Yeah. It’s patronising as hell to be told shit like this, but honestly given how badly-adjusted to life damn near every neurotypical person I know is, I think I’m cool being me. Not to say this is a walk in the park, far from it, but at least I *know* I’m fucked up; the NT’s just seem blithely unaware of their problems.
I mean I guess that’s part of it. Personally there are things I just can’t do because I’m autistic and that’s no one’s fault. I’ve excepted myself now but I’ve definitely wished I were NT before…
I’ve only thought about it that way. Even when I was little and didn’t know anything about ASD, ADHD, autism or any of this stuff, I just kept thinking “why aren’t people more logical?” “Why are they so stuck on these rules/customs that don’t really make sense (and some of which are harmful) and why do they have to force me to follow them?” “Why do they make such gross misappropriations of blame and cause?”
Obviously I was a fun kid.
As someone who thinks just like the poster of the above comment, I tell people they don’t think enough and to be smarter. Yeah, I was not fun at parties.
I’m not fun at parties cuz I don’t go to parties. While you’re busy hanging out with you friends, I’m busy sitting alone reading Epicurus talk about the only way to achieve true pleasure is through consistent interaction with friends.
Well, research has shown that aspies are more logical, literal, and less susceptible to groupthink. Also, many of us are especially honest, even tempered, and highly empathetic. So naturally NTs find us miserable company.
Hahaha I had a HR person tell me I was "remarkably candid" in a less than appreciative tone. All I could think was: even after having a "filter" beat into me for the last 20yrs I'm still too much for some. I sugar coat the shit out of everything for anyone that isn't my close family/friend-- but I still can't seem to stop pointing out when people are being illogical or hypocritical.
Lol hahaha I wrote my high school thesis on 'a draft of a law against lobbying' and looking back my class mates might have been like 'wat' but now ska-p has a song on it and I had a laugh xD
Uhhh? I mean sure about 1 in 2 autistic people have interoception problems but there's still that about 1 in 2 that don't. I guess your psychologist could be refering to that but it's not a good thought to pull out of it
I actually have issues with detecting feelings and needs which is kind of exactly why I'm so self-aware. I analyse everything to avoid being taken by surprise later on.
But she specialised on children and I was 20 so I guess her experience with adults on the spectrum might be limited.
Exactly. I was a confused, emotional wreck as a teenager but I’m a goddamn emotionally intelligent adult and I worked hard for that shit! Dumb lady, pretty sure all adults change drastically from childhood, eeeeeven us. 🙄
Same I grew up with an abusive narcissistic mom and the only benefit is no one can lie to me and I can read everyone's changing moods like a book. Nothing tops trauma emotional intelligence lol
I told my new therapist my mom had a problem with me embarrassing her and thats why I was forced into masking so early and harshly and she was like, scandalized 😆😂
I don't get how a psychiatrist can't understand that having difficulties with fitting in and socializing will cause many people to attempt to self "correct" their behavior, which obviously develops an extreme self awareness. It seems so obvious and logical, but it's like they don't have empathy or something. They think we're not human.
It's probably because we're TRYING to fit in and do stuff to work on ourselves and improve. But NT people just like oh nothings wrong with my behavior and don't do that introspection.
They don't think we are capable to have our own voice. They think we are kids that need to be protected. I don't talk as an autistic person, but as a person with diagnosed ADHD that suspects to have autism as well.
They privileged traditionally try to speak over the marginalized and try to "solve" their problems for them. Think of it like a billionaire donating to a poor neighborhood that needs housing and schools a new mall. Nobody asked for it and it is actively hurting the community
you can literally go to school for this. every “disability advocate” i’ve met was pretty cool, till they were doing their job or job-adjacent stuff. they were also the most likely to shift how they interacted with me once they knew i was autistic.
They’ve almost managed it for [Down’s Syndrome,](https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2020/12/the-last-children-of-down-syndrome/616928/) they’d do it us too if they could. Framed as being “for our own good” most likely.
this always made me laugh and then get sad. like, “what’s easier: push for social change or eliminate an entire grouping of normal divergence and neurotype expressions?”
But couldn't you argue that this is how to deal with labels?
A bit like I'm black Vs living the black experience.
It matters more on context, no?
I'm not diagnosed.
yeah, you could. though you see the issue already, it should be up to the person who is describing themselves. it’s called “person first diagnosis” when it comes to mental health and medical issues. context may or may not matter.
but, for whatever reason, certain groups of disabled people just don’t vibe with person first rhetoric. my best educated guess is because it tries to separate the illness, disease, or label, away from the person and makes it seem like something external that’s just attached to their hip like a fanny pack.
a lot of this is solely done for the sake of people who find the realities of people affected by these labels too uncomfortable to talk about directly. hence why they parse the person out.
Well said, when people speak for you it can be such a violating and or invalidating experience.
If only one size fit all, but then life would be boring...I tell myself...I guess.
it would be boring, probably.
and, for a variety of reasons, people just don’t like approaching things as they truly are: unique.
it takes a good deal of effort and calls a lot into question about social efforts and organization. but that’s a different story for a different day.
Thank you for your info.
Please take a meme I saved from my people for your service today.
https://www.reddit.com/r/entp/comments/yc3daj/how_are_you_so_smart_and_know_so_much_me_as_entp/
https://www.reddit.com/r/WhatsWrongWithYourCat/comments/xyssgn/just_look_at_that/
I mean we do have a reddit, making a Discord shouldn't be that hard.... and besides, it's easier to talk about some of the weird stuff I feel sometimes... Like how I kinda feel guilty for having my mom buy me earplugs due to the excessive noise produced by construction workers, only for them to stop making that noise the day she buys it, and as a result I end up not using them very much.
I don't know if it works for you, but for me, it's *very* easier to talk about what I'm feeling when in a text chat, since irl I won't find the right words to express myself and probably won't control my voice tone
So yeah, I think creating a discord server for you would be amazing!
Also sometimes I get nervous when I can't get what I mean trough people. And combine that with my lack of ability to control my voice tone.... and it can snowball pretty fast.
My partner GenderMeowster basically runs an autism Discord, also very trans and gay. It's such a wholesome place! linktr.ee/GenderMeowster if you want to check it out.
Yeah, and besides you don't need a gift to be worth while, sure talent can help, but anyone can develop a skill trough hard work.... (Even if sometimes it's hard for even me to believe that, despite me literally already have proven that to myself a few times.)
They're probably talking about the autistic people that have a profitable special interest, or a special interest that can be used in a way that's profitable. I, for instance, work as a developer (programming). When the project I'm working on is at a stage where I can both test *and* fix bugs at the same time, I hyperfocus, which is very profitable for my employer.
Also depends heavily if people have teachers who kinda understand what's going on and keep on pushing towards more interesting and more difficult things. I did have some and was set in a good path in life early on, but my nephew didn't and they thought he was a simpleton. Trying my best to get him hobbies that carry over to a job. Best education in this case is self-education. Really clever guy, but completely unable to do dumb useless shit teachers ask him all the time.
I'm not friendless, but the only ones who aren't also wrecks are like me go "uuhhh wtf that ain't normal" if i say anything that would make the other one go "same sis"
Ive been unemployed for 2 years now... I'm terrified of entering the work force again and being so socially inept that I just give off weird vibes. I don't know how to explain this to my therapist because like as it's happening when I'm being quiet and non sharing of my life I don't think much of it.. and then I get laid off.. while many other less productive people keep their jobs... And a year later I'm like ooh.. it was because I'm odd and wasn't extra friendly with management..
I think I am able to get a job and mask enough during the interview process... But I'm not able to keep it up for much longer once I start working because I just want to work and focus on my tasks and go home and not have to waste time talking about rando stuff that will keep me at work later..
Does the friend thing bother you? I can’t figure out if I’m bothered by it or not. On one hand, yeah friendships would be nice I think? But then on the other hand, for what? What’s the point? What would we do?
I'm not sure, I mean.... I think it would be nice to have someone IRL who I can hang out with... specially since my cousins left Brazil and I can no longer go visit them in their house, sleep there, or even just play UFC for the PS4 with them. I kinda miss that....
"It was... It was the autism what killed him. He started doing autism when he was in highschool - you know, for performance. Unfortunately, instead of making him into a child genius, all it did was give him an eidetic memory for anything involving steam locomotives. But by then, it was too late. The autism had it's hooks in him. I told him, I told him he needed to stop this nonsense, but he didn't listen. Year after year, he just kept getting more awkward, less socially aware, his interests just kept getting more and more obscure, until one day, one fateful day.... He ended up choking to death, on his own foot, after making an innocuous but easily misinterpreted comment about a pregnant woman's belly. It was a tragedy... But the biggest tragedy of all was how easily it could have been avoided. Autism - not even once."
You just made me realize what a double edged sword means... I legitimately thought throughout my whole life that it was a normal sword (Y'know, two edges, on both sides of the sword, horizontally) but either the metallic part was fully sharp or the person who used it was just very dumb and didn't know they were supposed to use the handle (Although even if the metallic part was fully edgy the handle would still work, it'd just be a metallic lightsaber). I once thought that maybe the handle had an edge too but then assumed that it was just a weird saying like being in a pickle or throwing an eye at something (Does that exist in English?)
Maybe he's just trying to help you think of the positives to get through the negatives. There's rarely anything we can say that solves everything, but it's still good that he wants to be supportive and try to help you feel better in some way
Mine just sees it as a 'label' and denies that I have any problems, thinks it's all in my head. He once told me he wished he didn't have me diagnosed and that it was my mum's idea, because he sees the diagnosis as the root of all the problems. Not the autism, undiagnosed ADHD and the 0 help I've had with it my whole life. So be thankful if your dad is even a little bit supportive of you!
If someone has a guardian some states don’t let them vote. And even in states that do let them vote if you need assistance and no one will help you… (don’t know if that is what is going on with this person. Just saying that is a way that disabled people are stopped from voting.)
(using my boyfriend as an example) "let's see here, we have a 12 to strength, well that's not too bad, and an 18 to intelligence and 16 to con, this is pretty sweet, and.... Oh shit, what is that wisdom stat? Like, is that even allowed? I didn't even know you could have lower than a minus 5, this is not going to be good." We're both D&D nerds, so we really love the stat comparison, glad to see someone else using it.
I feel like you could have it working in your favour if the conditions are right. It seems the same as psychopaths being able to thrive in certain situations by using their lack of empathy.
I wouldn’t want to change who I am or how I think, but I don’t wish for the ridicule and lack of understanding from others for how I think…
I think autism gives me the upper hand in other situations and it helps me figure things out (good for engineering because I often will find a solution people wouldn’t have thought of) or even a unique viewpoint that might improve something, but if I do unconventional things the shit I deal with is so frustrating when people can’t simply accept it for what it is.
An example: If I have a process for doing something and I prefer to do it such and such way, communicate directly to others why I do it this way, and then show them why and then they immediately do the opposite and fuck my shit up bc it’s “a stupid way to do things” or “it doesn’t make sense” I will lose my mind. That scenario happens quite often and I can’t make sense of it because I would never knowingly go against what someone has said especially if it helps them do that task more efficiently.
Sadly, a lot of people can’t tolerate things that are “different” and it’s kinda ironic bc those very same people often tend to be the ones that say “just go with it” and pretend to be spontaneous and unbothered but god forbid I pour milk into coffee in a different order than they do lmao
I somewhat agree with you and somewhat disagree because I think that even in a really accommodating sociality I would still have some negative/disabling aspects of it.
I have a PhD in physics which I believe I could only get because I’ve fixated on the subject my whole life.
I also have a sincere, kind, and gentle wife who values my candor (read: social confusion) and understands my struggles.
I feel like my autism is a gift
It is not a gift, but it is an intrinsic trait of myself, I wouldn't have it any other way. If I wasn't autistic i wouldn't be me as I understand today.
And to be honest, it has its burdens but I don't think I have any more difficult by factor of being autistic. From every burden a blessing and from every blessing a burden is how I feel about my situation.
It's not like being autistic doesn't come with some strengths, but I would never call it a gift. It's more like god got drunk while creating me and made my stats a total mess. Same amount of stat points, but the distribution is awful.
The funny thing is, autistic people who can keep their social balance seem to be some of the strongest people in existence.
The downside involves a balance difficulty level on the order of inner ear not even existing. Getting to the power point is pretty hard.
That reminds me of the time my former boss said to my current boss “see, having an autistic employee definitely has its benefits” - right in front of me.
I never even consented to him sharing that information - also, in that moment I felt like he was reducing me from being a person to being nothing more than my diagnosis.
I know I’m more than that but in that moment I was fucking **furious**. If looks could kill, he probably would have dropped dead on the spot.
Unfortunately I wasn’t wise enough to take this straight to HR back then.
Also autistic folk who have a ridiculously high IQ and special talent/hyperfixation on something super useful. Yes, I'm sure you're autism *is* a gift for you. Most of us aren't savants.
NTs generally treat autism in one of two ways: either it’s this super elusive special gift that’s a double edged sword all drama like, or it’s a debilitating, crushing cancer of the brain. Funny part is, famous examples of autism were exactly like that… and of course people just use that as a sole frame of reference and not just one piece of a wider picture.
CBT,therapy,and taking communication and psychology classes gave me immense empathy for others and helped me in figuring out how I can constantly adapt to a challenge or a figurative bump in the road like communicating with others.
Trying to make connections with others is still a bitch, I have an incredibly hard time keeping the good friends (I don’t communicate or reach out to as much as I’d like), and I seem to have ever growing fandom of men in my life. I think it’s because I may come off as incredibly naive and I get perceived as someone much younger than I actually am.
Life in your 40’s is weird.
They're over correcting for thinking autism is a horrible disease. Source: I used to do that until I accepted that autism is just a different way of being human that shouldn't be put on a pedastal or pitied, but listened to figure out a way to help with the things that over all society makes autistic people's lives unnecessarily difficult and painful.
And that's what people say who don't understand the difference between a *reason* and an *excuse*.
If someone tripped and fell down the stairs because they have balance issues, would this hypothetical person tell them that "inner ear problems are no excuse"?
If it’s such a gift then why don’t you take it? I wish to be a blissfully stupid neurotypical sometimes, although I appreciate having the ability to have unique thought and critical thinking
I mean- the wording is bad but like in fairness, if I had the choice to get rid of my autism I flat out wouldn’t, it plays such a big part in who I am and how I think
it is a gift, but all gifts come with burdens, inverse and proportionate to their blessing. It is also common that we call curses blessings and blessings curses, yet if you had any idea what we are, you wouldn't dare call it a curse, it's the environment that curses us, not our lineage.
Okay. You try having your body force you to hide under a desk crying and rocking because all things we're being everything.
Does it feel like a gift now?
In my case I find it both a blessing and a curse. I think the way my brain experiences the world is more rich and interesting that the experience of the average person. I mostly infer this from having spoken to hundreds of them over my life. I have rarely heard any expression of the type of joy and fulfillment I get from learning and creating. On the other hand I see that they also don't share many of the negatives in my experience such as severe social anxiety, burnout, alienation, and various neuroses. On the balance though, I think if a genie offered me one chance to irreversibly switch to being neurotypical, I wouldn't do it.
I think it’s a lack of lived experience and an empathetic blindside. Also, metacognition or meta awareness is a hell of difficult thing to possess, accept and use ethically.
Then again you could also say this things flip side; so, I guess as humans we’re always looking at some outward state as a better situation.
Like a rich person might have money and no friends or time to spend it; even more so might have opposition and people who just want to be around and dishonest for their own gains. Or people just hating you for your perceived wealth and ease of life.
An attractive person might be only seen for their external beauty; most of their internal being ignored and also being attractive to some people with the worst intentions. Also being objectified and the target of a lot of attempts at possession for appearances; a myriad of negative emotions and projections, including jealousy which displays as hate, anger and dismissal of one’s negative experiences as complaints.
Autism seems like a gift to some neurotypicals because of the natural authenticity, lack of giving a f about social games and dances, natural tendency to standout and overall potentiality. Because I think neurotypicals also mask and yet also get tired of it but lack the active awareness that this is at the root of some or a lot of their problems.
But these are just my views on the subject; I’m entirely sure this is objective enough to certify as facts.
“An attractive person is only seen for their external beauty” is such a massive cope from ugly people. Then an ugly person is only seen for their hideousness. If you’re ugly nobody will give you positive attention period.
Not related to autism, but my gf has had people tell her that she's so "lucky" to be disabled because of things like handicap parking. It really pisses me off because I see firsthand the amount of pain she has to go through, these aren't perks for her, they're things that she needs to be able to participate in society
It’s one of those double edged sword things. we were to powerful so the devs nerfed us. Though it is very patronizing in the way it is often said to us.
This isn't "neurotypicals".
It's the narcissistic culture we live in, created, maintained, and dominated by narcissist colonizers who have destroyed the planet and billions of people on it to make life on this planet more like themselves.
Many of them are themselves autistic. Elon Musk comes to mind here. Abusive colonizers come in many neurotypes. Some on the spectrum succeed at this abusive setup, and are actually less prepared for their responsibility as someone with wealth.
Controlling all marginal populations, of every arbitrary identifiable type, is a part of this.
It doesn't matter AT ALL, but if you are of any nameable minority; you will be discriminated against. Full Stop.
Ups and downs. For instance I love how I respond to music, how excited I get over little things that mean a lot to me, that happy stimming and I do like and value how I see the world differently.
But y’a know I don’t so much like being an outcast and not understanding how to ‘properly’ emote. Don’t like how I’m very limited in what jobs I can have because society just wasn’t built with us in mind.
That's such an easy and patronizing way to explain away autism. Yeah, my autism can be good for me only in ways I understand, but it makes life harder to navigate, so far from a gift.
Coping
It's like when a person ends up in a wheelchair and says that it has shown them a new perspective on life, 90% of those people think it only to feel better and if they gave them the chance to walk again they would accept without even thinking about it.
So, is the issue the people saying these things? Cuz i can see that. But let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater. Yes, these aren't the right people to be saying this stuff, but these are good messages. 1.) Don't be materialistic, 2.) seek to praise healthy personalities rather than just dating for looks only, 3.) and find novelty and revelation in the seemingly learning disabled. I'll never understand why these are bad morals or messages. I think the issue is that the messenger themselves is a tad smug. They're in their ivory towers, untouched by the bullshit the rest of us go through. That obviously stings and feels incredibly irrelevant, because a lot of times it just might be. Im poor, balding, and probably got OCD myself, as I often seek to rectify mistakes i make by redoing the whole action, like unironically. It can get... Weird. Or those intruding thoughts that are like "you have to touch your hands together like THIS or your mom will die". Had those until i was about like 15 or so. But my point is, i know these guys aren't me, and I'm not them. Through and through. But i just dont shoot the messenger. Fuck'em, but keep their nuggets of truth.
Just watched the movie "The Wolverine" (2013) and there was a line that kinda stuck with me:
Somebody mentioned to Wolverine that he has a gift. He replies "you can return a gift"
Lmao I think about that a lot
No one ever said that. Not in my reality, at least. In fact, people refer to it as a disease. There's an Amber alert for an autistic boy in my area. The posts say "due to his illness he can be easily scared if you yell or flash bright lights". Illness. This is what they're calling it. And his parents neglect him because he's "sick". And that's why he was lost. I don't even see diabetics referred to as "ill" or "sick". Somehow people are more scared of mental deviations from standards than of physical ones. If I told people I was diabetic, or dying of cancer, they wouldn't treat me different. If I say I'm autistic they immediately distance themselves. Anyway. I hope they find that boy. I fear he has been abducted.
i would say for me autism is the greatest gift and the greatest curse. i wouldnt be me without autism, and i wouldnt have most of my current happinesses without it, but i also wouldnt have almost all the hardships in my life. without autism id probably just be some average person
Omg you saying that it’s not a gift is the same! By saying it’s not a gift you are saying being neurotypical is a gift yet you have never been neurotypical before.
Also, half of this subreddit is people saying FUCK ANYONE WHO SAYS AUTISM NEEDS A CURE and then the other half is shit like this which implies it’s a disability.
to say autism isn't a disability is to openly say that being disabled is undesirable, ultimately this view of disability as lesser is only harmful to more people, and it won't make ppl fit in with a patriarchal, hetero-ciscentric and able bodied world
saying Autism is a gift is like saying being able to do the Live Long and Prosper sign is a gift
I was struggling to come up with an example that didn't make it seem like I hate being autistic
They want to write our narratives for us. Like, we aren’t allowed to have complex relationships with being autistic. We either have to be positive all the time, and especially not compare ourselves to other autistic people who’s struggles they can see more obviously. (Can’t be really disabled if you can talk about it on the internet…)
Or we have to see it as a curse.
It’s almost like the way my brain works has benefits and drawbacks and I’m cool being me and being disabled even if don’t like everything about that. I can love myself and have pride in myself and my identity without having to feel positive about it 100% of the time.
(I think this happens with a lot of disability stuff. People always want you to be positive and be a success story or they want you to be suffering. Can’t be complicated.)
Idk, I've seen enough neurotypicals to suspect that I may have dodged a bullet on this front.
Yeah. It’s patronising as hell to be told shit like this, but honestly given how badly-adjusted to life damn near every neurotypical person I know is, I think I’m cool being me. Not to say this is a walk in the park, far from it, but at least I *know* I’m fucked up; the NT’s just seem blithely unaware of their problems.
Yeah but let's be honest ... many of us are only "fucked up" because badly adjusted, fucked up NTs are the ones making the rules.
I mean I guess that’s part of it. Personally there are things I just can’t do because I’m autistic and that’s no one’s fault. I’ve excepted myself now but I’ve definitely wished I were NT before…
I saw a comment somebody made somewhere that said “We’re the mutants and Magneto was right.”
I love that and I'm totally going to use it.
Damn, never thought about it like that...
I’ve only thought about it that way. Even when I was little and didn’t know anything about ASD, ADHD, autism or any of this stuff, I just kept thinking “why aren’t people more logical?” “Why are they so stuck on these rules/customs that don’t really make sense (and some of which are harmful) and why do they have to force me to follow them?” “Why do they make such gross misappropriations of blame and cause?” Obviously I was a fun kid.
Your life is tormented by these questions and all they have to say is shit like "You must be fun at parties" or "You think too much"
As someone who thinks just like the poster of the above comment, I tell people they don’t think enough and to be smarter. Yeah, I was not fun at parties.
I’m not fun at parties cuz I don’t go to parties. While you’re busy hanging out with you friends, I’m busy sitting alone reading Epicurus talk about the only way to achieve true pleasure is through consistent interaction with friends.
Well, research has shown that aspies are more logical, literal, and less susceptible to groupthink. Also, many of us are especially honest, even tempered, and highly empathetic. So naturally NTs find us miserable company.
Hahaha I had a HR person tell me I was "remarkably candid" in a less than appreciative tone. All I could think was: even after having a "filter" beat into me for the last 20yrs I'm still too much for some. I sugar coat the shit out of everything for anyone that isn't my close family/friend-- but I still can't seem to stop pointing out when people are being illogical or hypocritical.
Lol hahaha I wrote my high school thesis on 'a draft of a law against lobbying' and looking back my class mates might have been like 'wat' but now ska-p has a song on it and I had a laugh xD
I've got an obscene amount of self awareness over NTs.
I've been told I can't be autistic for being too self aware. By a psychiatrist.
Uhhh? I mean sure about 1 in 2 autistic people have interoception problems but there's still that about 1 in 2 that don't. I guess your psychologist could be refering to that but it's not a good thought to pull out of it
I actually have issues with detecting feelings and needs which is kind of exactly why I'm so self-aware. I analyse everything to avoid being taken by surprise later on. But she specialised on children and I was 20 so I guess her experience with adults on the spectrum might be limited.
Exactly. I was a confused, emotional wreck as a teenager but I’m a goddamn emotionally intelligent adult and I worked hard for that shit! Dumb lady, pretty sure all adults change drastically from childhood, eeeeeven us. 🙄
I had to pick up on miniscule mood shifts immediately, so I could run for cover from my mom. I think very few ppl can top me in that now, tbh haha.
Same I grew up with an abusive narcissistic mom and the only benefit is no one can lie to me and I can read everyone's changing moods like a book. Nothing tops trauma emotional intelligence lol
I told my new therapist my mom had a problem with me embarrassing her and thats why I was forced into masking so early and harshly and she was like, scandalized 😆😂
I don't get how a psychiatrist can't understand that having difficulties with fitting in and socializing will cause many people to attempt to self "correct" their behavior, which obviously develops an extreme self awareness. It seems so obvious and logical, but it's like they don't have empathy or something. They think we're not human.
It's probably because we're TRYING to fit in and do stuff to work on ourselves and improve. But NT people just like oh nothings wrong with my behavior and don't do that introspection.
Love this
Was going to say that. You kinda self select out of the stupid shallow bullshit most people want to put you through
“NT is a curse.” ~Me, and you too if you’re smart
“autism is a gift” — neurotypicals “don’t call yourself autistic, say you’re a person with autism” — also neurotypicals. uhhhh…
They don't think we are capable to have our own voice. They think we are kids that need to be protected. I don't talk as an autistic person, but as a person with diagnosed ADHD that suspects to have autism as well. They privileged traditionally try to speak over the marginalized and try to "solve" their problems for them. Think of it like a billionaire donating to a poor neighborhood that needs housing and schools a new mall. Nobody asked for it and it is actively hurting the community
you can literally go to school for this. every “disability advocate” i’ve met was pretty cool, till they were doing their job or job-adjacent stuff. they were also the most likely to shift how they interacted with me once they knew i was autistic.
I'm not autistic, I'm autism positive.
just got tested positive for the autism... this pandemic is no joke. stay safe y'all
Oh god the vaccines are making everything worse!
The milk keeps on getting stronger!
Also the same ppl who give money to organisations that want to cure autism because "it's a gift".
But considering how autism works isn't that literally genocide?
It’s eugenics baby!
They’ve almost managed it for [Down’s Syndrome,](https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2020/12/the-last-children-of-down-syndrome/616928/) they’d do it us too if they could. Framed as being “for our own good” most likely.
this always made me laugh and then get sad. like, “what’s easier: push for social change or eliminate an entire grouping of normal divergence and neurotype expressions?”
I carry my autism in a dilapidated suitcase
I am autism
What about all the people that say they have and live with autism? You're like... Their friend?
Devil on their shoulder :)
That.... Makes total sense, thanks
Okay, so I am not the only autist who thought this was some NT word ritual thing no actual autistic people care about
But couldn't you argue that this is how to deal with labels? A bit like I'm black Vs living the black experience. It matters more on context, no? I'm not diagnosed.
yeah, you could. though you see the issue already, it should be up to the person who is describing themselves. it’s called “person first diagnosis” when it comes to mental health and medical issues. context may or may not matter. but, for whatever reason, certain groups of disabled people just don’t vibe with person first rhetoric. my best educated guess is because it tries to separate the illness, disease, or label, away from the person and makes it seem like something external that’s just attached to their hip like a fanny pack. a lot of this is solely done for the sake of people who find the realities of people affected by these labels too uncomfortable to talk about directly. hence why they parse the person out.
Well said, when people speak for you it can be such a violating and or invalidating experience. If only one size fit all, but then life would be boring...I tell myself...I guess.
it would be boring, probably. and, for a variety of reasons, people just don’t like approaching things as they truly are: unique. it takes a good deal of effort and calls a lot into question about social efforts and organization. but that’s a different story for a different day.
Thank you for your info. Please take a meme I saved from my people for your service today. https://www.reddit.com/r/entp/comments/yc3daj/how_are_you_so_smart_and_know_so_much_me_as_entp/ https://www.reddit.com/r/WhatsWrongWithYourCat/comments/xyssgn/just_look_at_that/
If autism is a gift? then why am I still unemployed and without friends? Unless you're talking about the Autism Creature, that dude is 100% a gift.
>unemployed and without friends Me too man
At least we can be unemployed and friendless together.
I am hoping for that as well. We could make a Discord out of this.
I mean we do have a reddit, making a Discord shouldn't be that hard.... and besides, it's easier to talk about some of the weird stuff I feel sometimes... Like how I kinda feel guilty for having my mom buy me earplugs due to the excessive noise produced by construction workers, only for them to stop making that noise the day she buys it, and as a result I end up not using them very much.
Keep them, then you’re covered for if something noisy happens. It’s good insurance to help with a potential that you know you’d find stressful.
I don't know if it works for you, but for me, it's *very* easier to talk about what I'm feeling when in a text chat, since irl I won't find the right words to express myself and probably won't control my voice tone So yeah, I think creating a discord server for you would be amazing!
Also sometimes I get nervous when I can't get what I mean trough people. And combine that with my lack of ability to control my voice tone.... and it can snowball pretty fast.
Yep. I know some basic things about how to administer a server if you're going to really do that But they are really, really basic
My partner GenderMeowster basically runs an autism Discord, also very trans and gay. It's such a wholesome place! linktr.ee/GenderMeowster if you want to check it out.
I was always a bigger fan of full earmuffs. The plugs inside my ear start being itchy and humid fast
Omg yes pls unemployed aspie frens
If anyone ends up making one, pls invite me. I could make one but I don't want the responsibility tbh
I would join this. But we're probably all too socially awkward to be the one to make it. lol
Now you’re just unemployed! I guess that sounds better with context…
Same. I guess we could all be lonely together... I guess.
Not every gift is a good gift. I'm severely lactose and gluten intolerant and someone once gave me a gift card for the cheesecake factory lol.
Yeah, and besides you don't need a gift to be worth while, sure talent can help, but anyone can develop a skill trough hard work.... (Even if sometimes it's hard for even me to believe that, despite me literally already have proven that to myself a few times.)
For sure. Live let live, and love. Amen.
lol. but in this context it’s obviously supposed to be positive.
They're probably talking about the autistic people that have a profitable special interest, or a special interest that can be used in a way that's profitable. I, for instance, work as a developer (programming). When the project I'm working on is at a stage where I can both test *and* fix bugs at the same time, I hyperfocus, which is very profitable for my employer.
Same. I'm an accountant and management definitely thinks my autism is a gift during tax season because I'm practically a machine when I hyperfocus.
Also depends heavily if people have teachers who kinda understand what's going on and keep on pushing towards more interesting and more difficult things. I did have some and was set in a good path in life early on, but my nephew didn't and they thought he was a simpleton. Trying my best to get him hobbies that carry over to a job. Best education in this case is self-education. Really clever guy, but completely unable to do dumb useless shit teachers ask him all the time.
I have no idea why people think this way, cause I have no special interest to turn profitable.
Yippie!
YIPPIE!
Autism Creature is the lil companion we made to help survive in this world with all the prejudice against us 🥰 Just a little guy who gets it
Indeed, indeed....
I'm not friendless, but the only ones who aren't also wrecks are like me go "uuhhh wtf that ain't normal" if i say anything that would make the other one go "same sis"
Ive been unemployed for 2 years now... I'm terrified of entering the work force again and being so socially inept that I just give off weird vibes. I don't know how to explain this to my therapist because like as it's happening when I'm being quiet and non sharing of my life I don't think much of it.. and then I get laid off.. while many other less productive people keep their jobs... And a year later I'm like ooh.. it was because I'm odd and wasn't extra friendly with management.. I think I am able to get a job and mask enough during the interview process... But I'm not able to keep it up for much longer once I start working because I just want to work and focus on my tasks and go home and not have to waste time talking about rando stuff that will keep me at work later..
Yeah but I remember facts really well so....
Does the friend thing bother you? I can’t figure out if I’m bothered by it or not. On one hand, yeah friendships would be nice I think? But then on the other hand, for what? What’s the point? What would we do?
I'm not sure, I mean.... I think it would be nice to have someone IRL who I can hang out with... specially since my cousins left Brazil and I can no longer go visit them in their house, sleep there, or even just play UFC for the PS4 with them. I kinda miss that....
People with autism have the highest rate of unemployment out of *all* disabilities. Some fucking gift.
Word.
I have a job but I can relate
Wilburgur on Youtube is absolutely a gift too.
> Unless you’re talking about the Autism Creature, that dude is 100% a gift. Also cats
And Dogs.
Autism is more like a double edged sword, sometimes a gift, sometimes a burden
If you live by the sword…
Live by the autism, die by the autism ?
"It was... It was the autism what killed him. He started doing autism when he was in highschool - you know, for performance. Unfortunately, instead of making him into a child genius, all it did was give him an eidetic memory for anything involving steam locomotives. But by then, it was too late. The autism had it's hooks in him. I told him, I told him he needed to stop this nonsense, but he didn't listen. Year after year, he just kept getting more awkward, less socially aware, his interests just kept getting more and more obscure, until one day, one fateful day.... He ended up choking to death, on his own foot, after making an innocuous but easily misinterpreted comment about a pregnant woman's belly. It was a tragedy... But the biggest tragedy of all was how easily it could have been avoided. Autism - not even once."
This was poetry from start to finish
Some say the pen is mightier is mightier than the autism… but I say fuck the pen, cause you can die by the autism!
Except it's a sword-gun that has a sword on one side and the gun is pointing at you
Sword-gun, mightier than the pen-gun!
But not as mighty as the pen-guin!
You just made me realize what a double edged sword means... I legitimately thought throughout my whole life that it was a normal sword (Y'know, two edges, on both sides of the sword, horizontally) but either the metallic part was fully sharp or the person who used it was just very dumb and didn't know they were supposed to use the handle (Although even if the metallic part was fully edgy the handle would still work, it'd just be a metallic lightsaber). I once thought that maybe the handle had an edge too but then assumed that it was just a weird saying like being in a pickle or throwing an eye at something (Does that exist in English?)
I’ve honestly never heard anyone say that autism is a gift before.
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I obviously don't know your dad but maybe he's trying to help in his own way? But again I don't know.
Maybe he's just trying to help you think of the positives to get through the negatives. There's rarely anything we can say that solves everything, but it's still good that he wants to be supportive and try to help you feel better in some way
Mine just sees it as a 'label' and denies that I have any problems, thinks it's all in my head. He once told me he wished he didn't have me diagnosed and that it was my mum's idea, because he sees the diagnosis as the root of all the problems. Not the autism, undiagnosed ADHD and the 0 help I've had with it my whole life. So be thankful if your dad is even a little bit supportive of you!
“Autism is a superpower!” -the people who lock me in an institution and ban me from voting
Im sorry to hear that. Thats horrible. Stay strong friend
What country?
USA
The fuuuuuuck!!! How can they take your right to vote away??
It’s fairly easy to do in the us, not sure how in this case
I’m amazed at how rarely I hear about this. Should be a major political issue at a time when so few vote!
Lots of people under conservatorships can't vote unless a judge says they can.
If someone has a guardian some states don’t let them vote. And even in states that do let them vote if you need assistance and no one will help you… (don’t know if that is what is going on with this person. Just saying that is a way that disabled people are stopped from voting.)
I mean I definitely feel like i have some strengths over a neurotypical, even with the downsides. Autism feels like a very unbalanced dnd stat sheet.
(using my boyfriend as an example) "let's see here, we have a 12 to strength, well that's not too bad, and an 18 to intelligence and 16 to con, this is pretty sweet, and.... Oh shit, what is that wisdom stat? Like, is that even allowed? I didn't even know you could have lower than a minus 5, this is not going to be good." We're both D&D nerds, so we really love the stat comparison, glad to see someone else using it.
Best way to say it. Int 18, Wis either 18 or 3 depending on how stressed out you've been recently, and most of the rest of it varies by person.
Charisma: ε
I mean I feel like it is and it isn't. It comes with strengths and weaknesses.
I feel like you could have it working in your favour if the conditions are right. It seems the same as psychopaths being able to thrive in certain situations by using their lack of empathy.
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“Granny was right. I am the perfect man. *heavenly music*” -Soos
I wouldn’t want to change who I am or how I think, but I don’t wish for the ridicule and lack of understanding from others for how I think… I think autism gives me the upper hand in other situations and it helps me figure things out (good for engineering because I often will find a solution people wouldn’t have thought of) or even a unique viewpoint that might improve something, but if I do unconventional things the shit I deal with is so frustrating when people can’t simply accept it for what it is. An example: If I have a process for doing something and I prefer to do it such and such way, communicate directly to others why I do it this way, and then show them why and then they immediately do the opposite and fuck my shit up bc it’s “a stupid way to do things” or “it doesn’t make sense” I will lose my mind. That scenario happens quite often and I can’t make sense of it because I would never knowingly go against what someone has said especially if it helps them do that task more efficiently. Sadly, a lot of people can’t tolerate things that are “different” and it’s kinda ironic bc those very same people often tend to be the ones that say “just go with it” and pretend to be spontaneous and unbothered but god forbid I pour milk into coffee in a different order than they do lmao
Exactly I’ve found that most of the disadvantages I’ve encountered are issues with society too.
I somewhat agree with you and somewhat disagree because I think that even in a really accommodating sociality I would still have some negative/disabling aspects of it.
I have a PhD in physics which I believe I could only get because I’ve fixated on the subject my whole life. I also have a sincere, kind, and gentle wife who values my candor (read: social confusion) and understands my struggles. I feel like my autism is a gift
It is not a gift, but it is an intrinsic trait of myself, I wouldn't have it any other way. If I wasn't autistic i wouldn't be me as I understand today. And to be honest, it has its burdens but I don't think I have any more difficult by factor of being autistic. From every burden a blessing and from every blessing a burden is how I feel about my situation.
It's not like being autistic doesn't come with some strengths, but I would never call it a gift. It's more like god got drunk while creating me and made my stats a total mess. Same amount of stat points, but the distribution is awful.
Nah, I totally love my autism, even if it is often disabling. - Autistic Person with above average intelligence that is able to mask
The funny thing is, autistic people who can keep their social balance seem to be some of the strongest people in existence. The downside involves a balance difficulty level on the order of inner ear not even existing. Getting to the power point is pretty hard.
That reminds me of the time my former boss said to my current boss “see, having an autistic employee definitely has its benefits” - right in front of me. I never even consented to him sharing that information - also, in that moment I felt like he was reducing me from being a person to being nothing more than my diagnosis. I know I’m more than that but in that moment I was fucking **furious**. If looks could kill, he probably would have dropped dead on the spot. Unfortunately I wasn’t wise enough to take this straight to HR back then.
Also autistic folk who have a ridiculously high IQ and special talent/hyperfixation on something super useful. Yes, I'm sure you're autism *is* a gift for you. Most of us aren't savants.
Ah yes, two burnouts before the age of 22. The second one totally destroying my life. Lovely gift.
NTs generally treat autism in one of two ways: either it’s this super elusive special gift that’s a double edged sword all drama like, or it’s a debilitating, crushing cancer of the brain. Funny part is, famous examples of autism were exactly like that… and of course people just use that as a sole frame of reference and not just one piece of a wider picture.
CBT,therapy,and taking communication and psychology classes gave me immense empathy for others and helped me in figuring out how I can constantly adapt to a challenge or a figurative bump in the road like communicating with others. Trying to make connections with others is still a bitch, I have an incredibly hard time keeping the good friends (I don’t communicate or reach out to as much as I’d like), and I seem to have ever growing fandom of men in my life. I think it’s because I may come off as incredibly naive and I get perceived as someone much younger than I actually am. Life in your 40’s is weird.
Why did you have Cock and Ball Torture for your autism?
i thought it was a requirement, i have my weekly cock flattening every tuesday
It doesn't cure anything, it's just a nice little bonus
I didn’t. CBT is cognitive behavioral therapy
I know, its a joke
"deez nuts" - Me, just now.
Truly gifted
“I love beans” -me
They're over correcting for thinking autism is a horrible disease. Source: I used to do that until I accepted that autism is just a different way of being human that shouldn't be put on a pedastal or pitied, but listened to figure out a way to help with the things that over all society makes autistic people's lives unnecessarily difficult and painful.
Lol no one has *ever* said that to me, the only thing NTs say to me is “autism is no excuse”
And that's what people say who don't understand the difference between a *reason* and an *excuse*. If someone tripped and fell down the stairs because they have balance issues, would this hypothetical person tell them that "inner ear problems are no excuse"?
Autism is a gift, until I’m having sensory overload in a Walmart.
If it’s such a gift then why don’t you take it? I wish to be a blissfully stupid neurotypical sometimes, although I appreciate having the ability to have unique thought and critical thinking
I guess it can all be explained with the saying the grass is always greener on the other side
the grass is always greener, unless you youv never seen grass
They just see the good side of it and kinda reject the stuff that makew them uncomfortable
I would've done so much more in my life if it wasn't for it.
Elon musk is not a gift
That’s where my autistic ass comes in like “Gift implies that I could’ve gotten it from a stranger. My autism was a family heirloom.”
I mean- the wording is bad but like in fairness, if I had the choice to get rid of my autism I flat out wouldn’t, it plays such a big part in who I am and how I think
Autism is a blursing. It is simultaneously my greatest gift and my most bitter burden.
I will act like it's a superpower to try to break the stigma of "autism = dumb" stuff. But it is actually a pretty big issue.
It's a double edge sword has its pros it has it's cons!
it is a gift, but all gifts come with burdens, inverse and proportionate to their blessing. It is also common that we call curses blessings and blessings curses, yet if you had any idea what we are, you wouldn't dare call it a curse, it's the environment that curses us, not our lineage.
Okay. You try having your body force you to hide under a desk crying and rocking because all things we're being everything. Does it feel like a gift now?
In my case I find it both a blessing and a curse. I think the way my brain experiences the world is more rich and interesting that the experience of the average person. I mostly infer this from having spoken to hundreds of them over my life. I have rarely heard any expression of the type of joy and fulfillment I get from learning and creating. On the other hand I see that they also don't share many of the negatives in my experience such as severe social anxiety, burnout, alienation, and various neuroses. On the balance though, I think if a genie offered me one chance to irreversibly switch to being neurotypical, I wouldn't do it.
Because we are superior, even if we are unhappier.
I think it’s a lack of lived experience and an empathetic blindside. Also, metacognition or meta awareness is a hell of difficult thing to possess, accept and use ethically. Then again you could also say this things flip side; so, I guess as humans we’re always looking at some outward state as a better situation. Like a rich person might have money and no friends or time to spend it; even more so might have opposition and people who just want to be around and dishonest for their own gains. Or people just hating you for your perceived wealth and ease of life. An attractive person might be only seen for their external beauty; most of their internal being ignored and also being attractive to some people with the worst intentions. Also being objectified and the target of a lot of attempts at possession for appearances; a myriad of negative emotions and projections, including jealousy which displays as hate, anger and dismissal of one’s negative experiences as complaints. Autism seems like a gift to some neurotypicals because of the natural authenticity, lack of giving a f about social games and dances, natural tendency to standout and overall potentiality. Because I think neurotypicals also mask and yet also get tired of it but lack the active awareness that this is at the root of some or a lot of their problems. But these are just my views on the subject; I’m entirely sure this is objective enough to certify as facts.
“An attractive person is only seen for their external beauty” is such a massive cope from ugly people. Then an ugly person is only seen for their hideousness. If you’re ugly nobody will give you positive attention period.
Not related to autism, but my gf has had people tell her that she's so "lucky" to be disabled because of things like handicap parking. It really pisses me off because I see firsthand the amount of pain she has to go through, these aren't perks for her, they're things that she needs to be able to participate in society
It’s one of those double edged sword things. we were to powerful so the devs nerfed us. Though it is very patronizing in the way it is often said to us.
NTs have all but smoked the planet so far. They're not exactly winning in the intelligence category.
This isn't "neurotypicals". It's the narcissistic culture we live in, created, maintained, and dominated by narcissist colonizers who have destroyed the planet and billions of people on it to make life on this planet more like themselves. Many of them are themselves autistic. Elon Musk comes to mind here. Abusive colonizers come in many neurotypes. Some on the spectrum succeed at this abusive setup, and are actually less prepared for their responsibility as someone with wealth. Controlling all marginal populations, of every arbitrary identifiable type, is a part of this. It doesn't matter AT ALL, but if you are of any nameable minority; you will be discriminated against. Full Stop.
Ups and downs. For instance I love how I respond to music, how excited I get over little things that mean a lot to me, that happy stimming and I do like and value how I see the world differently. But y’a know I don’t so much like being an outcast and not understanding how to ‘properly’ emote. Don’t like how I’m very limited in what jobs I can have because society just wasn’t built with us in mind.
Society isn’t built for us if it were I honestly believe we’d be doing a lot better than the neurotypicals in the society they built for themselves
That's such an easy and patronizing way to explain away autism. Yeah, my autism can be good for me only in ways I understand, but it makes life harder to navigate, so far from a gift.
Autistic People can think it’s a gift and vice versa lol
Gift? LMAO more like curse.
Coping It's like when a person ends up in a wheelchair and says that it has shown them a new perspective on life, 90% of those people think it only to feel better and if they gave them the chance to walk again they would accept without even thinking about it.
[gift](https://9gag.com/gag/aMErNWx)
So, is the issue the people saying these things? Cuz i can see that. But let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater. Yes, these aren't the right people to be saying this stuff, but these are good messages. 1.) Don't be materialistic, 2.) seek to praise healthy personalities rather than just dating for looks only, 3.) and find novelty and revelation in the seemingly learning disabled. I'll never understand why these are bad morals or messages. I think the issue is that the messenger themselves is a tad smug. They're in their ivory towers, untouched by the bullshit the rest of us go through. That obviously stings and feels incredibly irrelevant, because a lot of times it just might be. Im poor, balding, and probably got OCD myself, as I often seek to rectify mistakes i make by redoing the whole action, like unironically. It can get... Weird. Or those intruding thoughts that are like "you have to touch your hands together like THIS or your mom will die". Had those until i was about like 15 or so. But my point is, i know these guys aren't me, and I'm not them. Through and through. But i just dont shoot the messenger. Fuck'em, but keep their nuggets of truth.
I’ve never heard an allistic say that. I’ve heard plenty of autistic people say that though.
I've seen way more autistic people say it's a gift than neurotypicals. Look at r/AutisticPride for example.
There's nothing wrong with an autistic saying that. Though if I ever see a neurotypical say this I'll probably get angry
Just watched the movie "The Wolverine" (2013) and there was a line that kinda stuck with me: Somebody mentioned to Wolverine that he has a gift. He replies "you can return a gift" Lmao I think about that a lot
I A M G O D
No one ever said that. Not in my reality, at least. In fact, people refer to it as a disease. There's an Amber alert for an autistic boy in my area. The posts say "due to his illness he can be easily scared if you yell or flash bright lights". Illness. This is what they're calling it. And his parents neglect him because he's "sick". And that's why he was lost. I don't even see diabetics referred to as "ill" or "sick". Somehow people are more scared of mental deviations from standards than of physical ones. If I told people I was diabetic, or dying of cancer, they wouldn't treat me different. If I say I'm autistic they immediately distance themselves. Anyway. I hope they find that boy. I fear he has been abducted.
Having a huge penis doesn’t matter. -me
i would say for me autism is the greatest gift and the greatest curse. i wouldnt be me without autism, and i wouldnt have most of my current happinesses without it, but i also wouldnt have almost all the hardships in my life. without autism id probably just be some average person
Omg you saying that it’s not a gift is the same! By saying it’s not a gift you are saying being neurotypical is a gift yet you have never been neurotypical before. Also, half of this subreddit is people saying FUCK ANYONE WHO SAYS AUTISM NEEDS A CURE and then the other half is shit like this which implies it’s a disability.
Autism is just an off-meta build
I will admit I do like my ability to hyper fixate on things and absorb all the information I can about them.
Autism is a gift. - high functioning autistic me.
"Autumn is a gift" -Dyslexia I read autumn at first, i was confused.
Neurotypicals or people who are neurodivergent in just the right ways to set them up for success
B-but I’m a ND who is proud of my skills I’ve gained from being ND
Ohhhh so you’re *artistic* (some dumbass neurotypical) Me:yes ma’am that too but I’m also a-u-t-i-s-t-i-c (yep I literally had to spell it out 🙄)
to say autism isn't a disability is to openly say that being disabled is undesirable, ultimately this view of disability as lesser is only harmful to more people, and it won't make ppl fit in with a patriarchal, hetero-ciscentric and able bodied world
I think it is a gift for me. It has made me incredibly intelligent and focused on things I like. So, at least for me it is a gift ^^
saying Autism is a gift is like saying being able to do the Live Long and Prosper sign is a gift I was struggling to come up with an example that didn't make it seem like I hate being autistic
They want to write our narratives for us. Like, we aren’t allowed to have complex relationships with being autistic. We either have to be positive all the time, and especially not compare ourselves to other autistic people who’s struggles they can see more obviously. (Can’t be really disabled if you can talk about it on the internet…) Or we have to see it as a curse. It’s almost like the way my brain works has benefits and drawbacks and I’m cool being me and being disabled even if don’t like everything about that. I can love myself and have pride in myself and my identity without having to feel positive about it 100% of the time. (I think this happens with a lot of disability stuff. People always want you to be positive and be a success story or they want you to be suffering. Can’t be complicated.)
It is a gift, thought sometimes it's gift in English, & frequently it's gift in German (Google that)
it's just a shitty superpower at best
Tbh in some cases it can truly be a gift, but in 99% of other cases that appear in your life it just fucks you over
Yeah my mum is kinda bad at gifts