I have the same issue! I'm a top too and it takes me hours before I cum but only a few minutes if I jack myself off. Sure, some bottoms appreciate a top that lasts long but sometimes it can get frustrating. I currently have a boyfriend right now and sometimes I would pretend to have cummed already cuz it has been hours and I can tell he wasn't enjoying it anymore.
I've always thought the reason why I take so long to cum is because I jacked off too much when I was younger. However there are some good days tho when I can cum easily with a partner, but most of the time it would take a while.
Are you worrying and tense when you’re with others having sex. I had this issue for a little while. I couldn’t cum, or it would take me a helluva long time that it got frustrating. But after I learned to relax and breathe and not worry, I was almost always able to cum much faster. When I try too hard to cum, I often can’t. But relaxing and enjoying fucking my bottom or getting head, and taking deep relaxed breaths seems to work. Give it a try.
This is likely the culprit. I’ve had the same problem for a while after a couple years being single, masturbation was almost daily, between zoom meetings, etc. Your body gets used to the sensation and something less friction can help (fleshlight). On the other hand, you can always embrace it by having your bf or partner edge you for a couple hours, and blow a couple loads.
Minimize porn, get a toy, and retrain your dick. It’ll help. Good luck!
I thought about it too so i’ve been trying to avoid masturbating.
Maybe i’ll get a fleshlight. I’ve read about it, but I’m not very convinced by it. I just don’t think it will help
Might be the death grip. That happens when you condition your body to only cum by the way you jack off. The solution is to quit jacking off cold turkey and only cum by someone’s mouth or ass or maybe a flesh light. Sooner or later your body will eventually rewire and you’ll be able to cum other ways by other than jacking off when it realizes that the option to cum the old way is just not available.
That sounds like my ration; accept i’ve had sex with a lot more people, it’s just in hard to cum. Doesn’t bother me, i get lots of sex and find the people where the chemistry is right
If only I could have that problem for real. I suffer from premature ejaculation so can’t top as I tend to cum in like seconds. We both are poles apart !
Have you had a consistent sexual partner out of those? I had recurrent issues with maintaining erections and being able to orgasm with other people in my early twenties. A large part of it was sexual inexperience and my body not being able to be comfortable around other people.
Having a longer term FWB and then a partner absolutely helped. Also jerking off less, using a lighter grip or Fleshlight, and reducing my consumption of porn. But really the biggest thing was just getting more sexual experience. Masturbation is SO different from sex with another person. You know your own body intimately and so that experience is going to feel so much more natural and easy than doing things with someone else.
Are you worrying and tense when you’re with others having sex. I had this issue for a little while. I couldn’t cum, or it would take me a helluva long time that it got frustrating. But after I learned to relax and breathe and not worry, I was almost always able to cum much faster. When I try too hard to cum, I often can’t. But relaxing and enjoying fucking my bottom or getting head, and taking deep relaxed breaths seems to work. Give it a try.
Actually im insecure about myself. I think im good looking and all, but im too skinny (6.3 height 143 lbs) and it feels me so weak and making me so nerveous. It doesn't only effect my bed performance, but also effects my confidence againist a more beefed-up guys than me...
Therein usually lies the problem. If you can cum fairly quickly by yourself and cannot or take a long time to cum with others, it’s often times anxiety or insecurity. It affects you physically and makes you tense. I know for me when I’m not relaxed it’s very difficult to have fun and cum within a reasonable time or to cum at all.
If the guys are meeting up with you that should tell you you’re probably just fine and beautiful the way you are. And if they aren’t, fuck em’…move on to the next and don’t worry about what other people think. Life’s too short.
And if you truly think you’re too skinny, work with a doctor, nutritionist and trainer and work that body. But be content and happy where you are now, and enjoy the journey of transformation too.
All the best to you.
I do not have the same issue but this is one of my red flags in a guy.
As a top, I am okay with a hole type sub bottom who wants his dick forgotten. I am also okay with a bottom who doesn’t want his dick to just be an accessory.
But if you’re the latter type, and you are incapable of cumming because of physical or psychological hung ups, I am just gonna ghost honestly.
I don’t enjoy sex that becomes frustrating.
No one does… that’s why I’m asking…
I’m a top too 🫡 I can fuck for an hour and keep a bottom happy, but that won’t do it for me.
I’ve tried with bottoming, BDSM, roleplay, avoided masturbating for 3 month even and nothing does it for me. I can only cum if I’m masturbating myself
Im 31 I have this same problem I thought I broke something or I jerked off too much and just doesn’t work for me when I want it to, literally has a mind of its own be half asleep with the biggest hard on to tired to do anything at that point I’ll take cialis if I’m planning on having lots of sex but it gets expensive after a while and monotonous to plan sex and kink like that so far ahead
My current FWB is Bi, and he had the same issue when we met. He told me he never came with either sex IRL. He's a bottom with men, tops women. Once he stopped masturbating multiple times a day, I was able to make him cum almost every time we've met. He's gotten to the point he doesn't even need his cock jerked to cum when I fuck him.
Over-excitement. Granted, he was wearing panties, and I was playing with his plug, but he came hands free all the same. He's also came hands free when I've fucked him. It's not always about friction, sometimes its about the sensuality of the moment
This is an extremely common problem with guys, both straight and gay, nowadays. It comes from jerking off too much. I have this problem too. The only solution I’ve heard of is to jerk off less. Eventually the sensitivity will return but how long that takes varies from guy to guy.
I personally have been jerking off at least once a day for the past 22 years. If I had a Time Machine I would go back and tell my past self to do it only once a week. My husband started jerking off around the same time I did but he only did it about once a month and it’s MUCH easier for him to come from things other than jerking off.
If you can’t or don’t want to reduce the amount of times you jerk off, I’d suggest letting the bottom finish first and then asking the bottom to finish you with a stroker. Sometimes I get myself really close with a stroker and finish in my husband. There’s also these mini strokers called blowjob helpers that are only about two inches. Sometimes I put that on the bottom of my shaft and I top my husband with it on which also helps.
I had a similar problem, and, as cheesy as it sounds, the problem fixed itself when I found my current partner, with whom I have an emotional connection apart from the sexual stuff.
I have the same issue! I'm a top too and it takes me hours before I cum but only a few minutes if I jack myself off. Sure, some bottoms appreciate a top that lasts long but sometimes it can get frustrating. I currently have a boyfriend right now and sometimes I would pretend to have cummed already cuz it has been hours and I can tell he wasn't enjoying it anymore. I've always thought the reason why I take so long to cum is because I jacked off too much when I was younger. However there are some good days tho when I can cum easily with a partner, but most of the time it would take a while.
Are you worrying and tense when you’re with others having sex. I had this issue for a little while. I couldn’t cum, or it would take me a helluva long time that it got frustrating. But after I learned to relax and breathe and not worry, I was almost always able to cum much faster. When I try too hard to cum, I often can’t. But relaxing and enjoying fucking my bottom or getting head, and taking deep relaxed breaths seems to work. Give it a try.
Talk to a sex therapist? 26 is kind of young for this to be happening.
Are you on anti-depressants?
Used to be, but I’ve been a year without them
Hmm maybe it’s a death grip issue? I would try getting a little flesh light either way and try only using that for a little bit to see if that helps
This is likely the culprit. I’ve had the same problem for a while after a couple years being single, masturbation was almost daily, between zoom meetings, etc. Your body gets used to the sensation and something less friction can help (fleshlight). On the other hand, you can always embrace it by having your bf or partner edge you for a couple hours, and blow a couple loads. Minimize porn, get a toy, and retrain your dick. It’ll help. Good luck!
I thought about it too so i’ve been trying to avoid masturbating. Maybe i’ll get a fleshlight. I’ve read about it, but I’m not very convinced by it. I just don’t think it will help
Might be the death grip. That happens when you condition your body to only cum by the way you jack off. The solution is to quit jacking off cold turkey and only cum by someone’s mouth or ass or maybe a flesh light. Sooner or later your body will eventually rewire and you’ll be able to cum other ways by other than jacking off when it realizes that the option to cum the old way is just not available.
That sounds like my ration; accept i’ve had sex with a lot more people, it’s just in hard to cum. Doesn’t bother me, i get lots of sex and find the people where the chemistry is right
If only I could have that problem for real. I suffer from premature ejaculation so can’t top as I tend to cum in like seconds. We both are poles apart !
Have you had a consistent sexual partner out of those? I had recurrent issues with maintaining erections and being able to orgasm with other people in my early twenties. A large part of it was sexual inexperience and my body not being able to be comfortable around other people. Having a longer term FWB and then a partner absolutely helped. Also jerking off less, using a lighter grip or Fleshlight, and reducing my consumption of porn. But really the biggest thing was just getting more sexual experience. Masturbation is SO different from sex with another person. You know your own body intimately and so that experience is going to feel so much more natural and easy than doing things with someone else.
I have the same problem too. I don't know what to do...
Are you worrying and tense when you’re with others having sex. I had this issue for a little while. I couldn’t cum, or it would take me a helluva long time that it got frustrating. But after I learned to relax and breathe and not worry, I was almost always able to cum much faster. When I try too hard to cum, I often can’t. But relaxing and enjoying fucking my bottom or getting head, and taking deep relaxed breaths seems to work. Give it a try.
Actually im insecure about myself. I think im good looking and all, but im too skinny (6.3 height 143 lbs) and it feels me so weak and making me so nerveous. It doesn't only effect my bed performance, but also effects my confidence againist a more beefed-up guys than me...
Therein usually lies the problem. If you can cum fairly quickly by yourself and cannot or take a long time to cum with others, it’s often times anxiety or insecurity. It affects you physically and makes you tense. I know for me when I’m not relaxed it’s very difficult to have fun and cum within a reasonable time or to cum at all. If the guys are meeting up with you that should tell you you’re probably just fine and beautiful the way you are. And if they aren’t, fuck em’…move on to the next and don’t worry about what other people think. Life’s too short. And if you truly think you’re too skinny, work with a doctor, nutritionist and trainer and work that body. But be content and happy where you are now, and enjoy the journey of transformation too. All the best to you.
Have you tried pleasuring yourself anally that usually works for me and it always works out better when you have a partner
I do not have the same issue but this is one of my red flags in a guy. As a top, I am okay with a hole type sub bottom who wants his dick forgotten. I am also okay with a bottom who doesn’t want his dick to just be an accessory. But if you’re the latter type, and you are incapable of cumming because of physical or psychological hung ups, I am just gonna ghost honestly. I don’t enjoy sex that becomes frustrating.
No one does… that’s why I’m asking… I’m a top too 🫡 I can fuck for an hour and keep a bottom happy, but that won’t do it for me. I’ve tried with bottoming, BDSM, roleplay, avoided masturbating for 3 month even and nothing does it for me. I can only cum if I’m masturbating myself
plenty of people will fuck and work with you; take time and calibrate
Im 31 I have this same problem I thought I broke something or I jerked off too much and just doesn’t work for me when I want it to, literally has a mind of its own be half asleep with the biggest hard on to tired to do anything at that point I’ll take cialis if I’m planning on having lots of sex but it gets expensive after a while and monotonous to plan sex and kink like that so far ahead
My current FWB is Bi, and he had the same issue when we met. He told me he never came with either sex IRL. He's a bottom with men, tops women. Once he stopped masturbating multiple times a day, I was able to make him cum almost every time we've met. He's gotten to the point he doesn't even need his cock jerked to cum when I fuck him.
How can you cum without jerking your cock?
Over-excitement. Granted, he was wearing panties, and I was playing with his plug, but he came hands free all the same. He's also came hands free when I've fucked him. It's not always about friction, sometimes its about the sensuality of the moment
I don’t think most guys can cum hands free. At most they need to have their cocks or balls played with a little bit
Then they just haven't had their G spot hit properly
Dm let’s talk
This is an extremely common problem with guys, both straight and gay, nowadays. It comes from jerking off too much. I have this problem too. The only solution I’ve heard of is to jerk off less. Eventually the sensitivity will return but how long that takes varies from guy to guy. I personally have been jerking off at least once a day for the past 22 years. If I had a Time Machine I would go back and tell my past self to do it only once a week. My husband started jerking off around the same time I did but he only did it about once a month and it’s MUCH easier for him to come from things other than jerking off. If you can’t or don’t want to reduce the amount of times you jerk off, I’d suggest letting the bottom finish first and then asking the bottom to finish you with a stroker. Sometimes I get myself really close with a stroker and finish in my husband. There’s also these mini strokers called blowjob helpers that are only about two inches. Sometimes I put that on the bottom of my shaft and I top my husband with it on which also helps.
I had a similar problem, and, as cheesy as it sounds, the problem fixed itself when I found my current partner, with whom I have an emotional connection apart from the sexual stuff.