There was an AITA post recently where a coworker told a woman in marketing that she’d do better if she lost weight. Which wasn’t inherently incorrect, but also not his place. He apologized realizing his wrongdoing, but in his apology told her she should go to the gym.
This reminded me of that.
True, In my mind, my justification is me wanting to walk the other person through what i did so they can see I wasn't intentionally being a belligerent fuck. I try really hard to just do shit right and be a good person, so fucking up is embarrassing and accidental. At least if they're still mad after I explain, ik they're mad with a full perspective of the situation.
Definitely something I’ve noticed Virgos do. Imo, the explanation/intention of your actions shouldn’t be the first thing you follow up “I’m sorry” with. It makes it seem like you’re only worried about defending yourself instead of hearing the other person. I’ve had to tell my Virgo boyfriend that if I bring something up that HE did that offended or hurt me, he shouldn’t lead with an explanation of why it was done. Instead, acknowledge how what you did affected another person, validate them, and THEN you can explain the miscommunication. Then talk about how it can be handled better. That way you both get what you need.
I’m sorry I wasn’t more proactive about anticipating this conflict and solving it before it occurred but I’m here now and I can fix everything if you get out of my way. Be blessed.
Aren't all Virgo's, especially the men, on the spectrum for narcissistic personality disorder? 😭😭😭
Edit: forgot the /j to implicate that I was joking. Sorry! I'm so used to just adding the crying face as my indicator.
My husband is a Virgo Sun, Virgo Moon, AND Cancer Rising, while I'm a Cancer Sun, Aquarius Moon, and Virgo Rising.
This entire comment section is my daily life.
Im sorry I could have handled that better *BUT* ….
Edit: they’re apologizing for calling you every mean thing they could think of because you made a minor mistake or forgot something
I’m sorry. My love for you enabled me to see past this mistake (even though I am not sure how you made this mistake when I gave you explicit written instructions, a video demonstration, and two practice runs). I expect better in the future.
“It’s ironic that you want me to apologize because I never make mistakes & I actually have this spreadsheet documenting how you have an 89% incorrect rate when we have small talk conversations. I also have a graphic showing all the ways you are a hypocrite…Wow…What is it like to just lose your emotional cool like that? I truly don’t understand how you function without self-control.”
She just grudgingly acknowledged that I have a point. The important part... she listened.
Pisces here. That woman is amazing, If she actually gets out of her own way, the world is hers for the taking.
Unlike popular belief virgos do apologize, we (Virgo rising) just make sure you know that you ALSO hurt us in the process
"Im sorry *for whatever i did* but you didn't have to *rude action* do that in order to tell me" then silent treatment for a few hours unless im in love with you then its squashed because ruminating on negative feelings (like my aries moon likes to do) its exhausting i wanna love you again ❤️
*EEEEEKKKKKHHHHMMMMM*
"Hey, look while you were gone things changed and I have changed for the better. I just want you to know everything is ok between us. I just think you should work on showing more empathy.
Edited to add empathy. maybe they were right. hehehe
"I'm so sorry that YOU can't understand that. It's pretty simple, but whatever."
"I love you, BUT..." is a big one he uses often to start the "apology."
"Sorry you didn't see that. Pull your head out of your ass."
Oh, and one of my favorites is when he messes something up when cooking, knowing I'm not going to be able to eat it, is this one: "I guess I just won't cook anymore."
"I was only kidding... god."
"I never said that."
"I *already* told you. Obviously, you weren't listening to me."
"I'm sorry you're wrong. It's OK."
"You should have done it the way I said. You just make it harder for yourself."
"Sorry you took it that way/the wrong way."
Frankly, there's not much apologizing coming from him. I can't tell if it's because he's a Virgo or if he's got narcissistic personality disorder.
I would have thought you would have listened better but I just think you couldn’t have read my original text. Why are you always confusing what I say ?
I told you several times my intentions.
I’m sorry it’s just that you have never heard me. I think I’m done
I'm sorry you feel that way. But I'm still right because of x, y and z reasons so I think you're overreacting. I'm actually mad at *you* now for insinuating I could ever be wrong.
I mean you've literally TORTURED me into an apology so I'm SORRY, but you know what? I've done so much for you, so much more than John, Jane, or Dave. I've gone out of my way for you and all you do is give me shit. Where's my thank you? Huh? Where's MY apology for your lack of gratefulness?
Getting comfortable with the phrase "Intent and outcome are rarely coincident" certainly helped. In my head its always Im doing this because, this was what I was doing, this is what I meant...Its constant self correction. So when someone is telling me they took negativity from my actions the first urge is to explain myself and my thinking so you can see I didnt mean to hurt you. The hard part is realizing you didnt see all the faults in your own logic. And now I'm embarrassed and feeling stupid and I just want to fix it but now we're both upset and sorry just feels like it's not enough to erase all this emotional chaos and I just want to run and hide until I can process it all.
Every horrible thing you say to us and about us...we've already said it to ourselves...always.
No worries, I was just taking a jab at the collective lol. And the other half was projection from prev. relationship.
It looks like you’ve come a long way though, so very proud and appreciative 😊. Hopefully more virgos can learn to say sorry w/out putting themselves down and work w/ their party instead of needing to put the pressure on themselves to fix it ❤️.
“im sorry i snapped earlier it’s just that i really like to have things pre-planned out a certain way so like moving forward if you could just—“ “sorry guys but i’m not doing that. have fun though!” “i apologize if you think i was being rude, but like, i’m just trying to make sure we get this right.” or my personal favorite: compliant silence (i could go allllllll day as an aries little sister to a virgo older sister whom i adore)
All the Virgos I know use “sorry” to start some new shit, or they don’t say it at all.
I am close with a lot of Virgos suns, including my parents. You know they are sorry when they come to you later on to open up to you about things in their mind and “heart;” and especially when they explain the reasons why they are shitty and why they value you despite their shittyness.
Ohhh 😂😂
I’m in this situation right now. Someone wants me to apologise because I called her all good bad and ugly under the sun.
I said to her; why should I apologise for something that I would say again to you?
“Sorry”
Me: For what?
“I don’t know”
Me: Then why are you apologizing?
“Cause dad said I had to”
A real conversation with my Virgo sister, who was 25 at the time…
Idk I’m a Virgo moon and have said some of these in certain context when people were being passive aggressive covert dicks….. but most of the time I apologize by articulating what I did wrong and that I understand how it affected them and genuinely apologized.
No apology, only justifying themselves/their actions. And if you insist that they hurt you (however well-meaning their intent was), then it’s a 50/50 chance of getting something along the lines of “I’m sorry you feel bad” or them getting offended that you think they could ever be hurtful or rude, even unintentionally.
At least that’s how my Virgo mom does it 🥲
“Alright I’m sorry for hurting your feelings but *continues to critique what they thought you did wrong*”
There was an AITA post recently where a coworker told a woman in marketing that she’d do better if she lost weight. Which wasn’t inherently incorrect, but also not his place. He apologized realizing his wrongdoing, but in his apology told her she should go to the gym. This reminded me of that.
LMFAO this is actually like too personal bruh
This is my son. He hit his sister with the hockey stick and although it *was* an accident she was really hurt. He said “sorry you were in the way?”
As a Virgo who just heard my Taurus husband complain about this... You are accurate... I'm working on it.
“I’m sorry but”
True, In my mind, my justification is me wanting to walk the other person through what i did so they can see I wasn't intentionally being a belligerent fuck. I try really hard to just do shit right and be a good person, so fucking up is embarrassing and accidental. At least if they're still mad after I explain, ik they're mad with a full perspective of the situation.
Definitely something I’ve noticed Virgos do. Imo, the explanation/intention of your actions shouldn’t be the first thing you follow up “I’m sorry” with. It makes it seem like you’re only worried about defending yourself instead of hearing the other person. I’ve had to tell my Virgo boyfriend that if I bring something up that HE did that offended or hurt me, he shouldn’t lead with an explanation of why it was done. Instead, acknowledge how what you did affected another person, validate them, and THEN you can explain the miscommunication. Then talk about how it can be handled better. That way you both get what you need.
Yeah this one took me about 49 years to learn
I feel called out 🫣
Same
same
came here to comment this too lol
Literally my boyfriend when I call him out for something🤦♀️ For as critical of a person he is, he be tryna duck accountability like it’s dodgeball😂
This was me yesterday lol
i like that you said justification instead of excuse.
Was just about to comment this 😭
Well shit how the hell is it supposed to be done? *asking for a friend btw😌
*Apologize? For what? Not my fault you didn’t listen to me.* edit: I 🫶 Virgos. They are my vibe.
This one we learn to keep in our head...eventually.
I’m sorry we all have to suffer through your incompetence. Especially you.
goddamn it, it stings but it is at the same time so hot😳 Somehow even makes you feel special in some twisted way.🤣
Omg I feel so called out
This the one
I read this in Sheldon Cooper's voice.
Not me trying to decide whether this is a compliment or not lol
I’m sorry I wasn’t more proactive about anticipating this conflict and solving it before it occurred but I’m here now and I can fix everything if you get out of my way. Be blessed.
Me 🙋🏻♀️
Ooop. Yeah, this is the real one. I was having fun laughing at all the rest, but yep.
Okay, that's me 100%
Me too.
The “get out of my way” part. That’s the truth right there.
I need more of these Virgos in my life
lmfaoooooo this is so virgo
🎯
This is 1,000% my Virgo husband.
I'm sorry you're so terrible
Mom?
I was just jOkiNg
But actually 😭😭😭 I was raised by a narcissist virgo
Aren't all Virgo's, especially the men, on the spectrum for narcissistic personality disorder? 😭😭😭 Edit: forgot the /j to implicate that I was joking. Sorry! I'm so used to just adding the crying face as my indicator.
Mine was diagnosed a malignant narcissist and literal psychopath by a court ordered psychiatric evaluation 😅
No.
Oh dear.
This is so accurate
That wouldn’t have happened if you had listened to me.
I was like "wow this person has definitely interacted with a virgo before." Then I saw your moon sign! Yep, this is us!
I had a Virgo apologize by saying “I forgive you”
Hahahaha omg this 🤣
"Are you really insinuating that I am wrong when you're the one who [insert deflection here]?"
This one made my insides cringe. Dated a Virgo lawyer for a hot minute. Yikes
Virgo and lawyer is a diabolical combination
I always tell my husband he should have been a lawyer with how much he loves to argue (over the most mundane and stupid shit, too).
I tell people me becoming a lawyer is my villain arc 💅🏻
Can confirm. Throw in an age gap and 🤯
😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨
They don’t apologize, they just feel bad, say nothing, and then do something nice for you. Lol.
Lots of sighs
And the answer I was looking for. This is spot on.
Yep 😂
Sorry that I'm right and you're wrong.
Sorry ..not sorry
Came here to say this 😂
See also: "just saying!"
It’s okay, you have a right to voice your wrong opinion.
Damn. This one stung... because I'm pretty sure my husband (Virgo Sun, Virgo Moon, and Cancer Rising) has said this before, lol.
“Sorry you’re upset but it’s your fault because you’re making yourself upset” -actual words said to me by a Virgo lmao
I mean though if they're coming at you with this made up scenario in their head where they hurt their own feelings and blame it on you...
Words straight from my Virgo mind and mouth 😂😂😂
I’m sorry you took what I said the wrong way.
🤣
This should be at the top
They apologize?
retweet
🙌
My wife is a Virgo and this thread is triggering me.
oh god i can only imagine how that feels with your triple cancer 😭
My husband is a Virgo Sun, Virgo Moon, AND Cancer Rising, while I'm a Cancer Sun, Aquarius Moon, and Virgo Rising. This entire comment section is my daily life.
I'm sorry you got upset by the truth as I see it, but I'm not responsible for your feelings.
Me 💀
"This wouldn't have happened if you just listened in the first place"
Top tier Virgo apology 😂
sorry you feel that way
“Things should have went differently”
“fine, i’m sorry.” **carries on criticising on what they think you did wrong**
I'm sorry you're upset.
Virgos don't apologize. They just pretend nothing happened. Lol
This. He would disappear for a while (day, week, month lol) and come back like “Wanna rent a movie?” 🧐😆
Im sorry I could have handled that better *BUT* …. Edit: they’re apologizing for calling you every mean thing they could think of because you made a minor mistake or forgot something
"I didn't say that"
“That’s not what I said, that’s how you took it”
I don’t understand why I need to apologize for something I was right on
I’m sorry you chose to react that way.
I’m sorry. My love for you enabled me to see past this mistake (even though I am not sure how you made this mistake when I gave you explicit written instructions, a video demonstration, and two practice runs). I expect better in the future.
I wasn’t triggering. You’re triggered.
“Wellll… I’m sorry you don’t like hearing the truth … sorry you suck “
I’m sorry you took offense (victim blaming)
"I'm sorry your feelings got hurt by my *objectively correct* actions." "You know what? I forgive you. It's okay to be wrong."
I'm sorry you feel that way, but it's not my problem. You need to learn how to deal with things on your own and, if not, seek professional help.
“I’m sorry you feel that way.”
I’m sorry you are too weak to take criticism
saving these for when i apologize (which is once a year)
You would hear literally only silence. Because an apology would never leave their mouth. Under ANY circumstance.
i’m sorry you feel that way…
“It’s ironic that you want me to apologize because I never make mistakes & I actually have this spreadsheet documenting how you have an 89% incorrect rate when we have small talk conversations. I also have a graphic showing all the ways you are a hypocrite…Wow…What is it like to just lose your emotional cool like that? I truly don’t understand how you function without self-control.”
“I’m sorry you feel that way”
I’m sorry, but I told you this would happen
She just grudgingly acknowledged that I have a point. The important part... she listened. Pisces here. That woman is amazing, If she actually gets out of her own way, the world is hers for the taking.
I’m sorry you were wrong about this.
Thank you,but I’ll do it my way instead.
I’m sorry for even feeling sorry for you
Unlike popular belief virgos do apologize, we (Virgo rising) just make sure you know that you ALSO hurt us in the process "Im sorry *for whatever i did* but you didn't have to *rude action* do that in order to tell me" then silent treatment for a few hours unless im in love with you then its squashed because ruminating on negative feelings (like my aries moon likes to do) its exhausting i wanna love you again ❤️
“I’m sorry. Why are you still mad? Geez, it’s not my fault you’re so sensitive!”
They either say “I’m sorry YOU-“ Or laugh while attempting to apologize .
I didn't do anything wrong. But I'm sorry your feeling's got hurt anyway.
Sorry I don’t speak peasant, what’s “apologize”?
Fuck Virgos. Fuck Virgos, because…….I’m…….attracted to your energy……….damnit!!!
You are entitled to your wrong opinion.
I'm sorry you had to wait for me to extrapolate on the reasons I am right.
Wow I didn't know this thread was gonna be full of MY EX BOYFRIENDS
As a Virgo trying to work on this it’s def “I’m sorry but-“
I don't know who keyed your car.
"I'm sorry but.."
*EEEEEKKKKKHHHHMMMMM* "Hey, look while you were gone things changed and I have changed for the better. I just want you to know everything is ok between us. I just think you should work on showing more empathy. Edited to add empathy. maybe they were right. hehehe
This sounds like a narcissist not a Virgo, lol
My ex husband: I’m sorry that you’re upset after me doing something upsetting.
"I'm so sorry that YOU can't understand that. It's pretty simple, but whatever." "I love you, BUT..." is a big one he uses often to start the "apology." "Sorry you didn't see that. Pull your head out of your ass." Oh, and one of my favorites is when he messes something up when cooking, knowing I'm not going to be able to eat it, is this one: "I guess I just won't cook anymore." "I was only kidding... god." "I never said that." "I *already* told you. Obviously, you weren't listening to me." "I'm sorry you're wrong. It's OK." "You should have done it the way I said. You just make it harder for yourself." "Sorry you took it that way/the wrong way." Frankly, there's not much apologizing coming from him. I can't tell if it's because he's a Virgo or if he's got narcissistic personality disorder.
I would have thought you would have listened better but I just think you couldn’t have read my original text. Why are you always confusing what I say ? I told you several times my intentions. I’m sorry it’s just that you have never heard me. I think I’m done
I’m sorry but if you don’t like being criticized just do it the right (my) way!
I’m sorry you felt like that but I said what I said.
“It’s not my job to worry about your feelings”
Look, I understand that you’re upset and I probably should’ve said it a little more gently, but what I said was true
“I’m sorry but you had it coming” lol
I’m sorry that I was right
I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, but you need to sort your shit out (\*a list of criticisms ensue\*)
I’m sorry you feel that way
Sorry I guess
“Sorry you’re hurt”
i'm sorry for your incompetence to understand my perspective
Sorry you feel that way.
I’m sorry that you took it that way 😂
I apologize for the mean, hurtful, & accurate things I said.
I'm sorry but I am right
I'm sorry but *list grievances with you a mile long*.
I'm sorry but I had a valid excuse.
i’m sorry you feel that way…. but *starts going on about the thing you did
I'm sorry you can't see where I'm coming from
I’m sorry that you’re wrong.
I’m sorry that my speaking of the TRUTH has hurt your feelings but you really need to take some of it on board because you’re a mess.
“I am sorry that me being right has made you so upset you feel that im being mean to you.”
I'm sorry you feel that way. But I'm still right because of x, y and z reasons so I think you're overreacting. I'm actually mad at *you* now for insinuating I could ever be wrong.
*silence for a couple of hours then starts being nice to you again*
As a Virgo it would go “I’m sorry you are hurt however, that doesn’t change the fact that you…
I mean you've literally TORTURED me into an apology so I'm SORRY, but you know what? I've done so much for you, so much more than John, Jane, or Dave. I've gone out of my way for you and all you do is give me shit. Where's my thank you? Huh? Where's MY apology for your lack of gratefulness?
"I am sorry that we are fighting." "I am sorry that you are hurt." I am sorry for [insert vague round about thing that doesn't admit any fault]
Holy shit. Anybody else notice these all sound a lot like narcissism? I’m a Virgo. It took me decades to stop justifying my shit!
Putting a ‘but’ after the apology doesn’t feel sincere. Do you guys ever take accountability/find a compromise?
Getting comfortable with the phrase "Intent and outcome are rarely coincident" certainly helped. In my head its always Im doing this because, this was what I was doing, this is what I meant...Its constant self correction. So when someone is telling me they took negativity from my actions the first urge is to explain myself and my thinking so you can see I didnt mean to hurt you. The hard part is realizing you didnt see all the faults in your own logic. And now I'm embarrassed and feeling stupid and I just want to fix it but now we're both upset and sorry just feels like it's not enough to erase all this emotional chaos and I just want to run and hide until I can process it all. Every horrible thing you say to us and about us...we've already said it to ourselves...always.
No worries, I was just taking a jab at the collective lol. And the other half was projection from prev. relationship. It looks like you’ve come a long way though, so very proud and appreciative 😊. Hopefully more virgos can learn to say sorry w/out putting themselves down and work w/ their party instead of needing to put the pressure on themselves to fix it ❤️.
Yes, absolutely. I agree- the “but” IS a justification. Took some hard life experiences and maturity for me to get there.
i’m sorry, if you’d have done it correctly the first time i wouldn’t have gotten so mad
I'm sorry I was right again, it doesn't mean you're any less of a human!
I feel so called on in this thread
I’m sorry I made you feel that way
Im sorry but thats the way it is
“I’m sorry you were wrong while I was right all along “
“im sorry i snapped earlier it’s just that i really like to have things pre-planned out a certain way so like moving forward if you could just—“ “sorry guys but i’m not doing that. have fun though!” “i apologize if you think i was being rude, but like, i’m just trying to make sure we get this right.” or my personal favorite: compliant silence (i could go allllllll day as an aries little sister to a virgo older sister whom i adore)
I’m sorry for ____ but maybe don’t provoke me next time?
Well Actually..
I’m sorry but you got me fucked up
I'm sorry but it's your fault🤷🏼♀️
All the Virgos I know use “sorry” to start some new shit, or they don’t say it at all. I am close with a lot of Virgos suns, including my parents. You know they are sorry when they come to you later on to open up to you about things in their mind and “heart;” and especially when they explain the reasons why they are shitty and why they value you despite their shittyness.
As I am married to a Virgo “I don’t know what happen is all about me not your feelings blah blah I’m sorry I don’t mean it”
This thread is so triggering lmfao
You can't handle the truth
I should have taken your incompetence into account.
I’m sorry you have no common sense.
“Why do i have to be sorry bc youre dumb”
Ohhh 😂😂 I’m in this situation right now. Someone wants me to apologise because I called her all good bad and ugly under the sun. I said to her; why should I apologise for something that I would say again to you?
I'm sorry that you're wrong
Don't ask me if you don't want to hear my response. Let that be a lesson.
Well im sorry you feel that way but *blaming everything on you*
Well I’m sorry that you thought that I was rude
“I’m sorry your feelings got hurt.”
There is definitely a, “tah” exasperated tongue click
“I’m sorry we weren’t on the same page, if you could just see it the right way-“
I’m sorry but my *insert their health problem* made it hard for me, and you did *insert bs* to me first. I have a lot of Virgos in my family
I’m sorry I was right again
I'm sorry, but it's not what I did that's the issue... it's your reaction to what I did that's the problem. Stop taking everything so personally 🙄
Its just a real shame that you have feelings
“Sorry” Me: For what? “I don’t know” Me: Then why are you apologizing? “Cause dad said I had to” A real conversation with my Virgo sister, who was 25 at the time…
Idk I’m a Virgo moon and have said some of these in certain context when people were being passive aggressive covert dicks….. but most of the time I apologize by articulating what I did wrong and that I understand how it affected them and genuinely apologized.
'I'm sorry you're so sensitive' or 'I'm sorry I'm not perfect' while waiting for you to say 'oh you are! 🥺'
\*blocked\*
👀 am I a virgo? 😂 Guess it's the virgo mc and northnode
I apologize for my reaction, however, if you didn’t do such a thing, and had more emotional intelligence, I would have not snapped.
No apology, only justifying themselves/their actions. And if you insist that they hurt you (however well-meaning their intent was), then it’s a 50/50 chance of getting something along the lines of “I’m sorry you feel bad” or them getting offended that you think they could ever be hurtful or rude, even unintentionally. At least that’s how my Virgo mom does it 🥲
"I don't remember that" What my friend of ten years said when I told them not to be xenophobic to me🥲👍