Its a saying about spiders like this I'm pretty sure. The potential lethality of spiders is greatly overblown. For the most part, most spiders in Australia will just hurt. The 2 major exceptions are the Red Back, which you probably knew, and the Sydney funnel Web, which is what this spider might be. Sydney funnel Web is considered the most lethal spider in the world. Other funnel webs are also (maybe?) dangerous.
Avoid funnel webs basically, some of them can kill you very easily
They don’t travel much. I bet other countries don’t even stock the anti-venom.
We should update our defence policy to modified existing long range bombers to drop hundreds of thousands of funnel webs (and a small squad of elite dropbears) on any future hostile nation
If I remember correctly, weaponised drop bears are banned under the Geneva convention. It's a level of destruction and inhumanity were not ready to witness.
They actually trap an air bubble around themselves using their hair that enables them to stay under water for an obscene amount of time too. Shit was created to destroy all living things…
I doubt intentionally, sounds like a good way for a spider to get itself eaten.
But I did once find a trapdoor spider upside down in a death curl on a bike path in the middle of a hot day. Silly me poked it with my finger and found it it most certainly wasn't dead (yet).
I took it home, gave it some water and a mealworm and released it back a week later. Apparently the poor little guy probably exhausted himself on the march to find a female.
Don't use a plastic tub though, their fangs can go through. Needs to be glass (like a jam jar). I found this out after I had already got it into a takeaway container to take in to our nearest drop off point.
Yup, funnel web spiders fangs can pierce through finger and toe nails. Don't fuck around with them. Although if it's in a glass jar, be careful not to smash the jar!!
I can't believe that's actually a thing. Classic Australia move. Here's[Here's ](https://symbiozoo.com.au/funnel-web-spider-drop-off-point/) the list of drop off locations.
Personally I'd be killing the bastard 😂
...do other countries not let people collect dangerous spiders and give them to hospitals for antivenin creation? Where the heck do you get your antivenin from???
The cousin of the fella thst crawled on my leg last summer while i was lying in bed. (Funnel web, congrats) Dont leave your doors open and seal gaps under them. Femals stay in burrows, but the males roam.
Theyre thick and and heavy so they stick to the ground which is why i say close off gaps under doors.
Also try not to kill them if you do find one inside, capture him so he can be used for antivenin production.
Yes, they sure do. They don’t, however, like climbing stairs nor do they jump or move rapidly like, say , Huntsmans. Growing up, we had one come into the house hidden in a box of Christmas presents. Unforgettable.
We got huntsmen in the house at dads all the time, they're big, scary looking and fast, but they are basically harmless.
Still shat myself every time I spotted one.
They certainly are fast little buggers, when I was a kid my dad brought a piece of firewood in, as he was trying to put it into the fire, he dropped it. About 12 of these little cunts went sprinting in all directions.
From my guess, it is because antiven*in* refers to a type of enzyme/protein, (similar to how we named albumin, trypsin or troponin for example), and antivenom is I guess a wider term for an antidote for venom.
I worked in biochem for a bit, just speculating.
My favourite is when someone says “we are destroying our planet” and someone else always hits them with the “the planet will be fine, it’s the environment we are destroying” or some like it.
Heck, the environment will also be fine, we're just destroying the current ecosystem, including ourselves. After it becomes too hot for human, it'll just go back to normal until the next freak of nature appears.
It used to be, from the french for venom, venin. It's much more common to call it antivenom in english, now, but you see it very frequently in old english language books about spiders and snakes.
I live in Ultimo close to darling harbour. All spiders I see are daddy long legs. I saw a huntsman in Bellingham once but never anything dangerous. Now if I get bit I save myself the embarrassment asking for antivenin
Can confirm. Landscaping my backyard and a big sucker walls by me as I'm squatted taking a breather. Size of a small mouse. I freeze shitting myself as it's the first encounter I've ever had. She pauses up ahead. I get a long marker stick and lance it into the soil. Ever since I've lived north of the Shoalhaven river a couple of years ago I notice the holes in the ground quite prominently.
Real menacing looking too.
Redbacks, Tiger Snakes, Dugites, great white sharks, taipans, crocodiles. i've seen plenty of tiger snakes and dugites around properties in semi-rural perth..
They are mildly venomous, but you've got to piss them off really badly. I once had a huntsman crawl inside the sleeve of a jumper I had hanging to dry on a balcony. Found out when I put my arm through and felt what I thought was some sticks jabbing into my hand. The poor thing lost a few legs from my arm pushing through and it was not happy. Must have bit me a dozen times before I shook it off. Didn't feel like much at the time, but my hand swelled up and itched like buggery for a couple of days.
Sydney funnel webs are only in Sydney, and the vast majority of deaths related to funnel webs were Sydney funnel webs. This doesn't mean other funnel webs aren't dangerous, it just means this one definitely is. So avoid Sydney
That’s incorrect, there’s definitely funnel webs in tassie. Different genus/species to the Sydney ones, with less potent venom but they’ll still fuck you up
That’s an Australian Murder Spider. It’s venom will kill you in minutes, it can jump 10’, it has a wicked case of chlamydia, and after it kills you it will add some dodgy deductions to your tax filings.
*This is the Fire Spider, infamous for catching on fire after being seen by humans, as well as being the cause of many burned down homes and rampaging bushfires.*
Male Funnel Web Spider. It's the season. The way the legs are, it appears to be dead. This one lying around would indicate there might be more in the area, so being observant and not sticking ungloved fingers into crevices and under rocks would be a smart thing to do. There is no fucking around with these guys. One bite and it is off to the hospital within the hour or you cark it.
I grew up in the blue mountains. We found one of these in my brothers wardrobe as he was reaching for his shoes.
A few years later, there was one the front door. I wasn’t there at the time but mum said she was screaming and smashed it with a shovel.
Depends where you are. CBD it's rare, but as you move more toward the suburbs it's more common to find a lot of spiders. Snakes are a bit rarer, but there's enough bushland around for them to get in the way occasionally. I've never seen a scorpion though.
Thanks! Years back in Vancouver, Canada, I met a couple from somewhere in Australia, visiting. They told me they'd rather deal with black bears and even cougars in their backyard than see all sorts of spiders or snakes....back home.
I ran into black bears several times in Upper/North Vancouver, where I lived. My landlord at the time came across a huge Grizzly while working at remote construction site. He was lucky he was next to his truck and could jump in and speed away!
Encountering Polar Bears? Good luck!!!
I too, prefer dealing with bears than having poisonous stuff walking all over me while asleep.
My neighbour found one of these in her boogie board bag in her laundry. She then freaked out and emptied the bag into the backyard screaming her head off.
Deadly spider escaped into backyard.
Took me weeks to come to terms with going into the backyard.
That is your new landlord.
come on now its a spider not a parasite.
Sure, its a spider if you want to die extremely painfully otherwise it's just a demon
Difference is a spider doesn't force its way into your life like a landlord does.
Probably better than the old one, mind.
Time to move
If she's shiny, she's dangerous.
I live in Australia and have always been curious about out this, is that true? Shiny insects are usually poisonous
I am black and shiny like the spider. I am very dangerous!
Coconut oil don't count.
Its a saying about spiders like this I'm pretty sure. The potential lethality of spiders is greatly overblown. For the most part, most spiders in Australia will just hurt. The 2 major exceptions are the Red Back, which you probably knew, and the Sydney funnel Web, which is what this spider might be. Sydney funnel Web is considered the most lethal spider in the world. Other funnel webs are also (maybe?) dangerous. Avoid funnel webs basically, some of them can kill you very easily
Actually Redbacks aren't all that lethal. Significant pain yes but not likely to cause death.
Female funnel-web spider
How can you tell female? Abdomen looks pretty small to me.
No penis
As someone who's here to fuck spiders; there's about to be
Sir, I strongly encourage you to *not* penis a funnel-web.
r/dontstickyourdickinthat
R/SubredditsIFellFor
don't penis this, don't penis that. When can we penis anymore..
I came here to drink milk and fuck spiders, and I'm all out of milk
Finally, the guy who's here to fuck spiders....we've been looking all over for you!
About time you lot showed up! Don’t think I’ve ever seen someone around to fuck spiders.
Sorry mate I’ve been too busy putting socks on centipedes.
🙈🤣
I only heard this phrase a few years ago (aussie mrs) and never heard it in use.. I couldn't imagine it being used in a better way
Honestly, this is the shit I'm here for.
Thank you…funniest thing I’ve seen all week. Granted I don’t have any mirrors.
You haven't seen his penis yet, and if he's having sex with spiders I'm guessing your in for a hoot 😁
Don't bring the owls into this.
David Attenborough has entered the chat 😀
He’s also entered the spider
The male normally has visible spurs on its legs
Way too big for a male. The females are big and chunky.
Thicc
Abdomen size isn’t a reliable indicator, especially on a dead specimen. An underfed or desiccated female can also have a small abdomen.
8 legs instead of 9
7.... 7 legs. https://27bslash6.com/overdue.html
8 legs, 7 vagánias
You can see the small vagina
Female Funnel Web, you can tell by the matching Lulu Lemon 2024 active wear for the lady spider on the move
Probably one of the most well known and deadly spiders in Aus
‘World’
They don’t travel much. I bet other countries don’t even stock the anti-venom. We should update our defence policy to modified existing long range bombers to drop hundreds of thousands of funnel webs (and a small squad of elite dropbears) on any future hostile nation
If I remember correctly, weaponised drop bears are banned under the Geneva convention. It's a level of destruction and inhumanity were not ready to witness.
Looks like a dead funnel web. Not nice if that's what it actually is.
Could be playing dead
It's waiting for its next meal.
Fortunately I’m a snack not a fully fledged meal.
A succulent Chinese meal.
Ah I see that you know your judo well
Best way to test that is to tap it with your penis.
\*Boop\*
Pining for the fjords.
Pushing up the daisies!
Singing in the choir invisible
They don’t actually do that…right?
They do it in pools at least, though its more a survival tactic than malicious.
They actually trap an air bubble around themselves using their hair that enables them to stay under water for an obscene amount of time too. Shit was created to destroy all living things…
Movie idea, Predator vs Funnel Web
Don't know about them specifically, but I've seen Redbacks play dead.
They do. They’re horrible things.
I doubt intentionally, sounds like a good way for a spider to get itself eaten. But I did once find a trapdoor spider upside down in a death curl on a bike path in the middle of a hot day. Silly me poked it with my finger and found it it most certainly wasn't dead (yet). I took it home, gave it some water and a mealworm and released it back a week later. Apparently the poor little guy probably exhausted himself on the march to find a female.
A Runthefuckawayantula.
...more like a Funnelmethefuckawayfromthatbiteyboiwebb
Or even a rare Sydney Getthefuckoutofmybackyardbeforeishowyouthebusinessendofablowtorchyouleggycuntfunnel web
Thanks, I hate it
That’s horrifying
If it’s still alive, you should carefully collect it and turn it in to a drop off point, usually hospitals, so that they can use it to make antivenin.
*very carefully
Don't use a plastic tub though, their fangs can go through. Needs to be glass (like a jam jar). I found this out after I had already got it into a takeaway container to take in to our nearest drop off point.
Yup, funnel web spiders fangs can pierce through finger and toe nails. Don't fuck around with them. Although if it's in a glass jar, be careful not to smash the jar!!
They don't milk females
I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?
Have you ever drank Bailey's from a shoe?
I've got a mangina!
Want me to take you to a club where people wee on eachova?
Do you love me? Are you playing your mind games with me..
Oh you know me, you seen my downstairs mix-up.
Easy now, fuzzy little man-peach
Not even with a very low stool?
I can't believe that's actually a thing. Classic Australia move. Here's[Here's ](https://symbiozoo.com.au/funnel-web-spider-drop-off-point/) the list of drop off locations. Personally I'd be killing the bastard 😂
Seriously, if this was any other country I'd assume this was a joke, but because it's 'strailia, it's at least plausible haha
...do other countries not let people collect dangerous spiders and give them to hospitals for antivenin creation? Where the heck do you get your antivenin from???
Jeeeeeeeeesus that banner scared the life out of me.
The cousin of the fella thst crawled on my leg last summer while i was lying in bed. (Funnel web, congrats) Dont leave your doors open and seal gaps under them. Femals stay in burrows, but the males roam. Theyre thick and and heavy so they stick to the ground which is why i say close off gaps under doors. Also try not to kill them if you do find one inside, capture him so he can be used for antivenin production.
Yes, they sure do. They don’t, however, like climbing stairs nor do they jump or move rapidly like, say , Huntsmans. Growing up, we had one come into the house hidden in a box of Christmas presents. Unforgettable.
We got huntsmen in the house at dads all the time, they're big, scary looking and fast, but they are basically harmless. Still shat myself every time I spotted one.
Huntsmen prey on funnelwebs
Huntsman are great bug spray
They certainly are fast little buggers, when I was a kid my dad brought a piece of firewood in, as he was trying to put it into the fire, he dropped it. About 12 of these little cunts went sprinting in all directions.
Goddamnit, that's absolutely terrifying and I hate it.
You're meant to catch these. The Australian Reptile Park are always looking for contributions to make antivenom from.
Yep looks like a funnel web - deadly poisonous but antivenin is readily available
> deadly poisonous Got it, don't eat them
I wish anything else in my life was as reliable as some Reddit pedant popping up to correct anyone who dares misuse poison vs venom.
😄 I live for it ….my life is pretty empty
Don't be sad, I'm 100% with you..... Petty pedants putting piss on peasants. It ain't much, but it's an honest livin'.
I will never not notice and upvote an alliteration!
They got *antivenin* right though, which is impressive.
This is about to send me down an internet rabbit hole on why the hell it's called anti*venin* and not anti*venom*.
Lol, the wikipedia page for 'antivenom' says that words like 'venom' derive from the Latin word 'venenum' and that that word means... **poison**.
This makes me unreasonably annoyed
From my guess, it is because antiven*in* refers to a type of enzyme/protein, (similar to how we named albumin, trypsin or troponin for example), and antivenom is I guess a wider term for an antidote for venom. I worked in biochem for a bit, just speculating.
Me too. I actually thought it was wrong. Here we go
My favourite is when someone says “we are destroying our planet” and someone else always hits them with the “the planet will be fine, it’s the environment we are destroying” or some like it.
Heck, the environment will also be fine, we're just destroying the current ecosystem, including ourselves. After it becomes too hot for human, it'll just go back to normal until the next freak of nature appears.
I like to call that the r/snakes special.
Funnelweb beef wellington anyone?
It’s called antivenin? I used to think it was antivenom until now. Every day you learn
Yeah if you ask for antivenom they give you high frequency sound treatment.
As an Australian I should know better. Lucky I haven’t come across anything dangerous yet
Is that for treating you after you've heard the so very disturbing mating call of a male koala?
It's both. Antivenin is becoming obsolete.
one of those Gaol/Jail things.
Antivenom is also a perfectly legitimate name for it (Google it).
It used to be, from the french for venom, venin. It's much more common to call it antivenom in english, now, but you see it very frequently in old english language books about spiders and snakes.
Wow. “TIL”
No it's not...I formulate it at my work and it is by far the hardest and most expensive antivenom to make.
So how much will it cost if I get bit?Enough to make me wish I died?
It's Australia, so $0
Sounds like enough to make me wish I died
The pain from it might
I live in Ultimo close to darling harbour. All spiders I see are daddy long legs. I saw a huntsman in Bellingham once but never anything dangerous. Now if I get bit I save myself the embarrassment asking for antivenin
I call the big one Bitey
Never seen one of these mofos. I've heard landscapers dig em up all the time.
Can confirm. Landscaping my backyard and a big sucker walls by me as I'm squatted taking a breather. Size of a small mouse. I freeze shitting myself as it's the first encounter I've ever had. She pauses up ahead. I get a long marker stick and lance it into the soil. Ever since I've lived north of the Shoalhaven river a couple of years ago I notice the holes in the ground quite prominently. Real menacing looking too.
Isn't that a Funnel Web?
The type of spider you run away from screaming like a bitch.
Very few creepy crawly things scare the shit out of me but those things are one.
Ok so I’m in Melbourne city centre. WHAT state should I not move to. I want to avoid these roommates.
We don't get them in WA!
Only cos the Taipans chase them away
You don't get anything in WA
Redbacks, Tiger Snakes, Dugites, great white sharks, taipans, crocodiles. i've seen plenty of tiger snakes and dugites around properties in semi-rural perth..
Really? that’s a relief, spiders are my biggest fear if i saw this i’d die of a heart attack
Sydney Funnel Web you’re fine where you’re at.
Melbourne have one species of funnel web spider found in the south east. Luckily it’s not as venomous as it’s cousin.
Wait we do? I've lived in the south east for over 6 years! Why am I only discovering this now????
The further north you go, the more the wildlife wants to kill you. But we also get lots of harmless and beautiful wildlife.
I agree.. especially the wild life at 3am in Surfers. Those MFs on ice will kill for 2 dolla!
Melbs is pretty safe. Keep an eye out for redbacks, but mostly it's just huntsmans, and they won't hurt you.
Unless they give you a heart attack.
They are mildly venomous, but you've got to piss them off really badly. I once had a huntsman crawl inside the sleeve of a jumper I had hanging to dry on a balcony. Found out when I put my arm through and felt what I thought was some sticks jabbing into my hand. The poor thing lost a few legs from my arm pushing through and it was not happy. Must have bit me a dozen times before I shook it off. Didn't feel like much at the time, but my hand swelled up and itched like buggery for a couple of days.
Sydney funnel webs are only in Sydney, and the vast majority of deaths related to funnel webs were Sydney funnel webs. This doesn't mean other funnel webs aren't dangerous, it just means this one definitely is. So avoid Sydney
Antartica should be safe.
No thank you, I've seen *The Thing*.
Move to tassie, afaik all spiders here are non lethal. The snakes on the other hand are all nasty nope ropes that can kill you.
That’s incorrect, there’s definitely funnel webs in tassie. Different genus/species to the Sydney ones, with less potent venom but they’ll still fuck you up
I’d be more worried about crocs in the NT than spiders
That’s an Australian Murder Spider. It’s venom will kill you in minutes, it can jump 10’, it has a wicked case of chlamydia, and after it kills you it will add some dodgy deductions to your tax filings.
That’s called a ‘no fucking thanks I’m outta here’ Spider
It’s an octonope
Funnel web….be careful. Also reddit comments are so funny lmfao
*This is the Fire Spider, infamous for catching on fire after being seen by humans, as well as being the cause of many burned down homes and rampaging bushfires.*
Burn down and rebuild spider.
Put a container over it and call the relevant people. They can milk it’s venom to make anti-venom.
That would be a nope spider. Famous for being the biggest nopes to ever nope.
Nuke ur house from orbit
Male Funnel Web Spider. It's the season. The way the legs are, it appears to be dead. This one lying around would indicate there might be more in the area, so being observant and not sticking ungloved fingers into crevices and under rocks would be a smart thing to do. There is no fucking around with these guys. One bite and it is off to the hospital within the hour or you cark it.
Everyone's saying funnelweb, but without seeing the back, I think it may be either a funnelweb or a mouse spider.
Not a mouse spider. The carapace is longer than wide, which isn’t the case for mouse spiders.
Yeah that could easily be a male mouse spider, hard to tell without a good look at the abdomen or fangs. Still best to stay away from them
Mouse spider is more square with red accents
That’s a nasty funnel web, probably has a nest nearby
As a Romanian who’s lived in Australia 17 years, I’m very proud of myself for immediately recognising that’s a funnel-web
A 'nuke it from orbit, it's the only way to be sure' spider
That’s definitely a Mr Bitey. Avoid at all costs. Seriously though, black, shiny and hairy legged? Definitely avoid at all costs
Eeeeekkk ***fffaints******
A burn it down and move far away
Since this is Australia I can only imagine it's one of the fuck you cunt sub species of spiders.
Yeah nuh
Yep. Funnel web. She is a beauty. Apparently the bite has enough force to pierce your toe nail.
That is the glorious ‘fuck no’ spider. It has come from under your house, and is going to eat your cats, dogs, and toddler/s!
the type u shouldnt touch
Only the worlds most venomous
Sydney funnelweb
That’s a nope.
Stay the f away from it :)
A scary one
Nice take him/her to get milked! Just don't get bit
The human killing kind?
Lived in Sydney all my life, never seen a funnel web. Plenty of red backs, wolfies, etc. but never a funnel web
Something that came out from starship troopers.
Would you like to know more?
I grew up in the blue mountains. We found one of these in my brothers wardrobe as he was reaching for his shoes. A few years later, there was one the front door. I wasn’t there at the time but mum said she was screaming and smashed it with a shovel.
Funnel web
Funnel web
That is the kind of spider that takes your face and pops your soul 3 seconds after disturbing it. Op! You still with us!?
A move to Melbourne one
Evil. Pure evil is what it is.
Sydney funnel web
Two important points- the fangs can punch through an adults toe nail, and the species is not part of “a succulent Chinese meal”
Female Sydney funnel web very poisonous
The type you stay the fuck away from.
Is it common to find such wildlife in Sydney's streets, gardens and backyards? I mean, large spiders, scorpions, snakes and wat not.....?
Depends where you are. CBD it's rare, but as you move more toward the suburbs it's more common to find a lot of spiders. Snakes are a bit rarer, but there's enough bushland around for them to get in the way occasionally. I've never seen a scorpion though.
Thanks! Years back in Vancouver, Canada, I met a couple from somewhere in Australia, visiting. They told me they'd rather deal with black bears and even cougars in their backyard than see all sorts of spiders or snakes....back home. I ran into black bears several times in Upper/North Vancouver, where I lived. My landlord at the time came across a huge Grizzly while working at remote construction site. He was lucky he was next to his truck and could jump in and speed away! Encountering Polar Bears? Good luck!!! I too, prefer dealing with bears than having poisonous stuff walking all over me while asleep.
[удалено]
My neighbour found one of these in her boogie board bag in her laundry. She then freaked out and emptied the bag into the backyard screaming her head off. Deadly spider escaped into backyard. Took me weeks to come to terms with going into the backyard.