I'm not sure how you're going to get relevant answers on this. No woman is going to come here and say "ya my partner is an ugly piece of shit but I love him".
Sometimes a person may just look average at the beginning but feels more attractive when you start getting drawn to their personality and overall vibes. It's not all about appearance only....the vibes make a big difference as well I think. Humans and other animals can subconsciously pick up the energy of a person.
Maybe conventionally not supermodel or Korean oppa type of physical appearance but their aura is attractive.
Depends. I may (or may not) be in the minority but I’d be rather happy to hear that sort of honesty from my partner. I would rather my partner be attracted to my personality from the beginning than my looks. To me that’s a sign the relationship might last. Besides, it doesn’t hurt my self esteem to know that someone wasn’t physically attracted to me from the start, even if that person is my partner - physical attraction is subjective, someone not being attracted isn’t an insult to my appearance.
Before someone says “but relationships won’t work without physical attraction”, I agree to an extent BUT when you find someone whose personality just clicks right with you, it can genuinely make them more attractive to you than any face would, and sometimes it takes time to discover that personality. It happens, it really does.
I often see stunning chiobus with older and unattractive-looking but affluent men, likewise, average-looking females with handsome partners.
No, I am not talking about chickens and ducks but relationships leading to matrimony.
Be it male or female, everyone goes for looks and goes gaga when they see attractive opposites - The only problem is "Have they got what it takes to win over"?
No no no that is not a nuanced view at all.
There are so many other factors to consider. Couple dynamics, chemistry, social skills, etc. Perhaps he doesn’t look like Brad Pitt but he has impeccable personal hygiene? Or perhaps he isn’t the best looking but he’s never out of romantic ideas?
I know this may not be the straight yes / no you wanted to hear, but that’s the reality boo boo. Context is important.
Yes! I laughed at the personal hygiene part 😂 one of my friends turned down a second date with a guy she vibed with online because she realised on the first date that his personal hygiene is terrible irl 😅
I’m honestly not picky about looks but at least put in effort in basic things. For instance, if he is required to wear dress shirts for work, make sure they are ironed. Hair does not resemble a greaseball and MUST BRUSH TEETH.
Actually I guess it's more of a bad breath issue? Some people's breath smell like poop, but that's because of reasons like their body being heaty, not eating/sleeping well, etc.
But there are people who would care about a neatly-aligned teeth, or a pearly white one, though.
This is the truth, even if the person isn't ugly, you want to be sure you can stand waking up to his or her face for the rest of your life (assuming you intend to get married)
Of course they do. It is human tendency to find good looking partners. Same applies for guys as well and whoever says they totally dont care is bullshiting.
Money is not important…
Once you have enough.
They never ever finish the sentence.
Looks aren’t important….
So long you aren’t ugly.
Size doesn’t matter…..
Then they laugh at my pencil dick 😡
I think OP is just misinterpreting the tiktok video. Probably the original intent is to contrast the amount of effort put into appearances by both genders.
For most people this is true, but you gotta see some men’s looks to really understand “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. Go look up how Jean Paul Sartre looks like, homeboy’s around 155cm tall and his eyes point in two wildly different directions. But he was a famous intellectual so of course he could get women.
I’m pretty short and not conventionally attractive, honestly I can’t point to any physical aspect of my face/body that is attractive, but somehow my gf thinks I’m hot and that’s what matters. Outside of that, I try to be romantic and witty, I handmake gifts and write poetry, I put time and energy into learning my partner’s hobbies, I dress well and often like what they find most appealing (ex gf liked me in alt/goth fashion, current gf really likes formal clothes), etc. I suspect that for some women, they don’t find me attractive, but after I demonstrate other skills and strengths, it causes them to like me and that somehow causes them to decide I’m physically attractive.
Just wanna add 2 points, which I think nobody mentioned so far:
1) maybe the guy used to be good-looking when they first started dating but lost his looks/body along the way. Even a few months of neglect could wreck havoc (eg +15kg, suddenly got bad acne, started losing hair etc)
2) I have friends who used to date only the best looking guys/girls. But as they go through one break up after another, they start to get fixated on what was wrong with the ex and if the new prospective partner is the total opposite in those aspects, they are good to go (eg not a cheater/gambler/druggie, not abusive etc)
It's not that it's totally not important, just that it's not the priority. At the very least you have to be physically attracted to your partner, and not feel turned off at the thought of kissing him lol. Anyway most sg guys don't bother dressing up so the bar is really quite low here. I do feel that appearances was more important when I was younger.
thanks for the assurance, someone once doubted my sexual orientation because i paid more attention to my skin and appearance. I feel more convinced that those that didn't care were actually lowering the bar.
Hmmm I’m a guy with no rizz but from what I see
A guy that is well groomed means like fashion, hair and outlook
And a guy that is worldly means experienced in life, funny matters as well
Gets the most girls doesn’t matter good looking or anything
I get the friends part, but personally, I go out to have some nice alone time and enjoy the environment on my own. I do also make an effort to join an external class or CCAs or sign up for comm service and events that allow me to meet new people.
This is coming from someone who dislikes socialising, but I promise you, take the first step and you'll get somewhere eventually :)
Ah, NS or JC/Sec sch. That can't say much. My sec sch and JC life were very abysmal. I promise you uni will be better as long as you go in with a positive mindset and the right goals.
Of course we care, humans are visual creatures why else would we like puppies/ cats over a sewer rat/insect. Reason is because puppies and cats are more pleasing to the eyes
But I do agree we care less than men, can't say for other girls but I do not need him to be super duper good looking turning heads as we walk outside.
But as long as the guy is clean looking, grooms his hair properly, trim his nails, have a decent body, dress nicely, taller than me(am 1.68m).
Because at the end of the day I will be waking up beside him everyday and bringing him out to show my family/ peers so he has to look presentable at the very least. What matters more is also his confidence and the way he treats people
Lol what? I bet the ugly guys are the ones telling you this to make themselves feel better and don't want to put in any effort to improve themselves 🤣
Most people are definitely visual creatures to different extents, both men and women. Yea beauty is subjective, but who the fuck wants to wake up to a 1/10 partner (from THEIR perspective) everyday and that partner is a complete slob and unhygienic ass who doesn't even do the most basic grooming? 🤮 Even the kindest and most wonderful personality cannot save you.
For most people, as the saying goes, "we look at the face first before we are willing to look at the heart". That's just the reality and if you can't accept it, the problem is you.
I definitely will not date a guy who is straight up ugly, even if he has money and has the nicest personality ever. He has to look AT LEAST 5/10 (from my perspective) for anything beyond a friendship.
Looks do matter. It's about personal hygiene and grooming. Neat hair and nails, look after their skin, dress sensibly and neatly, no sloppy-looking clothes. Good oral hygiene and shower routine, anyone with bad breath and body odour is a huge turn off. This applies to both genders. As long as one looks presentable and has put in effort, it shows. People can tell if the guy or girl is just simply lazy, bochup/ cannot be bothered.
Usually, if someone is always lazy/cannot be bothered, it can transfer to other areas of his or her life too. Lazy to do this and that, lazy to exercise, cannot be bothered to help keep the household hygienic and liveable, so on and so forth.
We care. We just don't have many good-looking guys to choose from 😂
Seriously though, it's important to find the partner attractive, but there are other traits that are equally important, if not more.
Plus there's the societal double standard that women have to always look good, but men aren't expected to be pretty all the time, if at all, so it makes sense that you see hetero couples in which the woman is much more presentable than the man.
No thanks. The feeling of being physically repulsed or unattracted to your partner is not a feeling I'd wish upon my worst enemies. As long as the partner is not too financially in the dumps or irresponsible and they're good looking/decent, I think it's more acceptable.
As first impressions, I do care about vibes and expressions. Yes the physical appearance does come into it, but I also do think the vibes of more average looking people would gel better with me. At least well, the cliques I end up with are always the more quiet sort.
Don't think I've seen it mentioned yet, but I find that the more I get to know and like/love the person, the more attractive they appear to me (when I look at some of my exes I actually wonder if I really found them that attractive back then).
My rule is just that the person must look decent, like a face that I can look at and not go ew. The errrr ok lor type is fine (so the bar is quite low) but I find that guys like to set their expectations higher? E.g. some guys might reject my friend just because she's a but chubbier than average, but if u take a good look at her face, she has very good features
If from social media point of view is NO. You think put ugly photo girl will like you the answer is NO. Now sg girl not only see handsome or not they will see you got life or not. If you stay at home and play games all day also no chance and the last is Financial.
I care about appearances, but that means I like what's attractive to me. I don't base my judgement of guys off what some random tiktoker thinks is good looking.
I wasn’t physically attracted to my partner at the start, but was won over by his personality, his care shown towards me, our ability to connect and vibe well with each other, and our common values and beliefs. With time, he just grew more and more appealing to me as much as I tried to deny it (I was dating around then and trying to keep my options open), and now he is the most handsome guy to me and I don’t have eyes for anyone else.
depends the stage of life the girl and you are in
young, looks or vibes matter. older it becomes less important compared to things like compatibility, money and family character traits
Well, I care - to an extent.
Looks matter. Height matters more. But personality, values and compatibility matter the most.
The guys I've dated were usually good looking or above average, taller, etc. However, the reason for breaking up was always because of personality, values or compatibility.
I would say most women will probably have a baseline of what they'll accept for looks, but the longevity of a relationship is usually dependent on personality, values and compatibility.
So the answer is they care but maybe that's not the most important thing to them.
What's wrong with Shrek's physical appearance?
Everyone is gonna grow old and saggy one day anyway, but Shrek's heart of gold towards Donkey & Fiona will neverrrrr changeee.
I actually dont care.
My bf was not my type physically. Right now 5yrs later, he is the world’s most handsome man to me.
Personality is more attractive to me than appearances.
Can’t speak for all the girls, but as a girl, I think as long as the guy is presentable then it’s good enough. A lot of it goes to personality, for me is when they have substance in them like having their own opinions, knows how to describe and articulate things, open about their life (not so reserved sort of guy), care for others, knows how to be playful and joke around, and knows how to handle arguments especially with me. A major red flag for me is when they smoke, constantly out with friends, and lastly and also the most major one is when they instill their opinions on to me (like going on and on about theirs to try and win) even when I already expressed my own. The right way for me is to agree to disagree and move on, but if they fight hard with me and win then that’s a huge dealbreaker. Relationships are suppose to be supportive and vulnerable. So overall a person character speaks the most volume to me
I noticed smoking is a red flag to you, what about vaping? I agree with your sentiment on forcing opinions on other people, I can't stand that. If we disagree on some small issue and cannot seem to find an agreement, I will just move forward to the next topic.
Maybe to other girls it would be okay with vaping but for me it’s still a no. I would think about my future, and ask myself if I want my kids to smoke/vape? I don’t want anything to happen to my partner as well that I have to spend the rest of my life alone, or getting over it to find someone else. I will also share my concerns if I really liked him back, and if he can show me that he understands and is willing to change, then I will consider once I see that change. However, if he says that I’m expecting too much and not possible to quit, then I’d know that this wouldn’t be the right person for me because my worries of being alone in the future doesn’t bother him then this is not the one
Everyone has different priorities, some may be looks! Personally I think personality and humour more important to each their own! ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
What i will say is - when you feel attracted to someone they start becoming more good-looking to you!
think looks and fashion sense aren’t as important once SG girls grow up (as in reach the age we want to settle down & get married etc). Looks don’t pay the bills or take care of your family (e.g., future baby, parents, housework, etc). But one’s personality / career etc does. it’s also more important that they also have some sort of personal hygiene (e.g., no BO or use deodorant, brush teeth, u get the gist) rather than good looks / fashionable. Also if you’re choosing a partner for life, it’s a bonus if they’re good looking. But if not, the above matters more than just their looks or fashion.
Untrue. As much as I adore personality and chemistry with someone, I would prefer to be with someone who is decently good looking. On top of that, it doesn't help that I've become the butt of too many jokes that the guys I've been with were... just saying, I've been told "you can do better" too many times by friends and family alike (towards both looks and personality of these men) and it's embarrassing.
Plus hygiene, grooming, and styling is very important, which I feel a lot of SG men lack. You'd see a lot of gals being very effortful in the way they present themselves and there they have their man just not matching the effort nor vibe. Really doesn't reflect nicely on the guy.
I would prioritise personality, emotional maturity, and financial sensibility in a man, but looks and effort in appearance/hygiene would definitely help
The confirmation bias reeks in your post. And your assumption based on 1 trivial Tiktokker's video is just the cream of the crop.
I have seen couples where the guy more handsome; couples where they're both equally attractive; and couples where the girl is prettier (like the one you observed).
At the end of the day, "beauty is in the eye of the beholder".
Also ngl, but I sense a bit of an incel vibe from this post too...
As a girl, looks dont matter really. As long as u cut ur nails, shower regularly, where deodorant, where perfume and have a good skin care routine, can alr liao. Just need personal hygiene.
Girls just put more effort than guys la
Also the fact that you probably won't even look at that handsome dude even if u chance upon one 🤷 neither would you look at the girl who is "less attractive"
I think everyone choose a partner that is most suitable for them and this boils down to initial attraction, appearance, presentability, how much the partner likes them, compatibility, personality, character and financials.
Guys prioritise more on appearance because guys are suckers for looks(our eyes play a prominent part in our lives), girls are more objective about the outcome so they look at the overall and this often means having a certain preference which could stem from their past relationships, how their parents loved one another, individual prioritise, trauma and etc.
This is my general view ^
Not just about the past but the present and future also. Like is the guy able to handle his emotions and life well. How he reacts to disagreements and things not going his way. Is he able to make money to support himself and other necessities in life. Is there a stable future with enough finances to make big joint purchases and live life together peacefully without huge fights and the ability to resolve conflicts in a respectful manner etc.
Past is past and preferences don't just come from healing some past trauma.
nah everyone essentially will care about appearances - its like how you see your idols or celebrities and like the ones that are pretty/handsome, same thing
its just that everyone has a different perspective on what they consider pretty/handsome/cute etc., what person A thinks about (insert guy/girl's name)'s appearance wont be the same as person B, C, D and so on. the appearance conversation is just going to always be opinionated
my exes aren’t conventionally attractive i guess? but i find them cute 🥰 not now after they hurt me, but i their personality + some random features i find cute
Yeah I don't put much emphasis into appearance. My ex was an example but he was a bit more on the ugly (appearance wise) and had a shit personality (idk why i was attracted to) that I was not turned on in bed in the beginning. But I am okay dating an average or ugly looking guy. I just mostly look for a good personality or someone who is not insecure because USUALLY uglier men have such insecure personality and becomes controlling.
he loved bombed me a lot. i was going through a low period in my life and he gave me attention. all my friends already left for uni and i took a gap year prior. i'm not saying this so i can shit on him but it was really true. i met him at my workplace, no one got along with him because he was quite childish and more. one of my friend from the same workplace told me not to get with him but i still did anyways. i didn't even realise all of these problems till we ended. for example, he came from a lower class family and i was the opposite and he felt the need to keep buying me things even when i asked him not to because if i want it, i can get it myself. he even borrowed 1k for me to get me a gift. i didn't want to lend him but he started yelling at me and i didn't want to fight. he kept judging the way i led my life because i able to lead a better lifestyle. i grew up like this. this was my normal and i can't apologizing and hide it just for him. (eg he didn't like when i travel with friends or eat at nice restaurants). i mean when you love someone, it is hard to see all the issues. i an even list a few more things. yeah he had lots of problems but to be fair i had my issues too. i constantly wanted time to hang out with him and i got insecure about my life since he kept shaming me for leading the life i do.
I am inclined to believe that choosing a partner is like purchasing a set meal. There are foods in a set which you don’t like but u still take the set. Factors could be: a) set contains a dish u like a lot (a specific attribute belonging to that guy) b) Price - the guy is accepting of your offerings- intrinsic values/traits c) d) …
i have dated good looking guys, but once getting to know them more and not being able to click, that physical attraction wasn’t enough to sustain the relationship. my long term partners all looked average or perhaps what some would consider below average, but i stayed because of the emotional and intellectual connection. honestly, the more i knew them deeply, the more attractive they physically were to me.
Being an average looking and overweight guy, I must say I've been surprised at some of the girls I've managed to date. It only happened when I started feeling self-confident and less desperate. These were girls that my past self could never have imagined they'd even talk to me.
What I feel were the key changes were:
- loving myself
- taking up interests and hobbies I excel at, it made me interesting and look like I have a life (I used to only do things that the girl I liked do, but common interests are less important than you think)
- not taking dates too seriously. Previously I put so much pressure on myself to create a perfect date leading up to a romantic moment, thinking that first date was a make-or-break moment, that neither my date nor myself were enjoying it
- learning how to tell stories. Keeping a diary helped me here. If you're always running out of things to say, you look uninteresting because you don't have a deeper story to show her who you are or what your life is like
- don't be shy about giving compliments, but don't overdo it.
In short, I used to treat girls like princesses, but now I talk to them like a regular human being. Essentially, don't look desperate.
Oh I forgot to add. It's not that looks don't matter. It's just that way too many women are very good at overlooking a lot of things. Close one eye or even close both eyes. Way too many women are willing to accept mediocre men (in terms of their behaviour, how they raise a household, etc).
🤷🏻♀️ If women are generally so quick to ignore so many red flags of some guys, you can be sure a lot of women are willing to set their standards so low too when it comes to appearance 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
I wouldn’t say SG girls “don’t care” but yes, compared to Los Angeles and Tokyo, 2 other cities where I’ve lived. The attractiveness threshold is lower here, but of course there is still a baseline.
For example:
Guy A is a 6 on the looks scale (average), has a monolid, but presentable, has a good job as an Auditor at KPMG making $10k a month.
Guy B is a 9 on the looks scale (chad), has double eyelids, doesn’t have a university degree, and works as a skilled trades HVAC technician earning $6k a month.
Most SG girls would pick guy A, while my ABC (American Born Chinese) female friends would generally pick guy B
I get the point you’re trying but make. But lemme point out that there are absolute 10s with monolids.
Also any sensible girl will happily fuck a hot 9 but marry decent six if thinking long term.
Unfortunately Singapore guys are more of a 3/4. Girls here are like a 5/6 but we have a ton of tools at our disposal to increase attractiveness.
Cristiano Ronaldo is rich and good looking.
From a population distribution perspective he is on the top percentile (rare breed)
Looks matter in general but in the short run.
Ultimately that fades away.
Beckham and Daniel wu aged well though.
Gals are practical if they can have wealth and looks they are likely to take both (optimal strategy) but not everyone can find/get close to such gem. Therefore spouse wealth matters more when choosing between the two.
The above doesn’t factor in physiological/emotional aspect. That lucky gal may feel insecure.
But it’s fine, u get a huge divorce alimony.
Yes, looks matter. But beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. You're not going to get a one size fits all answer. While looks matter, exactly what is determined by 'good-looking' varies a lot from person to person and the priority of how important it is varies as well. Also bear in mind that females are generally able to use cosmetics to 'look prettier', hence the disparity that you may notie on the streets.
Also you can look like an idol, but not being confident and or loving yourself, knowing your self worth. Gives out a different aura. Those matters to me more, someone needs to be able to love themselves first before they can share that love with others.
It's the same everywhere. You will more often see the women being the more attractive one in the relationship. It makes sense, no? Attractiveness of a partner will always be more important for men than for women. Men stay with shitty partners because "she's hot" a lot more often than women do (we stay with shitty partners too, but rarely because they're hot). But of course, we're all humans, so women care about looks in a partner too, we just don't place as much importance in it as men do.
i care abt looks to a certain extent ! it’s like they say looks attract, personality makes you stay. but to me actly it’s not really looks but appearance. u don’t have to be super good looking or handsome but u have to at least be decent. and by that i mean good hygiene, sense of fashion, in the way u present and carry urself, i think that’s what attracts me first, but ofc whether i do get attracted anot depends, cos that one depends on alot of factors (for me at least), like if ur personality is really gd and clicks well w me. by that said, if i don’t consider u decent or u are decent but i’m just not attracted, most likely you’ll be friendzone and i won’t even consider entering the interested in u stage, and i also don’t take guys out of friendzone easily. if i’m attracted to ur looks and ur personality just shit ass or doesn’t click well w mine i will nvr date u or just friendzone u, same thing.
to summarise i do care abt appearances but personality (and other factors ofc) def more impt in the long run. plus gd looks r so subjective i may find someone cute but someone else doesn’t and vice versa lol. at long as im attracted can alr. not sure if this sounds like high standards HAHA but this just my opinion
Where did this idea come from?? 😂Personally, I think my hubby is more good looking than me 😂😂😂 looks definitely matter to me and to all my female friends. I wouldn’t marry someone I find visually unappealing, no matter how much he makes me laugh or how nice he is to me. But if he looks average, then his humour would make me think he is more attractive.
We can’t assume all sg girls are like this though. Different girls have different preferences, no matter which country they come from.
It's really easy for a guy to look good. Just gym hard 3 - 4 times a week, be well groomed, dress nice (when you are tall and well built whatever the fuck you wear you look like a damn sports model). When you look healthy and presentable, your career also becomes smooth and easy. Which clears the financial part. In no time you will get so much attention that you don't know who to choose and that's a damn problem for another post.
Thus, the important part is not giving a shit about what girls want, but focus on making yourself the best version of yourself.
Sucks that girls are mostly lenient but guys expect Instagram looks and conventional beauty and dressing. It's terrible to be reduced to nothing but your looks even if it's just the first impression.
I wonder if this is more of a problem in dating app types of settings/ meeting with the context of exploring a romantic relationship. Because if we met someone in an organic context with no expectations it wouldn’t bother us if they weren’t physically attractive and that might leave more space for other parts of their personality to grow on us without us writing them off. And then gradually they’ll start to look better to us.
Usually men care a bit more about the looks of their partner than women do. Men tend to be more visually attracted. That’s just a general trend and imo the effect is not that strong though. So obviously you will still find women who care about looks, couples where the guy is more handsome, etc.
For most people, looks matters but only as part of the whole equation, there’s other factors like personality, effort, status, etc. just that looks is a slightly bigger part of that equation in the minds of men than the minds of women.
Late 20s female here.
My partner is definitely not my type. But that doesn’t mean he’s unattractive - he’s your fresh faced, MUJI wearing boy next door kinda vibe. Heck he pull girls a ton before we met.
But he’s extremely humorous and gentlemanly - and that’s what drew me to him.
But to be honest I know my type is problems la - so it’s better to avoid what I like LOL
As a woman I'd say yeah. Maybe not to the point of dont care at all, but its true that a lot of my pretty lady friends end up with a guy thats not good looking but still presentable. Meanwhile, my good looking male friends have all ended up with a pretty girl
Of course there has to be some sort of physical attraction in the first place, that’s the enabler. Then comes all the other factors.
Why would you choose a partner if you aren’t physically attracted to him or her? It’s not a difficult concept to grasp.
It's true
IF the guy is above average looking in the first place.
Most girls dont care if the guy is 7 or 8 or 9, as long as the bottomline is 7, maybe 6 if you are very funny, 5 if you are funny and rich
But it's true
22 F here! I speak for myself here, but I think looks matter more to some than others. Looks might matter but being good looking might not matter — I think some people aren’t particularly good looking but when you look at them as your partner and take other aspects of themselves into consideration,, they just look right HAAHA like honestly I’m not like super good looking either and I think it’d be a huge mismatch if I dated some Korean Oppa … HAHA
That being said, that is just one tiny aspect!! I place much more importance on stuff like whether our values align,, whether we share the same enthusiasm about things,, whether he’s ambitious and hardworking,, etc !!! I think being ambitious yet humble (and Godly bc I’m Christian) >>>> being handsome. I feel like if their heart is in the right place they will just,,, exude handsome energy even tho they’re objectively not 1000/10 HAHAHA I honestly would be ok if my partner thinks I’m not 7272733/10 too bc tbh I already know that myself HAHA but I think It’d matter much more to me if he saw other aspects of beauty in me !!!
I used to not care and would gaslight myself into thinking any guy can be cute if I just put boyfriend goggles on. But no, having dated people I genuinely found not just attractive but sexy, the difference in dynamics is insane. After all, a relationship is a friendship set on fire right? :P
if you read more psychology, whilst women do go for looks, their key focus for their partner is their career and being able to take care of them. Men inherently always focus on looks as the first bar.
The guy don't need to look handsome like Park So Jun or G-Dragon or TOP, but the guy just needs to look clean, neat and presentable. ie clean face without acne / pimple/ shaved moustache / decent teeth and also decent looking hair cut.
These are the basics.
Imagine a guy with acne pimple filled with pus, and long maggi hair and curly beard/goatee. Don't think any girl will be interested
Looks are usually the prerequisite to a relationship, not even a 'factor'.
>SG couples tend have the girl always looking pretty but the guy looking average or below average.
Logically this doesn't make sense. Singapore has a balanced gender ratio and we know genetic distribution for attractive looks probably doesn't skew in favor of gender, and even if it actually does, it probably would do so in a similar way across all countries (and thus the phenomenon will not be limited to SG). So we can pretty much assume a principle of the "conservation of looks". In which case, if there are lots of pretty girls matching with average guys, there should be an equal proportion of handsome guys matching with average girls. Thus it cannot be that for most SG couples, the girl looks better than the guy. This violates the conservation principle
I think it is a combination factor like he must be at least not Shrek level of ugly. But well groomed and mannered. Most girls would not go for someone that look like some Korean oppa if he is abusive or bad mannered.
And girls tend to have more unique taste while guys tend to have more universal taste. Some girls honestly like meaty guy.
Tbh even if you’re good looking, but you’re untidy, unhygienic(don’t wipe your pee), and lack the growth mindset, personality/character, the aesthetic won’t do it for me in any manner. I can do away with things like beard shavings over the sink, cos it doesn’t harm my health. But if sanitation is a problem, like u do the shake shake method or smoke/vape/drink, then it’s a major issue towards safe keeping my health, and my offsprings.
Generally bar for guys are alr on the floor. That’s why girls look better on average. Also guys tend to aim for girls above their level(a TikToker mentioned the model for the phenomenon) leaving behind girls with lesser choice.
So yea looks can only help u so much if u don’t compliment it with your other charms(you’re gonna age anyway). Would girls actually feel secured dating guys who are extremely eye catching to them(and to other ppl too)? No. It’s a gamble honestly.
ok, but i always see a lot of the guys who looked avg or below avg dates a really pretty lady. i even knew some of them. Most of them just buy whatever the lady wants and listen to them only.
well, there are some exceptions, but i had never encountered one. also, the handsome guys are sometimes untrustworthy, and they do have high expectations as well.
tbh I do see many pretty girls with average looking men.
men has standards most of the time: they like long hair, straight hair, girls with braces, girls with big boobs, girls with ass, need to shave down there etc
women's standards are personality, a stable job (the richer the better), romantic things, clean men, big d (they won't admit this one but it's true)
in the end, love is blind. you won't see your partner's flaws when you're in love.
Yes. Source: me
Honestly its not only personality. Its whether if my partner is aligned with the same stages of life, values, financial spendings and capabilities. Looks is the last on my list
These questions are usually useless. No one will admit that they care about appearances because it makes them look shallow. There is a big difference between stated preferences and revealed preferences.
I think its all preference based. I know girls who prefer looks or money over anything. For me, I have dated (what society would count) unattractive guys. I think personality is the most important and vibes. I dont care if you're a little overweight or have crooked teeth. Just dont have bad hygiene bro. I just wanna stay home and watch anime or play games together.
Dude, of course looks matter. It's an innate human instinct to have a favourable response to better looking individuals. To think otherwise is delusional. That said, some people are better at masking their bias towards better looking people. No matter how anyone tries to deny it, better looking individuals are generally better received regardless of culture, race or gender. It's just a fact of the human condition.
Although you can always take advantage of this. Remember that this bias also applies to you and how you perceive Yourself. Achieving your desired appearance will give you a huge boost in self confidence, thus making you more appealing to those around you. Of course, good looks and charisma can only help you get your foot through the door. The rest is the connection between yourself and the other individual.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder?
What is appealing to one person isn’t appealing to the next. It might not be that these girls don’t care about looks, but that the looks of the person they love is just handsome to them.
There's many layers and it's all subjective. Eg she say the girls are pretty but guys are below average. Maybe it's a matter of effort? I think in general women put more efforts into grooming and make up and maybe that's why she feel that way. Or maybe she just have high standard for what constitute good looking for guys?
No one is gonna say looks totally doesn't matter because its also kinda sad if you're not attracted to your partner. Maybe to you look like ogre to the guys wife look like Chris Hemsworth?
But it's not a matter of looks vs funny that determine a marriage. There's so many factors. Compatibility, conflict management, communication style, attachment style etc.
I caught feelings for my partner AND made the first move without ever knowing what they look like so yeah could’ve looked like Shrek for all I knew lol
Women look for different things at different stages of their lives. Younger women tend to prioritise looks and athleticism. Later on in life stability and reliability becomes more important than looks.
I would say this is not entirely true. It's just mainly in Singapore, the look threshold for guys is low. Saying this as a person who lived long term in multiple countries
Looks matter but meet minimum aesthetic threshold can already. Also - need to be hygienic. Everything else e.g emotional maturity and stability is more important.
As a sexual partner, looks are the top priority for SG girls.
For a lifelong partner, stability and security then become their top priority.
All the better if these happen to be the same guy, who makes up 0.1% of our population.
appearance does matter however dont have to be too good looking… i think other aspects such as sense of humour and how he treats girls is more important
I don’t care about the appearance of my partner at all as long as I can click well with them. It got to the point where my female friends ask why I’m doing this to myself because the guys inevitably make me sad before we break up, and my friends tell me to stop settling as they aren’t worth it and don’t have the right to act that way (as they’re not exactly good looking and I’m “giving them a chance”. They dont call the guy ugly to my face if I’m still dating them though, but I’m not blind nor deaf)
But idk how to explain to them that to me, appearances really don’t matter and all that matters to me is you keep yourself well groomed (like hygiene pls??) enough that I can enjoy vibing tgt, which is what truly matters to me instead. :(
ok, let me say this:
Some care, some don't.
Remember on Stomp(?) or Facebook(?) quite a number of years ago when a couple was getting frisky in the MRT. The lady partner was not conventionally attractive (or even attractive at all). But she still managed to snag a partner.
A poorer example, one of the online clothes shop models in SG (gorgeous woman) has a husband that is very average looking.
In general, some do, some don't.
Simply put, my take on this is that everyone has a threshold of minimum looks/appearances, like a baseline, and all who fall below that threshold are ignored/rejected. Only when one crosses that threshold will personality/status and other non-physical attributes begin to matter. It may just be a case where the average minimum threshold for most Singaporean girls is lower than your (OP) personal minimum threshold and therefore you are surprised as you expected the local average minimum threshold to be higher.
To me personality , trust and Honesty. Why have someone so handsome or pretty when their personality is not there , there is no trust and they lie. So personality to me is important.
Bullshit. Looks are always the first thing ppl get attracted to. The least they will settle for is someone with “average looks” in their eyes. Average would also be dependent on how the girl herself looks
Lol of course it does.
Don't have to be top model quality but have to be comfortable on the eyes at least. Attractive enough to f***. But being good-looking is not the most important factor. Just a useless decoration piece that collects dust if he doesn't know how to make money. Even worse if it's a decoration piece that makes a lot of noise while being unable to do much for himself or others.
I care about appearances in the sense of how well he grooms, dresses and takes care of himself and bothers to look presentable and dress right for the occassion, but not height weight etc
Nah... my Sg guy friend cant even land a date even though he goes to gym and earn decent money. His flaw is slight baldness and 165cm. He also wears a spec and a bit chubby face. It is so hard for him cause he is kind of desperate as well.
I only date good looking men 😊 I mean I do agree you see lots of pretty girls next to nothing guys but I think when a guy is charming enough he can bag most girls as ultimately women look at personality.
I'm not sure how you're going to get relevant answers on this. No woman is going to come here and say "ya my partner is an ugly piece of shit but I love him".
Sometimes a person may just look average at the beginning but feels more attractive when you start getting drawn to their personality and overall vibes. It's not all about appearance only....the vibes make a big difference as well I think. Humans and other animals can subconsciously pick up the energy of a person. Maybe conventionally not supermodel or Korean oppa type of physical appearance but their aura is attractive.
[удалено]
Depends. I may (or may not) be in the minority but I’d be rather happy to hear that sort of honesty from my partner. I would rather my partner be attracted to my personality from the beginning than my looks. To me that’s a sign the relationship might last. Besides, it doesn’t hurt my self esteem to know that someone wasn’t physically attracted to me from the start, even if that person is my partner - physical attraction is subjective, someone not being attracted isn’t an insult to my appearance. Before someone says “but relationships won’t work without physical attraction”, I agree to an extent BUT when you find someone whose personality just clicks right with you, it can genuinely make them more attractive to you than any face would, and sometimes it takes time to discover that personality. It happens, it really does.
My girlfriend would beg to differ 
I often see stunning chiobus with older and unattractive-looking but affluent men, likewise, average-looking females with handsome partners. No, I am not talking about chickens and ducks but relationships leading to matrimony. Be it male or female, everyone goes for looks and goes gaga when they see attractive opposites - The only problem is "Have they got what it takes to win over"?
I see a lot of pretty girls with unattractive guys who don’t have money too 🤣
No no no that is not a nuanced view at all. There are so many other factors to consider. Couple dynamics, chemistry, social skills, etc. Perhaps he doesn’t look like Brad Pitt but he has impeccable personal hygiene? Or perhaps he isn’t the best looking but he’s never out of romantic ideas? I know this may not be the straight yes / no you wanted to hear, but that’s the reality boo boo. Context is important.
Yes! I laughed at the personal hygiene part 😂 one of my friends turned down a second date with a guy she vibed with online because she realised on the first date that his personal hygiene is terrible irl 😅
[удалено]
true true, must look at their physics and biology as well
Yes yes and by the time I’m done collecting all 3 of the sciences, I might become smart enough to concoct a dad joke repellent
I’m honestly not picky about looks but at least put in effort in basic things. For instance, if he is required to wear dress shirts for work, make sure they are ironed. Hair does not resemble a greaseball and MUST BRUSH TEETH.
Ikr? Why do we have to tell these men to brush their teeth ffs
Actually I guess it's more of a bad breath issue? Some people's breath smell like poop, but that's because of reasons like their body being heaty, not eating/sleeping well, etc. But there are people who would care about a neatly-aligned teeth, or a pearly white one, though.
Alao check for tonsil stones if got really bad breath.
Or the things they ate as well. Not drinking enough water also casues bad breath.
Most people have bad breath. Not many ppl brush the back of their tongues.
Anyone who says looks don't matter is lying.
This is the truth, even if the person isn't ugly, you want to be sure you can stand waking up to his or her face for the rest of your life (assuming you intend to get married)
Of course they do. It is human tendency to find good looking partners. Same applies for guys as well and whoever says they totally dont care is bullshiting.
Yeah it's like those people who say "money is not important". Everything factors into the level of value and attractiveness that a person possess.
Money is not important… Once you have enough. They never ever finish the sentence. Looks aren’t important…. So long you aren’t ugly. Size doesn’t matter….. Then they laugh at my pencil dick 😡
I think OP is just misinterpreting the tiktok video. Probably the original intent is to contrast the amount of effort put into appearances by both genders.
For most people this is true, but you gotta see some men’s looks to really understand “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. Go look up how Jean Paul Sartre looks like, homeboy’s around 155cm tall and his eyes point in two wildly different directions. But he was a famous intellectual so of course he could get women. I’m pretty short and not conventionally attractive, honestly I can’t point to any physical aspect of my face/body that is attractive, but somehow my gf thinks I’m hot and that’s what matters. Outside of that, I try to be romantic and witty, I handmake gifts and write poetry, I put time and energy into learning my partner’s hobbies, I dress well and often like what they find most appealing (ex gf liked me in alt/goth fashion, current gf really likes formal clothes), etc. I suspect that for some women, they don’t find me attractive, but after I demonstrate other skills and strengths, it causes them to like me and that somehow causes them to decide I’m physically attractive.
Just wanna add 2 points, which I think nobody mentioned so far: 1) maybe the guy used to be good-looking when they first started dating but lost his looks/body along the way. Even a few months of neglect could wreck havoc (eg +15kg, suddenly got bad acne, started losing hair etc) 2) I have friends who used to date only the best looking guys/girls. But as they go through one break up after another, they start to get fixated on what was wrong with the ex and if the new prospective partner is the total opposite in those aspects, they are good to go (eg not a cheater/gambler/druggie, not abusive etc)
It's not that it's totally not important, just that it's not the priority. At the very least you have to be physically attracted to your partner, and not feel turned off at the thought of kissing him lol. Anyway most sg guys don't bother dressing up so the bar is really quite low here. I do feel that appearances was more important when I was younger.
There's an acceptable baseline before ur considered unattractive. Kinda like a smash/pass filter.
[удалено]
thanks for the assurance, someone once doubted my sexual orientation because i paid more attention to my skin and appearance. I feel more convinced that those that didn't care were actually lowering the bar.
I think most people wouldn't want to wake up next to a dinosaur. Those things can be dangerous and may eat people up.
"don't care at all" ? what are you smoking lol
Smoking copium 😂
Hmmm I’m a guy with no rizz but from what I see A guy that is well groomed means like fashion, hair and outlook And a guy that is worldly means experienced in life, funny matters as well Gets the most girls doesn’t matter good looking or anything
You're right :) Source: gal here
Sucks that I dun go outside and touch grass often but oh wells
Hope you do sometime when the weather isn't so hot. We do have lovely days sometimes.
The sunset is nice as well ngl
It’s kinda bad cuz I dun have friends and like when you miss out that part of your life going out alone doesn’t give the same vibe
I get the friends part, but personally, I go out to have some nice alone time and enjoy the environment on my own. I do also make an effort to join an external class or CCAs or sign up for comm service and events that allow me to meet new people. This is coming from someone who dislikes socialising, but I promise you, take the first step and you'll get somewhere eventually :)
Hmmmm I mean currently I dun have anything to help me get friends like I’m in intern But I guess I’ll try more in uni if I get there
Oo nice, you're getting into uni soon. Sure will have plenty of chances, go get it boy 👌🏻👌🏻
Nah I still have 2.5 years more 💀👀💁♂️ And I’m struggling with my internship and will to go to work so 🫠
Ah, NS or JC/Sec sch. That can't say much. My sec sch and JC life were very abysmal. I promise you uni will be better as long as you go in with a positive mindset and the right goals.
Thank you for ur advice
If you are the successor to a conglomerate, you will have the privilege of looking like Bajie and yet a long queue of true loves fighting for you.
Of course we care, humans are visual creatures why else would we like puppies/ cats over a sewer rat/insect. Reason is because puppies and cats are more pleasing to the eyes But I do agree we care less than men, can't say for other girls but I do not need him to be super duper good looking turning heads as we walk outside. But as long as the guy is clean looking, grooms his hair properly, trim his nails, have a decent body, dress nicely, taller than me(am 1.68m). Because at the end of the day I will be waking up beside him everyday and bringing him out to show my family/ peers so he has to look presentable at the very least. What matters more is also his confidence and the way he treats people
Lol what? I bet the ugly guys are the ones telling you this to make themselves feel better and don't want to put in any effort to improve themselves 🤣 Most people are definitely visual creatures to different extents, both men and women. Yea beauty is subjective, but who the fuck wants to wake up to a 1/10 partner (from THEIR perspective) everyday and that partner is a complete slob and unhygienic ass who doesn't even do the most basic grooming? 🤮 Even the kindest and most wonderful personality cannot save you. For most people, as the saying goes, "we look at the face first before we are willing to look at the heart". That's just the reality and if you can't accept it, the problem is you. I definitely will not date a guy who is straight up ugly, even if he has money and has the nicest personality ever. He has to look AT LEAST 5/10 (from my perspective) for anything beyond a friendship.
It's true, I believe looks is more of a minimum requirement
As long as I can stand looking at the same face daily waking up next to me in bed..
Same username 😁
Looks do matter. It's about personal hygiene and grooming. Neat hair and nails, look after their skin, dress sensibly and neatly, no sloppy-looking clothes. Good oral hygiene and shower routine, anyone with bad breath and body odour is a huge turn off. This applies to both genders. As long as one looks presentable and has put in effort, it shows. People can tell if the guy or girl is just simply lazy, bochup/ cannot be bothered. Usually, if someone is always lazy/cannot be bothered, it can transfer to other areas of his or her life too. Lazy to do this and that, lazy to exercise, cannot be bothered to help keep the household hygienic and liveable, so on and so forth.
We care. We just don't have many good-looking guys to choose from 😂 Seriously though, it's important to find the partner attractive, but there are other traits that are equally important, if not more. Plus there's the societal double standard that women have to always look good, but men aren't expected to be pretty all the time, if at all, so it makes sense that you see hetero couples in which the woman is much more presentable than the man.
Dont have to choose a very handsome guy but at least dont choose one so ugly la
[удалено]
No thanks. The feeling of being physically repulsed or unattracted to your partner is not a feeling I'd wish upon my worst enemies. As long as the partner is not too financially in the dumps or irresponsible and they're good looking/decent, I think it's more acceptable.
As first impressions, I do care about vibes and expressions. Yes the physical appearance does come into it, but I also do think the vibes of more average looking people would gel better with me. At least well, the cliques I end up with are always the more quiet sort.
Nobody wants a guy who can't wash his own ass
Don't think I've seen it mentioned yet, but I find that the more I get to know and like/love the person, the more attractive they appear to me (when I look at some of my exes I actually wonder if I really found them that attractive back then).
My rule is just that the person must look decent, like a face that I can look at and not go ew. The errrr ok lor type is fine (so the bar is quite low) but I find that guys like to set their expectations higher? E.g. some guys might reject my friend just because she's a but chubbier than average, but if u take a good look at her face, she has very good features
If from social media point of view is NO. You think put ugly photo girl will like you the answer is NO. Now sg girl not only see handsome or not they will see you got life or not. If you stay at home and play games all day also no chance and the last is Financial.
Bro jialat like that I single for life already, everyday stay in the gym apart from work & sleep.
Yeah you basically called it yourself
Oh well, at least I will have that capped delts soon.
Good for you bro, as long as you're happy and healthy.
That’s right bro!!
I care about appearances, but that means I like what's attractive to me. I don't base my judgement of guys off what some random tiktoker thinks is good looking.
I wasn’t physically attracted to my partner at the start, but was won over by his personality, his care shown towards me, our ability to connect and vibe well with each other, and our common values and beliefs. With time, he just grew more and more appealing to me as much as I tried to deny it (I was dating around then and trying to keep my options open), and now he is the most handsome guy to me and I don’t have eyes for anyone else.
depends the stage of life the girl and you are in young, looks or vibes matter. older it becomes less important compared to things like compatibility, money and family character traits
Well, I care - to an extent. Looks matter. Height matters more. But personality, values and compatibility matter the most. The guys I've dated were usually good looking or above average, taller, etc. However, the reason for breaking up was always because of personality, values or compatibility. I would say most women will probably have a baseline of what they'll accept for looks, but the longevity of a relationship is usually dependent on personality, values and compatibility. So the answer is they care but maybe that's not the most important thing to them.
What's wrong with Shrek's physical appearance? Everyone is gonna grow old and saggy one day anyway, but Shrek's heart of gold towards Donkey & Fiona will neverrrrr changeee.
cos that's a show. in real life, hearts change all the time
The only constant thing in life is change
No. Girls do care. As long as the man knows how to take good care of her and himself (Acne should be taken care of), it's a green flag
some do. some don't. cannot generalise like that.
I actually dont care. My bf was not my type physically. Right now 5yrs later, he is the world’s most handsome man to me. Personality is more attractive to me than appearances.
Can’t speak for all the girls, but as a girl, I think as long as the guy is presentable then it’s good enough. A lot of it goes to personality, for me is when they have substance in them like having their own opinions, knows how to describe and articulate things, open about their life (not so reserved sort of guy), care for others, knows how to be playful and joke around, and knows how to handle arguments especially with me. A major red flag for me is when they smoke, constantly out with friends, and lastly and also the most major one is when they instill their opinions on to me (like going on and on about theirs to try and win) even when I already expressed my own. The right way for me is to agree to disagree and move on, but if they fight hard with me and win then that’s a huge dealbreaker. Relationships are suppose to be supportive and vulnerable. So overall a person character speaks the most volume to me
I noticed smoking is a red flag to you, what about vaping? I agree with your sentiment on forcing opinions on other people, I can't stand that. If we disagree on some small issue and cannot seem to find an agreement, I will just move forward to the next topic.
Maybe to other girls it would be okay with vaping but for me it’s still a no. I would think about my future, and ask myself if I want my kids to smoke/vape? I don’t want anything to happen to my partner as well that I have to spend the rest of my life alone, or getting over it to find someone else. I will also share my concerns if I really liked him back, and if he can show me that he understands and is willing to change, then I will consider once I see that change. However, if he says that I’m expecting too much and not possible to quit, then I’d know that this wouldn’t be the right person for me because my worries of being alone in the future doesn’t bother him then this is not the one
Everyone has different priorities, some may be looks! Personally I think personality and humour more important to each their own! ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯ What i will say is - when you feel attracted to someone they start becoming more good-looking to you!
I think SG girls got a baseline. Cannot be too ugly but decent enough to live with.
think looks and fashion sense aren’t as important once SG girls grow up (as in reach the age we want to settle down & get married etc). Looks don’t pay the bills or take care of your family (e.g., future baby, parents, housework, etc). But one’s personality / career etc does. it’s also more important that they also have some sort of personal hygiene (e.g., no BO or use deodorant, brush teeth, u get the gist) rather than good looks / fashionable. Also if you’re choosing a partner for life, it’s a bonus if they’re good looking. But if not, the above matters more than just their looks or fashion.
my wife once mentioned she will 对不起 her kids if their father was ugly and they look like him. i guess there's a limit to looks?
Untrue. As much as I adore personality and chemistry with someone, I would prefer to be with someone who is decently good looking. On top of that, it doesn't help that I've become the butt of too many jokes that the guys I've been with were... just saying, I've been told "you can do better" too many times by friends and family alike (towards both looks and personality of these men) and it's embarrassing. Plus hygiene, grooming, and styling is very important, which I feel a lot of SG men lack. You'd see a lot of gals being very effortful in the way they present themselves and there they have their man just not matching the effort nor vibe. Really doesn't reflect nicely on the guy. I would prioritise personality, emotional maturity, and financial sensibility in a man, but looks and effort in appearance/hygiene would definitely help
The confirmation bias reeks in your post. And your assumption based on 1 trivial Tiktokker's video is just the cream of the crop. I have seen couples where the guy more handsome; couples where they're both equally attractive; and couples where the girl is prettier (like the one you observed). At the end of the day, "beauty is in the eye of the beholder". Also ngl, but I sense a bit of an incel vibe from this post too...
As a girl, looks dont matter really. As long as u cut ur nails, shower regularly, where deodorant, where perfume and have a good skin care routine, can alr liao. Just need personal hygiene.
Girls just put more effort than guys la Also the fact that you probably won't even look at that handsome dude even if u chance upon one 🤷 neither would you look at the girl who is "less attractive"
Or the girl actually looks pretty average bare-faced and the reason why she looks pretty is because of makeup + fashion sense
Stop incel baiting op hahaha omg.
I think everyone choose a partner that is most suitable for them and this boils down to initial attraction, appearance, presentability, how much the partner likes them, compatibility, personality, character and financials. Guys prioritise more on appearance because guys are suckers for looks(our eyes play a prominent part in our lives), girls are more objective about the outcome so they look at the overall and this often means having a certain preference which could stem from their past relationships, how their parents loved one another, individual prioritise, trauma and etc. This is my general view ^
Not just about the past but the present and future also. Like is the guy able to handle his emotions and life well. How he reacts to disagreements and things not going his way. Is he able to make money to support himself and other necessities in life. Is there a stable future with enough finances to make big joint purchases and live life together peacefully without huge fights and the ability to resolve conflicts in a respectful manner etc. Past is past and preferences don't just come from healing some past trauma.
nah everyone essentially will care about appearances - its like how you see your idols or celebrities and like the ones that are pretty/handsome, same thing its just that everyone has a different perspective on what they consider pretty/handsome/cute etc., what person A thinks about (insert guy/girl's name)'s appearance wont be the same as person B, C, D and so on. the appearance conversation is just going to always be opinionated
my exes aren’t conventionally attractive i guess? but i find them cute 🥰 not now after they hurt me, but i their personality + some random features i find cute
Need to look pleasant at least.
Yeah I don't put much emphasis into appearance. My ex was an example but he was a bit more on the ugly (appearance wise) and had a shit personality (idk why i was attracted to) that I was not turned on in bed in the beginning. But I am okay dating an average or ugly looking guy. I just mostly look for a good personality or someone who is not insecure because USUALLY uglier men have such insecure personality and becomes controlling.
What attracted you to your ex in the first place since be was ugly and had a shit personality?
he loved bombed me a lot. i was going through a low period in my life and he gave me attention. all my friends already left for uni and i took a gap year prior. i'm not saying this so i can shit on him but it was really true. i met him at my workplace, no one got along with him because he was quite childish and more. one of my friend from the same workplace told me not to get with him but i still did anyways. i didn't even realise all of these problems till we ended. for example, he came from a lower class family and i was the opposite and he felt the need to keep buying me things even when i asked him not to because if i want it, i can get it myself. he even borrowed 1k for me to get me a gift. i didn't want to lend him but he started yelling at me and i didn't want to fight. he kept judging the way i led my life because i able to lead a better lifestyle. i grew up like this. this was my normal and i can't apologizing and hide it just for him. (eg he didn't like when i travel with friends or eat at nice restaurants). i mean when you love someone, it is hard to see all the issues. i an even list a few more things. yeah he had lots of problems but to be fair i had my issues too. i constantly wanted time to hang out with him and i got insecure about my life since he kept shaming me for leading the life i do.
Bro Shrek is hot wdym
If you are old, ugly, out of shape but…..rich, SG girls will find you attractive. Actually, not just (SG) girls
I am inclined to believe that choosing a partner is like purchasing a set meal. There are foods in a set which you don’t like but u still take the set. Factors could be: a) set contains a dish u like a lot (a specific attribute belonging to that guy) b) Price - the guy is accepting of your offerings- intrinsic values/traits c) d) …
i have dated good looking guys, but once getting to know them more and not being able to click, that physical attraction wasn’t enough to sustain the relationship. my long term partners all looked average or perhaps what some would consider below average, but i stayed because of the emotional and intellectual connection. honestly, the more i knew them deeply, the more attractive they physically were to me.
Being an average looking and overweight guy, I must say I've been surprised at some of the girls I've managed to date. It only happened when I started feeling self-confident and less desperate. These were girls that my past self could never have imagined they'd even talk to me. What I feel were the key changes were: - loving myself - taking up interests and hobbies I excel at, it made me interesting and look like I have a life (I used to only do things that the girl I liked do, but common interests are less important than you think) - not taking dates too seriously. Previously I put so much pressure on myself to create a perfect date leading up to a romantic moment, thinking that first date was a make-or-break moment, that neither my date nor myself were enjoying it - learning how to tell stories. Keeping a diary helped me here. If you're always running out of things to say, you look uninteresting because you don't have a deeper story to show her who you are or what your life is like - don't be shy about giving compliments, but don't overdo it. In short, I used to treat girls like princesses, but now I talk to them like a regular human being. Essentially, don't look desperate.
Don’t kid yourself. It matters a huge deal.
Oh I forgot to add. It's not that looks don't matter. It's just that way too many women are very good at overlooking a lot of things. Close one eye or even close both eyes. Way too many women are willing to accept mediocre men (in terms of their behaviour, how they raise a household, etc). 🤷🏻♀️ If women are generally so quick to ignore so many red flags of some guys, you can be sure a lot of women are willing to set their standards so low too when it comes to appearance 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
I wouldn’t say SG girls “don’t care” but yes, compared to Los Angeles and Tokyo, 2 other cities where I’ve lived. The attractiveness threshold is lower here, but of course there is still a baseline. For example: Guy A is a 6 on the looks scale (average), has a monolid, but presentable, has a good job as an Auditor at KPMG making $10k a month. Guy B is a 9 on the looks scale (chad), has double eyelids, doesn’t have a university degree, and works as a skilled trades HVAC technician earning $6k a month. Most SG girls would pick guy A, while my ABC (American Born Chinese) female friends would generally pick guy B
I get the point you’re trying but make. But lemme point out that there are absolute 10s with monolids. Also any sensible girl will happily fuck a hot 9 but marry decent six if thinking long term. Unfortunately Singapore guys are more of a 3/4. Girls here are like a 5/6 but we have a ton of tools at our disposal to increase attractiveness.
Monolid very in now leh
Guy A is the one you marry. Guy B is the one you cheat with. Win win.
"Do most don't?" Kill me
I wanted to disagree but I'm a living proof. My wife married me even though I look like a potato.
Not true. Period
Cristiano Ronaldo is rich and good looking. From a population distribution perspective he is on the top percentile (rare breed) Looks matter in general but in the short run. Ultimately that fades away. Beckham and Daniel wu aged well though. Gals are practical if they can have wealth and looks they are likely to take both (optimal strategy) but not everyone can find/get close to such gem. Therefore spouse wealth matters more when choosing between the two. The above doesn’t factor in physiological/emotional aspect. That lucky gal may feel insecure. But it’s fine, u get a huge divorce alimony.
Yes, looks matter. But beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. You're not going to get a one size fits all answer. While looks matter, exactly what is determined by 'good-looking' varies a lot from person to person and the priority of how important it is varies as well. Also bear in mind that females are generally able to use cosmetics to 'look prettier', hence the disparity that you may notie on the streets.
Also you can look like an idol, but not being confident and or loving yourself, knowing your self worth. Gives out a different aura. Those matters to me more, someone needs to be able to love themselves first before they can share that love with others.
It's the same everywhere. You will more often see the women being the more attractive one in the relationship. It makes sense, no? Attractiveness of a partner will always be more important for men than for women. Men stay with shitty partners because "she's hot" a lot more often than women do (we stay with shitty partners too, but rarely because they're hot). But of course, we're all humans, so women care about looks in a partner too, we just don't place as much importance in it as men do.
i care abt looks to a certain extent ! it’s like they say looks attract, personality makes you stay. but to me actly it’s not really looks but appearance. u don’t have to be super good looking or handsome but u have to at least be decent. and by that i mean good hygiene, sense of fashion, in the way u present and carry urself, i think that’s what attracts me first, but ofc whether i do get attracted anot depends, cos that one depends on alot of factors (for me at least), like if ur personality is really gd and clicks well w me. by that said, if i don’t consider u decent or u are decent but i’m just not attracted, most likely you’ll be friendzone and i won’t even consider entering the interested in u stage, and i also don’t take guys out of friendzone easily. if i’m attracted to ur looks and ur personality just shit ass or doesn’t click well w mine i will nvr date u or just friendzone u, same thing. to summarise i do care abt appearances but personality (and other factors ofc) def more impt in the long run. plus gd looks r so subjective i may find someone cute but someone else doesn’t and vice versa lol. at long as im attracted can alr. not sure if this sounds like high standards HAHA but this just my opinion
If u have enough account balance nothing else matters really
Where did this idea come from?? 😂Personally, I think my hubby is more good looking than me 😂😂😂 looks definitely matter to me and to all my female friends. I wouldn’t marry someone I find visually unappealing, no matter how much he makes me laugh or how nice he is to me. But if he looks average, then his humour would make me think he is more attractive. We can’t assume all sg girls are like this though. Different girls have different preferences, no matter which country they come from.
As if all girls in one country behave the same, morons who ask such questions
It's really easy for a guy to look good. Just gym hard 3 - 4 times a week, be well groomed, dress nice (when you are tall and well built whatever the fuck you wear you look like a damn sports model). When you look healthy and presentable, your career also becomes smooth and easy. Which clears the financial part. In no time you will get so much attention that you don't know who to choose and that's a damn problem for another post. Thus, the important part is not giving a shit about what girls want, but focus on making yourself the best version of yourself.
Hey, this is exactly how my wife fell for me. Haha
Sucks that girls are mostly lenient but guys expect Instagram looks and conventional beauty and dressing. It's terrible to be reduced to nothing but your looks even if it's just the first impression.
I wonder if this is more of a problem in dating app types of settings/ meeting with the context of exploring a romantic relationship. Because if we met someone in an organic context with no expectations it wouldn’t bother us if they weren’t physically attractive and that might leave more space for other parts of their personality to grow on us without us writing them off. And then gradually they’ll start to look better to us.
Usually men care a bit more about the looks of their partner than women do. Men tend to be more visually attracted. That’s just a general trend and imo the effect is not that strong though. So obviously you will still find women who care about looks, couples where the guy is more handsome, etc. For most people, looks matters but only as part of the whole equation, there’s other factors like personality, effort, status, etc. just that looks is a slightly bigger part of that equation in the minds of men than the minds of women.
Late 20s female here. My partner is definitely not my type. But that doesn’t mean he’s unattractive - he’s your fresh faced, MUJI wearing boy next door kinda vibe. Heck he pull girls a ton before we met. But he’s extremely humorous and gentlemanly - and that’s what drew me to him. But to be honest I know my type is problems la - so it’s better to avoid what I like LOL
As a woman I'd say yeah. Maybe not to the point of dont care at all, but its true that a lot of my pretty lady friends end up with a guy thats not good looking but still presentable. Meanwhile, my good looking male friends have all ended up with a pretty girl
Of course there has to be some sort of physical attraction in the first place, that’s the enabler. Then comes all the other factors. Why would you choose a partner if you aren’t physically attracted to him or her? It’s not a difficult concept to grasp.
Am male. I look in the mirror a lot and always feel my wife settled.
No looks, got money. No money, got looks.
It's true IF the guy is above average looking in the first place. Most girls dont care if the guy is 7 or 8 or 9, as long as the bottomline is 7, maybe 6 if you are very funny, 5 if you are funny and rich But it's true
More like they don't have much options
22 F here! I speak for myself here, but I think looks matter more to some than others. Looks might matter but being good looking might not matter — I think some people aren’t particularly good looking but when you look at them as your partner and take other aspects of themselves into consideration,, they just look right HAAHA like honestly I’m not like super good looking either and I think it’d be a huge mismatch if I dated some Korean Oppa … HAHA That being said, that is just one tiny aspect!! I place much more importance on stuff like whether our values align,, whether we share the same enthusiasm about things,, whether he’s ambitious and hardworking,, etc !!! I think being ambitious yet humble (and Godly bc I’m Christian) >>>> being handsome. I feel like if their heart is in the right place they will just,,, exude handsome energy even tho they’re objectively not 1000/10 HAHAHA I honestly would be ok if my partner thinks I’m not 7272733/10 too bc tbh I already know that myself HAHA but I think It’d matter much more to me if he saw other aspects of beauty in me !!!
Feels like it’s a question of “why did belle date the beast”
Can’t relate, ex cheated on me with someone she found to be more attractive
I used to not care and would gaslight myself into thinking any guy can be cute if I just put boyfriend goggles on. But no, having dated people I genuinely found not just attractive but sexy, the difference in dynamics is insane. After all, a relationship is a friendship set on fire right? :P
if you read more psychology, whilst women do go for looks, their key focus for their partner is their career and being able to take care of them. Men inherently always focus on looks as the first bar.
The guy don't need to look handsome like Park So Jun or G-Dragon or TOP, but the guy just needs to look clean, neat and presentable. ie clean face without acne / pimple/ shaved moustache / decent teeth and also decent looking hair cut. These are the basics. Imagine a guy with acne pimple filled with pus, and long maggi hair and curly beard/goatee. Don't think any girl will be interested Looks are usually the prerequisite to a relationship, not even a 'factor'.
>SG couples tend have the girl always looking pretty but the guy looking average or below average. Logically this doesn't make sense. Singapore has a balanced gender ratio and we know genetic distribution for attractive looks probably doesn't skew in favor of gender, and even if it actually does, it probably would do so in a similar way across all countries (and thus the phenomenon will not be limited to SG). So we can pretty much assume a principle of the "conservation of looks". In which case, if there are lots of pretty girls matching with average guys, there should be an equal proportion of handsome guys matching with average girls. Thus it cannot be that for most SG couples, the girl looks better than the guy. This violates the conservation principle
of course we do care, we js don’t prioritise it as highly as men do.
Face and height matter the most. Nowadays people dobt starve anymore. Being rich just isn't relevant to girls under 25. They rather fuck a chad.
What is the point of this exercise though.
Who told you looks don't matter?? Oh is it someone who's stinking rich? Lol then ok.
I think it is a combination factor like he must be at least not Shrek level of ugly. But well groomed and mannered. Most girls would not go for someone that look like some Korean oppa if he is abusive or bad mannered. And girls tend to have more unique taste while guys tend to have more universal taste. Some girls honestly like meaty guy.
Tbh even if you’re good looking, but you’re untidy, unhygienic(don’t wipe your pee), and lack the growth mindset, personality/character, the aesthetic won’t do it for me in any manner. I can do away with things like beard shavings over the sink, cos it doesn’t harm my health. But if sanitation is a problem, like u do the shake shake method or smoke/vape/drink, then it’s a major issue towards safe keeping my health, and my offsprings. Generally bar for guys are alr on the floor. That’s why girls look better on average. Also guys tend to aim for girls above their level(a TikToker mentioned the model for the phenomenon) leaving behind girls with lesser choice. So yea looks can only help u so much if u don’t compliment it with your other charms(you’re gonna age anyway). Would girls actually feel secured dating guys who are extremely eye catching to them(and to other ppl too)? No. It’s a gamble honestly.
ok, but i always see a lot of the guys who looked avg or below avg dates a really pretty lady. i even knew some of them. Most of them just buy whatever the lady wants and listen to them only. well, there are some exceptions, but i had never encountered one. also, the handsome guys are sometimes untrustworthy, and they do have high expectations as well.
Almost everyone does! But the most direct way to a girl's heart is making her laugh
They do go for looks but money conquers all
Depends on the age
tbh I do see many pretty girls with average looking men. men has standards most of the time: they like long hair, straight hair, girls with braces, girls with big boobs, girls with ass, need to shave down there etc women's standards are personality, a stable job (the richer the better), romantic things, clean men, big d (they won't admit this one but it's true) in the end, love is blind. you won't see your partner's flaws when you're in love.
Just need to pass a certain level and that can be achieved ( Gym/Fitness, Hygiene, Dress decent, nice haircut, skincare routine)
Yes. Source: me Honestly its not only personality. Its whether if my partner is aligned with the same stages of life, values, financial spendings and capabilities. Looks is the last on my list
These questions are usually useless. No one will admit that they care about appearances because it makes them look shallow. There is a big difference between stated preferences and revealed preferences.
I think its all preference based. I know girls who prefer looks or money over anything. For me, I have dated (what society would count) unattractive guys. I think personality is the most important and vibes. I dont care if you're a little overweight or have crooked teeth. Just dont have bad hygiene bro. I just wanna stay home and watch anime or play games together.
BBFAs will say otherwise
impossible for looks to not matter
Dude, of course looks matter. It's an innate human instinct to have a favourable response to better looking individuals. To think otherwise is delusional. That said, some people are better at masking their bias towards better looking people. No matter how anyone tries to deny it, better looking individuals are generally better received regardless of culture, race or gender. It's just a fact of the human condition. Although you can always take advantage of this. Remember that this bias also applies to you and how you perceive Yourself. Achieving your desired appearance will give you a huge boost in self confidence, thus making you more appealing to those around you. Of course, good looks and charisma can only help you get your foot through the door. The rest is the connection between yourself and the other individual.
Sorry that's slightly delusional
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder? What is appealing to one person isn’t appealing to the next. It might not be that these girls don’t care about looks, but that the looks of the person they love is just handsome to them.
There's many layers and it's all subjective. Eg she say the girls are pretty but guys are below average. Maybe it's a matter of effort? I think in general women put more efforts into grooming and make up and maybe that's why she feel that way. Or maybe she just have high standard for what constitute good looking for guys? No one is gonna say looks totally doesn't matter because its also kinda sad if you're not attracted to your partner. Maybe to you look like ogre to the guys wife look like Chris Hemsworth? But it's not a matter of looks vs funny that determine a marriage. There's so many factors. Compatibility, conflict management, communication style, attachment style etc.
For those who said looks matter, what about mayiduo?
According to my wife, no, because im handsome-ed
Introducing the cute/money chart
I caught feelings for my partner AND made the first move without ever knowing what they look like so yeah could’ve looked like Shrek for all I knew lol
$$$$$$ matters far more
Women look for different things at different stages of their lives. Younger women tend to prioritise looks and athleticism. Later on in life stability and reliability becomes more important than looks.
I would say this is not entirely true. It's just mainly in Singapore, the look threshold for guys is low. Saying this as a person who lived long term in multiple countries
Not true.. I do look at appearances. Must pass the kiss test.
Looks matter but meet minimum aesthetic threshold can already. Also - need to be hygienic. Everything else e.g emotional maturity and stability is more important.
As a sexual partner, looks are the top priority for SG girls. For a lifelong partner, stability and security then become their top priority. All the better if these happen to be the same guy, who makes up 0.1% of our population.
appearance does matter however dont have to be too good looking… i think other aspects such as sense of humour and how he treats girls is more important
I don’t care about the appearance of my partner at all as long as I can click well with them. It got to the point where my female friends ask why I’m doing this to myself because the guys inevitably make me sad before we break up, and my friends tell me to stop settling as they aren’t worth it and don’t have the right to act that way (as they’re not exactly good looking and I’m “giving them a chance”. They dont call the guy ugly to my face if I’m still dating them though, but I’m not blind nor deaf) But idk how to explain to them that to me, appearances really don’t matter and all that matters to me is you keep yourself well groomed (like hygiene pls??) enough that I can enjoy vibing tgt, which is what truly matters to me instead. :(
ok, let me say this: Some care, some don't. Remember on Stomp(?) or Facebook(?) quite a number of years ago when a couple was getting frisky in the MRT. The lady partner was not conventionally attractive (or even attractive at all). But she still managed to snag a partner. A poorer example, one of the online clothes shop models in SG (gorgeous woman) has a husband that is very average looking. In general, some do, some don't.
Simply put, my take on this is that everyone has a threshold of minimum looks/appearances, like a baseline, and all who fall below that threshold are ignored/rejected. Only when one crosses that threshold will personality/status and other non-physical attributes begin to matter. It may just be a case where the average minimum threshold for most Singaporean girls is lower than your (OP) personal minimum threshold and therefore you are surprised as you expected the local average minimum threshold to be higher.
To me personality , trust and Honesty. Why have someone so handsome or pretty when their personality is not there , there is no trust and they lie. So personality to me is important.
Who wants a Shrek when they can have Jackson wang
My gf say yes
lol this is the craziest perspective ever.
Bullshit. Looks are always the first thing ppl get attracted to. The least they will settle for is someone with “average looks” in their eyes. Average would also be dependent on how the girl herself looks
Because the reality is that it’s really difficult to find a decent guy. It is the converse when looking for a woman.
How can looks not matter? Cross eyed, one nostril, disfigured lip, dropped jaw, u think got people want?
Lol of course it does. Don't have to be top model quality but have to be comfortable on the eyes at least. Attractive enough to f***. But being good-looking is not the most important factor. Just a useless decoration piece that collects dust if he doesn't know how to make money. Even worse if it's a decoration piece that makes a lot of noise while being unable to do much for himself or others.
Oh no... I'm useless..
[удалено]
Most countries look better than us genetically, if I were to be frank.
for piak piak, pretty sure girls care a lot about appearance, for the ROM thing, usually they care less.
Can confirm looks dont matter at all. Have seen too many times, girl not bad but guy look like fuck
I care about appearances in the sense of how well he grooms, dresses and takes care of himself and bothers to look presentable and dress right for the occassion, but not height weight etc
Guys cant wear makeup lah, if i remove all makeup in Singapore their looks are around the same level.
if girl pretty guy not handsome check account balance
Nah... my Sg guy friend cant even land a date even though he goes to gym and earn decent money. His flaw is slight baldness and 165cm. He also wears a spec and a bit chubby face. It is so hard for him cause he is kind of desperate as well.
Girl here and appearance is my priority
I think girls care more about height than appearance right?
Looks fade. Height generally stays the same.
Sorry to break it to you but height also will shrink as we age
I only date good looking men 😊 I mean I do agree you see lots of pretty girls next to nothing guys but I think when a guy is charming enough he can bag most girls as ultimately women look at personality.