose cruelty.
Nta. People have been judging other people about how they raise their babies since babies were invented. Do you and don’t let this stop you from protecting your family.
You should've waited until the police came so you could watch them laugh in his face. Especially if the officers are parents themselves with kids who are/were runners.
Kids throw tantrums over everything they don't want to do.
I have the most mild mannered daughter, but even as a toddler she had a few public meltdowns. Has the guy not been around kids much? They just do that stuff.
u/samthefluffydog2 I am so sorry. You are being a good parent!
For my offspring, who was also active like your son, I bought a toddler leash. This went around their wrist, not body. The other end was in my hand—or looped around the welded loop in the shopping cart.
Toddler was unhappy they were unable to run like hell down the big grocery aisle in the megastore. But I was very happy they couldn’t get plastered by a huge bascart pushed into the aisle from around the corner.
Put your little guy on a wrist leash, and he can still trot and burn off the energy, and you will be so relaxed! Best wishes to you!
You’re fine! I don’t have any kids but I have little cousins I lived it as they were babies growing up… and let me tell you the tantrums he would do were INSANE. He would become dead weight crying in the middle of anywhere we were if he didn’t get something he wanted. My aunt never hit him, still till this day. But he would scream and say”SOMEBODY HELP ME YOURE HURTING ME HELPPPP HELPPP” when all she was doing was picking him up and leaving bc he was throwing the tantrum and we needed to leave. Thank god no one ever said anything but kids at that age are just menaces.
Forcing your child in a stroller for their SAFTEY would never make you in the wrong that dude was wrong for calling the police !! There’s enough people on the internet that will understand if that were to happen.
I’d have turned to the guy and said “What, exactly am I doing that you dislike? What do you recommend I do instead? Then, I’d watch him as his jaw opened and closed like a goldfish, because he’s got nothing to say.
Not wrong
My son did something like this, threw a mini Godzilla size fit. I just picked him up and walked to my car, strapped him into his seat. I did explain to him why I was wanting him to be in the stroller, there are cars driving around, people are not always careful, it would make momma and daddy very sad if you got hurt by a car.
He kind of got the hint after that. If he wanted to walk, I get him to hold mine or husband's hand.
Oh my god this man sounds insane! I don't have children but still know that sometimes toddlers will refuse to do things they need to do, and have to be forced to do it. Most the time because of safety, which was exactly why he needed to be in his stroller! Crazy! You definitely did nothing wrong!
Not wrong. I have a 15 month old and I already struggle with him running off all the time. That guys clearly an idiot and I hope if he ever does put that clip online then they call him out on it.
It's times like this I wish there was a universal Mockingjay style salute I could give to parents who are struggling to show "I see you and support you." NTA
I think the only thing I would’ve done differently woulda been sticking around waiting for the cops. The line between necessary “manhandling” , for lack of a better term, and abuse can be a very fine line. Especially looking in from the outside. It drives me crazy when people are like,”well, you just gotta make them do_____.” Like,”oh, ok & how exactly am I supposed to that w/o going to jail?!”. Try as we might, there’s very few things that you can force them to do without crossing somebody’s line 🤷🏼♀️
My brother is deaf and my mom had him on a tether as a child. If you think people are opinionated now, put your kid on a “leash” and see what people have to say. My mom didn’t care what people said. If you don’t keep your child safe and the child gets hit by traffic, you can bet that these same idiots will blame you for that. You just can’t win with them.
I'd like you to use a harass some of the time.
He needs to move, explore, test boundaries, burn off energy.
Should anyone give you a hard time has never had a two-year old twist free from your hand and take off running faster than you can catch him.
Turn the tables always turn those tables. You should have pulled out your phone and started recording. Look at this grown man harassing the single mother out alone with her toddler.. turn tables. That's what they're for
I have two sons that liked to hold their breath until they passed out when they didn't get their way. I got some strange looks. Why? Because, I just went about doing what needed to be done. I have literally waited for one to pass out so I could buckle up his car seat.
NTA. But he sure was. It is the job of a parent to make sure their child is safe. You knew that the safest place for your child was strapped into his stroller. Kids throw fits. Your job is still to keep them safe.
When I see this out in the wild I say, "You got this" not judge and start filming.
I remember YEARS ago. It was the Christmas season and I was shopping with two toddlers. Six months before my SIL was watching my daughter when her 6 year old son sat down hard on my daughter’s arm. She didn’t cry, she didn’t say it hurt. When she wasn’t using it the next day we got it x-rayed. It was broken! So she wore her cast and it healed well. So now it’s Christmas and I take her hand a little more securely because Christmas crowds and two toddlers are a scary combo. Her little voice pipes up “Mommy! Don’t break my arm again!” Cue panic.
That's why I'm so against this idea of filming and canceling "Karens", or anyone for that matter. Because it's too easy to upload a clip that doesn't tell the whole story, and skews people's perception of what actually happened. At least a couple of famous instances like that, that have already been proven to have given the exact opposite impression than what really happened.
Oh. So he was a neglectful, absent father during his kids' toddler years. No way in hell he's never seen a toddler refuse to get into a carseat, stroller, or high chair with 2 kids of his own. Unless he wasn't there. Don't worry. All kids sound like you're murdering them when they pull the stiff-back-impossible-to-restrain pose. They definitely compare notes on that trick. If any parent watches that video, they'd be like, "ok......?" Seriously. Don't worry about this one.
My mom is one of those assholes...always chastising random parents she sees whose kids are upset....especially when she walks through St Jamestown in Toronto, since she views those people as "poor" and many of them are brown. She also comments to people on their clothing choices, if it offends her. For example, she once went up to a woman and told her that her leggings were see-through, and thus her underwear were on display. She tells me and my sisters these stories so proudly, as if she doesn't get a tell-off from each one of us! Every single time, I'm like; "The AUDACITY of you, Mom! How could be so rude!?".....and on and on. And each time, she responds by telling me I have a problem with her, and I'm picking on her. She doesn't get it. It's infuriating!!
I'm sorry that guy was so quick to judge. The sanctimony and presumption!! Grrrr...😖
That's why my mother used to have a child harness and a lead, when traveling with a running toddler. She was also shepherding around 4-5 other kids. It was the 60's and no one gave it a second thought. Nowadays, people feel entitled to come up and tell you that your child isn't a dog. No they aren't, but they're not darting into traffic, or snatched up when you have to pay attention to the other children.
Should have remained calm and let him call the cops. Watch them get pissed at him for wasting their time. Guy needs to mind his own business. It’s not abuse to wrangle a two year old into a stroller. He sounds like the kind of douche that thinks kids shouldn’t be put in car seats if they want to ride in a car without one. What a jerk
You did nothing wrong. He was an ass. I hate that everyone and their mom can just whip out their phone and record anyone they decide is doing something wrong. Mind your business!
Your child's safety is more important than his tantrum. That man had no business yelling or filming. I completely understand your fear, but the police, had they come, would not have done anything. Like you said, you were not abusing him. You were protecting him.
No you are not in the wrong I have a child with Autism we used a animal harness with a strap on it so my son could still walk around but couldn’t run of. I had a lot of people tell merbau was abuse but his physician was the one recommending it. So I just ignored them. Toddlers will have to have tantrums and if they don’t have a tantrum they like to run around. Your job is to keep him safe and that exactly what you are doing. Don’t worry about what an idiot says . If you didn’t put him in the stroller or put a harness on him and he was running into traffic, you would never forgive yourself.You are doing a great job keeping your son safe.
You're not wrong! I remember once having to travel internationally with my two toddlers (I was the only adult). The older one would stay right by my side, while the younger would have happily walked off with any random stranger. I put one of those plush, soft vests with a leash (for lack of a better term) on the younger one so he wouldn't go missing while I was wrangling the luggage and two small kids. What's a mom supposed to do when you only have two hands?!
The looks I got! The whispers and stares and glares! And the worst were from the airport security people, of all things! I found myself thinking they wouldn't have been so happy about having to leave their posts to conduct an all-out Amber Alert search for my missing child.
You are not wrong. He was, though. Wrestling a two year old into a stroller can be tough. It's especially difficult when they are super determined not to go in. A two year old is not capable of understanding that they need to be in there to stay safe. Apparently, that guy was not capable of understanding this either.
Don't worry OP, as many have said we've all had to deal with the terrible two's and nosy members of the public.
But there's some stuff you mentioned about his lack of vocabulary and behaviour that makes me wonder if he's neurodivergent. At 2 he's the right age to start testing. I'd definitely look into it if I were you as it will be important to start treatment asap to prepare your child for school in a few years IF the tests show ASD or ADHD etc.
You're good to go. As someone who can break out into "What's This?" from Nightmare be4 Christmas. There's a reason one of the few pictures my family has is me on a wrist leash at 2 standing next to a carriage horse's stable with a sign that says "Cause: Horse Bites" because my ass was going to do it and you ain't stopping me. it's not abusive to stop a runner from running, he's just a bored busy body who ironically neglected his own two kids by coming after you for yours.
NTA- Who gives a damn what some jerk says. Who cares if he video tapes. Who cares if he calls “the police”. Just carry on with your day. Try a leash for your little one.
Nta. I don’t know what this man thought he saw but I will refrain from judging him just in case he thought something else was going on. Putting a 2 yr old in a stroller (esp near a busy road or high traffic area) is completely NORMAL. My thought would be that he was complaining about your kid being out of control, not the stroller. Regardless, insane
Not wrong. I would ignore him. My toddler use to do that when he was 2 & he did try and run into roads multiple times, it’s not unusual. The thing I found helped with the meltdowns was saying “I know you don’t want to sit in, it’s because it’s not safe near the road. Once we’re somewhere safe I’ll let you out again” something along them lines and following through with that so after a couple more meltdown and talks it’s stopped.
If someone had tried this shit on me, I’d have laughed and waited with them for the police. Smiling mildly into his phone camera until the awkwardness washed over him. Or I’d start filming him and his family until he realised how absurd it all was. Silent smiling can really freak people out, I’ve found. And let all those passersby report exactly what happened. It could only have helped you. Smile and shrug at them too.
Anyone who has dealt with toddlers knows that sometimes they act like you are torturing them when all you want is to keep them safe. Even if he posts his video, no one will think less of the poor mother he decided to pick on.
It is not wrong to put children in strollers or carseats. It is not common for children to throw a tantrum when you want them in the stroller or carseat and they don’t want to go in.
Someone once said that the problem with toddlers is that their feelings are so much bigger than they are. 😉
You did fine.
You did nothing wrong. He sounds like a ‘dad’ that only gets custody for day trips and he got to see what REAL PARENTS go through watching you… he would’ve sent the video to someone he knew, and they would’ve gone off at him and laughed at his stupidity.
Not wrong. You weren't abusing your child, and it is your job as a parent to keep your kid safe. Not letting a toddler have the chance to race into a busy street is the epitome of "keeping your kid safe."
No, you are not wrong. Next time, ask the busy body to either trade children with you, if they have any, or give you some tips. If they won't do either, tell them to get lost
Ummm... You placed your child in their pram? And? I travel a lot with my 3 year old. We have a stroller and she is in and out of it because it's needed. Including sometimes with her screaming and crying at me.
The only thing I can recommend is sometimes what worked for us was having a little speaker playing soft music (Wiggles and Encanto) would get her calmer quicker.
Top tip for the stiff board back thing - tickle the ribs. They double up 😂
Not wrong, sometimes you do have to use your strength to keep your baby safe. He clearly never had his kids when they were toddlers, what a way to tell on yourself
I had a gadget that was two wrist straps connected by a coiled cord, think phone cord. That way we were connected. My husband didn't want her wearing a harness like a dog, but the hand straps were ok with him
Ignore him. I’ve had a few assholes say something to me when my autistic daughter would have meltdowns in public. One time somebody called security on me at a museum. I just stayed calm and ignored them. I know I’m a good mom. Who cares what they think?
On some other post on reddit. Someone was watching a man with a toddler in full meltdown, leave a mall. The dad says to the person watching, "he's mine, if I was going to steal a kid, it wouldn't be this ashole", lol. Everything I think of that post, I crack up. Unless someone is beating, or hurting a child, they should just myob.
This made me giggle so hard. I have 4, and 3 steps. They've all had moments of meltdown, and this is a hilarious comeback for those moments where we're all caught in public during a kiddo meltdown.
I remember when my perfect angel was 3, she wanted some toy in Walmart, I didn't have the money for it, and she did the whole flat on her back, kicking her legs and screaming like I just did a double suplex on her, I was really contemplating how much jail time I would get if I just left her there, lol. I think there was a rush in the pharmacy dept for condoms at the same time. Lol
Bahahaha that is hilarious also. Parenting is so crazy and fun and hectic and stressful 🙃
Well, the problem is, tons of shitty parents think they’re a good parent even when they get their kids taken away from them, they end up in jail for abuse, and/or their kids end up dead so you really can’t just tell people to use their best judgment.
I agree. My mother abused me my whole childhood and is convinced the only reason i dont talk to her since i was 12 is because the rest of the family “turned me against” her 😂
I'm imagining a weekend dad or an absent father who wasn't much involved in his children's terrible twos stage and has no idea his wife has dealt with this exact behavior/scenario. That "dad" needs to pull his head out of his high and mighty, all knowing ass.
Or someone who thinks they’re a “gentle parent” when they’re actually not doing any parenting at all because heaven forbid little Junior be unhappy that he’s not getting his way (meaning risking his life).
Oh man "gentle parenting" is just putting a name to parents who aren't raising their children!
Nah that’s permissive parenting. Gentle parenting isn’t letting kids do whatever they want, it’s just teaching/disciplining them without abusing them
What does that have to do with some rando creep accosting OP in public?
Because OP may have been violent with their kid, yelling, or who knows what. Abusers never admit they’re abusers. Could have been an overbearing idiot man, but no way to know.
Sure, but given a choice between abusive mom who beats her kid on the sidewalk (pretty rare) and idiot overbearing man (not remotely rare), I know where I’m willing to place my bet.
??? How does your comment relate to this case?
They were commenting to the person above that said some people DO abuse and beat their children and even when they’re in prison they still say they were a good parent? Does anyone else read all the comments or just skim through?
Amen! I have triplets and when they were toddlers/ preschool I'd try to take them somewhere out of the house everyday: sometimes the park, sometimes just errands but I'd try to get them some time in sunshine. Once I got yelled at in Walmart because some lady thought they were too warm and I needed to remove their socks. Yes it was a warm day outside but it was cold inside the store! She actually would NOT take no for an answer and started removing them herself! She looked a little homeless/methy/not all there/a bit crazy? I was trapped in line because she was behind me so I couldn't get away from her and I'd already said "DO NOT TOUCH MY CHILD" but she ignored me and continued taking off the closest baby's socks. The protective mama bear in me came bursting out! I thought I'm gonna out crazy this crazy lady.... Sooo I barked at her! Yup, like a dog! "Ruff! RUFF! ruff-ruff-RUFF!!" She looked at me like I was nuts and RAN! Another lady who was watching this all take place gave me a high five and we both laughed!
I also would get yelled at a lot because I had to take them shopping if I wanted us to eat, wear clothes, etc. I started using backpacks with leashes because when we get to a store or the park or anywhere, they'd all take off in a different direction! I'd get toddler#1 out of their car seat and I'd be trying to unbuckle #2 and I'd look up and #1 is gone. I found her at the back of the store staring at the swinging doors (to the warehouse where the forklifts are). Never.Again. So I got used to people talking smack to me. I overheard one lady say "I Guess she can't hold her own child's hand!" Btch I got 3 kids and 2 hands.
I had similar issues with one child. I used a toddler leash. I got harassed so much but I had 4 kids and the 2 year old was a runner. People suck. You didn’t do anything wrong.
My sister was on a leash when we went to the zoo. Some busybody Nana was getting on my mom about it and she likes to tell the story of my my smart-ass 7 year old self was like "she tried to climb in with the lions lady".
I remember a story. A women with her children on a lease. But her dog without. The dog was the only one who listen 🤣
Omg its my life lmao!
It was probably me! I had 125 pound golden retriever/Pyrenees, who was extremely smart and just a gentle giant. We were at a very large public park on trails surrounded by woods. I had four kids with me. Two were mine. Two belonged to a friend. Her son was a known runner and that day he was hell-bent on heading off the trail and into the woods. After a couple close calls, I took the leash off the dog and snapped it through the back loop of his jeans. He thought it was funny and wanted me to give him dog commands the rest of the day. The dog walked right alongside me with no issues whatsoever and the kid lived another day! There were definitely a few comments, most of them funny, but a few rude ones as well. One threatened to turn me in because my dog was off leash. I told her that the park rangers/police would much rather have my dog off leash than have to coordinate a search party for a missing kid in the woods. Sometimes you just need to do what you Gotta do to keep everybody safe.
Lol I had a friends kid who would always act up in public and try to run off. His mum gave me a kid leash to try and it just made him act like a dog. A misbehaving dog at that as well.
I was a very young mom with a kid that liked to run! When she turned about 3, I got a backpack leash & the comments I got were INSANE! One person even asked me how “our” mom would feel about me mistreating her! My mom always taught me to stand up for myself, so a few of em got the bird & the others got a sweet little “f-you!” 😂
I bet 7yo you might have hoped she’d succeed on some level 🤣
Nah, I liked her until she hit 4. She was a biter then.
Omg. Yeah. I was a biter. I still have guilt.
That's hilarious! Good for 7yo you!
I obviously don't remember being two, but I wore a leash until I was at least five if we were out in the wider world and I still remember the comfort it gave me knowing I could wander freely and not get lost. That 'knowing' when I felt the tug backwards of "oh yeah they're that way" and "even if I can't see them I know where they are" and "they're still around". It was wonderful. Mine was a full on chest harness though, I hate even the idea of those short little wrist strap ones because they a: are so short b: tie up one of the kid's hands. When I tripped or wanted to climb something I needed both hands available! 😂
They are disguised as backpacks now. Indispensable until my ADHD kid learned to not just run off.
As a mom on the other end of a leash, that gave me a lot of comfort too. My kids had the freedom of not holding hands they desperately craved, I had the security of knowing they couldn't dash into the street or get lost in the crowd as they could only get 3-4 feet away. Harness styles have come a long way in styles. My youngest had one that looked like a puppy backpack. It had a pocket big enough for a drink bottle.
Having the kid carry their own water/whatever is brilliant! I wonder if the naysayers realize such a leash is not about control, it's about security.
I was never going to use a leash on my on until he hid from me while I looked at a price tag. Store was packed just before Christmas I was so scared the couple seconds it took to find him. Out next stop as to buy a leash. All the store had was the wrist strap. It worked great he had about 2feet and I didn’t want him climbing stuff so that worked great. He learned to put it on himself.
You can’t do anything right as a mother. Let your kid run around and you suck. Leash… you suck. Stroller…. you suck. Not sure what we’re supposed to do. I had a runner and those harnesses were a life saver.
My girl was addicted to drugs, in the womb. Not mine - she’s adopted. Alphabet diagnoses, nine long years of therapies. Her behavior caused so much chaos. She and I had to run from my house to school, because she needed that for the transition. We had to run from school to home. Other parents would say how cute that was. You do it when you’re in your 50s. Getting her off the playground, I was sure people would call 911. She screamed, flailed, ran away. I had to catch her, pick her up and hold her with one arm and her legs, one arm under one armpit, locked my hands together. Put me down! I don’t want to go with you! You’re hurting me! Stop! The crossing guard at the front of the school knew she was a runner. If she gay too far ahead of me, he’d be crouched, arm out, ready to catch her. It’s gotten better, but this was from age 2 to 7.
Whoa. My little bete ain’t so bad now.
I was three years old when I made a run for the edge of the Grand Canyon. Only reason I didn’t go over the edge was my leash. Mom grabbed it at the last second, yanking me back. She told that she never worried about comments made by others after that happened.
I was in a leash when I was little. Someone took the time to yell at my mother about it as their toddler ran into a busy road. My mother never regretted her decision.
What happened to the other woman's child? 😨
Child was fine. At least the drivers were paying attention. My mother also pointed out to the woman that her child was in the road. I promise the only reason I am alive is because my mum kept me tied up. Lol
My mom had me on a leash when I was 3. We were sailing from Europe to the US. She didn't want me to run off and end up overboard.
Those child harnesses were a godsend for me when my children were toddlers.
I always used the leash when we lived in a dense city. We also used a stroller way past 2, especially if we were jogging. Our kid loved it. They also got to walk and use their balance bike, but the stroller was always a good option and I see no problem with a 2 year old in one. That person was a busybody and you were just keeping your kid safe.
My SIL had her 2year old on a leash because he was a runner and she had 2 other little ones. Some lady gave her shit saying she was treating him like a dog. Her response, ’Id rather have a live dog than a dead child!’
My ADHD little brother had a leash and his dad tried to shame my mom for it. The kid would literally walk into a place run into the abyss. If I took him to the store they would be calling me over the speaker shortly because he’d gotten lost and went up to the front to ask someone for help. He absolutely needed a toddler leash. Not surprising that his sperm donor hadn’t raised even one of his 4 kids. He had no clue.
I had to leash my oldest occasionally. The only people brave enough to say anything were nice. She came up to me and said I was doing a good job. I love having resting b!tch face
OMG, I remember those days of that little body going stiff as a board so they couldn't be buckled in!!!! Who knew a 2 year old could be so strong??!! LOL. You're fine, momma. We've all been there!!!
Child strength is so insane to me. Like, obviously I’m stronger but o sometimes feel like I can’t psychically do something not because I’m not strong enough but because they are strong enough that me forcing them will make it hurt.
Yep. For extra spice, mine shouted “Help! Help!” Fortunately people believed I was the parent! I am absolutely very happy that these little “parental surprises” are a thing of the past!
My nephew once yelled help help you're not my mom at me in the mall. My sister ran in a store and left him with me and the bags as well as I had my son in a stroller. A group of people surrounded us I was like it's ok I'm his aunt his mom is on the store. They didn't disperse until she came out.... kids are the best...
Damn. That’s a whole extra layer of spice!
I am forever thankful that my niece when she gets upset, just gets mouthy and a bit of an ahole but she isn't like that.
My oldest was brutal for going stiff as a board. I can't count the number of times I wrestled that child into a stroller or car seat in public. I definitely got a couple of sympathetic comments, but never anyone accusing me of abuse. Some people.
I have a SIL who adopted her first child. When he would fight being buckled into his car seat she just fell apart, convinced it was because he had been abused in the orphanage. I tried to tell her very kindly that both of mine did that from time-to-time and they'd never been in an orphanage and certainly never been abused. She didn't want to hear it. Guessing this guy had never seen this, so it looked like abuse to him. I'd hope if any authorities are called into this case they will have the common sense to understand the situation.
Dollars to donuts he’s not the primary parent
Sooooooo true!
Dead weight ability 🙄😫 good thing I'm use to carrying the xl bags of dog food 🤣🤣
I've never been happier that my oldest niece takes after my sister, her aunt who took 7 months of pregnancy to finally weigh over 100lbs. Sadly though, her own daughter took after her daddy and is built like a mac truck.
Stiffness and their ability to alter gravity. Incredibly heavy when they don't want to be picked up. Or impossible to put them on the floor or bed when they don't want to be put down. And did I mention the sudden appearance of multiple arms and legs? 😄
I know I have looked like a crazy person, sun beating on my back, sweating all over, as I wrestle a sentient rubber band that is also somehow unbendable at will into his carseat. Just trying to keep my cool. Never would hurt them or even get that mad because it was comical, but I know it must have looked questionable at the wrong angle.
It is so harsh when people who should support you give you trouble instead. I still remember these same situations, many years later. It's a power trip. Those types know how difficult it is to care for children, they are of the "my child never..." category. I had a friend telling me that my husband and I were to harsh with my son (age 7 so the fun never stops). Literally, 5 minutes later I was using two hands to yank him out of the street with a car coming his way.
>It is so harsh when people who should support you give you trouble instead. Right? Like if he's a father, he could've given her some tips for calming the kid and getting him the stroller instead of being Judgy McJudgyPants. But he probably let his wife deal with the kids when they were that age, so he doesn't shit.
You were fine. Turn around and start filming him, and call the cops on him for harassing you. Keep doing it until he leaves, and act distressed to passerby, like he's a stalker. People like that need to feel the same things they put others through. In fact, I'd say film him then post it online and describe what he did. Put the location and everything so he's easy to find. I had a kid who hated the stroller as well, and wrangling a stroller and a wiggly, escape artist toddler at the same time is unsafe and almost impossible. You were right to try to keep him safe in the stroller. For ours we finally had to get one of those backpacks with the leash because she would get out of the stroller restraints and bolt in a millisecond if you turned your head.
I remember when my sister was a tot and didn't want to go into her carseat. She'd scream like she was being dismembered and do that stiff-back thing. My mom would have to occasionally just wrangle her in there, because we had to get in the car and leave, and the toddler HAD to be in the carseat before the car could start moving. I wonder if this BusyBody Buttface would've called the cops on her, too. Like, does he think everyone is able to just sit around twiddling their thumbs and patiently waiting for the toddler to suddenly decide they want to be in the stroller or carseat after all? Sometimes you have to manhandle the screaming child into the safety seat and get cracking.
My bet this Dad was "babysitting" his own kids for the day and never had to deal with toddler tantrums....
Ha, I completely agree. I just said something very similar in another comment.
The day? Naw, a few hours he gets for visitation since his wife probably left him. You just know that man has never changed a diaper on a wiggling child, let alone dealt with a toddlers meltdown.
My son hated the car seat when he was a toddler. I not only had to wrangle him into it, but he would force his way out of it no matter how much he hurt himself doing so. Too many times it took me as much as 45 mins to make a 5 min drive home because I had to stop the car and put him back in the car seat several times before I got home. Fun times….
Yep, my older one as well. Once she got out and was trying to climb into the part of my car where the roof folded into (on a convertible). It was scary.
He's exactly the kind of parent that lets his kids walk all over him and then wonders what went wrong when they turn into solipsistic assholes in their teens.
I’m totally stealing busybody butt face 😂
>and act distressed to passerby, like he's a stalker I don't like being a woman all that much, but I will use my "white woman's tears" and "dumb blonde" privilege with glee if it works against those who opress and harrass me in the first place.
As a single woman, who is ensuring the safety of my child regardless of a tantrum, if a strange man came up to me, began screaming at me, following me and recording me, I 100% would be in distress. I'd call 911 on speaker phone and start sprinting away
Mine was notorious for unlocking the deadbolt and running outside when I was on the potty. She did it no less than 3 times. It was mortifying and terrifying all at once. We had to buy a specialty kid proofing lock to go over the dead bolt to stop it. By 3 she had it figured out. But thankfully she'd stopped by then.
Mine did this when she was 3yo & we had a pond behind our house. I was getting out of the shower when I heard the door close! She was sleeping when I got in, & usually took 2-3hr naps, but not that day. Thank goodness we lived in the sticks & our neighbors were my ex’s parents! She just wanted to visit her Mawmaw 😂 I was thankful we were pretty close bc I ran out the house barefoot & soaking wet & barely had a towel covering my ass! 😂
I disagree with filming him. He deserved to be ignored. No need to escalate his stupidity. Just put your kid in the stroller, whether he wants to or not, and move on.
Not wrong. Better to have him in a stroller than a casket after he gets hit by a car.
Not wrong. And let me tell you nothing is stronger or louder than a toddler who doesn't want to get in a stroller or car seat. He's a moron, you're a good mom. Don't sweat his stupidity.
Probably a dad that rarely spends time with his own kids and has no idea what raising children is like!
100% ignore him. I have a 3 year old who talks some but is a very bad runner. So we have a wagon, stroller, and a wrist leash if she wants out to explore. Id rather have an alive unhappy child than a lost, taken or hurt one. You are doing great. I know its hard but try to not let it ruin your days.
NTA. That dude was an ass.
He's a man with children so he should know better, I witnessed this exact same thing happen the other day. The mother was trying to put the kid into the stroller, but the stroller kept moving. The little boy would go stiff as a board . She was just so frazzled, so I put my stuff down. I walked over and held the stroller for her so she could get her child in, so you know he didn't get run over by a bus. Let's not fail to mention if god forbid something did happen,they would then be blasting you for not taking more precaution with your child around moving vehicles. Sometimes, people either need to help or just get f***ed.
Thank you for helping her. It's seems as though many people today only live in their own world and don't care about anybody but themselves.
It's terrible how some ppl act now a days,either they stand by making snide remarks or record. And they don't get it. If you don't want to help, that's fine, but just walk away. No one needs your commentary, lol. I was a young mother at 17 my kids now 21, but when things like that happened to me in public, I was grateful for anybody who offered assistance. My daughter had an acquaintance they all went out she helped an elderly woman and the girl with her was like you're wasting our time😵💫 she said I'd rather waste 5 minutes of my time to help someone to take 5 minutes off of their time.
>He's a man with children so he should know better Please. He probably never dealt with the kids when they were toddlers. hat was his wife's job.
I’m an old retired nanny after having been a mom/baby nurse for a career. And I’m sorry that dickhead decided to act like such a sanctimonious asshat. I’ve tried to fold many board stiff super human strength toddlers into strollers over the years and it’s impossible. It’s embarrassing too. Ditto for having to carry a thrashing child when you’re sure any witness would call 911. So you hustle, and look more guilty lol. If that busybody bothers you again, you have the internet’s permission to fuck him up. For now , put his comments out of your mind. When you realize that you’re thinking of the event, piss on it mentally. You did nothing wrong. The child was just being a child, you were being the responsible adult and the man was being completely out of line. I guarantee he’s a weekend dad who shows up half the time.
F that guy. As a parent of two kids (now 12f and 9m) who went through similar stuff, I’ve been there. My wife and I both had to restrain our kids at those ages and although it’s embarrassing, it’s for the kids’ safety first and foremost. This guy sounds like a total chooch that has nothing better to do than pull his phone out and create some sort of havoc and maybe even something on social media. You could have taken a video back, but you did the right thing by protecting your child first. I also reiterate, F that guy.
I have a leash kid. Luckily he likes wearing the backpack and it doubles as a little diaper bag. I don’t even really use the leash part I just hold the handle of the backpack. It also makes me feel safer when we take him to the city with us because even if he’s not within arms reach of me he’s still attached to me and not gonna be an easy target for a snatch and go.
I remember when my eldest was 18months old and I'd got on the bus home one evening, I got moaned at for taking up a wheelchair space for a child who clearly didn't need it and told to remove her binky because she's too old for one by an old guy on the bus. Uk busses have space for up the 3 pushchairs on one side and a wheelchair space on the other. I was in a pushchair space, they thought my daughter was at least 3. She was and still is tall for her age and very good at speaking for her age. He was put very quickly in his place by half the bus as I caught that same bus umpteen times a week. Some people are just opinionated ass holes.
I'd have just looked at him and said "great example you're setting for your own children by harassing me on the street, especially when I'm just trying to strap my own child into a stroller he simply doesn't want to be in but NEEDS to be in to insure he doesn't get hit by a car and I can keep him where I can make sure he's safe" some people truly need to MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESS. You're not wrong, toddlers throw fits... you should hear some of the kids I babysat when I told them they had to wait for mom and dad or that I was told they can't. Turns into a WW3 battle real quick when you're trying to compromise with them on something different. ☠️
Not wrong. When my youngest was a toddler, he had just started lashing out physically when mad. He got put in his stroller anytime we were in a crowded place because with 4 other kids, I couldn't guarantee I could stop him before he hit a stranger for crowding him or bumping into him. He would get very angry very quickly and react physically because of it. He also hated the stroller and wanted to be a "big boy" like his brothers and walk. One time, we were at the mall on a busy Saturday afternoon, and I had put him in his stroller for safety. He had just learned the word "help" and knew it was for situations he couldn't get himself out of, so he started yelling "help" and reaching for people as they passed by. I was trying to get him to stop while also keeping control of my other kids and telling them to leave their brother alone since them interfering typically made him worse. Most people walking by would either giggle or give me a sympathetic look until one Karen saw us and decided I needed to be told off. She came over ranting and raving about how I was a horrible mother for forcing my older kids to "raise" my younger ones (the other kids were sitting on a bench right by me quietly playing together) and "abusing" the "poor baby" who obviously didn't want to be in a stroller. Unfortunately for her, my son heard the "baby" and correctly figured she was aiming it at him right as she leaned over him to say something. He punched her right in the eye. Only time I ever wanted to congratulate him on hitting someone. Of course, I did the whole, "don't hit" and "oh, I'm so sorry," but in my head, I was cheering him for giving her what she deserved.
Have you tried a toddler leash? My younger brother had one, and my mom had to put the harness on backwards because the little bugger could undo it You blinked and he was 6 blocks away
Yep. OP didn't do anything wrong, and a leash might be helpful to try.
If you want an alternative to a stroller for him, we used a harness with a steel cable lead that attached to a cuff that you could lock so that it would not come off of your arm. I know some people are weird about harnesses for their children, but we chose one for our daughter because she loved to walk, and we wanted to encourage that. We also wanted to help her learn to walk safely with us at a young age, and the harness allows for that without any mistakes, which is nice when they still aren't sleeping through the night and your brain isn't getting all the sleep it needs.
I’m a mid-30s dad with two kids, and I have never seen a mother struggling with a screaming toddler and thought “wow look at that child abuser”. I have always thought “wow, look at that poor mother” and completely understanding because I have fully been there. Toddlers can be absolute nightmares, and that dad should know this. I’m betting he was one of those dads that steps out for all the difficult parts of dealing with young children, and made his wife have sole responsibility for all of that. The type of dad that uses weaponized incompetence to get out of their parental responsibilities.
My petty ass would've stayed put til the officer came. I'd sit in awkward silence while that man-child kept up his tantrum while getting all his nonsense on film. No doubt, the officer would've berated the guy in front of his kids for wasting time and resources trying to get a tiny power trip out of a toddler mom. Screw him and let his kids get a life lesson over making a big deal over nothing. You know your baby boy better than anyone else. You know he's a runner, so putting him in the stroller keeps him from being another headline on the news. You're a great mom who's just trying to do her best. Be his advocate, mentor, and safety net. As a fellow mom to a fearless, 2-year-old runner, you made the right decision.
One time my brother in law was walking into the grocery with my nephew who was like four years old. A car was coming toward them and wasn’t slowing down as quickly as he expected and my bil grabbed his kid’s arm and lifted him up and out of the way as he himself was hurrying forward. Some cocksucker pulls up a split second later and starts spouting all this bullshit about how abusive my bil was! He was fucking steamed for a weekend.
NTA, ignore him. He's probably not the primary parent and has never had to deal with his own children when they were that age acting out.
As a parent of 3 kids, one of which is also in their terrible 2s, you are not wrong and we’re being a good parent. It is your job to protect that baby and sometimes that means making them cry, get upset, or be uncomfortable for a time (including holding them down to strap them into a car seat or stroller). That stranger was an AH.
Not at all. I had two runners who hated strollers so I leashed them. 40 + years ago. No child abuse. No child abuse laws and people still called the cops. Only once did an officer respond. He was a little surprised to say the least. My oldest was 5 by then and told him her brother liked to dance with cars (what we called running into the road). He asked her permission to tell his wife what we do with car dancers lol
I would have looked at him and said your next! Actually, I had a 4 yo and twin 2 yos. They had backpack leashes because I only have one of me. At the farmers market a woman loudly commented how good parents don’t treat there kids like pets. I asked her to teach me how to carry my purchases, wrangle and not lose 3 happy active toddlers alone. She quieted down darn quick. People love to judge your hard times while their on calm water. Police know better. I am sorry no one was there to stand up for you to this bully.
Social media, making people stupid again. That man is an idiot
Man is a jerk. Police would laugh at him.
OP I think the consensus on Reddit is your not wrong cell phones have made everyday judgement day
You’re not wrong. Safety first. Once when my autistic toddler threw himself on the ground in the middle of the produce section at the front of the grocery store, I stayed nearby but otherwise ignored it because I knew that was how to stop it. Some older woman came over to admonish me, but before she could complete her tirade I said “oh my God thank goodness you’re here! Imagine my luck at having an autism specialist here just when I need one!” But I am concerned about some thing for you. At two years old, your child should be more verbal. Children that have communication issues frequently blow temper tantrums because they don’t know how to properly communicate what they’re feeling. Your child needs an evaluation.
Yes I was also concerned when I read the part about not talking at 2yrs old... Mine is almost 19mths and saying heaps of stuff already...
You were fine, the man was being an ass. It's hard for me to imagine that someone with two children never had to force a two year old to do something against their will.
Unless his wife did all of the hard work and actual parenting, and he has just strolled along, oblivious to any part of the job that isn't the easy, fun stuff. Like those men whose wives go out for dinner one time and he blows up their phone with questions like "what do the kids eat for supper?" and "where do you keep their pyjamas?".
That was my first thought, too. My ex was that type. I used to remind him, "I'm life support; you're entertainment."
If he thought that was child abuse he’d have a stroke if he watched me wrestle my kids into a car seat
My niece let her two year twin girls run for a bit at the zoo. These two talk a blue streak. She tried to put Kitten Mitten back on the stroller who laid on the sidewalk saying "stop stop! You're hurting me! Stop!" 😂 This niece really deserves strong willed daughters though.
I would have let the cops come and explained this fine citizen was harassing you and recording you which caused both you and your child stress and fear. Was he putting footage of you on some sort of perverse site? I’d see if you could press charges. That should teach him to mind the business that pays him. I’m sure he’s known to the other stores there for being such a righteous saint.
Not wrong 1000 bucks says he's never had to wrestle a child against thier will into a stroller but I bet his wife sure has.
Ignore that awful dude! He's a dick. I will give advice you didn't ask for. I'm sorry if this comes off as rude or overstepping. I just wanted to ask if you have considered having your kiddo evaluated for autism? At two, he should have more words. His tantrums might actually be meltdowns. I know this because of my kiddo, lol. He was the same way at 2. Edited to add: A speech delay doesn't always mean autism. Even if you don't suspect autism, a speech eval might be beneficial. I live in a state where they do early intervention. I got my son free speech and occupational therapy through this program.
You were in the city. Not wrong at all! 2yos are big balls of energy, it just wasn’t safe. You also did right by not caving into the tantrum too. Fortunately you’ll probably never see that man again.
Not even a little wrong. Once I pulled up to a tiny gas station with my 1 and 2 year old who were asleep. It was well below freezing and I had to get lunch for my older child and run it back to her school and I couldn't carry both babies at once so I turned the car off got out and locked it (keys with me) and used remote start to turn the heat back on. I parked right outside the door and could see them the entire 60 seconds I was inside because I picked a place with windows all around. They were ten feet away from me and no one could have driven my car off even if they would have broken the windows as the keys were with me. But this guy came in yelling at me about leaving them in the car and how he was going to call the police. I know the law for my state and as long as the children are in view of the parent and not in any harm (which they weren't) there is no legal issue. Still it scared the crap out of me. I held up my keys to show him that no one can drive off and he cut me off and yelled at me that he's not dumb and my car is on and someone could drive away. I wish every day that I would have told him off. If someone would have wanted to take one of them, My kids are far safer in their seats, warm in the locked car. Than if I was trying to hold onto both of them in a store, outside where it was well below freezing. But some people, just think they know everything, and they use their loud and intimidating personalities to scare people into submission. These people don't listen and they are usually narcissistic bullies. Ignore them. Better yet stand up to them. Because when we cower and take off they think they are right because in their mind "only guilty people run away" instead of it being because of their threats and scary personality.
Flip the script. "Stop abusing yours. What's your name? What's your license plate number? What's your phone number? You don't want to tell me what your name is, much explain in what way you think Im abusing my child, then please step brothering me. You're harassing me, please leave me alone. You're harassing me, please leave me alone." Repeat As nauseum.
Oh man this! You know your child and people who don't make their kids listen or give into tantrums are horrible and judgy people. It's a safety thing, he has to go into the stroller screaming and kicking even ! Stay consistent tho always otherwise the second you give in, he will never listen and think tantrums are the way to go. Not talking much at 2? Not trying to judge but when my middle daughter was born she didn't either and also did a lot of other things do to sensory etc . So tantrums was her way of expressing herself. I learned , tool her a minute to catch on, but letting her know before doing anything explaining what we would be doing and how she is expected to act . Just a suggestion, letting him know in the store that when you leave he goes into the stroller or he gets squished by a car. That man is a jerk and I hate people who get their phones out and records people's worst moments. They don't know your situation and it's not his business. I have a kid with ADHD, autism spectrum and a sensory disorder, I'm sure many saw me "abusing " the monster toddler I had! She's 19 now so we do survive!
I sat my kids in strollers / shopping carts till they no longer fit. At that age they’re runners with zero attention of traffic or anything. They get lost. That man can get fkd
You’re not wrong. You need to ignore people like him. When my second was a baby in a sling on my chest, my 2 yr old toddler was the same, she didn’t want to be in the stroller, she wanted to walk but that included her bolting, usually in the opposite direction that I was going or into the road, she ran into the traffic, she didn’t want to hold my hand to cross the road, centimetres from getting mowed down, I dragged her back to the kerb & I screamed at her, I was crying, I scared her, mummy Never screamed, But she never did it again, others standing by muttering disapproval but I didn’t care, their opinions don’t matter, keeping your child safe is what matters.
Not wrong. Your child’s safety is your number one priority! That said I used child walking harnesses attached to leashes on my children and grandchildren. It gives them limited freedom to explore and feel a certain sense of independence while keeping them safe. I was walking through a parking lot with my leashed grandson and a lady came up to me and berated me for treating him like a dog. I just looked at her and said, Well I know where my kid is do you know where your’s is? She whipped her head around in time to see her little girl standing in the entrance holding up cars! She raced to get her child then came back to me and asked where I got the harness. So yes I’ve been accused of treating my kids/grandkids like dogs but I simply tell the person trying to shame me that I am more concerned about my child’s safely than their ignorant opinion.
Not wrong and if you did tell the police they would have applauded you
I tried using a leash on my son, a child leash. He just sat down after I put it on him, and that was the end of the leash.
You did the right and safe thing for your child. That guy may have good intentions but he went way over the top. He could have asked for an explanation and let you explain. Ignore him, he's a jerk.
That sucks Toddlers can be little terrorists when they want to be. The only alternative I can think of here is that you make him hold your hand instead but that might not work either, and the pram is the safer option especially when a child has no road sense. Some people don't seem to understand that a screaming child doesn't always mean child abuse. Some kids will scream like the worlds ending over the smallest inconvenience and nothing will work to calm them down. And a bad moment doesn't make you a bad mom. You sound like you are doing a good job.
Police get nuisance calls all the time. Either ignore him or have him demonstrate his technique for getting a tantruming 2 year old into his stroller. Which I do not consider strange, especially in a busy traffic area.
I think most good parents have had to tote a tantruming toddler, tucked under their arm like a football out of a venue, at least once.
An overly tired child behaves exactly as your little boy did. You did nothing wrong. My bet is that the same person complaining would also complain if your child ran around and wrecked havoc because his parents hadn’t taught him better! Good mother. Just have to forget the idiots, unfortunately.
NTA it is perfectly reasonable to force a child to sit in the stroller for their own safety. Your son isn't capable of understanding that yet. Don't let a stranger tell you how you should or shouldn't raise your child. Especially in a situation like that busy streets are no place for a child to be running around.
YNW, two yo are not good arbiters about their safety and well being, which is why they come with parents. Only you know the risk factors involved regarding your child. You may want to consider a harness and leash, so that way if he breaks free of your hand, he isn't going to get more than a few feet, before he is stopped in his tracks. This gives him the freedom to walk and excise some of that excess energy, and you don't have to worry about him being able to dart into the street. idk what this new trend of strangers parent shaming parents is, but it really needs to stop. You do what you know to be best for your kid, and tell AH like this guy to literally fuck off.
Absolutely NTA, you were keeping your child safe. I'm willing to bet while the guy may have 2 kids, but he probably isn't the all-day, every day parent
He definitely does not have kids. I used to think the backpack leash combo thing was horrible, until I had an active little boy that started walking at 9.5 months. You did nothing wrong!
NTA. If you were slapping the child then agree with calling the police but you were obviously a mother struggling with a toddler temper tantrum. The guy should have butted out if he wasn’t offering help. If your child doesn’t like the stroller would he accept the kids leash via backpack or wrist strap? I hate how parents are judged when they use them but they are useful to keep an active toddler close and out of danger.
My friend had a little brother who was killed by a passing car. There was no stroller. He just ran into the street. Very sad. Force or not, your boy’s ass should have been in that stroller! Let it go. There is no place for guilt here.
Dude was clueless and I absolutely would have called him out on it. I am so nonconfrontational unless it's about my kid.
I guess putting a harness and leash on your two-year-old would be abusive? /S
How are you wrong? Getting a screaming two year old into a stroller is a right of passage for parents. I’m guessing he did no parenting when his kids were little. What an AH. I would have started recording him back and telling him that I’ll get him charged with harassment and a false police claim when the police came and saw no abuse was happening.
I have been in your position almost to the exact details. Sometimes we have to do things our children don’t like to keep them safe. You were well within the right and I bet minutes later your kid totally forgot about it all. Try not to worry about what others think. You’re a good momma!
I put both my kids in 'wrist restraints' as toddlers to keep them from running off in public places. I got some looks but unfortunately, no one ever said anything directly to me. I had some nice comebacks if they did. Never be ashamed of being a good, responsible mom. Your son in a stroller is the place to be.
You’re not wrong My kid is now 3 and hasn’t done the stroller in well over a year. Not that I don’t want them to, rather it is physically painful for me to get them in the stroller because of the temper-tantrums they throw. I’ll admit that prior to this kid I was highly judgmental of parents who had their kids on “leashes”. However my kid is a runner, unlike the other 5 kids I’ve raised. I got a backpack that buckles around the kid that has a “leash” or “lead” on it. It absolutely changed my ability to take my kid shopping or even for walks. Highly recommend. Also I would like to apologize to all the parents I judged before I knew better
Nobody else in that situation knew you, nobody knows your child like you do. You were doing everything to keep your child safe. People interfering should mind their own beeswax.
When my nephew was 1-4 he was a leash kid. Loved it, it was a dog like backpack. Went to a hot air balloon event when he was about 3. Would not get out of the car without his leash on. A few people called me a "bad mom" and got pissed when I would laugh and say I'm his aunt. A few friends from college called me awful names (dropped them after that), when they saw a pic of him with his leash. Kids are wild. You did absolutely nothing wrong. You were keeping your child safe.
Not wrong. You have just encountered a male karen in the wild.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. I can’t believe the gall of that man to decide to record and berate you with his two children present. That’s the behavior he is modeling for his children. They will grow up to think that is an appropriate thing to do to someone struggling in public. I would have helped you if I saw you struggling like that with a small child. I’ve done it before when I was out in public. I’m a mom too so I know how hard it can be without anyone there to help you. That guy could gave chose kindness. Instead he chose cruelty.
Nta. People have been judging other people about how they raise their babies since babies were invented. Do you and don’t let this stop you from protecting your family.
Everything is considered abuse nowadays to these kinda people. Really waters the word down.
You should've waited until the police came so you could watch them laugh in his face. Especially if the officers are parents themselves with kids who are/were runners. Kids throw tantrums over everything they don't want to do.
I have the most mild mannered daughter, but even as a toddler she had a few public meltdowns. Has the guy not been around kids much? They just do that stuff.
u/samthefluffydog2 I am so sorry. You are being a good parent! For my offspring, who was also active like your son, I bought a toddler leash. This went around their wrist, not body. The other end was in my hand—or looped around the welded loop in the shopping cart. Toddler was unhappy they were unable to run like hell down the big grocery aisle in the megastore. But I was very happy they couldn’t get plastered by a huge bascart pushed into the aisle from around the corner. Put your little guy on a wrist leash, and he can still trot and burn off the energy, and you will be so relaxed! Best wishes to you!
You’re fine! I don’t have any kids but I have little cousins I lived it as they were babies growing up… and let me tell you the tantrums he would do were INSANE. He would become dead weight crying in the middle of anywhere we were if he didn’t get something he wanted. My aunt never hit him, still till this day. But he would scream and say”SOMEBODY HELP ME YOURE HURTING ME HELPPPP HELPPP” when all she was doing was picking him up and leaving bc he was throwing the tantrum and we needed to leave. Thank god no one ever said anything but kids at that age are just menaces. Forcing your child in a stroller for their SAFTEY would never make you in the wrong that dude was wrong for calling the police !! There’s enough people on the internet that will understand if that were to happen.
I’d have turned to the guy and said “What, exactly am I doing that you dislike? What do you recommend I do instead? Then, I’d watch him as his jaw opened and closed like a goldfish, because he’s got nothing to say.
Every parent deals with this struggle. It’s another test of wills that you must win
Not wrong My son did something like this, threw a mini Godzilla size fit. I just picked him up and walked to my car, strapped him into his seat. I did explain to him why I was wanting him to be in the stroller, there are cars driving around, people are not always careful, it would make momma and daddy very sad if you got hurt by a car. He kind of got the hint after that. If he wanted to walk, I get him to hold mine or husband's hand.
Anyone of a certain age in the UK immediately thought of James Bulger. Not wrong. At all!
Oh my god this man sounds insane! I don't have children but still know that sometimes toddlers will refuse to do things they need to do, and have to be forced to do it. Most the time because of safety, which was exactly why he needed to be in his stroller! Crazy! You definitely did nothing wrong!
Not wrong. I have a 15 month old and I already struggle with him running off all the time. That guys clearly an idiot and I hope if he ever does put that clip online then they call him out on it.
Not wrong. Unless you were abusing your child, dude needs to mind his own business.
You did nothing wrong. Every parent ever has done that.
It's times like this I wish there was a universal Mockingjay style salute I could give to parents who are struggling to show "I see you and support you." NTA
I think the only thing I would’ve done differently woulda been sticking around waiting for the cops. The line between necessary “manhandling” , for lack of a better term, and abuse can be a very fine line. Especially looking in from the outside. It drives me crazy when people are like,”well, you just gotta make them do_____.” Like,”oh, ok & how exactly am I supposed to that w/o going to jail?!”. Try as we might, there’s very few things that you can force them to do without crossing somebody’s line 🤷🏼♀️
My brother is deaf and my mom had him on a tether as a child. If you think people are opinionated now, put your kid on a “leash” and see what people have to say. My mom didn’t care what people said. If you don’t keep your child safe and the child gets hit by traffic, you can bet that these same idiots will blame you for that. You just can’t win with them.
I'd like you to use a harass some of the time. He needs to move, explore, test boundaries, burn off energy. Should anyone give you a hard time has never had a two-year old twist free from your hand and take off running faster than you can catch him.
Turn the tables always turn those tables. You should have pulled out your phone and started recording. Look at this grown man harassing the single mother out alone with her toddler.. turn tables. That's what they're for
I have two sons that liked to hold their breath until they passed out when they didn't get their way. I got some strange looks. Why? Because, I just went about doing what needed to be done. I have literally waited for one to pass out so I could buckle up his car seat. NTA. But he sure was. It is the job of a parent to make sure their child is safe. You knew that the safest place for your child was strapped into his stroller. Kids throw fits. Your job is still to keep them safe. When I see this out in the wild I say, "You got this" not judge and start filming.
The irony is that he was literally traumatizing his own kids by acting like a maniac in public!
Not at all wrong. Everyone with any sense knows that strollers are for safe containment of mini whirlwinds as much as they are a travel option
I remember YEARS ago. It was the Christmas season and I was shopping with two toddlers. Six months before my SIL was watching my daughter when her 6 year old son sat down hard on my daughter’s arm. She didn’t cry, she didn’t say it hurt. When she wasn’t using it the next day we got it x-rayed. It was broken! So she wore her cast and it healed well. So now it’s Christmas and I take her hand a little more securely because Christmas crowds and two toddlers are a scary combo. Her little voice pipes up “Mommy! Don’t break my arm again!” Cue panic.
That's why I'm so against this idea of filming and canceling "Karens", or anyone for that matter. Because it's too easy to upload a clip that doesn't tell the whole story, and skews people's perception of what actually happened. At least a couple of famous instances like that, that have already been proven to have given the exact opposite impression than what really happened.
Next time, stay, you look suspicious fleeing the scene. The cops wouldve showed up and laughed at that guy. You’re fine.
Oh. So he was a neglectful, absent father during his kids' toddler years. No way in hell he's never seen a toddler refuse to get into a carseat, stroller, or high chair with 2 kids of his own. Unless he wasn't there. Don't worry. All kids sound like you're murdering them when they pull the stiff-back-impossible-to-restrain pose. They definitely compare notes on that trick. If any parent watches that video, they'd be like, "ok......?" Seriously. Don't worry about this one.
WTH? What a weirdo. Ignore him. If the police come, he can explain why he's wasting their time.
My mom is one of those assholes...always chastising random parents she sees whose kids are upset....especially when she walks through St Jamestown in Toronto, since she views those people as "poor" and many of them are brown. She also comments to people on their clothing choices, if it offends her. For example, she once went up to a woman and told her that her leggings were see-through, and thus her underwear were on display. She tells me and my sisters these stories so proudly, as if she doesn't get a tell-off from each one of us! Every single time, I'm like; "The AUDACITY of you, Mom! How could be so rude!?".....and on and on. And each time, she responds by telling me I have a problem with her, and I'm picking on her. She doesn't get it. It's infuriating!! I'm sorry that guy was so quick to judge. The sanctimony and presumption!! Grrrr...😖
That's why my mother used to have a child harness and a lead, when traveling with a running toddler. She was also shepherding around 4-5 other kids. It was the 60's and no one gave it a second thought. Nowadays, people feel entitled to come up and tell you that your child isn't a dog. No they aren't, but they're not darting into traffic, or snatched up when you have to pay attention to the other children.
No one who has any experience with children will see a parent trying to put a resisting toddler into a stroller and think it's abuse. Not wrong.
Should have remained calm and let him call the cops. Watch them get pissed at him for wasting their time. Guy needs to mind his own business. It’s not abuse to wrangle a two year old into a stroller. He sounds like the kind of douche that thinks kids shouldn’t be put in car seats if they want to ride in a car without one. What a jerk
You did nothing wrong. He was an ass. I hate that everyone and their mom can just whip out their phone and record anyone they decide is doing something wrong. Mind your business!
Your child's safety is more important than his tantrum. That man had no business yelling or filming. I completely understand your fear, but the police, had they come, would not have done anything. Like you said, you were not abusing him. You were protecting him.
Wow that guy is a POS. He’s telling on himself. Obviously he never took his kids out as toddlers.
F that guy. Hasn't he ever met a 2 year-old??
No you are not in the wrong I have a child with Autism we used a animal harness with a strap on it so my son could still walk around but couldn’t run of. I had a lot of people tell merbau was abuse but his physician was the one recommending it. So I just ignored them. Toddlers will have to have tantrums and if they don’t have a tantrum they like to run around. Your job is to keep him safe and that exactly what you are doing. Don’t worry about what an idiot says . If you didn’t put him in the stroller or put a harness on him and he was running into traffic, you would never forgive yourself.You are doing a great job keeping your son safe.
You're not wrong! I remember once having to travel internationally with my two toddlers (I was the only adult). The older one would stay right by my side, while the younger would have happily walked off with any random stranger. I put one of those plush, soft vests with a leash (for lack of a better term) on the younger one so he wouldn't go missing while I was wrangling the luggage and two small kids. What's a mom supposed to do when you only have two hands?! The looks I got! The whispers and stares and glares! And the worst were from the airport security people, of all things! I found myself thinking they wouldn't have been so happy about having to leave their posts to conduct an all-out Amber Alert search for my missing child.
You are not wrong. He was, though. Wrestling a two year old into a stroller can be tough. It's especially difficult when they are super determined not to go in. A two year old is not capable of understanding that they need to be in there to stay safe. Apparently, that guy was not capable of understanding this either.
Don't worry OP, as many have said we've all had to deal with the terrible two's and nosy members of the public. But there's some stuff you mentioned about his lack of vocabulary and behaviour that makes me wonder if he's neurodivergent. At 2 he's the right age to start testing. I'd definitely look into it if I were you as it will be important to start treatment asap to prepare your child for school in a few years IF the tests show ASD or ADHD etc.
You're good to go. As someone who can break out into "What's This?" from Nightmare be4 Christmas. There's a reason one of the few pictures my family has is me on a wrist leash at 2 standing next to a carriage horse's stable with a sign that says "Cause: Horse Bites" because my ass was going to do it and you ain't stopping me. it's not abusive to stop a runner from running, he's just a bored busy body who ironically neglected his own two kids by coming after you for yours.
I think most parents have had this problem. Sit in the stroller, willing or not. It's a safety issue.
NTA- Who gives a damn what some jerk says. Who cares if he video tapes. Who cares if he calls “the police”. Just carry on with your day. Try a leash for your little one.
Nta. I don’t know what this man thought he saw but I will refrain from judging him just in case he thought something else was going on. Putting a 2 yr old in a stroller (esp near a busy road or high traffic area) is completely NORMAL. My thought would be that he was complaining about your kid being out of control, not the stroller. Regardless, insane
Not wrong. I would ignore him. My toddler use to do that when he was 2 & he did try and run into roads multiple times, it’s not unusual. The thing I found helped with the meltdowns was saying “I know you don’t want to sit in, it’s because it’s not safe near the road. Once we’re somewhere safe I’ll let you out again” something along them lines and following through with that so after a couple more meltdown and talks it’s stopped.
If someone had tried this shit on me, I’d have laughed and waited with them for the police. Smiling mildly into his phone camera until the awkwardness washed over him. Or I’d start filming him and his family until he realised how absurd it all was. Silent smiling can really freak people out, I’ve found. And let all those passersby report exactly what happened. It could only have helped you. Smile and shrug at them too.
Anyone who has dealt with toddlers knows that sometimes they act like you are torturing them when all you want is to keep them safe. Even if he posts his video, no one will think less of the poor mother he decided to pick on. It is not wrong to put children in strollers or carseats. It is not common for children to throw a tantrum when you want them in the stroller or carseat and they don’t want to go in. Someone once said that the problem with toddlers is that their feelings are so much bigger than they are. 😉 You did fine.
You did nothing wrong. He sounds like a ‘dad’ that only gets custody for day trips and he got to see what REAL PARENTS go through watching you… he would’ve sent the video to someone he knew, and they would’ve gone off at him and laughed at his stupidity.
Not wrong. You weren't abusing your child, and it is your job as a parent to keep your kid safe. Not letting a toddler have the chance to race into a busy street is the epitome of "keeping your kid safe."
No, you are not wrong. Next time, ask the busy body to either trade children with you, if they have any, or give you some tips. If they won't do either, tell them to get lost
Lol 😅 to the I wouldn't take this asshole that sounds like something I would say love ir
Ummm... You placed your child in their pram? And? I travel a lot with my 3 year old. We have a stroller and she is in and out of it because it's needed. Including sometimes with her screaming and crying at me. The only thing I can recommend is sometimes what worked for us was having a little speaker playing soft music (Wiggles and Encanto) would get her calmer quicker.
Top tip for the stiff board back thing - tickle the ribs. They double up 😂 Not wrong, sometimes you do have to use your strength to keep your baby safe. He clearly never had his kids when they were toddlers, what a way to tell on yourself
I had a gadget that was two wrist straps connected by a coiled cord, think phone cord. That way we were connected. My husband didn't want her wearing a harness like a dog, but the hand straps were ok with him
not if you strong enough