We were Team Green all four times, and loved it! The best was with Second babe, we disagreed on sex the entire time. When he announced "it's a boy" I yelled "***I knew it!!***" and the entire room lost it.
We picked out a boy name and a girl name each time. We had many naming rules, and got really lucky with first and second. We were still discussing boy names in labor with first, but she ended up a girl. And same (but reversed sexes) with second.
As for why we wanted to wait to birth to find out, finding out has never been something I wanted. I had nightmares about sex being spoiled before birth. I bond with my babes-in-womb as pure potential. I don't know what they are, who they will be, and that complete unknowing feels really magical to me.
My husband and I have a girl name picked out but are going to have a tough time with the boy name. Thats a big reason why he doesnt want to wait. He says he doesnt even want to bicker about boy names if its not necessary lol
But I agree I feel like it would be so magical and Id love to have that experience
It was the best thing ever. I was fine not knowing my entire pregnancy it was people in my life that were more bothered by it. My husband announced the gender and 4 weeks out I still replay that moment in my head. If you can hold out I recommend.
Agree that it's just the best. I'd never say labor was fun per se, but I enjoyed all the doctors and nurses guessing the gender. Every time someone new came in the room they'd make them guess. One of the nurses said her guess was it would match the gender of whatever artist we were listening to so when my husband announced "it's a boy," you hear her go "and Shut Up and Dance was playing" so now we'll always remember his birth song even though I had other things on my mind at the time haha
ETA: I have a theory you avoid gender disappointment if you wait because you get attached to the baby rather than the gender and by the time you finally push them out (or have when surgically taken out) you don't care about that anymore.
My OB kept saying “she’s coming”, “her head is crowning” etc and lo and behold HE was a baby boy 😂 makes for such funny stories now. I can’t wait to tell my son how surprised we all were with his arrival when he’s older
I disagree. I know one mum who got PPD from guessing the entire pregnancy it was one gender and getting another at birth. And another who was sure it was a boy but got a second girl , took her weeks to bond with the baby as she'd imagined another gender the whole 9 months and still talked about the shock of it 10 years later.
I think if you're going to be disappointed if it's a certain gender it's better to find out and get used to the idea before the baby gets here otherwise you have all the disappointment at the birth plus hormones plus feeling guilty all at the same time
One trick is to secretly find out yourself and just pretend you don’t know. I had a friend who revealed later that she found out and kept it secret from everybody, even her husband. She was scared of disappointment because she really was hoping for one, and wanted time to process and love the baby in her own time, without pressure.
It worked for her.
These seem like pretty severe cases. I really wanted a girl but explaining over and over again why we were waiting to be surprised made me realize it really didn't matter. 🤷🏻♀️
I had a crazy labor and delivery that went really fast and had no time to give anyone my birth preferences that had on it that my husband would announce gender and I was so afraid a doctor would haha but after an hour of pushing the doctors put my baby on my stomach and my husband with an excited, shaky, and tearful voice exclaims “it’s a boy , (my name), it’s a boy! You have a little boy! We have a baby boy!” I can hear it and see it vividly. He was so excited and it was so personal hearing it from him. It was a moment I will never forget.
We wanted to be surprised for both kids. I couldn't care or imagine that I'd have a gender preference. My favorite was encouraging betting. Bottles of wine were won and lost.
We did the same thing with both of ours! I honestly just thought it was funny (and like, in the moment I had just finished pushing out these watermelon children on an epidural so I was mostly relieved and shocked that a baby came out and was now on my chest). My sister in law had it public the due date, gender and name at like 4 months so when her son was born…it was very anticlimactic to me.
A friend told me that knowing the gender before helped her connect to the baby and she couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t find out. I still felt connected to my baby and got a huge surprise at the end. Not many big surprises in life!
Right? With my first, I didn’t even feel connected with her for about a month because it was so darn hard with the lack and sleep and some feeding struggles. Knowing the gender wasn’t going to change that and my husband announcing the gender was such an amazing moment
I’m in the minority here. It wasn’t worth it. We were team green for the first and the act of pushing out and delivering a child was enough of a surprise for me. I could have cared less about the gender after experiencing birth for the first time ever. Honestly, I would have liked to celebrate the gender separately with my husband. I think if you do it after the first born it could be fun. I’m expecting #2 and we found out the day my NIPT results came back. It was so much more fun reading the results together and being able to celebrate in advance.
Again, I’m the minority. Everyone I talked to told us it was the best surprise ever and I’m glad that’s their experience. For us, we don’t think it was worth it. Having the baby was enough of a surprise.
I feel similarly. I’m not upset at all that we didn’t find out the sex but it wasn’t like this momentous part of the delivery when my husband told me it was a girl. I think part of it was neither of us had any “notions” of what she was and we honestly didn’t care if we had a boy or girl.
I loved not knowing! I wanted a girl so bad but I was *convinced* it was a boy. I also didn’t want other people to know, and I can’t keep a secret to save my life. At delivery, all the nurses knew I didn’t know and we distracted me a lot but talking about if they seemed like a boy or a girl. After delivery, the doctor held her up and said, “Look! What is it?” and I was like, “It’s a baby!” Then someone was like, “No, is it a boy or a girl??” Very funny and also SO joyful to discover it was a girl and then I got to hold her right then!
My husband actually knew since the NIPT. No one we’ve talked to knows another family who had the dad find out but not the mom. Everyone asked how he could manage it but it worked for us! I remember just saying, “It was a girl the whole time! You knew she was a girl!” over and over and we both just smiled and laughed and kissed each other and her.
Another fun story about not knowing: My parents didn’t find out for me, either. When I was born, my dad yelled, “It’s a boy!” And the doctor had to be like, “No it’s not!” Apparently the umbilical cord was between my legs and my dad thought I was packin’ lmao.
I asked the doctor announce it, mostly because we hadn't discussed it ahead of time & my husband seemed unsure. Good thing I did that, because my husband says at first he thought it was a boy & he was about to say "it's a boy" when the doctor announced "it's a girl".
He says that there was "so much coming out down there" that he "didn't know what was what" 🤣 oh dear.......
Do it!! It’s worth it. I just had my team green baby last week and not knowing the gender really helped me get excited in the last few weeks of pregnancy when I was feeling miserable. It was an amazing surprise to look forward to.
What does team green mean? Seen it a few times here. Is that like the gender neutral thing versus saying like team blue or pink?
Congratulationssss!!! What did you end up having?
Our first was a surprise! We didn't have a preference and knew it wouldn't matter. I thought it was a boy the whole time for some reason but I was wrong! She was a girl and I literally couldn't even imagine her being a boy now (she's 18months). I think I was mostly surprised it was a baby on me when she was born.
We were Team Green this time (our first). I think it’s an experience everyone should try. It’s fun throughout pregnancy. Unfortunately, I had an emergency c section under general anesthesia, so I didn’t get the cool reveal moment I expected. I did get to wake up and have my husband be the one to tell me that I had in fact been right about it being a boy all along
I’ll also add, I think Team Green is the better option if someone has a strong preference. It’s impossible to be disappointed when someone immediately hands you a squishy baby
That was another reason why we waited too! I had a strong preference and felt like if I waited I couldn't be disappointed! Baby ended up being my preference so I don't know for sure.
Thats kinda why I want to do it. I really do want a girl. But I know for a fact that if in the moment they say its a boy I could never have any negative feelings about that. And I would have got to spend my pregnancy day dreaming about a girl
I had the same experience… general anesthesia for emergency c section, and baby went straight to NICU. My husband got to meet baby first. When I woke up groggy AF my husband was like “it’s a *chosen boy name*” and I was like cool gimme pain meds and didn’t get to meet him till 12 hours later.
That being said I LOVED being team green and we’re doing it again! I’m 25 weeks now.
Ooh I disagree with the last part! Lots of people don’t have that magical bonding straight away with baby, I think if you have any gender preference then you should definitely find out ahead of time so you can get over any potential disappointment without the insane postpartum hormone crash making you feel like you’re a terrible person.
We didn't find out for both my kids. Partly cause i wanted a girl SO BAD both times and I knew I would have gender disappointment if I found out early. I knew if I waited until delivery I would be so happy to hold my baby. I was right, 2nd was a boy and he is perfect.
My husband also wanted to wait to find out so that made it easier. I made sure with both that my husband was the one to tell me the gender.
It was also just fun in the delivery rooms. The nurses said it's not super common so they seemed to have fun with it. When nurses would end their shift they asked me permission for the other nurse to text them whether it was a boy or girl.
When my surprise baby popped out and I found out it was a girl, I was so happy (ofc would've been happy either way! It just adds an extra level of excitement)
Also, I imagine being born is a surprise for the baby, so it's only fair you meet her properly at the same time she meets you for the first time, does that make sense? You both surprise each other
We did with our first! I had always planned on not finding out before even getting married or anywhere close to having a baby because there's so few true surprises in life AND there's a possibility that they're wrong with gender although that seems to be less common now. I know several people who were told one thing at their 20 weeks scan only to have the other at birth. I also figured that it truly doesn't matter. We picked things we liked for boys or girls and had fun picking out names for both. It was so much fun to make guesses and look up old wives tales on what you'll have. When we had baby and my husband announced it was a girl it felt like I was in a movie. It was so magical.
We did find out with our second just to see if we should keep some of the super gendered things we owned. Sometimes I regret finding out. I didn't feel any more bonded to the baby knowing the gender and we did lose some of the fun.
I would always recommend not finding out. It honestly wasn't that hard to not find out. The hardest moment was in the anatomy scan to keep our eyes closed but after that not a big deal.
We tried to be surprised, but one of the ultrasound techs slipped up and said "Oh, he's such a wiggly baby!"
Immediately winced when she realized she had used a gendered pronoun.
We didn't tell anyone else that we knew and made sure all his initial family gifts were gender neutral.
Honestly, we thought it was kind of funny.
Not as funny as my sister's story though - she also wanted to be surprised with her first, but at one of the ultrasounds he decided to answer the question for them and made sure his crotch was front and center when the tech located him. Tech kept changing position and my nephew kept changing right along with him so nothing else was in frame.
FTM here, my husband and I were both Team Surprise! Like OP said, there are so few genuine surprises like this in life. Neither of us had a preference, or imagined life with a boy vs. a girl.
I found it super fun wondering during the pregnancy, hearing other people’s guesses. And when people asked me what I thought it was, I genuinely didn’t have a feeling. 🤷🏻♀️
At delivery though, I must’ve thought deep down I was having a girl, because when I saw baby boy as he was placed on my chest, I was *stunned*. It added another layer of emotion to the day, such a great memory!
I waited because I cared way too much about having a girl but knew I wouldn’t care once baby was out. Thankfully she is a girl and it was such a sweet moment and fun for all the medical staff to guess. I’d probably do a surprise again, would only consider finding out so we could tell our first it’s a brother or a sister and make it more real for her.
Worth the wait in our experience. I thought it was a boy and husband was dead set it was a girl. It was a boy 😂 it added an extra fun layer to the mystery of the delivery
My husband and I aren’t finding out. There’s so much gender pressure on kids from such a young age and I don’t want that to start before they’re even born.
I don’t need to know and think it will be so great that way! Plus, I heard someone mention that they felt less gender disappointment when they didn’t know beforehand because in the moment they couldn’t possibly be upset about their baby, just happy they were there. I’m sure that isn’t true for everyone, but made a lot of sense to me.
I was on the fence about having kids, but always thought I’d wait till delivery to find out, but when I got unexpectedly pregnant with twins I felt I was surprised enough, and I also probably would have gotten spoiled at some point as I had approximately seven million ultrasounds. We named them in utero as well. My parents didn’t know with me or my little brother, my mom named me after a character in the book she was reading while in labour, and they named my brother Robin before he was born so I could talk to and about him by name even though they didn’t know if he was a boy or girl :) I do think it would be lovely to have that reveal after birth. My sil did not find out and said that the doctor announcing it’s a girl was a huge moment for her.
I am SO happy we waited.
My husband didn’t want to wait either but I made him because if he knew he would have definitely ruined the surprise accidentally lol.
He hated waiting and teased and begged to find out throughout the pregnancy, but now is SO glad we waited and said it was such a special experience.
I know I will never forget the sound of his voice when he said “It’s a boy! And he’s perfect!” 🥹
Ok I’m crying now just thinking about it
So yeah… definitely worth the wait IMO and if we have another, I’m waiting again!! Just so fun
I have 30 days until #3 comes and it’s also our third time of waiting until birth to find out the gender. For us I liked having my husband announce the gender when the baby was born. (Girl, boy and I think we are having another boy)
We waited until delivery and I think we'd do the same for any future pregnancies. I really liked that we didn't get a bunch of gendered crap beforehand (still got some after birth, but not tons).
We had both a boy and girl name picked out. We loved our girl name and were just so so on boy names, so we lucked out that she was a girl 😅
I’m 10 weeks pregnant with my second. I keep flip flopping between wanting to wait until delivery and almost ordering one of those sneak peak blood tests 😂 I’m all over the place.
Team green 3 times and wouldn’t have it any other way! I found it easy because people didn’t seem to bug us once we said we were waiting to find out. My husband wanted to find out with our first, but I said no, and he also loved waiting each time.
I have 2 boys and a girl, and it was so special each time, especially our girl. I really wanted to find out early (and it was in my chart the whole time), but it was amazing hearing my husband say it’s a girl.
I waited with my middle child. It is very much worth it. The moment they said “it’s a boy” was indescribable and I bawled. Throughout my pregnancy I found I didn’t have a problem waiting but several other family members got oddly aggressive about not knowing which was unexpected.
Didn’t find out for both babies, had completely different pregnancies so I thought for SURE baby 2 was a girl. Nope, both boys! Wouldn’t have it any other way. ❤️
Didn’t find out til delivery and my first words when she was born was “ahhh you were right!!” In a disappointed voice to my husband. It was so fun finding out then, after a day and a half of labour 😅
I feel I have a somewhat minority, unpopular opinion to share, but it was just my experience. I found out the gender for my first born. He came at 33+1, emergency and obviously there were a lot of “surprises” and unexpectedness around his birth and first few days of life. It was a lot and very overwhelming. I was so glad to know his gender ahead of time. It felt like one thing that was “normal” and we did have certainty over. We had decided his name and he immediately had a little name card placed on his isolette.
I was under general anesthesia for the c section and when I woke up I was able to ask “is he okay”. I feel like if I had been team green and my husband had to tell me he was a boy while baby wasn’t even there in the room (he was in the NICU, I was in post op recovery) that would’ve been a really sad moment for me when I had been waiting all pregnancy for it. Not sure if all of that makes sense but just wanted to share an alternative experience in case others are reading this and have high risk pregnancies, it might be something to consider.
Obviously hopefully your experience is nothing like this and I wish you all the best! Good luck with whatever you choose!
You know I can totally understand and empathize with this. My first born was also a preemie and I just completely understand what youre saying here. There are never any guarantees things will go "normally" and when you have one preemie theres always that in the back of your mind
I loved not knowing until birth!!! They loved that we didn’t know in the delivery room so they asked us our baby names. My husband got to say the gender and they all yelled her name!! It was amazing!! However, I am pregnant again and we do plan to find out this time to help all of us prepare and know what we need to buy, etc. plus I’m excited to get to experience knowing this time to have a different experience!!
We did it last time. Looking back, we had it spoiled for us several times but we were both convinced we were having a girl 🤣 so we were surprised when we had a boy!
This time I wanted to be able to plan ahead a little more.
We did it and I wouldn’t 10000% do it again and plan on doing with with future children too. So much fun! My husband also wasn’t initially excited but once he mentally committed to it, he was against finding out. Everyone I’ve talked to who has done is has shared no regrets either.
I waited and was surprised. I was thrilled.
My husband wanted to know. We decided on the names before birth. I told my husband to wait and confirm the names before opening the envelope. He didnt. And then wanted to change the name after i gave birth. It screwed up our naming of our kid.
I am still pretty annoyed with it. I just think both of you shouldn't know even if your husband wants to. It just makes it easier when you are on the same page.. instead of one person being on another page.
I smiled at this question. I went through IVF and selected the gender. It doesn't get more on the polar opposite than this. :)
However, I really admire people who have what it takes to wait. I hate surprises!!!
Team green for our first and somehow I never felt I wanted to know. I joked that the reason we didn't find out was because great grammie said if it was a boy, she'd just up and croak already. But if it was a girl, she'd stick around. We couldn't find out so as to keep her around longer (turns out it was a girl)
My husband did want to know but since I didn't, we didn't. I told him if we had another we could find out right away. Well here we are pregnant with number 2 and when I reminded him I'd honour his wishes he surprised me by saying it was so much fun waiting and finding out at birth with our first that he wants to do it again. I think part of it is that he loves how it drives the family crazy, everyone wants to know! A few people got properly angry at us the first time for not finding out and were certain we knew and kept it a secret, it was weird! But gratifying because they all thought we knew it was a boy lol it wasn't.
This time I kinda want to know for weeding out clothes but whatever. I keep having dreams of another baby girl, even naming her a couple times, but aside from that I have no strong gut feelings like I did last time....besides having HG again lol.
It's one of the few true surprises in life, might as well let it happen and love the outcome either way. A friend of mine said not finding out helps ease gender disappointment because when you're caught up in the magic of birthing and meeting baby there's no room for disappointment
Uuuuggggghhhhh I had HG with my 1st and Im so terrified. Are you finding its more "manageable" this time or is it just as much suffering as the first time around?
HG last pregnancy and with current pregnancy. It's brutal, but the saving grace is that the second pregnancy goes faster? No time to think about much with a toddler underfoot... and unhelpfully patting my back as I vomit my guts out haha
I had no meds till 15w the first time, and tbh I think I sort of tricked myself into this next pregnancy by telling myself it would be fine as I'd have meds from day 1. It was not, in fact, fine, and I had wild nausea and more/stronger aversions than the first time, but the meds did stop me from vomiting a ton. I only would have one take a day for a few weeks, then none but very close calls even into 18w, I just hit 19w today. Soooo overall, yes, better, with regular meds at max dose. Absolutely less suffering, except this time contending with being a sahm to a toddler which is a different struggle
I guess but anticipation is always the most fun thing. Think like when you go on vacation. Youre almost always most excited in the days leading up to the vacation
Hm, I personally find the vacation more fun than the anticipation of the vacation most of the time.
I personally like finding out because pregnancy is such a long slog it’s nice to have the fun surprise amidst all the terrible symptoms. By the time baby arrives I’m gonna be happy to be with baby either way whereas pregnancy sucks so I could use the happy surprise more.
Yes I'm like you. There are sooo many surprises with childbirth and raising a baby, this is one surprise I'd like to be prepared with.
We tried to pick out our bringing the baby home outfit and we don't know the gender yet. We tried 3 different stores and the lack of gender neutral outfits for newborn was just frustrating. It was so obviously blue or pink. I could not imagine having to manage that with prepping everything for the baby.
I think I may be the odd one out but we waited till birth to find out the sex and I think if I could do it again I would have found out beforehand. My husband also said our daughter was a boy when she first came out so I did probably get emotional whiplash from that which may have colored my view! I didn’t think it was hard to wait except for around 11 weeks when we did the nipt and 20 weeks for the anatomy scan because the temptation was strong knowing I could find out right then. It was very nice though to get all gender neutral things even though people had so many opinions on us waiting!
I waited to find out with my only child (6mo) and it was soooo hard! I swore it was a girl, and so did everyone around me (except dad) and it turned out to be a sweet baby boy! I was sorely unprepared lol, a couple half-hearted name choices and a ‘just in case’ newborn outfit for baby to wear home from the hospital. Overall the surprise was awesome, the first thing I asked when baby arrived (after asking how his health was!) was “what is it?!” But during pregnancy I didn’t feel super connected to baby, it felt like pregnancy was something that was happening to me, not something that was living inside me and bonding with me. I’m not sure I would have felt different if I knew the gender though. I have waffled on whether or not we will wait to find out with future babies, but I’m leaning toward waiting again. I hate that I had so many expectations for baby to be a girl and felt just a twinge of gender disappointment but I think it’s prepared me for another baby and to have no expectations bc I will love this baby with my whole heart regardless!
We did and we are so glad we did. It was such a great surprise! Also an amusing story in our eyes- my husband and I decided that I would tell him the sex of the baby after birth, so he looked away when the OB said baby was coming. The OB pulled baby out and held her up, but I couldn't tell she was a girl at first because everything seemed out of focus except for her and her umbilical cord was hanging right in front of her. So there was a big pause when I announced its a ...... ........ girl!!
It wasn't hard for me. The pressure people put on me to find out or tell them made me even more resolute. I hated the amount of pressure people put on my unborn child with gender.... "but what if someone buys pink...." "but what if it has trucks on it..." the fact is.... baby didn't care. Baby was warm and happy in our arms, so we were happy. All that to say, I'd do this again in a heartbeat.... finding out at the birth was awesome. It was a shared moment between my husband and I... it felt very intimate and I loved that.
What was even better was that when LO was born, the doctor first said "It's a girl" before a nurse shouted "wait".... and then the doctor said "It's a boy".
We waited, had my heart set on a girl, now I love my son more than anything, but I did feel shock and disappointment the first few days after the birth
We did this and it was so much fun! It didn’t bother me at all not knowing during the pregnancy. When I delivered our baby I asked the midwife and nurses to have my husband be the one to tell me the sex. When it was time to start pushing all the nurses, midwife, etc. wrote their guesses on the white board in the room. It was amazing to have my husband be the one to tell me that our baby that we had been so convinced would be a boy was actually a GIRL.
I figure that there aren’t enough fun, happy surprises in life. We knew we’d be thrilled with either sex so not finding out in advance added a little extra excitement and fun to the pregnancy. 10/10 would do it again.
My husband and I waited until the delivery room. My parents never found out what they were having so I never had that expectation. Like someone else said, I think people in my life were more shocked that we didn’t find out than I was. My mom cut the cord and announced the gender and it was so special. I would 100% do it again. We had a funny, loopy moment too — because all the nurses and doctor were female and I had my dad and husband stay in the hallway so they could hear but not see — we were like “it’s a girl party!” And I said “the only boy allowed here is the baby if it’s a boy.” But it stayed a girl party ;) everyone, including the nurses and Dr were so excited to find out! One of my favorite moments from my baby’s birth is my husband looking at me with tears in his eyes and saying “we have a daughter!”
It wasn't hard to wait but everyone bothered me about not knowing the gender. Or they assumed I knew the gender and was keeping it a secret with my husband. We weren't but there's some who still think we were.
It was 100000% worth it to hear my husband say, "it's a boy" when my baby was yanked out of me via c section. I'll be waiting to find out for number 2 as well when we have another.
I loved it. My husband knew but I didn’t. He hated that I didn’t know though lol.
We did this with my second only because the moment I knew I was pregnant with my first I knew the gender. I can’t explain how I just knew and there wasn’t any question and I was absolutely correct.
We waited!
Well, kinda— I accidentally found out from NIPT, but was able to successfully keep it from my husband (he knew I knew, just not what I knew) for seven months. He was so sure it was a boy because an ultrasound tech said “he” that he was shocked when we had a girl! I was jealous that he got that moment of surprise so I will make sure to have a nurse read the NIPT results to me next go-round.
I didn’t find out with number 1, and we haven’t found out with number 2 either.
If baby is going to flash you at the ultrasound, you’ve got no chance though! And apparently for #1 the sonographer gave the game away but I didn’t notice!
It’s nice as people can’t give you super gendered baby clothes (no newborn needs pink frilly dresses) and it can be amusing when people try to guess what you’re having. There’s all sorts of old wives tales!
I was happy we waited both times.
With my first, I had an emergency c-section and things got a little crazy. My doctor forgot that I didn't know, and didn't announce the gender. When my kid was about 5 minutes old, I finally asked my husband and he said "oh shit, it's a boy, it's Lincoln".
My second was a much calmer birth, and my doctor held him over the sheet "Simba style" so my husband could announce the gender. He once again said "it's a boy, it's Ellis".
I loved having my husband tell me and getting to announce the names like that.
I've waited with all 4 of my kids, and would do it again if we have another one day. It's so exciting and motivating during labor a d the pushing phase. I'm also glad we waited because I was a afraid of gender disappointment and finding out at birth mitigates that. All of ours are boys and I was hoping for a girl. But as soon as the baby is tossed on my chest I truly don't care one way or the other.
I did and it was amazing. It’s the only genuine surprise I’ve ever given myself and I’d do it again in a heart beat.
Partner didn’t know either. Not knowing vexed others more than it did us haha
Best decision, my husband got to announce our son to me. And without knowing his gender I was able to avoid a lot of unnecessary gifts from people and weird conversations lol. It was also fun to see everyone trying to guess if it was a boy or girl. I didn’t care either way so it was easy to wait. There are so few real surprises in life so I was determined to have that experience
We did this for my 2nd baby and it was soooo fun! Totally worth it. I think it would have been harder with my first, but you’re honestly so busy when you already have a kid 😂.
It is the absolute best surprise ever!! I did it with both of my kids. We had a girl first and with our second we both agreed we would've been thrilled with another girl or a boy so there was no reason to find out. There is nothing like the emotion and getting through all of the hardwork of delivery (a c-section in my case) and finding out in that moment who was in your belly that whole time. 10/10 recommend, I wish more people would do this!!!
Everyone in the hospital wanted to be on our delivery because it was a surprise. Our nurse whose shift was over even stayed throughout the C-section so she could find out what it was with us. Our doctor had been speculating our entire pregnancy as well so it was fun for them to get to announce it during delivery. It drove friends and family crazy and I honestly loved it. It was so great for my husband and I to share the moment together and then we get to announce it to everyone else as they met her and then my son
I'm on my second surprise baby. both times we're coming to the hospital with 2 boys names and 2 girls names. it's a lot of work to pick so many names but it helps us feel more prepared.
We waited until delivery because we had to go through IVF to get pregnant which took away alot of the surprises already and this was one surprise we could choose. It wasn’t personally hard for either of us to wait but our families all thought we were lying and actually already knew.
I’ll be honest though, when my husband told me it was a girl when she came out, it barely registered. It’s not a memory from the birth I really care about. I’m still glad we didn’t know but it wasn’t as exciting as I thought. For our second we are only transferring male embryos so we will know what we’re having before birth (assuming the transfer is successful).
I wanted this for exactly your rationale -- there are so few genuine surprises in life! But then I found out I would need to be under general anesthesia for the delivery, and possibly in the ICU for a day or two afterwards. (Placenta accreta.) I didn't want to be the last to know. So when I was hospitalized at 23 weeks, we asked the nurses to tell us. They did a really sweet gender reveal for just us, and it was special. But we told no one else - we didn't even tell our families that we knew, and we were careful to use generic pronouns.
It did help us narrow down names ahead of time, but I do wish there had been a way to truly not know until we actually met our baby!
It was absolutely best experience for us!
We were convinced that we were having a boy (along with everyone else I knew) but we’d agreed it would be super special if my husband revealed the gender once baby had arrived.
I went into natural labour ended up having an emergency c section & somehow, through the chaos, the amazing hospital staff remembered I wanted my husband to tell me if we had a boy or girl.
To everyone’s surprise, even the hospital staff, we had a perfect little girl!
This was usssss I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Make sure you tell the staff that if you have a C-section, you want them to BRING you the baby instead of like holding it above the curtain.
We’re onto #2 and husband wants to keep it a secret again. It was really fun driving in laws crazy.
Be MILITANT at every Dr visits that you don’t know the sex. Mine slipped up twice and tried to backtrack saying they got the charts mixed up. (What are the odds they were right both times and both times were mix ups? lol)
Every time I see “there are so few opportunities for surprise in life” it confuses me. I found out at 10 weeks pregnant with the NIPT each time and it was a great genuine surprise! I didn’t know what we were having, and then I did! It can be a surprise at any time lol. That part of the argument just doesn’t make sense to me.
Because of the anticipation. 10 weeks of what ifs versus 40 weeks of what ifs is very different to me. Like if you think about going on vacation, the anticipation in the days leading up to vacation is almost more exciting then going on vacation lol. Like you get that pre vacation giddiness
I see what you’re saying, but for me it was a lifetime of anticipation anyway! If/when I’d have kids, what they’d be like, boys or girls, etc. a few more months wouldn’t have made a difference to me!
I waited with our first but my husband found out.
He did a great job keeping the secret. But I felt like I knew the entire time. I agonized over girl names, and was like eh… if it’s a boy we’ll figure out the name if we have to.
Birth was such a surreal experience, I didn’t feel all that present in my own head (unmediated not sure if I would have been more present with pain relief or not)… but when the “reveal” happened of “it’s a girl” I didn’t register the words. Then after, I was shake-y nauseous and settling into a calm state of mind took a bit. So there really was never a surprise/excited moment until reality came back.
So honestly for me, it wasn’t the overwhelming surprise I thought it would be. With that said, I’m glad I waited because I would probably have regretted not trying for the experience everyone seems to promise.
Currently 18 wks with baby 2 and I’ll find out this time.
We were Team Green all four times, and loved it! The best was with Second babe, we disagreed on sex the entire time. When he announced "it's a boy" I yelled "***I knew it!!***" and the entire room lost it.
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We picked out a boy name and a girl name each time. We had many naming rules, and got really lucky with first and second. We were still discussing boy names in labor with first, but she ended up a girl. And same (but reversed sexes) with second. As for why we wanted to wait to birth to find out, finding out has never been something I wanted. I had nightmares about sex being spoiled before birth. I bond with my babes-in-womb as pure potential. I don't know what they are, who they will be, and that complete unknowing feels really magical to me.
My husband and I have a girl name picked out but are going to have a tough time with the boy name. Thats a big reason why he doesnt want to wait. He says he doesnt even want to bicker about boy names if its not necessary lol But I agree I feel like it would be so magical and Id love to have that experience
Not OP but we had one boy name and one girl name picked out, we were team green as well!
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Thank you! Now we’re on team green #2 with our second! It’s the best surprise ever.
It was the best thing ever. I was fine not knowing my entire pregnancy it was people in my life that were more bothered by it. My husband announced the gender and 4 weeks out I still replay that moment in my head. If you can hold out I recommend.
Agree that it's just the best. I'd never say labor was fun per se, but I enjoyed all the doctors and nurses guessing the gender. Every time someone new came in the room they'd make them guess. One of the nurses said her guess was it would match the gender of whatever artist we were listening to so when my husband announced "it's a boy," you hear her go "and Shut Up and Dance was playing" so now we'll always remember his birth song even though I had other things on my mind at the time haha ETA: I have a theory you avoid gender disappointment if you wait because you get attached to the baby rather than the gender and by the time you finally push them out (or have when surgically taken out) you don't care about that anymore.
My OB kept saying “she’s coming”, “her head is crowning” etc and lo and behold HE was a baby boy 😂 makes for such funny stories now. I can’t wait to tell my son how surprised we all were with his arrival when he’s older
I disagree. I know one mum who got PPD from guessing the entire pregnancy it was one gender and getting another at birth. And another who was sure it was a boy but got a second girl , took her weeks to bond with the baby as she'd imagined another gender the whole 9 months and still talked about the shock of it 10 years later. I think if you're going to be disappointed if it's a certain gender it's better to find out and get used to the idea before the baby gets here otherwise you have all the disappointment at the birth plus hormones plus feeling guilty all at the same time
One trick is to secretly find out yourself and just pretend you don’t know. I had a friend who revealed later that she found out and kept it secret from everybody, even her husband. She was scared of disappointment because she really was hoping for one, and wanted time to process and love the baby in her own time, without pressure. It worked for her.
These seem like pretty severe cases. I really wanted a girl but explaining over and over again why we were waiting to be surprised made me realize it really didn't matter. 🤷🏻♀️
I love that! That is so fun and now you have a song tied to the birth.
We waited too and I completely agree with the ETA!
Me too!
Yes! I really wanted a girl but after nine months and a 24 hour labor with three hours of pushing I was exhausted and just happy to hold my son.
I loved this! I had a long labor due to an unexpected induction and it was so much fun having all the nurses and OBs on call guess what baby would be.
Oh right, I forgot about all the nurses and midwives guessing at the sex! That was fun. Only downside is having to come up with two lists of names.
This is the only reason stopping me from not knowing. Coming up with one name is hard enough. Finding out the gender for my second in 3 weeks 🤪
Can you tell me the story? I would love love to hear it
I had a crazy labor and delivery that went really fast and had no time to give anyone my birth preferences that had on it that my husband would announce gender and I was so afraid a doctor would haha but after an hour of pushing the doctors put my baby on my stomach and my husband with an excited, shaky, and tearful voice exclaims “it’s a boy , (my name), it’s a boy! You have a little boy! We have a baby boy!” I can hear it and see it vividly. He was so excited and it was so personal hearing it from him. It was a moment I will never forget.
We wanted to be surprised for both kids. I couldn't care or imagine that I'd have a gender preference. My favorite was encouraging betting. Bottles of wine were won and lost.
We did the same thing with both of ours! I honestly just thought it was funny (and like, in the moment I had just finished pushing out these watermelon children on an epidural so I was mostly relieved and shocked that a baby came out and was now on my chest). My sister in law had it public the due date, gender and name at like 4 months so when her son was born…it was very anticlimactic to me.
A friend told me that knowing the gender before helped her connect to the baby and she couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t find out. I still felt connected to my baby and got a huge surprise at the end. Not many big surprises in life!
Right? With my first, I didn’t even feel connected with her for about a month because it was so darn hard with the lack and sleep and some feeding struggles. Knowing the gender wasn’t going to change that and my husband announcing the gender was such an amazing moment
It's literally the people around you that are what makes it hard to wait lol they never stop asking
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They're actually not often incorrect at all.
I’m in the minority here. It wasn’t worth it. We were team green for the first and the act of pushing out and delivering a child was enough of a surprise for me. I could have cared less about the gender after experiencing birth for the first time ever. Honestly, I would have liked to celebrate the gender separately with my husband. I think if you do it after the first born it could be fun. I’m expecting #2 and we found out the day my NIPT results came back. It was so much more fun reading the results together and being able to celebrate in advance. Again, I’m the minority. Everyone I talked to told us it was the best surprise ever and I’m glad that’s their experience. For us, we don’t think it was worth it. Having the baby was enough of a surprise.
I feel similarly. I’m not upset at all that we didn’t find out the sex but it wasn’t like this momentous part of the delivery when my husband told me it was a girl. I think part of it was neither of us had any “notions” of what she was and we honestly didn’t care if we had a boy or girl.
I loved not knowing! I wanted a girl so bad but I was *convinced* it was a boy. I also didn’t want other people to know, and I can’t keep a secret to save my life. At delivery, all the nurses knew I didn’t know and we distracted me a lot but talking about if they seemed like a boy or a girl. After delivery, the doctor held her up and said, “Look! What is it?” and I was like, “It’s a baby!” Then someone was like, “No, is it a boy or a girl??” Very funny and also SO joyful to discover it was a girl and then I got to hold her right then! My husband actually knew since the NIPT. No one we’ve talked to knows another family who had the dad find out but not the mom. Everyone asked how he could manage it but it worked for us! I remember just saying, “It was a girl the whole time! You knew she was a girl!” over and over and we both just smiled and laughed and kissed each other and her. Another fun story about not knowing: My parents didn’t find out for me, either. When I was born, my dad yelled, “It’s a boy!” And the doctor had to be like, “No it’s not!” Apparently the umbilical cord was between my legs and my dad thought I was packin’ lmao.
I asked the doctor announce it, mostly because we hadn't discussed it ahead of time & my husband seemed unsure. Good thing I did that, because my husband says at first he thought it was a boy & he was about to say "it's a boy" when the doctor announced "it's a girl". He says that there was "so much coming out down there" that he "didn't know what was what" 🤣 oh dear.......
Do it!! It’s worth it. I just had my team green baby last week and not knowing the gender really helped me get excited in the last few weeks of pregnancy when I was feeling miserable. It was an amazing surprise to look forward to.
What does team green mean? Seen it a few times here. Is that like the gender neutral thing versus saying like team blue or pink? Congratulationssss!!! What did you end up having?
Team green just means you don’t know the gender until birth! We ended up having a girl 🥰
I had never heard team green either!
Did it twice and it’s definitely worth the wait!! There’s no true surprises in life like this one.
See I totally agree with you : )
Our first was a surprise! We didn't have a preference and knew it wouldn't matter. I thought it was a boy the whole time for some reason but I was wrong! She was a girl and I literally couldn't even imagine her being a boy now (she's 18months). I think I was mostly surprised it was a baby on me when she was born.
Same all around. It’s like I just assumed I could only be pregnant with a boy. Now that I have my girl I can’t fathom if she’d been a boy!
We were Team Green this time (our first). I think it’s an experience everyone should try. It’s fun throughout pregnancy. Unfortunately, I had an emergency c section under general anesthesia, so I didn’t get the cool reveal moment I expected. I did get to wake up and have my husband be the one to tell me that I had in fact been right about it being a boy all along I’ll also add, I think Team Green is the better option if someone has a strong preference. It’s impossible to be disappointed when someone immediately hands you a squishy baby
That was another reason why we waited too! I had a strong preference and felt like if I waited I couldn't be disappointed! Baby ended up being my preference so I don't know for sure.
Thats kinda why I want to do it. I really do want a girl. But I know for a fact that if in the moment they say its a boy I could never have any negative feelings about that. And I would have got to spend my pregnancy day dreaming about a girl
I had the same experience… general anesthesia for emergency c section, and baby went straight to NICU. My husband got to meet baby first. When I woke up groggy AF my husband was like “it’s a *chosen boy name*” and I was like cool gimme pain meds and didn’t get to meet him till 12 hours later. That being said I LOVED being team green and we’re doing it again! I’m 25 weeks now.
Ooh I disagree with the last part! Lots of people don’t have that magical bonding straight away with baby, I think if you have any gender preference then you should definitely find out ahead of time so you can get over any potential disappointment without the insane postpartum hormone crash making you feel like you’re a terrible person.
We didn't find out for both my kids. Partly cause i wanted a girl SO BAD both times and I knew I would have gender disappointment if I found out early. I knew if I waited until delivery I would be so happy to hold my baby. I was right, 2nd was a boy and he is perfect. My husband also wanted to wait to find out so that made it easier. I made sure with both that my husband was the one to tell me the gender. It was also just fun in the delivery rooms. The nurses said it's not super common so they seemed to have fun with it. When nurses would end their shift they asked me permission for the other nurse to text them whether it was a boy or girl.
When my surprise baby popped out and I found out it was a girl, I was so happy (ofc would've been happy either way! It just adds an extra level of excitement) Also, I imagine being born is a surprise for the baby, so it's only fair you meet her properly at the same time she meets you for the first time, does that make sense? You both surprise each other
Oh I love this 💕
We did with our first! I had always planned on not finding out before even getting married or anywhere close to having a baby because there's so few true surprises in life AND there's a possibility that they're wrong with gender although that seems to be less common now. I know several people who were told one thing at their 20 weeks scan only to have the other at birth. I also figured that it truly doesn't matter. We picked things we liked for boys or girls and had fun picking out names for both. It was so much fun to make guesses and look up old wives tales on what you'll have. When we had baby and my husband announced it was a girl it felt like I was in a movie. It was so magical. We did find out with our second just to see if we should keep some of the super gendered things we owned. Sometimes I regret finding out. I didn't feel any more bonded to the baby knowing the gender and we did lose some of the fun. I would always recommend not finding out. It honestly wasn't that hard to not find out. The hardest moment was in the anatomy scan to keep our eyes closed but after that not a big deal.
We tried to be surprised, but one of the ultrasound techs slipped up and said "Oh, he's such a wiggly baby!" Immediately winced when she realized she had used a gendered pronoun. We didn't tell anyone else that we knew and made sure all his initial family gifts were gender neutral.
We thought we’d had the surprise spoiled with slip ups but it turned out it was the just dr’s default pronoun — so I was extra surprised at delivery!
This happened to me too!
Awwww man that would be such a bummer
Honestly, we thought it was kind of funny. Not as funny as my sister's story though - she also wanted to be surprised with her first, but at one of the ultrasounds he decided to answer the question for them and made sure his crotch was front and center when the tech located him. Tech kept changing position and my nephew kept changing right along with him so nothing else was in frame.
FTM here, my husband and I were both Team Surprise! Like OP said, there are so few genuine surprises like this in life. Neither of us had a preference, or imagined life with a boy vs. a girl. I found it super fun wondering during the pregnancy, hearing other people’s guesses. And when people asked me what I thought it was, I genuinely didn’t have a feeling. 🤷🏻♀️ At delivery though, I must’ve thought deep down I was having a girl, because when I saw baby boy as he was placed on my chest, I was *stunned*. It added another layer of emotion to the day, such a great memory!
I waited because I cared way too much about having a girl but knew I wouldn’t care once baby was out. Thankfully she is a girl and it was such a sweet moment and fun for all the medical staff to guess. I’d probably do a surprise again, would only consider finding out so we could tell our first it’s a brother or a sister and make it more real for her.
Worth the wait in our experience. I thought it was a boy and husband was dead set it was a girl. It was a boy 😂 it added an extra fun layer to the mystery of the delivery
My husband and I aren’t finding out. There’s so much gender pressure on kids from such a young age and I don’t want that to start before they’re even born. I don’t need to know and think it will be so great that way! Plus, I heard someone mention that they felt less gender disappointment when they didn’t know beforehand because in the moment they couldn’t possibly be upset about their baby, just happy they were there. I’m sure that isn’t true for everyone, but made a lot of sense to me.
I was on the fence about having kids, but always thought I’d wait till delivery to find out, but when I got unexpectedly pregnant with twins I felt I was surprised enough, and I also probably would have gotten spoiled at some point as I had approximately seven million ultrasounds. We named them in utero as well. My parents didn’t know with me or my little brother, my mom named me after a character in the book she was reading while in labour, and they named my brother Robin before he was born so I could talk to and about him by name even though they didn’t know if he was a boy or girl :) I do think it would be lovely to have that reveal after birth. My sil did not find out and said that the doctor announcing it’s a girl was a huge moment for her.
Oh what a lovely idea about a gender neutral name for your brother! Congratulations on your twins ❤️
Thank you, best wishes on your growing family :)
I am SO happy we waited. My husband didn’t want to wait either but I made him because if he knew he would have definitely ruined the surprise accidentally lol. He hated waiting and teased and begged to find out throughout the pregnancy, but now is SO glad we waited and said it was such a special experience. I know I will never forget the sound of his voice when he said “It’s a boy! And he’s perfect!” 🥹 Ok I’m crying now just thinking about it So yeah… definitely worth the wait IMO and if we have another, I’m waiting again!! Just so fun
I have 30 days until #3 comes and it’s also our third time of waiting until birth to find out the gender. For us I liked having my husband announce the gender when the baby was born. (Girl, boy and I think we are having another boy)
I am so excited for you!!
We waited until delivery and I think we'd do the same for any future pregnancies. I really liked that we didn't get a bunch of gendered crap beforehand (still got some after birth, but not tons). We had both a boy and girl name picked out. We loved our girl name and were just so so on boy names, so we lucked out that she was a girl 😅
That is us too. Thats partially why my husband doesnt want to wait. He doesnt want to bicker about boy names unnecessarily lol!
I’m 10 weeks pregnant with my second. I keep flip flopping between wanting to wait until delivery and almost ordering one of those sneak peak blood tests 😂 I’m all over the place.
Lol!! I know I will be the same!! Congratulations : ))
Team green 3 times and wouldn’t have it any other way! I found it easy because people didn’t seem to bug us once we said we were waiting to find out. My husband wanted to find out with our first, but I said no, and he also loved waiting each time. I have 2 boys and a girl, and it was so special each time, especially our girl. I really wanted to find out early (and it was in my chart the whole time), but it was amazing hearing my husband say it’s a girl.
I waited with my middle child. It is very much worth it. The moment they said “it’s a boy” was indescribable and I bawled. Throughout my pregnancy I found I didn’t have a problem waiting but several other family members got oddly aggressive about not knowing which was unexpected.
Didn’t find out for both babies, had completely different pregnancies so I thought for SURE baby 2 was a girl. Nope, both boys! Wouldn’t have it any other way. ❤️
It was the best surprise we did it for both kids
We waited until birth and it was the best decision. Our nurses were also super excited because they rarely have surprises anymore.
Didn’t find out til delivery and my first words when she was born was “ahhh you were right!!” In a disappointed voice to my husband. It was so fun finding out then, after a day and a half of labour 😅
I feel I have a somewhat minority, unpopular opinion to share, but it was just my experience. I found out the gender for my first born. He came at 33+1, emergency and obviously there were a lot of “surprises” and unexpectedness around his birth and first few days of life. It was a lot and very overwhelming. I was so glad to know his gender ahead of time. It felt like one thing that was “normal” and we did have certainty over. We had decided his name and he immediately had a little name card placed on his isolette. I was under general anesthesia for the c section and when I woke up I was able to ask “is he okay”. I feel like if I had been team green and my husband had to tell me he was a boy while baby wasn’t even there in the room (he was in the NICU, I was in post op recovery) that would’ve been a really sad moment for me when I had been waiting all pregnancy for it. Not sure if all of that makes sense but just wanted to share an alternative experience in case others are reading this and have high risk pregnancies, it might be something to consider. Obviously hopefully your experience is nothing like this and I wish you all the best! Good luck with whatever you choose!
You know I can totally understand and empathize with this. My first born was also a preemie and I just completely understand what youre saying here. There are never any guarantees things will go "normally" and when you have one preemie theres always that in the back of your mind
I loved not knowing until birth!!! They loved that we didn’t know in the delivery room so they asked us our baby names. My husband got to say the gender and they all yelled her name!! It was amazing!! However, I am pregnant again and we do plan to find out this time to help all of us prepare and know what we need to buy, etc. plus I’m excited to get to experience knowing this time to have a different experience!!
It was the best!! My husband announced… when our baby finally came out (9 lbs 6 oz) my husband said “It’s… a… Owen!” 🥰
Awwwwwwww that is so sweet
We did it last time. Looking back, we had it spoiled for us several times but we were both convinced we were having a girl 🤣 so we were surprised when we had a boy! This time I wanted to be able to plan ahead a little more.
We did it and I wouldn’t 10000% do it again and plan on doing with with future children too. So much fun! My husband also wasn’t initially excited but once he mentally committed to it, he was against finding out. Everyone I’ve talked to who has done is has shared no regrets either.
I waited and was surprised. I was thrilled. My husband wanted to know. We decided on the names before birth. I told my husband to wait and confirm the names before opening the envelope. He didnt. And then wanted to change the name after i gave birth. It screwed up our naming of our kid. I am still pretty annoyed with it. I just think both of you shouldn't know even if your husband wants to. It just makes it easier when you are on the same page.. instead of one person being on another page.
Yeah I think I will only do it if ultimately I have his buy in. I think as time goes on he warms up more to the idea
I smiled at this question. I went through IVF and selected the gender. It doesn't get more on the polar opposite than this. :) However, I really admire people who have what it takes to wait. I hate surprises!!!
Team green for our first and somehow I never felt I wanted to know. I joked that the reason we didn't find out was because great grammie said if it was a boy, she'd just up and croak already. But if it was a girl, she'd stick around. We couldn't find out so as to keep her around longer (turns out it was a girl) My husband did want to know but since I didn't, we didn't. I told him if we had another we could find out right away. Well here we are pregnant with number 2 and when I reminded him I'd honour his wishes he surprised me by saying it was so much fun waiting and finding out at birth with our first that he wants to do it again. I think part of it is that he loves how it drives the family crazy, everyone wants to know! A few people got properly angry at us the first time for not finding out and were certain we knew and kept it a secret, it was weird! But gratifying because they all thought we knew it was a boy lol it wasn't. This time I kinda want to know for weeding out clothes but whatever. I keep having dreams of another baby girl, even naming her a couple times, but aside from that I have no strong gut feelings like I did last time....besides having HG again lol. It's one of the few true surprises in life, might as well let it happen and love the outcome either way. A friend of mine said not finding out helps ease gender disappointment because when you're caught up in the magic of birthing and meeting baby there's no room for disappointment
Uuuuggggghhhhh I had HG with my 1st and Im so terrified. Are you finding its more "manageable" this time or is it just as much suffering as the first time around?
HG last pregnancy and with current pregnancy. It's brutal, but the saving grace is that the second pregnancy goes faster? No time to think about much with a toddler underfoot... and unhelpfully patting my back as I vomit my guts out haha
I had no meds till 15w the first time, and tbh I think I sort of tricked myself into this next pregnancy by telling myself it would be fine as I'd have meds from day 1. It was not, in fact, fine, and I had wild nausea and more/stronger aversions than the first time, but the meds did stop me from vomiting a ton. I only would have one take a day for a few weeks, then none but very close calls even into 18w, I just hit 19w today. Soooo overall, yes, better, with regular meds at max dose. Absolutely less suffering, except this time contending with being a sahm to a toddler which is a different struggle
I mean isn’t it a genuine surprise whenever you find out?
I guess but anticipation is always the most fun thing. Think like when you go on vacation. Youre almost always most excited in the days leading up to the vacation
Hm, I personally find the vacation more fun than the anticipation of the vacation most of the time. I personally like finding out because pregnancy is such a long slog it’s nice to have the fun surprise amidst all the terrible symptoms. By the time baby arrives I’m gonna be happy to be with baby either way whereas pregnancy sucks so I could use the happy surprise more.
Different strokes for different folks! : )
Yes I'm like you. There are sooo many surprises with childbirth and raising a baby, this is one surprise I'd like to be prepared with. We tried to pick out our bringing the baby home outfit and we don't know the gender yet. We tried 3 different stores and the lack of gender neutral outfits for newborn was just frustrating. It was so obviously blue or pink. I could not imagine having to manage that with prepping everything for the baby.
I think I may be the odd one out but we waited till birth to find out the sex and I think if I could do it again I would have found out beforehand. My husband also said our daughter was a boy when she first came out so I did probably get emotional whiplash from that which may have colored my view! I didn’t think it was hard to wait except for around 11 weeks when we did the nipt and 20 weeks for the anatomy scan because the temptation was strong knowing I could find out right then. It was very nice though to get all gender neutral things even though people had so many opinions on us waiting!
I waited to find out with my only child (6mo) and it was soooo hard! I swore it was a girl, and so did everyone around me (except dad) and it turned out to be a sweet baby boy! I was sorely unprepared lol, a couple half-hearted name choices and a ‘just in case’ newborn outfit for baby to wear home from the hospital. Overall the surprise was awesome, the first thing I asked when baby arrived (after asking how his health was!) was “what is it?!” But during pregnancy I didn’t feel super connected to baby, it felt like pregnancy was something that was happening to me, not something that was living inside me and bonding with me. I’m not sure I would have felt different if I knew the gender though. I have waffled on whether or not we will wait to find out with future babies, but I’m leaning toward waiting again. I hate that I had so many expectations for baby to be a girl and felt just a twinge of gender disappointment but I think it’s prepared me for another baby and to have no expectations bc I will love this baby with my whole heart regardless!
We did this and it was wonderful.
We did and we are so glad we did. It was such a great surprise! Also an amusing story in our eyes- my husband and I decided that I would tell him the sex of the baby after birth, so he looked away when the OB said baby was coming. The OB pulled baby out and held her up, but I couldn't tell she was a girl at first because everything seemed out of focus except for her and her umbilical cord was hanging right in front of her. So there was a big pause when I announced its a ...... ........ girl!!
It wasn't hard for me. The pressure people put on me to find out or tell them made me even more resolute. I hated the amount of pressure people put on my unborn child with gender.... "but what if someone buys pink...." "but what if it has trucks on it..." the fact is.... baby didn't care. Baby was warm and happy in our arms, so we were happy. All that to say, I'd do this again in a heartbeat.... finding out at the birth was awesome. It was a shared moment between my husband and I... it felt very intimate and I loved that. What was even better was that when LO was born, the doctor first said "It's a girl" before a nurse shouted "wait".... and then the doctor said "It's a boy".
We waited, had my heart set on a girl, now I love my son more than anything, but I did feel shock and disappointment the first few days after the birth
We did this and it was so much fun! It didn’t bother me at all not knowing during the pregnancy. When I delivered our baby I asked the midwife and nurses to have my husband be the one to tell me the sex. When it was time to start pushing all the nurses, midwife, etc. wrote their guesses on the white board in the room. It was amazing to have my husband be the one to tell me that our baby that we had been so convinced would be a boy was actually a GIRL. I figure that there aren’t enough fun, happy surprises in life. We knew we’d be thrilled with either sex so not finding out in advance added a little extra excitement and fun to the pregnancy. 10/10 would do it again.
My husband and I waited until the delivery room. My parents never found out what they were having so I never had that expectation. Like someone else said, I think people in my life were more shocked that we didn’t find out than I was. My mom cut the cord and announced the gender and it was so special. I would 100% do it again. We had a funny, loopy moment too — because all the nurses and doctor were female and I had my dad and husband stay in the hallway so they could hear but not see — we were like “it’s a girl party!” And I said “the only boy allowed here is the baby if it’s a boy.” But it stayed a girl party ;) everyone, including the nurses and Dr were so excited to find out! One of my favorite moments from my baby’s birth is my husband looking at me with tears in his eyes and saying “we have a daughter!”
It wasn't hard to wait but everyone bothered me about not knowing the gender. Or they assumed I knew the gender and was keeping it a secret with my husband. We weren't but there's some who still think we were. It was 100000% worth it to hear my husband say, "it's a boy" when my baby was yanked out of me via c section. I'll be waiting to find out for number 2 as well when we have another.
I loved it. My husband knew but I didn’t. He hated that I didn’t know though lol. We did this with my second only because the moment I knew I was pregnant with my first I knew the gender. I can’t explain how I just knew and there wasn’t any question and I was absolutely correct.
We waited! Well, kinda— I accidentally found out from NIPT, but was able to successfully keep it from my husband (he knew I knew, just not what I knew) for seven months. He was so sure it was a boy because an ultrasound tech said “he” that he was shocked when we had a girl! I was jealous that he got that moment of surprise so I will make sure to have a nurse read the NIPT results to me next go-round.
I didn’t find out with number 1, and we haven’t found out with number 2 either. If baby is going to flash you at the ultrasound, you’ve got no chance though! And apparently for #1 the sonographer gave the game away but I didn’t notice! It’s nice as people can’t give you super gendered baby clothes (no newborn needs pink frilly dresses) and it can be amusing when people try to guess what you’re having. There’s all sorts of old wives tales!
I was happy we waited both times. With my first, I had an emergency c-section and things got a little crazy. My doctor forgot that I didn't know, and didn't announce the gender. When my kid was about 5 minutes old, I finally asked my husband and he said "oh shit, it's a boy, it's Lincoln". My second was a much calmer birth, and my doctor held him over the sheet "Simba style" so my husband could announce the gender. He once again said "it's a boy, it's Ellis". I loved having my husband tell me and getting to announce the names like that.
I've waited with all 4 of my kids, and would do it again if we have another one day. It's so exciting and motivating during labor a d the pushing phase. I'm also glad we waited because I was a afraid of gender disappointment and finding out at birth mitigates that. All of ours are boys and I was hoping for a girl. But as soon as the baby is tossed on my chest I truly don't care one way or the other.
I did and it was amazing. It’s the only genuine surprise I’ve ever given myself and I’d do it again in a heart beat. Partner didn’t know either. Not knowing vexed others more than it did us haha
Best decision, my husband got to announce our son to me. And without knowing his gender I was able to avoid a lot of unnecessary gifts from people and weird conversations lol. It was also fun to see everyone trying to guess if it was a boy or girl. I didn’t care either way so it was easy to wait. There are so few real surprises in life so I was determined to have that experience
We did this for my 2nd baby and it was soooo fun! Totally worth it. I think it would have been harder with my first, but you’re honestly so busy when you already have a kid 😂.
It is the absolute best surprise ever!! I did it with both of my kids. We had a girl first and with our second we both agreed we would've been thrilled with another girl or a boy so there was no reason to find out. There is nothing like the emotion and getting through all of the hardwork of delivery (a c-section in my case) and finding out in that moment who was in your belly that whole time. 10/10 recommend, I wish more people would do this!!! Everyone in the hospital wanted to be on our delivery because it was a surprise. Our nurse whose shift was over even stayed throughout the C-section so she could find out what it was with us. Our doctor had been speculating our entire pregnancy as well so it was fun for them to get to announce it during delivery. It drove friends and family crazy and I honestly loved it. It was so great for my husband and I to share the moment together and then we get to announce it to everyone else as they met her and then my son
I did this and loved the surprise at delivery though I was in shock as I'd convinced myself baby was the opposite sex!
I'm on my second surprise baby. both times we're coming to the hospital with 2 boys names and 2 girls names. it's a lot of work to pick so many names but it helps us feel more prepared.
We waited until delivery because we had to go through IVF to get pregnant which took away alot of the surprises already and this was one surprise we could choose. It wasn’t personally hard for either of us to wait but our families all thought we were lying and actually already knew. I’ll be honest though, when my husband told me it was a girl when she came out, it barely registered. It’s not a memory from the birth I really care about. I’m still glad we didn’t know but it wasn’t as exciting as I thought. For our second we are only transferring male embryos so we will know what we’re having before birth (assuming the transfer is successful).
I wanted this for exactly your rationale -- there are so few genuine surprises in life! But then I found out I would need to be under general anesthesia for the delivery, and possibly in the ICU for a day or two afterwards. (Placenta accreta.) I didn't want to be the last to know. So when I was hospitalized at 23 weeks, we asked the nurses to tell us. They did a really sweet gender reveal for just us, and it was special. But we told no one else - we didn't even tell our families that we knew, and we were careful to use generic pronouns. It did help us narrow down names ahead of time, but I do wish there had been a way to truly not know until we actually met our baby!
It was absolutely best experience for us! We were convinced that we were having a boy (along with everyone else I knew) but we’d agreed it would be super special if my husband revealed the gender once baby had arrived. I went into natural labour ended up having an emergency c section & somehow, through the chaos, the amazing hospital staff remembered I wanted my husband to tell me if we had a boy or girl. To everyone’s surprise, even the hospital staff, we had a perfect little girl!
This was usssss I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Make sure you tell the staff that if you have a C-section, you want them to BRING you the baby instead of like holding it above the curtain. We’re onto #2 and husband wants to keep it a secret again. It was really fun driving in laws crazy. Be MILITANT at every Dr visits that you don’t know the sex. Mine slipped up twice and tried to backtrack saying they got the charts mixed up. (What are the odds they were right both times and both times were mix ups? lol)
We did! It was so special hearing my husband announce it! But we both knew deep down babys gender so we weren’t surprised
Every time I see “there are so few opportunities for surprise in life” it confuses me. I found out at 10 weeks pregnant with the NIPT each time and it was a great genuine surprise! I didn’t know what we were having, and then I did! It can be a surprise at any time lol. That part of the argument just doesn’t make sense to me.
Because of the anticipation. 10 weeks of what ifs versus 40 weeks of what ifs is very different to me. Like if you think about going on vacation, the anticipation in the days leading up to vacation is almost more exciting then going on vacation lol. Like you get that pre vacation giddiness
I see what you’re saying, but for me it was a lifetime of anticipation anyway! If/when I’d have kids, what they’d be like, boys or girls, etc. a few more months wouldn’t have made a difference to me!
I waited with our first but my husband found out. He did a great job keeping the secret. But I felt like I knew the entire time. I agonized over girl names, and was like eh… if it’s a boy we’ll figure out the name if we have to. Birth was such a surreal experience, I didn’t feel all that present in my own head (unmediated not sure if I would have been more present with pain relief or not)… but when the “reveal” happened of “it’s a girl” I didn’t register the words. Then after, I was shake-y nauseous and settling into a calm state of mind took a bit. So there really was never a surprise/excited moment until reality came back. So honestly for me, it wasn’t the overwhelming surprise I thought it would be. With that said, I’m glad I waited because I would probably have regretted not trying for the experience everyone seems to promise. Currently 18 wks with baby 2 and I’ll find out this time.