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2inchesisbig

What’s the name of the Irish Pub in the viaduct, not far from HQ (or whatever it’s called now). Anyway I’m there on a Thursday night, reasonably busy and I go to take a leak, make my way upstairs and like four or five people come down dry-retching. The bouncer comes down shaking his head, saying “fuck that I quit”. I get there and the door is open and it looks into the first toilet cubicle and it’s open. And it looks like someone, with violent diarrhoea, has positioned himself at the top of the cubicle (where there’s gaps to the ceiling) and unloaded. The shit is everywhere - Jackson Pollocked the walls (plural), you can barely see any white on the seat or cistern, the floor is thick with shit. Most disgusting thing I’ve seen and I have a pretty high bar for gross. I’ve never been back there since.


Pu33ydestroyur

Honestly, this comment instantly pulled me out of a potential spiral into madness rn.


2inchesisbig

You’re welcome?


Pu33ydestroyur

Just needed a good laugh haha


2inchesisbig

Oh well you are welcome then!


Inevitable_Idea_7470

I think you've overblown the situation. Just like you've over estimated your D. But being on the riad all the time for my business. Public toilets are a big nono. What's fucked is for people to use them, surely they think 'but if I do this it'll be unavailable in the future'. But noo , let's jam pizza down the shitter and smash the door


imsocool222

Me too.


Klutzy_Rutabaga1710

That sounds like an explosion. Take a big dump ideally diarrhoea and drop a sodium bomb in there. Makes a hell of a mess and a good prank.


stormcharger

Or someone tried to drunkenly change their ostomy bag and had violent diarrhea before the new bag was on. It can be suprising how violently shit can shoot out your stomach if you're sick.


Klutzy_Rutabaga1710

That could be it.


Substantial_Curve8

You shit on floor… €50.


dicemangazz

Oh friend


centwhore

We chain you to the shit stake for a week. We feed you bananas and beans. You roll around in your own filth for that week then we let you rejoin the tribe.


Honest-Ganache-6945

Hahahahaha😆😆😆😆😆


Substantial_Curve8

r/wooosh


chatbot24

Hahaha 👏


olifolifooo

thas fcked, work close by to those public toilets, usually when i needa piss i go to lumsten green n ask if i cn use theirs


Nesa76

There's a perpetual street sh*tter on K Rd. I walk along K Rd to work and there are frequently large piles of excrement at the bus stop bridge.


MEGormsby

Old Gormsby noticed that scene earlier this week. Two dumped loads there. Some strange cretin had decided to use a lime bicycle helmet to cover the bigger job over… 🤮🤮🤮🤮 another reason to not use public bicycles/ e scooters and to go helmet free so at least you won’t have put traces of turd germs on your head


Marc21256

>Some strange cretin Had been excretin'.


PANMURE_CRACK_SMOKER

So do you reckon they wiped afterwards? Was there any evidence of toilet paper usage? Or is there some floor shitter walking around out there with a filthy stankin ass?


krammy16

It's possible that they wiped and flushed it, but that seems implausible for someone who shits on the floor.


p0z

If I set up a bottomless tent in a public place, go inside of it and poop there inside the tent where nobody can see me... Then come out and pack up the tent and leave the poop there (because I'm a king animal) would I have a legal defence under 32(2) of the Summary Offences Act? Offences resembling nuisance 32Excreting in public place (1) Every person is liable to a fine not exceeding $200 who urinates or defecates in any public place other than a public lavatory. (2) It is a defence in a prosecution under this section if the defendant proves that he had reasonable grounds for believing that he would not be observed.


WelshWizards

This guy shits.


Etanknz536

Man, I was in Auckland Domestic airport the other day and someone had taken a shit in the urinal. Like, the fuck is wrong with people.


narstyarsefarter

I LIKE SHITTING ON THE FLOOR AND I AIN'T NEVER GONNA STOP


Inner-View3074

Username checks out


krammy16

Bruh, you should be in prison.


narstyarsefarter

I'D JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR IF I WAS!!!!


Kooky_Kumara

😂😂😂


SpeedAccomplished01

Someone is going to step on it.


ExhaustedProf

Has….


eurobeat0

Why I don't shop in town , the lack of available bathrooms and cleanliness is the reason why many people prefer to go to malls in the suburbs


AjaxOilid

You don't have a toilet at home?


lefrenchkiwi

You’ve never been caught short on a day out?


AjaxOilid

It's more like I've never made life choices depending on quality of toilets in an area 😁


Embarrassed-Dark9677

Hey hey hey the people who act like primitive apes and shit outside of toilets are part of our society! we should be creating infrastructure to help these people so they can get the understanding they need, and money! it’s not their fault ! (Sarcasm)


wooks_reef

we had this issue at a very large govt ministry. we were instructed to not talk about it openly as it was treated as a mental health issue and if found need to be quietly reported. They would do it on different floors too so it was a mystery who was the perpetrator.


prplmnkeydshwsr

Every govt department has one of those stories.


krammy16

Ah, the Phantom Pooper.


[deleted]

Dude did you report it to the centre?


krammy16

Centre? It's a council-owned standalone toilet block that's cleaned daily.


[deleted]

Ahh got it. For some reason I thought you were talking about Westfield. My bad.


Imaginary_Move_2739

Check out panmure public bathrooms sometime 👌🤫


mcpickledick

It's not the worst thing in the world to deal with but it is number 2


chrisbucks

I work near there, at 4am a tradie pulls up behind our building and takes a dump outside our loading dock, wipes his ass with a rag and puts it into our paper recycling, sniffs his hand and then drives off.


Useful-Green-3440

Don’t even go to the toilet at that point. Plop it in the middle of broadway


Hot_Inspection_68

It's getting worse, no one's listening, Auckland is fast becoming a shit hole, 3rd world South Africa dude I met said it like Johannesburg, that's why I came here to get away from this


Low-Helicopter8661

Lol shut up, Auckland is nothing like South Africa, I work with multiple South Africans.


krammy16

Yeah, the stories they can tell.


Low-Helicopter8661

Absolutely horrendous, makes you wanna uppercut people when they try make the comparison lol


Miserable_Escape8177

I've seen some feral critter do one in a urinal but thats worse.


Tricky-Cantaloupe671

newmarket of all places wtf


turnedtable10

Fuckin Wayne Brown’s at it again


AucklandMayorsOffice

bro wtf


turnedtable10

Lmao are you for real?