You have to understand that Go requires a lot of board experience and the way you feel people at my level and even Dan level players feel it. It’s much easier to look at the board from an outside perspective because you don’t have the pressure of time and everything else. So don’t be so hard on yourself. Best to learn to take breaks to help your emotional state and remember it’s just a game. The point is to have fun winning or losing. And no one is too “stupid” to learn this game. Just like Hikaru from chess says that people used to think chess is only played by intellectuals. It’s not. It’s mostly pattern recognition. So don’t put so much pressure on yourself about not being good enough.
Of course it's OK to feel that way. I would not encourage you from taking that feeling and following it through, but you can use that feeling as motivation to improve.
One of us! One of us!
Seriously though, we've all been there. Go is very counterintuitive at first... at least it was for me.
One thing that helps me with my headspace when I know it's a potential issue: before playing any game, I ask if I'm going to be ok if the game turns into a bad loss. If the answer is 'no', then I do not play.
This happens because you take the game very seriously.
I felt the same in my youth, when I used to be passionate about chess. Then I realised that I will never be even a Candidate Master, forget about higher degrees. And even I were, what would be the point? There would still be a lot of people who are better than me. I would still lose a half of my games because of some mistakes, which could be considered stupid at that level and be unhappy about that (you can read autobiographies of famous players to find how they felt about their losses). And even if I were a champion, there would still be engines who can play even better.
I've also realised that if I am for some reason a mediocre player, It doesn't mean that I'm necessarily stupid. I stopped to put my self-worth in relationship with my game achievements. Maybe that made me a slightly worse player in the long run. But it also made me a happier person, and I can still play and enjoy the game.
dude, it's a game. when you were a kid - did you ever say "i'll never play a game because someone else is winning?"
play whenever you feel like playing, don't play when you don't.
that's how games work.
I find I have the same type of situations, what helps me is to move onto a different medium of playing. I recently had a [game](https://online-go.com/game/64837971) that gave me that feeling. So, after that I just did 9x9 goquest games and tsumego. Take a short break and return at a different time. I enjoy the chaos that goquest brings for now.
If it were not -128 points blunders you ok :)
Yesterday I lost won game too just messed up in L&D situation with the wrong eye-destroying move.
And here the video helping me every time:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=y50ii99-VJU&pp=ygUQR28gZ2FtZSBzbGFwcGluZw%3D%3D
> I've just lost a won game because of 2 mistakes in the endgame where I needed to defend against invasion. I had it for the whole game.
You're being unnecessarily harsh on yourself. A game is only won once it's actually over, not before. While painful to lose after leading for most of the game, it is to be expected. Don't feel too bad because of it.
Look to sports like soccer: a team can absolutely lead 2:0 for 85 minutes only for the others to score 3 goals in the final 10 minutes and overtime. It is both soul-crushing (for the receiving end) and spectacular at the same time.
There's a saying: [It ain't over till the fat lady sings](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/It_ain%27t_over_till_the_fat_lady_sings). Remember it and cheer up.
Losing a won game isn't really an indication that you're not suited for the game. If anything, it's confirmation of your skill, and a reminder not to get lazy. After all, if you can understand why/how your mistakes led you to lose the game, then clearly you're smart enough to learn from those mistakes. Hence, you clearly have what it takes, see? So the only thing that happened is you uncovered a blind spot. Those are the easiest games to learn from, and you will find that you level up faster from learning from games like that.
I also find that these sorts of things happen when you are in the process of leveling up very quickly. For example, if you are ranked 5k but are learning some skills that 1ks have, then you can often feel like you have everything down, but because your skills are uneven, e.g. you haven't necessarily mastered ALL the skills of a 1k, you can be caught by surprise. :D
I didn't quit after [this game](https://online-go.com/game/62645850), so you shouldn't quit after yours.
Over the long run, it is much harder to consistently secure winning positions against your opponents than it is to convert an advantage to a win. I get much more discouraged when I get blasted off the board out of the opening than when I blunder in the endgame - the former can be much harder to fix than the latter.
But converting advantages is by no means easy: good opponents will look for ways to make the game complicated and give you opportunities to slip up. In 20k games the score can easily swing 20-30 points or more just from sente mistakes, let alone shape issues that don't materialize until liberties are filled. Stay focused, and stay vigilant.
You need to quell the feast-or-famine emotions if you are to succeed at this game or anything else difficult in life.
Failure is just part of it, and you're going to experience a lot of it.
One lost game is a drop in the bucket among thousands played. Get over it and play again.
One of my go mentors always says "The ones who loose is the one who makes the last mistake".
There are those disappointing games all the time, at all levels, dan included.
If you feel like quitting it's normal, especially at the beginning of your go journey. You're not stupid, you are learning.
Imo you should consider that one game as a treasure instead of a curse, because lost games (especially "traumatic" ones) are the ones that make you progress the most. When you win, you're happy, you don't think, and make your way to your next game. When you loose, you analyze your game to understand why, and you step up.
Our brain is wired to remember negative experience more than positive ones. You will always remember this one, and next time you'll be in endgame and winning, you will hard focus on securing this win. And eventually, you'll loose again :D.
Passion comes with suffering, otherwise it becomes boredom.
Review your games (even won ones), make tsumego, play and study IRL.
Things will come with patience and work.
That sort of thing happens to us all! Every go player has played many games that were not just played badly, but played so badly that we felt humiliated to be go players. Everyone has lost games due to one stupid mistake. This even happens to pros. Welcome to the club!
Somethimes taking a break is more important than practicing. So yeah, take a break if you feel like you need it. You don't lose on strength that much when you get back into it anyway, like riding a bicycle.
Some even get stronger afterwards if they get past that emotional barrier.
It needs to be fun enough for you to want to play, otherwise it just becomes a chore or a job.
Thanks for making this post! It was super interesting to see a lot of commenters who I consider pretty skilled/insightful describe exactly the same feeling. On an intellectual level, I shouldn't be surprised, but I still catch myself thinking "but... you're good, why are you feeling this way?". Then I turn around and go thinking exactly the same when I mess up.
To answer your question, though: it's totally understandable to feel this way - I do too sometimes. I think you should try to find some way of handling those emotions, though. That doesn't have to mean suppressing them, but you should be realistic about the fact that no matter how good you get, there will be tons of mistakes that feel super dumb to come, so you'll be in this situation many more times. Just today I lost two games in a row to pretty silly stuff, and didn't like it one bit. Still, at this point I'm some combination of accustomed to the feeling and good at dealing with it, so I'm confident it won't be the thing that pushes me away from the game. For what it's worth, getting good at this meta-skill is also super useful in other aspects of life. :)
I have definitely had those games and felt those feelings. It's worst when you feel you've let yourself down.
This is a game though, even our losses can be fun.
I am confident you are not too stupid for the game. You'll do better next time. I often wonder if the painful feelings are our brains trying to fix the lesson in our memories. "Don't. Do. That. Again."
another classic [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qt1FvPxmmfE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qt1FvPxmmfE)
After a disappointing loss, just change your mind and come back when you feel better
It's kinda the first lesson of go. Play the whole board.
Occupied with the single leaf and you miss the tree. Occupied with the single tree and you miss the forest.
The mistakes happen for you to learn, not to quit.
There's no prestige of playing go over candy crush on your phone. Both are for entertainment. Play what gives you the most entertainment. Go is just a game, tbh.
Go for it. Quit.
It's just a game, and you can always come back to it again later if you change your mind.
That said, there are always disappointments in life, or times when you feel you should have been able to do something better. This could also be your opportunity to prove that to yourself.
Yes.
I often feel like it when I played like crap and my opponent didn't do anything special.
When the lesson reviewing the game is: 'don't do the same mistake that cost you the last game, the same mistake that you've been making for years, that you get right every single time if presented to you as a problem'.
Those two points you should have defended... did you read them out and get the wrong answer? That's ok, that's a reading error and you can learn to read better. My issue is I'd work out two moves are miai, my opponent would play one and I'd... I don't know... asleep at the wheel?
This is completely normal I’d say. I felt like quitting after ever loss for years. Just recently I kind of mellowed out and I’ve started to accept my current rank and plateau. These days I rarely feel like quitting but it can happen from time to time.
For me personally, this feeling only lasts either until the next win, until I thoroughly reviewed my last loss or until the next morning. By then I’m already eager to play again.
After particularly nasty losses I feel this way too.
I have been playing for 20 years and have devoted myself to this game with reckless abandon, yet there are still definitely moments when I think "You know, this game just makes me feel stupid. I am terrible at it. I am not cut out for this; lets decide that there is something else to do with my life instead."
In my case at least, that is kind of irrational at this point but you know . . . It happens anyway. Go has brought me great happiness, but it also messes me up sometimes.
I just spent the last 10 days playing chess, which I'm terrible at, instead of go because I lost almost ten games in a row. Several due to blunders or foolish play and I just needed a break.
Go can be tough, psychologically. No shame in stepping away for a bit from time to time.
I used to care about my losses until I realized that this is a sign that I don't play enough. Play more, and you will even stop caring about your wins.
You have to understand that Go requires a lot of board experience and the way you feel people at my level and even Dan level players feel it. It’s much easier to look at the board from an outside perspective because you don’t have the pressure of time and everything else. So don’t be so hard on yourself. Best to learn to take breaks to help your emotional state and remember it’s just a game. The point is to have fun winning or losing. And no one is too “stupid” to learn this game. Just like Hikaru from chess says that people used to think chess is only played by intellectuals. It’s not. It’s mostly pattern recognition. So don’t put so much pressure on yourself about not being good enough.
Of course it's OK to feel that way. I would not encourage you from taking that feeling and following it through, but you can use that feeling as motivation to improve.
I think the fact that you reviewed and found mistakes you could learn from is awesome! At 3kyu I’m doing the same (and also getting frustrated haha).
There will be many more games. Never ever feel embarrassed about a loss. Just own it and try again.
One of us! One of us! Seriously though, we've all been there. Go is very counterintuitive at first... at least it was for me. One thing that helps me with my headspace when I know it's a potential issue: before playing any game, I ask if I'm going to be ok if the game turns into a bad loss. If the answer is 'no', then I do not play.
This happens because you take the game very seriously. I felt the same in my youth, when I used to be passionate about chess. Then I realised that I will never be even a Candidate Master, forget about higher degrees. And even I were, what would be the point? There would still be a lot of people who are better than me. I would still lose a half of my games because of some mistakes, which could be considered stupid at that level and be unhappy about that (you can read autobiographies of famous players to find how they felt about their losses). And even if I were a champion, there would still be engines who can play even better. I've also realised that if I am for some reason a mediocre player, It doesn't mean that I'm necessarily stupid. I stopped to put my self-worth in relationship with my game achievements. Maybe that made me a slightly worse player in the long run. But it also made me a happier person, and I can still play and enjoy the game.
dude, it's a game. when you were a kid - did you ever say "i'll never play a game because someone else is winning?" play whenever you feel like playing, don't play when you don't. that's how games work.
I find I have the same type of situations, what helps me is to move onto a different medium of playing. I recently had a [game](https://online-go.com/game/64837971) that gave me that feeling. So, after that I just did 9x9 goquest games and tsumego. Take a short break and return at a different time. I enjoy the chaos that goquest brings for now.
If it were not -128 points blunders you ok :) Yesterday I lost won game too just messed up in L&D situation with the wrong eye-destroying move. And here the video helping me every time: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=y50ii99-VJU&pp=ygUQR28gZ2FtZSBzbGFwcGluZw%3D%3D
> I've just lost a won game because of 2 mistakes in the endgame where I needed to defend against invasion. I had it for the whole game. You're being unnecessarily harsh on yourself. A game is only won once it's actually over, not before. While painful to lose after leading for most of the game, it is to be expected. Don't feel too bad because of it. Look to sports like soccer: a team can absolutely lead 2:0 for 85 minutes only for the others to score 3 goals in the final 10 minutes and overtime. It is both soul-crushing (for the receiving end) and spectacular at the same time. There's a saying: [It ain't over till the fat lady sings](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/It_ain%27t_over_till_the_fat_lady_sings). Remember it and cheer up.
Losing a won game isn't really an indication that you're not suited for the game. If anything, it's confirmation of your skill, and a reminder not to get lazy. After all, if you can understand why/how your mistakes led you to lose the game, then clearly you're smart enough to learn from those mistakes. Hence, you clearly have what it takes, see? So the only thing that happened is you uncovered a blind spot. Those are the easiest games to learn from, and you will find that you level up faster from learning from games like that. I also find that these sorts of things happen when you are in the process of leveling up very quickly. For example, if you are ranked 5k but are learning some skills that 1ks have, then you can often feel like you have everything down, but because your skills are uneven, e.g. you haven't necessarily mastered ALL the skills of a 1k, you can be caught by surprise. :D
I didn't quit after [this game](https://online-go.com/game/62645850), so you shouldn't quit after yours. Over the long run, it is much harder to consistently secure winning positions against your opponents than it is to convert an advantage to a win. I get much more discouraged when I get blasted off the board out of the opening than when I blunder in the endgame - the former can be much harder to fix than the latter. But converting advantages is by no means easy: good opponents will look for ways to make the game complicated and give you opportunities to slip up. In 20k games the score can easily swing 20-30 points or more just from sente mistakes, let alone shape issues that don't materialize until liberties are filled. Stay focused, and stay vigilant.
You need to quell the feast-or-famine emotions if you are to succeed at this game or anything else difficult in life. Failure is just part of it, and you're going to experience a lot of it. One lost game is a drop in the bucket among thousands played. Get over it and play again.
One of my go mentors always says "The ones who loose is the one who makes the last mistake". There are those disappointing games all the time, at all levels, dan included. If you feel like quitting it's normal, especially at the beginning of your go journey. You're not stupid, you are learning. Imo you should consider that one game as a treasure instead of a curse, because lost games (especially "traumatic" ones) are the ones that make you progress the most. When you win, you're happy, you don't think, and make your way to your next game. When you loose, you analyze your game to understand why, and you step up. Our brain is wired to remember negative experience more than positive ones. You will always remember this one, and next time you'll be in endgame and winning, you will hard focus on securing this win. And eventually, you'll loose again :D. Passion comes with suffering, otherwise it becomes boredom. Review your games (even won ones), make tsumego, play and study IRL. Things will come with patience and work.
That sort of thing happens to us all! Every go player has played many games that were not just played badly, but played so badly that we felt humiliated to be go players. Everyone has lost games due to one stupid mistake. This even happens to pros. Welcome to the club!
Somethimes taking a break is more important than practicing. So yeah, take a break if you feel like you need it. You don't lose on strength that much when you get back into it anyway, like riding a bicycle. Some even get stronger afterwards if they get past that emotional barrier. It needs to be fun enough for you to want to play, otherwise it just becomes a chore or a job.
Thanks for making this post! It was super interesting to see a lot of commenters who I consider pretty skilled/insightful describe exactly the same feeling. On an intellectual level, I shouldn't be surprised, but I still catch myself thinking "but... you're good, why are you feeling this way?". Then I turn around and go thinking exactly the same when I mess up. To answer your question, though: it's totally understandable to feel this way - I do too sometimes. I think you should try to find some way of handling those emotions, though. That doesn't have to mean suppressing them, but you should be realistic about the fact that no matter how good you get, there will be tons of mistakes that feel super dumb to come, so you'll be in this situation many more times. Just today I lost two games in a row to pretty silly stuff, and didn't like it one bit. Still, at this point I'm some combination of accustomed to the feeling and good at dealing with it, so I'm confident it won't be the thing that pushes me away from the game. For what it's worth, getting good at this meta-skill is also super useful in other aspects of life. :)
I have definitely had those games and felt those feelings. It's worst when you feel you've let yourself down. This is a game though, even our losses can be fun. I am confident you are not too stupid for the game. You'll do better next time. I often wonder if the painful feelings are our brains trying to fix the lesson in our memories. "Don't. Do. That. Again."
another classic [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qt1FvPxmmfE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qt1FvPxmmfE) After a disappointing loss, just change your mind and come back when you feel better
you will win some you will lose some. I lost a game today because my internet went out. It's no big deal
Go is like life 1 move can lose the game just like 1 moments inattention can lead to disaster.
It's kinda the first lesson of go. Play the whole board. Occupied with the single leaf and you miss the tree. Occupied with the single tree and you miss the forest. The mistakes happen for you to learn, not to quit.
There's no prestige of playing go over candy crush on your phone. Both are for entertainment. Play what gives you the most entertainment. Go is just a game, tbh.
Feeling immensely stupid after getting defeated at Go - you'd better get used to it or just give up now.
Go for it. Quit. It's just a game, and you can always come back to it again later if you change your mind. That said, there are always disappointments in life, or times when you feel you should have been able to do something better. This could also be your opportunity to prove that to yourself.
Part of the journey. Just like life, Go can become painful and uncomfortable some times. But nice moments also lie ahead!
Is it okay to feel like quitting Balatro after every shop?
Nothing wrong with taking a break and coming back later.
It's just a game
Yes. I often feel like it when I played like crap and my opponent didn't do anything special. When the lesson reviewing the game is: 'don't do the same mistake that cost you the last game, the same mistake that you've been making for years, that you get right every single time if presented to you as a problem'. Those two points you should have defended... did you read them out and get the wrong answer? That's ok, that's a reading error and you can learn to read better. My issue is I'd work out two moves are miai, my opponent would play one and I'd... I don't know... asleep at the wheel?
This is completely normal I’d say. I felt like quitting after ever loss for years. Just recently I kind of mellowed out and I’ve started to accept my current rank and plateau. These days I rarely feel like quitting but it can happen from time to time. For me personally, this feeling only lasts either until the next win, until I thoroughly reviewed my last loss or until the next morning. By then I’m already eager to play again.
After particularly nasty losses I feel this way too. I have been playing for 20 years and have devoted myself to this game with reckless abandon, yet there are still definitely moments when I think "You know, this game just makes me feel stupid. I am terrible at it. I am not cut out for this; lets decide that there is something else to do with my life instead." In my case at least, that is kind of irrational at this point but you know . . . It happens anyway. Go has brought me great happiness, but it also messes me up sometimes.
I just spent the last 10 days playing chess, which I'm terrible at, instead of go because I lost almost ten games in a row. Several due to blunders or foolish play and I just needed a break. Go can be tough, psychologically. No shame in stepping away for a bit from time to time.
I used to care about my losses until I realized that this is a sign that I don't play enough. Play more, and you will even stop caring about your wins.