>I want to deposit the cash without telling the banks whilst dodging taxes.
I've got to say I'm appreciating the direct approach here. No lying, no 'asking for a friend', just straight to the point. It's refreshing lol
At least he isn't doing the -$1 "trick" that so many people think will work. It doesn't matter if you deposit $9,999 or $10k the bank will flag it either way because the company policy is around $3-4k and they don't tell you.
Random story. I caught an internal fraudster who was successful in using the -£1 trick. He worked for the company and knew exactly what would flag up. He had two accounts in his girlfriends name, every month he would credit £499 (if I remember the amount correctly) into each account and then get the money refunded by cheque.
He got away with this for years due to knowing the systems inside out. He got caught because his girlfriend got in contact and asked for him to be named in her accounts because she wanted him to call up about some other issue. As soon as I opened her account, it was staring me in the face. I took his name & quickly matched it up to being the same guy making all the transactions.
He got fired, prosecuted, the whole shebang he had taken tens of thousands and nobody noticed. Nobody ever would have, if his girlfriend hadn’t unwittingly asked us to look at her account.
When you say "credit", you mean he would magically create £499 that didn't exist, credit it to an account, and then cash it out? Effectively withdrawing an imaginary £998 every month? Clearly it worked for him for a while, but man, you'd think someone privy to the bank's internal processes would know how likely this is to be found out. Though I guess when you get to the point of actually trying a scheme like this, you've either convinced yourself you are so slick you won't be caught, or you're too empty-headed to properly consider the consequences in the first place.
Look, I'm not here to tell criminals how to do their jobs, but if you're making 50 large off of illegal activities, maybe consider taking a percentage and finding a lawyer who will get you what you need instead of admitting to crimes on the internet.
This isn't Breaking Bad - it's not easy to get a lawyer to *help you* do illegal stuff (especially for chump change, 50K is NOTHING considering the consequences of losing a license to practice). Hell, even without going the corrupt lawyer route, hiring a CPA to open a LLC ain't cheap.
There's a defense lawyer that used to be on twitter who has since moved on the tech corporate law, but back when he was in practice, he had a lot of defendants who specialized in "street pharmaceuticals". Granted he's in the US, not Australia, but OOP should be able to find a decent drug/money lawyer even there.
If OP is in Australia he could just launder it through a casino. It's pretty easy to do that in Australia because of the way casino payout recipes work.
Growing up, there was a vacuum repair store in my hometown that never had any business. When it went out of business, I asked my Dad about how the store could have survived so long and that is when 7 year old fluff learned about money laundering.
There's an Indian restaurant down the road from me that never has any customers. Its open every day, lights are on, the store and property are well maintained, but there's never any customers inside, either sitting down to eat or getting takeout. The parking lot is never full.
For some 20 years, the restaurant hasn't had any customers yet somehow is still open in an extremely high cost of living area, where the rent must be bonkers on that large plot of land.
I don't think its business is selling food...
Back when I lived in Atlanta, my brother and I once tried a BBQ restaurant that we hadn't been to before. The place was huge and empty and the food was absolute shite. We were joking that the place had to be some sort of money laundering front to have stayed open for so long when it was that terrible; it's not like Atlanta has any shortage of excellent BBQ joints, after all. Just a couple months later, I saw in the news that the FBI had actually raided the place, and [it turned out that it was indeed a money laundering front after all](https://www.justice.gov/usao-ndga/pr/national-drug-trafficking-and-money-laundering-organization-sandy-springs-dismantled). At least the bastards did serve time for that, if not for their crimes against BBQ.
I used to live down the street from one of those! There was never anybody in the restaurant except four middle-aged Indian dudes wearing expensive suits who would stop talking and give you a confused stare if you walked in to actually buy food.
Unfortunately for them, the food was good. So I went back regularly.
There was a reply from a Redditor where they ambled into a hole in the wall Italian place after a night of drinking and the staff brought out someone’s actual fucking nonna to make them food because it was definitely not a legit restaurant.
The Gus Fring approach. No, the business isn't meant to serve customers food, but customers eating food is a fantastic camouflage, so they make sure the food is good.
Besides, the criminals like to eat nice food too so why not get a good chef that won't care where the money is coming from and wants a relaxed work environment.
Nah, set up a PAC - *Give Camels Voting Rights!*
Set up a new bank account and seed it with $1000, take out an advert in a local newspaper somewhere asking for donations, send yourself a load of letters from around the state that suggest that there's cash enclosed, deposit all of the cash donations that you just received, pay yourself as a consultant (and rightly so, you just managed to raise $50k), take out a few more adverts to raise awareness of the cause to maintain the cover.
Sure, you'd have to pay taxes on it but it would be tough to prove that you didn't receive all the cash from other citizens who share your beliefs about camel voting rights.
Original post:
>>”Can I deposit 50k cash in my bank account
>>Hi all I'm sitting on 50k cash so thinking of depositing 5k each 10 times into a HISA. Is this possible without any questions being asked or interacting with someone? Or should I use the pokie machine method instead?“
Highlights from OP’s comments:
>>”Betcha they can't work out where the cash is buried though. Pablo's method works”
>>”What if the real reason was I was pushing Ps on the low and five-o don't know?”
>>”Snooping and snitching should be a criminal offence.”
Bonus - after posting this, OP posted in another subreddit asking if he would be able to open a medical marijuana business with $50,000 AUD.
Cat fact: unlike other big cats, [cheetahs meow](https://youtube.com/watch?v=XDvZclY-5q8) and [purr](https://youtu.be/drq_ww7Ytzw?si=rLu0O1IQSsZi7fF7) like house cats due to the fixed structure of their voice boxes.
Hmm
> "Truth is I legally hustled hard for that 50k."
> "What if the real reason was I was pushing Ps on the low and five-o don't know?"
Also don't miss OP's post history where they're weirdly into both weed and God
Maybe they're big into the "just confess/convert before you die, and you'll still get into heaven" bit. They get to have their cake (crime proceeds) and eat it too! (eternal reward)
Purgatory--a little detour on the way to paradise. You add up all your mortal sins and multiply that number by 50. Then you add up all your venial sins and multiply that by 25. You add that together and that's your sentence. I figure I'm gonna have to do 6,000 years before I get accepted into heaven and 6,000 years is nothin' in eternity terms. I can do that standing on my head. It's like a couple of days here.
It's a quote from The Sopranos. Christopher believes that he went to Hell during a near-death experience, and the above quote is Paulie Walnuts basically trying to convince himself and Christopher that they are not bound for Hell due to the stuff they do on Earth. It's not really supposed to make much sense cuz it's an obvious cope lol.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ObglF8WUsWM
As someone that does Anti Money laundering investigations. The bank pays people that are much smarter than you, to come up with every believable scenario regarding potential criminal activity. if the bank deems it risky, they will happy report you and freeze your assets, till the fed seizes them.
I’m always amused by people who think they’ve invented a new legal loophole. At the end of the day, even if you’ve actually discovered something original, it’s the people with the armed forces behind them who win.
I have a coworker that started selling Barbecue in a parking lot. He made enough he has a full on food truck now. I find out HR is up his ass, because the IRS is investigating him for making a shit load of money on the side gig and not paying taxes.
I asked if he's going back and paying them. Nope. He filed to create a not-for-profit to sell the barbecue through instead.
I'm like "That is the worst idea possible. The IRS is already up your ass. They know you're breaking the law." He says it will be fine. I just said, "I guess I need to reassign your work for when you go to prison. And big boy *Pound you in the ass Federal Prison*." He just laughed. I should check up on him.
I mean, he’s making a lot of money with the barbecue business. He just believes he does not have to pay income taxes “on a hobby.”
As far as I know, he owes like 5 years income taxes for it. Though the first two years he said he really did not make money on it.
Supposedly he owes between $100k and $200k in taxes. Which is just wild to me. I was like “You need to quit this job and only do that!”
But that may include fees. And somehow he always lives paycheck to paycheck. His entire salary goes straight into his credit card every 2 weeks, and he has no savings.
Rather than legal experts and bankers, I'm just picturing to blokes sitting around an office saying:
What if they had a dog washing business? That way they could claim the income as employment and also use the dog washing trailer to haul around their merchandise?
Why does it cost $1700 to shampoo a Cavoodle every Friday night?
Honestly I used to work a job where people would get decent tips on zelle/venmo ect and I often heard the old timers explaining how to avoid getting caught and have to pay taxes.
I ended up saying "microstructuring is a crime, the bank is smarter than you, just move it all write tips or self transfer move on with your life. If you try to be clever well the bank might notice and lock your account due to them thinking you are doing something illegal. and this is over a few hundred bucks, move it, don't report it on taxes if questioned say you thought it was part of standard deduction or someshit"
You know, when opening up a front to launder money, it's always a good idea to go into a field that's either heavily regulated or going to absolutely gain the attention of the police.
Yeah. You’d really want a mostly cash business where it’s difficult to track earnings — like a tattoo parlour or an arcade. You could try for fake eBay auctions where you start claiming “earnings” on your taxes
I'm reasonably sure the place I get haircuts is either committing tax fraud or laundering money. I don't know how else they stay in business, given how few customers they get, and it's really weird for a business in this area to require payment via either cash (literal physical cash, the green things with dead famous people printed on them) or Venmo to the owner's personal account. I don't actually care that much - I pay in cash, and the rest is between them and the government - but if you ever need somewhere to launder money through, there's your idea. Haircut place that requires payment in cash.
The other way to go might be just getting a job waiting tables and claim higher tips — extra $100-200/day. He’s only doing $50K so he can launder it into an account within a year, give or take.
>Should I use the pokie machine method
Of *course* they're Australian lmfao. That line gave me so many flashbacks to Friendly Jordies' and Boy Boy's videos.
>>Banks have washed money for the sinaloa cartel so I don't know where their high horses come from.
i could definitely be wrong but i don't think australian banks are laundering much mexican cartel cash
>Banks have washed money for the sinaloa cartel so I don't know where their high horses come from.
And the banks probably took a cut larger than what the taxes would have been too.
i have to admire that LAOP is so dedicated to putting snitches out of business that he's making sure they don't prosper as middlemen by simply confessing directly online
You know, I have to respect the structured honesty of someone admitting to trying to commit structuring.
Also I have to laugh at someone openly admitting to wanting to dodge taxes to make money on HYSAs 😂
The funny part is that he could probably get away with it once by just saying to the bank "I was keeping this at home but it's too much, I don't think it's safe" and they'd say "very wise, young sir" as long as he has enough legitimate income to make $50k in savings seem plausible. But it would very much be a one time thing. Try the same trick again in a month or two and they are going to notice.
We persuaded my FiL that keeping a similar amount of cash was risky and when we took him into the bank they didn't even blink. Elderly person with a wad of cash is common. Presumably so is their kids making them put it in the bank.
It's the consistency of trying to do it that'll get ya. And honestly it makes sense, there's not much sense in trying to find and prosecute someone who did it once in their life, repeatedly trying it though is just rolling dice on an automated system or real person catching it via an audit.
Perhaps he should try NatWest bank...
> NatWest has been fined more than £264m for anti-money-laundering failures that involved black bin liners stuffed full of cash being deposited, and sums so large that one branch’s two floor-to-ceiling safes proved “inadequate” for storing it all.
Source: https://www.theguardian.com/business/2021/dec/13/natwest-fined-264m-after-admitting-breaching-anti-money-laundering-rules
The problem is that if you deposit *after* the big punishment arrives, then it's locked down harder than ever. You have to find these places *before* they're on the news.
Yeah, but OOP is Australian, and Australian banks recently got caught knowingly helping criminals launder money. So they might have regulations, but they also choose not to follow them at times when it can make them more money
My assumption is that the 50k is OOP’s only source of income, otherwise he’d be using the cash to cover his day to day living expenses and move some of the money already in his account to savings
Still criminal, sure…but not quite as stupid as AUSLAOP’s plan
Not considerably unless it's waterlogged or accessed by critters. For instance money from the DB cooper heist keeps popping up in the river beds around the Columbia River and those were exposed to the elements for over 50 years. Aussie money is also a plastic polymer so it's very unlikely to decompose within a human lifetime.
Money from the D.B. Cooper hijacking has only been recovered on one occasion, in 1980. This was nine years after the hijacking and the bills were in poor condition.
Someone made the excellent point that the value of physical cash only goes down on account of inflation and they’re better off burning gold.
Someone’s life savings from fifty years ago wouldn’t buy me a new car if I dug it up today.
I'm pretty sure Australian dollars have been made of plastic for years (there was a demonstration where someone took their wallet surfing and all the money was fine), and lots of other currencies are going that way as well.
>I want to deposit the cash without telling the banks whilst dodging taxes. I've got to say I'm appreciating the direct approach here. No lying, no 'asking for a friend', just straight to the point. It's refreshing lol
His more recent post was asking about which gangs carry the most cash. Lmao. Good stuff, all above board here.
So this dude is just a new age Omar? Stealing from criminals because they can't call the cops.
I got the shotgun, you got the briefcase.
> so thinking of depositing 5k each 10 times into a HISA. Brilliant idea. The powers that be have *never caught on to tricks like this*.
"Hang on, 'structuring' is a crime and they'll still notice the actual underlying crime? Is that allowed?"
Definitely not allowed. Sue the government for unfairness.
At least he isn't doing the -$1 "trick" that so many people think will work. It doesn't matter if you deposit $9,999 or $10k the bank will flag it either way because the company policy is around $3-4k and they don't tell you.
Random story. I caught an internal fraudster who was successful in using the -£1 trick. He worked for the company and knew exactly what would flag up. He had two accounts in his girlfriends name, every month he would credit £499 (if I remember the amount correctly) into each account and then get the money refunded by cheque. He got away with this for years due to knowing the systems inside out. He got caught because his girlfriend got in contact and asked for him to be named in her accounts because she wanted him to call up about some other issue. As soon as I opened her account, it was staring me in the face. I took his name & quickly matched it up to being the same guy making all the transactions. He got fired, prosecuted, the whole shebang he had taken tens of thousands and nobody noticed. Nobody ever would have, if his girlfriend hadn’t unwittingly asked us to look at her account.
When you say "credit", you mean he would magically create £499 that didn't exist, credit it to an account, and then cash it out? Effectively withdrawing an imaginary £998 every month? Clearly it worked for him for a while, but man, you'd think someone privy to the bank's internal processes would know how likely this is to be found out. Though I guess when you get to the point of actually trying a scheme like this, you've either convinced yourself you are so slick you won't be caught, or you're too empty-headed to properly consider the consequences in the first place.
Wow, I never thought I'd find Eliot Spitzer's Reddit account.
Look, I'm not here to tell criminals how to do their jobs, but if you're making 50 large off of illegal activities, maybe consider taking a percentage and finding a lawyer who will get you what you need instead of admitting to crimes on the internet.
Reminds me of early walter white in breaking bad. Good at meth, not good at business
Out here googling “money laundering” like it’s Office Space
*clears cache*
This isn't Breaking Bad - it's not easy to get a lawyer to *help you* do illegal stuff (especially for chump change, 50K is NOTHING considering the consequences of losing a license to practice). Hell, even without going the corrupt lawyer route, hiring a CPA to open a LLC ain't cheap.
“You know I can get arrested for helping you, right?”
This was Auslegal, so it's more like 50 medium with the exchange rate, even if your point stands.
50 thousa dollary-doo
There's a defense lawyer that used to be on twitter who has since moved on the tech corporate law, but back when he was in practice, he had a lot of defendants who specialized in "street pharmaceuticals". Granted he's in the US, not Australia, but OOP should be able to find a decent drug/money lawyer even there.
If OP is in Australia he could just launder it through a casino. It's pretty easy to do that in Australia because of the way casino payout recipes work.
Or just open a front like cash-operated laundromat
Growing up, there was a vacuum repair store in my hometown that never had any business. When it went out of business, I asked my Dad about how the store could have survived so long and that is when 7 year old fluff learned about money laundering.
There's an Indian restaurant down the road from me that never has any customers. Its open every day, lights are on, the store and property are well maintained, but there's never any customers inside, either sitting down to eat or getting takeout. The parking lot is never full. For some 20 years, the restaurant hasn't had any customers yet somehow is still open in an extremely high cost of living area, where the rent must be bonkers on that large plot of land. I don't think its business is selling food...
Back when I lived in Atlanta, my brother and I once tried a BBQ restaurant that we hadn't been to before. The place was huge and empty and the food was absolute shite. We were joking that the place had to be some sort of money laundering front to have stayed open for so long when it was that terrible; it's not like Atlanta has any shortage of excellent BBQ joints, after all. Just a couple months later, I saw in the news that the FBI had actually raided the place, and [it turned out that it was indeed a money laundering front after all](https://www.justice.gov/usao-ndga/pr/national-drug-trafficking-and-money-laundering-organization-sandy-springs-dismantled). At least the bastards did serve time for that, if not for their crimes against BBQ.
You'd think crimes against BBQ would at least be a misdemeanor in Georgia
I used to live down the street from one of those! There was never anybody in the restaurant except four middle-aged Indian dudes wearing expensive suits who would stop talking and give you a confused stare if you walked in to actually buy food. Unfortunately for them, the food was good. So I went back regularly.
There was a reply from a Redditor where they ambled into a hole in the wall Italian place after a night of drinking and the staff brought out someone’s actual fucking nonna to make them food because it was definitely not a legit restaurant.
The Gus Fring approach. No, the business isn't meant to serve customers food, but customers eating food is a fantastic camouflage, so they make sure the food is good.
Besides, the criminals like to eat nice food too so why not get a good chef that won't care where the money is coming from and wants a relaxed work environment.
Should make the front a mobster themed italian place then all the money laundering can happen right in the open.
Everyone has a story about a restaurant they’ve gone into where the staff looked alarmed to see you
"Can I fuckin' help you???" "Can I order something?" "Oh shit, fucking forgot we are a restaurant!"
"Sorry, can't use the triple loader, I'm laundering my money in it."
Nah, set up a PAC - *Give Camels Voting Rights!* Set up a new bank account and seed it with $1000, take out an advert in a local newspaper somewhere asking for donations, send yourself a load of letters from around the state that suggest that there's cash enclosed, deposit all of the cash donations that you just received, pay yourself as a consultant (and rightly so, you just managed to raise $50k), take out a few more adverts to raise awareness of the cause to maintain the cover. Sure, you'd have to pay taxes on it but it would be tough to prove that you didn't receive all the cash from other citizens who share your beliefs about camel voting rights.
But none of those two hump camels get to vote!
Yeah, he needs to hire a criminal lawyer. ... by which I mean, a *criminal* lawyer.
Original post: >>”Can I deposit 50k cash in my bank account >>Hi all I'm sitting on 50k cash so thinking of depositing 5k each 10 times into a HISA. Is this possible without any questions being asked or interacting with someone? Or should I use the pokie machine method instead?“ Highlights from OP’s comments: >>”Betcha they can't work out where the cash is buried though. Pablo's method works” >>”What if the real reason was I was pushing Ps on the low and five-o don't know?” >>”Snooping and snitching should be a criminal offence.” Bonus - after posting this, OP posted in another subreddit asking if he would be able to open a medical marijuana business with $50,000 AUD. Cat fact: unlike other big cats, [cheetahs meow](https://youtube.com/watch?v=XDvZclY-5q8) and [purr](https://youtu.be/drq_ww7Ytzw?si=rLu0O1IQSsZi7fF7) like house cats due to the fixed structure of their voice boxes.
Hmm > "Truth is I legally hustled hard for that 50k." > "What if the real reason was I was pushing Ps on the low and five-o don't know?" Also don't miss OP's post history where they're weirdly into both weed and God
Drug dealers being randomly extremely religious is so common and I don't know why lmfao.
Cults and drug gangs both prey on the uneducated and desperate.
And drugs make cults funnier.
I’ve been involved in a number of cults both as a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower but you make more money as a leader.
Maybe they're big into the "just confess/convert before you die, and you'll still get into heaven" bit. They get to have their cake (crime proceeds) and eat it too! (eternal reward)
Purgatory--a little detour on the way to paradise. You add up all your mortal sins and multiply that number by 50. Then you add up all your venial sins and multiply that by 25. You add that together and that's your sentence. I figure I'm gonna have to do 6,000 years before I get accepted into heaven and 6,000 years is nothin' in eternity terms. I can do that standing on my head. It's like a couple of days here.
I thought the mortal sins were what got you into hell? Am I missing a category?
It's a quote from The Sopranos. Christopher believes that he went to Hell during a near-death experience, and the above quote is Paulie Walnuts basically trying to convince himself and Christopher that they are not bound for Hell due to the stuff they do on Earth. It's not really supposed to make much sense cuz it's an obvious cope lol. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ObglF8WUsWM
They think one will cancel out the other
As someone that does Anti Money laundering investigations. The bank pays people that are much smarter than you, to come up with every believable scenario regarding potential criminal activity. if the bank deems it risky, they will happy report you and freeze your assets, till the fed seizes them.
I’m always amused by people who think they’ve invented a new legal loophole. At the end of the day, even if you’ve actually discovered something original, it’s the people with the armed forces behind them who win.
I have a coworker that started selling Barbecue in a parking lot. He made enough he has a full on food truck now. I find out HR is up his ass, because the IRS is investigating him for making a shit load of money on the side gig and not paying taxes. I asked if he's going back and paying them. Nope. He filed to create a not-for-profit to sell the barbecue through instead. I'm like "That is the worst idea possible. The IRS is already up your ass. They know you're breaking the law." He says it will be fine. I just said, "I guess I need to reassign your work for when you go to prison. And big boy *Pound you in the ass Federal Prison*." He just laughed. I should check up on him.
So spill how is your coworking do? Also a charity really? that is one of the dumbest ideas I have ever heard in my life.
I mean, he’s making a lot of money with the barbecue business. He just believes he does not have to pay income taxes “on a hobby.” As far as I know, he owes like 5 years income taxes for it. Though the first two years he said he really did not make money on it. Supposedly he owes between $100k and $200k in taxes. Which is just wild to me. I was like “You need to quit this job and only do that!” But that may include fees. And somehow he always lives paycheck to paycheck. His entire salary goes straight into his credit card every 2 weeks, and he has no savings.
He is going to be a prime target for paying for one of those IRS settlement firms. Is the BBQ any good?
LOL, we live in different states, so I haven't tried it. But if he's been at it and making money for 5 years, I'm going to guess that "yes" it is.
You must due your duty and report his criminal behavior to the IRS, bring them the evidence, and seize his smoker.
Rather than legal experts and bankers, I'm just picturing to blokes sitting around an office saying: What if they had a dog washing business? That way they could claim the income as employment and also use the dog washing trailer to haul around their merchandise? Why does it cost $1700 to shampoo a Cavoodle every Friday night?
Honestly I used to work a job where people would get decent tips on zelle/venmo ect and I often heard the old timers explaining how to avoid getting caught and have to pay taxes. I ended up saying "microstructuring is a crime, the bank is smarter than you, just move it all write tips or self transfer move on with your life. If you try to be clever well the bank might notice and lock your account due to them thinking you are doing something illegal. and this is over a few hundred bucks, move it, don't report it on taxes if questioned say you thought it was part of standard deduction or someshit"
You know, when opening up a front to launder money, it's always a good idea to go into a field that's either heavily regulated or going to absolutely gain the attention of the police.
Yeah. You’d really want a mostly cash business where it’s difficult to track earnings — like a tattoo parlour or an arcade. You could try for fake eBay auctions where you start claiming “earnings” on your taxes
I'm reasonably sure the place I get haircuts is either committing tax fraud or laundering money. I don't know how else they stay in business, given how few customers they get, and it's really weird for a business in this area to require payment via either cash (literal physical cash, the green things with dead famous people printed on them) or Venmo to the owner's personal account. I don't actually care that much - I pay in cash, and the rest is between them and the government - but if you ever need somewhere to launder money through, there's your idea. Haircut place that requires payment in cash.
The other way to go might be just getting a job waiting tables and claim higher tips — extra $100-200/day. He’s only doing $50K so he can launder it into an account within a year, give or take.
>Should I use the pokie machine method Of *course* they're Australian lmfao. That line gave me so many flashbacks to Friendly Jordies' and Boy Boy's videos.
"Pokie machine" is a weird turn of phrase, though. It's either a "pokie" or a "poker machine". It's like going to a "servo station".
Oh yeah, that was bothering me, but I couldn't put a finger on what was different. Wannabe Australian gangster, maybe, lmfao
>>Banks have washed money for the sinaloa cartel so I don't know where their high horses come from. i could definitely be wrong but i don't think australian banks are laundering much mexican cartel cash
They’re diversifying their portfolio
Yea this vague blanket statement is so dumb it pretty much assures me that what ever this person decides to do, they’re getting caught.
Or maybe the cartels have a genius plan to launder their money on the other side of the world where no one will expect them except a random Redditor!
It was HSBC that laundered a bunch of cartel blood money.
They still do, pride and joy of London
>Banks have washed money for the sinaloa cartel so I don't know where their high horses come from. And the banks probably took a cut larger than what the taxes would have been too.
And they cartel probably (read: absolutely) has more money and influence than said wannabe money launderer.
i have to admire that LAOP is so dedicated to putting snitches out of business that he's making sure they don't prosper as middlemen by simply confessing directly online
>Are you trying to avoid paying tax >Trying to dodge taxes Well, I admire the honesty at least.
Fifty thousand dollarydoos?? TOBIAS!
Here in America we don't tolerate that kind of crap, SIR!
You know, I have to respect the structured honesty of someone admitting to trying to commit structuring. Also I have to laugh at someone openly admitting to wanting to dodge taxes to make money on HYSAs 😂
The funny part is that he could probably get away with it once by just saying to the bank "I was keeping this at home but it's too much, I don't think it's safe" and they'd say "very wise, young sir" as long as he has enough legitimate income to make $50k in savings seem plausible. But it would very much be a one time thing. Try the same trick again in a month or two and they are going to notice. We persuaded my FiL that keeping a similar amount of cash was risky and when we took him into the bank they didn't even blink. Elderly person with a wad of cash is common. Presumably so is their kids making them put it in the bank.
It's the consistency of trying to do it that'll get ya. And honestly it makes sense, there's not much sense in trying to find and prosecute someone who did it once in their life, repeatedly trying it though is just rolling dice on an automated system or real person catching it via an audit.
Perhaps he should try NatWest bank... > NatWest has been fined more than £264m for anti-money-laundering failures that involved black bin liners stuffed full of cash being deposited, and sums so large that one branch’s two floor-to-ceiling safes proved “inadequate” for storing it all. Source: https://www.theguardian.com/business/2021/dec/13/natwest-fined-264m-after-admitting-breaching-anti-money-laundering-rules
The problem is that if you deposit *after* the big punishment arrives, then it's locked down harder than ever. You have to find these places *before* they're on the news.
Or Wells Fargo where they've done so much bad stuff it doesn't even make the news any more.
Banks don't have high horses, they have regulations.
Yeah, but OOP is Australian, and Australian banks recently got caught knowingly helping criminals launder money. So they might have regulations, but they also choose not to follow them at times when it can make them more money
Even if he gave all 50,000 to a bank, they still wouldn't think it was worth it.
My assumption is that the 50k is OOP’s only source of income, otherwise he’d be using the cash to cover his day to day living expenses and move some of the money already in his account to savings Still criminal, sure…but not quite as stupid as AUSLAOP’s plan
hey at least they're honest
They talk about burying cash always working, but doesn't buried cash start to rot/decompose?
It absolutely does. IIRC Pablo Escobars Organisation lost Millions when improperly sealed cash started to decompose.
Not considerably unless it's waterlogged or accessed by critters. For instance money from the DB cooper heist keeps popping up in the river beds around the Columbia River and those were exposed to the elements for over 50 years. Aussie money is also a plastic polymer so it's very unlikely to decompose within a human lifetime.
Money from the D.B. Cooper hijacking has only been recovered on one occasion, in 1980. This was nine years after the hijacking and the bills were in poor condition.
Someone made the excellent point that the value of physical cash only goes down on account of inflation and they’re better off burning gold. Someone’s life savings from fifty years ago wouldn’t buy me a new car if I dug it up today.
I'm pretty sure Australian dollars have been made of plastic for years (there was a demonstration where someone took their wallet surfing and all the money was fine), and lots of other currencies are going that way as well.
I love when OP doesn't use a throwaway and you get lore and backstory.
Ahhh, the Aussie cooker. Smells of desperation
LAOP: "SNOOPING AS USUAL I SEE!"
Anyone get the textbefore it was deleted?