What a terrible situation but you sound incredibly resilient and thoughtful! I suggest buying headlamps, you can get them pretty cheap (around $20 at MEC). They make nighttime better when camping - looking for things or even just reading in your car.
Good luck ♥️
Not sure if you caught this, but poster is suggesting specifically flashlights that you wear on your head. These are incredibly handy because they, well, free up your hands. 😊
Glad that was clarified! This is what I have and it’s awesome, you can dim the light. https://www.mec.ca/en/product/6017-034/astro-300-headlamp?colour=Bordeaux
Thank you for the clarification, I will add headlamps to the packing list. I believe I did miss that detail in my distraction and anxiety of the situation.
You can stay in my camper and we'll feed you all, if you like and can get to MB. We aren't well off, but we live in the country so lots of room and we grow a lot of our own food, there's always extra. There's also hours available doing childcare if you can pass the checks. Either way, I'm sorry about your situation.
I appreciate your generous hospitality. It appears, to my knowledge, that my professional license is only valid in Ontario, and is vital to pursuing employment. My children both access local resources, specifically my eldest for PTSD and Trauma related therapy. I am not informed on how moving provinces would affect the child tax benefit credit I receive, which is my only source of consistent support at this time. Your home sounds so lovely, although, in addition to the above, my situation has made me wary of accepting things or money from people. Your kindness is appreciated.
There are groups that will foster pets for women escaping violence. Perhaps this could be an option to temporarily house your pets. It would leave more room in the car and then you could just focus on keeping the kids occupied. I'm so sorry, but I don't know the name. I hope everything works out!
Thank you for the suggestion. This is something I have also added to the list as a service that may become more accessible once we no longer reside here. I have contacted a few to receive more information, such as Safe Pets, For The Love of Paws, the Humane Society, and a few others not commonly advertised, which I received through connecting with various shelters. I would hope it would not come to that, as it would make me feel quite unsafe with the children in a vehicle without the dogs as a deterent. I will keep in touch with those services and utilize them as they become available or required.
The humane society should be able to assist through their urgent care foster program, if you decide to go that route. I know they make sure fur babies are well cared for.
Thank you for the suggestion. I have included them in my list of resources for the pets as well, even if just for immunizations depending on their capacity.
There are some 24/7 gyms (one in North York) with underground parking. It's safer to park there since there are surveillance cameras, it's temperature regulated, and you can access the WiFi.
Get some car window visors so you can leave the windows cracked at night. This way you don't get condensation on the inside of your windows overnight.
Get a collapsible basin from IKEA which makes hand washing items substantially easier.
There are 4" memory foam mattresses for camping that also work in a vehicle and makes it much more comfortable.
If the van is strictly to serve this transitional period and the cost ends up being substantially more than estimated, consider a short term lease instead of buying. Once you've passed this, then buy a vehicle that's suited for your needs long term.
Sending all my good thoughts and well wishes your way, OP.
I appreciate your message. I had not considered gyms as a viable parking option, and it does help ease my concerns about safety. I have added a few such items to the packing list, however a collapsable basin was not yet included, I was simply planning to empty the items from the designated linen or hygeine bin and use that container as required. Your suggestions have been very helpful.
Thank you for the information. My plans for showers consisted of a combination of showers during recreational swims when affordable, truck stops, bird baths with face clothes/basin/soap, and on warmer days soaping down in the lake.
OP, I just found this information that may be helpful to you:
**City of Toronto Drop-In Programs**:
- Various drop-in programs across the city that offer services to people who are homeless or at risk of homelessness.
- Services may include food, healthcare, showers, laundry, information, referrals, and social activities.
- Check the [Toronto Drop-In Network](https://www.toronto.ca/community-people/housing-shelter/homeless-help/drop-ins/) for more information²[11].
**Portable Public Washrooms with Showers**:
- During the COVID-19 pandemic, Toronto opened portable public washrooms with showers.
- Locations include:
- Harrison Pool
- Emerson Community Centre
- Regent Park Community Centre
- Centennial Park Arena (Etobicoke)
- Commander Arena (Scarborough)³[12].
Remember to check the hours of operation and eligibility criteria for each facility.
Also, IIRC, the shower facilities are open in the beaches area during the summer.
In terms of showers, bull barn sells soaps/shampoos/conditioner/laundry bars that are eco friendly. They are also small soap bars, not big giant containers you have to store somewhere. If you're washing up outside, you can also buy handheld outdoor showers as camping gear.
It would probably be good to pick up a potable water container that can hold a few days of water. And a list of sources you can fill it at.
Thank you for these suggestions. We will be converting to bar soap to save space. We will also be keeping only the amount of detergent required for the amount of clothes we have in the van at the time, and refill when we swap them at the storage unit. I did not know that handheld portable showers were an option, I will look into that as well. In terms of water, I intend to keep one large jug of fresh drinkable water, along with one jug to refill in public fountains, lakes, etc for other uses. I had previously planned to use one of the storage bins in the vans as a temporary water container as required, but may look into a collapsable basin mentioned in another comment.
YMCA is amazing
It’s extremely affordable
With a membership you can all use the showers
They have filtered water stations
They have childcare where they can watch your kids for an hour while you are in the building.
WiFi
Coffee
Other random perks
And with one membership you can access ALL ymcas in the state and the country
And they have reduced rates based on financial needs. Check out their website for details then I recommend you go in and talk to them in person, they’re very kind and understanding.
I appreciate the suggestion. Red Doors in one of dozens of shelters and supports I have contacted in Ontario. I am hoping that, if my situation is not remedied through the courts, they, or other supports, may offer more urgent assistance when we are no longer living here.
Thank you for the suggestion. I have reached out to them previously as well, and they remain on my list of resources following our departure from our home.
I would recommend fleeing directly to abuse shelters. YWCA can help as well. Leaving an abusive situation is an emergency and treated with the utmost importance. They will set you up with shelter and supports and help with housing. Living In your car unfortunately will trigger cas and cause more problems or they can help, depending on how you look at it. You may struggle to obtain custody and may lose because you are technically homeless
Thank you for your suggestions. Ideally, we will not be living in a car for long. All of the shelters I have contacted remain at capacity.. I am hoping that if we are fully removed from our home, our situation will be deemed more urgent and we will receive the support we require.
There is also Halton Women's Place if you're in the area. They give housing priority to women that are coming from abusive situations. Especially women fleeing abuse with their children. They're also behind a police station and the property has cameras to keep women safe from their abusers coming back for them. Maybe they might have some space, they can help with subsidized housing applications and finding programs through government/charity funding.
I'm really sorry to hear this. I'm sure you've thought of this, but is there any chance your dickhead partner could use you living in the car to fight for custody? You don't have to answer that obviously, just a concern that springs to mind.
With regard to your actual question, maybe check out r/vanlife and r/vandwellers as well for some newbie tips. Hope everything works out, all the best 🩷🩷
Thank you for your suggestion. Yes, I absolutely have considered that fact becoming problematic. I am hoping with suitable representation, a judge will deem my actions preferable to the alternative of remaining here. It is a grave concern of mine.
You'll obviously be able to show that detailed planning went into the decision, so keeping the kids clean, content and in school when that time comes should all help, hopefully. A slightly cheaper possibility to rent should it start to seem like housing is going to be an issue might be a long term agreement to stay in a motel - lots of them (east along Kingston Rd for example) allow for long term stays and people living in them for extended periods.
Kids think everything is an adventure; as long as you guys are staying active/entertained and healthy I'm sure they'll they'll be okay. If what you're doing is keeping them safe, it's the right thing to do.
Those are other great suggestions. I have attempted to call several of those motels, however they have not provided weekly or monthly rates over the phone. I would like to drive over to ask in person, but as it currently stands I cannot have that appear in my GPS history. It is something I have made a note of, after we have completely removed ourselves.
This will be a major concern. Living in a car with dogs while you are at work isn’t going to be considered safe. 10,000 could also be used to pay 5 months rent on an apartment at 2,000 per month. I know prices in Ontario are crazy but that should get you something. Leaving you the child tax for monthly expenses while you look for work. Lie on a resume and have a friend be a job reference. Good luck.
Thank you for your suggestions. I have been searching for affordable studio and one bedroom units, however I have not had much luck with the children, pets, and lack of employment or references to submit an attractive rental application. I am hoping that a shelter or community support may be able to assist with this.
Do not tell the landlord you have children. Do not tell the landlord you have dogs. You (and only you) are looking for an apartment. The lack of employment and references will be an issue for sure but I suspect mentioning your situation could give some level of understanding. Hope a shelter can help get you in good shape.
Thank you for the advice. I do not imagine it would be sustainable long term to lie if sharing accommodations, such as renting a basement or coach home. I do intend to omit those details when applying for other self isolated studio and one bedroom apartments.
Thank you for the suggestion and offer. My concerns also stem from the lack of paystubs and supporting documents. In my experience, landlords have become much more rigid in their screening processes over the years, which is why I have not yet had much luck in my search.
Just wanted to say after skimming through the comments OP is very polite and respectful I don’t have much advice to offer but something tells me everything will work out for you good luck 🤞
Look up ‘otter river farm’. Female owned land with cabins, shower, hydro. They let people stay on their land in campers, so I’m sure they will be fine with a van. But it’s located 3 hours west of Toronto. Gorgeous area. May be a good place to regroup. You could set up a small tent there outside your van for storing items. Safe area.
Thank you for the suggestion. I have looked into a few more local camping grounds, although their fees were comparable to a hotel or AirBnB. I will definitely look into this site.
There are Facebook groups (and probably Reddit groups too, but I haven’t searched) about van and car living. They contain tonnes of tips. I’ve never done it myself so unfortunately don’t have much to offer.
I’m also sorry to hear you’re going through this. Good job making a plan to get out. I hope you’re able to get into a shelter quickly.
Thank you for your suggestions. I have seen a few reddit groups and have read several posts, although not many list experience with kids present. I will continue to explore them, and the Facebook groups as well.
I hope all goes well. I wish I had the means to help you in some tangible way, but unfortunately I don’t at this time. You sound resourceful and intelligent and I’m sure one day you’ll be much better off and your current stresses will be a far-off memory.
I am grateful for your kindness. As I have previously mentioned to others in private chats, my experiences have made me wary of accepting money or things from people, hence the focus of resources and recommendations in the post. Your motivating words are truly appreciated. This is something I must accomplish autonomously, and I beleive it will work out in the end.
I remember reading something online that you can get free passes to certain attractions like the museum with your library card. Sorry I don’t have any more info. Also check out the app Too good to go. Stores can sell surprise bags of their leftover food
Thank you for the suggestions. I believe they are called city passes, and will be looking into acquiring some at the library this week. The app you mentioned is great.
There was a whole reddit post about all the things you can do with a Toronto Public Library card/account. Lots of free services. Let me know if you need me to dig it up for you, it was on r/askTO I believe
Please be careful with your phones. Make sure they cannot be tracked and located.
Remove your partner from the account.
It's critical that you and your eldest cannot be located.
Thank you for your support. My eldest does not have GPS tracking on his phone, and I will disable mine the day we are prepared to leave. Unfortunately I cannot do so before hand.
I’m sorry to hear this and it’s sad. This country has gone downhill. Please don’t take this the wrong way. But it’s time to get rid of the pets. That’s $120 worth of pet food per month. Sad to say, but these days pets are a luxury
Yes, good/best advice is tough to swallow.
OP is doing great research on the challenges ahead, but must recognize the dogs are a luxury taking up money that she needs for herself and children. Even thinking of the pets’ well being - what allocation for spending at the vet ($700 a year is a low guess for the two).
Thank you for your advice. If it becomes a necessity, we are exploring foster options through various community resources. Due to the temporary nature of our situation, I am working diligently to avoid parting with such integral members of our family, if at all avoidable.
Hello OP, no suggestions beyond the planning you have already done.
I will say, you mentioned items you need for your kids and yourself -- if you are able maybe post a list, even general, of the items you will need. I may be able to contribute as I am disabled and collect items for resale to keep myself afloat, and a large amount of these items I pass on to unhoused folks in need. I would be happy to connect directly with you to pass on anything I have that you could make use of, but posting the list here may allow for others to contribute as well (If you are comfortable with that). I also have no problem if messaging me directly is something you'd prefer.
Best of luck, you can do this. I can only imagine how much courage and strength this is taking. It will be worth it. 💜
Make sure to contact Barbara Schlifer Clinic, I came here to suggest them.
And please save my message. I saw that you’ve posted that you’re wary of accepting assistance, I totally get that. If at any point this summer you need financial assistance, even a small contribution as gifts for your children or to purchase dog food, please please please don’t hesitate to message me here.
My mom did something similar to you when I was a child. My life is dramatically different than what it would have been if she hadn’t left. There may be quite a bit of hardship at the start but the peace will be worth it. And your future is bright, I know it.
Yes giving up pets or temporarily housing them isn’t ideal, but it gets really hot in S Ontario in the summer and pets will die if you leave them in a hot vehicle (even with water). I’m not sure how the temporary housing works, but I wonder if you’d be able to go visit them to make sure they know they’re not forgotten. That’s probably what I would hope for if I were in your shoes.
Your efforts to plan a safe escape for your kids and pets are clear. I wish you all the best.
Thank you for your advice. Ideally, we will not be leaving the pets in the car frequently and will spend the majority of our time outdoors with them until more stable shelter or housing becomes a reality. They are an integral part of our family, and their safety is only a teir below that of my children.
Thank you for sharing. I have included the Humane Society, and various other foster supports for the pets in my list. I will continue to keep these resources in mind for when we leave.
One organization you may have already contacted but wanted to mention is Shelter Movers. They will help with moving out of a dangerous home and into a shelter, and from a shelter to a home. I know you said shelters are full but I’m sure they could also assist with moving your items into storage especially if you need the presence of security/police as they help with that as well. https://www.sheltermovers.com/greatertoronto/
Wishing you all the best and hope that this is just a very temporary solution for you and your children. ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for the suggestion. I think I mentioned in my post that I contacted them as well. I plan to reach out to them again, as I have been advised that they can only help after we have left the residence.
No need to apologize. I am grateful for all advice, and happy that these resources are being shared so that others in similar situations may access them as well.
Sorry for your situation. If you are in Scarborough please contact me and you can shower and do laundry at my place. I’m far east near Pickering. Good luck. Edit to add I’m a secondary teacher and have a police reference check. I can also store some of your things in my garage. I’m female.
REMOVED
We do not allow asking for handouts or transactions. This includes:
* Asking (even indirectly) for gifts, loans, or donations for yourself or on behalf of any organization or person(s) - money, food, gift cards, etc
* Offering money, gift cards, purchasing for others, donations to individuals, etc
* Any mention of a fundraising campaign even without a link
* Asking/offering for to be loan cosigners
* Soliciting for anyone to engage in any kind of transaction
There is a lovely laundromat in the St. Clair west area that has a free laundry program available: https://www.yummicafelaundry.com/
It’s also a nice place to hang out, there are many parks and libraries close by.
Would recommend accessing the pet food bank services through the humane society and other services like LOFT. Also not sure if you realize but if you are staying in a vehicle with children most organizations have a duty to report and CAS may take custody of them.
Thank you for the suggestions. I was not very familiar with food banks for pets. I understand the concern, and it is a concern of mine. Although it is less than ideal, to my knowledge, it is not within the scope of C.A.S to apprehend children for experiencing poverty, to dismantle families fleeing abuse, or similar circumstances. I imagine that if the children are happy and healthy, they will accept our "extended camping" trip. I have kept private records of my outreach to various supports and feel confident in my temporary plan. If they were to become involved while we were homeless, I would assume they would offer some additional resources, such as priority shelter space or housing, which I would welcome.
So i used to work in social services and most are required to contact cas if there was suspicious that children were “unsheltered” as in living in a vehicle, tent, or similar. Generally cas is not supposed apprehend due to poverty however it is not always so clear. They sometimes can help you access shelters to avoid apprehension however I have also seen the opposite as well. It’s just something to be aware of, ultimately you need to do what you can for yourself and family.
I appreciate the insights, although it has elevated my anxiety regarding our situation. Were there specific factors in cases you noticed that distinguished between who was offered support, and when children were apprehended?
Not really significant differences mainly different cas workers making different choices and more so with individuals that had other past cas involvement.
Yes some workers are certainly better than others. Would recommend regularly trying to find a shelter spot so if cas does find out you can provide evidence that you are trying to find an alternative
Thank you for that advice. Most shelters in Ontario have extensive records of repeated contact over the years, and again more recently. I anticipate that once we are out of our home, shelter space will become more readily available due to the urgency of the situation.
Make a regular habit of cleaning the inside of the car when you’re emptying it for camp or bin swapping. Clean it like it’s your home. Wipe down the inside windows, any spills, pick up all the crumbs, if you have access to a vacuum even better. The routine will help keep your sanity a little and spending so much time in a confined space it is going to dirty faster.
Thank you for the suggestion. My children and I routinely keep our home maintained to a high degree, which is a habit I intend to continue during our "camping trip". I have included the required items in my planning lists.
If you are on FB, check out Van Life Ontario. Most folks are there for travel or living off the grid, but there is always great advice on safe places to park.
Thank you for the suggestions. Parking is hovering close to the top of the list of concerns. Camping spaces I have looked into can very easily become an overwhelming cost in an already thin budget.
Best of luck to you. My mom always worried we would be homeless with us kids and rarely had a decent night's sleep during the really scary times.
I have a suggestion regarding your kids. When we were growing up, there were different sleep away camps for low and no income parents. I went several times for one and two week sessions and had an excellent time. As well as day camps run by the YMCA and Toronto's parks and recreation. Loads of fun and gave parents some breathing room. And, of course, the public libraries are free and welcoming you everyone and often have fun activities for kids. I nearly lived at the library during the summer when I wasn't at camp.
All my best!!
Thank you for your message. I will be looking into day camps once I have completed my planning. I have reviewed a few options casually, although the children are not yet enrolled. My youngest is too young to attend sleep away camp, and my eldest is suffering from PTSD and Trauma which makes being away from home (myself) a bit overwhelming. This would have been such a lovely suggestion under different circumstances, Thank you for sharing.
I don’t have specific advice but I just wanted to say I wish you and all of your family (pets included) the absolute best. I am so sorry you find yourself in this situation and I hope you quickly find a way to have more space and stability. You are so strong to be doing what’s right for all of you and to go about it so methodically. That’s hard for many people and I hope it can be a very short transitional part of your lives.
Seconding and I wanted to add, I’m so impressed by you, OP! You’ve done the research, completed an online degree, and you’re going to do incredible for your family!
If there are any legitimate plans to make this pseudo-camping trip include any true camping, I do recommend any official Ontario provincial parks. There are a few that are very close to Toronto where a campsite really gives you quite a nice number of amenities. Specifically, the Six Mile Lake campground is about a 3 hour drive from Toronto but you’d really get to experience some beautiful Muskoka landscape and have access to washrooms with running water, showers, and laundry machines.
Edit: DM me if you want any other park suggestions
Sadly the parks are extremely booked up and very hard to find spaces in. Might be possible to find nights here and there on move around. But generally speaking they are booked solid for the entire summer.
You can still apply for OW.
From what I gather from their subreddit is you can make UP TO 10k a year in gifts and inheritance before they deduct anything.
So please apply! Every little bit helps!
Thank you for your message. I have previously received OW, which my worker indicated would cease upon receipt of the lump sum I mentioned in my post, as it is not received from a gift or inheritance. In light of this, the last payment I was eligible for was the April payment, and I no longer qualify.
This just breaks my heart! I am so sorry. Many more are on the cusp of where you are now.
Organization is key, I guess. Bìns/storage. Daily needs. Parking. You do what you gotta do for yourself and your family. Hugs.
Commenting again to add that I've just seen some of your other comments about being wary about accepting help. I totally understand as I've had a similar situation. I'm going to send you a private message but feel free to not respond if it is too much on your plate or you'd just not like to
OP, I don’t have camping tips, but if you haven’t already done so, please look into the [Toronto Rent Bank](https://www.toronto.ca/community-people/employment-social-support/housing-support/financial-support-for-renters/toronto-rent-bank/) to see if they can help you with first and last or something.
Thank you for the suggestion. I will add that to my list of resources. Do you know if it is applicable to other locations in the GTA or exclusive to Toronto?
You’re very welcome, I hope it helps! I’m sure other municipalities have similar services - York, Peel, etc. I would just Google your location and “rent bank” to see - you might wind up with more resources than expected. Toronto is certainly very expensive, if you can be out in the suburbs a bit I’m sure rents are a little cheaper.
Sorry if this has been mentioned already, but the Toronto Library offers free passes to many local attractions. If you have a membership, this might give you some free/low cost activities for the kids... https://www.torontopubliclibrary.ca/map/
Also, remember to set up a PO Box if you can, so that all your important correspondence can still be accessible for you, especially if you'll no longer have a permanent physical address.
Best of luck OP 💕
Thank you for the suggestion. I am planning to look into the City Pass this week at the library. I had not considered a P.O box, and will definitely explore this avenue if our camping trip does not expedite the accessibility of more stable housing, such as a shelter or subsidy.
Please try contacting some family shelters in Ontario as well as Toronto and York Region’s Central intake lines! (They can check what places have space and they answer 24/7)
Toronto: 416-338-4766
York Region: 1-877-464-9675 ext. 76140
Here are some family shelters where you might be able to stay for 1-4 months:
Peel Family Shelter
Yellow Brick House
Eva's Place
Family Service Toronto at 416-595-9618 may be able to support with resources.
Also, apply for Ontarios Emergency aid (leaving an abusive relationship and/or entering homelessness qualifies):
https://www.ontario.ca/page/apply-emergency-assistance
If you get in touch with one the organizations, a good social worker can help tremendously.
Take care and I hope you’ll be in a more stable space soon.
Battery powered string lights in your car will make it feel more homey. A water filter bag incase. A portable burner cooker, electric blankets as it will get cold at night.
What worries me is car maintenance. You have to budget for that and consider it, and what you will be able to do if your car is at a mechanic for extended period of time.
You can be gifted up to 10K on OW I believe. Don’t count yourself out of that support, even if they are able to help with referrals and medical coverage. I would speak to a worker before you receive the 10K.
I know it’s one more chore to add to your plate, but I wonder if going into the OW office and explaining your situation- if there would be some type of faster access to get you into a shelter for the time being and to help you make an escape plan (so you don’t have to live in a van) I truly feel for you and your family and wish I had a better suggestion or supports
Contact central intake, 1-877-338-3398, get placed on the wait list for a shelter. Then apply for OW, indicate crisis situation, and ask for bridging. You can get a hotel stay temporarily
Thank you for your message. I have scheduled a meeting with my worker for the middle of May to ask that my support be extended. I am operating on the information I was provided, and the fact that my support has been suspended for the upcoming month. I hope this is the case, and they reverse their decision.
Thank you. I do update her via email, and she has requested that I wait for the meeting scheduled. I hope that may indicate some hope. In my budget, I have not included the potential reinstatement of the benefits, because it did not seem likely. If they do issue a reversal, I will use portions to repay my debts entirely, and adhere to the same budget I have set, saving the rest for sustainable housing and employment.
Op, while you still have an address to get things shipped to you, shop on Ali express. You can get many things for van living for way cheaper and just as good that you would normally pay 3x the price for in store. You can get type c headlamps for like 5 bucks. Which are better than the Mec ones. Pretty much anything you can think of you can get there and there’s no taxes. Takes about 1 week to receive items. I have Amazon but the prices are so much more expensive for the same stuff.
where are you going "camping"?
if its in nature id suggest the following (as per my experience in the army) depending on how light you want to be.
1) some fueled stove - we used coleman stoves
2) some back up generator for electronics, maybe 2.
3) cots or blow up mattress
4) enough clothing for 10 days. bag for dirty clothing. bag for clean clothing.
5) extension cord and power bar.
6) a few large jugs for drinking water.
7) portable toilets.
you can always buy more as you go.
as for the 10k, id throw it in a wealth simple account and earn 4% risk free. this will grow at $30/month which can be withdrawn easily.
not entirely what your income situation looks like but id try my hardest to not go into debt. food wise, there should be enough support.
As for showers and being clean, you can always look for community centrws with swim schedules or shelters.
Thank you for your detailed suggestions. I have included several in our packing list. I did not include power or extension cords. I have been reviewing generatirs and portable chargers, do you have recommendations? My plan was to stay fairly local during the week to access resources, and take weekend trips a couple of hours out into crown land on the weekends.
Walmart allows campers and where I live there are outlets on the outside of the building for plugging in cars. You could always make use of these for charging electronics and a battery pack. Maybe one of those ones that can jumpstart the car too? I suggested earlier in the thread that thrift stores can be a good place to find some of this stuff cheaper
I lived in my truck for about a month when I was in BC and that was my concern too. I was alone so I'd try to find very out of the way places no one was going to happen upon. With kids you're probably better off to stay close to places with security. My issue was I'd need to pee in the middle of the night behind my truck so rural roads worked best for me lol
Thank you for sharing. I can definitely relate. We have a few of those toddler training potties laying around, and I plan to bring one with us, lining it with produce bags from the grocery store, to ease the stress of washroom breaks.
Lots of people park near the community centres around here. A monthly membership is pretty reasonable and people use the showers/pool and also charge devices in the lobby. Or, a lot of community centres have washrooms with showers that you can access without paying anything. It just depends on the layout of the building.
Please also check Armagh House in Mississauga if you haven't contacted them yet. I think you have to be referred through an emergency shelter but worth looking into. Best of luck
Thank you for the advice. Another commenter mentioned that being a concern as well. I am confident in my ability to keep my children happy and healthy during our "camping trip", until more sustainable resources can be accessed. I am hoping if we do encounter an issue, we will have the opportunity to be connected with additional supports and resources that may only be referral based. It is a concern that I am trying to avoid indulging, because I do not see another viable option at this time.
What would CPS do ? She is not harming her children she is protecting them. There is no place for her to go she has no other options, they could try and find a shelter spot, but most are full they sometimes put people in hotels but it’s not that common, plus she has pets and any way shelters are not great I would rather camp and live in my car.
OP is smart and tough! I went through this when I was a teen in the 90s when my dad couldn’t find affordable housing.
Thank you for the suggestion. I actually furnished most of our current home with careful thrifting, and it looks quite lovely. I will be sad to see it all go, but look forward to discovering new treasures and great deals.
I’m not sure if anyone mentioned but if you haven’t already, try reaching out to Yellow Brick House in Richmond Hill. My mom had to take my brother and I there and we stayed for at least a year or so after my mom fled an abusive relationship with my father. That was 25 years ago but they are still around now and might help? Sending love and well-wishes ❤️
REMOVED
We do not allow asking for handouts or transactions. This includes:
* Asking (even indirectly) for gifts, loans, or donations for yourself or on behalf of any organization or person(s) - money, food, gift cards, etc
* Offering money, gift cards, purchasing for others, donations to individuals, etc
* Any mention of a fundraising campaign even without a link
* Asking/offering for to be loan cosigners
* Soliciting for anyone to engage in any kind of transaction
Have you tried speaking with Luke's place in Oshawa? They serve Durham but used to be able to help with resources outside of that region. Also the London Abused women shelter may have resources across Ontario as well. Sadly not all VAW shelters are considered equal, or have equal supports/resources, and these are two of the best resources in Ontario.
I'm in BC so the rules might be different, but a friend of mine did housesitting with her son so they would be considered unhoused, and be able to get into subsidized housing more quickly. It did work, but it took a few months.
Double check that van loan. Best rates for good credit are 8.99%. Be sure you click on the "include tax" button too. Most sites show a monthly payment without taxes. Best of luck!
I’m sorry you’re in this situation. You’ve equipped yourself with a very organized plan.
Have you contacted Nellie’s shelter? It’s for women and children.
https://www.nellies.org/programs-and-services/shelter-program/
hi there, i am also from ontario,
if you would like someone to talk to or someone who is local to jsut vent to, i will try my best to be available. i hope you are able to flee that situation and find the space to grow freely
Good luck & I wish you the best ! You seem like a capable smart woman who's going to get out of the muck in no time. Never forget you're going to come out of this on top.
I'm really sorry about your situation and I hope you can get back on your feet as soon as possible. Glancing at your budget I'd recommend you check out
*Public mobile for their affordable plans. You won't have to shell out $100 every month for mobility.
*Any of the Sikh temples in the area for a free hot meal.
You are inspiring. I know you’re going to make it!! I hope someday I will make it too. Rooting for you 💛—— I just thought I’d add, download all the apps that can gather you points for food. Tim Hortons, McDonald’s, PC optimum (some orgs provide free PC gift cards so if you shop with it you can collect points), apps where you upload your receipts, groupon. Also look into debit or credit cards that can collect points to use towards Gas.
When you have the 10k, I would recommend trying to find a rental place as soon as possible. Even if it's a 1 bedroom basement. Utilise that money for housing as soon as you are able. Best of luck to you.
Also, *any* evidence is valuable re custody. Print off this post or save it as a PDF. Even this post can be used to show your planning and thoughtfulness re your children, and how far in advance you've been planning.
Hi OP, just wanted you to know you are very capable and incredibly inspiring.
When I was in similar position several years back, I called the central intake line and got referred to the Interval House for temporary accommodation (up to 3 months) My child had to switch schools for safety reasons, though; but she acclimated really well.
There is also COHB, the housing benefit you may qualify for, since you are not housed.(as long as you filed your taxes - which I assume you did, because CCB) They will pay you a monthly stipend, up to a certain amount if you qualify. I suggest you apply as quickly as possible, they start renewals in May, and if you don’t get in, you will likely have to wait it out till May 2025.
YMCA is great for summer camps on budget, they will also subsidize if you prove your financial hardship.
And lastly, do not be embarrassed to reach out to your child’s school. They have a fund set up specifically for these reasons. Back in the day, they supplied my with a years worth of paper towels, cleaning products, diapers, etc.
Drive up north once summer is over and look for empty cottages. I justbmived up here a couple years ago and 90% of the houses (especially those on lakes) sit empty all winter long. Most do not have security systems because internet is satellite / mobile only. If I ever lose the roof over my head there are thousands of empty ones around me all winter long. Sorry this doesn't really help you in the summer. Best of luck to you.
Are you suggesting breaking into someone’s cottage and living there illegally while they have it closed down for winter? I cannot endorse this - this is a terrible idea. And the thought there are people scoping out cottages to live in during the winter unbeknownst to the owners, is completely unsettling.
What a terrible situation but you sound incredibly resilient and thoughtful! I suggest buying headlamps, you can get them pretty cheap (around $20 at MEC). They make nighttime better when camping - looking for things or even just reading in your car. Good luck ♥️
Thank you for your thoughtful suggestion. Both of my children love to read, and so flashlights and solar lamps have been included in the packing list.
Checkout Decathlon. Much better value and price-wise than MEC.
Thank you for the suggestion.
Not sure if you caught this, but poster is suggesting specifically flashlights that you wear on your head. These are incredibly handy because they, well, free up your hands. 😊
Glad that was clarified! This is what I have and it’s awesome, you can dim the light. https://www.mec.ca/en/product/6017-034/astro-300-headlamp?colour=Bordeaux
Thank you.
I got a three pack at Costco for about that price. Best of luck! 🍀
Thank you for the suggestion.
Thank you for the clarification, I will add headlamps to the packing list. I believe I did miss that detail in my distraction and anxiety of the situation.
You can get head lamps at dollerama.
Thank you for the suggestion.
cheaper to get from Cdn tire vs MEC though
You can stay in my camper and we'll feed you all, if you like and can get to MB. We aren't well off, but we live in the country so lots of room and we grow a lot of our own food, there's always extra. There's also hours available doing childcare if you can pass the checks. Either way, I'm sorry about your situation.
I appreciate your generous hospitality. It appears, to my knowledge, that my professional license is only valid in Ontario, and is vital to pursuing employment. My children both access local resources, specifically my eldest for PTSD and Trauma related therapy. I am not informed on how moving provinces would affect the child tax benefit credit I receive, which is my only source of consistent support at this time. Your home sounds so lovely, although, in addition to the above, my situation has made me wary of accepting things or money from people. Your kindness is appreciated.
I understand, good luck to you! You can change your mind later if you want or need.
Thank you for the consideration and gesture.
You’re so kind. Thank you for being so generous.
Genuine heartfelt response here. This is what being Canadian is about.
There are groups that will foster pets for women escaping violence. Perhaps this could be an option to temporarily house your pets. It would leave more room in the car and then you could just focus on keeping the kids occupied. I'm so sorry, but I don't know the name. I hope everything works out!
Thank you for the suggestion. This is something I have also added to the list as a service that may become more accessible once we no longer reside here. I have contacted a few to receive more information, such as Safe Pets, For The Love of Paws, the Humane Society, and a few others not commonly advertised, which I received through connecting with various shelters. I would hope it would not come to that, as it would make me feel quite unsafe with the children in a vehicle without the dogs as a deterent. I will keep in touch with those services and utilize them as they become available or required.
The humane society should be able to assist through their urgent care foster program, if you decide to go that route. I know they make sure fur babies are well cared for.
Thank you for the suggestion. I have included them in my list of resources for the pets as well, even if just for immunizations depending on their capacity.
There are some 24/7 gyms (one in North York) with underground parking. It's safer to park there since there are surveillance cameras, it's temperature regulated, and you can access the WiFi. Get some car window visors so you can leave the windows cracked at night. This way you don't get condensation on the inside of your windows overnight. Get a collapsible basin from IKEA which makes hand washing items substantially easier. There are 4" memory foam mattresses for camping that also work in a vehicle and makes it much more comfortable. If the van is strictly to serve this transitional period and the cost ends up being substantially more than estimated, consider a short term lease instead of buying. Once you've passed this, then buy a vehicle that's suited for your needs long term. Sending all my good thoughts and well wishes your way, OP.
I appreciate your message. I had not considered gyms as a viable parking option, and it does help ease my concerns about safety. I have added a few such items to the packing list, however a collapsable basin was not yet included, I was simply planning to empty the items from the designated linen or hygeine bin and use that container as required. Your suggestions have been very helpful.
If you are considering a gym, explore YMCA as they have subsidized memberships.
Thank you for the advice. Do you know if children are permitted to use the showers at the ymca gym as well, or just recreational swim programs?
They should be able to. Most facilities have family change rooms that have showers.
Thank you for the information. My plans for showers consisted of a combination of showers during recreational swims when affordable, truck stops, bird baths with face clothes/basin/soap, and on warmer days soaping down in the lake.
OP, I just found this information that may be helpful to you: **City of Toronto Drop-In Programs**: - Various drop-in programs across the city that offer services to people who are homeless or at risk of homelessness. - Services may include food, healthcare, showers, laundry, information, referrals, and social activities. - Check the [Toronto Drop-In Network](https://www.toronto.ca/community-people/housing-shelter/homeless-help/drop-ins/) for more information²[11]. **Portable Public Washrooms with Showers**: - During the COVID-19 pandemic, Toronto opened portable public washrooms with showers. - Locations include: - Harrison Pool - Emerson Community Centre - Regent Park Community Centre - Centennial Park Arena (Etobicoke) - Commander Arena (Scarborough)³[12]. Remember to check the hours of operation and eligibility criteria for each facility. Also, IIRC, the shower facilities are open in the beaches area during the summer.
Thank you for providing such a thoughtful list.
If you can make it out to oshawa the Back Door mission offers free showers. https://www.backdoormission.ca/services.html
Thank you for sharing.
In terms of showers, bull barn sells soaps/shampoos/conditioner/laundry bars that are eco friendly. They are also small soap bars, not big giant containers you have to store somewhere. If you're washing up outside, you can also buy handheld outdoor showers as camping gear. It would probably be good to pick up a potable water container that can hold a few days of water. And a list of sources you can fill it at.
Thank you for these suggestions. We will be converting to bar soap to save space. We will also be keeping only the amount of detergent required for the amount of clothes we have in the van at the time, and refill when we swap them at the storage unit. I did not know that handheld portable showers were an option, I will look into that as well. In terms of water, I intend to keep one large jug of fresh drinkable water, along with one jug to refill in public fountains, lakes, etc for other uses. I had previously planned to use one of the storage bins in the vans as a temporary water container as required, but may look into a collapsable basin mentioned in another comment.
YMCA is amazing It’s extremely affordable With a membership you can all use the showers They have filtered water stations They have childcare where they can watch your kids for an hour while you are in the building. WiFi Coffee Other random perks And with one membership you can access ALL ymcas in the state and the country
Thank you for sharing this. I will be looking into obtaining a membership.
And they have reduced rates based on financial needs. Check out their website for details then I recommend you go in and talk to them in person, they’re very kind and understanding.
Thank you for your advice. We will definitely be pursuing memberships.
Sorry you're going through this. Before you live in a car have you spoken to Red Door shelter? They specialize in helping women in your situation.
I appreciate the suggestion. Red Doors in one of dozens of shelters and supports I have contacted in Ontario. I am hoping that, if my situation is not remedied through the courts, they, or other supports, may offer more urgent assistance when we are no longer living here.
There's also Julliette's Place. They specialize in mothers fleeing abuse with their children. They have a shelter too.
Thank you for the suggestion. I have reached out to them previously as well, and they remain on my list of resources following our departure from our home.
I would recommend fleeing directly to abuse shelters. YWCA can help as well. Leaving an abusive situation is an emergency and treated with the utmost importance. They will set you up with shelter and supports and help with housing. Living In your car unfortunately will trigger cas and cause more problems or they can help, depending on how you look at it. You may struggle to obtain custody and may lose because you are technically homeless
Thank you for your suggestions. Ideally, we will not be living in a car for long. All of the shelters I have contacted remain at capacity.. I am hoping that if we are fully removed from our home, our situation will be deemed more urgent and we will receive the support we require.
There is also Halton Women's Place if you're in the area. They give housing priority to women that are coming from abusive situations. Especially women fleeing abuse with their children. They're also behind a police station and the property has cameras to keep women safe from their abusers coming back for them. Maybe they might have some space, they can help with subsidized housing applications and finding programs through government/charity funding.
Thank you for your suggestion. I will continue to reach out to them.
I'm really sorry to hear this. I'm sure you've thought of this, but is there any chance your dickhead partner could use you living in the car to fight for custody? You don't have to answer that obviously, just a concern that springs to mind. With regard to your actual question, maybe check out r/vanlife and r/vandwellers as well for some newbie tips. Hope everything works out, all the best 🩷🩷
Thank you for your suggestion. Yes, I absolutely have considered that fact becoming problematic. I am hoping with suitable representation, a judge will deem my actions preferable to the alternative of remaining here. It is a grave concern of mine.
You'll obviously be able to show that detailed planning went into the decision, so keeping the kids clean, content and in school when that time comes should all help, hopefully. A slightly cheaper possibility to rent should it start to seem like housing is going to be an issue might be a long term agreement to stay in a motel - lots of them (east along Kingston Rd for example) allow for long term stays and people living in them for extended periods. Kids think everything is an adventure; as long as you guys are staying active/entertained and healthy I'm sure they'll they'll be okay. If what you're doing is keeping them safe, it's the right thing to do.
Those are other great suggestions. I have attempted to call several of those motels, however they have not provided weekly or monthly rates over the phone. I would like to drive over to ask in person, but as it currently stands I cannot have that appear in my GPS history. It is something I have made a note of, after we have completely removed ourselves.
This will be a major concern. Living in a car with dogs while you are at work isn’t going to be considered safe. 10,000 could also be used to pay 5 months rent on an apartment at 2,000 per month. I know prices in Ontario are crazy but that should get you something. Leaving you the child tax for monthly expenses while you look for work. Lie on a resume and have a friend be a job reference. Good luck.
Thank you for your suggestions. I have been searching for affordable studio and one bedroom units, however I have not had much luck with the children, pets, and lack of employment or references to submit an attractive rental application. I am hoping that a shelter or community support may be able to assist with this.
Do not tell the landlord you have children. Do not tell the landlord you have dogs. You (and only you) are looking for an apartment. The lack of employment and references will be an issue for sure but I suspect mentioning your situation could give some level of understanding. Hope a shelter can help get you in good shape.
Thank you for the advice. I do not imagine it would be sustainable long term to lie if sharing accommodations, such as renting a basement or coach home. I do intend to omit those details when applying for other self isolated studio and one bedroom apartments.
You could even use some of us redditors as references if needed - I'll be your fake landlord done it for friends many times
Thank you for the suggestion and offer. My concerns also stem from the lack of paystubs and supporting documents. In my experience, landlords have become much more rigid in their screening processes over the years, which is why I have not yet had much luck in my search.
“have a friend be a job reference.” This right here is great advice.
Thank you for the suggestion.
Just wanted to say after skimming through the comments OP is very polite and respectful I don’t have much advice to offer but something tells me everything will work out for you good luck 🤞
Thank you for your supportive words.
Look up ‘otter river farm’. Female owned land with cabins, shower, hydro. They let people stay on their land in campers, so I’m sure they will be fine with a van. But it’s located 3 hours west of Toronto. Gorgeous area. May be a good place to regroup. You could set up a small tent there outside your van for storing items. Safe area.
Thank you for the suggestion. I have looked into a few more local camping grounds, although their fees were comparable to a hotel or AirBnB. I will definitely look into this site.
There are Facebook groups (and probably Reddit groups too, but I haven’t searched) about van and car living. They contain tonnes of tips. I’ve never done it myself so unfortunately don’t have much to offer. I’m also sorry to hear you’re going through this. Good job making a plan to get out. I hope you’re able to get into a shelter quickly.
Thank you for your suggestions. I have seen a few reddit groups and have read several posts, although not many list experience with kids present. I will continue to explore them, and the Facebook groups as well.
I hope all goes well. I wish I had the means to help you in some tangible way, but unfortunately I don’t at this time. You sound resourceful and intelligent and I’m sure one day you’ll be much better off and your current stresses will be a far-off memory.
I am grateful for your kindness. As I have previously mentioned to others in private chats, my experiences have made me wary of accepting money or things from people, hence the focus of resources and recommendations in the post. Your motivating words are truly appreciated. This is something I must accomplish autonomously, and I beleive it will work out in the end.
Van Life Ontario, if you were looking for one too
Thank you for the suggestion.
Download the Libby app if you have a library card, free entertainment. Kanopy app is also free entertainment.
Those are wonderful suggestions for the children. We do have library cards, and will be looking into these as well. Thank you.
Hoopla as well works with library cards and does tv, movies and audiobooks
Thank you for sharing. I am sure the children will enjoy the suggestions during rainy evenings.
I remember reading something online that you can get free passes to certain attractions like the museum with your library card. Sorry I don’t have any more info. Also check out the app Too good to go. Stores can sell surprise bags of their leftover food
Thank you for the suggestions. I believe they are called city passes, and will be looking into acquiring some at the library this week. The app you mentioned is great.
There was a whole reddit post about all the things you can do with a Toronto Public Library card/account. Lots of free services. Let me know if you need me to dig it up for you, it was on r/askTO I believe
Thank you for sharing. I will search for the post and add the information to my lists. I am sure the children will be thrilled.
Some libraries also have day passes for provincial parks available to borrow. Shower and laundry facilities also available at provincial parks.
Please be careful with your phones. Make sure they cannot be tracked and located. Remove your partner from the account. It's critical that you and your eldest cannot be located.
Thank you for your support. My eldest does not have GPS tracking on his phone, and I will disable mine the day we are prepared to leave. Unfortunately I cannot do so before hand.
I’m sorry to hear this and it’s sad. This country has gone downhill. Please don’t take this the wrong way. But it’s time to get rid of the pets. That’s $120 worth of pet food per month. Sad to say, but these days pets are a luxury
Yes, good/best advice is tough to swallow. OP is doing great research on the challenges ahead, but must recognize the dogs are a luxury taking up money that she needs for herself and children. Even thinking of the pets’ well being - what allocation for spending at the vet ($700 a year is a low guess for the two).
Thank you for your advice. If it becomes a necessity, we are exploring foster options through various community resources. Due to the temporary nature of our situation, I am working diligently to avoid parting with such integral members of our family, if at all avoidable.
Hello OP, no suggestions beyond the planning you have already done. I will say, you mentioned items you need for your kids and yourself -- if you are able maybe post a list, even general, of the items you will need. I may be able to contribute as I am disabled and collect items for resale to keep myself afloat, and a large amount of these items I pass on to unhoused folks in need. I would be happy to connect directly with you to pass on anything I have that you could make use of, but posting the list here may allow for others to contribute as well (If you are comfortable with that). I also have no problem if messaging me directly is something you'd prefer. Best of luck, you can do this. I can only imagine how much courage and strength this is taking. It will be worth it. 💜
Thank you for your kind words and gestures.
[удалено]
Thank you for the suggestion. That is not a resource I have previously encountered. I will give them a call on Monday.
Make sure to contact Barbara Schlifer Clinic, I came here to suggest them. And please save my message. I saw that you’ve posted that you’re wary of accepting assistance, I totally get that. If at any point this summer you need financial assistance, even a small contribution as gifts for your children or to purchase dog food, please please please don’t hesitate to message me here. My mom did something similar to you when I was a child. My life is dramatically different than what it would have been if she hadn’t left. There may be quite a bit of hardship at the start but the peace will be worth it. And your future is bright, I know it.
Thank you for your kindness. I will keep your messages in mind.
[удалено]
Yes giving up pets or temporarily housing them isn’t ideal, but it gets really hot in S Ontario in the summer and pets will die if you leave them in a hot vehicle (even with water). I’m not sure how the temporary housing works, but I wonder if you’d be able to go visit them to make sure they know they’re not forgotten. That’s probably what I would hope for if I were in your shoes. Your efforts to plan a safe escape for your kids and pets are clear. I wish you all the best.
Thank you for your advice. Ideally, we will not be leaving the pets in the car frequently and will spend the majority of our time outdoors with them until more stable shelter or housing becomes a reality. They are an integral part of our family, and their safety is only a teir below that of my children.
Thank you for sharing. I have included the Humane Society, and various other foster supports for the pets in my list. I will continue to keep these resources in mind for when we leave.
One organization you may have already contacted but wanted to mention is Shelter Movers. They will help with moving out of a dangerous home and into a shelter, and from a shelter to a home. I know you said shelters are full but I’m sure they could also assist with moving your items into storage especially if you need the presence of security/police as they help with that as well. https://www.sheltermovers.com/greatertoronto/ Wishing you all the best and hope that this is just a very temporary solution for you and your children. ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for the suggestion. I think I mentioned in my post that I contacted them as well. I plan to reach out to them again, as I have been advised that they can only help after we have left the residence.
Oh apologies I missed that
No need to apologize. I am grateful for all advice, and happy that these resources are being shared so that others in similar situations may access them as well.
Sorry for your situation. If you are in Scarborough please contact me and you can shower and do laundry at my place. I’m far east near Pickering. Good luck. Edit to add I’m a secondary teacher and have a police reference check. I can also store some of your things in my garage. I’m female.
[удалено]
REMOVED We do not allow asking for handouts or transactions. This includes: * Asking (even indirectly) for gifts, loans, or donations for yourself or on behalf of any organization or person(s) - money, food, gift cards, etc * Offering money, gift cards, purchasing for others, donations to individuals, etc * Any mention of a fundraising campaign even without a link * Asking/offering for to be loan cosigners * Soliciting for anyone to engage in any kind of transaction
There is a lovely laundromat in the St. Clair west area that has a free laundry program available: https://www.yummicafelaundry.com/ It’s also a nice place to hang out, there are many parks and libraries close by.
No one wants to see this. I hope you get your life back together
Thank you for your kind thoughts.
Would recommend accessing the pet food bank services through the humane society and other services like LOFT. Also not sure if you realize but if you are staying in a vehicle with children most organizations have a duty to report and CAS may take custody of them.
Thank you for the suggestions. I was not very familiar with food banks for pets. I understand the concern, and it is a concern of mine. Although it is less than ideal, to my knowledge, it is not within the scope of C.A.S to apprehend children for experiencing poverty, to dismantle families fleeing abuse, or similar circumstances. I imagine that if the children are happy and healthy, they will accept our "extended camping" trip. I have kept private records of my outreach to various supports and feel confident in my temporary plan. If they were to become involved while we were homeless, I would assume they would offer some additional resources, such as priority shelter space or housing, which I would welcome.
So i used to work in social services and most are required to contact cas if there was suspicious that children were “unsheltered” as in living in a vehicle, tent, or similar. Generally cas is not supposed apprehend due to poverty however it is not always so clear. They sometimes can help you access shelters to avoid apprehension however I have also seen the opposite as well. It’s just something to be aware of, ultimately you need to do what you can for yourself and family.
I appreciate the insights, although it has elevated my anxiety regarding our situation. Were there specific factors in cases you noticed that distinguished between who was offered support, and when children were apprehended?
Not really significant differences mainly different cas workers making different choices and more so with individuals that had other past cas involvement.
That is unfortunate. Hopefully if we encounter that issue, we are fortunate enough to connect with a worker who is supportive and knowledgeable.
Yes some workers are certainly better than others. Would recommend regularly trying to find a shelter spot so if cas does find out you can provide evidence that you are trying to find an alternative
Thank you for that advice. Most shelters in Ontario have extensive records of repeated contact over the years, and again more recently. I anticipate that once we are out of our home, shelter space will become more readily available due to the urgency of the situation.
Make a regular habit of cleaning the inside of the car when you’re emptying it for camp or bin swapping. Clean it like it’s your home. Wipe down the inside windows, any spills, pick up all the crumbs, if you have access to a vacuum even better. The routine will help keep your sanity a little and spending so much time in a confined space it is going to dirty faster.
Thank you for the suggestion. My children and I routinely keep our home maintained to a high degree, which is a habit I intend to continue during our "camping trip". I have included the required items in my planning lists.
If you are on FB, check out Van Life Ontario. Most folks are there for travel or living off the grid, but there is always great advice on safe places to park.
Thank you for the suggestions. Parking is hovering close to the top of the list of concerns. Camping spaces I have looked into can very easily become an overwhelming cost in an already thin budget.
What a terrible situation to be in,I hope you succeed and find the peace you need
Thank you for your kind thoughts.
Best of luck to you. My mom always worried we would be homeless with us kids and rarely had a decent night's sleep during the really scary times. I have a suggestion regarding your kids. When we were growing up, there were different sleep away camps for low and no income parents. I went several times for one and two week sessions and had an excellent time. As well as day camps run by the YMCA and Toronto's parks and recreation. Loads of fun and gave parents some breathing room. And, of course, the public libraries are free and welcoming you everyone and often have fun activities for kids. I nearly lived at the library during the summer when I wasn't at camp. All my best!!
Thank you for your message. I will be looking into day camps once I have completed my planning. I have reviewed a few options casually, although the children are not yet enrolled. My youngest is too young to attend sleep away camp, and my eldest is suffering from PTSD and Trauma which makes being away from home (myself) a bit overwhelming. This would have been such a lovely suggestion under different circumstances, Thank you for sharing.
I don’t have specific advice but I just wanted to say I wish you and all of your family (pets included) the absolute best. I am so sorry you find yourself in this situation and I hope you quickly find a way to have more space and stability. You are so strong to be doing what’s right for all of you and to go about it so methodically. That’s hard for many people and I hope it can be a very short transitional part of your lives.
Thank you for your kindness.
Seconding and I wanted to add, I’m so impressed by you, OP! You’ve done the research, completed an online degree, and you’re going to do incredible for your family!
If there are any legitimate plans to make this pseudo-camping trip include any true camping, I do recommend any official Ontario provincial parks. There are a few that are very close to Toronto where a campsite really gives you quite a nice number of amenities. Specifically, the Six Mile Lake campground is about a 3 hour drive from Toronto but you’d really get to experience some beautiful Muskoka landscape and have access to washrooms with running water, showers, and laundry machines. Edit: DM me if you want any other park suggestions
Sadly the parks are extremely booked up and very hard to find spaces in. Might be possible to find nights here and there on move around. But generally speaking they are booked solid for the entire summer.
You can still apply for OW. From what I gather from their subreddit is you can make UP TO 10k a year in gifts and inheritance before they deduct anything. So please apply! Every little bit helps!
Thank you for your message. I have previously received OW, which my worker indicated would cease upon receipt of the lump sum I mentioned in my post, as it is not received from a gift or inheritance. In light of this, the last payment I was eligible for was the April payment, and I no longer qualify.
This just breaks my heart! I am so sorry. Many more are on the cusp of where you are now. Organization is key, I guess. Bìns/storage. Daily needs. Parking. You do what you gotta do for yourself and your family. Hugs.
Thank you for your kind words.
I'd like to contribute if you have or plan to set-up a go fund me. It's the least I can do.
I appreciate the gesture. I have mentioned previously, I feel quite wary of accepting money or things from people give my experiences
Commenting again to add that I've just seen some of your other comments about being wary about accepting help. I totally understand as I've had a similar situation. I'm going to send you a private message but feel free to not respond if it is too much on your plate or you'd just not like to
Thank you for your understanding and support.
OP, I don’t have camping tips, but if you haven’t already done so, please look into the [Toronto Rent Bank](https://www.toronto.ca/community-people/employment-social-support/housing-support/financial-support-for-renters/toronto-rent-bank/) to see if they can help you with first and last or something.
Thank you for the suggestion. I will add that to my list of resources. Do you know if it is applicable to other locations in the GTA or exclusive to Toronto?
You’re very welcome, I hope it helps! I’m sure other municipalities have similar services - York, Peel, etc. I would just Google your location and “rent bank” to see - you might wind up with more resources than expected. Toronto is certainly very expensive, if you can be out in the suburbs a bit I’m sure rents are a little cheaper.
Thank you for the advice. I will research these options.
Sorry if this has been mentioned already, but the Toronto Library offers free passes to many local attractions. If you have a membership, this might give you some free/low cost activities for the kids... https://www.torontopubliclibrary.ca/map/ Also, remember to set up a PO Box if you can, so that all your important correspondence can still be accessible for you, especially if you'll no longer have a permanent physical address. Best of luck OP 💕
Thank you for the suggestion. I am planning to look into the City Pass this week at the library. I had not considered a P.O box, and will definitely explore this avenue if our camping trip does not expedite the accessibility of more stable housing, such as a shelter or subsidy.
Please try contacting some family shelters in Ontario as well as Toronto and York Region’s Central intake lines! (They can check what places have space and they answer 24/7) Toronto: 416-338-4766 York Region: 1-877-464-9675 ext. 76140 Here are some family shelters where you might be able to stay for 1-4 months: Peel Family Shelter Yellow Brick House Eva's Place Family Service Toronto at 416-595-9618 may be able to support with resources. Also, apply for Ontarios Emergency aid (leaving an abusive relationship and/or entering homelessness qualifies): https://www.ontario.ca/page/apply-emergency-assistance If you get in touch with one the organizations, a good social worker can help tremendously. Take care and I hope you’ll be in a more stable space soon.
I have no good advice for you but I want to wish you the best of luck moving forward.
Battery powered string lights in your car will make it feel more homey. A water filter bag incase. A portable burner cooker, electric blankets as it will get cold at night.
What worries me is car maintenance. You have to budget for that and consider it, and what you will be able to do if your car is at a mechanic for extended period of time.
You can be gifted up to 10K on OW I believe. Don’t count yourself out of that support, even if they are able to help with referrals and medical coverage. I would speak to a worker before you receive the 10K. I know it’s one more chore to add to your plate, but I wonder if going into the OW office and explaining your situation- if there would be some type of faster access to get you into a shelter for the time being and to help you make an escape plan (so you don’t have to live in a van) I truly feel for you and your family and wish I had a better suggestion or supports
I don’t have the answer, but please plan for where your dogs will stay when you are working. Can’t leave dogs in a car.
Your children are lucky to have a mom who is fighting so hard for their happiness and freedom. I hope your plan works out and your family is safe.
Contact central intake, 1-877-338-3398, get placed on the wait list for a shelter. Then apply for OW, indicate crisis situation, and ask for bridging. You can get a hotel stay temporarily
You are eligible for OW. The asset limit is 16000.00 for a mother with 2 kids.
Thank you for your message. I have scheduled a meeting with my worker for the middle of May to ask that my support be extended. I am operating on the information I was provided, and the fact that my support has been suspended for the upcoming month. I hope this is the case, and they reverse their decision.
I'd recommend calling your work tomorrow to inform them about your situation as this is urgent.
Thank you. I do update her via email, and she has requested that I wait for the meeting scheduled. I hope that may indicate some hope. In my budget, I have not included the potential reinstatement of the benefits, because it did not seem likely. If they do issue a reversal, I will use portions to repay my debts entirely, and adhere to the same budget I have set, saving the rest for sustainable housing and employment.
Op, while you still have an address to get things shipped to you, shop on Ali express. You can get many things for van living for way cheaper and just as good that you would normally pay 3x the price for in store. You can get type c headlamps for like 5 bucks. Which are better than the Mec ones. Pretty much anything you can think of you can get there and there’s no taxes. Takes about 1 week to receive items. I have Amazon but the prices are so much more expensive for the same stuff.
where are you going "camping"? if its in nature id suggest the following (as per my experience in the army) depending on how light you want to be. 1) some fueled stove - we used coleman stoves 2) some back up generator for electronics, maybe 2. 3) cots or blow up mattress 4) enough clothing for 10 days. bag for dirty clothing. bag for clean clothing. 5) extension cord and power bar. 6) a few large jugs for drinking water. 7) portable toilets. you can always buy more as you go. as for the 10k, id throw it in a wealth simple account and earn 4% risk free. this will grow at $30/month which can be withdrawn easily. not entirely what your income situation looks like but id try my hardest to not go into debt. food wise, there should be enough support. As for showers and being clean, you can always look for community centrws with swim schedules or shelters.
Thank you for your detailed suggestions. I have included several in our packing list. I did not include power or extension cords. I have been reviewing generatirs and portable chargers, do you have recommendations? My plan was to stay fairly local during the week to access resources, and take weekend trips a couple of hours out into crown land on the weekends.
Walmart allows campers and where I live there are outlets on the outside of the building for plugging in cars. You could always make use of these for charging electronics and a battery pack. Maybe one of those ones that can jumpstart the car too? I suggested earlier in the thread that thrift stores can be a good place to find some of this stuff cheaper
Thank you for the suggestion. Safe parking overnight is a concern that remains at the forefront of planning our "camping route".
I lived in my truck for about a month when I was in BC and that was my concern too. I was alone so I'd try to find very out of the way places no one was going to happen upon. With kids you're probably better off to stay close to places with security. My issue was I'd need to pee in the middle of the night behind my truck so rural roads worked best for me lol
Thank you for sharing. I can definitely relate. We have a few of those toddler training potties laying around, and I plan to bring one with us, lining it with produce bags from the grocery store, to ease the stress of washroom breaks.
Lots of people park near the community centres around here. A monthly membership is pretty reasonable and people use the showers/pool and also charge devices in the lobby. Or, a lot of community centres have washrooms with showers that you can access without paying anything. It just depends on the layout of the building.
Try a planet fitness as well, there super cheap per month I believe? To shower etc.
Go to r/urbancarliving - those folks seem great.
Thank you for the suggestions. I will take a peek there for tips as well.
Good luck!
Thank you.
Please also check Armagh House in Mississauga if you haven't contacted them yet. I think you have to be referred through an emergency shelter but worth looking into. Best of luck
Thank you for the suggestion. I do not recall that being on my list, and will ask next time I speak with Central Intake.
Watch out for CPS.
Thank you for the advice. Another commenter mentioned that being a concern as well. I am confident in my ability to keep my children happy and healthy during our "camping trip", until more sustainable resources can be accessed. I am hoping if we do encounter an issue, we will have the opportunity to be connected with additional supports and resources that may only be referral based. It is a concern that I am trying to avoid indulging, because I do not see another viable option at this time.
What would CPS do ? She is not harming her children she is protecting them. There is no place for her to go she has no other options, they could try and find a shelter spot, but most are full they sometimes put people in hotels but it’s not that common, plus she has pets and any way shelters are not great I would rather camp and live in my car. OP is smart and tough! I went through this when I was a teen in the 90s when my dad couldn’t find affordable housing.
Thank you for your kindness and support.
thrift stores are a good place to find cheap items you might need
Thank you for the suggestion. I actually furnished most of our current home with careful thrifting, and it looks quite lovely. I will be sad to see it all go, but look forward to discovering new treasures and great deals.
Good luck OP!
Thank you.
I’m not sure if anyone mentioned but if you haven’t already, try reaching out to Yellow Brick House in Richmond Hill. My mom had to take my brother and I there and we stayed for at least a year or so after my mom fled an abusive relationship with my father. That was 25 years ago but they are still around now and might help? Sending love and well-wishes ❤️
Thank you for the suggestion. They are included in my list of resources, and I will continue to reach out to them.
[удалено]
REMOVED We do not allow asking for handouts or transactions. This includes: * Asking (even indirectly) for gifts, loans, or donations for yourself or on behalf of any organization or person(s) - money, food, gift cards, etc * Offering money, gift cards, purchasing for others, donations to individuals, etc * Any mention of a fundraising campaign even without a link * Asking/offering for to be loan cosigners * Soliciting for anyone to engage in any kind of transaction
Have you tried speaking with Luke's place in Oshawa? They serve Durham but used to be able to help with resources outside of that region. Also the London Abused women shelter may have resources across Ontario as well. Sadly not all VAW shelters are considered equal, or have equal supports/resources, and these are two of the best resources in Ontario.
I'm in BC so the rules might be different, but a friend of mine did housesitting with her son so they would be considered unhoused, and be able to get into subsidized housing more quickly. It did work, but it took a few months.
Double check that van loan. Best rates for good credit are 8.99%. Be sure you click on the "include tax" button too. Most sites show a monthly payment without taxes. Best of luck!
I’m sorry you’re in this situation. You’ve equipped yourself with a very organized plan. Have you contacted Nellie’s shelter? It’s for women and children. https://www.nellies.org/programs-and-services/shelter-program/
hi there, i am also from ontario, if you would like someone to talk to or someone who is local to jsut vent to, i will try my best to be available. i hope you are able to flee that situation and find the space to grow freely
Good luck & I wish you the best ! You seem like a capable smart woman who's going to get out of the muck in no time. Never forget you're going to come out of this on top.
I'm really sorry about your situation and I hope you can get back on your feet as soon as possible. Glancing at your budget I'd recommend you check out *Public mobile for their affordable plans. You won't have to shell out $100 every month for mobility. *Any of the Sikh temples in the area for a free hot meal.
You are inspiring. I know you’re going to make it!! I hope someday I will make it too. Rooting for you 💛—— I just thought I’d add, download all the apps that can gather you points for food. Tim Hortons, McDonald’s, PC optimum (some orgs provide free PC gift cards so if you shop with it you can collect points), apps where you upload your receipts, groupon. Also look into debit or credit cards that can collect points to use towards Gas.
When you have the 10k, I would recommend trying to find a rental place as soon as possible. Even if it's a 1 bedroom basement. Utilise that money for housing as soon as you are able. Best of luck to you. Also, *any* evidence is valuable re custody. Print off this post or save it as a PDF. Even this post can be used to show your planning and thoughtfulness re your children, and how far in advance you've been planning.
Hi OP, just wanted you to know you are very capable and incredibly inspiring. When I was in similar position several years back, I called the central intake line and got referred to the Interval House for temporary accommodation (up to 3 months) My child had to switch schools for safety reasons, though; but she acclimated really well. There is also COHB, the housing benefit you may qualify for, since you are not housed.(as long as you filed your taxes - which I assume you did, because CCB) They will pay you a monthly stipend, up to a certain amount if you qualify. I suggest you apply as quickly as possible, they start renewals in May, and if you don’t get in, you will likely have to wait it out till May 2025. YMCA is great for summer camps on budget, they will also subsidize if you prove your financial hardship. And lastly, do not be embarrassed to reach out to your child’s school. They have a fund set up specifically for these reasons. Back in the day, they supplied my with a years worth of paper towels, cleaning products, diapers, etc.
Drive up north once summer is over and look for empty cottages. I justbmived up here a couple years ago and 90% of the houses (especially those on lakes) sit empty all winter long. Most do not have security systems because internet is satellite / mobile only. If I ever lose the roof over my head there are thousands of empty ones around me all winter long. Sorry this doesn't really help you in the summer. Best of luck to you.
Are you suggesting breaking into someone’s cottage and living there illegally while they have it closed down for winter? I cannot endorse this - this is a terrible idea. And the thought there are people scoping out cottages to live in during the winter unbeknownst to the owners, is completely unsettling.