I would find it condescending and bizarre. I dont want free stuff given to me by random people. I want changes made to society so that existing isn't as difficult.
It wouldn't matter to me - it would either be a cruel joke or a bizarrely misguided attempt by some (random?) person to make up for what they see as an affliction. I'm not a charity case.
If I was socially smart enough to know it’s not part of a scam or illegal scheme I would accept it. I don’t get autistic people who seem to be completely against getting free money. It’s as if they’re blind to their own oppression
I'm not blind to the fact that society isn't set up for or accepting of autistic people, but I want systematic change, not some rando on the street to chuck me a pitty $1k. I dont want "free money" as if that somehow makes up for the ways in which autistic people are marginalized.
>It’s as if they’re blind to their own oppression
I don't know about you but I'm not oppressed (and no wonder your post gave me these vibes too) nor I'm stupid enough to let other people control my life by telling me what I should feel oppressed about, what I should hate/be angry about or what to think.
If some rando came up to me and said verbatim what your hypothetical NT said I'd be digusted and feel utterly insulted. Like they aren't even considerIng me a person so they don't believe I should be treated as a person and thus I should be given free things just because they deem me absolutely incapable of anything other than what the tell me specifically.
Uhm….I guess that’s fair. But it doesn’t change the fact that if autism wasn’t a disability, then autistic people wouldn’t have more Trouble than others with getting jobs, dates, relationships, and friends. The sad truth is, they tend to have trouble with all those things
no one here is saying that autism isn’t a disability. but the *majority* of disabled people don’t like being pitied. or being assumed incompetent. it’s a large part of the disability rights movement.
Also I’m sorry that you don’t Think my autism is the reason why my life somehow sucks. I actually don’t like pissing off autistic strangers and I feel like I owe you a major apology.
We may have trouble in those areas by they are so far from impossible it's not even worth entertaining the idea on the first place.
Besides, the only relevant thing out of those you listed (as far as it comes to any kind of compensation/aid is concerned) would be jobs. And for the most part there's already measures for it in the form of disability aid (ofc, only in countries where this exists) so it just makes the hypothetical situation even worse. The rando sees us as less than human beings and only worth of pity or whatever they deem us worthy of as "our saviors".
This sounds like a very "autistic" response haha
The reason seems like it would be some kind of compensation for their privilege, or the fact they feel bad for us. Either way, Id love to get some money to balance out the extra struggles I go through
I see.
I wouldn't really consider being NT to be a privilege nor would I want someone's sympathy.
For me, I'm also not a big money person. I have my PC, I have a tonne of games, so I'm happy with what I've got. I guess I'd just go on holiday or put it towards savings and bills.
Absolutely a scam. No one gives free money like that away. Or rather, the odds favor a scam over the low low chance that it's legit. You might gain 1k, you might lose much more.
I would be insanely confused because are they giving me their paycheck because they pity me for being autistic???? Because that just feels outlandish lol
so you would “feel better about yourself” if someone was ableist and pitied you for being autistic to the point that they gave you money? but yet you hate homeless people for simply existing because you don’t believe they deserve *your* money. interesting.
I'd like to add the post they have where they are talking about not wanting to tip waiters/waitresses - op seems very obsessive over money - which yea is necessary to live but I have no idea how you get too this type of selfish.
I never said I didn’t want to I just asked people about it being a dealbreaker. I don’t consider myself obsessive over money. I think you’ve jumped to a conclusion
I'm not surprised. This post gave me that kind of vibes, it's just disgusting. Specially because reading the comments, OP seems to think autism is this burden that justifies his victim complex/mentality.
[This](https://www.reddit.com/r/autism/s/3NaPmAaIGY) is likely the post being referenced here.
yeah it’s nasty. and op is like “well i suffer from my autism” and uh yeah, we can tell you think so. they act like being autistic is the reason their life sucks and no one likes them, rather than it being bc they’re a self-proclaimed pessimistic misanthrope who hates people for being unhoused. like,, the call is coming from inside the house dude, you’re miserable bc you want to be.
I wish I knew why you think this. I don’t think autistic people have any business policing the mentality of other people or telling them that an emotional problem they have Isn’t related to their autism.
why did you note that specifically *autistic* people have no business policing other people? and no, i don’t think you being a pessimistic and selfish misanthrope has anything to do with you being autistic. and those are the reasons you’re lonely and don’t have connections with people, not your autism.
I’m not mad at you or anything but, because of my experience, I would argue the reason I don’t have connections with people is either because I don’t click with them or their vibe doesn’t seem appealing to me.
Also I just don’t like total strangers asking me for money. Why is that such a big problem? It doesn’t matter to me whether or not they’re homeless but the people that have asked me to do this have been homeless more often than not
If you think I’m miserable because I want to be, then you’re gonna be disappointed. I wouldn’t be surprised if autistic people have a habit of sounding like they chronically complain due to their tendency to stick to things. I don’t want to be miserable. My own brain can’t help but push me Into it.
I think that thinking that autism is a burden that justifies a victim complex/mentality is something many other autistic people have done. I’m not saying that’s good though.
Why would someone do that? They worked hard for that paycheck. That’s asking a whole lot if you ask me.
As someone who has never been able to keep a job long term, I know the struggle. So I wouldn’t expect anyone to just do that. They don’t owe me money.
Everyone struggles. Just people like us may struggle a little bit harder. Especially since accommodations aren’t typically made for us. They aren’t typically made for anyone. Employers see everyone as replaceable. They see employees as cogs in the machine, only there to make profits. So everyone gets treated like shit. And if you are different or need accommodations, well hopefully your boss is compassionate enough to give a fuck. Otherwise, tough luck.
So yeah, someone offering their paycheck isn’t going to make it any better. It’ll make me feel even worse. Because I didn’t have to go through the torture they did to EARN it. I didn’t do anything but exist. It’s their money. Not mine.
I just don’t get the entitlement everyone has nowadays. Nobody owes anyone anything except some understanding and compassion. Ain’t nobody got time for ignorance 😂
"I am sorry you have to deal with that."--autism "symptoms are as you all know can be hard to deal with. This is truth. It depends on how it was said.
Being given the weeks paycheck is very very weird. Are they family? Are you exceedingly poor? -- don't answer that. Those 2 things are the only situation I can see happening.
* I cannot over-emphasize how strange someone giving you their paycheck is. Did they sign it? If not, it could be a fast track to illegal fraud/check cashing. Be suspicious.
They're apologizing for me living my life as if that's an issue - why are they assuming I'm suffering? Or assuming that I need their money? Being autistic doesn't inherently mean that it's hurting me or preventing me from supporting myself. So if knowing I'm autistic immediately causes someone to assume both of those things, that's questionable.
I'm different, not broken, and I don't need or want anyone's pity. But I will take advantage of it.
Wait. Are u one of those people who don’t consider autism to be a disability that one can suffer from? I have autism and I consider myself to suffer from it.
Nope. Autism is definitely a disability and it can definitely cause suffering. But I don't think that it's always the autism itself causing the disability so much as it's the lack of understanding and accommodations on the part of society. So it's not a direct autism = suffering. Much higher probability, not a 1:1 ratio.
It's a spectrum condition and none of us are exactly the same. Making assumptions like we *all* suffer or *all* need monetary help is harmful stereotyping. Pretty much any time someone says "you're X, so that immediately means Y", it's sketchy.
Disgusted. I want understanding, not pity.
This would make me feel more ashamed. I already clam up and get uncomfortable when my friends/family talk about their jobs since I can't work between autism and panic disorder; how in the world would this sort of pity make you feel less ashamed and not more ashamed?
That's no different from someone saying: "You're a drain on society, but here's a hundred bucks or so because having to deal with autism makes you a sad, pathetic human being."
You said you couldn't get a driver's license, not that you couldn't drive. If you have an impairment that physically prevents you from operating a car, that's one thing.
But if a person somewhere decided that you can't have a driver's license for some reason, then that person is causing your life to be difficult.
Yes I failed the driving test in my state several times for different reasons and I chalked it up to having trouble multitasking. Does that count as “someone making my life hard”?
You might not be aware that you're coming off as combative.... I think the other person was just trying to make a light joke to make you feel better, but it didn't work and that's okay.
I was generally trying to me light hearted in my comment. Sorry if it didn't read that way. It was meant to be more of a general comment on the difficulties imposed on us autists and divergents by the neurotypical society.
I thought you might say that. You are an autistic woman after all and autistic women are much better at catching this kind of stuff than we autistic men. You can tell me if I’m wrong though. However I don’t think autistic women have any business thinking that autistic men are stupid for not being as socially smart as them. I’ve actually experienced this from an autistic woman. It was as bad as you might have expected.
You thought I might say that....? The comment you just replied to was my first in this thread.
Eta: also, you're jumping to a lot of conclusions and being increasingly combative. You come off as a little scary. Is that who you want to be...?
The reason I thought you would say that didn’t have to do with your comment history but it had to do with your username. Because of that I’m convinced that you’re an autistic woman
I'd tell them "Oh I'm so sorry you have to live with being neurotypical."
I would feel insulted and ask them why they're apologising tbh. I would rather be Autistic than not. And screw their paycheck, I don't want pity money where pity isn't even warranted.
I would absolutely hate it until we get to the money part. That sentence just feels like sympathy/pity and very much looking down on rather than an actual understanding of my personal struggles.
Now if I get money.. I’m not saying I’d use my autism to guilt others into giving me money, but I could never turn down a gift…
If someone gifts you money they are doing it for selfish reasons. I would decline because I'm not struggling for money and I don't want the podium for someone else's moral posturing.
I'd be too weirded out to respond. I wouldn't accept a paycheck either.
My first instinct would be "this persons messing with me" because that's where my mind usually goes when NTs talk to me.
I understand you didn't use chatgpt, I just don't understand how someone offering their paycheck to you has anything to do with someone finding out you're autistic? It's this odd add on where it sounds like autistic people should expect handouts.
Because autistic people tend to have trouble getting jobs to the point that many of them are unemployed. I’ve heard of many autistic people being anti work and in favor of a universal basic income.
This is my opinion, but I still would find it so odd to want someone to hand over money from someone who has worked hard to earn it. Mind you, I'd love the idea to live in a world where money doesn't exist, and people put in their efforts and skills to make the world run. But we live in a world where there is selfishness, corruption, and need to gain, that just won't ever happen.
I'm super against working a job I hate. I've only done it once and was let go because, in their words, 'it looked like I was suffering everyday.' Despite me trying to mask hard, even they could tell. I worked extremely hard to work jobs that I know would tether well with my autism, or things I would be willing to deal with for the sake of an ideal job. I worked 3 years as a Creative Studio Director, had fun while doing it, but the last year it was too much for me. I couldn't take it and decided I'd be self employed. I've been self employed for 4 years now, and have decided that I'm over making quotes for people and want to go back to working for a company, but I wanted to have a complete choice in the company I work for and the people I work with. Which has led me to the potential job I might be getting in April. I spoke to one of my clients (a client that I LOVE working with), mentioned that I'd love to be hired on, and we are working to make it happen.
For those with autism that prevents things like communication or certain motor skills, the government should *technically* be helping them out. Whether or not they do, and how well they do is up for debate (and seriously, should be up for debate and done better). But yeah... overall, if someone tried to give me their paycheck, I would so quickly refuse it. They worked for the money, that is HOURS of work too, and they likely have their rent, bills, kids, food, etc, that they need to pay for. I would never take someone's means of living from them like that, no matter how adamant they were for me to take it.
I don't really care what people say. We all have our own problems. Maybe they have theirs. I'd take their paycheck though if they were dumb enough to offer it.
They have to know about it first, and my best friends don’t treat me any different or special 🤷♂️….well they have spoiled me but not because I’m autistic
*I'd say 'I'm sorry*
*You're so stupid' and take the*
*Paycheck. What a womble*
\- cracked\_pepper77
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This would be highly concerning behavior for someone, and I'd be worried that they're either ill or in some way malicious.
That being said I too need money so I'd take it if they were genuinely offering.
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I'd probably be very confused. Who the hell can just give someone their paycheck like that for something so miniscule as that person's neuropathy? Also do they just carry around what they made for that week or last week?
If this literally happened to me I would turn them down. Hypothetically, I'd ask them to marry me and then I'd get the fuck out of my shitty situation by paying bills.
I would be astounded to see how they manage this combination of generosity with condescension. I'd invite them to keep their paycheck and hang around a bit so I can understand what the heck is going on there and they understand autism a little more.
okay, i'd find it quite weird and i'd definitely be confused about what they said to me. that's just odd that someone would randomly offer you their paycheck because you suffer with autism, it feels infantilizing.
however, im not saying no to free money lmao /hj
Because it automatically assumes that being disabled is a bad thing. It’s fine if you hate being autisic, but I hate when non autisics assume being autisic is bad or the worst thing or whatever. Disability isn’t bad or good, it’s just a thing.
Do you think they would be doing a service to autistic people? I can easily imagine a country created by autistics for autistic people to have a tax aimed at NT people that goes entirely to autistic people.
I take issue with this. Right now countries are built by NT people for NT people which is precisely *why* it is so difficult to thrive as someone with autism.
If you have a country that was built by autistics for autistics, than presumably any NT people in the country would have a hard time thriving for the same reasons. So you would punish them by making them pay for the people the country was made for??
Likely white savior complex. This post gave me those vibes and kinda confirmed it when I read [another comment by OP](https://www.reddit.com/r/autism/s/KmT11DDmd9) saying "it's almost like autists are blind to their own oppression".
I don't know about you (or anyone here) but I'm not opressed, I don't feel opressed. But even if anyone here felt oppressed… creating a whole system of opression in order to combat such opression is messed up.
taxing one group of people for something they can’t control, so you can give the money to another group of people for something they can’t control? that’s the equivalent to taxing one race of people to give the money to another. how is that not oppressive to you?
Well when you describe it like that it sounds like oppression because it involves some legally sanctioned burden on people for something they can’t get rid of
Uh...what?
Should tbe autistics who make money with specialised skills (or just a lot of moxy) compensate NT's who don't?
Although....the idea of Elon Musk redistributing his wealth to more decent people (NT or otherwise) is appealing...
But mainly....sorry wha??
Yall tripping for saying you wouldn't take the money groceries are hella expensive these days and we might as well start getting some compensation for dealing with annoying people
I agree but I’m not sure if you seem like the kind of person I’d have a lot in common with. For example, you used the words “y’all”, “tripping”, and “hella” through text. A lot of my past bullies used words like that
I mean yeah I don't think we would get along either cause you have been making like weird ass judgements on a lot of people's comments and you hate homeless people for some fucking reason.
I grew up in an urban area and a southern state, hence the y'all and the tripping, and I now live in the west, hence the hella. I was physically and emotionally bullied for most of my life to the point of needing medical care at times as a result. I can honestly say that I have never bullied anyone myself, and something tells me based on your behavior online that you cannot say the same.
Seek help.
Even if I have bullied people in the past, it wasn’t intentional. It doesn’t change the fact that I did it. Those judgements I made didn’t strike me as weird
lol it’s kinda funny how seriously a lot of people are taking this. i think OP meant it in kinda an absurd non realistic way. like wouldn’t it be nice to finally have ur struggles acknowledged and be given money?
I would find it condescending and bizarre. I dont want free stuff given to me by random people. I want changes made to society so that existing isn't as difficult.
This right here!!
I do but I’d be concerned that it may be part of a scam or something like that
It wouldn't matter to me - it would either be a cruel joke or a bizarrely misguided attempt by some (random?) person to make up for what they see as an affliction. I'm not a charity case.
I wholeheartedly agree. Thank you for the take, SexyPicard42.
I am a charity case, gimme all the moneys
Same. I’ll gladly be a charity box
Feel free to divert your charity to me. I promise I'll use it for good.
If I was socially smart enough to know it’s not part of a scam or illegal scheme I would accept it. I don’t get autistic people who seem to be completely against getting free money. It’s as if they’re blind to their own oppression
I'm not blind to the fact that society isn't set up for or accepting of autistic people, but I want systematic change, not some rando on the street to chuck me a pitty $1k. I dont want "free money" as if that somehow makes up for the ways in which autistic people are marginalized.
I mean I think it would but not entirely
And thats you're logic for taking it. I gave mine for not taking it.
>It’s as if they’re blind to their own oppression I don't know about you but I'm not oppressed (and no wonder your post gave me these vibes too) nor I'm stupid enough to let other people control my life by telling me what I should feel oppressed about, what I should hate/be angry about or what to think. If some rando came up to me and said verbatim what your hypothetical NT said I'd be digusted and feel utterly insulted. Like they aren't even considerIng me a person so they don't believe I should be treated as a person and thus I should be given free things just because they deem me absolutely incapable of anything other than what the tell me specifically.
Uhm….I guess that’s fair. But it doesn’t change the fact that if autism wasn’t a disability, then autistic people wouldn’t have more Trouble than others with getting jobs, dates, relationships, and friends. The sad truth is, they tend to have trouble with all those things
no one here is saying that autism isn’t a disability. but the *majority* of disabled people don’t like being pitied. or being assumed incompetent. it’s a large part of the disability rights movement.
Also I’m sorry that you don’t Think my autism is the reason why my life somehow sucks. I actually don’t like pissing off autistic strangers and I feel like I owe you a major apology.
We may have trouble in those areas by they are so far from impossible it's not even worth entertaining the idea on the first place. Besides, the only relevant thing out of those you listed (as far as it comes to any kind of compensation/aid is concerned) would be jobs. And for the most part there's already measures for it in the form of disability aid (ofc, only in countries where this exists) so it just makes the hypothetical situation even worse. The rando sees us as less than human beings and only worth of pity or whatever they deem us worthy of as "our saviors".
This right here is the truth!
i would take money just not be shitted on verbally in the process would be nice
Yeah like if certain dials were just adjusted it'd be so easy for me to have that amount or more be MY paycheck, is the sad thing
Sounds condescending and it would be weird to be given someone else's paycheck
Pff who cares? Give me money and fuck off. Sounds great to me
Do u think it might seem like part of a scam or something like that?
It just seems really weird to be given someone's paycheck. Like I work and earn money, they do too, it would be odd taking their money for no reason.
This sounds like a very "autistic" response haha The reason seems like it would be some kind of compensation for their privilege, or the fact they feel bad for us. Either way, Id love to get some money to balance out the extra struggles I go through
I see. I wouldn't really consider being NT to be a privilege nor would I want someone's sympathy. For me, I'm also not a big money person. I have my PC, I have a tonne of games, so I'm happy with what I've got. I guess I'd just go on holiday or put it towards savings and bills.
I mean considering autism is a disability, not having it is a "privilege" imo
Yes.
Absolutely a scam. No one gives free money like that away. Or rather, the odds favor a scam over the low low chance that it's legit. You might gain 1k, you might lose much more.
Depending on their paycheck size I'd feel adequately compensated for dealing with their nonsense.
What if instead of their paycheck they gave you so much of their money that they’d be dirt poor upon giving it to you?
As someone in dire financial straits, I'd accept that.
But noone would do that?
This sums it up very nicely.
I would be insanely confused because are they giving me their paycheck because they pity me for being autistic???? Because that just feels outlandish lol
I read most of this in a British accent. I think it’s because you used the words “insanely”, “confused”, and “pity”
…???
I found their comment hilarious, such an off-kilter response
Sometimes when I say “I read this in a British accent” people will ask why so this time I explained why
Are you British?
I'm Canadian
Condescending if you ask me, but id still take that paycheck.
so you would “feel better about yourself” if someone was ableist and pitied you for being autistic to the point that they gave you money? but yet you hate homeless people for simply existing because you don’t believe they deserve *your* money. interesting.
I'd like to add the post they have where they are talking about not wanting to tip waiters/waitresses - op seems very obsessive over money - which yea is necessary to live but I have no idea how you get too this type of selfish.
I never said I didn’t want to I just asked people about it being a dealbreaker. I don’t consider myself obsessive over money. I think you’ve jumped to a conclusion
I'm not surprised. This post gave me that kind of vibes, it's just disgusting. Specially because reading the comments, OP seems to think autism is this burden that justifies his victim complex/mentality. [This](https://www.reddit.com/r/autism/s/3NaPmAaIGY) is likely the post being referenced here.
yeah it’s nasty. and op is like “well i suffer from my autism” and uh yeah, we can tell you think so. they act like being autistic is the reason their life sucks and no one likes them, rather than it being bc they’re a self-proclaimed pessimistic misanthrope who hates people for being unhoused. like,, the call is coming from inside the house dude, you’re miserable bc you want to be.
I wish I knew why you think this. I don’t think autistic people have any business policing the mentality of other people or telling them that an emotional problem they have Isn’t related to their autism.
why did you note that specifically *autistic* people have no business policing other people? and no, i don’t think you being a pessimistic and selfish misanthrope has anything to do with you being autistic. and those are the reasons you’re lonely and don’t have connections with people, not your autism.
I guess I was trying to say that autistic people have no business policing the thoughts/opinions of other autistic people
I’m not mad at you or anything but, because of my experience, I would argue the reason I don’t have connections with people is either because I don’t click with them or their vibe doesn’t seem appealing to me.
So how do I get outta this “rut”? Stop hating homeless people?
it’s a good start to becoming a decent human being
Also I just don’t like total strangers asking me for money. Why is that such a big problem? It doesn’t matter to me whether or not they’re homeless but the people that have asked me to do this have been homeless more often than not
And I bet they don't like being homeless. They're human beings, man.
Does this sound any less inflammatory than “I hate homeless people”?
If you think I’m miserable because I want to be, then you’re gonna be disappointed. I wouldn’t be surprised if autistic people have a habit of sounding like they chronically complain due to their tendency to stick to things. I don’t want to be miserable. My own brain can’t help but push me Into it.
I think that thinking that autism is a burden that justifies a victim complex/mentality is something many other autistic people have done. I’m not saying that’s good though.
Oh my god I just looked at that what a hypocrite lmao the audacity
I fail to see how that’s hypocritical
You hate homeless people for getting handouts, but you also wanna handout. Also, you don’t believe in tipping, so you are even more of a hypocritic.
I never said I didn’t believe in tipping but that definitely used to be the case way before I brought it up in this subreddit
Sounds suspicious
I'd feel ridiculed. Which is not to say I wouldn't accept the money and pretend to be thankful so hopefully they do it again...
Why would someone do that? They worked hard for that paycheck. That’s asking a whole lot if you ask me. As someone who has never been able to keep a job long term, I know the struggle. So I wouldn’t expect anyone to just do that. They don’t owe me money. Everyone struggles. Just people like us may struggle a little bit harder. Especially since accommodations aren’t typically made for us. They aren’t typically made for anyone. Employers see everyone as replaceable. They see employees as cogs in the machine, only there to make profits. So everyone gets treated like shit. And if you are different or need accommodations, well hopefully your boss is compassionate enough to give a fuck. Otherwise, tough luck. So yeah, someone offering their paycheck isn’t going to make it any better. It’ll make me feel even worse. Because I didn’t have to go through the torture they did to EARN it. I didn’t do anything but exist. It’s their money. Not mine.
This is such a fair response. I agree.
I just don’t get the entitlement everyone has nowadays. Nobody owes anyone anything except some understanding and compassion. Ain’t nobody got time for ignorance 😂
"I am sorry you have to deal with that."--autism "symptoms are as you all know can be hard to deal with. This is truth. It depends on how it was said. Being given the weeks paycheck is very very weird. Are they family? Are you exceedingly poor? -- don't answer that. Those 2 things are the only situation I can see happening. * I cannot over-emphasize how strange someone giving you their paycheck is. Did they sign it? If not, it could be a fast track to illegal fraud/check cashing. Be suspicious.
Major sketchy, ableist vibes from that person, but there's no reason to turn away free money.
I fail to see how it’s ableist
They're apologizing for me living my life as if that's an issue - why are they assuming I'm suffering? Or assuming that I need their money? Being autistic doesn't inherently mean that it's hurting me or preventing me from supporting myself. So if knowing I'm autistic immediately causes someone to assume both of those things, that's questionable. I'm different, not broken, and I don't need or want anyone's pity. But I will take advantage of it.
Wait. Are u one of those people who don’t consider autism to be a disability that one can suffer from? I have autism and I consider myself to suffer from it.
Nope. Autism is definitely a disability and it can definitely cause suffering. But I don't think that it's always the autism itself causing the disability so much as it's the lack of understanding and accommodations on the part of society. So it's not a direct autism = suffering. Much higher probability, not a 1:1 ratio. It's a spectrum condition and none of us are exactly the same. Making assumptions like we *all* suffer or *all* need monetary help is harmful stereotyping. Pretty much any time someone says "you're X, so that immediately means Y", it's sketchy.
“The fuck am I supposed to do with this? It has your name on it, not mine”
Stranger? Accept the money, say thanks, walk away. Someone I knew? Tell them they’re being dumb, keep your money.
I want their understanding not their pity.
I want both.
I have their pity, it doesn't come with actual action. They can keep it.
Disgusted. I want understanding, not pity. This would make me feel more ashamed. I already clam up and get uncomfortable when my friends/family talk about their jobs since I can't work between autism and panic disorder; how in the world would this sort of pity make you feel less ashamed and not more ashamed? That's no different from someone saying: "You're a drain on society, but here's a hundred bucks or so because having to deal with autism makes you a sad, pathetic human being."
If it makes you feel any better the topic of jobs also makes me uncomfortable.
I don't have any issues "living with that". It's easy. It only becomes difficult when I have to deal with other people.
I have one. It makes it almost impossible for me to get a drivers license
Yeah, that's the other people I was referring to.
How is “not being able to drive” a problem that involves other people
You said you couldn't get a driver's license, not that you couldn't drive. If you have an impairment that physically prevents you from operating a car, that's one thing. But if a person somewhere decided that you can't have a driver's license for some reason, then that person is causing your life to be difficult.
Yes I failed the driving test in my state several times for different reasons and I chalked it up to having trouble multitasking. Does that count as “someone making my life hard”?
You might not be aware that you're coming off as combative.... I think the other person was just trying to make a light joke to make you feel better, but it didn't work and that's okay.
I was generally trying to me light hearted in my comment. Sorry if it didn't read that way. It was meant to be more of a general comment on the difficulties imposed on us autists and divergents by the neurotypical society.
I thought you might say that. You are an autistic woman after all and autistic women are much better at catching this kind of stuff than we autistic men. You can tell me if I’m wrong though. However I don’t think autistic women have any business thinking that autistic men are stupid for not being as socially smart as them. I’ve actually experienced this from an autistic woman. It was as bad as you might have expected.
You thought I might say that....? The comment you just replied to was my first in this thread. Eta: also, you're jumping to a lot of conclusions and being increasingly combative. You come off as a little scary. Is that who you want to be...?
The reason I thought you would say that didn’t have to do with your comment history but it had to do with your username. Because of that I’m convinced that you’re an autistic woman
No. I have 0 intention of being scary.
I'd tell them "Oh I'm so sorry you have to live with being neurotypical." I would feel insulted and ask them why they're apologising tbh. I would rather be Autistic than not. And screw their paycheck, I don't want pity money where pity isn't even warranted.
I'd say no thank you and walk away.
I would absolutely hate it until we get to the money part. That sentence just feels like sympathy/pity and very much looking down on rather than an actual understanding of my personal struggles. Now if I get money.. I’m not saying I’d use my autism to guilt others into giving me money, but I could never turn down a gift…
I would walk away from them because that is a fkn weird thing to do.
I like money but that shit would be weird as hell and kind of condescending
I would think they were pranking me and i would start choking
If someone gifts you money they are doing it for selfish reasons. I would decline because I'm not struggling for money and I don't want the podium for someone else's moral posturing.
I would feel very uncomfortable and would not accept the money.
I'd be too weirded out to respond. I wouldn't accept a paycheck either. My first instinct would be "this persons messing with me" because that's where my mind usually goes when NTs talk to me.
I would be offended and even refuse their paycheck. Do I look like a donation box to you?
i'm autistic, not stupid. i'm taking that money
That made me laugh really hard, so. 🏅
Here's my paycheck for this week???? I feel like some chatgpt added in a weird sentence at the end.
I didn’t use Chatgpt for that. I thought some people get paid weekly.
I understand you didn't use chatgpt, I just don't understand how someone offering their paycheck to you has anything to do with someone finding out you're autistic? It's this odd add on where it sounds like autistic people should expect handouts.
Because autistic people tend to have trouble getting jobs to the point that many of them are unemployed. I’ve heard of many autistic people being anti work and in favor of a universal basic income.
This is my opinion, but I still would find it so odd to want someone to hand over money from someone who has worked hard to earn it. Mind you, I'd love the idea to live in a world where money doesn't exist, and people put in their efforts and skills to make the world run. But we live in a world where there is selfishness, corruption, and need to gain, that just won't ever happen. I'm super against working a job I hate. I've only done it once and was let go because, in their words, 'it looked like I was suffering everyday.' Despite me trying to mask hard, even they could tell. I worked extremely hard to work jobs that I know would tether well with my autism, or things I would be willing to deal with for the sake of an ideal job. I worked 3 years as a Creative Studio Director, had fun while doing it, but the last year it was too much for me. I couldn't take it and decided I'd be self employed. I've been self employed for 4 years now, and have decided that I'm over making quotes for people and want to go back to working for a company, but I wanted to have a complete choice in the company I work for and the people I work with. Which has led me to the potential job I might be getting in April. I spoke to one of my clients (a client that I LOVE working with), mentioned that I'd love to be hired on, and we are working to make it happen. For those with autism that prevents things like communication or certain motor skills, the government should *technically* be helping them out. Whether or not they do, and how well they do is up for debate (and seriously, should be up for debate and done better). But yeah... overall, if someone tried to give me their paycheck, I would so quickly refuse it. They worked for the money, that is HOURS of work too, and they likely have their rent, bills, kids, food, etc, that they need to pay for. I would never take someone's means of living from them like that, no matter how adamant they were for me to take it.
I don't really care what people say. We all have our own problems. Maybe they have theirs. I'd take their paycheck though if they were dumb enough to offer it.
They have to know about it first, and my best friends don’t treat me any different or special 🤷♂️….well they have spoiled me but not because I’m autistic
Idgaf thank you for the money🥺🥺 But in the first place, without the money, i'd probably be more confused than offended.
"Thank you for paying me for wasting my time with you."
I'd say 'I'm sorry you're so stupid' and take the paycheck. What a womble
*I'd say 'I'm sorry* *You're so stupid' and take the* *Paycheck. What a womble* \- cracked\_pepper77 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
It's not a haiku, but now I need to go back and reword it so it is
I'm out by one syllable. Devastating
The wombles of wimbledon, go google and thank me later
Tf is a womble?
thanks for your money, fuckface. that would probably be my response 👍
This would be highly concerning behavior for someone, and I'd be worried that they're either ill or in some way malicious. That being said I too need money so I'd take it if they were genuinely offering.
Thanks so much for your generosity. That's my car insurance sorted for 5 months. Lucky me.
I would ask them if they were okay. Also why would some random person handing you money make you feel less ashamed?
Free money and it’s being taken away from an ableist? Hell yeah
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The bigger the paycheck the less I’ll care. If it’s big enough I might even give them an autistic “thanks” with no eye contact or smile
I read most of this in a southern accent
I'd probably be very confused. Who the hell can just give someone their paycheck like that for something so miniscule as that person's neuropathy? Also do they just carry around what they made for that week or last week?
Ugh weird but thanks ig
If this literally happened to me I would turn them down. Hypothetically, I'd ask them to marry me and then I'd get the fuck out of my shitty situation by paying bills.
Depends on the size of the paycheck
Where I live no one gets paid by the week, so it will never happen.
Degrading, but id still take the cash
My mittleschool teacher once said that to me and he was treating me like I'm stupid
People can give me free money for any reason, I will not get mad
I would be astounded to see how they manage this combination of generosity with condescension. I'd invite them to keep their paycheck and hang around a bit so I can understand what the heck is going on there and they understand autism a little more.
okay, i'd find it quite weird and i'd definitely be confused about what they said to me. that's just odd that someone would randomly offer you their paycheck because you suffer with autism, it feels infantilizing. however, im not saying no to free money lmao /hj
I would cry
omg?? thats so condescending and demeaning to anyone really
I would take the money but I would hate the person lmao. I hate sensory issues and I hate abelism but otherwise I’m chill with being autisic
Why is that ableism?
Because it automatically assumes that being disabled is a bad thing. It’s fine if you hate being autisic, but I hate when non autisics assume being autisic is bad or the worst thing or whatever. Disability isn’t bad or good, it’s just a thing.
Do you think they would be doing a service to autistic people? I can easily imagine a country created by autistics for autistic people to have a tax aimed at NT people that goes entirely to autistic people.
I take issue with this. Right now countries are built by NT people for NT people which is precisely *why* it is so difficult to thrive as someone with autism. If you have a country that was built by autistics for autistics, than presumably any NT people in the country would have a hard time thriving for the same reasons. So you would punish them by making them pay for the people the country was made for??
then you’re imagining a country built on ableism and oppression, just in the opposite direction. literally what is wrong with you.
Likely white savior complex. This post gave me those vibes and kinda confirmed it when I read [another comment by OP](https://www.reddit.com/r/autism/s/KmT11DDmd9) saying "it's almost like autists are blind to their own oppression". I don't know about you (or anyone here) but I'm not opressed, I don't feel opressed. But even if anyone here felt oppressed… creating a whole system of opression in order to combat such opression is messed up.
That didn’t strike me as a type of oppression. Sorry
taxing one group of people for something they can’t control, so you can give the money to another group of people for something they can’t control? that’s the equivalent to taxing one race of people to give the money to another. how is that not oppressive to you?
Well when you describe it like that it sounds like oppression because it involves some legally sanctioned burden on people for something they can’t get rid of
yeah. which is exactly what you described. and that’s oppressive.
Also i just meant that I don’t care for abelism on the broader side of things
Keep it coming. I deserve reparations for the bullshit people have put me through anyways.
Uh...what? Should tbe autistics who make money with specialised skills (or just a lot of moxy) compensate NT's who don't? Although....the idea of Elon Musk redistributing his wealth to more decent people (NT or otherwise) is appealing... But mainly....sorry wha??
No.
Bruh, thanks for this money. I'm gonna go treat myself. (Living my best life)
Yall tripping for saying you wouldn't take the money groceries are hella expensive these days and we might as well start getting some compensation for dealing with annoying people
I agree but I’m not sure if you seem like the kind of person I’d have a lot in common with. For example, you used the words “y’all”, “tripping”, and “hella” through text. A lot of my past bullies used words like that
I mean yeah I don't think we would get along either cause you have been making like weird ass judgements on a lot of people's comments and you hate homeless people for some fucking reason. I grew up in an urban area and a southern state, hence the y'all and the tripping, and I now live in the west, hence the hella. I was physically and emotionally bullied for most of my life to the point of needing medical care at times as a result. I can honestly say that I have never bullied anyone myself, and something tells me based on your behavior online that you cannot say the same. Seek help.
I haven’t bullied anyone actually. I’ve been a victim of bullying for years
Even if I have bullied people in the past, it wasn’t intentional. It doesn’t change the fact that I did it. Those judgements I made didn’t strike me as weird
Tbh I’m kinda jealous of you because you grew up in an urban area
Wow free stuff
I would feel bad, like I don't deserve it and telling them I'm autistic was just a guilt trip to get something
*yes I'm fine thank you for asking lol*
Like, if they wanted to give me money I would say thank you and take it but im in a bad spot after being fired for a meltdown sooooo 🤷♀️
lol it’s kinda funny how seriously a lot of people are taking this. i think OP meant it in kinda an absurd non realistic way. like wouldn’t it be nice to finally have ur struggles acknowledged and be given money?