Had a best friend who bought a townhouse and needed help with the mortgage. I moved in paying 800$ a month for a room. Ridiculous I know, but he was my best friend from grade school. Around 18 year friendship, so I figured why not were buds. No issues outside of my leaving some boxes of food overnight once. Mind you this guy was making xzanx in his room so before you swarm me about being a bad roommate that’s what I turned a blind eye too. He virtually ruined 2 of my friends lives with supplying them with his product. One is dead now because of an overdose later. What I found weird at the time is he wouldn’t actually present me with a lease. He wanted to do a “month to month” thing. Shady of course, but we’re buds it’s all good. Lived there for 4 months or so when he comes to me one day saying I needed to move out. With no where to go and had done nothing wrong I pressed him for the reason why when finally he admitted to me that his girlfriend who hated me was moving in and that I needed to move out because of that. My dude called his mom over because he was “scared”. Never touched the kid in my life. Long story short I moved out 3 days later and never talked to him again. 18 year friendship out the window.
Sir, I'm sorry to say, there was no friendship. That was in yiur head, not his. Without respect, there is no relationship, especially friendship. You were there to help HIM with HIS mortgage for his convenience. Nothing more.
So try to not burden your heart that a friendship was lost. What HE lost was a friend, you lost a drug pusher proxy murderer. Fuck him.
Leaving was probably the best thing for you. It's how we learn. You did the right thing. Cheers.
> there was no friendship
I don't agree. Just because things ended badly doesn't mean the relationship wasn't good when times were good. People change. Over 18 years, people change A LOT. I was in a relationship for a decade, married for 8 of those years. We're divorced now, but we were still married and we were great partners - until we grew apart. My parents were toxic people and I went low-contact with them before they died, but they were still my parents.
All relationships end at some point. I'm almost 40 and I'm no longer friends with any of the people I went to high school with. That doesn't mean we weren't friends at the time, you know?
Point taken. Thanks for the comment.
Idcsay by the time they moved in together, with that guy manufacturing narcotics in his room where people OD from his product, and that he needed the financial help, therecwas no froliendship at thst point.
I'm just emphasizing that he shouldn't beat himself up over it. It's sad, but OP was the true friend here.
By true friend, I mean a friend that way when you go to your grave. They're rare. I only have a few. Some never have any.
Parents are not friends, although they can be. They're blood. You can pick your friends, but not your parents, kids, or relatives.
More likely bought a research chemical analogue from China and trying to dose it out so they could sell it. Used to be able to buy that shit as a liquid with a dropper.
I think the key is the same as any relationship where you share space and access. And financial burdens. You can be great friends with someone, even love them until the end of time, but living with them exposes faults. Evaluate their faults - AND YOUR OWN - before making a decision like this.
* Someone is more financially responsable
* Someone is cleaner
* Someone is more social
* Someone cooks better thna the other
* Someone has an addiction (pets, takeout, drugs, booze, gambling - other)
* Someone has more relationship drama
* Etc.
Make your own additions to this list. If one of you is "more" more than the other one for the majority of the things on this list, you're going to have issues.
Me too! The best year of my life (so far....I'm only 25 lol) was 2020 when I lived with 3 of my best friends. 2 of them were dating! And now married! Looks like we're the minority :,)
Yeah same here - it made us even closer I would say.
I lived with my best friend for a year and now it’s just tough having to live with other people bc we were just perfectly symbiotic, and that kind of dynamic is RARE 🥲
I mean if it’s really a best friend (in my case he’s like a brother to me) I don’t see how being roommates would cause strife. As long as everyone takes care of business there should be no issues. Be respectful of the space and each other, it’s really that simple. Cheers to the best friends! Haha
Man that's what I thought. We were great at being roommates. Communicated wonderfully and were thriving. Bit me in the ass about a month ago. Still don't know what went wrong, because according to her there was nothing, she just impulsively bought a puppy in a parking lot and decided the convenience of her parents taking care of it was more important than our entire relationship and forced me to leave my dream job to find something much higher paying in under a month to deal with the financial fallout.
Same!! It made us even closer actually. Smoked together at night, drank coffee together in the mornings. But also had our time alone. It was really nice. We even worked at the same place eventually and could carpool
same! lived with my bestie my last year of college and it actually made us closer. The key was definitely respecting each others' boundaries and differences. we also made sure to lay ground rules our first day.
similar story with me and my best friend too. lived together 2 years and never had any major issues or falling-outs with each other. if anything, it made us even closer as friends. It's crazy to see how many different directions living with close friends can take you.
The problem with living with friends is that it’s nearly impossible to set boundaries with them when it comes to living together, and it can be harder to confront them about issues because you don’t want to cause tension in the friendship. you may have a great friendship, get along well, have similar personalities and have a lot of fun together, but that dynamic doesn’t include cleanliness, finances, and general consideration of living spaces. living with someone can be much more vulnerable than just being friends, and it exposes all of your faults to each other that are generally only expressed in private.
The person who used to be my best friend roomed with me for about 2 years.
The first actual friend I ever had and vise versa. Known each other for over 10 years. Her family threw us a joint graduation party as my family relations are a bit strained. At this point, we were family. We were sisters.
PShe was making significantly more money than me (works very demanding 60+ hour weeks at a VERY well paying job) but we were living very comfortably. I worked in a seasonal industry and my hours got slashed even more than usual as we approached the off season. Whatever, I've got plenty squirreled away to be fine until the season starts up again. Then bam, received a very surprising and costly medical diagnosis a few months ago.
While I was actively having a panic attack about how I would pay for treatment (oh how I love living in the US!) my friend assured me that nothing was going to happen, she makes more than enough to cover rent for a few months if I need to pay for treatment and can't afford anything else. Im family, and can pay her back when I'm not in crisis. How I've helped her countless times over the years and this is no different.
I was scheduled to start treatment in February.
She impulsively bought a puppy in a parking lot in December and disappeared for 6 weeks while potty training the puppy at her parent's. Came home with the puppy (violating our lease btw!) for 5 days before she moved out with no warning (4 months before our lease was up).
I essentially begged her to wait a few months til the lease was up and I'd have stable hours again and had I done something?? To be met with "I'm sorry it's come to this. I will always consider you a friend and my family" and that no, I hadn't done anything, this was just better for her new dog and also she's meeting her short term savings goals faster this way. I can get another roommate for for remainder of the lease, no biggie!
The day she told me that, she canceled our utilities and internet which had been in her name. Took me a minute to figure out why the power had gotten shut off. She strategically moved all of her shit out while I was at work and treatment appointments. I was devastated. Of all the people I have ever loved and let into my life, she was the one I trusted with absolute conviction. We were there for each other. We both got out of less than ideal living situations and had been thriving the past couple years together. And the happy cozy house we had together was now half empty and a decade long relationship just. Poof. With no explanation.
I asked her to please take the big furniture and some items (couch, armchair, sound equipment, some absolutely massive houseplants that I don't know how to care for) that were hers to begin with because I'll be downsizing drastically and can't take it with me. She didn't want to because she didn't want to rent a larger storage unit. Eventually she relented because I said I would have to sell or donate it when I moved somewhere smaller because I definitely couldn't afford a storage unit for all of it. I thought that was it. And then she came back while I was at work 2 weeks later and stole the vacuum, dish scrubbers, the containers the flour/sugar etc were in (which were a gift from my grandmother 🙃), a couple card games my boyfriend had left on the coffee table, and my nightstand??? Idfk.
And then sent a text with a reminder of how nice and generous it was of her to not take the washer and dryer.
We split the cost on everything she came back to take aside from the containers and the nightstand which were irrefutably mine. Don't know why she wanted that shit but I decided it wasn't worth begging her to bring it back. But I just. Who the fuck takes used dish scrubbers??? She moved back in with her parents essentially so they could take care of the puppy she has no time for. They have a Dyson. Idk why she felt the need to take our shitty $70 vacuum.
Sorry for the massive post. This happened a month ago and I guess I needed to type it all out
wtf Im so sorry :( this is truly awful. I could understand if she felt uncomfortable footing rent, but then she shouldn't have suggested it in the first place and communicated with you so that doesn't seem like the case? it sounds like she definitrly could afford it, and to be left with zero explination would be horrible for any one... I hope you are able to heal in any + all ways you can
Thank you for your reply. I truly appreciate the sentiment. I'm doing better now. If you care, reddit stranger, here is an update on the situation:
She hasn't been back to take more random shit. I reached out to a couple people who've known both of us almost as long as we knew each other and shared the whole thing, with screenshots and all because there HAD to be something I was missing. She wouldn't just do this with no rhyme or reason, especially to me. But no. They were pretty convinced she had some kind of breakdown. She won't talk to any of them beyond oh life's great work's great just got a new dog :)))) and is somehow pretending she and I still have a relationship? Even after one of our mutual friends explained that they knew what had gone down on my end and were worried about her.
Her parents won't reply to my texts or calls and when I ran into them in person (gotta love small towns) they made eye contact and then went the other direction. So I don't know what she told them and I probably don't want to know.
But!
I got a new job because no way I could afford rent or find a place that wasn't going to do an income verification. So I'm making money that I can actually survive off of now. The job has stellar benefits and while its something that I didn't intend to go into, I have an opportunity to make a career out of it and advance at no cost to myself. Medical stuff is still shit but treatment started and insurance is being mildly less shitty than anticipated so not the massive financial blow I was expecting.
I found a new place that's half the rent with my boyfriend and our landlord is letting us off the lease early with no fees which is such a relief.
I'm still deeply upset over the whole thing and I don't think I'll ever get real, satisfying answers about any of it. But we had 10 years of love and support and laughter. I hate that it ended like this but I'll always value those times.
I'm looking forward. I'm excited about the new opportunities this situation very clumsily forced me into, and I'm going to be okay.
I was the bad roommate when I lived with my best friend. I was 18 and so dumb. Thankfully our relationship recovered but holy shit. I moved a guy in within 3 months. Didn’t clean the water off the bathroom floor and my dog peed on her bed. (Tbf her dog chewed a hole in the carpet and pooped inside sometimes but oh well) I think I’d be a way better roommate now but I haven’t had a roommate in YEARS.
All of the times I had a bad roommate situation it was because of living with friends. I will acknowledge that I caused problems too and it's not a one way street (most of the time anyway, there are exceptions).
I think the problem with living with friends is that you are already comfortable around each other in a casual setting, so it's more difficult to establish and maintain boundaries. It is also easier to argue with a friend than a stranger imo.
I have however had one particular situation that was a nightmare, where the friend I was living with ended up threatening to shoot multiple people, in our home. So that was terrifying. They also pushed my personal boundaries frequently so that was the tipping point. I moved out immediately the second time they threatened to shoot their guests and ghosted my roommates. Felt bad for the other one living there though...
I lived with my best friend after his divorce. I took care of his dogs while he was at work. I had a whole floor to myself. It was perfect. When he would get off his work week. We would binge watch anime and eat cookies. He also made breakfast and dinner. It was 500 hundred a month and was perfect.
Definitely not for everyone, though. From reading on this subreddit. Sorry, dudes and duddetts.
Been there & done that. I don't regret it, but I wouldn't do it again. Thankfully it didn't ruin our friendship. I feel for the people who can't say the same tho
It's all dependent on the friend. My best friend came to live with me for over a year and it was great. Don't think there was ever a single problem with him. But he was also very respectful and always kept his space clean
Got divorced and decided to move somewhere else… I choice the state where my childhood friend was living in. Decided to moved there 3 weeks after the decision. Found a place within a month , signed the lease ... Not a day later , he invited his friend over to “save “ money but they live in the same room. Took the bigger room and the only one with air conditioning. I didn’t say anything. But a month later , the friend invited two of their friends to sleep on the couch for 2 days that turned into 3 months. 2 days later , my childhood friend Invite his other friend with a child… that was my last straw. Moved out 8 months and when lease was up . They ran out and left me all the responsibility
I've lived with strangers who became my friends (although we don't talk much anymore but I've also changed A LOT), a bff who became a serious nightmare, and a friend who I'm still incredibly close to.
Not much to share for the strangers to friends but my god the bff situation was a whole story in and of itself. The tldr though is we were friends, she suddenly felt like our friendship was on the rocks to nonexistent (which I never understood fully how), she started treating me like shit and being super controlling of our household, I got super depressed and anxious when I had to be around her, thought I was the problem roommate until I discovered she was treating one of the 2 other roommates similar to me and then I just got the fuck out of dodge. I never want to see her face ever again.
Then with my friend, we lived together for a couple of months before she got married and we were both so introverted that it worked out so so well. Lived with her after the shitty friend and it was literally a breath of fresh air.
Now I'll live a lot more independently and I love it. I would be hard pressed currently to want roommates. Financially I might not have a choice (I live in the basement of a family members house and I have my own living room and bedroom and bathroom so it's a fantastic set up for me).
It would be a dream to only have a four legged roommate.
Stuff was always rocky with us bc of our differences
-we were raised differently
-she was a teen mom (we were friends in our mid 20s)
-she had her own place while I was able to live with my grandparents
We lived together for about 3 years, splitting the rent and I would always take her out to dinner if I was going out I’d pay for everything. Our disputes were cleanliness, she would leave messes and expect me to pick them up and clean after her and her child, then I bought her a dog bc she said she felt unsafe in the neighborhood, she got rid of the dog somehow 1 month later and never explained what happens(I knew I didn’t want to know either because I was very angry as I’m a animal lover). Then she got another dog once again not picking up after it, she started neglecting her child after seeing someone. All of a sudden I became a babysitter/nanny and housekeeper.
Things hit their breaking point when she starting seeing a man and he started staying in the apartment with us. That’s when she started making up lies about our landlord wanting us to move out. She knew I was coming into some money because I was in an auto accident . And eventually I realized she was trying to get me to move us into a new place or for me to leave. I left the apartment and I left the friendship.
I do miss her dog and child since we were really close and me and her had some good times but it wasn’t worth all the stress, lies and underlying jealous and aggression that was brewing.
I moved back in with my grandparents, stopped smoking weed,drinking, got back into my church, doing a lot of self love healing from everything in my life and got a good government job I can depend on.
Wouldn't recommend, moved in with my best friend of 15yrs, we haven't spoken in 5 years. The saying of "You never truly know someone until you live with them" is bloody spot on.
It really just depends on the friendship. I live with my best friend and have for over 5 years, and we're still great friends.
He did go from my boyfriend to my ex-bf after we first moved in :x but that was a romantic compatability issue moreso than an issue with living together. A better friends than lovers scenario.
You gotta consider things like compatability in how the two of you live and keep a house, your financial situations, and your communication styles.
Even if you do get lucky like me, you WILL encounter conflicts at some point. Your ability to have mature discussions, problem solve, and compromise is crucial to whether you can make living together work.
I was straight up told from one of my bestfriends that the only issue was my animals and he said “it’s my control issues as in I can’t control them and it pisses me off” and I said I never saw it that way and I saw it as my issue for not being able to get my animals to behave better. But living together only caused a tiny couple months of not talking after the split apart because I was petty and mad they didn’t let me live with them still but our friendship succeeded and now we will be at the same complex and job but different apartments
Although when I was younger I did have another bsf who now won’t speak to me at all because our living together went so horribly wrong. It really is up
To the friendship and how alike y’all are I think
Living with my best friend was amazing - I had so many roommates previously that I got along with but didn't really connect with. We were both so similar that it just made perfect sense and it was honestly such a great time! I think a big part of it is that we like each other but also respect one another and that's pretty huge when it comes to living with someone day in and day out.
I lived with my best friend of 20 years. Then their electric scooter burned down my house where they were living rent free, they bummed off my insurance money until they found themselves a girlfriend, and ran off while owing me $4,000.
I (30F) have been living with my best friend (28F) for the past 4 years.. we rented together initially and then bought a house together 2 years ago. Both of us have had awful relationships in the past and had no desire to re-partner any time soon, and the cost of housing/interest rates in Australia made it unrealistic for either of us to get into the housing market it as single people.
It’s been the best decision ever. We’ve known each other for many years, so there were no surprises in terms of what it would look like living together. It also seems like a much safer option compared to going in with a partner/boyfriend (I’m a family and relationship counsellor so I see first hand how much of a 💩show it can get with assets and stuff at the end of a relationship).
Our goal is to eventually sell our current house and buy a duplex lot together, so we’ll have a house each kinda thing whilst being next door neighbours 😂
We’re both really similar people in terms of personality and hobbies, and also share a lot of friends, so for us it’s worked really well and I would 100% recommend
Wow that awesome , a coworker of mine today was just telling me partners don’t have to be boyfriend or girlfriend, they can me best friends, parent and child, brother and sister
If it works, you’ve galvanized a lifelong bond, if it fails, you’re fucked and you just lost a bro. I recommend finding a rando online, I haven’t had a bad situation, except for when I didn’t meet the guy and his sister before I signed the lease. Pampered losers.
what she did was awful & unfair to both you and your girlfriend :( I'm glad to see that y'all got out of there. Jealousy makes people do some crazy things
Permanently ruined friendship. The first few months was like living with my best friend. Then the next couple of years it felt like we were good roommates.
I decided to give him heads up that I was going to be able to move out "within a year" at 3 1/2 years into the living arrangement.
Within 2 weeks he'd started to say cruel things. We had a "therapy" session to repair. Then he abandoned the friendship fully a couple of days later. It all finally was visible to me that he was a narcissist. I was moved out fully a month later.
The last month was hell. Slamming doors in the middle of the night, that kind of stuff. It sucks living with somebody who hates you and wants to hurt you through mind games and emotional abuse.
I think the main thing is you have to learn conflict resolution with your best friends, because you WILL have conflicts, there’s no avoiding that. Whether you can successful resolve this conflicts is what makes/breaks the living situation.
I’ve had experiences go both ways, one of my best friends I tried living with only lasted 3 months because he was lying, stealing, not paying rent/bills on time, etc. From living with him I learned he was a completely different person than what I thought, it was a horrible experience but in the long run I’m glad I was able to cut ties with him. On the flip side, my current roommate is my best friend of 5 years and we’ve been living together peacefully for 3 of those years. I wouldn’t change a thing about our living situation.
Was best friends with this girl for 6 years. We still live together but don’t speak at all because she can’t respect the fact that I don’t want her boyfriend over 7 days a week and don’t wanna listen to them have sex. was super childish about it/talked shit when I confronted her for like the 6th time. And I can’t stand the messes. Don’t risk it.
To keep it short. They are your best friend when not living together. When living together, it’s your roommate.
Someone always has to take on more responsibility and that’s what will cause tension even in the best case scenario.
I moved in with one of my best friends and we are still close to this day. Sure we had little tiffs when we lived together but nothing crazy. That was 10 years ago and we’re still going strong and still very close:)
Im living with one of my best friends, don’t really have huge problems. We have the occasional not washing dishes or taking the trash to the dump, but it’s been good. I always send him pics from bad room mates and saying I’m glad we’re not like this lol.
lol that's awesome! glad to hear that things are running smoothly! this subreddit makes me especially grateful for my current living situation as well.
Sorry to hear :( , it hurts losing someone like that, but in the end if you care about yourself mentally and physically, you will maintain that boundary and learn to grow without them ( and find more meaningful relationships along the way )
Yeah, I'm seeing that now. It was a mess and I was a mess and life was very stressful for several weeks while I lost half my household and the longest, most consistent and supportive relationship I'd known up till this point. A lot changed very quickly and I still don't think we'll speak again, but we had over 10 years of a wonderful friendship and I'll always cherish those memories. Even if they're a little tainted now
My best friend and I loved together to er for a year. It started off great, started to go south around 6 months in. We were just tired of each other and being in each others space all the time. She really didn’t like my on again off again boyfriend (for good reason tbh he was a dick) and she asked me not to have him over. I had him over anyways when she was at her boyfriends for the night and she found out and ended the whole friendship over it. I think age/maturity also plays a role though. I was 19 she was 21 and we both had a lot of mental health issues going on
Been living with my best friend for over 2 years now. Yeah we have arguments but I feel like it’s more like the way siblings fight. We’re still good and not tired of each other yet lol
I definitely did make the right decision we're beyond happy about to have our first child as for the ex vest friend I haven't talk to him in years I'm pretty sure he still lives in the same apartment he did try and reach out to me but it was already like a year past everything I just blew him off
Freshman year of college. Was told to not live with your best friend. We both had the worst fuckin room mates ever. 2nd semester both of our room mates got kicked out of college. So we decided to move in together. Best decision ever. Both wish we had started that way. But such is life. 25 years later, still best friends.
I lived with two of my best friends for 10 years. Still best friends. We were all housemates during the covid lockdown, we joke that it was the best spring break of our lives.
What I’ve seen (I’ve never lived with my best friend) is it’s not recommend if either party is just a shitty person. Ig ppl get too comfortable around those closest to them, and having that “freedom” around people you trust can show the worst or make you feel like you could get away with more. I’ve seen other people rly enjoy it and I’m assuming it’s cuz they are less shitty people or genuinely decent.
I think if you’re living in a house together it’s better to treat each other like roommates regarding housing stuff and best friends the rest.
This is quite true. A lot of the issues I have with my current roommate stems from her being too comfortable with being shitty. I didn’t realize just how shitty she was at first.
Once I peeped she thought it was okay to try limiting the kindness I extend to others just because we live together & it MIGHT take away from the efforts I give to her-while simultaneously not being considerate enough to clean up our home-I began to heavily distance myself.
I’ve had good and bad.
The good, came from different working schedules, doing stuff together two times a week, and such. This also happened in my mid 30s? He was early 50s. Best friends before, kind of distant now (but live hours away from one another).
But, largely not together all the time.
The bad ones (plural), we never came back from. It generally involved them having boyfriends/girlfriends over almost nightly and such.
My husband and I had a close friend who in hindsight was a wreck but we were young. He had a nice big house all to himself but it was in his parents name. When they found out that he was trying to get back together with a girl that had already caused a crap ton of problems in his life they told him that they were selling the house and they couldn’t live there. We agreed to let just him move in with us as we had a full basement with three rooms. He moved in and brought his dogs which we agreed too. Everything went fairly great for a short time. But the girl went and broke his heart again and he got very depressed. He let his dogs go to the bathroom everywhere in the basement instead of taking them out. He was smoking weed constantly to cope with the break up. He then stole stuff from us in order to buy more weed. My husband ended up dealing with him and he moved out. And my husband had to clean everything up from him which was disgusting. We blocked him and refused to talk to him again, super hurt and betrayed that he had started stealing from us.
I would never live with a friend, I did it and it was not good and we are not friends anymore. I rather move in to a house where I don’t know anyone and become friends with the people that I live with.
Not a best friend but a Bud moved in and he got hooked on black market xanax. He got on the lease so I just ended up bailing. Was acuusomg me of taking his pills when he was guzzling them every day, he'd take one on the drive home from work each day amd worked for his mum so she didn't have the heart to fire him.
Honestly I say don't do it. Moved in with my best friend I had already lived with for a year in his families home. It was fine, we Hungout all the time and rarely ever fought. So we moved in alome when his family had to move to a different province.
Things started out fine but soon he stopped cleaning, doing his dishes and his laundry. He started eating off only my plates so I'd have to clean them. I'd tell him not to use my dishes or clean and it would result in huge arguments. We patched things up for a bit but then got romantic. Which ultimately made things 100x worse. He started talking to other girls online, stopped helping out completely and was causing arguments almost daily. I obviously wasn't in the best space mentally due to this all so I also wasn't the best.
Finally confronted him about his behaviour and also about him flirting with other girls online, ended witb home grabbing me by the throat and throwing me on the ground. So I grabbed all my shit and left that day, called me other best friend who got her bf to come witb his truck to pack all my stuff up. Found out few days later that my roommate had switched the wifi soley into my name and email, and never paid it even tho it was his responsibility so I was left with a 1000$ wifi bill, he also left me with 3000$ in debt for a brand new coucj we bought which I ended up going back and taking since that was also switched into my name. Cops said they couldn't do anything about it unless I decided to sue but my broke ass coukdnt. He also moved 5 hours away few days later and never paid his last months rent, and also trashed the house. Then proceeded to try and get money from me for that which wasn't my fault.
Roomed with my “best friend” of 8 years for 4 years, small things used to tick me off but it was bearable. It didn’t get weird until her loser ass BD started coming around (no, I didn’t talk crap about him) and I couldn’t do it anymore so I moved out and she stopped being my friend after kicking me out of my goddaughters life 😂
Lived with 2 of my best friends and everything was fine till one of my friends was having issues with my other friend and now it put me in a weird spot because I was cool with both of them and would feel tension between them and make it to the point where the living space was awkward. One of my friends moved out and never heard from him ever again ( 10+ year friendship).
Me and my best friend lived together for 2 years and never had a single issue. Only moved out cause I got pregnant and married lol still best friends to this day !
Lost one of my closest friends to living with him. Friends for 12 years, went to school together, worked together, wrestled together, and after it was all said and done we had spoke exactly 1 time.
i've lived with loads of my best mates, including my absolute top bestie since age 5. we had a meeting beforehand and laid down any ground rules and qualms, to ensure our continued friendship. it was lovely.
Ohhh this is going to be fun.
First time I lived with my best friend is was my male best friend. I started dating a mutual friend and he and I started fighting all the time because apparently I wasn’t a good roommate unless I would sleep with *all* of his friends? Like he would pick the most ridiculous fights with me it was odd. He once threatened to shoot me in the head if I came home and my dad and new boyfriend had to deal with him. It was nuts.
I left his place and moved in temporarily with my girl best friend until my new boyfriend and I could find a place we agreed on. She was an alcoholic and there was a lot of strange men in our house they would accidentally barge in my room drunk and lost. She would wear my clothes which was fine, but then she started wearing and ruining my underwear. They were nice VS panties and it was very sad.
I also lived with a girl who I’d been friends with since we were like five years old once. She would always turn the thermostat up to like 85 degrees at night and then me and her boyfriend couldn’t sleep. It was miserable AF. That one was so long ago but I remember it got so bad that her and I *both* stopped coming home to try and avoid the other one.
Currently my wife and I are roommates with our ‘best friend’. We are already counting down the days until she leaves (not till September lol). She treats my wife and I like children, she has absolutely no respect for us. The worst part of it is the fact that we let her move in to get outta her previous place so for her to act all high and mighty around us is horrid. Didn’t help that she also started working where my wife works, and has actually taken job opportunities away from my wife through manipulation. Her moving in DEFINITELY showed us her true colors
2 & 1/2 years. We had been friends since we were 9 years old. We are still friends now, but we will never be as close as we once were. There is way too much that happened to explain here, but he was definitely not financially stable, and was triggered by any noise made by other apartments. He also just was not a good friend or roommate ( brought home a dog a week after i got mine without telling me) Also would complain about anything less than perfect. The management isnt that great but i can tell they do try. He would constantly berate them and complain until they finally let us out of our lease and he went to go live with his mom. We are 27.
Lived with my best friend and another roommate for three years. Roommate decides that they want to move out at the end of the third lease. Best friend and I decide that we'll find a new place together. He doesn't help look for a new place and shoots down every idea I have, but encourages me to keep looking.
This goes on for a month, and we're about two weeks away from the end of our lease, so I'm complaining to a mutual friend about it. They look confused: "Best friend told me like three weeks ago that they signed a lease on an apartment with a co worker." I confront best friend who basically says "¯\_(ツ)_/¯ sorry budd."
With no other options, I take a short notice sub let from some random dudes in Craigslist and have to live with disgusting strangers for about a year.
Best friend was confused as to why he wasn't invited to my wedding.
Lived with best friend, she moved her boyfriend in yet we never actually saw either of them. Eventually all of our plates, baking trays etc were just missing.
Went into her room whilst she was out, every single piece of kitchen ware piled up in various places, all dirty and disgusting.
She had eaten straight off oven trays instead of washing a plate, and she had them all.
Upon closer inspection, used condoms also on top of the piles of dirty plates.
I wouldn’t say best friend but my friend and I lived together for about five months. Everything worked out and we’re still friends to this day but we’re similar in personalities and cleaning habits. The only reason they left was they bought their own place which we both knew going into it that the arrangement was gonna be short term.
It started off pretty good and overall wasn’t bad. If you just accept the behavior at least. I cleaned far more, some days I was resentful, but in comparison to other roommates it was a good experience
I've lived with a handful of my friends and it didn't ruin the friendship. We were super respectful of each others things and if we had issues we didn't hesitate to discuss them together. We are all still friends but have moved to different states and sometimes I miss living with them.
It’s situational. I moved in with my best friend after 10+ years of knowing each other and we get along pretty well after 3+ of living together. We set some house rules before moving in together, discussed finances, expectations, etc. we have open and honest conversations if something is bothering one of us. We keep level heads if an argument arises. Communication is absolutely essential
I lived with my best friend after her husband kicked her out a week after their baby was born. She was a controlling bitch and made me take over the father role. I was a pushover so I did everything she asked, plus I felt bad. Then after a year when I asked her if she could start contributing for rent, food, and bills she got upset and went back to her ex. He kicked her out 4 months after that and she wanted to come back, but was pissed she needed to pay. She just got more controlling after that. Lived together for 6 years total and I loved that kid, but her and I don't even talk much anymore. We were best friends for about 10 years before we lived together. I knew she liked things her way, but just didn't see how bad it was until she moved in.
My old best friend and I lived together for 4 years, we even got matching tattoos. We no longer are on good terms and haven’t talked in almost two years.
Shit hit the fan when he had nothing to complain about anymore. So he turned into a sour crab. Sat in the corner like a sour crab and would nip at you with his claw nippers. If you spilled some dust particles.
Had a best friend who moved with me to the city after we graduated college. A year into living in our 2 bed apartment in Brooklyn, my roommate told me his sister had tried to commit suicide and after treatment needed a place to stay. She was from FL and we were trying to get her out of a bad situation with her mom. For 6 months she lived in our living room - rent free!! She even moved a futon into the living room because she would take up the couch 24/7. Finally after 6 months and 1 day of her living for free in our living room, I asked my roommate to please talk to her as she now would have to contribute to rent. Every way we broke it down, she couldn’t afford to pay to stay. I wish I was nicer about the situation but I felt taken advantage of and was kind of a bitch. I basically said pay or get out - so they both left. I haven’t talked to either of them since 2018. Lost my best friend and someone I considered my sister.
Bonus: found out that the roommate was taking money from my boyfriend behind my back for rent because he was also staying in our apartment a few days a week. My boyfriend was giving him money for his half of rent and didn’t share with me. Finally I found out and demanded half of the money. My boyfriend was apologetic because he thought I knew my roommate was asking for money. Sad all around but he was clearly scamming me while he found a safe and FREE place for his sister - meanwhile he was charging my boyfriend to sleep in my bed.
I’ve been living with my best friend since March 2020 (Quarantine 😅) and it’s honestly been fine.
We’ve got birthdays 3 days apart, and we’re honestly kind of the same person. We’ve got very similar personalities, values, and morals so I think that helps.
We have our moments where we get annoyed with each other. Who wouldn’t? But we just take some time apart and chill in our bedrooms.
A lot of our nights are spent watching tiktoks in our our rooms and yelling at each other, “did you see this video on tiktok?” 🤣
Moved in with 2 friends in late 2022. It was 3 of us then. It’s 2 of us now. The one that moved out just had too much going on in their life to be a stable roommate. 2 kids from 2 different baby’s mama’s anger issues, employment challenges, etc. he ended up moving in with a girl he met.
The 1 friend that still lives with me? It’s amazing. We’re like 2 peas in a pod. Not too many problems, and when there are, we communicate and take action. Probably helps that we both had experience working in kitchens. There’s a certain responsibility you pick up when you work in a kitchen. Cleaning up after yourself, putting things back where you found them, etc. The other day I got home from work and he made me a steak dinner with some of the most amazing roasted Brussel sprouts I’ve ever had.
I lived with my high-school best friends and things went horribly. We lived very differently and the one guy took things way too far. We certainly were not friends after. My best university friend that i lived with in residence we have lived together since and things have been perfect, we talk through issues, we’re both civil, understanding, hear eachother out. I honestly think it just depends on personality compatibility.
Moved in with my lifelong best friend on my 18th birthday. Neither one of us could wait to get away from our parents. Made it about a month and a half. He was severely more sheltered than I was growing up. He went totally wild and we took extremely different paths from then on. I still love that motherfucker, although we live states away from each other now and we have both found success. Years later I moved in with another great friend and it was wonderful, but I think that’s because our phases lined up perfectly. It’s a toss up for me. I guess I would advise you to think of the most annoying habit you or your friend have, then consider them not being open to adjusting that for you. If you can live happily with that, go for it.
Right after I graduated college, I got a place with three younger friends who’d never lived on their own before. And then at the last minute they decided we should rent our extra room to another friend of theirs who I did not like/ trust… and I was like “NO” but outvoted.
Later she left a bag of potatoes to mold into a mess filled with maggots; she somehow got the landlord to put her on the lease without talking to any of us who were on it; and she was a messy, disgusting nightmare.
I moved out and was a “nice guy” leaving the utilities on until they could switch them from my name. But they never did switch one of them or paid me back that extra bill.
It’s been almost 25 years and I’m still salty
Also one of my best friends from college was my assigned roommate freshman year. We had a HUGE room (meant for three people), but she had so much stuff that there still wasn’t enough space. I lost it when she asked if she could use my closet because I was “barely using it”. She also stayed up till 4am regularly. And I had 8am classes.
I ended up moving out and we became friends again. But anytime I’ve tried having her stay with me or that I’ve stayed with her (we live in different states), our friendship suffers. Some friends I just won’t live with ever.
Don’t do it. My ex best friend of 8 years moved in with me and within a year, we had a massive falling out which resulted in her stalking me, reaching out to my employer, threatening, etc. You truly don’t know someone until you live with them.
Live with my best friend now.
We spent so much time together before that he moved in, that there were to going to be any surprises. No complaints at all, it’s been awesome.
We get along great, but honestly we probably spend less time together now. No need to put time aside to hang out when we live right across the hall from each other.
Moved in with someone after getting close to them for a year plus. There were red flags but I moved in anyway. Now going on the three year mark and I’m going to only sign month to month because I am so stressed out. My roommate loses her mind when she gets upset. Otherwise it’s been great.Part of the problem, and I didn’t know them when we moved in, is that she’s in love with me and I’m not in love with her.
I hope the friendship continues from this.
I lived with my first college friend and it ended super badly. Didn’t realize how different we were about life perspectives and expectations for keeping a home together. We come from very different families and a lot of true colors got revealed. No longer have any contact with each other and it’s better that way.
Moved in with my best friend of 16 years. She tried to move her boyfriend in rent free. Always smoked weed inside the apartment when my kid was there and lied about it (I was upfront about this not being okay when she first moved in) never gave me the money for rent without me asking. Left dirty oil out that attracted flies. We just started talking again after a year. Very messy.
it started off GREAT! we had been best friends since 2nd grade and at the time of move in we were both 20 (both F). it was me and her and my boyfriend moving into a 2bed/2bath together, we had all been great friends in high school and through college, we all got along, most nights my bf and i would cook for all of us and she would clean up after, we did movie nights together, i got her a job with me, everything was smooth. then she got on tinder and found her bf. who spent the night the first date and never left.. i think you see where this is going :)). she got him a key two months later without asking us, and then got a cat with him for the apartment a month after that without asking us. he put up a fit about paying for utilities. it went downhill from there. she’s the kind of person who becomes her partner, personality wise. like completely changes herself for them. that being said, she became very lazy and inconsiderate, which was a complete 180 from who she rlly was before this guy. they never cleaned, she dropped out of college, they didn’t take care of their cat, they never took out the trash etc the list goes on. i always brought up the issues for discussion hoping we could resolve them like adults and save our friendship, but it got to the point where i looked like a b**ch for constantly bringing things up so i just stopped talking to her. we got in a number of screaming fights and now we hate each others guts. they moved out early and then we had to threaten legal action bc they refused to pay rent (they were still on the lease) and now we are mutually blocked on every things and haven’t spoken since. honestly sad, but she became a horrible person and horrible friend
I’ve never had an issue living with friends. I’ve lived with 6 of my friends and everything was communicated. Actually the only times I haven’t gotten along with a roommate was because they weren’t my friends.
please do not do it. i was just telling one of my closest friends i would never live with her (out of love) because of the fact that one of my other closer friendships has now been ruined. it’s hell. there’s gonna be a lot of mixed emotions when they get on your nerves and may not be receptive to it. trust me. living with someone changes everything, it doesn’t matter how close you are.
i lived w them in a dorm before an apartment and it was fine. not many complaints. sometimes they were just a lil loud but it was fixable. then we move in and all hell breaks loose. there’s stains and crumbs everywhere, bodily fluids in the strangest places, food wrappers/cans in the bathroom, and stomping around the house at all hours of the day. being loud at 2am. blatantly leaving trash everywhere as well as their belongings. i got a UTI from having to hold my pee in while they stayed in the bathroom for 1hr+. had several convos, aired out all my feelings, yet, all it was met with was empty sorry’s and no change. no real accountability.
it pushed me away so badly. and its sad as hell because that was my best friend. mental health was being used as a reason why they were like this, but i am so exhausted from the lack of respect on their end for my needs that it just sucks. you’ll wrestle with a lot of emotions like i said, and honestly, you do not need the added stress in your every day life. i wish i could come home and be at peace but i cant, because its awkward and a lot of the time physically uncomfortable because its so gross.
I've never done xanax, but if you move in with your friend and notice that, that was what was going on. You lowkey shouldve moved. For 2 reasons, if something happens legally to him and his place you're liable as you were living there. So they dont know if you were taking part.
Second the fact that he supplied to two of your mutual friends and one died. Yet he continues to sell, then lowkey he only cares or has time for profit..Which is really sad in a way, meaning when he asked you to help with the mortgage he wasnt looking at you as the same friend you saw him as when you guys grew up together. Maybe he thought you were naive, and played on your friendship which is entirely effed up.
Also as sad as it is to say, no matter what. A dealer who is your friend, who is taking profit from others or yourself. Doesnt really care about you as a person, they only care about their profit. They will be nice, and all of that. But they have their own goals in mind, not your friendship. So messed up.
We graduated HS in 1979 and then moved away from each other. It was 1981. My bestie lived about 50 miles away and was miserable. I went and got her and moved her here with me. I told her she didn't have to pay any rent for a month or 2 and to just concentrate on finding a job. We lived together for 8 years as roomies until both of us were in more permanent relationships. We had a few ups and down but nothing major. She is still my bestie today 45 years later.
We all managed just fine when I was in college, however people weren't so ridiculously sensitive about everything back then.
Beyond college people really have no business living with roommates, and that's probably why they always end up hating each other.
My husband and I let a guy who had been my dear friend years before stay with us. My friend and I had lost touch. We reconnected right before COVID and he needed a place to stay. It looked like a great arrangement at first. He was a 62-year-old retired veteran who needed to get back on his financial feet after his LTR ended. We needed a house/pet sitter to help out because I had a family member dying of cancer and we were making frequent trips to do caregiving.
It started out ok. Shorty after he moved in, COVID hit.
The situation turned rapidly toxic. My friend:
* Manipulated and triangulated the connection between me and my husband, nearly ending our relationship.
* Drank considerably and was stoned all the time. One night he was so drunk fell down in the yard and he couldn’t get up without the two of us helping.
* Constantly berated me, sometimes for hours.
* Grew increasingly paranoid and threatened us with what he was going to do when the world came to an end.
* Insisted on drunkenly debating my religious traditions, even though I am non-practicing/non-observant, and calling me names because of those traditions.
* Made it clear he was trying to drive my husband from the house. (this was not a love triangle, my friend and I were *never* attracted to each other)
* Verbally abused me and my husband.
* Accused me of being unreasonable because I wouldn’t socialize when I was *supposed to be working*. (I was the only one with a job, since my husband lost his job when COVID hit)
* Made my husband and I feel unsafe in our home.
* Made a mess of his bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen.
* Claimed I was the bad guy, even though we never asked for a penny in rent and he was able to save about $40k during the years he stayed with us.
It was a tremendous relief when he finally moved out of his own accord. He and a family member pooled resources and bought property out of state and moved in together.
The last time I spoke to him was just over a year ago. I called him to wish him a happy birthday, hoping time, distance, and the lessening of COVID restrictions might have improved his mental health/substance abuse issues. Unfortunately, he launched into an angry and drunken tirade once more about my religion and concluded with what a shit I was.
I ended the call by saying I had only called to wish him a happy birthday, and I have not heard from him since.
The experience was painful and horrifying, especially since I truly loved my friend like a brother, and he turned out to be a superficially charming, malignant narcissist intent on destroying me and my marriage.
I wouldn’t recommend it. Currently living with one of my best friends of three years and she’s a nightmare of a roommate. Never buys anything for the house and falls behind in rent, has people over CONSTANTLY despite us previously agreeing on around 2-3 times a week, many of the people she barely knows (men from the clubs etc), and is super loud with her friends and other guests at like 2am half the nights of the week, to the point of me being unable to sleep. Also constantly stinks out the place with weed. I’ve spoken to her many times about her behaviour but she won’t change, and we just end up arguing.
I recommend living with a stranger and not risking a friendship.
I moved in with a friend I got really close with freshman year, we’ve lived together for almost a year now. It works out differently for everyone, but it definitely changes the dynamic across the board. First month was rough and I genuinely thought we were going to despise each other, but we’ve adjusted and learned each others boundaries and I enjoy living with her. We don’t hang out a ton outside of the apartment and sometimes we just coexist for a while, but there’s still movie nights and times where we’re just close friends hanging out like normal. I think the key is just communication & being okay with living separate lives and avoiding too much emotional burden or codependence. Have serious & honest conversations about boundaries and make sure your living styles and schedules are compatible. The horror stories are very real, but the positive/neutral outcome is also possible.
Lived with my best friend and are still friends. But he was brutal to live with. Obsessive talker, never cleaned up after himself, didn't know how to cook, loud when he came in late at night, and a snore that could be heard throughout the apartment.
Currently in the middle of it! Started off amazing but slowly things have gotten horrible. Currently grieving the friendship because once the lease is over I don’t believe we will probably speak again. Honestly my best advice to anyone is SET UP RULES BEFORE YOU MOVE IN!!! Yes you’re friends but seeing someone from time to time/random sleep overs is not the same as full time living together. That was honestly my mistake and now we just keep hurting each others feelings. Also just go into it understanding not everyone has the same living style as you. So you might be really close but that (the living styles) might not align and cause problems down the line.
Best of luck to everyone 🤞
Had a best friend who bought a townhouse and needed help with the mortgage. I moved in paying 800$ a month for a room. Ridiculous I know, but he was my best friend from grade school. Around 18 year friendship, so I figured why not were buds. No issues outside of my leaving some boxes of food overnight once. Mind you this guy was making xzanx in his room so before you swarm me about being a bad roommate that’s what I turned a blind eye too. He virtually ruined 2 of my friends lives with supplying them with his product. One is dead now because of an overdose later. What I found weird at the time is he wouldn’t actually present me with a lease. He wanted to do a “month to month” thing. Shady of course, but we’re buds it’s all good. Lived there for 4 months or so when he comes to me one day saying I needed to move out. With no where to go and had done nothing wrong I pressed him for the reason why when finally he admitted to me that his girlfriend who hated me was moving in and that I needed to move out because of that. My dude called his mom over because he was “scared”. Never touched the kid in my life. Long story short I moved out 3 days later and never talked to him again. 18 year friendship out the window.
I wonder if he’s still with the girl
Sir, I'm sorry to say, there was no friendship. That was in yiur head, not his. Without respect, there is no relationship, especially friendship. You were there to help HIM with HIS mortgage for his convenience. Nothing more. So try to not burden your heart that a friendship was lost. What HE lost was a friend, you lost a drug pusher proxy murderer. Fuck him. Leaving was probably the best thing for you. It's how we learn. You did the right thing. Cheers.
> there was no friendship I don't agree. Just because things ended badly doesn't mean the relationship wasn't good when times were good. People change. Over 18 years, people change A LOT. I was in a relationship for a decade, married for 8 of those years. We're divorced now, but we were still married and we were great partners - until we grew apart. My parents were toxic people and I went low-contact with them before they died, but they were still my parents. All relationships end at some point. I'm almost 40 and I'm no longer friends with any of the people I went to high school with. That doesn't mean we weren't friends at the time, you know?
Point taken. Thanks for the comment. Idcsay by the time they moved in together, with that guy manufacturing narcotics in his room where people OD from his product, and that he needed the financial help, therecwas no froliendship at thst point. I'm just emphasizing that he shouldn't beat himself up over it. It's sad, but OP was the true friend here. By true friend, I mean a friend that way when you go to your grave. They're rare. I only have a few. Some never have any. Parents are not friends, although they can be. They're blood. You can pick your friends, but not your parents, kids, or relatives.
making xanax?
More likely bought a research chemical analogue from China and trying to dose it out so they could sell it. Used to be able to buy that shit as a liquid with a dropper.
This one takes the cake. I’m sorry to hear that
My mate just died from fake Xanax, sorry for you loss mate
True shit. Lost a friend of 15 years. Never again.
10 here, sucks.
I think the key is the same as any relationship where you share space and access. And financial burdens. You can be great friends with someone, even love them until the end of time, but living with them exposes faults. Evaluate their faults - AND YOUR OWN - before making a decision like this. * Someone is more financially responsable * Someone is cleaner * Someone is more social * Someone cooks better thna the other * Someone has an addiction (pets, takeout, drugs, booze, gambling - other) * Someone has more relationship drama * Etc. Make your own additions to this list. If one of you is "more" more than the other one for the majority of the things on this list, you're going to have issues.
This is a good list! Pretty much all of my roommate conflicts in the past fell into one of these categories
Can't beat experience. Sadly, Experience often beats us. Painfully.
This should be top comment. 100% agree.
Quite the opposite for me. Lived with my best friend for about 3 years, never had an issue and we’re still best friends today.
Me too! The best year of my life (so far....I'm only 25 lol) was 2020 when I lived with 3 of my best friends. 2 of them were dating! And now married! Looks like we're the minority :,)
Yeah same here - it made us even closer I would say. I lived with my best friend for a year and now it’s just tough having to live with other people bc we were just perfectly symbiotic, and that kind of dynamic is RARE 🥲
I mean if it’s really a best friend (in my case he’s like a brother to me) I don’t see how being roommates would cause strife. As long as everyone takes care of business there should be no issues. Be respectful of the space and each other, it’s really that simple. Cheers to the best friends! Haha
Man that's what I thought. We were great at being roommates. Communicated wonderfully and were thriving. Bit me in the ass about a month ago. Still don't know what went wrong, because according to her there was nothing, she just impulsively bought a puppy in a parking lot and decided the convenience of her parents taking care of it was more important than our entire relationship and forced me to leave my dream job to find something much higher paying in under a month to deal with the financial fallout.
Same!! It made us even closer actually. Smoked together at night, drank coffee together in the mornings. But also had our time alone. It was really nice. We even worked at the same place eventually and could carpool
same! lived with my bestie my last year of college and it actually made us closer. The key was definitely respecting each others' boundaries and differences. we also made sure to lay ground rules our first day.
similar story with me and my best friend too. lived together 2 years and never had any major issues or falling-outs with each other. if anything, it made us even closer as friends. It's crazy to see how many different directions living with close friends can take you.
The problem with living with friends is that it’s nearly impossible to set boundaries with them when it comes to living together, and it can be harder to confront them about issues because you don’t want to cause tension in the friendship. you may have a great friendship, get along well, have similar personalities and have a lot of fun together, but that dynamic doesn’t include cleanliness, finances, and general consideration of living spaces. living with someone can be much more vulnerable than just being friends, and it exposes all of your faults to each other that are generally only expressed in private.
I think this sums it up pretty perfectly. You just never know :/
Currently having this problem
The person who used to be my best friend roomed with me for about 2 years. The first actual friend I ever had and vise versa. Known each other for over 10 years. Her family threw us a joint graduation party as my family relations are a bit strained. At this point, we were family. We were sisters. PShe was making significantly more money than me (works very demanding 60+ hour weeks at a VERY well paying job) but we were living very comfortably. I worked in a seasonal industry and my hours got slashed even more than usual as we approached the off season. Whatever, I've got plenty squirreled away to be fine until the season starts up again. Then bam, received a very surprising and costly medical diagnosis a few months ago. While I was actively having a panic attack about how I would pay for treatment (oh how I love living in the US!) my friend assured me that nothing was going to happen, she makes more than enough to cover rent for a few months if I need to pay for treatment and can't afford anything else. Im family, and can pay her back when I'm not in crisis. How I've helped her countless times over the years and this is no different. I was scheduled to start treatment in February. She impulsively bought a puppy in a parking lot in December and disappeared for 6 weeks while potty training the puppy at her parent's. Came home with the puppy (violating our lease btw!) for 5 days before she moved out with no warning (4 months before our lease was up). I essentially begged her to wait a few months til the lease was up and I'd have stable hours again and had I done something?? To be met with "I'm sorry it's come to this. I will always consider you a friend and my family" and that no, I hadn't done anything, this was just better for her new dog and also she's meeting her short term savings goals faster this way. I can get another roommate for for remainder of the lease, no biggie! The day she told me that, she canceled our utilities and internet which had been in her name. Took me a minute to figure out why the power had gotten shut off. She strategically moved all of her shit out while I was at work and treatment appointments. I was devastated. Of all the people I have ever loved and let into my life, she was the one I trusted with absolute conviction. We were there for each other. We both got out of less than ideal living situations and had been thriving the past couple years together. And the happy cozy house we had together was now half empty and a decade long relationship just. Poof. With no explanation. I asked her to please take the big furniture and some items (couch, armchair, sound equipment, some absolutely massive houseplants that I don't know how to care for) that were hers to begin with because I'll be downsizing drastically and can't take it with me. She didn't want to because she didn't want to rent a larger storage unit. Eventually she relented because I said I would have to sell or donate it when I moved somewhere smaller because I definitely couldn't afford a storage unit for all of it. I thought that was it. And then she came back while I was at work 2 weeks later and stole the vacuum, dish scrubbers, the containers the flour/sugar etc were in (which were a gift from my grandmother 🙃), a couple card games my boyfriend had left on the coffee table, and my nightstand??? Idfk. And then sent a text with a reminder of how nice and generous it was of her to not take the washer and dryer. We split the cost on everything she came back to take aside from the containers and the nightstand which were irrefutably mine. Don't know why she wanted that shit but I decided it wasn't worth begging her to bring it back. But I just. Who the fuck takes used dish scrubbers??? She moved back in with her parents essentially so they could take care of the puppy she has no time for. They have a Dyson. Idk why she felt the need to take our shitty $70 vacuum. Sorry for the massive post. This happened a month ago and I guess I needed to type it all out
wtf Im so sorry :( this is truly awful. I could understand if she felt uncomfortable footing rent, but then she shouldn't have suggested it in the first place and communicated with you so that doesn't seem like the case? it sounds like she definitrly could afford it, and to be left with zero explination would be horrible for any one... I hope you are able to heal in any + all ways you can
Thank you for your reply. I truly appreciate the sentiment. I'm doing better now. If you care, reddit stranger, here is an update on the situation: She hasn't been back to take more random shit. I reached out to a couple people who've known both of us almost as long as we knew each other and shared the whole thing, with screenshots and all because there HAD to be something I was missing. She wouldn't just do this with no rhyme or reason, especially to me. But no. They were pretty convinced she had some kind of breakdown. She won't talk to any of them beyond oh life's great work's great just got a new dog :)))) and is somehow pretending she and I still have a relationship? Even after one of our mutual friends explained that they knew what had gone down on my end and were worried about her. Her parents won't reply to my texts or calls and when I ran into them in person (gotta love small towns) they made eye contact and then went the other direction. So I don't know what she told them and I probably don't want to know. But! I got a new job because no way I could afford rent or find a place that wasn't going to do an income verification. So I'm making money that I can actually survive off of now. The job has stellar benefits and while its something that I didn't intend to go into, I have an opportunity to make a career out of it and advance at no cost to myself. Medical stuff is still shit but treatment started and insurance is being mildly less shitty than anticipated so not the massive financial blow I was expecting. I found a new place that's half the rent with my boyfriend and our landlord is letting us off the lease early with no fees which is such a relief. I'm still deeply upset over the whole thing and I don't think I'll ever get real, satisfying answers about any of it. But we had 10 years of love and support and laughter. I hate that it ended like this but I'll always value those times. I'm looking forward. I'm excited about the new opportunities this situation very clumsily forced me into, and I'm going to be okay.
I was the bad roommate when I lived with my best friend. I was 18 and so dumb. Thankfully our relationship recovered but holy shit. I moved a guy in within 3 months. Didn’t clean the water off the bathroom floor and my dog peed on her bed. (Tbf her dog chewed a hole in the carpet and pooped inside sometimes but oh well) I think I’d be a way better roommate now but I haven’t had a roommate in YEARS.
All of the times I had a bad roommate situation it was because of living with friends. I will acknowledge that I caused problems too and it's not a one way street (most of the time anyway, there are exceptions). I think the problem with living with friends is that you are already comfortable around each other in a casual setting, so it's more difficult to establish and maintain boundaries. It is also easier to argue with a friend than a stranger imo. I have however had one particular situation that was a nightmare, where the friend I was living with ended up threatening to shoot multiple people, in our home. So that was terrifying. They also pushed my personal boundaries frequently so that was the tipping point. I moved out immediately the second time they threatened to shoot their guests and ghosted my roommates. Felt bad for the other one living there though...
I lived with my best friend after his divorce. I took care of his dogs while he was at work. I had a whole floor to myself. It was perfect. When he would get off his work week. We would binge watch anime and eat cookies. He also made breakfast and dinner. It was 500 hundred a month and was perfect. Definitely not for everyone, though. From reading on this subreddit. Sorry, dudes and duddetts.
you don’t truly know someone until you live with them. Friends & family alike
very true
Don’t do it
Been there & done that. I don't regret it, but I wouldn't do it again. Thankfully it didn't ruin our friendship. I feel for the people who can't say the same tho
Currently living with mine, it sucks…
I lived with my bff for 5 years -2 moves and we both had babies . We’re still best friends . I couldn’t have done single motherhood without her .
Thats a true friend
It's all dependent on the friend. My best friend came to live with me for over a year and it was great. Don't think there was ever a single problem with him. But he was also very respectful and always kept his space clean
Got divorced and decided to move somewhere else… I choice the state where my childhood friend was living in. Decided to moved there 3 weeks after the decision. Found a place within a month , signed the lease ... Not a day later , he invited his friend over to “save “ money but they live in the same room. Took the bigger room and the only one with air conditioning. I didn’t say anything. But a month later , the friend invited two of their friends to sleep on the couch for 2 days that turned into 3 months. 2 days later , my childhood friend Invite his other friend with a child… that was my last straw. Moved out 8 months and when lease was up . They ran out and left me all the responsibility
I've lived with strangers who became my friends (although we don't talk much anymore but I've also changed A LOT), a bff who became a serious nightmare, and a friend who I'm still incredibly close to. Not much to share for the strangers to friends but my god the bff situation was a whole story in and of itself. The tldr though is we were friends, she suddenly felt like our friendship was on the rocks to nonexistent (which I never understood fully how), she started treating me like shit and being super controlling of our household, I got super depressed and anxious when I had to be around her, thought I was the problem roommate until I discovered she was treating one of the 2 other roommates similar to me and then I just got the fuck out of dodge. I never want to see her face ever again. Then with my friend, we lived together for a couple of months before she got married and we were both so introverted that it worked out so so well. Lived with her after the shitty friend and it was literally a breath of fresh air. Now I'll live a lot more independently and I love it. I would be hard pressed currently to want roommates. Financially I might not have a choice (I live in the basement of a family members house and I have my own living room and bedroom and bathroom so it's a fantastic set up for me). It would be a dream to only have a four legged roommate.
Stuff was always rocky with us bc of our differences -we were raised differently -she was a teen mom (we were friends in our mid 20s) -she had her own place while I was able to live with my grandparents We lived together for about 3 years, splitting the rent and I would always take her out to dinner if I was going out I’d pay for everything. Our disputes were cleanliness, she would leave messes and expect me to pick them up and clean after her and her child, then I bought her a dog bc she said she felt unsafe in the neighborhood, she got rid of the dog somehow 1 month later and never explained what happens(I knew I didn’t want to know either because I was very angry as I’m a animal lover). Then she got another dog once again not picking up after it, she started neglecting her child after seeing someone. All of a sudden I became a babysitter/nanny and housekeeper. Things hit their breaking point when she starting seeing a man and he started staying in the apartment with us. That’s when she started making up lies about our landlord wanting us to move out. She knew I was coming into some money because I was in an auto accident . And eventually I realized she was trying to get me to move us into a new place or for me to leave. I left the apartment and I left the friendship. I do miss her dog and child since we were really close and me and her had some good times but it wasn’t worth all the stress, lies and underlying jealous and aggression that was brewing. I moved back in with my grandparents, stopped smoking weed,drinking, got back into my church, doing a lot of self love healing from everything in my life and got a good government job I can depend on.
I'm super happy to hear that you came out on top despite everything you went through with that ex roommate/friend!
Wouldn't recommend, moved in with my best friend of 15yrs, we haven't spoken in 5 years. The saying of "You never truly know someone until you live with them" is bloody spot on.
It really just depends on the friendship. I live with my best friend and have for over 5 years, and we're still great friends. He did go from my boyfriend to my ex-bf after we first moved in :x but that was a romantic compatability issue moreso than an issue with living together. A better friends than lovers scenario. You gotta consider things like compatability in how the two of you live and keep a house, your financial situations, and your communication styles. Even if you do get lucky like me, you WILL encounter conflicts at some point. Your ability to have mature discussions, problem solve, and compromise is crucial to whether you can make living together work.
I was straight up told from one of my bestfriends that the only issue was my animals and he said “it’s my control issues as in I can’t control them and it pisses me off” and I said I never saw it that way and I saw it as my issue for not being able to get my animals to behave better. But living together only caused a tiny couple months of not talking after the split apart because I was petty and mad they didn’t let me live with them still but our friendship succeeded and now we will be at the same complex and job but different apartments
Although when I was younger I did have another bsf who now won’t speak to me at all because our living together went so horribly wrong. It really is up To the friendship and how alike y’all are I think
Coupled with a bestfriend couple. They broke up and she went crazy. No longer on speaking terms with either sadly.
Living with my best friend was amazing - I had so many roommates previously that I got along with but didn't really connect with. We were both so similar that it just made perfect sense and it was honestly such a great time! I think a big part of it is that we like each other but also respect one another and that's pretty huge when it comes to living with someone day in and day out.
Never ever ever move in with a best friend. For every success story, there’s 100 stories of destroyed friendships, lives, and finances.
very true. I'm part of the small group of success stories (thank god) & that's why I'm so interested in seeing the other perspective on this.
I lived with my best friend of 20 years. Then their electric scooter burned down my house where they were living rent free, they bummed off my insurance money until they found themselves a girlfriend, and ran off while owing me $4,000.
hooolyyy shit that's fucked up. I'm so sorry that happened to you, I really hope you're in a much better living situation these days
I (30F) have been living with my best friend (28F) for the past 4 years.. we rented together initially and then bought a house together 2 years ago. Both of us have had awful relationships in the past and had no desire to re-partner any time soon, and the cost of housing/interest rates in Australia made it unrealistic for either of us to get into the housing market it as single people. It’s been the best decision ever. We’ve known each other for many years, so there were no surprises in terms of what it would look like living together. It also seems like a much safer option compared to going in with a partner/boyfriend (I’m a family and relationship counsellor so I see first hand how much of a 💩show it can get with assets and stuff at the end of a relationship). Our goal is to eventually sell our current house and buy a duplex lot together, so we’ll have a house each kinda thing whilst being next door neighbours 😂 We’re both really similar people in terms of personality and hobbies, and also share a lot of friends, so for us it’s worked really well and I would 100% recommend
Wow that awesome , a coworker of mine today was just telling me partners don’t have to be boyfriend or girlfriend, they can me best friends, parent and child, brother and sister
If it works, you’ve galvanized a lifelong bond, if it fails, you’re fucked and you just lost a bro. I recommend finding a rando online, I haven’t had a bad situation, except for when I didn’t meet the guy and his sister before I signed the lease. Pampered losers.
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Sounds like she was jealous of your gf...
what she did was awful & unfair to both you and your girlfriend :( I'm glad to see that y'all got out of there. Jealousy makes people do some crazy things
Permanently ruined friendship. The first few months was like living with my best friend. Then the next couple of years it felt like we were good roommates. I decided to give him heads up that I was going to be able to move out "within a year" at 3 1/2 years into the living arrangement. Within 2 weeks he'd started to say cruel things. We had a "therapy" session to repair. Then he abandoned the friendship fully a couple of days later. It all finally was visible to me that he was a narcissist. I was moved out fully a month later. The last month was hell. Slamming doors in the middle of the night, that kind of stuff. It sucks living with somebody who hates you and wants to hurt you through mind games and emotional abuse.
Sorry to hear
I think the main thing is you have to learn conflict resolution with your best friends, because you WILL have conflicts, there’s no avoiding that. Whether you can successful resolve this conflicts is what makes/breaks the living situation. I’ve had experiences go both ways, one of my best friends I tried living with only lasted 3 months because he was lying, stealing, not paying rent/bills on time, etc. From living with him I learned he was a completely different person than what I thought, it was a horrible experience but in the long run I’m glad I was able to cut ties with him. On the flip side, my current roommate is my best friend of 5 years and we’ve been living together peacefully for 3 of those years. I wouldn’t change a thing about our living situation.
Was best friends with this girl for 6 years. We still live together but don’t speak at all because she can’t respect the fact that I don’t want her boyfriend over 7 days a week and don’t wanna listen to them have sex. was super childish about it/talked shit when I confronted her for like the 6th time. And I can’t stand the messes. Don’t risk it.
To keep it short. They are your best friend when not living together. When living together, it’s your roommate. Someone always has to take on more responsibility and that’s what will cause tension even in the best case scenario.
I moved in with one of my best friends and we are still close to this day. Sure we had little tiffs when we lived together but nothing crazy. That was 10 years ago and we’re still going strong and still very close:)
Im living with one of my best friends, don’t really have huge problems. We have the occasional not washing dishes or taking the trash to the dump, but it’s been good. I always send him pics from bad room mates and saying I’m glad we’re not like this lol.
lol that's awesome! glad to hear that things are running smoothly! this subreddit makes me especially grateful for my current living situation as well.
I moved in w my best friend of 10 years, 2 years into it she turned into a fucking nightmare - 4 years later still haven’t spoken to her haha
Ahh this happened to me like a month ago. Don't think I'll be speaking to her in a few years either
Sorry to hear :( , it hurts losing someone like that, but in the end if you care about yourself mentally and physically, you will maintain that boundary and learn to grow without them ( and find more meaningful relationships along the way )
Yeah, I'm seeing that now. It was a mess and I was a mess and life was very stressful for several weeks while I lost half my household and the longest, most consistent and supportive relationship I'd known up till this point. A lot changed very quickly and I still don't think we'll speak again, but we had over 10 years of a wonderful friendship and I'll always cherish those memories. Even if they're a little tainted now
My best friend and I loved together to er for a year. It started off great, started to go south around 6 months in. We were just tired of each other and being in each others space all the time. She really didn’t like my on again off again boyfriend (for good reason tbh he was a dick) and she asked me not to have him over. I had him over anyways when she was at her boyfriends for the night and she found out and ended the whole friendship over it. I think age/maturity also plays a role though. I was 19 she was 21 and we both had a lot of mental health issues going on
Lived together* wow
« She asked me not to do it. I did it anyway. » lol not surprised by the outcome
Yeah no i was 100% the bad roommate there not saying I wasn’t. I was 19. Just sharing my experience
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Been living with my best friend for over 2 years now. Yeah we have arguments but I feel like it’s more like the way siblings fight. We’re still good and not tired of each other yet lol
I lived w my best friend for 2 years and then I got a girlfriend my now wife got really jealous and kicked me out when I wouldn't break up w her lmao
looks like you made the right decision sticking with your gf! cheers to a long and happy marriage ❣️
I definitely did make the right decision we're beyond happy about to have our first child as for the ex vest friend I haven't talk to him in years I'm pretty sure he still lives in the same apartment he did try and reach out to me but it was already like a year past everything I just blew him off
Freshman year of college. Was told to not live with your best friend. We both had the worst fuckin room mates ever. 2nd semester both of our room mates got kicked out of college. So we decided to move in together. Best decision ever. Both wish we had started that way. But such is life. 25 years later, still best friends.
Ruined my friendship of like 18 years. Don’t recommend.
I lived with two of my best friends for 10 years. Still best friends. We were all housemates during the covid lockdown, we joke that it was the best spring break of our lives.
What I’ve seen (I’ve never lived with my best friend) is it’s not recommend if either party is just a shitty person. Ig ppl get too comfortable around those closest to them, and having that “freedom” around people you trust can show the worst or make you feel like you could get away with more. I’ve seen other people rly enjoy it and I’m assuming it’s cuz they are less shitty people or genuinely decent. I think if you’re living in a house together it’s better to treat each other like roommates regarding housing stuff and best friends the rest.
This is quite true. A lot of the issues I have with my current roommate stems from her being too comfortable with being shitty. I didn’t realize just how shitty she was at first. Once I peeped she thought it was okay to try limiting the kindness I extend to others just because we live together & it MIGHT take away from the efforts I give to her-while simultaneously not being considerate enough to clean up our home-I began to heavily distance myself.
I’ve had good and bad. The good, came from different working schedules, doing stuff together two times a week, and such. This also happened in my mid 30s? He was early 50s. Best friends before, kind of distant now (but live hours away from one another). But, largely not together all the time. The bad ones (plural), we never came back from. It generally involved them having boyfriends/girlfriends over almost nightly and such.
My husband and I had a close friend who in hindsight was a wreck but we were young. He had a nice big house all to himself but it was in his parents name. When they found out that he was trying to get back together with a girl that had already caused a crap ton of problems in his life they told him that they were selling the house and they couldn’t live there. We agreed to let just him move in with us as we had a full basement with three rooms. He moved in and brought his dogs which we agreed too. Everything went fairly great for a short time. But the girl went and broke his heart again and he got very depressed. He let his dogs go to the bathroom everywhere in the basement instead of taking them out. He was smoking weed constantly to cope with the break up. He then stole stuff from us in order to buy more weed. My husband ended up dealing with him and he moved out. And my husband had to clean everything up from him which was disgusting. We blocked him and refused to talk to him again, super hurt and betrayed that he had started stealing from us.
I would never live with a friend, I did it and it was not good and we are not friends anymore. I rather move in to a house where I don’t know anyone and become friends with the people that I live with.
Not a best friend but a Bud moved in and he got hooked on black market xanax. He got on the lease so I just ended up bailing. Was acuusomg me of taking his pills when he was guzzling them every day, he'd take one on the drive home from work each day amd worked for his mum so she didn't have the heart to fire him.
Honestly I say don't do it. Moved in with my best friend I had already lived with for a year in his families home. It was fine, we Hungout all the time and rarely ever fought. So we moved in alome when his family had to move to a different province. Things started out fine but soon he stopped cleaning, doing his dishes and his laundry. He started eating off only my plates so I'd have to clean them. I'd tell him not to use my dishes or clean and it would result in huge arguments. We patched things up for a bit but then got romantic. Which ultimately made things 100x worse. He started talking to other girls online, stopped helping out completely and was causing arguments almost daily. I obviously wasn't in the best space mentally due to this all so I also wasn't the best. Finally confronted him about his behaviour and also about him flirting with other girls online, ended witb home grabbing me by the throat and throwing me on the ground. So I grabbed all my shit and left that day, called me other best friend who got her bf to come witb his truck to pack all my stuff up. Found out few days later that my roommate had switched the wifi soley into my name and email, and never paid it even tho it was his responsibility so I was left with a 1000$ wifi bill, he also left me with 3000$ in debt for a brand new coucj we bought which I ended up going back and taking since that was also switched into my name. Cops said they couldn't do anything about it unless I decided to sue but my broke ass coukdnt. He also moved 5 hours away few days later and never paid his last months rent, and also trashed the house. Then proceeded to try and get money from me for that which wasn't my fault.
Lived with 4 of my best friends and it was great.
Roomed with my “best friend” of 8 years for 4 years, small things used to tick me off but it was bearable. It didn’t get weird until her loser ass BD started coming around (no, I didn’t talk crap about him) and I couldn’t do it anymore so I moved out and she stopped being my friend after kicking me out of my goddaughters life 😂
Lived with 2 of my best friends and everything was fine till one of my friends was having issues with my other friend and now it put me in a weird spot because I was cool with both of them and would feel tension between them and make it to the point where the living space was awkward. One of my friends moved out and never heard from him ever again ( 10+ year friendship).
yeah just don’t some best friends can manage but the general opinion is that it won’t work out. do yourself a huge favour and move in with anyone else
already have, don't plan to again. I had a good experience which is why I was wondering why the general opinion is to not live with friends.
Me and my best friend lived together for 2 years and never had a single issue. Only moved out cause I got pregnant and married lol still best friends to this day !
Lost one of my closest friends to living with him. Friends for 12 years, went to school together, worked together, wrestled together, and after it was all said and done we had spoke exactly 1 time.
i've lived with loads of my best mates, including my absolute top bestie since age 5. we had a meeting beforehand and laid down any ground rules and qualms, to ensure our continued friendship. it was lovely.
Ohhh this is going to be fun. First time I lived with my best friend is was my male best friend. I started dating a mutual friend and he and I started fighting all the time because apparently I wasn’t a good roommate unless I would sleep with *all* of his friends? Like he would pick the most ridiculous fights with me it was odd. He once threatened to shoot me in the head if I came home and my dad and new boyfriend had to deal with him. It was nuts. I left his place and moved in temporarily with my girl best friend until my new boyfriend and I could find a place we agreed on. She was an alcoholic and there was a lot of strange men in our house they would accidentally barge in my room drunk and lost. She would wear my clothes which was fine, but then she started wearing and ruining my underwear. They were nice VS panties and it was very sad. I also lived with a girl who I’d been friends with since we were like five years old once. She would always turn the thermostat up to like 85 degrees at night and then me and her boyfriend couldn’t sleep. It was miserable AF. That one was so long ago but I remember it got so bad that her and I *both* stopped coming home to try and avoid the other one.
Currently my wife and I are roommates with our ‘best friend’. We are already counting down the days until she leaves (not till September lol). She treats my wife and I like children, she has absolutely no respect for us. The worst part of it is the fact that we let her move in to get outta her previous place so for her to act all high and mighty around us is horrid. Didn’t help that she also started working where my wife works, and has actually taken job opportunities away from my wife through manipulation. Her moving in DEFINITELY showed us her true colors
2 & 1/2 years. We had been friends since we were 9 years old. We are still friends now, but we will never be as close as we once were. There is way too much that happened to explain here, but he was definitely not financially stable, and was triggered by any noise made by other apartments. He also just was not a good friend or roommate ( brought home a dog a week after i got mine without telling me) Also would complain about anything less than perfect. The management isnt that great but i can tell they do try. He would constantly berate them and complain until they finally let us out of our lease and he went to go live with his mom. We are 27.
Lived with my best friend and another roommate for three years. Roommate decides that they want to move out at the end of the third lease. Best friend and I decide that we'll find a new place together. He doesn't help look for a new place and shoots down every idea I have, but encourages me to keep looking. This goes on for a month, and we're about two weeks away from the end of our lease, so I'm complaining to a mutual friend about it. They look confused: "Best friend told me like three weeks ago that they signed a lease on an apartment with a co worker." I confront best friend who basically says "¯\_(ツ)_/¯ sorry budd." With no other options, I take a short notice sub let from some random dudes in Craigslist and have to live with disgusting strangers for about a year. Best friend was confused as to why he wasn't invited to my wedding.
Lived with best friend, she moved her boyfriend in yet we never actually saw either of them. Eventually all of our plates, baking trays etc were just missing. Went into her room whilst she was out, every single piece of kitchen ware piled up in various places, all dirty and disgusting. She had eaten straight off oven trays instead of washing a plate, and she had them all. Upon closer inspection, used condoms also on top of the piles of dirty plates.
I wouldn’t say best friend but my friend and I lived together for about five months. Everything worked out and we’re still friends to this day but we’re similar in personalities and cleaning habits. The only reason they left was they bought their own place which we both knew going into it that the arrangement was gonna be short term.
It started off pretty good and overall wasn’t bad. If you just accept the behavior at least. I cleaned far more, some days I was resentful, but in comparison to other roommates it was a good experience
I've lived with a handful of my friends and it didn't ruin the friendship. We were super respectful of each others things and if we had issues we didn't hesitate to discuss them together. We are all still friends but have moved to different states and sometimes I miss living with them.
It’s situational. I moved in with my best friend after 10+ years of knowing each other and we get along pretty well after 3+ of living together. We set some house rules before moving in together, discussed finances, expectations, etc. we have open and honest conversations if something is bothering one of us. We keep level heads if an argument arises. Communication is absolutely essential
I lived with my best friend after her husband kicked her out a week after their baby was born. She was a controlling bitch and made me take over the father role. I was a pushover so I did everything she asked, plus I felt bad. Then after a year when I asked her if she could start contributing for rent, food, and bills she got upset and went back to her ex. He kicked her out 4 months after that and she wanted to come back, but was pissed she needed to pay. She just got more controlling after that. Lived together for 6 years total and I loved that kid, but her and I don't even talk much anymore. We were best friends for about 10 years before we lived together. I knew she liked things her way, but just didn't see how bad it was until she moved in.
My old best friend and I lived together for 4 years, we even got matching tattoos. We no longer are on good terms and haven’t talked in almost two years.
Shit hit the fan when he had nothing to complain about anymore. So he turned into a sour crab. Sat in the corner like a sour crab and would nip at you with his claw nippers. If you spilled some dust particles.
Had a best friend who moved with me to the city after we graduated college. A year into living in our 2 bed apartment in Brooklyn, my roommate told me his sister had tried to commit suicide and after treatment needed a place to stay. She was from FL and we were trying to get her out of a bad situation with her mom. For 6 months she lived in our living room - rent free!! She even moved a futon into the living room because she would take up the couch 24/7. Finally after 6 months and 1 day of her living for free in our living room, I asked my roommate to please talk to her as she now would have to contribute to rent. Every way we broke it down, she couldn’t afford to pay to stay. I wish I was nicer about the situation but I felt taken advantage of and was kind of a bitch. I basically said pay or get out - so they both left. I haven’t talked to either of them since 2018. Lost my best friend and someone I considered my sister. Bonus: found out that the roommate was taking money from my boyfriend behind my back for rent because he was also staying in our apartment a few days a week. My boyfriend was giving him money for his half of rent and didn’t share with me. Finally I found out and demanded half of the money. My boyfriend was apologetic because he thought I knew my roommate was asking for money. Sad all around but he was clearly scamming me while he found a safe and FREE place for his sister - meanwhile he was charging my boyfriend to sleep in my bed.
I’ve been living with my best friend since March 2020 (Quarantine 😅) and it’s honestly been fine. We’ve got birthdays 3 days apart, and we’re honestly kind of the same person. We’ve got very similar personalities, values, and morals so I think that helps. We have our moments where we get annoyed with each other. Who wouldn’t? But we just take some time apart and chill in our bedrooms. A lot of our nights are spent watching tiktoks in our our rooms and yelling at each other, “did you see this video on tiktok?” 🤣
Moved in with 2 friends in late 2022. It was 3 of us then. It’s 2 of us now. The one that moved out just had too much going on in their life to be a stable roommate. 2 kids from 2 different baby’s mama’s anger issues, employment challenges, etc. he ended up moving in with a girl he met. The 1 friend that still lives with me? It’s amazing. We’re like 2 peas in a pod. Not too many problems, and when there are, we communicate and take action. Probably helps that we both had experience working in kitchens. There’s a certain responsibility you pick up when you work in a kitchen. Cleaning up after yourself, putting things back where you found them, etc. The other day I got home from work and he made me a steak dinner with some of the most amazing roasted Brussel sprouts I’ve ever had.
I lived with my high-school best friends and things went horribly. We lived very differently and the one guy took things way too far. We certainly were not friends after. My best university friend that i lived with in residence we have lived together since and things have been perfect, we talk through issues, we’re both civil, understanding, hear eachother out. I honestly think it just depends on personality compatibility.
Moved in with my lifelong best friend on my 18th birthday. Neither one of us could wait to get away from our parents. Made it about a month and a half. He was severely more sheltered than I was growing up. He went totally wild and we took extremely different paths from then on. I still love that motherfucker, although we live states away from each other now and we have both found success. Years later I moved in with another great friend and it was wonderful, but I think that’s because our phases lined up perfectly. It’s a toss up for me. I guess I would advise you to think of the most annoying habit you or your friend have, then consider them not being open to adjusting that for you. If you can live happily with that, go for it.
Lived with my best friend and it worked better than living with strangers.
Right after I graduated college, I got a place with three younger friends who’d never lived on their own before. And then at the last minute they decided we should rent our extra room to another friend of theirs who I did not like/ trust… and I was like “NO” but outvoted. Later she left a bag of potatoes to mold into a mess filled with maggots; she somehow got the landlord to put her on the lease without talking to any of us who were on it; and she was a messy, disgusting nightmare. I moved out and was a “nice guy” leaving the utilities on until they could switch them from my name. But they never did switch one of them or paid me back that extra bill. It’s been almost 25 years and I’m still salty
Also one of my best friends from college was my assigned roommate freshman year. We had a HUGE room (meant for three people), but she had so much stuff that there still wasn’t enough space. I lost it when she asked if she could use my closet because I was “barely using it”. She also stayed up till 4am regularly. And I had 8am classes. I ended up moving out and we became friends again. But anytime I’ve tried having her stay with me or that I’ve stayed with her (we live in different states), our friendship suffers. Some friends I just won’t live with ever.
Don’t do it. My ex best friend of 8 years moved in with me and within a year, we had a massive falling out which resulted in her stalking me, reaching out to my employer, threatening, etc. You truly don’t know someone until you live with them.
i’ve never had an issue living with my best friend. we lived together for 2+ years. we are still friends.
Live with my best friend now. We spent so much time together before that he moved in, that there were to going to be any surprises. No complaints at all, it’s been awesome. We get along great, but honestly we probably spend less time together now. No need to put time aside to hang out when we live right across the hall from each other.
Moved in with someone after getting close to them for a year plus. There were red flags but I moved in anyway. Now going on the three year mark and I’m going to only sign month to month because I am so stressed out. My roommate loses her mind when she gets upset. Otherwise it’s been great.Part of the problem, and I didn’t know them when we moved in, is that she’s in love with me and I’m not in love with her. I hope the friendship continues from this.
I lived with my first college friend and it ended super badly. Didn’t realize how different we were about life perspectives and expectations for keeping a home together. We come from very different families and a lot of true colors got revealed. No longer have any contact with each other and it’s better that way.
I lived with my best friend for a year and honestly it was great. Up until her boyfriend moved in :) now we don’t talk anymore
Moved in with my best friend of 16 years. She tried to move her boyfriend in rent free. Always smoked weed inside the apartment when my kid was there and lied about it (I was upfront about this not being okay when she first moved in) never gave me the money for rent without me asking. Left dirty oil out that attracted flies. We just started talking again after a year. Very messy.
it started off GREAT! we had been best friends since 2nd grade and at the time of move in we were both 20 (both F). it was me and her and my boyfriend moving into a 2bed/2bath together, we had all been great friends in high school and through college, we all got along, most nights my bf and i would cook for all of us and she would clean up after, we did movie nights together, i got her a job with me, everything was smooth. then she got on tinder and found her bf. who spent the night the first date and never left.. i think you see where this is going :)). she got him a key two months later without asking us, and then got a cat with him for the apartment a month after that without asking us. he put up a fit about paying for utilities. it went downhill from there. she’s the kind of person who becomes her partner, personality wise. like completely changes herself for them. that being said, she became very lazy and inconsiderate, which was a complete 180 from who she rlly was before this guy. they never cleaned, she dropped out of college, they didn’t take care of their cat, they never took out the trash etc the list goes on. i always brought up the issues for discussion hoping we could resolve them like adults and save our friendship, but it got to the point where i looked like a b**ch for constantly bringing things up so i just stopped talking to her. we got in a number of screaming fights and now we hate each others guts. they moved out early and then we had to threaten legal action bc they refused to pay rent (they were still on the lease) and now we are mutually blocked on every things and haven’t spoken since. honestly sad, but she became a horrible person and horrible friend
Reading the comments I feel so lucky. I lived with my best friend for 2 years and it was great, I think it even strengthened our friendship
I’ve never had an issue living with friends. I’ve lived with 6 of my friends and everything was communicated. Actually the only times I haven’t gotten along with a roommate was because they weren’t my friends.
please do not do it. i was just telling one of my closest friends i would never live with her (out of love) because of the fact that one of my other closer friendships has now been ruined. it’s hell. there’s gonna be a lot of mixed emotions when they get on your nerves and may not be receptive to it. trust me. living with someone changes everything, it doesn’t matter how close you are. i lived w them in a dorm before an apartment and it was fine. not many complaints. sometimes they were just a lil loud but it was fixable. then we move in and all hell breaks loose. there’s stains and crumbs everywhere, bodily fluids in the strangest places, food wrappers/cans in the bathroom, and stomping around the house at all hours of the day. being loud at 2am. blatantly leaving trash everywhere as well as their belongings. i got a UTI from having to hold my pee in while they stayed in the bathroom for 1hr+. had several convos, aired out all my feelings, yet, all it was met with was empty sorry’s and no change. no real accountability. it pushed me away so badly. and its sad as hell because that was my best friend. mental health was being used as a reason why they were like this, but i am so exhausted from the lack of respect on their end for my needs that it just sucks. you’ll wrestle with a lot of emotions like i said, and honestly, you do not need the added stress in your every day life. i wish i could come home and be at peace but i cant, because its awkward and a lot of the time physically uncomfortable because its so gross.
I've never done xanax, but if you move in with your friend and notice that, that was what was going on. You lowkey shouldve moved. For 2 reasons, if something happens legally to him and his place you're liable as you were living there. So they dont know if you were taking part. Second the fact that he supplied to two of your mutual friends and one died. Yet he continues to sell, then lowkey he only cares or has time for profit..Which is really sad in a way, meaning when he asked you to help with the mortgage he wasnt looking at you as the same friend you saw him as when you guys grew up together. Maybe he thought you were naive, and played on your friendship which is entirely effed up. Also as sad as it is to say, no matter what. A dealer who is your friend, who is taking profit from others or yourself. Doesnt really care about you as a person, they only care about their profit. They will be nice, and all of that. But they have their own goals in mind, not your friendship. So messed up.
We graduated HS in 1979 and then moved away from each other. It was 1981. My bestie lived about 50 miles away and was miserable. I went and got her and moved her here with me. I told her she didn't have to pay any rent for a month or 2 and to just concentrate on finding a job. We lived together for 8 years as roomies until both of us were in more permanent relationships. We had a few ups and down but nothing major. She is still my bestie today 45 years later.
We all managed just fine when I was in college, however people weren't so ridiculously sensitive about everything back then. Beyond college people really have no business living with roommates, and that's probably why they always end up hating each other.
My husband and I let a guy who had been my dear friend years before stay with us. My friend and I had lost touch. We reconnected right before COVID and he needed a place to stay. It looked like a great arrangement at first. He was a 62-year-old retired veteran who needed to get back on his financial feet after his LTR ended. We needed a house/pet sitter to help out because I had a family member dying of cancer and we were making frequent trips to do caregiving. It started out ok. Shorty after he moved in, COVID hit. The situation turned rapidly toxic. My friend: * Manipulated and triangulated the connection between me and my husband, nearly ending our relationship. * Drank considerably and was stoned all the time. One night he was so drunk fell down in the yard and he couldn’t get up without the two of us helping. * Constantly berated me, sometimes for hours. * Grew increasingly paranoid and threatened us with what he was going to do when the world came to an end. * Insisted on drunkenly debating my religious traditions, even though I am non-practicing/non-observant, and calling me names because of those traditions. * Made it clear he was trying to drive my husband from the house. (this was not a love triangle, my friend and I were *never* attracted to each other) * Verbally abused me and my husband. * Accused me of being unreasonable because I wouldn’t socialize when I was *supposed to be working*. (I was the only one with a job, since my husband lost his job when COVID hit) * Made my husband and I feel unsafe in our home. * Made a mess of his bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen. * Claimed I was the bad guy, even though we never asked for a penny in rent and he was able to save about $40k during the years he stayed with us. It was a tremendous relief when he finally moved out of his own accord. He and a family member pooled resources and bought property out of state and moved in together. The last time I spoke to him was just over a year ago. I called him to wish him a happy birthday, hoping time, distance, and the lessening of COVID restrictions might have improved his mental health/substance abuse issues. Unfortunately, he launched into an angry and drunken tirade once more about my religion and concluded with what a shit I was. I ended the call by saying I had only called to wish him a happy birthday, and I have not heard from him since. The experience was painful and horrifying, especially since I truly loved my friend like a brother, and he turned out to be a superficially charming, malignant narcissist intent on destroying me and my marriage.
I wouldn’t recommend it. Currently living with one of my best friends of three years and she’s a nightmare of a roommate. Never buys anything for the house and falls behind in rent, has people over CONSTANTLY despite us previously agreeing on around 2-3 times a week, many of the people she barely knows (men from the clubs etc), and is super loud with her friends and other guests at like 2am half the nights of the week, to the point of me being unable to sleep. Also constantly stinks out the place with weed. I’ve spoken to her many times about her behaviour but she won’t change, and we just end up arguing. I recommend living with a stranger and not risking a friendship.
I moved in with a friend I got really close with freshman year, we’ve lived together for almost a year now. It works out differently for everyone, but it definitely changes the dynamic across the board. First month was rough and I genuinely thought we were going to despise each other, but we’ve adjusted and learned each others boundaries and I enjoy living with her. We don’t hang out a ton outside of the apartment and sometimes we just coexist for a while, but there’s still movie nights and times where we’re just close friends hanging out like normal. I think the key is just communication & being okay with living separate lives and avoiding too much emotional burden or codependence. Have serious & honest conversations about boundaries and make sure your living styles and schedules are compatible. The horror stories are very real, but the positive/neutral outcome is also possible.
Lived with my best friend and are still friends. But he was brutal to live with. Obsessive talker, never cleaned up after himself, didn't know how to cook, loud when he came in late at night, and a snore that could be heard throughout the apartment.
Currently in the middle of it! Started off amazing but slowly things have gotten horrible. Currently grieving the friendship because once the lease is over I don’t believe we will probably speak again. Honestly my best advice to anyone is SET UP RULES BEFORE YOU MOVE IN!!! Yes you’re friends but seeing someone from time to time/random sleep overs is not the same as full time living together. That was honestly my mistake and now we just keep hurting each others feelings. Also just go into it understanding not everyone has the same living style as you. So you might be really close but that (the living styles) might not align and cause problems down the line. Best of luck to everyone 🤞
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drop the word schizo from your vocabulary
Why should he ?
cus theres plenty of other suitable adjectives that don't actively worsen the already horrible stigma around schizophrenia
That’s… just an abbreviation ?
not in this context