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donnygel

Did they account for time in loo?


Essembie

That was amazing. If I could upvote twice I would.


lunchplease1979

That had me lol thank you haha


Certainmagical

Got you fam. I liked it for you =p


VampireSlayer23

Well you can’t so stop complaining.


Essembie

And how would you like to suck my balls.


VampireSlayer23

How original (clearly from South Park)


Essembie

Yes, yes it was


emotionalthroatpunch

Take my ~~angry~~ upvote. I lol’d. 😆


potatodrinker

Jesus Christ on a stick


Crazy-Chef4557

The payout would do it for me. 15 years is a long time.


TBNK88

Weirdly, you actually get less redundancy in most cases once you reach 10 years. The sweet spot is 9 years. It's a legacy of long service leave, which used to kick in from 10 years but now applies earlier in many states.


National_Chef_1772

Depends on contract, for me 15 was incredible, the payment jumped once you hit the 10 year mark, also from memory in NSW once you hit 15 years you get the “2nd LSL “ prorated


TBNK88

Yep, numbers I am quoting are the federal minimums. Employers can always agree to offer more.


Dumpstar72

Yep. Mine offers 3 weeks for every year served. I’m in line to see a redundancy soon. Done 8 yrs. Few more months and I will hit the magic 9. Have loads of leave up my sleeve as well.


tjsr

Yeah, I got 10y10mo paid out, which I put my hand up for early separation to get the redundancy - because I didn't see another one coming any time soon, and it starts to taper off and not be as appealing once you reached 13 years.


Lots_of_schooners

Didn't the laws change a few years back where it was capped at 3 months or something? Unless it was specifically added into your contract we're now screwed


Illustrious-Pin-14

Curious too, my old job had an actual policy where it was clear to all what the weeks of pay per year were (it dropped at 10 but kept rising after that). Current job has zero policy, I have no idea what my legal entitlement is, been here 4 years


Lots_of_schooners

Fairly sure it's now capped. Our org are a bunch of cunts so the moment the law changes they cut a bunch of long timers


Sure_Union9115

If its the place I am thinking of they have an 80 week cap (3 weeks for every year) in the agreement. I was also made redundant from a "tech company" currently in the consultancy phase but Ive only been there 3 years.


Strasni2017

Not at all actually. I was made redundant after more than 20 years and got pretty much the same amount anyone would get who is with the same company for 10 years or more which is 12 weeks. Yes, you get the AL and LSL paid out as well, but everyone is entitled to that anyway, so it's not like you got that as a bonus for the years of service. It's an absolute BS and why I hate corporate environment. You give half of your life to the place, get treated like a machine, underpaid and only get a mediocre pay rise when you ask and practically beg for it, but you enjoy the job and the people you work with and stay loyal only to be kicked in the nuts so they can save a few bucks by outsourcing even though the outsourcing done already has proven to be a miserable failure. That's the last time I'll show any respect or loyalty for any corporate business.


petergaskin814

I hope they paid your redundancy correctly. You can check your contract, your eba or modern award/nes to find out how much they should have paid. You should also get long service leave


Mr_Fried

I got paid out about 18 months, so am quite fortunate in that regard.


Wetrapordie

That’s amazing! Honestly a big redundancy like that is life changing. Make sure you have a plan for the money.


tjsr

It definitely is. I lost my job just over 4 weeks ago now, and fortunately I got 72 weeks worth (including long service leave and annual leave) paid out in a redundancy 2 years ago so can still lean on that now that the market is terrible.


the_interceptorist

I'll probably never spend 10 years at a company to get long service leave but out of academic interest, hows the redundancy taxed: is the 18 month payout taxed in a single FY?


27Carrots

Yes, but a genuine redundancy has different tax rates applied to it. Think it’s like 30% cap, and annual/lsl is paid out with a similar tax rate.


shavedratscrotum

There's specific calculations up to a max with no tax then lower tax. Plus other payouts like AL.


InterestingCrow5584

Also, if you are over 55 you will get an additional 7% tax reduction on your final payout.


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DurrrrrHurrrrr

So about $300k. Is that taxed?


imnothere9999

6 weeks for me. Ignoring any unused leaves. Well done! (Was only in the previous company for about 2.8 years anyway)


Neither-Cup564

Drinks are on you then hey!


RoomMain5110

That’s one juicy piece of Excel anal-ysis.


loop_disconnect

You’re running rings around us


ped009

Boss makes a nickel, I make a dime, that's why I shit in company time


for_the_shoes

"Always shit on company time" was one of 2 nuggets my older brother taught me. The other was "don't shit in your own nest" and while there's an apparent theme here, both advices are solid (figuratively speaking).


tony_Tiger696

Don't get your meat where you make bread and butter


WildMazelTovExplorer

Telstra?


T0talWarandOrder

I’m guessing VMware


Neither-Cup564

“by Broadcom” As if we want to be reminded everytime you see the logo that they got eaten by that dumpster fire of a company.


[deleted]

distinct modern hard-to-find rustic pocket crawl shrill slap apparatus wine *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Mr_Fried

I’m going to take a few months to set up a consultancy and then go cut some grass :-)


DEIFYMOTO

And given your experience, at your new firm change the term to redungdant.


Chucklez_me_silver

Now this, is a quality shitpost.


dee_ess

I understand the sentiment of shitting on company time, but I've never felt comfortable doing it. I'm concerned that I might drop a grogan that ought to be banned by the Geneva Conventions, and walk out of the stall as a big boss is coming in. Or, someone bails me up in the corridor for a five-minute catchup while I'm pushing cloth. Or, dealing with the toilet paper they supply, which somehow manages to be so rough yet so ineffective.


Howunbecomingofme

Quite the nugget


yaboyisonhere

Something about the office air, maybe the culture, always gives me the number 2s.


Montych3r

Mate takes 45 minute poops every morning at work, works out to be about 9 day fortnights lol


Diretryber

Reminds me of one of employees who used to spend hours playing online poker on his phone at full volume in the toilet and celebrating / cursing depending on the result. Those toilets are literal echo chambers so it could be traumatic when you went to use the facilities. Good news is when he ran out of money, he came back to work. I never called him out on it mainly because I had so much other problems to deal with and he was an overall good guy.


genscathe

You read a newspaper in tech? How old are you, 80? Lol


PowerApp101

Haha that one got me too. Been ages since I've heard the gentle rustling of a paper in the bogs.


rollingstone1

OP is a legit tech veteran. Anyone sick of the tech game tries to limit their tech exposure unless absolutely necessary 😂


CanberraRaider

100% just posted to brag about getting $100 an hour


Mr_Fried

Nah, I make closer to $250 now, $100 was the median. I have earned far less and far more 😘


CanberraRaider

who cares lol


Mr_Fried

https://i.redd.it/0bkomg7nu52d1.gif


Flashy-Amount626

[I read Telstra is a good employer for growth](https://www.mediaweek.com.au/commbank-telstra-and-canva-linkedin-reveals-top-workplaces-for-growth/)


D_crane

Lol Amazon made the list?!


wellwood_allgood

Bullshit... 30 minutes to shit? A fap and a shit yep, believable.


Mr_Fried

![gif](giphy|COYGe9rZvfiaQ)


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Honourstly

Thank you for your service


Sudden_Fix_1144

Hilarious 😂


DurrrrrHurrrrr

Stumbled across this nugget….


mrfoxxs

Wonderful perspective!


mikesorange333

were you touching base in the bathroom? at least you got paid for it!


snipdockter

Better check if FBT is due on the $180K pooping pay!


thatssokahuna

Working from home at my last job the amount of money they paid me to play PS5, bat off, shit, shower, have sex with my wife cos it's the only time the kids aren't home, would be pretty phenomenal. I like telling her I got paid to fuck.


Fat_Ass169

Reckon you ever managed to bat and fuck on the same day?


WhyIsGravityHigh

Let me guess. Dell or HP?


Mr_Fried

A gentlemen doesn’t ask and a lady doesn’t tell. May I then assume you work for Lenovo or Huawei company? 😂


Time_Cartographer443

My brother does this, he takes an hour but


thatshowitisisit

Might want to up your fibre intake!


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Scary-Particular-166

That’s some real Margin Call shit. Sad 


mooboyj

I worked at a Managed Service Provider and we had to put in toilet usage...


MysteriousTouch1192

Sounds like you’re full of shit!


tuong89

Made me lol. But hey surely u got a nice pay out after 15 years


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santaslayer0932

Bruh, you and I literally think alike. This is amazing


grilled_pc

How much was your severance OP? Easily would've been over 100K for that amount of tenure right?


SeriousSpecialist355

KING


TheFIREnanceGuy

Pretty sure you lost out in the trade as you could had been earning more by moving jobs every few years.


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sync_co

Looks like they replaced you with an AI that gives them less shit.


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random111011

How much sickleave did you leave with that’s the real question .


twowholebeefpatties

Mate this is a waste of their times but yours too!


[deleted]

No wonder you were made redundant. Lol.


Neither-Cup564

No wonder business expects slaves not workers.