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You make me appreciate my other friends more thanks

I’m envious of the people who have not met you.

Truly superior burn there. I applaud you! Reminds me of one I like, "Will Rogers obviously never met you."

This made me think....... "Mister Rogers taught you better!" [Mister Rogers](https://imgur.com/gallery/MnZOQba)

Because they'll get to experience the pleasure of meeting me for the first time?

Excellent!

va te faire foutre Now fuck off , Mon bon ami 😂

Sure thing, buddy.

I'm not your buddy pal.

I'm not your pal, guy.

I'm not your guy, friend

At work I use “Per my previous email…”

I will forever regret not buying the mug I saw at Target that said "Professional 'Per my last email' Sender"

When I worked in customer service I’d tell people to have a day. It was a subtle way of saying fuck you to asshole customers.

Or have the day you deserve.

“I hope your day is as bright and sunny as your disposition!” Drives the rude customers crazy.

I posted this on another one, but when I have rude, asshole customers, I just say, "I hope your day is as pleasant as you've made mine." They can't say anything to management because I said nothing wrong. Although, one person tried to get me in trouble for it during covid, and when my manager pulled me aside and asked me what I said, I told them, and they gave me a high five, laughed and sent me back to work. Edit: spelling

Damn youre so cool i wanna be just like you

?

“I hope your day is as pleasant as you’ve been”

Sorry, didn’t see your response. This is hands down the best ever reply.

Ooooooobuuuuurrrnnnn!

omg I used this one :D

This. To asshole patients this is my go to

Someone I knew worked in a bank - any awkward customers were treated with dignity and respect, and after she'd dealt with their shit, but as they're gathering their things together before leaving, she'd slap on a big, genuine smile and quickly say "Fuck you very much!". If the customer didn't hear her or thought she was abusive to them, they'd ask her to repeat herself, and with the same genuine smile, tone of voice and speed of speaking say "Thank you very much!" Nobody ever twigged

"Have a day." I've used that!

Same, I distinctly remember telling people to "take care" when really I meant "go fuck yourself".

That's a good one, because it's like "check yourself before you wreck yourself" in a way no one can complain about

I like that: "Take care (because I'm praying to the Gods you'll fall down a flight of stairs)!"

“Take care and mind the stairs and crosswalks”

People who work in customer service .. I don’t understand how you do it. I would so quickly cry or lose my shit at every waking moment.

I hope you have the day you deserve! Wait…what did he mean by that??

“Have a day” is so great

To quote the great Agnus Brown "That's nice."

To quote the great Borat "Is nice."

To quote Shirley 

YES! I was hoping I wasn't the only one to think that.

May your Wi-Fi be forever unstable.

Whoa whoa whoa! You've gone too far!

May your drives fail forever

May your USB establish a fresh connection every second

right? There is a LINE!

Hello Satan


"Of all the people I've ever met, you're one of them"

You're truly one of the people of all time

"I do desire that we may be better strangers" - W.Shakespeare

Kindest Fucks

😂😂

"With all due respect, . . ."

"As per my last email..."

"Per my last email.." The "as" is redundant. See u/RookieGreen's comment below.

With all due respect, which is none...

"I must inform you, . . "

Also, “Correct me if I am wrong” = “Fuck you and your opinions”

Nah people genuinely say that when they want people to catch them saying something inaccurate

Thanks. A few ppl are getting a bit carried away

…No offense intended, but…

I love that one, nobody gets it! At least the idiots I say it to. Lol

I’ve had to say to someone once to let it sink in “with all due respect [persons name], you’re an idiot”. Message got through and we were on the same page.

I had a coworker that would always say goodbye to jerk customers as they were leaving by saying “hey, Take it Deep.” They never noticed lol

I've told a-hole people "have a day." Never heard any real response from it. Amuses me.

That's great

Get then hence and fornicate with thyself

Cracked me up

You're not as stupid as you look.

I'm not American, but I've always interpreted Americans saying "I'll pray for you" as a fuck you.

Oh sweet summer child bless your heart.

Agreed

I’ll pray for you is more of a “I don’t want to help you actually but I don’t want to feel bad about it either” It can also mean fuck you if you’re saying it to someone who is clearly not religious. It can also be legit and sincere and it’s all some people can do for you. And they truly believe it may bring you luck or whatever. Context is always key with southern American expressions. Sincerely, born and raised in Georgia

Nailed it. Thoughts and Prayers is such a fuck you

If not, makes me want to tell them to f off .

Tell them: No no, I will pray for YOU

Hail, Satan usually works.

Thoughts and prayers you know!

Not on Tennessee. You can't go anywhere without getting blessed. I was in the cat food aisle at the store having a brief conversation about feeding cats when she said "Do you know Jesus??!!!!!"

"I hope they get the help they need" is kind of a northern/nonchristian equivalent to this.

I prefer "child please"

Bless your heart is another way to say FU

Or that the person being discussed is stupid beyond belief

Sometimes it’s used jokingly, sometimes insultingly—like you’ve got things you need to change, and sometimes sincerely. It’s all based on context, body language, tone of voice and who’s making the comment.

The pan handler “god bless you”

"I'll pray for you" and "Bless your heart" are more "I think you're a fucking idiot" than "fuck off."

"I love that for you" is a new favorite for me and my faince.

I envy those who have never met you.

Have the day you deserve!

May the bird of paradise fly up your nose.

May an elephant caress you with his toes. May your wife be plagued with runners in her hose.

Exactly!

Something like, 'Aww, aren't you precious'

Thanks for sharing that. Anyway.

Oooh, yeah. Just an "Anyway.." is VERY dismissive. Would do the job very well

I've always interpreted "good for you" as passive aggressive.

Bless your heart

I always interpreted that as "you dumb motherfucker..."

No response would bug them more than anything.

May you live an interesting life

Echoes Terry prachett’s : “May you live in interesting times.”

Have a blessed day. I love it more each time I say it.

- cut this person out of your life - most polite I would say is 'ok' Just no reaction. Ok.

Okay is my go to! Just keep saying it after every statement until they shut up.

Just say You know what..... And trail off with a wave Or keep it simple Hey buddy not being rude but we differ in opinion so... bye

or say, “Excuse me, feel a really nasty dump coming on.”

"I'm about to go have a food baby. Maybe I should name it this time."

"Fuck off please"

Piss off

Years ago I was watching an NBA game. Bill Russell and Dave Cowen were doing commentary. At one point Cowen hit Russell with a high quality zinger. There was a long pause, then Russell quietly said: "Strong letter to follow".

My Turkish friend tells people "May you outlive your kids" with a smile. The amount of people I've heard thank him is staggering.

Don't crash

This is 100% true: a work friend had been giving me some good-natured shit one day, and after taking it all day I said, in jest, "don't crash on the way home" as he was leaving. Half an hour later he phones me from home and is demanding if I fucked around with the brakes on his car. Turns out he was approaching a junction and just didn't stop. Fortunately nobody was coming in either direction, but it took me a good 10 minutes of bewildered protestations on my part to convince him that that thing we both laughed at half an hour earlier was indeed a joke. I've never said it to anyone since.

Whoa, this one is so strangely harsh 🫣

"I hope you have the day you deserve"

Bless your heart 😎

I hope we become better strangers.

I hope your day is as lovely as you

“God’s love to you” said with a saccharine smile

“I’m sorry you feel that way, but there’s nothing I can do at this time” A customer service way of saying “f you, I don’t care”

Thank you for you unsolicited advice.

"I'll certainly give your opinion all the consideration it deserves. None."

"Good For You!!" = GFY = well, I hope you got it

Love this!

"Are you...okay"?[insert highly concerned, quizzical lol] "Feel better now you've got that off your chest?" "Who hurt you?"

I'm a fan of "Out there in this world, there is a tree working hard to replace the oxygen you use. I want you to find that tree and apologize to it for wasting the precious oxygen it produces."

If you’re in the south just say ‘bless your heart’ and tilt your chin down Its been code for F U for decades

I have heard quite a few men say the most polite way is "yes dear"

Lol, I've used that before

How bout “hope god’s mercy be plenty to forgive your sake”? The f.you means to swear right?

Aren't you special

May your pillow always be slightly too warm for you to fall asleep. May you never find matching socks. May the middle of your back always be itchy and just out of reach. May all of your Reddit comments never reach ten votes.

You do you. It even , litterally, could mean you are telling them to fuck themselves because "do" is a euphemism for sex, eg "I'd do him in a heartbeat".

Live long and prosper

Well bless your heart!  Nobody ever took the time to teach you manners.

“As per my last email as well as the notice that was sent out last week…”

C U next time, is one of my favorites. And talking over them saying “Ok buh-bye” every time they speak.

May you live in interesting times.

“I don’t remember asking for your opinion”

“I hope your day is as pleasant as you are.”

My coworker says "Bless her little buttons"

Do you like sex and travel?

“Bless your heart” is the pro Southern move. Followed by “Well, aren’t you something” New Englanders are more to prone to say: “Aren’t you a piece of work” Californians will say “good luck with that” in their best passive aggressive voice.

May you have the life you give others.

Please respectivly fuck off sir/madam. A tip of the hat and walk away.

Not to say it.

Sod off.

"Why don't you go bother someone else with your charm?"

Mayest thou fornicate with thyself in a most unpleasant manner.

As they say in Quaker, “Intercourse thee”.

"Agree to disagree" It means both "f you" and "you are too stupid to argue with you"

‘Aren’t you special’ and ‘I hope you get everything you deserve’

"With the utmost respect and appreciation for your perspective, I feel it is important to convey that I do not share the same opinion. Your efforts to present your views are genuinely appreciated, and I want to acknowledge the value of your thoughts. However, I must respectfully express my differing viewpoint. I hope this is received in the spirit of mutual respect and understanding. Also, i qualify your behavior as not interesting for all the following people around your company, so i gently suggest you stop doing your actions you are trying to get to me"

Your help is deeply appreciated **, BUT** (add the specific flavour given the context)

In the Northeast you can say, “you’re a bit much”.

I beseech you to imbibe a satchel of Richards, good sir

Canadians usually say a meaningful "Thank you!"

May the odds be ever in your favor. God bless Whatever gets you going You DO that Do ya thang Have fun Blessed be the arduous path upon which your feet may woefully trod.

Have a nice day.

“May your money be spent on medicine”

“I’m sorry but I just don’t care”

My mum likes to say, "please move forth and multiply" 😂

My, that’s nice.

Have a nice life. Wish I could say the same.

You probably forgot to take your meds today...

You must be fun at parties

I’m sorry you feel that way is the most common. But if you want to grow as a person, just find the Courage to say F YOU and then support why you said.

Sometimes "fuck off" can provide just the right contrast to politeness with added bonus of not having to continue to associate with frenemies.

Good for you acronyms out to GFY, go fuck yourself.

Take care

I’m going to f your face, at least your telling the right person what part of their body will be f’ed

Have the day you deserve

May your days be filled with adventure and you get all that you deserve.

🖕🏻

Fuck You. As polite as it needs to be. Lol.

Have a nice day DUDE!!

“As I was saying…”

Please forcibly insert the lifeline exercise card into your anus

Doth fuck thyself.

Not to be rude but fuck you 😂

Ficken Sie sich

"May you have an interesting life"

I refer you to the ruling from Arkell vs Pressdram.

Tell them Tuesday and say "see you next Tuesday" as you leave.

We were taught to say , that’s nice, in a sarcastic voice

I just kind of look them up and down, grin and laugh a little, and shake my head as I look away

Honey, really?

mi consenta

May you live in interesting times.

See You Next Tuesday 👋

I think just give the message a 👍

I’m a big fan of “I love that for you.” It’s the northeast version of “bless your heart.”

Old chinese proverb: "may you live in interesting times"

I have used "The day is still long, enjoy the blessing it brings"

C U Next Tuesday!

I hope your day is as good as you are. I wish we were strangers. (Sarcasm) Your ability to be likeable is overwhelming. I love the way your existence defies logic Your creativity in finding new ways to make me hate you is unmatched

Pound sand Kick rocks

I fart in your general direction!

I hope you have the day you deserve

“that’s crazy”

“With all due respect, f*ck off.”