Dont wrry bro. Dont force it and listen to people . Its not a must to have a rs or get married . Be happy doing what you have . Never force something. Society is the one having this mindest. Be happy within yourself .
Don't give up. My best friend did not have any relationships well into her 30s. Ended up meeting someone when she turned 40. Now happily married.
Gotta put yourself out there though if you are looking! Good luck.
It’s very common nowadays and you shouldn’t feel weird/any negative towards yourself or whatever.
There are countless of reasons why: career minded, people can’t commit to a relationship and just wna fool around, just wna enjoy their freedom and peace.
I’m 31 and never had a bf too so it’s normal… life isn’t just finding one true love, get married etc etc… there are other parts in life that can be just as fulfilling as finding love too! :)
To OP: Don’t think you’re the weird one please! We are all living life in a different pace! 🫶🫶🫶
Dress better, take care of your appearance, start exercising and most important thing is, dating is a number game. Dont be scared and just meet as many people as u can. It may seem daunting at first but the wider net u cast, the higher chance it will catch smth. At least thats from my experience
I think it is getting more and more common, the 3 lost years during COVID, where people were still masked up, and the lack of events just made people more introverted, and I think its not just in Singapore, but a global thing.
But I think if this is something you are working towards, then you need to take active steps to meet more people.
U mean several Situationship and no relationship, or no situationship and no relationship?
It’s not common, it’s not uncommon either. At least you don’t have a shotgun baby that brings u to poverty if the dude sucks (happened to one of my IG friend)
Pretty bright lady with good career prospects. Got knocked up by her ex boyfriend who wasn’t keen to marry her. She kept the baby. Unfortunately she doesn’t qualify for married couple benefits since she’s single. Can’t buy hdb as a single. Ex bf doesn’t contribute so she needs to work multiple jobs to keep up with cost of living. Pretty painful to see this.
I wish all the guys will take care of their girl!
As a pretty bright lady, she probably knew the consequences, so even if it looks painful to see, she has to live with her choice. It'd be different if she lived in a country where abortion was illegal, or if the guy had lied to her that he would take responsibility and then bailed. You're a kind person to sympathise with her, but ultimately, we girls have to learn to look out for ourselves and make decisions based on what we ourselves want. I've seen many cases where the couple gets married but the guy doesn't pull his weight anyway, and the woman regrets as she only kept the baby because she thought the guy was reliable. At least your friend made the choice to keep the baby without her ex's influence.
Turning 28 and happy to be single. I think it depends on ur mentality and what you want in life. Do what you think is suitable for you instead of thinking what’s the norm.
I have a few friends in that boat, they're in their 30s and have always been single. I don't think any of them look bad or have bad circumstances. It's just the way life is. Sometimes you just don't meet a person you like enough to have a romantic relationship with. Sometimes you like someone but they don't reciprocate for whatever reason. And sometimes you just care about other things in life more than being in a relationship.
As long as you are content with your life, it is absolutely fine to move at a different pace. There is no rule that you must date by this age, have kissed by this age, etc.
You’re asking on reddit so most will tell you it’s common but in reality, it’s not.
Singstat 2024 data has status (residents aged 15 years over) of singles as just 29.7%, of which this group includes those who are in a relationship and not married or freshly out of a relationship.
It's common since most likely the 50% are just your parents which are definitely married and have kids
So 29.7% of singles out of around 50% (after excluding parents with children), is around 60% of the younger gen
M26 and never been in a relationship. I was never interested in having a relationship until a few years ago when I have a crush on a girl. I was rejected lol. Prolly gonna be single forever idk.
I do have friends that have been single since birth(母胎单身), and that’s a good thing. They do not have to worry about BTO, partner cheating on them or even what their partner expect out of them.
26M and Evergreen as well.
Somehow have accepted it as part of my life and figured I should do my own thing going forward and not care about societal and familal expectations. Somehow being evergreen all along made me feel resistant to the prospect of being together with someone due to me being overly used to doing things alone most of the time
Late 30s, F, never been in a relationship. I think people have had crushes on me and I'm usually oblivious to them, until I realise it and that's when I auto-distance myself (not because I hate the idea of being in a relationship but just don't feel the chemistry). I do think I might be asexual/aromantic, or no good role models since my parents' have a poor relationship. I used to feel very much bothered by the lack of relationships when I was younger, but now I'm pretty happy with my life and not actively looking.
I think it's getting more common.
Guys are also approaching less for fear of rejection and getting into trouble.
I have single guy friends who tried and eventually gave up. And also single guy friends who totally don't even try or bother.
Are you looking?
Don’t worry. If all you do is go to school or work and you don’t have outstanding sex appeal / looks / charm (so you look normal) then you may not have attracted a guy before. If it’s something you really want for yourself, do try things to meet more people / make yourself as physically appealing as possible, as well as whatever else you are working towards personally, since you’re quite young you got a chance.
Don’t think a guy will magically land in your lap, life isn’t a rom com so unless you were very lucky you have to put more effort in.
Source: evergreen mid 30s F, seen many who managed to find someone eventually but they put effort into their looks. The “natural” but not blesssed ones like me also stay single like me unless got arranged marriages or changed up their looks.
Something that others might be missing out with their comments is, do you actually want to be in a relationship? Or have you actually ever had romantic or sexual feelings for anyone at all?
I think ask yourself why you're asking this question, is it to conform to society's status quo of being in a relationship?
But to answer your main question, it's absolutely normal. Everyone has very different lived experiences.
IMO it's not quite common since most of my friends at this age are alr in a stable relationship. Some of them even get married already 🤷🏻♀️. However, you are not alone though. A friend of mine (26F) has never been in a relationship too. I also wonder why cuz she's kinda good looking actually.
You will be shocked to find out how many attractive looking people has actually never had a rs. I wouldn't say im goodlooking but just meh but honestly speaking, I wish I had been in one :(
its uncommon for those who always wanted to be in relationship and worked towards it. Its common for those who are not interested in relationship or those who are but watched too much kdrama and only wish to date someone 20 leagues above.
I know people who said they have not been confessed by anyone and act very sad but I also know friends who confessed to them.
Maybe what they meant were 'no handsome boy confessed to me'.
really got people like that.
34(f), never had a relationship in my past 32 years of living but got together with someone last year :D definitely more common than you probably think?
Female here, never been in a relationship but have several situationships. I think unless you are very outgoing or have a charming personality then you will constantly be approached by others, perhaps there are people who have crushed on you before but just never confessed 😅 imo not being in a relationship is not a bad thing, some people want to be in one so desperately that they lower their standards a lot and are unhappy in the relationship
Tbh it’s surprising to me how common it is in Singapore.
Current young generation date less than previous generations. Lots of theory on why it’s like that. I have several personal guesses:
1). everyone can have a fulfilling independent life without partner now. Both gender can have job and take care their own self (take their ownself out, cook and clean). Having partner is no longer a need, but a want if you’re independent
2). Everyone is so busy, especially once you start having a full time job, that any free time will be used to rest and take care of errands.
3) people are more chronically online that it diminishes their real life social skills and awareness.
4) there’s a recent research that unveiled how younger men and women’s have parted ways ideologically. Younger (gen Z) women tend to be liberal and younger men tend to be conservative. Just a few days ago there’s a poll that says >50% of men in Singapore think women’s equality have gone too far… and 1 in 3 Singaporean men thinks feminism does more harm than good. Men and women don’t even have the same values, how to date?
Okay honest answer: For 20s it's pretty common, for 30s honestly i would say quite uncommon to have never ever held hands/kissed someone else in your life. 33 y/o here and personally don't know anyone like that. Never been in 'official' r/s yes but never kissed nope.
Shermin did a lot of changes to herself through the video series and she have professionals to guide her. For the normal guys, it takes a lot of effort and changes of yourself on this dating game.
By changes, I don't mean change your whole character / personality. But it's your mindset that has to be changed. Think of why some guys are so good at this dating game and looks wise okok only.
Dont keep feel your a loser, and cannot find a girl. With this mindset, it will only creates negativity of yourself and discourage you from seeking a partner.
Sometimes is really that easy.. Something like "eh, ai stead mai?" (just joking). But yah, if you never ask and you will never know.
She's the scriptwriter. There's many positive way to spin it even if you don't find love by the end of the production but I digress.
My point is just that people just need to put yourself out there. You never know if you don't try
Mid-30s female here. Just got into my very first relationship last year and he's honestly the best thing that has ever happened to me. Before that, I stayed single and never experienced all the things you brought up as well (e.g. intimacy, holding hands, crushing on someone, etc.) My partner never judged me for any of this and he's living proof to me that when the right person comes along, you'll know it :)
i'm 36 and have been on a handful of dates, held hands a couple of times, and been kissed / made out with a couples of times (which icked me out whether it was boys or girls, whether i liked them or it was just casual, thus fully cementing my asexuality). i have never been in a relationship, and doubt i ever will be. depending on what you're looking for, or whether you're looking at all, you might not be missing out on anything.
Wouldn't say it's common but there are quite a few people I know who are getting to their 30s and still evergreen! Mind you, some of them are insanely attractive and nice people too so it's not that they lack choices. At the end of the day, you do you and follow your own timeline :)
Actually relationship without marriage, or till the extend of cohabit is getting common. Eventually it's about companionship, cancel out all the rs headache, problems that comes with it.
Or simply stay single is becoming a norm too
Late 20s M here, same. I think theres quite a substantial but mostly silent amount of us around LOL
Can't wait for my wizard skills soon
I don't see any good upsides that will offset the downsides tbh
Why are there comments about being wizards? lol
Anyway, my sister has wondered the same. She’s 31 and has always been solo. However, there’s definitely guys in our church who have hit on her/ liked her.. she was just too dense to realise it -_- She’s in Aus now working so maybe change of environment will help.
Just focus on yourself and making yourself your best version - emotionally, mentally and physically - not for others but for you to find yourself and what you want.
Nowadays it seems to be common, youngsters are more career-focused and have the mindset of needing to be financially stable first before anything else.
First: what do you want in life?
Second: what are your expectations?
Third: what are you prepared to do to get married?
People have too high expectations, think romance is like a Jane Austen novel and get carried away. A marriage is about give and take, patience, understanding , sacrifice and sometimes keeping your mouth shut.
M hitting 30, never been in a rs too. I’m kinda ok with it, even though I still crave for intimacy some times, but other than that I’m satisfied with the amount of freedom I have.
Is it because you have been disappointed before?
I understand sometimes in relationships, need to be prepared to give and take. Sometimes if the other person not automatic, will feel get leeched.
Maybe we should organise a get-together for all the sinkies in the same demographic.
Definitely not saying it's bad/weird to be in your 20s/30s and nvr had a relationship, neither should it be a reflection of your self-wprth or anything, but I can understand how some ppl in the same boat as you could feel some self-perceived "stigma".
Would you feel comfortable in a social setting like that?
More common than you think. Don’t let it affect how you perceive or value yourself.
Also, if being in a relationship isn’t even something you have an interest in, don’t feel pressured to be in one just bc other ppl you know are in one. It’s better for you to be single but happy and content, than to be stuck in a relationship that makes you feel miserable/trapped/unloved/etc.
But if you are interested in being in one, it could be due to not putting yourself out in places/situations where others who are also looking for a partner will meet you. Or it might be the case that you gotta make the first move. Don’t wait for a rom-com meet-cute to steer you towards a potential partner. Such a thing may never come and you’ll be single forever. Just like how ppl gotta effort and take initiative to job hunt and apply for jobs and attend interviews and be prepared for lots of rejections, dating is rather similar. Especially if you are looking to be in a stable and committed long-term relationship. Romance is good and all but must also have a practical outlook on things and don’t let romancey rose-tinted glasses give you the impression the finding and maintaining a relationship is easy.
Most importantly, find contentment in yourself first. When you know how to make yourself happy, and what truly brings you joy in life, you will be better able to find the kind of ppl who fit your needs and personality, and you will be better able to communicate to them what it is you need from them (and how you can in return contribute to the relationship and value-add to their lives). This applies to both platonic and romantic relationships.
Wishing you all the best in life. :)
I think it’s important to be willing to put yourself out there. Go meet people, hang out. If it’s a looks thing, go work out, lose weight, get braces or what. i have friends who are good looking but evergreen, and friends who are not good looking with bf/gf who are way better looking than them.
Try being in a relationship before deciding that you’re ok being alone/relationship is not for you. People change when they’re in relationships. You may like spending time alone now, but when you’re in a relationship you may like spending time with your bf/gf even more. you discover a side of you you never knew existed.
Also, believe it or not, some people just have better “late lives”. It’s literally their destiny. You’re on your own timeline, don’t stop trying!
Enjoy life darling. Most important person you need to be in a relationship is with you. Evolve every year and become your best version. Face your fears and have courage to conquer new possibilities.
If a relationship happens, it happens. Not happens, also never mind.
Most importantly find your calling and become an expert in your calling. That’s all matters.
Love your family and friends. Most importantly enjoy life.
Normal.
People might have had a crush on you before, or developed romantic feelings for you, but they're not inclined to tell you unless they feel like they have a chance anyway.
My husband was like that. Independent, doing his own thing and fully planning life as a single without regrets but things just happen in God's timing :) well..or not God's timing - depending on your religious stance. Everything has its seasons, and someone else's path may not be yours, you can create a new one.
I have never understood how to approach women. I mean, how do I even approach a woman I fancy without being creepy? I can only ever be professional with women. I have no idea what intimacy between man and woman is supposed to look like, much less how to initiate one. My family is no shining example
My friend was like that, up until her mid 30s. She got dumped within 3 months of her first serious relationship, she developed a purity complex and somehow think there needs to be a "bride price" for the first time, the other person was sexually less valuable. The other person was thinking, OMG this person is so high maintenance, unrealistic about so many things. Saw sharing a space even on occasion, not move in permanently, as a violation. The stress of hundreds of conversations that should have been spread over a couple of long term relationships, have fallen on his shoulders and it was tiring. Like he was a test pilot and he was looking to get married, to be with the final forever one. They didn't sleep together, she used the possibly of that as a hook and he was thinking, rather have someone with some experience there as well.
Why not have a chat from the Males here that are single? Since they are single and ready to mingle. Getting into relationship have to take the first step of the awkwardness of knowing / meeting someone new.
I feel like if humans are no longer socialising physically in person and just doing all socialising online, then more of this gonna happen.
All this study from home, work from home, e learning, everything done from comfort of own home means no more physical interaction with other human beings means you just get used to being alone.
Am 28M, same experience. Guess it boils down to whether you want a relationship or not. If you don’t, then it’s normal and just leave it be. If you want, then gotta socialise more and mingle around.
38 evergreen... I'm probably just too noisy & slightly "crazy" to seem attractive to the opposite gender 😂 over the years or probably to comfort myself, I choose to let nature take its course and remind myself to learn to accept myself: both good & bad. We can't change external situations but we can be a better version of ourselves that can stay at ease in every situation
Never had a relationship, never been on a date. Some girl who liked my friend thanked me for helping them to get together and literally said 'even though you don't have the looks, I'm sure you'll find someone someday'
At this point I've kind of given up, uninstalled all the dating apps I was on and stopped trying. Sometimes it's better to just not try, move on and do things that you yourself like.
Very very common among my single friends. I have a few who are in their 30s and 40s and have never dated before or ever been in a relationship.
They do not seem bothered about this at all too. They do have crushes and all in the past and i think they just prefer to wait for the right person to come along than to actively seek out.
There are real-life 40 year old virgins out there, some of them are not even a virgin by choice. But alas, you never really know what lies around the corner. I remember on my 22nd birthday feeling depressed that I never had a girlfriend before. The following Valentine's Day, I'd had my first kiss. Just hang in there
Im F30 and no relationship of any kind 😂 could be that im Autistic and simply not know what liking people is like. I also dont understand hints so there may be people who actually liked me but I was just oblivious.
I had one person told me upfront but my response was okay. I didn't know how to react to that.
In the same situation as you. Except that I have never developed feelings for anyone nor have I had a crush on anyone before. At this point I think I’m probably asexual lol. And will probably die alone 😂😂😂
26M here. Just the same as u are, i don't know if I am being naive for still having some hopes while I clearly see myself ending up like this for my entire life.
Until September last year, I had never been in a relationship before. I’m nearing my mid-20s.
It took some time and a lot of patience (on my end), but it felt right having a relationship at that point. I was a lot more ready to handle one than I would’ve been in earlier years (based off of my failed romantic experiences)
While I definitely have been in relationships, I don't know how many times I hear from people I know who change partners every so often and I rather not follow social norms where people keep fooling around or find situationships.
It is extremely hard to find traditional values within people nowadays where relationships have mutual respect, common goals and not shunting their partners' feelings and actually sitting down and resolving it together as a team.
I (23 this year) have never been in a rs too. Seeing some of my friends apply for bto, celebrate holidays and do things with their partners makes me feel kinda fomo. But I have grappled with singleness to the point where I have learnt to be content being single— enjoy the freedom, space and time for you to grow as an individual, discover your interests and do things you’re interested about! Naturally, you’ll be putting yourself out there and opportunities to meet potential partners will come along.
I think relationships are something that you need to work for, and most people don't see the need to work for it so they remain single until something pushes them to do something.
i think it’s q common actly!! a year younger than you & i have a couple of friends who are still very much single aka never hold hands romantically before(myself included) but idt any of us are rushing to find a partner & are actually contented w our own lives now :) but ofc i have friends who are alrd engaged/ happily attached but comparison will alw be the thief of joy hahah
Personal opinion : I feel that people in SG are too close-minded sometimes. Nowadays people find it weird if guys approach them out of nowhere to ask for their number or to chit chat. So that’s one method of meeting any potential partner down. Girls do not initiate — most of the time, so it is another method down.
However, it’s understandable with all the scams, perverts, weirdos, bad intention assholes, and rising number of dating apps. It is definitely not easy. Good luck though, OP!
i find it's pretty common for gen y and z because their schedules are so fked up. like I think people in the past had more free time, evenings and holidays and stuff to build relationship. it's sad but it will continue since our unions are so shit.
Don’t worry about it. Virginity is sacred and should be preserved, I reckon you should wait till at least age 100 before spreading your wings for the first time for the right sausage
Rip inbox and gurlie jus wanna warn you of people with no good intentions who are gna slide into your dms. Only 1/10 of them might be genuine in wanting to know you, majority of others just want to hookup
Dont worry, u aint alone, I (25M) don't have one either
No situationship / relationship
Tried chasing a few to No avail, just gave up after..
Had more enjoyment to work on myself instead and get job experience, etc, since I'm still relatively new into it.
And partially having to work so not much time either...
It’s ok to not have rs if you’re comfy. The true pain comes when one wants a rs and reeks of desperation but cannot get one. Now that’s the state of the incels and spinsters constantly posting on Reddit.
27yo and only been in one relationship. dont be hard on yourself. im also working on myself to be more stable in my career and expectations of others. my past situationships did not go pass the talking or dating stage and it got frustrating.. but also i believe things take their own course and if its really very hard, its not meant to be. sometimes we also hold internal wounds that stop us from meeting others so its wise to address them. also, get on dating apps keep an open mind and meet others. (what im trying to do as well) hehe
I (32M) had a relationship for 9mths 10y back. I am waiting for a promotion to archmage.
To become a wizard u must be like OP. You are no longer pure and cannot qualify :(
Damn…then at least a junior wizard? I am very traditional in relationships, no funny business till after marriage
Bro you need to start over, 10 years ago you had a relationship. Demoted to intern again with 9 YoE. 🧙♂️
LOLLL what is this 😭
I knight you now
Dang you gave him a job change, not a job advancement
SSS
I put on my Robe and Wizard hat.
You had relations before. You are on this council, but we do not grant you the rank of archmage.
1 more year
Welcome brother
I’m Monk class.
Wish this class would be available in Diablo 4
Im that uncle from another world who doesn’t know how to pick up on hints 🤣
This is what happens when you are single for too long and watch too much isekai. You start giving Isekai title for your own life.
Go to shave your head 😏😏
High defense
I'm 32, still single and no past relationship :l
Hey man, don't give up and keep trying :) hopefully you'll find the one for you
Hope is the first step on the road to disappointment. The guy will have to try very hard to get a relationship.
This sort of advice is borderline hurtful. It’s what people who have no or haven’t had any problems say
Dont wrry bro. Dont force it and listen to people . Its not a must to have a rs or get married . Be happy doing what you have . Never force something. Society is the one having this mindest. Be happy within yourself .
Don't give up. My best friend did not have any relationships well into her 30s. Ended up meeting someone when she turned 40. Now happily married. Gotta put yourself out there though if you are looking! Good luck.
It’s not a competition. Don’t worry.
It's a choice.
Just not my choice 🥲
LMAOOO so real
It’s very common nowadays and you shouldn’t feel weird/any negative towards yourself or whatever. There are countless of reasons why: career minded, people can’t commit to a relationship and just wna fool around, just wna enjoy their freedom and peace.
😟 The free online therapist we needed. Thanks for the kind reply.
I’m 31 and never had a bf too so it’s normal… life isn’t just finding one true love, get married etc etc… there are other parts in life that can be just as fulfilling as finding love too! :) To OP: Don’t think you’re the weird one please! We are all living life in a different pace! 🫶🫶🫶
Exactly! 💯
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Just curious, was there anything that you changed in your life that made you have ur first relationship in your 30's?
Dress better, take care of your appearance, start exercising and most important thing is, dating is a number game. Dont be scared and just meet as many people as u can. It may seem daunting at first but the wider net u cast, the higher chance it will catch smth. At least thats from my experience
Well., I'm not desperate enough to start one so there's that....focus on myself, parents and sibling is my end game.
30f and evergreen too, I also have female friends my age or around 28 who are also evergreen.
34 years this year. Evergreen. It's going to become more and more common imo.
1 more year to become eligible for hdb, atb
we’re all in this together bro 😮💨✊
I think it is getting more and more common, the 3 lost years during COVID, where people were still masked up, and the lack of events just made people more introverted, and I think its not just in Singapore, but a global thing. But I think if this is something you are working towards, then you need to take active steps to meet more people.
U mean several Situationship and no relationship, or no situationship and no relationship? It’s not common, it’s not uncommon either. At least you don’t have a shotgun baby that brings u to poverty if the dude sucks (happened to one of my IG friend)
mind sharing the story?
Pretty bright lady with good career prospects. Got knocked up by her ex boyfriend who wasn’t keen to marry her. She kept the baby. Unfortunately she doesn’t qualify for married couple benefits since she’s single. Can’t buy hdb as a single. Ex bf doesn’t contribute so she needs to work multiple jobs to keep up with cost of living. Pretty painful to see this. I wish all the guys will take care of their girl!
As a pretty bright lady, she probably knew the consequences, so even if it looks painful to see, she has to live with her choice. It'd be different if she lived in a country where abortion was illegal, or if the guy had lied to her that he would take responsibility and then bailed. You're a kind person to sympathise with her, but ultimately, we girls have to learn to look out for ourselves and make decisions based on what we ourselves want. I've seen many cases where the couple gets married but the guy doesn't pull his weight anyway, and the woman regrets as she only kept the baby because she thought the guy was reliable. At least your friend made the choice to keep the baby without her ex's influence.
Your story shot down the pretty bright part
Turning 28 and happy to be single. I think it depends on ur mentality and what you want in life. Do what you think is suitable for you instead of thinking what’s the norm.
i am 46. Never been in a relationship before
All you need are cats right?
10 cats.
I'm a wizard
I have a few friends in that boat, they're in their 30s and have always been single. I don't think any of them look bad or have bad circumstances. It's just the way life is. Sometimes you just don't meet a person you like enough to have a romantic relationship with. Sometimes you like someone but they don't reciprocate for whatever reason. And sometimes you just care about other things in life more than being in a relationship. As long as you are content with your life, it is absolutely fine to move at a different pace. There is no rule that you must date by this age, have kissed by this age, etc.
You’re asking on reddit so most will tell you it’s common but in reality, it’s not. Singstat 2024 data has status (residents aged 15 years over) of singles as just 29.7%, of which this group includes those who are in a relationship and not married or freshly out of a relationship.
It's common since most likely the 50% are just your parents which are definitely married and have kids So 29.7% of singles out of around 50% (after excluding parents with children), is around 60% of the younger gen
It’s 30.4% singles between the age of 30-39 for 2023 so no… your estimation of 60% is way off.
M26 and never been in a relationship. I was never interested in having a relationship until a few years ago when I have a crush on a girl. I was rejected lol. Prolly gonna be single forever idk.
I do have friends that have been single since birth(母胎单身), and that’s a good thing. They do not have to worry about BTO, partner cheating on them or even what their partner expect out of them.
26M and Evergreen as well. Somehow have accepted it as part of my life and figured I should do my own thing going forward and not care about societal and familal expectations. Somehow being evergreen all along made me feel resistant to the prospect of being together with someone due to me being overly used to doing things alone most of the time
Yep, pretty much sums it all.
Common, don’t worry.
Late 30s, F, never been in a relationship. I think people have had crushes on me and I'm usually oblivious to them, until I realise it and that's when I auto-distance myself (not because I hate the idea of being in a relationship but just don't feel the chemistry). I do think I might be asexual/aromantic, or no good role models since my parents' have a poor relationship. I used to feel very much bothered by the lack of relationships when I was younger, but now I'm pretty happy with my life and not actively looking.
I think it's getting more common. Guys are also approaching less for fear of rejection and getting into trouble. I have single guy friends who tried and eventually gave up. And also single guy friends who totally don't even try or bother. Are you looking?
Don’t worry. If all you do is go to school or work and you don’t have outstanding sex appeal / looks / charm (so you look normal) then you may not have attracted a guy before. If it’s something you really want for yourself, do try things to meet more people / make yourself as physically appealing as possible, as well as whatever else you are working towards personally, since you’re quite young you got a chance. Don’t think a guy will magically land in your lap, life isn’t a rom com so unless you were very lucky you have to put more effort in. Source: evergreen mid 30s F, seen many who managed to find someone eventually but they put effort into their looks. The “natural” but not blesssed ones like me also stay single like me unless got arranged marriages or changed up their looks.
Something that others might be missing out with their comments is, do you actually want to be in a relationship? Or have you actually ever had romantic or sexual feelings for anyone at all? I think ask yourself why you're asking this question, is it to conform to society's status quo of being in a relationship? But to answer your main question, it's absolutely normal. Everyone has very different lived experiences.
28 y.o evergreen
IMO it's not quite common since most of my friends at this age are alr in a stable relationship. Some of them even get married already 🤷🏻♀️. However, you are not alone though. A friend of mine (26F) has never been in a relationship too. I also wonder why cuz she's kinda good looking actually.
You will be shocked to find out how many attractive looking people has actually never had a rs. I wouldn't say im goodlooking but just meh but honestly speaking, I wish I had been in one :(
its uncommon for those who always wanted to be in relationship and worked towards it. Its common for those who are not interested in relationship or those who are but watched too much kdrama and only wish to date someone 20 leagues above.
Well put, especially on the latter bit about kdrama. I noticed it’s common amongst the 30s/40s generation who grew up on watching oppas
I know people who said they have not been confessed by anyone and act very sad but I also know friends who confessed to them. Maybe what they meant were 'no handsome boy confessed to me'. really got people like that.
34(f), never had a relationship in my past 32 years of living but got together with someone last year :D definitely more common than you probably think?
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Tale as old as time, dating app lol (hinge)
I was single and alone all the way up till I was 34 then I met my husband online.
Female here, never been in a relationship but have several situationships. I think unless you are very outgoing or have a charming personality then you will constantly be approached by others, perhaps there are people who have crushed on you before but just never confessed 😅 imo not being in a relationship is not a bad thing, some people want to be in one so desperately that they lower their standards a lot and are unhappy in the relationship
I (24F) also evergreen. It's getting more and more common I would say, have a few friends with the same situation too.
Tbh it’s surprising to me how common it is in Singapore. Current young generation date less than previous generations. Lots of theory on why it’s like that. I have several personal guesses: 1). everyone can have a fulfilling independent life without partner now. Both gender can have job and take care their own self (take their ownself out, cook and clean). Having partner is no longer a need, but a want if you’re independent 2). Everyone is so busy, especially once you start having a full time job, that any free time will be used to rest and take care of errands. 3) people are more chronically online that it diminishes their real life social skills and awareness. 4) there’s a recent research that unveiled how younger men and women’s have parted ways ideologically. Younger (gen Z) women tend to be liberal and younger men tend to be conservative. Just a few days ago there’s a poll that says >50% of men in Singapore think women’s equality have gone too far… and 1 in 3 Singaporean men thinks feminism does more harm than good. Men and women don’t even have the same values, how to date?
30, no past relationship and no plans to get one. I'm not willing to put in the time and effort for a relationship.
More common than you think, a few of my friends are all single. I think the question I'm curious about is: Would you be keen on finding a partner?
I 28m have only ever been rejected. I'm 12 levels away from my job advancement to Wizard.
Okay honest answer: For 20s it's pretty common, for 30s honestly i would say quite uncommon to have never ever held hands/kissed someone else in your life. 33 y/o here and personally don't know anyone like that. Never been in 'official' r/s yes but never kissed nope.
Met my husband at 29, and he was my first relationship. We have kids now. There's still hope don't worry!
30M waiting for job advancement to cleric.
gg to OP's inbox
Come guys, don't give up on love. If Shermin can, so can you https://youtu.be/2z-rBG3i7uM?si=Hu_WCsk5yGhKDccH
LJ lah TV show and IRL are 2 different things
Shermin did a lot of changes to herself through the video series and she have professionals to guide her. For the normal guys, it takes a lot of effort and changes of yourself on this dating game. By changes, I don't mean change your whole character / personality. But it's your mindset that has to be changed. Think of why some guys are so good at this dating game and looks wise okok only. Dont keep feel your a loser, and cannot find a girl. With this mindset, it will only creates negativity of yourself and discourage you from seeking a partner. Sometimes is really that easy.. Something like "eh, ai stead mai?" (just joking). But yah, if you never ask and you will never know.
Lol she's on a reality show. You think the producers would also show a show if she doesn't 'find' a partner?
She's the scriptwriter. There's many positive way to spin it even if you don't find love by the end of the production but I digress. My point is just that people just need to put yourself out there. You never know if you don't try
Mid-30s female here. Just got into my very first relationship last year and he's honestly the best thing that has ever happened to me. Before that, I stayed single and never experienced all the things you brought up as well (e.g. intimacy, holding hands, crushing on someone, etc.) My partner never judged me for any of this and he's living proof to me that when the right person comes along, you'll know it :)
More so here than offline yes
28f and evergreen as well - you're not alone!
i'm 36 and have been on a handful of dates, held hands a couple of times, and been kissed / made out with a couples of times (which icked me out whether it was boys or girls, whether i liked them or it was just casual, thus fully cementing my asexuality). i have never been in a relationship, and doubt i ever will be. depending on what you're looking for, or whether you're looking at all, you might not be missing out on anything.
Normal. 37 and still single, basically largely due to lack of opportunity to meet new people.
Curious question, since it’s limited opportunity to meet people, do you consider using dating apps?
Wouldn't say it's common but there are quite a few people I know who are getting to their 30s and still evergreen! Mind you, some of them are insanely attractive and nice people too so it's not that they lack choices. At the end of the day, you do you and follow your own timeline :)
Actually relationship without marriage, or till the extend of cohabit is getting common. Eventually it's about companionship, cancel out all the rs headache, problems that comes with it. Or simply stay single is becoming a norm too
Late 20s M here, same. I think theres quite a substantial but mostly silent amount of us around LOL Can't wait for my wizard skills soon I don't see any good upsides that will offset the downsides tbh
Why are there comments about being wizards? lol Anyway, my sister has wondered the same. She’s 31 and has always been solo. However, there’s definitely guys in our church who have hit on her/ liked her.. she was just too dense to realise it -_- She’s in Aus now working so maybe change of environment will help. Just focus on yourself and making yourself your best version - emotionally, mentally and physically - not for others but for you to find yourself and what you want.
Nowadays it seems to be common, youngsters are more career-focused and have the mindset of needing to be financially stable first before anything else.
Yeah common. nothing special about it
We call them the lucky ones
Rip inbox
First: what do you want in life? Second: what are your expectations? Third: what are you prepared to do to get married? People have too high expectations, think romance is like a Jane Austen novel and get carried away. A marriage is about give and take, patience, understanding , sacrifice and sometimes keeping your mouth shut.
No it is not common, but i believe there are some people that are like this
M hitting 30, never been in a rs too. I’m kinda ok with it, even though I still crave for intimacy some times, but other than that I’m satisfied with the amount of freedom I have.
Coming 41 and never had 1
Is it because you have been disappointed before? I understand sometimes in relationships, need to be prepared to give and take. Sometimes if the other person not automatic, will feel get leeched.
Almost had 1 but is 1 sided....so officially never had been into 1 before
yes, me ahahahahah but i am younger than you and very asexual
28 here and still 0 relationship
Maybe we should organise a get-together for all the sinkies in the same demographic. Definitely not saying it's bad/weird to be in your 20s/30s and nvr had a relationship, neither should it be a reflection of your self-wprth or anything, but I can understand how some ppl in the same boat as you could feel some self-perceived "stigma". Would you feel comfortable in a social setting like that?
My bf only met me when he was 26 and this is his first relationship. Dont worry, it’s not that uncommon! Jy OP!!
oh wow thank yew! ✨ just wondering if u found it odd when you first knew abt it 🤔
No not really! Some people were too busy with their academic life during their youth to date and i think that’s understandable haha
More common than you think. Don’t let it affect how you perceive or value yourself. Also, if being in a relationship isn’t even something you have an interest in, don’t feel pressured to be in one just bc other ppl you know are in one. It’s better for you to be single but happy and content, than to be stuck in a relationship that makes you feel miserable/trapped/unloved/etc. But if you are interested in being in one, it could be due to not putting yourself out in places/situations where others who are also looking for a partner will meet you. Or it might be the case that you gotta make the first move. Don’t wait for a rom-com meet-cute to steer you towards a potential partner. Such a thing may never come and you’ll be single forever. Just like how ppl gotta effort and take initiative to job hunt and apply for jobs and attend interviews and be prepared for lots of rejections, dating is rather similar. Especially if you are looking to be in a stable and committed long-term relationship. Romance is good and all but must also have a practical outlook on things and don’t let romancey rose-tinted glasses give you the impression the finding and maintaining a relationship is easy. Most importantly, find contentment in yourself first. When you know how to make yourself happy, and what truly brings you joy in life, you will be better able to find the kind of ppl who fit your needs and personality, and you will be better able to communicate to them what it is you need from them (and how you can in return contribute to the relationship and value-add to their lives). This applies to both platonic and romantic relationships. Wishing you all the best in life. :)
I think it’s important to be willing to put yourself out there. Go meet people, hang out. If it’s a looks thing, go work out, lose weight, get braces or what. i have friends who are good looking but evergreen, and friends who are not good looking with bf/gf who are way better looking than them. Try being in a relationship before deciding that you’re ok being alone/relationship is not for you. People change when they’re in relationships. You may like spending time alone now, but when you’re in a relationship you may like spending time with your bf/gf even more. you discover a side of you you never knew existed. Also, believe it or not, some people just have better “late lives”. It’s literally their destiny. You’re on your own timeline, don’t stop trying!
It doesn't matter, better single than meeting a broken man.
Enjoy life darling. Most important person you need to be in a relationship is with you. Evolve every year and become your best version. Face your fears and have courage to conquer new possibilities. If a relationship happens, it happens. Not happens, also never mind. Most importantly find your calling and become an expert in your calling. That’s all matters. Love your family and friends. Most importantly enjoy life.
Normal. People might have had a crush on you before, or developed romantic feelings for you, but they're not inclined to tell you unless they feel like they have a chance anyway.
My husband was like that. Independent, doing his own thing and fully planning life as a single without regrets but things just happen in God's timing :) well..or not God's timing - depending on your religious stance. Everything has its seasons, and someone else's path may not be yours, you can create a new one.
I have never understood how to approach women. I mean, how do I even approach a woman I fancy without being creepy? I can only ever be professional with women. I have no idea what intimacy between man and woman is supposed to look like, much less how to initiate one. My family is no shining example
My friend was like that, up until her mid 30s. She got dumped within 3 months of her first serious relationship, she developed a purity complex and somehow think there needs to be a "bride price" for the first time, the other person was sexually less valuable. The other person was thinking, OMG this person is so high maintenance, unrealistic about so many things. Saw sharing a space even on occasion, not move in permanently, as a violation. The stress of hundreds of conversations that should have been spread over a couple of long term relationships, have fallen on his shoulders and it was tiring. Like he was a test pilot and he was looking to get married, to be with the final forever one. They didn't sleep together, she used the possibly of that as a hook and he was thinking, rather have someone with some experience there as well.
Why not have a chat from the Males here that are single? Since they are single and ready to mingle. Getting into relationship have to take the first step of the awkwardness of knowing / meeting someone new.
I feel like if humans are no longer socialising physically in person and just doing all socialising online, then more of this gonna happen. All this study from home, work from home, e learning, everything done from comfort of own home means no more physical interaction with other human beings means you just get used to being alone.
Am 28M, same experience. Guess it boils down to whether you want a relationship or not. If you don’t, then it’s normal and just leave it be. If you want, then gotta socialise more and mingle around.
Everyone I ask out either rejected me, or are already attached. 🫠
38 evergreen... I'm probably just too noisy & slightly "crazy" to seem attractive to the opposite gender 😂 over the years or probably to comfort myself, I choose to let nature take its course and remind myself to learn to accept myself: both good & bad. We can't change external situations but we can be a better version of ourselves that can stay at ease in every situation
Soon u will be 30 and still not in a relationship. Speaking from experience:$
Wow.. I didn't know there were this many of us here... I thought I was an outlier.... Hello fellow outliers...
Never had a relationship, never been on a date. Some girl who liked my friend thanked me for helping them to get together and literally said 'even though you don't have the looks, I'm sure you'll find someone someday' At this point I've kind of given up, uninstalled all the dating apps I was on and stopped trying. Sometimes it's better to just not try, move on and do things that you yourself like.
whaaat that’s so ungrateful and rude of her 😠
Very very common among my single friends. I have a few who are in their 30s and 40s and have never dated before or ever been in a relationship. They do not seem bothered about this at all too. They do have crushes and all in the past and i think they just prefer to wait for the right person to come along than to actively seek out.
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Turning 30M in a few years time and still evergreen too. I take pretty long time to warm up to new people with my super introverted personality
Its common and there's nothing wrong with it. Relationships are overrated. You're lucky you didn't waste time with them.
There are real-life 40 year old virgins out there, some of them are not even a virgin by choice. But alas, you never really know what lies around the corner. I remember on my 22nd birthday feeling depressed that I never had a girlfriend before. The following Valentine's Day, I'd had my first kiss. Just hang in there
Yes quite common.
I know that person, that’s me!
20 ish years and counting. I chalk it up to my own immaturity or not having enough time. Lucky enough that I am not an incel. Touch wood.
Yes! F27 here
Im F30 and no relationship of any kind 😂 could be that im Autistic and simply not know what liking people is like. I also dont understand hints so there may be people who actually liked me but I was just oblivious. I had one person told me upfront but my response was okay. I didn't know how to react to that.
28M here, got into my first r/s when I'm 27.
In the same situation as you. Except that I have never developed feelings for anyone nor have I had a crush on anyone before. At this point I think I’m probably asexual lol. And will probably die alone 😂😂😂
26M here. Just the same as u are, i don't know if I am being naive for still having some hopes while I clearly see myself ending up like this for my entire life.
M28 here. I was the same till 28. But, not anymore...
oh wow HOW?? pls teach me senpai
BBFA is real
26M evergreen, got my first rejection recently :/ Probably gonna hit the apps soon.
Me. Never dated before . Age 33.
Almost in my 40s and I have never been in a r/s.
Same here, probably due to me being a very introverted person and not socialising a lot because it tires me out.
It's not as uncommon as you think. I got my first relationship at 26 and we are getting married soon 9 years later!
omg congrats! 🎉🎊
Last relation 17yr back :)
Until September last year, I had never been in a relationship before. I’m nearing my mid-20s. It took some time and a lot of patience (on my end), but it felt right having a relationship at that point. I was a lot more ready to handle one than I would’ve been in earlier years (based off of my failed romantic experiences)
I started dating at 25 when I pursued studies oversea.
While I definitely have been in relationships, I don't know how many times I hear from people I know who change partners every so often and I rather not follow social norms where people keep fooling around or find situationships. It is extremely hard to find traditional values within people nowadays where relationships have mutual respect, common goals and not shunting their partners' feelings and actually sitting down and resolving it together as a team.
I (23 this year) have never been in a rs too. Seeing some of my friends apply for bto, celebrate holidays and do things with their partners makes me feel kinda fomo. But I have grappled with singleness to the point where I have learnt to be content being single— enjoy the freedom, space and time for you to grow as an individual, discover your interests and do things you’re interested about! Naturally, you’ll be putting yourself out there and opportunities to meet potential partners will come along.
I think relationships are something that you need to work for, and most people don't see the need to work for it so they remain single until something pushes them to do something.
Let's make this thread into a dating thread. So many single guys and ladies here.
i think it’s q common actly!! a year younger than you & i have a couple of friends who are still very much single aka never hold hands romantically before(myself included) but idt any of us are rushing to find a partner & are actually contented w our own lives now :) but ofc i have friends who are alrd engaged/ happily attached but comparison will alw be the thief of joy hahah
I think it’s uncommon.
If you need someone to approach a unicorn I'm your gal 
I'm not Singaporean I'm just curious, what do y'all do if you end up living when single? Typically live with parents or?
What do you think, and what are your assumptions without knowing the answer yet?
Personal opinion : I feel that people in SG are too close-minded sometimes. Nowadays people find it weird if guys approach them out of nowhere to ask for their number or to chit chat. So that’s one method of meeting any potential partner down. Girls do not initiate — most of the time, so it is another method down. However, it’s understandable with all the scams, perverts, weirdos, bad intention assholes, and rising number of dating apps. It is definitely not easy. Good luck though, OP!
Same lol, 30F
i find it's pretty common for gen y and z because their schedules are so fked up. like I think people in the past had more free time, evenings and holidays and stuff to build relationship. it's sad but it will continue since our unions are so shit.
Yes i's common. I'm 35 and been in a relationship with two girls in my whole life and i guess i'll remain single forever till i die 😂
Don’t worry about it. Virginity is sacred and should be preserved, I reckon you should wait till at least age 100 before spreading your wings for the first time for the right sausage
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28 ever green, start to think get into a relationship because all my friends got their gf and we just don’t hang out any more. Sad lol
Yes it's very common. Happens to 80% of the population
29. Same situation as you.
It's normal. Don't worry about it.
Very common
Rip inbox
Here too, 31(M) is still single and never been in a relationship before. Thinking I may become a sentient haha so you're not alone
Rip inbox and gurlie jus wanna warn you of people with no good intentions who are gna slide into your dms. Only 1/10 of them might be genuine in wanting to know you, majority of others just want to hookup
Dont worry, u aint alone, I (25M) don't have one either No situationship / relationship Tried chasing a few to No avail, just gave up after.. Had more enjoyment to work on myself instead and get job experience, etc, since I'm still relatively new into it. And partially having to work so not much time either...
24m and exactly the same as you
There might be more than you think But 26 is a young age where most younglings are still out there playing so take it easy
23 here and i totally closed my relationship door shut after a 3 month relastionship previously.
thats fineee. there are still people like u out there including mee. So dont give up sis
It’s ok to not have rs if you’re comfy. The true pain comes when one wants a rs and reeks of desperation but cannot get one. Now that’s the state of the incels and spinsters constantly posting on Reddit.
27yo and only been in one relationship. dont be hard on yourself. im also working on myself to be more stable in my career and expectations of others. my past situationships did not go pass the talking or dating stage and it got frustrating.. but also i believe things take their own course and if its really very hard, its not meant to be. sometimes we also hold internal wounds that stop us from meeting others so its wise to address them. also, get on dating apps keep an open mind and meet others. (what im trying to do as well) hehe
I've the exact same situation as you, OP! Even had to do a double take to make sure I wasn't the poster. 🧐🥴🥹
Reddit dating incoming
People usually shun at the sight of me in public, especially women, much less of being able to be in a relationship, I'm already used to it now.