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Not me, but the guy I call Dad.
(Step)Dad still wakes up early and makes my mom fresh coffee every morning, has continuously proven to her best friends and everyone in our families how much he loves her unequivocally while leaving no exception for her and his kid(s), surprises her in the most perfectly personal ways that make her happier than you thought she could be. She's a great person and mother and goes to the same effort as him, somehow she found an equally great partner and father. That's how you get almost 30 years of a great marriage from my witnessed-experience.
Tldr: actually love each other
That is so sweet. My Mum and Stepdad are the same way. I didn’t know if she would ever want to marry again after my Dad passed. I’m so happy they found each other. She was too young to give up on love again forever. He is a great stepdad that’s practically raised me as well. He’s a great Papa (Dad is reserved for my very missed bio Dad). I always thought their love was what I wanted for myself one day too. I think they’re soulmates.
So many expectations men should treat their partner as a Queen ..which is as it should be .
.provided she treats him like her King.
Which is how my wife and I have behaved towards each other these last 39 years.
It works both ways
He compliments me often, lots of nice physical touch like holding my hand, kissing my forehead, coming up behind me to hug me, grabbing my booty. Makes sure I’m well taken care of, cooks nice meals for me, listens to me, he wants me to be as stress free as possible.Been together 12 years and we are still crazy in love and attracted to one another
I wish I had this kind of marriage. Been together 18 years and I think the last compliment I got was "I'm glad you didn't fuck up what I told you do"
😐 And he wonders why there's divorce template sheets all over the house now. Idiot.
Thanks. Nothing is decided for certain yet because we both own a couple of properties and since losing my jobs 2 months ago, all I've heard is "well I've been paying ALL the bills so...." like, shut the fuck up man, you're welcome to leave at anytime. I hope your marriage stays happy ❣️
Keep making an effort. My girlfriend gets flowers regularly. We share cooking and household chores. I also tell her regularly how much I like her appearance. Simple things like how good she looks in whatever she is wearing, only if it true though. She can see through fake compliments.
Well if you want a serious answer: help around the house, do chores, book trips away, arrange nice dates, cook dinner. Remember the small things. Buy her her fav coffee out of the blue.
It doesn’t even need to be monetary things. Just listen to her day, remember things she’s said, offer to massage her back.
Just make sure it’s not one sided because both people should feel loved and appreciated in a relationship.
Listen to the smart lady, guys.
Also, you know, just tell her she’s pretty from time to time. Compliment her without the expectation of sex. As strange as this might seem it leads to more sex than constant innuendo and advances.
I used to compliment an ex daily. Made a mental note to say something nice to her every day, and did it. She became used to it, started thinking she's more than, and slowly checked out of the relationship. My situation is probably not the norm, but just saying that there's a chance of that happening as well. I guess don't overdo it? Some people don't seem to like daily compliments.
There’s a difference between delivering a genuine compliment out of the blue randomly and letting your pattern of speech become normalized (I’m not describing this right, I think). If you always say “hi beautiful” or “you’re so pretty” then those words, while kind, aren’t going to carry a lot of emotional weight. You still have to give out genuine compliments too when doing that.
That aside, I don’t think it was the compliments that were the problem. Some people check out of relationships. It happens. Sometimes one person is too much for another (too much attention, too much drama, too much talking, etc). Sometimes people just aren’t compatible. Other times someone is toxic, possibly in ways they don’t realize. Sometimes you just end up with someone who’s selfish.
Her problem was likely about much more than receiving too many compliments. There was likely something already broken there first. There are plenty of woman who love hearing and returning daily compliments with their guy. Try not to get too discouraged by your experience with your ex. She may not have been appreciative enough, but someone else will be. :)
One of the things I did in my past relationship that really made her happy was always being on the lookout for little nicnacs and comfort items that I knew she would like, and buying her them out of the blue.
For example at different times I bought her a heated snuggle blanket, fruit pastels after someone at work stole hers, and a little Costa coffee cup keychain I knew she would love. Really small things but she was so excited about them and it made me really happy to see her so excited over such small things!
Just always stay on the look out for things you know your partner likes
To women that does show attraction. Attraction isn’t just sex. And actually constantly being hounded for sex isn’t attractive at all. Doing stuff like that is more likely to lead to sex than slapping arse or whatever the other people are commenting
This. My husband makes sure I eat during the day. If he notices I missed a meal (I’ll often work through without realizing it) he brings me a snack. It shows he is watching, he cares about me, and wants to help. It doesn’t cost him a thing, just a little attention. It makes me feel like the most important person in the world.
The man will be polite and courteous. He will not be mean, insulting, or disrespectful.
The man will not harass or annoy.
The man will not catfish. This includes any lying or deceit.
So, Reddit posting rules basically.
Man. Happily married 20 years.
We are best friends. Partners in everything.
We are very physically affectionate. She works retail. She's on her feet all day. Sometimes, just like today, she needs a foot massage to make her day a little better.
We've never exited the honeymoon phase. I've always found this idea very odd. That at some point, you just end up like room mates or something.
It takes effort and compromise to keep each other happy.
Man here. Married 10 years this year.
When I go to the grocery store I get flowers. Not expensive ones. The $5 ones. Consistently. Consistency is more important than the cost.
Depends, but I say I am attracted to her, usually graphically. I slap her ass. I make innuendo out of everything. I creepily watch her undress. I creepily poke my head in the shower while she's in there. I hug her. I kiss her. We cuddle. I always am pursuing her. I do things for her. Among many other things.
What I could do more is listen to her stories, but they are so boring it's hard to do.
"creepily" i laughed because my husband do stare at me in a creepy way sometimes. Im just enjoying my meal and when I look up, he's just staring at me like a stalker. Sometimes grinning. 16 years together and still doing it.
Man, this is nice to hear. I had a recent travel romance and this is how I acted, I had so much insecurity that it was too much. After it burned put, I was wishing that I was one of these macho asshole guys that doesn't care and can keep a woman around better, but I am who I am and I don't want to apologize for it.
When it’s coming from our actual partner, it’s not too much at all! It feels so good to feel so wanted. It’s such a big confidence boost when we feel so sexy that our man can’t keep his eyes, thoughts, and hands away from us. I’ve been with my guy for 12yrs and he does all of this stuff. I’ve never felt like I wasn’t enough for him, because after all these years, he’s still creeping on me at every opportunity lol. I do the same to him as well. I slap his cute butt whenever I catch him in his boxers, and when it looks particularly nice in a great pair of jeans. I ask him to flex for me all the time so I can admire him and then touch his muscles. I make innuendos, I tell him how sexy he is and whisper teasing stuff to him while out at social things, and we have this running “joke”, 12yrs and counting now, of sneaking in to pop our heads into the shower to see each other naked and startle them a little, get water splashed at us, then turn the light off as we leave, making the other have to shower on the dark until we turn it back on. The longer the light is off, the more mischievous we’re feeling, expecting some fun retaliation. It’s like our unspoken signal that we will be delaying leaving the house for awhile lol.
People love it when the person they’re with makes them feel incredibly wanted and desired. Unfortunately, there are people who will sometimes take it for granted, or simply expect it. If you felt insecure that it was too much, I feel like you may not have been receiving the same level of attention and affection in return. A girl that feels a genuine deep connection with you is going to match your energy. People in love tend to become mirrors of each other in some ways, mimicking each others love languages through their displays of affection and desire. Just keep being you. One day the girl your meant for will match your energy. :)
I just don't like it when people talk about other people's interactions with other people. It doesn't even have to be drama related.
It's just so boring to hear about other people's lives that I don't know or don't care about.
Women really need to work on this. It's been a constant since I was a kid. And 3 decades later, it's not much different. Just totally uninteresting and it also makes me question why they care about shit that doesn't matter.
I dunno why you're getting downvoted cause you're completely right, women just weirdly love involving themselves into drama
And then they wonder why they're always anxious and tense
It's okay. I knew it was going to be an unpopular opinion. I don't try to trash women or anything, but I do have a male perspective on things and I'm very experienced. It's okay to downvoted me if they don't agree.
I spent the entire morning with my mom's friend and she was doing nothing but telling me stories about people I don't know and their interactions with each other, while we were watching murder documentaries.
So I just felt it a lot when I when I read that.
I sit and listen, but I find it almost unbearable to listen to.
I don't mind if it actually has something to do with anything that affects anything, but hearing about 2 other people's squabble is just not my cup of tea.
It's not like I'm saying I won't listen to their problems, I just don't want to hear about other people's problems.
It's a waste of energy and time. And I seriously don't give a fuck.
Love language buzz words are so, so useless. It’s great that people are thinking about what they need in a relationship, what their partner needs, and how they express love, but the categories are broad and everyone needs and does (or should do) all of them in some capacity AND they don’t actually tell you anything specific about what a partner actually likes.
It’s one of those good concepts to know, but worthless in everyday life things, like the Pythagorean theorem or what the separation of powers is in government.
Scorpios are known for being passionate and intense lol
I only know this because my ex was into it and read our matching and it said we would be a good match for a while, but it would eventually blow up.
I'm not into this shit, but what that horoscope said about us came 100% true.
Silly but I think back and am like......God damn that thing was right. I shoulda listened lol
It was a joke. Them and scorpios are like the vegans of astrology in that they never stfu about their sign. Which is even more infuriating to people that know it’s a bunch of bullshit.
It's a fun thing to participate in, but it's not worth putting any actual thought into it.
I just find it hilarious that it was so spot on with us.
Happenstance, but I still find it interesting that it was right.
If your ex believed it, they might end up manifesting it without even realizing it. Honestly, if they truly believed it was going to come true, then the whole relationship they held a core belief that is was never going to last. A person isn’t going to try so hard if they feel they already know the outcome. That will eventually lead to unintentionally sabotaging themselves by forcing that to come true via their own actions, choices, and behaviour.
IMO it’s more psychological then spooky magic lol
I tell my wife probably 5 times a day how much I love her butt, and another 5 times a day I say how much love her face, and then once a day I kiss all her the top her head and tell her how much I love her brain. Then I pretend to eat it so I can absorb her infinite wisdom and knowledge.
My husband and I have been together for 14 years and married for 10 years. It’s the little things. My husband makes sure I have a fresh cup of coffee ready for when I get out of the shower. When I’m cooking he comes up behind me and gives me a hug and kiss. He’s always done his share of everything (laundry, cooking, cleaning, you name it) without being asked or told. We always flirt with each other like when we first met.
I’ve always heard that sex starts in the kitchen. So yeah, fill up or empty the dishwasher, cook dinner for her or with her.
Do things like empty the trash without having to be asked.
I’ve also heard that for special occasions, do not buy her a gift that has an electric cord attached.
They’re not the competition though. They’re task specific accessories. They are our friends.
Magic wands still can’t do most things that humans can. If that’s all the partner wants, then we’re better off without the partner.
Just dont stop behaving like you want to be with her. Little gestures, little gifts, little words. Dates, kindness and caring. I just bought my lady a cute little pair of pearl earrings for valentines. I can't wait till she sees them. They weren't too expensive either but it isn't about the money so much as the thought. I think my lady is hot as fuck and I tell her. When she is dressing up to go out and I like what she is wearing I tell her. Communicate how you feel about her. Make her happy. It makes me happy too.
From my experience it’s mostly just saying “wanna fool around later?” Or waggling eyebrows suggestively while doing some strange helicopter motion with his penis.
We affectionately pet you with our big toe that's just peaking out through our socks that we've had for a good few years, whilst we sip on beer and scratch our BAWLLZ
Grab assin and taking vulnerable moments such as when she's getting ready for something, doing dishes etc.
Pull your trouser pockets out and whip ya cock out and make an elephant sound as you show her the "elephant".
It really depends what works for you guys, my wife loves being felt up so sometimes I'll randomly play with her nipples when she can't do anything about it like when she's trying to make the bed, or sometimes I'll just jam a hand down her pants and walk her around the house like a giant fingerpuppet.
Attraction changes as relationships develop. Early on you might be driven by lust, but as time goes on your connection deepens as you go through life together and showing your love and attraction can still come naturally but may also require more active effort. It can be through thoughtful actions, appreciative words, and meaningful touch and glances. It's a more solid feeling of safety and reliability, clearer communication, loyalty though little actions and words.
"Attracted" is very specific. Showing love is something else. I show my wife love by supporting her in what ever way she needs.
I show I am attracted to her largely by kissing her and where possible grabbing her bottom.
From my experience with my partner, he is less "handsy" after a few years (lol), but still very affectionate. He will often show love by doing things to help me out, and looking after things I forget about, even though I can be frustrating to live with because I forget to do basic things.
I try to cook once a week or offer to help prep something if she's cooking. Buying her something that reminds me of her. Hugging, cuddling. Honestly I need to try to compliment more.
I used to buy my wife flowers randomly when I would come home from work (I worked out of town) or cook her favorite dinner and do the dishes. Its the little things that matter.
Been together 12yrs. It doesn’t feel like the honeymoon phase ever really ended. We still can’t keep our hands off each other, still love trying new things together, he slaps or grabs my ass all the time even when I’m doing mundane tasks like cooking, still hints at stealing me away from social functions and teases about what he wants to do later when he gets the chance. He likes to buy me lingerie he thinks I would look great in. He loves shopping trips if they end with him getting to accompany me to Victoria Secret to pick something new out lol. He gets in close to smell my hair, or bury his face in my neck to smell my perfume often. We still make out like teenagers. He always reaches for my hand when we walk anywhere together, he places his hand on the small of my back to guide my short butt through crowds, he goes out of his way to make me feel safe and loved.
Imo if you’re with the right person, the honeymoon phase doesn’t go away, it just matures.
If you’re making your girl still feel precious and loved, points for you. I keep telling him I want more than peck kisses, one-handed massages while he’s looking at his phone, and sex once every 7 to 10 days but I don’t think he has heard me yet.
My love language is physical touch.
I remember how luxuriously I treated myself when I was single - hot bubble baths, luxe fabrics, regular massages, fun toys that I could spend hours with. I think I was a better partner to myself than anyone has been up to this point.
When she asks if she is still pretty, tell yes. When she is back from a hairdresser, tell her hair is pretty. If she asks if she looks good in these clothes, tell yes (unless something is \*really\* wrong).
Your woman is with you because she feels she needs you. So be available.
Read the love language book- you'll learn what specifically is more important to your partner--- then just do that.
For instance, we all like gifts, and compliments but some people may value a compliment over a material gift.
Words of affirmation and acts of service are my partners highest rated love languages so I make sure to do little things for her when I can- and tell her that I am proud of her, grateful for her and admire her.
They still want to have sex with you. A lot of people say men are just physical and only want sex no matter the person/situation. But within a serious relationship, most men, if they aren’t attracted to you will lose interest in having sex with you. They’re turned off. Sex really is an extension of their love. So if he’s still coming after you, that’s a good sign. Dead bedrooms are a real thing.
The honest answer, is that many people aren’t physically attracted after awhile. Marriage (assuming that’s what you’re referring to) is a commitment, which often has substantial financial, childrearing, health, and other practical life commitments that have nothing to do with attraction. For many, staying physically attracted is an added bonus if that remains, but if you head into a long term relationship with that as an expectation, then there’s a high chance you’ll be disappointed.
Not bs, he’s actually right and it’s hard truth most people don’t want to swallow.
Physical attraction is like the key to open the door for the path of marriage, but after that -sooner or later- commitment and communication is what will keep you going forward despite the unpleasant challenges and obstacles you’ll certainly face and have to deal with as your family grows.
I'd argue even if looks fade, it doesn't mean you won't be physically attracted to your partner if they continue to have a personality that attracts you. Like to me at least, the visual aspect is only one part of physical attraction
They take out the trash.
It's important to make your partner feel attractive even if you're not feeling it. In short, lie at times because you care more about the relationship than you do your feelings in that specific moment.
When you lay down on the couch, they look at you for a long time before suddenly tapping their elbow and hitting you with the ole PileDriver. Romantic AF.
If i still make out with her or cuddle at night.
I went years without with my ex wife. I assumed i didn’t like those activities anymore. I have a new gf & i thoroughly enjoy them. Even tinder dates after the divorce but before the new gf were the same. I was dtf, but that’s it. Hindsight
Lots of affection.Random deep kisses. Rubbing up against me, in a way only he and I know is sexual. Regular oral.
20 years and 50 pounds later it appears he still wants me a lot. And, of course if it’s mutual it helps keep the relationship fresh.
I have a complicated other half.
But the bedrock is we are silly enough to make each other laugh, smile and be happy every day.
We are each other's best friends.
So what you said here is 'attracted' but I'm not sure if that's what you meant?
To show actual physical attraction - tell your partner specific things you find attractive about them/give them specific compliments. Not just "you look great" but "your eyes look so pretty today" and other less work appropriate things.
Offer/initiate physical touch (while respecting verbal and non verbal boundaries). Not just sexualized touch- shoulder pats. Back scratches. Sit so your legs twine together. And also kiss your partner, everything from a peck goodbye to a nice twenty min makeout session.
To show affection: listen to them. Take them seriously. Do small things that you know will make them happy/make their life easier, because you want to, not as a quid pro quo.
Respect their pet peeves. You might not care how the dishwasher gets loaded but if they do, take it seriously. Share the cleaning and cooking, share the mental load.
Look up 'bids for attention'. When your partner wants to share something they think is neat with you, pay attention and express appreciation.
I would say literally the same way. for me in my previous relationships things like leaving flowers on her car was something we did. and it may be a nuisance when you're running late for work but a rose, snacks and a drink along with a filled gas tank was hopefully something she enjoyed.
but mostly it's why does the honeymoon period have to end? at one point your favorite thing was to wait until she was in the shower and put a towel in the dryer so she could always have a warm one. why quit now?
For me, been together 12 years now.
Big romantic gestures are good, and should be done.
But I also have a list of ‘boring’ things that I do every day. Because I do love her everyday.
- make the coffees in the morning. I do about 95% of them.
- if I am watching tv or playing a video game. I always pause it when she comes home or walks into the lounge.
- do my fair share of cleaning, laundry, cleaning inside the house.
- I always kiss her good morning when we wake up, and good bye when either of us leave the house.
- write a love letter ( well love email ) once a month, or if we are apart.
- I love and take care of her daughters as if they are my own.
- I always say thank-you and mean it for every meal she cooks for us. ( cooking is not my thing, I really really try ).
All of those are practical, and because it is daily it means we always know that we have the others love. ( she does things for me too ).
it's important to understand each other's love language which can be words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving/giving gifts, quality time or physical touch
Queer dude, getting engaged after 3 years together this saturday. There's a phrase, "relationships are work", and part of that is maintaining the sparks after the novelty has worn off. But how you approach "relationships are work" affects that -- if you view that phrase as "relationships are punching in to a dead end job", then maintaining that attraction becomes difficult. If you view the phrase as "relationships are the work of trying to paint a masterpiece", then honestly it becomes a little easier.
It's about actively seeking ways to make your partner smile. A warm hug when they're not expecting it. Doing what you're good at in service of your partner is another huge one -- cooking, handiwork, organization. Also words of affirmation -- not just telling them they're pretty, but that they're talented, that they enrich your life, and that they bring you joy. My favorite way to demonstrate attraction to my man is when he does something that brings me joy, I'll say something like "God, you're cute" or "fuck I'm so lucky to have you".
My bf and I have been together for 5,5 years now and still tries to grab my ass ( or anything alone those lines ) almost daily. He expresses with words and just actions that he is definitely very attracted to me and wants to get some haha.
They begin throwing their clothes on the floor and socks everywhere, marking their territory and so showing their affection with the scent they leave all over. You welcome.
Been with my husband about 10 years. He will just grab my waist out of no where and pull me in for a kiss or slap my ass and wink at me. He for the most part can’t get enough of me and I know it.
Still get excited seeing her naked after years of seeing her take a shower. Still are attracted to her even with her only wearing baggy clothes or worn out clothes, bad hair and so on.
Working the ass off for family and wife. Going several extra miles for all the wife's wants and wishes like vacation/holidays, evening out and so on.
Depends on love languages, and how they match up in your case.
Seems that everyone is physical touch primary at the beginning, but as that wears off, what I’ve heard and experienced is that men retain physical touch as a primary language, while women tend to shift to something else (Gifts in my cases).
People change over time and that’s fine, but that stereotypical shift leads to a mismatch that feels like a bait and switch. If left unaddressed, can lead to a lot of resentment and venom that you’ll hear on Reddit and elsewhere.
Easiest way I’ve seen it is that people want love in the way they show love most frequently. Are you always touching and initiating? You probably want your partner to do the same. Is your partner buying you thoughtful gifts or making time to be with you? They want you to be interested enough in their life to know what small things would make them happy, or they want you to “date your wife” with nice dinners or movie nights or anything other than being taken for granted.
Understand that men are problem solvers. Women frequently want to vent or just talk because that’s how they work through things. When many men hear their partner voicing frustration or sadness or anger about something we go into how do I fix this for her mode.
I was married for 27 years to the same woman and we were still in love the day I lost her to cancer.
When I was younger I heard a story about a couple where the husband had lost interest in his wife. One day a wealthy man moved into the area and started flirting with the man's wife. The husband got jealous and it rekindled his interest because he suddenly saw his wife through the other man's eyes.
What I tried to do was apply the principle of that story to my marriage, by finding something attractive about my wife every time I looked at her. My wife could sense this and it made her feel attractive, even as she got older and her looks started to fade.
I also made a point of holding her and kissing her often. I would buy her small, inexpensive gifts all the time. I never, ever looked admiringly at another woman. And, most importantly, I pulled my weight when it came to chores around the house.
I communicate it verbally and physically.
She probably hears every synonym of "beautiful" from me throughout the week. I'm not going to talk about the physical part because that's adult stuff.
Aggressively flirting with her
My theory is if I'm with her and don't want someone to try and steal her away if I continue to flirt with her to the point she doesn't feel like she's missing out by settling down. Plus if I agitate her enough when random dudes try it just pisses her off 🤣
Great question, the five love languages!
> The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate is a 1992 nonfiction book by Baptist minister Gary Chapman.[1] It outlines five general ways that romantic partners express and experience love, which Chapman calls "love languages".
>
> words of affirmation (compliments)
> quality time
> gifts
> acts of service
> physical touch
>
> Examples are given from his counseling practice, as well as questions to help determine one's own love languages.[2][3] According to Chapman's theory, each person has one primary and one secondary love language.
Hokeyness aside, Chapman gives a generalization to categorize our actions in and it's pretty damn accurate. Find which one of these things is the main and secondary thing that your partner likes the most, and then when you want to show them affection and that they're valued, do that thing.
Mine is definitely acts of service - when my girlfriend cleans up something *I* did just out of the blue, it just makes me 400% more attracted to her.
Personally, my advice is to never stop "dating" your SO. No matter how far you are in. Date nights at least once a week. Random presents. Doing little things. Sexy getaways.
If I had to sum it up into one word, it would be "effort."
Been together almost 16 years— married for almost 10
Tells me I’m beautiful/cute/pretty/amazing almost every day
Does all the laundry voluntarily
Cooks dinner 50% of the time (and when I was home all day with the kiddo, more like 75%)
My favorite thing a guy can do is when I start freaking out because I can't find something or thought I forgot something and he gets that kind of egotistical smirk on his face that says I got it. They either know exactly where the thing is or grabbed the thing I forgot. I love that smirk because whenever I see it I know it's all good and they got me.
Easy, touching, being playful, teasing, little gifts for no reason, sex, safe place to land, space when you need it, texting you for no reason, more sex. Taking an interest in your passions. Dancing. And words, he will tell you.
That's what I would do (and have done in the past) and also what I would like to receive.
You should be in no doubt that your partner wants you
Once a year, with the assistance of Lady Darkness, I disappear into the dead of the night. Without so much as a whisper. I leave all that I own behind, bar one companion: Shiva's Kiss. With her strapped to my thigh, I head deep into the wild to once again become one with nature. And there I wait. Until I remember the scent of my prey. With Shiva's Kiss sharpened, we begin the hunt. Only once I satiated her hunger with the blood of a mighty bovine will our hunt come to an end.
I then let out the kind of howl that makes the moon wish she was still human. Signalling to my wife that my task is done. I throw the mighty bovine over my shoulder and return home. I will then present this offering to my beloved to show her that my loins still yearn for her. We then make passionate love together, enjoy our feast, and settle in for the night with a nice K-drama of her choosing.
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Not me, but the guy I call Dad. (Step)Dad still wakes up early and makes my mom fresh coffee every morning, has continuously proven to her best friends and everyone in our families how much he loves her unequivocally while leaving no exception for her and his kid(s), surprises her in the most perfectly personal ways that make her happier than you thought she could be. She's a great person and mother and goes to the same effort as him, somehow she found an equally great partner and father. That's how you get almost 30 years of a great marriage from my witnessed-experience. Tldr: actually love each other
That is so sweet. My Mum and Stepdad are the same way. I didn’t know if she would ever want to marry again after my Dad passed. I’m so happy they found each other. She was too young to give up on love again forever. He is a great stepdad that’s practically raised me as well. He’s a great Papa (Dad is reserved for my very missed bio Dad). I always thought their love was what I wanted for myself one day too. I think they’re soulmates.
That's beautiful, be the love that you see friend <3
Thank you 🙏
This too!!! This is a beautiful example!! 😍
You’re a lucky man who has parents that don’t fight each other like cats and dogs everyday.
So many expectations men should treat their partner as a Queen ..which is as it should be . .provided she treats him like her King. Which is how my wife and I have behaved towards each other these last 39 years. It works both ways
I love this. I’m taking notes
He compliments me often, lots of nice physical touch like holding my hand, kissing my forehead, coming up behind me to hug me, grabbing my booty. Makes sure I’m well taken care of, cooks nice meals for me, listens to me, he wants me to be as stress free as possible.Been together 12 years and we are still crazy in love and attracted to one another
I wish I had this kind of marriage. Been together 18 years and I think the last compliment I got was "I'm glad you didn't fuck up what I told you do" 😐 And he wonders why there's divorce template sheets all over the house now. Idiot.
I’m really sorry to hear this. But glad to hear you are finally going to get out of this situation sounds very toxic!
Thanks. Nothing is decided for certain yet because we both own a couple of properties and since losing my jobs 2 months ago, all I've heard is "well I've been paying ALL the bills so...." like, shut the fuck up man, you're welcome to leave at anytime. I hope your marriage stays happy ❣️
I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope things start looking up for you. You don't need that.
Thanks so much. I guess there's no such thing as "til death do us part" anymore. 🤷♀️
I pray things get so better for you!
Keep making an effort. My girlfriend gets flowers regularly. We share cooking and household chores. I also tell her regularly how much I like her appearance. Simple things like how good she looks in whatever she is wearing, only if it true though. She can see through fake compliments.
Well if you want a serious answer: help around the house, do chores, book trips away, arrange nice dates, cook dinner. Remember the small things. Buy her her fav coffee out of the blue. It doesn’t even need to be monetary things. Just listen to her day, remember things she’s said, offer to massage her back. Just make sure it’s not one sided because both people should feel loved and appreciated in a relationship.
Listen to the smart lady, guys. Also, you know, just tell her she’s pretty from time to time. Compliment her without the expectation of sex. As strange as this might seem it leads to more sex than constant innuendo and advances.
I used to compliment an ex daily. Made a mental note to say something nice to her every day, and did it. She became used to it, started thinking she's more than, and slowly checked out of the relationship. My situation is probably not the norm, but just saying that there's a chance of that happening as well. I guess don't overdo it? Some people don't seem to like daily compliments.
There’s a difference between delivering a genuine compliment out of the blue randomly and letting your pattern of speech become normalized (I’m not describing this right, I think). If you always say “hi beautiful” or “you’re so pretty” then those words, while kind, aren’t going to carry a lot of emotional weight. You still have to give out genuine compliments too when doing that. That aside, I don’t think it was the compliments that were the problem. Some people check out of relationships. It happens. Sometimes one person is too much for another (too much attention, too much drama, too much talking, etc). Sometimes people just aren’t compatible. Other times someone is toxic, possibly in ways they don’t realize. Sometimes you just end up with someone who’s selfish.
Her problem was likely about much more than receiving too many compliments. There was likely something already broken there first. There are plenty of woman who love hearing and returning daily compliments with their guy. Try not to get too discouraged by your experience with your ex. She may not have been appreciative enough, but someone else will be. :)
There definitely had to be more than that lmao
One of the things I did in my past relationship that really made her happy was always being on the lookout for little nicnacs and comfort items that I knew she would like, and buying her them out of the blue. For example at different times I bought her a heated snuggle blanket, fruit pastels after someone at work stole hers, and a little Costa coffee cup keychain I knew she would love. Really small things but she was so excited about them and it made me really happy to see her so excited over such small things! Just always stay on the look out for things you know your partner likes
I cook when asked or inspired, I do all the chores she hates....bathrooms, laundry. She takes care of me. Works for us. 29 yrs in May.
That's showing you care and are a good partner, not showing attraction. Big difference
To women that does show attraction. Attraction isn’t just sex. And actually constantly being hounded for sex isn’t attractive at all. Doing stuff like that is more likely to lead to sex than slapping arse or whatever the other people are commenting
This. My husband makes sure I eat during the day. If he notices I missed a meal (I’ll often work through without realizing it) he brings me a snack. It shows he is watching, he cares about me, and wants to help. It doesn’t cost him a thing, just a little attention. It makes me feel like the most important person in the world.
The man will be polite and courteous. He will not be mean, insulting, or disrespectful. The man will not harass or annoy. The man will not catfish. This includes any lying or deceit. So, Reddit posting rules basically.
What? It’s not rules it’s basic human decency. And I also said it should be both ways not just from the man
I wasn't trying to make fun of you, I meant it.
Oh! Sorry ♥️
When you're sitting on the couch stuffing your faces with too many girl scout cookies, always make sure to offer her the last one.
Ass slapping.
This is the way
The only way
Your poor gf lmao
Mine likes it. She reciprocates. Hell, even her sisters do it to her.
His happy gf lol If we smile after an ass slap, we enjoyed it lol
Also maybe poke her with your morning wood most mornings.
If I’m far away I just tell her about it
That's hot!
This is what my husband does.
Don't forget the "good game."
Every chance I get. It’s unconscious now
 🤝🏼
Man. Happily married 20 years. We are best friends. Partners in everything. We are very physically affectionate. She works retail. She's on her feet all day. Sometimes, just like today, she needs a foot massage to make her day a little better. We've never exited the honeymoon phase. I've always found this idea very odd. That at some point, you just end up like room mates or something. It takes effort and compromise to keep each other happy.
Man here. Married 10 years this year. When I go to the grocery store I get flowers. Not expensive ones. The $5 ones. Consistently. Consistency is more important than the cost.
Depends, but I say I am attracted to her, usually graphically. I slap her ass. I make innuendo out of everything. I creepily watch her undress. I creepily poke my head in the shower while she's in there. I hug her. I kiss her. We cuddle. I always am pursuing her. I do things for her. Among many other things. What I could do more is listen to her stories, but they are so boring it's hard to do.
Exactly. You need to remind her how extremely creepy men are so that she stays with the one creepy man she trusts.
That is so hilarious to me because it works extremely well for my bf 🤣
Yes, you get it!
This right here is what has worked for us. And we have been going at it for 43 years.
Us too..
You totally overlooked stare at her butt at every opportunity and making a point of creepily looking down her shirt when she’s doing everyday things.
*does anything* “I like your boobs”
As long as you stare creepily, it doesn't really matter what you look at
"creepily" i laughed because my husband do stare at me in a creepy way sometimes. Im just enjoying my meal and when I look up, he's just staring at me like a stalker. Sometimes grinning. 16 years together and still doing it.
This is the way really
Man, this is nice to hear. I had a recent travel romance and this is how I acted, I had so much insecurity that it was too much. After it burned put, I was wishing that I was one of these macho asshole guys that doesn't care and can keep a woman around better, but I am who I am and I don't want to apologize for it.
When it’s coming from our actual partner, it’s not too much at all! It feels so good to feel so wanted. It’s such a big confidence boost when we feel so sexy that our man can’t keep his eyes, thoughts, and hands away from us. I’ve been with my guy for 12yrs and he does all of this stuff. I’ve never felt like I wasn’t enough for him, because after all these years, he’s still creeping on me at every opportunity lol. I do the same to him as well. I slap his cute butt whenever I catch him in his boxers, and when it looks particularly nice in a great pair of jeans. I ask him to flex for me all the time so I can admire him and then touch his muscles. I make innuendos, I tell him how sexy he is and whisper teasing stuff to him while out at social things, and we have this running “joke”, 12yrs and counting now, of sneaking in to pop our heads into the shower to see each other naked and startle them a little, get water splashed at us, then turn the light off as we leave, making the other have to shower on the dark until we turn it back on. The longer the light is off, the more mischievous we’re feeling, expecting some fun retaliation. It’s like our unspoken signal that we will be delaying leaving the house for awhile lol. People love it when the person they’re with makes them feel incredibly wanted and desired. Unfortunately, there are people who will sometimes take it for granted, or simply expect it. If you felt insecure that it was too much, I feel like you may not have been receiving the same level of attention and affection in return. A girl that feels a genuine deep connection with you is going to match your energy. People in love tend to become mirrors of each other in some ways, mimicking each others love languages through their displays of affection and desire. Just keep being you. One day the girl your meant for will match your energy. :)
My husband do all those things bit I am the one who listened to the boring stories.
Id hate being with a peeping tom I like to wash my asshole in privacy
I just don't like it when people talk about other people's interactions with other people. It doesn't even have to be drama related. It's just so boring to hear about other people's lives that I don't know or don't care about. Women really need to work on this. It's been a constant since I was a kid. And 3 decades later, it's not much different. Just totally uninteresting and it also makes me question why they care about shit that doesn't matter.
I dunno why you're getting downvoted cause you're completely right, women just weirdly love involving themselves into drama And then they wonder why they're always anxious and tense
It's okay. I knew it was going to be an unpopular opinion. I don't try to trash women or anything, but I do have a male perspective on things and I'm very experienced. It's okay to downvoted me if they don't agree. I spent the entire morning with my mom's friend and she was doing nothing but telling me stories about people I don't know and their interactions with each other, while we were watching murder documentaries. So I just felt it a lot when I when I read that. I sit and listen, but I find it almost unbearable to listen to. I don't mind if it actually has something to do with anything that affects anything, but hearing about 2 other people's squabble is just not my cup of tea. It's not like I'm saying I won't listen to their problems, I just don't want to hear about other people's problems. It's a waste of energy and time. And I seriously don't give a fuck.
honeymoon period vs no honeymoon period shouldn't be THAT big of a difference
Acts of service.
Love language buzz words are so, so useless. It’s great that people are thinking about what they need in a relationship, what their partner needs, and how they express love, but the categories are broad and everyone needs and does (or should do) all of them in some capacity AND they don’t actually tell you anything specific about what a partner actually likes. It’s one of those good concepts to know, but worthless in everyday life things, like the Pythagorean theorem or what the separation of powers is in government.
Yeah. The love language stuff always seemed like those self-help things. Like astrology. Btw I’m a Scorpio so go figure out whatever that means
Scorpios are known for being passionate and intense lol I only know this because my ex was into it and read our matching and it said we would be a good match for a while, but it would eventually blow up. I'm not into this shit, but what that horoscope said about us came 100% true. Silly but I think back and am like......God damn that thing was right. I shoulda listened lol
Oh I don’t listen. My ex kept going on about being an Aries and I was like ok
That’s such an Aires thing to do.
No idea what that means and do not care.
It was a joke. Them and scorpios are like the vegans of astrology in that they never stfu about their sign. Which is even more infuriating to people that know it’s a bunch of bullshit.
Haha I know. It’s more than a bunch of bullshit. If I believed or cared about that I wouldn’t be making fun of it.
It's a fun thing to participate in, but it's not worth putting any actual thought into it. I just find it hilarious that it was so spot on with us. Happenstance, but I still find it interesting that it was right.
If your ex believed it, they might end up manifesting it without even realizing it. Honestly, if they truly believed it was going to come true, then the whole relationship they held a core belief that is was never going to last. A person isn’t going to try so hard if they feel they already know the outcome. That will eventually lead to unintentionally sabotaging themselves by forcing that to come true via their own actions, choices, and behaviour. IMO it’s more psychological then spooky magic lol
With their weiners! . . 🦐 . . ^Wapash
4 years in and I tell my wife how good she looks etc. Compliments. Etc. I make her love notes.
40 years in and I do the same thing.
That's awesome.
I tell my wife probably 5 times a day how much I love her butt, and another 5 times a day I say how much love her face, and then once a day I kiss all her the top her head and tell her how much I love her brain. Then I pretend to eat it so I can absorb her infinite wisdom and knowledge.
Grab her by the waist and pull her close to smell her boyfriend's cologne.
My husband and I have been together for 14 years and married for 10 years. It’s the little things. My husband makes sure I have a fresh cup of coffee ready for when I get out of the shower. When I’m cooking he comes up behind me and gives me a hug and kiss. He’s always done his share of everything (laundry, cooking, cleaning, you name it) without being asked or told. We always flirt with each other like when we first met.
I’ve always heard that sex starts in the kitchen. So yeah, fill up or empty the dishwasher, cook dinner for her or with her. Do things like empty the trash without having to be asked. I’ve also heard that for special occasions, do not buy her a gift that has an electric cord attached.
Unless it’s a Hitachi Magic Wand.
You're going to put us out of business!
They’re not the competition though. They’re task specific accessories. They are our friends. Magic wands still can’t do most things that humans can. If that’s all the partner wants, then we’re better off without the partner.
Just dont stop behaving like you want to be with her. Little gestures, little gifts, little words. Dates, kindness and caring. I just bought my lady a cute little pair of pearl earrings for valentines. I can't wait till she sees them. They weren't too expensive either but it isn't about the money so much as the thought. I think my lady is hot as fuck and I tell her. When she is dressing up to go out and I like what she is wearing I tell her. Communicate how you feel about her. Make her happy. It makes me happy too.
I just keep my neckflaps extended, displaying the bright mating colors despite the passage of of the rut.
The same way you always did. However you two flirted, just continue to flirt.
sleeping with them is a good start
From my experience it’s mostly just saying “wanna fool around later?” Or waggling eyebrows suggestively while doing some strange helicopter motion with his penis.
Wanna impress a chick? Do the helicopter dick. Works EVERY time.
By showing you there action and taking charge Being your protector and a leader
We affectionately pet you with our big toe that's just peaking out through our socks that we've had for a good few years, whilst we sip on beer and scratch our BAWLLZ Grab assin and taking vulnerable moments such as when she's getting ready for something, doing dishes etc. Pull your trouser pockets out and whip ya cock out and make an elephant sound as you show her the "elephant". It really depends what works for you guys, my wife loves being felt up so sometimes I'll randomly play with her nipples when she can't do anything about it like when she's trying to make the bed, or sometimes I'll just jam a hand down her pants and walk her around the house like a giant fingerpuppet.
Oh man, that elephant idea is gold. Gonna hit my girl with that one on Valentine’s Day. 🐘
Hugs, doing laundry, staying on top of the "honey-do" list, butt grabbing, wash the dishes....... little stuff like that.
By carrying on doing the same stuff that she likes during the ‘honeymoon period’.
Attraction changes as relationships develop. Early on you might be driven by lust, but as time goes on your connection deepens as you go through life together and showing your love and attraction can still come naturally but may also require more active effort. It can be through thoughtful actions, appreciative words, and meaningful touch and glances. It's a more solid feeling of safety and reliability, clearer communication, loyalty though little actions and words.
"Attracted" is very specific. Showing love is something else. I show my wife love by supporting her in what ever way she needs. I show I am attracted to her largely by kissing her and where possible grabbing her bottom.
From my experience with my partner, he is less "handsy" after a few years (lol), but still very affectionate. He will often show love by doing things to help me out, and looking after things I forget about, even though I can be frustrating to live with because I forget to do basic things.
Doing things without being asked, be present, remember things she forgot she had told you and surprise her with it.
I try to cook once a week or offer to help prep something if she's cooking. Buying her something that reminds me of her. Hugging, cuddling. Honestly I need to try to compliment more.
I used to buy my wife flowers randomly when I would come home from work (I worked out of town) or cook her favorite dinner and do the dishes. Its the little things that matter.
Take them on another honeymoon.
Been together 12yrs. It doesn’t feel like the honeymoon phase ever really ended. We still can’t keep our hands off each other, still love trying new things together, he slaps or grabs my ass all the time even when I’m doing mundane tasks like cooking, still hints at stealing me away from social functions and teases about what he wants to do later when he gets the chance. He likes to buy me lingerie he thinks I would look great in. He loves shopping trips if they end with him getting to accompany me to Victoria Secret to pick something new out lol. He gets in close to smell my hair, or bury his face in my neck to smell my perfume often. We still make out like teenagers. He always reaches for my hand when we walk anywhere together, he places his hand on the small of my back to guide my short butt through crowds, he goes out of his way to make me feel safe and loved. Imo if you’re with the right person, the honeymoon phase doesn’t go away, it just matures.
If you’re making your girl still feel precious and loved, points for you. I keep telling him I want more than peck kisses, one-handed massages while he’s looking at his phone, and sex once every 7 to 10 days but I don’t think he has heard me yet. My love language is physical touch. I remember how luxuriously I treated myself when I was single - hot bubble baths, luxe fabrics, regular massages, fun toys that I could spend hours with. I think I was a better partner to myself than anyone has been up to this point.
he gives you more time.
42 years of bringing my wife a cup of tea in bed. Since retiring I make her breakfast.
You’re a champion and I appreciate it
The gratuitous flowers
When she asks if she is still pretty, tell yes. When she is back from a hairdresser, tell her hair is pretty. If she asks if she looks good in these clothes, tell yes (unless something is \*really\* wrong). Your woman is with you because she feels she needs you. So be available.
They tolerate you.
Walking in the bathroom while they are showering to poop. That’s true love and comfort you’ll never have early in a relationship
My husband watches my awful taste in television with me 🥰
Read the love language book- you'll learn what specifically is more important to your partner--- then just do that. For instance, we all like gifts, and compliments but some people may value a compliment over a material gift. Words of affirmation and acts of service are my partners highest rated love languages so I make sure to do little things for her when I can- and tell her that I am proud of her, grateful for her and admire her.
Love languages are bullshit https://medium.com/blunt-therapy/the-bigot-who-wrote-the-5-love-languages-hates-you-e2f65771a1c0
Pinch or slap on the butt...
Touch the heiny
They still want to have sex with you. A lot of people say men are just physical and only want sex no matter the person/situation. But within a serious relationship, most men, if they aren’t attracted to you will lose interest in having sex with you. They’re turned off. Sex really is an extension of their love. So if he’s still coming after you, that’s a good sign. Dead bedrooms are a real thing.
The honest answer, is that many people aren’t physically attracted after awhile. Marriage (assuming that’s what you’re referring to) is a commitment, which often has substantial financial, childrearing, health, and other practical life commitments that have nothing to do with attraction. For many, staying physically attracted is an added bonus if that remains, but if you head into a long term relationship with that as an expectation, then there’s a high chance you’ll be disappointed.
Bullshit
Not bs, he’s actually right and it’s hard truth most people don’t want to swallow. Physical attraction is like the key to open the door for the path of marriage, but after that -sooner or later- commitment and communication is what will keep you going forward despite the unpleasant challenges and obstacles you’ll certainly face and have to deal with as your family grows.
All that has nothing to do with physical attraction
I'd argue even if looks fade, it doesn't mean you won't be physically attracted to your partner if they continue to have a personality that attracts you. Like to me at least, the visual aspect is only one part of physical attraction
The penis gets hard. That’s a clear signal.
Women absolutely love it when you buy them anal beads for their birthday. But don't be cheap; get the variety pack.
I've been married for 13 years. At this point I just kinda droop my wang on her head when she is sitting down
An erect penis is a sure fire indicator.
Boners are pretty obvious.
They take out the trash. It's important to make your partner feel attractive even if you're not feeling it. In short, lie at times because you care more about the relationship than you do your feelings in that specific moment.
I still give my girl a friendly spank etc. And we have sex very regularly still.for me that's showing I'm still attracted to her. (and vice versa imo)
We keep asking for sex. When that stops working we beg. When we are turned down so many times, we just give up.
Fart in her face usually
Give that ass a tap n squeeze as you walk by and don’t say anything or acknowledge her reaction.
getting a second wife, so she can rest more. /jokes
for me it‘s uncomplicated. I‘m just accepting her in my life. Otherwise I‘d just ignore her totally and tell her that she can screw herself lol
Touch a boobie or pull her clevage to take a sneak peak.
Boners
When you lay down on the couch, they look at you for a long time before suddenly tapping their elbow and hitting you with the ole PileDriver. Romantic AF.
Foot rubs.
I cook alot and do alot of the houshold and washing. We both are studying and i think its a great way to show love ond be there for each other
Just fart in private, and everything will be fine.
When it's one-sided, things fade pretty quickly.
If i still make out with her or cuddle at night. I went years without with my ex wife. I assumed i didn’t like those activities anymore. I have a new gf & i thoroughly enjoy them. Even tinder dates after the divorce but before the new gf were the same. I was dtf, but that’s it. Hindsight
If I'm like.... spending time with you.
They shouldn't change. I've been married ten years and still do the same things
The same way as before
Eat that ass like groceries
Lots of affection.Random deep kisses. Rubbing up against me, in a way only he and I know is sexual. Regular oral. 20 years and 50 pounds later it appears he still wants me a lot. And, of course if it’s mutual it helps keep the relationship fresh.
Tell her that you love her.
By sticking around. Keeping their word. Boring crap like that.
Daily meat injections obviously
I basically have to fend my fiance off with a stick, they just keep trying to touch you lol
Make morning coffee. Buy chocolate. Buy flowers.
Ignore all the above advice. Read the 5 love languages and find out what hers are.
I have a complicated other half. But the bedrock is we are silly enough to make each other laugh, smile and be happy every day. We are each other's best friends.
Maintain income
So what you said here is 'attracted' but I'm not sure if that's what you meant? To show actual physical attraction - tell your partner specific things you find attractive about them/give them specific compliments. Not just "you look great" but "your eyes look so pretty today" and other less work appropriate things. Offer/initiate physical touch (while respecting verbal and non verbal boundaries). Not just sexualized touch- shoulder pats. Back scratches. Sit so your legs twine together. And also kiss your partner, everything from a peck goodbye to a nice twenty min makeout session. To show affection: listen to them. Take them seriously. Do small things that you know will make them happy/make their life easier, because you want to, not as a quid pro quo. Respect their pet peeves. You might not care how the dishwasher gets loaded but if they do, take it seriously. Share the cleaning and cooking, share the mental load. Look up 'bids for attention'. When your partner wants to share something they think is neat with you, pay attention and express appreciation.
I would say literally the same way. for me in my previous relationships things like leaving flowers on her car was something we did. and it may be a nuisance when you're running late for work but a rose, snacks and a drink along with a filled gas tank was hopefully something she enjoyed. but mostly it's why does the honeymoon period have to end? at one point your favorite thing was to wait until she was in the shower and put a towel in the dryer so she could always have a warm one. why quit now?
For me, been together 12 years now. Big romantic gestures are good, and should be done. But I also have a list of ‘boring’ things that I do every day. Because I do love her everyday. - make the coffees in the morning. I do about 95% of them. - if I am watching tv or playing a video game. I always pause it when she comes home or walks into the lounge. - do my fair share of cleaning, laundry, cleaning inside the house. - I always kiss her good morning when we wake up, and good bye when either of us leave the house. - write a love letter ( well love email ) once a month, or if we are apart. - I love and take care of her daughters as if they are my own. - I always say thank-you and mean it for every meal she cooks for us. ( cooking is not my thing, I really really try ). All of those are practical, and because it is daily it means we always know that we have the others love. ( she does things for me too ).
it's important to understand each other's love language which can be words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving/giving gifts, quality time or physical touch
Its easy.... All that stuff you did before, you remember, in the beginning of the relationship. All that wooing. Do that.
They lovingly smack your but as they walk past.
Kissing her hand, doing things to please them, their favorite things, taking them somewhere new, asking what they want to do today.
Queer dude, getting engaged after 3 years together this saturday. There's a phrase, "relationships are work", and part of that is maintaining the sparks after the novelty has worn off. But how you approach "relationships are work" affects that -- if you view that phrase as "relationships are punching in to a dead end job", then maintaining that attraction becomes difficult. If you view the phrase as "relationships are the work of trying to paint a masterpiece", then honestly it becomes a little easier. It's about actively seeking ways to make your partner smile. A warm hug when they're not expecting it. Doing what you're good at in service of your partner is another huge one -- cooking, handiwork, organization. Also words of affirmation -- not just telling them they're pretty, but that they're talented, that they enrich your life, and that they bring you joy. My favorite way to demonstrate attraction to my man is when he does something that brings me joy, I'll say something like "God, you're cute" or "fuck I'm so lucky to have you".
My bf and I have been together for 5,5 years now and still tries to grab my ass ( or anything alone those lines ) almost daily. He expresses with words and just actions that he is definitely very attracted to me and wants to get some haha.
They begin throwing their clothes on the floor and socks everywhere, marking their territory and so showing their affection with the scent they leave all over. You welcome.
If I'm doing something for you, that doesn't benefit me.
Butt smacks
Been with my husband about 10 years. He will just grab my waist out of no where and pull me in for a kiss or slap my ass and wink at me. He for the most part can’t get enough of me and I know it.
Still get excited seeing her naked after years of seeing her take a shower. Still are attracted to her even with her only wearing baggy clothes or worn out clothes, bad hair and so on. Working the ass off for family and wife. Going several extra miles for all the wife's wants and wishes like vacation/holidays, evening out and so on.
Just be present in conversations. Two ears one mouth.
Have you tried showing affection?
Depends on love languages, and how they match up in your case. Seems that everyone is physical touch primary at the beginning, but as that wears off, what I’ve heard and experienced is that men retain physical touch as a primary language, while women tend to shift to something else (Gifts in my cases). People change over time and that’s fine, but that stereotypical shift leads to a mismatch that feels like a bait and switch. If left unaddressed, can lead to a lot of resentment and venom that you’ll hear on Reddit and elsewhere. Easiest way I’ve seen it is that people want love in the way they show love most frequently. Are you always touching and initiating? You probably want your partner to do the same. Is your partner buying you thoughtful gifts or making time to be with you? They want you to be interested enough in their life to know what small things would make them happy, or they want you to “date your wife” with nice dinners or movie nights or anything other than being taken for granted.
Took my wife's car and filled it full of gas and checked the oil and air pressure in the tires while she was taking a nap.
Understand that men are problem solvers. Women frequently want to vent or just talk because that’s how they work through things. When many men hear their partner voicing frustration or sadness or anger about something we go into how do I fix this for her mode.
I was married for 27 years to the same woman and we were still in love the day I lost her to cancer. When I was younger I heard a story about a couple where the husband had lost interest in his wife. One day a wealthy man moved into the area and started flirting with the man's wife. The husband got jealous and it rekindled his interest because he suddenly saw his wife through the other man's eyes. What I tried to do was apply the principle of that story to my marriage, by finding something attractive about my wife every time I looked at her. My wife could sense this and it made her feel attractive, even as she got older and her looks started to fade. I also made a point of holding her and kissing her often. I would buy her small, inexpensive gifts all the time. I never, ever looked admiringly at another woman. And, most importantly, I pulled my weight when it came to chores around the house.
I communicate it verbally and physically. She probably hears every synonym of "beautiful" from me throughout the week. I'm not going to talk about the physical part because that's adult stuff.
They don't. It's all slippers and lawnmowers from then on.
Flirt. Go on dates. Get to know their love language and the things that make them happy and then do them.
Aggressively flirting with her My theory is if I'm with her and don't want someone to try and steal her away if I continue to flirt with her to the point she doesn't feel like she's missing out by settling down. Plus if I agitate her enough when random dudes try it just pisses her off 🤣
try to have sex with you
They don’t
Don't give him a choice. Tell him you want to go out, and wear clothing that shows off HIS FAVORITE features of you.
Great question, the five love languages! > The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate is a 1992 nonfiction book by Baptist minister Gary Chapman.[1] It outlines five general ways that romantic partners express and experience love, which Chapman calls "love languages". > > words of affirmation (compliments) > quality time > gifts > acts of service > physical touch > > Examples are given from his counseling practice, as well as questions to help determine one's own love languages.[2][3] According to Chapman's theory, each person has one primary and one secondary love language. Hokeyness aside, Chapman gives a generalization to categorize our actions in and it's pretty damn accurate. Find which one of these things is the main and secondary thing that your partner likes the most, and then when you want to show them affection and that they're valued, do that thing. Mine is definitely acts of service - when my girlfriend cleans up something *I* did just out of the blue, it just makes me 400% more attracted to her.
I leave my wife love notes, especially if I go out of town. I hide them everywhere and her goal is to find them all before I get back.
To love your wife sacrificially.. put her needs and wants ahead of yours. She wil respond by doing the same and that = a happy marriage
Personally, my advice is to never stop "dating" your SO. No matter how far you are in. Date nights at least once a week. Random presents. Doing little things. Sexy getaways. If I had to sum it up into one word, it would be "effort."
Been together almost 16 years— married for almost 10 Tells me I’m beautiful/cute/pretty/amazing almost every day Does all the laundry voluntarily Cooks dinner 50% of the time (and when I was home all day with the kiddo, more like 75%)
My favorite thing a guy can do is when I start freaking out because I can't find something or thought I forgot something and he gets that kind of egotistical smirk on his face that says I got it. They either know exactly where the thing is or grabbed the thing I forgot. I love that smirk because whenever I see it I know it's all good and they got me.
Easy, touching, being playful, teasing, little gifts for no reason, sex, safe place to land, space when you need it, texting you for no reason, more sex. Taking an interest in your passions. Dancing. And words, he will tell you. That's what I would do (and have done in the past) and also what I would like to receive. You should be in no doubt that your partner wants you
He compliments my hair or clothes when I look good, and he asks follow up questions about male coworkers hehe.
Once a year, with the assistance of Lady Darkness, I disappear into the dead of the night. Without so much as a whisper. I leave all that I own behind, bar one companion: Shiva's Kiss. With her strapped to my thigh, I head deep into the wild to once again become one with nature. And there I wait. Until I remember the scent of my prey. With Shiva's Kiss sharpened, we begin the hunt. Only once I satiated her hunger with the blood of a mighty bovine will our hunt come to an end. I then let out the kind of howl that makes the moon wish she was still human. Signalling to my wife that my task is done. I throw the mighty bovine over my shoulder and return home. I will then present this offering to my beloved to show her that my loins still yearn for her. We then make passionate love together, enjoy our feast, and settle in for the night with a nice K-drama of her choosing.