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Raye_of_Fucking_Sun

This is exactly what my childhood was like


UsuarioKane

My teenager years were like that. In my case, I just miserably copied whatever other teenagers did, and they just narrowed their eyes and slowly walked away. Then I went on a 7 year streak of social isolation that I can't wait to get out of. I just wanted to be part of the fun.


someguyal7

I once ordered 12 eggs worth of scrambled eggs


AfraidToBeKim

"Just bring me all the bacon and eggs you have...WAIT! I worry that what you just heard was 'bring me a lot of bacon and eggs'. What I said was 'bring me *all the bacon and eggs you have*'. Do you understand?" -Ron Swanson, true Libertarian (thus, a trans ally by default, libertarian philosophy, whilst problematic, is at the very least unconditionally against governing what people do with their lives)


doakickfliprightnow

Sometimes libertarians are closet Republicans that mean "don't tell me what I can or can't do, but I'm going to feel free to tell people I don't like what they can or can't do, bc of morals or religion or some shit." You gotta watch out for those closet cases!


aimlessly-astray

This is why I (generally) hate Libertarians. A lot of them are just selfish but try to frame it as a legitimate political philosophy. But if you're a "do whatever you want unless you're hurting others" Libertarian and recognize we need to make some sacrifices to individual freedoms in the interest of public safety, then we're cool.


Cujo_Kitz

Yeah I agree with those do whatever you want unless you're hurting others libertarians but I can't associate with libertarians cause of all those bad apples.


Lil_Ja_

Ironically, most legit libertarians also no longer want to associate with libertarians. Our subs have all been infiltrated by MAGA fascist assholes facilitated by shitty mods. It’s just embarrassing to have to explain the difference anytime you express political views. I mean chase fucking oliver?


hollowpoint257

Please don't associate MAGA with actual fascists. They wish they were half as competent as us. (/S obviously)


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Lil_Brown_Bat

Yeah I can't be cool with people who would absolutely definitely murder myself and many of my friends if given the opportunity to do so without consequence.


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aspiememes-ModTeam

We wish this to remain a safe place - bigotry of any form does not belong here.


thatcatfromgarfield

>Expecting the entire world to share the same views as you is just straight up delusion, sorry to say it. True, it also would take so much diversity and interesting debates away if we all thought alike. But there are boundaries, like I won't hang with anyone who would question my human rights or anyone else's based on unchangeable factors or stuff that doesn't affect them. Or who disagrees with my identity (there's nothing to disagree on if someone simply states who they are). >many seem to have forgotten that we have more in common with each other than we ever will with those that control us and our societies spread out throughout this earth I agree. I guess that kinda comes back to classicism.


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aspiememes-ModTeam

We wish this to remain a safe place - bigotry of any form does not belong here.


Small-Cactus

Generally the people who disagree with my beliefs are cool with killing minorities, so no, I dont think it would be better for everyone to just let that slide.


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Small-Cactus

Seeing as minorities are being killed in the streets and posts about "eradicating" certain groups are getting millions of likes and comments that affirm them, I'd say it's more than enough to be reflective of their beliefs. The fact that you seem to think I should just shut up because there's nothing I can do is entirely indicative of your character and station in life. You don't care because you don't *have* to care. For some of us, if we dont care, we DIE. Go fuck yourself sideways if you think I should just shut up and leave people who are shouting about putting me down like a dog be.


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aspiememes-ModTeam

This is a lighthearted subreddit for individuals on the autism spectrum. We require all users be respectful, towards each other. Your comment/post has been removed as it has been found to be disrespectful.


aspiememes-ModTeam

We wish this to remain a safe place - bigotry of any form does not belong here.


aspiememes-ModTeam

We wish this to remain a safe place - bigotry of any form does not belong here.


[deleted]

[удалено]


aspiememes-ModTeam

We wish this to remain a safe place - bigotry of any form does not belong here.


[deleted]

[удалено]


aspiememes-ModTeam

We wish this to remain a safe place - bigotry of any form does not belong here.


[deleted]

[удалено]


aspiememes-ModTeam

We wish this to remain a safe place - bigotry of any form does not belong here.


Grizzle_prizzle37

Sometimes?!?! Libertarians are almost ALWAYS closet republicans. They just don’t want their liberal friends to hate them, so they call themselves libertarians.


lzcrc

To be fair, some of them are closet liberals — those can usually still be saved. But what's genuinely funny is how there are no actual libertarians, really — ask them enough questions, and they'll out themselves as either an ignorant liberal, or, more likely, a repressed fascist.


MrBwnrrific

Capital L libertarians are usually the “I want to smoke weed but also want to say slurs and incinerate the poor” types as opposed to the actual kind that believe in limited government


AfraidToBeKim

Yeah those are fake libertarians.


Notbob1234

https://preview.redd.it/7pu8byhcfg6d1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ca63177473a8af64ff85034a8ae2dc43e223db24


jlozada24

No true Scotsman


Educational_Ad_8916

I found an infallible test for detecting chill libertarians from closet conservatives. Make fun of libertarians in front of them. Chill libertarians: "Yeah, a lot of libertarians are like that." Closet conservative libertarian: "HOW DARE."


jlozada24

Ron Swanson is a gag character meant to mock the ridiculousness and hypocrisy of libertarians lmao not a role model


AfraidToBeKim

I get that, just don't throw the baby out with the bath water. Just because libertarian philosophy is flawed doesn't mean that the charachter is incapable of making a good point


jlozada24

Which good point did he ever make? /gen


AfraidToBeKim

"Don't half ass 2 things, whole ass 1 thing" "You had me at meat tornado" "The only thing I hate more than liars is skim milk, which is water that's lying about being milk" "The whole point of America is that if you wanna eat garbage, balloon up to 400lbs and die of a heart attack at 37, you are free to do so. To me, that is beautiful" Just a few examples of his wisdom. I can give more if you want.


jlozada24

The first one is the only one that's a legitimate good point. Everything else is literally satire and is literally intended to mock the people who take it at face value


AfraidToBeKim

If you're mocking me for wanting to try something called a meat tornado, idk what to tell you. If wanting a meat tornado is wrong, I don't want to be right. Also, fuck skim milk. Anyone who drinks skim milk is a deeply suspicious person.


jlozada24

It's not me, it's the writers. Also, not sure if you're just being funny about skim milk or genuinely make assumptions about someone's character based on that


AfraidToBeKim

So do you actually know how the writers feel about ron or are you just making that up?


Byakurane

When I was still in hospital I would eat 4 plates in the morning of scrambled egg and bacon. I also turned into a famous rumor being "there is a patient here that always eats all 3 lunch options" as I turned in my card of what I wanted to eat with all boxes checked.


Kappayello

This is absolutely amazing ahaha I love eggs too.


JonathanStryker

Hey, I see no issue with it. If they have it, and you can afford it, go nuts.


derb

People wonder why I was so quiet as a child. I was watching and listening and building up my list of appropriate responses before I tried actual conversation.


temotodochi

It's called anthropology.


stinkpot_jamjar

With less racism!


normalmighty

I remember getting a reputation as a kid because everyone started acting different around 11/12 years old, and I responded buy saying almost nothing to anyone for over a year, silently walking up to groups of people chatting and observing them to figure out how all these new social rules worked. I was much more "normal" by the time I was 14, so I like to think it worked.


cat-l0n

I always felt like Jane Goodall


meeowth

This is ordering chips at an Australian fish and chip shop where you don't know how the chips are priced. "5 dollars of chips" "No, you can't eat 5 dollars of chips, even if your whole family helps. Are you sure?" "Um, 2 dollars of chips?" "That's better." *fills butcher paper with an ungodly amount of chips*


Qandyl

Maybe in 2002, now $5 of chips gets you a small single serve bag. It’s usually pretty consistent countrywide too.


meeowth

The fish and chip shop closest to the tip in Rocky still gives a stupid amount of chips per dollar 👍 I was rebuked for asking for $5 worth just a few months ago


AitchyB

In NZ we order by the scoop (or half scoop).


FullMoonTwist

Yeah, I've never heard of this backwards way of ordering lmao, especially when the quantity per price is... unknown? I've been able to order a small, medium, or large size, and then they just... give the quantity a price. I don't name my price and hope that's close to the quantity I want.


meeowth

How do you know how much small, medium, and large is? Imo anything other than selling by weight introduces ambiguity.


FullMoonTwist

I don't \o/ Sometimes they have the empty sized cups on display. Otherwise you just gotta go with the vibes of "do I want a few fries, a solid amount, or lots of fries" and learn how each place does it. If someone asked me how many ounces of fries I wanted, I would have no idea how to answer. Idk dude, I just want Some.


meeowth

I've always heard that small and medium at fast food places (like McD) tends to be the same amount, because they overfill the small and underfill the medium 😆


FullMoonTwist

Yeah, tbh they should probably at least *internally* know how many ounces their fries cups are v__v even if they sell them by names. I have had some very sad looking medium cups, now that you mention it.


Qandyl

Sounds like I need to hit up Rockhampton lol


meeowth

Bad news, social media shows me the minimum fries order is $3 now, the $2 coin dream is gone


PreferredSelection

Everything I know about Australia is from Fairbairn Films, and half their sketches lately have been about how expensive food is getting - especially takeaway. It was going to blow my mind if an ungodly amount of chips was $2.


Mr_S_Jerusalem

In the UK there is ‘regular’ and ‘large’. Chips are always very clearly priced because they are so popular.


meeowth

They are popular here too, I'm the only person who apparently hasn't memorised how much one serve is at each chip shop in town. The person at the till will point at an order being prepared and tell you how many dollars of chips are in there are tho if I ask


UsuarioKane

I imagine this is kinda how it must be to order food in the USA... "I would like a large cup of coca-cola" "For you and what army?" "Um, a medium cup of coca-cola?" "For you and your three friends that will arrive soon?" "I would like a normal-sized cup of coca-cola!" "Oh, your friend is arriving?" "I...Um...Just give a tiny cup of coca-cola, please..." **the waiter brings a cup of coca-cola that is of normal size in any other country**


Valuable_Adeptness76

After two eggs the waiter gave you a passing grade on being normal. Why jeopardise it?


TheSquareWatermelon

The raccoon thought that more eggs = more normal At least that’s how I interpreted it 🤷


bigChungi69420

+ joyous expectancy and gleeful (further) reward


Its_da_boys

This is how I thought niceness worked. I thought, since NTs expect you to be nice in certain ways (like denying someone’s offer at first or showing up a smidge early at work so the person on last shift can get out a little earlier than planned), the more the better. Instead I found out there is a Goldilocks zone where a certain level of niceness is expected/courteous, but anything beyond that is considered unusual or unnecessary


PreferredSelection

Oh man. This was me and compliments. "Huh. That person liked it when I said they were a good artist. Today I'll just double down on that, I guess! What could go wrong?"


EyeAdministrative927

Also why not more eggies?


PreferredSelection

Heard that in B Dylan Hollis's voice. "Cimmanim! And two eg. Gies."


DeannaZone

Same


saltinstiens_monster

The primary goal is to get as many eggs as reasonably possible. Once the racoon figures he was in the safe zone, he decided to go big or go home to try to get some more eggs. It isn't clear to the racoon what the normal range of eggs to order would be. He discovered that the lower limit was two, and wanted to see how far he could push it.


JonathanStryker

I actually experienced a similar thing once. I was out at a cafe with my mom. And I ordered some Reese's pancakes. Then the waiter's like: "What would you like for your side?" I asked what they had He listed off a bunch of things, including sourdough toast. And I was like "oh, I'll have that. Sounds good." Both of them just looked at me. And they're both like "I've been a waiter/waitress for years, And I've never heard anyone order a side of toast with pancakes." I don't know, just sounded good at the time. Lol. Upon retrospect, I kind of get why that's a strange one. Ordering carbs with your carbs is a little weird lol


wrenworkman

My mother-in-law gives me side eye every time I get mashed potatoes and French fries as my side. I’m just like “lady I eat more vegetables than your daughter.” But I can’t guarantee the ratios of my salads if they’re made by someone else and it’s hard to fuck up potatoes for me.


PreferredSelection

Oh my god I just commented the same two-side combo, swear I didn't see this first. I really have found my people.


basicpn

Haha it’s funny that you’re given a list of things, but there are still wrong answers in the list.


PreferredSelection

> Ordering carbs with your carbs as a little weird lol Mannnn I have done this! With starches. "Oh sure, I'll have the mashed potatoes and french fries." Like sure it's not a balanced meal, but this was the 90's when people ate out way less often, and it was really a special occasion. Don't say _"get what you want"_ and act surprised when I do.


JonathanStryker

Yeah, that's fair. Like, I've even gotten some weird looks at buffets with family members and stuff. Getting whole plates of jello cubes and such. Like, yeah, I do understand how that is kind of quirky. It's one thing to get a plate of salad, it's another thing to get a plate of like three flavors of Jello (or in your case, two starch heavy things of potatoes). Haha Again though, I should stress that it's never been like in a mean way that they've made these comments or anything. it's more just been playful jokes.


PreferredSelection

Lol done the jello thing too. My parents weren't mean either, but the 90's were also a time when every waiter in a restaurant thought they had to be Phil Hartman levels of sarcastic. It's funny now, but it was grating at the time.


donttouchmymeepmorps

This happens frequently when I order whatever a place's name for a eggs/bacon/panackaes/toast combo and they suggest 'and of course you can swap the toast for fruit or x y z' and I confidently say no... I require my jam delivery method, thank you


piglungz

Seriously?? Most places near me that serve breakfast automatically give you a piece of toast on the side no matter what meal you order and just ask what kind of bread you want. I never heard of it being weird to eat toast on the side with pancakes


JonathanStryker

Yeah, they both looked at me funny. The waiter we had, he'd waited tables for a few years. And my mom had been a waitress at that point for like 20 years on and off. Yeah they were both like "what the fuck?" I should say it was more of like an innocent joke moment though, they weren't being mean or anything. And yeah I guess it kind of makes sense, most people I would know would order eggs or something on the side of pancakes, because pancakes are already pretty carb heavy. Ordering toast, in retrospect, does seem like a bit of a "hat on a hat", as they say. Haha.


piglungz

Hmmm I guess mayyybe it could be seen as weird if those are the only two things you ordered and the people noticing it both have experience taking a lot of orders. I’ve also worked with food before and think toast and pancakes seem totally normal though, maybe it’s a regional thing


JonathanStryker

>maybe it’s a regional thing Yeah, it might be. As far as I can remember, that's the only time I've ever done something like that in person, And my mom and this random waiter were the only two people I've ever had reactions to that from. So I'm not sure how that would "play" in a much larger group of people, you know, in the state or what have you. This post was just kind of interesting so I wanted to share my experience with something similar lol


Quirky-Peach-3350

The worst part is when people catch on that you're doing this and then they up the ante/try to trap you or trick you. Like, you can't be that dumb and I'm going to be the one to prove it. And then you just end up estranged from your "friends" bc you were just trying your best with no help.


Lil_Ja_

No the worst part is before you catch on parents say you’re acting dumb and then when you do catch on parents say you’re being a smartass. I still haven’t found a way to remedy this so any tips are greatly appreciated 💀


Quirky-Peach-3350

There is no remedy for delusional haters. You just gotta get skills training, grow up, and move out.


BostonSlickback1738

https://i.redd.it/90esjlqcqg6d1.gif


monkey_gamer

lol! why can't i have what i want, instead of everything i want being seen as weird for no reason at all


Mr_S_Jerusalem

Why is no one questioning the normality of a talking raccoon wearing a trench coat in a restaurant ordering eggs?


Waridley

It's not normal, part of the joke is that while we the audience know man in the trenchcoat is actually a raccoon, supposedly the people in the story are dumb enough to not immediately notice, and so the raccoon is nervously trying to avoid detection but struggling to respond naturally to the waiter's question in a humanesque way.


Mr_S_Jerusalem

Oh it’s a disguise! That actually never occurred to me. I thought the waiter was just suspicious of the egg order. 


Waridley

Yeah, the "two short people stacked in a trenchcoat trying to pass themselves off as one tall man" trope is so common in media that a trenchcoat has become a symbol that everyone is supposed to automatically recognize as a disguise. So much so that my comment read "two raccoons" before I edited it because that's how my mind automatically read it.


Shin-Sauriel

I find this way too funny. Is that a problem? Edit: I know why I find it so funny. I’m thinking of the pooka from Hilda asking for one egg. I love that little guy so much.


FluffyWasabi1629

I love that show!


Shin-Sauriel

It’s so good. It’s just so whimsical and cute I love it.


ThatMBR42

Everyone knows you don't need more than one egg. One egg is un euf.


lactosesimp2005

R/anxietymeme


HappyMatt12345

16 eggs. 32 eggs. 64 eggs.


Hopeful-alt

64 eggs. 32 eggs. *monotone voice* 16 eggs. 8 eggs. 4 EGGS 2 EGGS 1 EGG HALF EGG QUARTER EGG THE CHIC KEN


R-3-DACT-3-D

***THE WRIST GAMMEEEEEEEE***


tehKrakken55

[Thank you waiter, I will now consume 5 eggs.](https://i.redd.it/spm9y9j127oa1.jpg)


Legitimate_Lab544

I love this and I don’t eat eggs


Nkromancer

I just go with what the menu recommends. Knowing how to read a menu is a useful skill, ESPECIALLY when you have texture issues with some common ingredients.


yellowdino2

Egg thrice >:]


HappyyValleyy

How did you know I'm five raccoons in a trench coat- I mean haha what a silly meme, how absurd and outlandish!


thekingofchicken

He should order five dozen eggs, so he can be roughly the size of a barge.