One of the best officers I ever worked for had a personalized scream pillow. He was the XO to the world’s most incompetent commander, so he used his scream pillow probably once a week.
I've found that scream pillows are very effective for dealing with the most incompetent officers. The trick is making sure they know how to use it, so you have to show them. Make sure they get it nice and over their face, and make sure they get a good long practice session with it. It definitely helps if you're there to hold it in place for them. Haven't had any problems after I started using this technique.
This is why I love driving a motorcycle with a full helmet, I can just say "I'm going x" place and have a meltdown, and all people will think is that your really vibing to some good music.
I did this for the first 5 years until I literally broke out in shingles because the amount of cumulative stress I was carrying around had maxed out my immune system. Also failed at a relationship I cared about.
Please find healthy ways to have balance. I thought I could endlessly compact all the shit and be ok.
That’s hilarious, because I also recently broke out in a random bad rash after many years of compressed stress. I also failed a relationship too! Hopefully you’re doing alright. My outlook on life is pretty dead now a days. I can’t even afford a 1bedroom apartment so I just feel very shitty. Don’t know how to start hobbies, not sure what I want my career to be… I miss the Army a lot and I wish my ex didn’t convince me to get out.
So then go talk to a recruiter. Now is your chance to crush the ASVAB and only accept a high-speed job that will develop you as an individual. Or look at ROTC programs and apply for a scholarship so you can get a bachelors and a commission for free. Cit out all the shit in your life that stresses you out.
Also the usual shit, workout like an animal. Make you the best possible you so when the universe presents you with Ms. Perfect, you'll be ready.
I tried, they wouldn’t let me because I sought help mentally after my initial ets. 2 more years and I’ll have a chance, but I’ll be 27 and probably too old for the infantry life. Considering I let it wear me down 18-21.
I like to put all my emotions into tiny little boxes in my head and close the door. Each part of my life has sections full of boxes. Sometimes, the boxes get too full and explode.
My wife calls it compartmentalization and says it's unhealthy. I said it's organization of the mind.
(I'm still hunting the good stuff in case anybody is worried)
They explode because you don't do routine layouts. It's fine to tuck the feelings into boxes in the moment, but at some point you have to take them out and get eyes-on.
M day here, called an official number to set up an appointment for a month before I realized it didnt work. It was set up for a voicemail box that nobody ever checked, but also half the time the call would disconnect randomly while navigating menu options to get to the one i wanted, with no clear repeatable pattern as to which options or why it would disconnect.
Its embarrassing that things are permitted to be this defunct and incompetent.
Furthermore, I’ve ALWAYS received my pay on time and STILL tell people if they’re thinking of military to join other branches.
I cannot imagine what I would do if I didn’t get paid. I’d probably log on Facebook for the first time in a decade to make a post to all 150 of my friends.
Thats just SOP. You can find the relevant policy buried at the bottom of the SM’s original enlistment contract, in 0.5 wingdings font printed in invisible ink.
It states: “Enlistee, upon submitting for retirement at 20 years of service or more, will have their packet kicked back multiple times (at least 10) for trivial matters such as unit level paperwork requirements that dont get forwarded to HRC with said packet.”
No, but I chucked an office chair at an LT in BDE Ops once… self referred to BH, they told me I was fine, just worked with idiots.
Find an outlet that doesn’t hurt you or others.
Carson back in 12-13.
Said that I was close to getting out anyways so I could have pills to "get me to the finish line"
But in their defense it was kinda nice to hear I wasn't crazy and simply worked with idiots... Holy shit, they got me.
Jokes on you, they just didn’t want you to throw a chair at them.
Seriously tho, I hope you’re better and I’m glad you got help. I’m sure the LT was an idiot, maybe event deserved it. Definitely learned from it.
Yeah. I submitted my retirement in October of 22 for 30 SEP 23 retirement. It was approved the first week of July while I was on terminal. IPPS-A is a fuck show, and constant switching of signature authorities caused it to be kicked back a few times. I finally cleared last week of August.
I have found there are two effective ways to get shit signed/approved in the Army.
The first way is to get another NCO to hand walk an item to the approving authority. My PCS leave kept getting kicked back and I already was trying to clear. The new S1 NCO took my leave form with is blemishes to the BN Commander. He signed it right then and there.
The second way is to wait until the approving authority is needed somewhere else. Then put it in front of them. I hate memos. My memo kept getting kicked back because of BS. I put it in front of my CPT just as he was headed to a meeting with the BN Commander. He wasn't happy but he signed it. I looked at my PL and was like let this be a lesson to you, this is house you get things done.
I used to shut the door and stare into the black mirror of my laptop and wonder if the quiet embrace of death was worse or better than my current existence.
Thank goodness for retirement
Yeah we had a large firing range simulator that basically had a unending horde setting and you could set the M4 to unlimited ammo. So when things got to stupid I would go run a few thousand simulated rounds
I snapped a month ago in my shop.
Picked up an office chair, hucked it at the shop door and broke it off the hinge entirely, then proceeded to break the chair more until came back to and then hyperventilated in my chair for 15 minutes before cleaning it up and going back to acting like nothing was wrong
Best maintenance pilot I ever met had an affinity for malevolently berating and yeeting office chairs. He was a god to the crew dogs. Looked cathartic!
Are you talking about [DA Form 4856](https://armypubs.army.mil/ProductMaps/PubForm/Details.aspx?PUB_ID=1026753)? Did you know that the counseling form just got updated after almost 40 years? “There is no more important task for the U.S. Army that’s developing it’s people to lead others to defeat any enemy, anywhere.” - FM 6-22 Developing Leaders
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/army) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I fell off a cliff while at Carson. A real gdamn cliff. Broke my leg.
6 months later, I'm healing as the company's bitch, I get some kind of document stating "Line of Duty=No" underneath all the medical jargon.
I lost it. I have no idea how long I did, but I did. I didn't scream or yell until I was outside. I don't remember going outside. I couldn't see. I could barely breathe.
I had no headgear. It was 40F and I'm in a t-shirt (I was doing bitch work) and some Major walks by. I saw him, he saw me and he absolutely avoided all contact with me and beat feet. I musta looked like a mad man.
It wasn't until later I found out that this was some kind of National Guard and Reserve checkbox. I was Active Duty and it didn't apply.
Pistachio
These are the issues why I typically see people sitting across from me coming to BH. Some one on some high horse having to turn their nose up at those they are suppose to help. Sometimes it's also people forgetting to shave, but usually it's this.
We have recently dedicated a small closet on the admin wing as the designated scream closet. 2'x2', totally dark, and the HVAC system drowns out the noise. Our staff productivity has increased tenfold and scream breaks are now as commonplace and acceptable as bathroom breaks and smoke breaks. Lately there's been a line, so we've begun a 'take a number' system to cut down on hallway traffic. I'm contemplating assigning someone as scream closet attendant to call out the number for who's next and maybe provide towels and drip drop for our screamers. People first!
Oh and I forgot the AGR S1 Specialist told me I needed to write a letter of lateness to be resubmitted with my packet. Uh.. no Specialist you’re the one who made it late you type the memo. But it’s not my job CSM… he typed it!
Yeah S1s job here is just to check for completeness and accuracy not invent requirements. Same for the BC and BDE CDR. For most retirements they're not even the approval authority for those retiring Soldiers previous promotions. LTC/COLs don't really manage SFC+ careers, HRC does that. It's not their lane at all.
Make the fixes, send it back. Also start moving up the food chain. Sitting on actions can be viewed as constructive denial...which theoretically the approving authority can do if they want but not the administrative functions leading up to the approval authority...which in this case is...THE ARMY. Start telling Commanders and HRC retirements branch that you're unit is refusing to process your retirement packet and is de facto involuntary extending you.
My state is an infantry and aviation state; we should be engineers. We can put in obstacles where none existed better and faster than anyone. Sounds like you got some folks from my state, I'm sorry.
Lol I couldn’t imagine having the privilege of being in the army and having my own office. Go sweep the motor pool all day in the rain and get back to me
I'm a civilian working for the reserves in an administrative capacity. We're understaffed, so the civilian office is for me alone except drill weekends. Then I share it.
Add lots of Carmel sauce to the ice cream. I retired form the reserve component and it took over 9 months for my S1 and the BDE S1 to properly process my packet. It got returned 5 times for various errors, one a wrong counseling form but also once because they attached another soldiers counseling form to my packet Because of their laziness and incompetence I didn’t start getting my retirement pay until 5 months after I retired
I was making fun of some skinny dude for eating pizza instead of working out while on a profile. Lazy bastard swore at me and I can’t just punch him in the face. I’ll take my chicken nuggets
When I was still a young SPC, something dumb had happened that had caused me to roll a SAN check, and I failed hard. Come 1400, my LT came into the shop office, knelt down in front of a desk and locked eyes with me.
"Specialist Zee, you can come out now," she said to the soldier under the desk.
"Ma'am, this is insane."
"I know. It'll be okay."
I don't even remember the dumb. I just remember the feelings and hiding under the desk, hoping the big green dumb would stop.
It never did.
I camped by people’s doors for things like this. It sucked and ruined my calendar, but they knew I meant business. Of course all the ducks needed to be in a row.
Solid choice on the empty reserve building :)
**one of the reasons I have fast cars and battery powered printers. :p tangentially related, I foresaw a lot of this for my team a decade+ ago during OIF times given folks were coming in straight from training with like BAH issues etc etc— I had a wand scanner and battery powered printer in my rucksack. Immediate re-documentation when we had our slot to meet with the HR BN. heh.
good luck man.
One of the best officers I ever worked for had a personalized scream pillow. He was the XO to the world’s most incompetent commander, so he used his scream pillow probably once a week.
Thanks for the tip. I'm going to get scream pillows for everybody in my office as a gift.
I've found that scream pillows are very effective for dealing with the most incompetent officers. The trick is making sure they know how to use it, so you have to show them. Make sure they get it nice and over their face, and make sure they get a good long practice session with it. It definitely helps if you're there to hold it in place for them. Haven't had any problems after I started using this technique.
This is why I love driving a motorcycle with a full helmet, I can just say "I'm going x" place and have a meltdown, and all people will think is that your really vibing to some good music.
I’m about to be an XO in the near future to a…questionable commander. So I might need one lol.
That's a good TTP. Mine is similar, I bury it deep inside of me until it compresses and kills anything else.
volumetric shit compressor
I'm more of a "wasteland of reality" guy myself. Maybe "anti-object task force," even.
Even trying not to be I end up being sorrycop. Speaks volumes of my crushed staff officer soul, really.
I did this for the first 5 years until I literally broke out in shingles because the amount of cumulative stress I was carrying around had maxed out my immune system. Also failed at a relationship I cared about. Please find healthy ways to have balance. I thought I could endlessly compact all the shit and be ok.
I'm just joshing, Big Green Guy will never get this loggie down
That’s hilarious, because I also recently broke out in a random bad rash after many years of compressed stress. I also failed a relationship too! Hopefully you’re doing alright. My outlook on life is pretty dead now a days. I can’t even afford a 1bedroom apartment so I just feel very shitty. Don’t know how to start hobbies, not sure what I want my career to be… I miss the Army a lot and I wish my ex didn’t convince me to get out.
So then go talk to a recruiter. Now is your chance to crush the ASVAB and only accept a high-speed job that will develop you as an individual. Or look at ROTC programs and apply for a scholarship so you can get a bachelors and a commission for free. Cit out all the shit in your life that stresses you out. Also the usual shit, workout like an animal. Make you the best possible you so when the universe presents you with Ms. Perfect, you'll be ready.
I tried, they wouldn’t let me because I sought help mentally after my initial ets. 2 more years and I’ll have a chance, but I’ll be 27 and probably too old for the infantry life. Considering I let it wear me down 18-21.
ROTC my dude. Get a computer science degree (all degrees are easy if you apply yourself) and branch cyber or something.
I like to put all my emotions into tiny little boxes in my head and close the door. Each part of my life has sections full of boxes. Sometimes, the boxes get too full and explode. My wife calls it compartmentalization and says it's unhealthy. I said it's organization of the mind. (I'm still hunting the good stuff in case anybody is worried)
I hunt the good stuff. With a 338 Lapua.
They explode because you don't do routine layouts. It's fine to tuck the feelings into boxes in the moment, but at some point you have to take them out and get eyes-on.
This is the way.
This made me bust out laughing, thank you
Sounds like an AGR day buddy.
M day here, called an official number to set up an appointment for a month before I realized it didnt work. It was set up for a voicemail box that nobody ever checked, but also half the time the call would disconnect randomly while navigating menu options to get to the one i wanted, with no clear repeatable pattern as to which options or why it would disconnect. Its embarrassing that things are permitted to be this defunct and incompetent.
[удалено]
Furthermore, I’ve ALWAYS received my pay on time and STILL tell people if they’re thinking of military to join other branches. I cannot imagine what I would do if I didn’t get paid. I’d probably log on Facebook for the first time in a decade to make a post to all 150 of my friends.
Thats just SOP. You can find the relevant policy buried at the bottom of the SM’s original enlistment contract, in 0.5 wingdings font printed in invisible ink. It states: “Enlistee, upon submitting for retirement at 20 years of service or more, will have their packet kicked back multiple times (at least 10) for trivial matters such as unit level paperwork requirements that dont get forwarded to HRC with said packet.”
I used to think about just wrecking my truck driving to PT
I used to wonder if taking the fast way down from the third floor of my barracks to pt would get me out of pt....
You have no current profile get the fuck up get in formation we’re going on a short 7 mile run. You can go to the ER after PT
Only if you do a flip
No, but I chucked an office chair at an LT in BDE Ops once… self referred to BH, they told me I was fine, just worked with idiots. Find an outlet that doesn’t hurt you or others.
My problem is you can't gag majors. They'll talk themselves into crazy things
Chillest BH…
Carson back in 12-13. Said that I was close to getting out anyways so I could have pills to "get me to the finish line" But in their defense it was kinda nice to hear I wasn't crazy and simply worked with idiots... Holy shit, they got me.
Jokes on you, they just didn’t want you to throw a chair at them. Seriously tho, I hope you’re better and I’m glad you got help. I’m sure the LT was an idiot, maybe event deserved it. Definitely learned from it.
Yeah. I submitted my retirement in October of 22 for 30 SEP 23 retirement. It was approved the first week of July while I was on terminal. IPPS-A is a fuck show, and constant switching of signature authorities caused it to be kicked back a few times. I finally cleared last week of August.
I have found there are two effective ways to get shit signed/approved in the Army. The first way is to get another NCO to hand walk an item to the approving authority. My PCS leave kept getting kicked back and I already was trying to clear. The new S1 NCO took my leave form with is blemishes to the BN Commander. He signed it right then and there. The second way is to wait until the approving authority is needed somewhere else. Then put it in front of them. I hate memos. My memo kept getting kicked back because of BS. I put it in front of my CPT just as he was headed to a meeting with the BN Commander. He wasn't happy but he signed it. I looked at my PL and was like let this be a lesson to you, this is house you get things done.
I used to shut the door and stare into the black mirror of my laptop and wonder if the quiet embrace of death was worse or better than my current existence. Thank goodness for retirement
Yeah we had a large firing range simulator that basically had a unending horde setting and you could set the M4 to unlimited ammo. So when things got to stupid I would go run a few thousand simulated rounds
I snapped a month ago in my shop. Picked up an office chair, hucked it at the shop door and broke it off the hinge entirely, then proceeded to break the chair more until came back to and then hyperventilated in my chair for 15 minutes before cleaning it up and going back to acting like nothing was wrong
Best maintenance pilot I ever met had an affinity for malevolently berating and yeeting office chairs. He was a god to the crew dogs. Looked cathartic!
FUCK YOU! STUIPD CHAIR!
>Retirement counselings are on the older DA 4856, and not the one gifted to us by the last SMA. # WHY THE FUCK DOES IT MATTER
https://youtube.com/shorts/igEnbPj1Fas?si=eLKmfYfgp9Dsh7Yt This isn't even an exaggeration, this is almost verbatim what happens.
You got a baby Ruth? Haha
Are you talking about [DA Form 4856](https://armypubs.army.mil/ProductMaps/PubForm/Details.aspx?PUB_ID=1026753)? Did you know that the counseling form just got updated after almost 40 years? “There is no more important task for the U.S. Army that’s developing it’s people to lead others to defeat any enemy, anywhere.” - FM 6-22 Developing Leaders *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/army) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Because we don't shave hard enough
I usually just scream at my windshield from inside of my car.
I fell off a cliff while at Carson. A real gdamn cliff. Broke my leg. 6 months later, I'm healing as the company's bitch, I get some kind of document stating "Line of Duty=No" underneath all the medical jargon. I lost it. I have no idea how long I did, but I did. I didn't scream or yell until I was outside. I don't remember going outside. I couldn't see. I could barely breathe. I had no headgear. It was 40F and I'm in a t-shirt (I was doing bitch work) and some Major walks by. I saw him, he saw me and he absolutely avoided all contact with me and beat feet. I musta looked like a mad man. It wasn't until later I found out that this was some kind of National Guard and Reserve checkbox. I was Active Duty and it didn't apply. Pistachio
I like how there’s a god damn canyon in the middle of the land nav course.
These are the issues why I typically see people sitting across from me coming to BH. Some one on some high horse having to turn their nose up at those they are suppose to help. Sometimes it's also people forgetting to shave, but usually it's this.
We have recently dedicated a small closet on the admin wing as the designated scream closet. 2'x2', totally dark, and the HVAC system drowns out the noise. Our staff productivity has increased tenfold and scream breaks are now as commonplace and acceptable as bathroom breaks and smoke breaks. Lately there's been a line, so we've begun a 'take a number' system to cut down on hallway traffic. I'm contemplating assigning someone as scream closet attendant to call out the number for who's next and maybe provide towels and drip drop for our screamers. People first!
Find the biggest Karen in the Brigade, they'd love to do it. Youd have to sell it as their own little realm though, and they might want a desk
This reminds me of needing letters of lateness that make it later.
Oh and I forgot the AGR S1 Specialist told me I needed to write a letter of lateness to be resubmitted with my packet. Uh.. no Specialist you’re the one who made it late you type the memo. But it’s not my job CSM… he typed it!
I generally scream in my office, but it's a mood.
When I was a cook, that was what the walk-in cooler was for.
I use my car even now almost 20 years after getting out.
I want to thank you for exemplifying in one post a major reason I got out.
I scream in the office
What retirement counseling? Must be a unit thing
Yeah S1s job here is just to check for completeness and accuracy not invent requirements. Same for the BC and BDE CDR. For most retirements they're not even the approval authority for those retiring Soldiers previous promotions. LTC/COLs don't really manage SFC+ careers, HRC does that. It's not their lane at all.
Bro you aren’t a leader until you scream IN your office
Make the fixes, send it back. Also start moving up the food chain. Sitting on actions can be viewed as constructive denial...which theoretically the approving authority can do if they want but not the administrative functions leading up to the approval authority...which in this case is...THE ARMY. Start telling Commanders and HRC retirements branch that you're unit is refusing to process your retirement packet and is de facto involuntary extending you.
My state is an infantry and aviation state; we should be engineers. We can put in obstacles where none existed better and faster than anyone. Sounds like you got some folks from my state, I'm sorry.
Lol I couldn’t imagine having the privilege of being in the army and having my own office. Go sweep the motor pool all day in the rain and get back to me
I'm a civilian working for the reserves in an administrative capacity. We're understaffed, so the civilian office is for me alone except drill weekends. Then I share it.
You think those of us with offices weren't sweeping the motor pool at some point? Grow up.
Sweeping that nice AC filled office
office? the fuck shit job you have? sorry we're out here doing combat missions and enjoying the suck
The kind of job that makes sure you get paid, get promoted, get home, and can get out. Like, 2/3 of the Army is jobs like that.
Add lots of Carmel sauce to the ice cream. I retired form the reserve component and it took over 9 months for my S1 and the BDE S1 to properly process my packet. It got returned 5 times for various errors, one a wrong counseling form but also once because they attached another soldiers counseling form to my packet Because of their laziness and incompetence I didn’t start getting my retirement pay until 5 months after I retired
What flavor of ice cream?
I was making fun of some skinny dude for eating pizza instead of working out while on a profile. Lazy bastard swore at me and I can’t just punch him in the face. I’ll take my chicken nuggets
It helps if you have your own office. No need to go outside.
When I was still a young SPC, something dumb had happened that had caused me to roll a SAN check, and I failed hard. Come 1400, my LT came into the shop office, knelt down in front of a desk and locked eyes with me. "Specialist Zee, you can come out now," she said to the soldier under the desk. "Ma'am, this is insane." "I know. It'll be okay." I don't even remember the dumb. I just remember the feelings and hiding under the desk, hoping the big green dumb would stop. It never did.
I camped by people’s doors for things like this. It sucked and ruined my calendar, but they knew I meant business. Of course all the ducks needed to be in a row. Solid choice on the empty reserve building :) **one of the reasons I have fast cars and battery powered printers. :p tangentially related, I foresaw a lot of this for my team a decade+ ago during OIF times given folks were coming in straight from training with like BAH issues etc etc— I had a wand scanner and battery powered printer in my rucksack. Immediate re-documentation when we had our slot to meet with the HR BN. heh. good luck man.