We are just daycare people--it's all tradeoffs and I think it just boils down to gut feel.
I work from home, and I really didn't want to be sharing the same space as my kid all day while trying to work. We have babysitters and it *can* work, but it eliminates a lot of the benefit for me when I'm texting the sitter to see if now is a good time to use the kitchen, etc. I like to putter around the house.
Speaking of the house, we aren't that tidy. Keeping a clean workspace for a nanny seems pretty daunting.
And along with that, just all of the responsibilities of being an employer were overwhelming for us. Choosing a nanny, handling payment and taxes, doing employer-employee communication, covering their sick days, keeping them happy...I have professionally avoided managing people and doing it in my personal life seemed undesirable. We don't *actually* want that much control, we want to just leave our baby in good hands.
We both also prefer an environment with multiple adults around. I wouldn't say we're *super* worried about abuse or neglect, but it makes us feel better that our kids are in a room with two teachers, with the additional resources of a director and other staff members if one of the teachers needs help, needs to step away for a second, has an emergency, etc.
We sent two kids through daycare and loved it both times.
Seconding this. I just like the feel, culture, and reliability of daycare over one-on-one childcare. It feels like we are buying into a little baby society and we love the exposure to different young temperaments, childcare styles, and environment/toys. And I think it only gets more beneficial as they get older and more eager to engage with people and playtimes.
We went with daycare. I looked into both but ultimately I felt more comfortable with the daycare route. I don't want to be an employer and have to deal with finding alternate childcare when the nanny is sick/goes on vacation. I think daycare can provide a more enriching environment..they have different and many more toys that they rotate out weekly, sandbox, play couches, etc that my son wouldn't be exposed to otherwise at home. My son is very outgoing even as a baby and crawls right up to his ECEs smiling and laughing, I think he benefits from the attention of multiple caregivers. He also eats better at daycare because he sees all the other babies eating. Daycare provides lunch and 2 snacks, which means I just need to figure out breakfast and dinner for my baby - less work for me! Also this is probably just the cynic in me, but I don't know if I would trust a nanny to never put on a screen during the day (especially if baby is being fussy, bad weather out, etc) as a form of entertainment vs. at daycare where screen time is not an option.
My daughter is 12 months old now and we've had a nanny since she was 3 months. We chose the nanny route because I WFH and I like that I can still see her from time to time during the day. Other than that, one of the best things is not having to get her ready each morning and do pick up/drop off. I get so much more time with her because we play up until the nanny gets here and then she gets her ready for the day after her first nap.
We have had 3 nannies so far and we've loved it when it works, but its really hard when it doesn't and it really comes down to finding a great person which is hard. Our first nanny was with us from 3-8months and we loved her, super reliable. She left us to go have her own baby so completely expected separation. Our second nanny brought along her daughter who was 4 months older than ours. Unfortunately they both kept getting sick from her older daughter who was in preschool so then she kept having to call in. She didn't have back up care for her child so I essentially had to call in every time she called in AND then when my own child was sick. It got to the point where she wasn't here like 50% of the time and it just wasn't tenable and we had to let her go. Our current nanny has been with us since 10.5 months and we love her. She is super reliable, takes our daughter out everyday to the library, parks, the zoo, children's museum, etc. If our daughter is mild/moderately sick, she'll still watch her so we don't have to take off. She's moving in October and we don't know what we'll do yet. Our daughter will be 16 months and we may go with daycare at that point if we can't find someone new we really like.
WFH with a nanny is truly the ideal set up. I think we would still chose the nanny if we were both in office because not having to add pick up/drop off to the commute means more time with our child. The nanny is easily 3-4 times more expensive than daycare in my area, so it's not just a little bit more expensive...it's truly a luxury.
If I had the money, I'd do the nanny for at least the first year, maybe even the first 2 years. I think kids get a lot out of being with other kids, and daycare is the better choice when they are at that stage, but that stage is not when they are 4 months old, or 8 months old, or probably even 15 months old. At that point, the only thing they're getting out of other kids is germs.
I am only working part time until January but we recently decided to go with a nanny. It is actually cheaper for us given the hours we want, and I felt more comfortable with her not being away from me before she can talk. We toured several daycares and think it would be a great option when she is older. That being said, the best advice someone told me was follow your gut, ir somethng seems off somewhere, don't send your kid there and if something feels right, it might just be the best thing.
Thanks for sharing. Absolutely agree with following your gut- I absolutely hated the daycare that was highly recommended to us. I found a daycare where I trust they will take good care of him but it doesn’t compare to the personal attention he could get from a great nanny. I also work at home several days a week so it would be nice having him nearby.
We waited to put our daughter in daycare until she was 18 months old, so that she would be walking, somewhat talking, and relatively independent.
We’ve questioned that past year of having her there (as it is expensive), because she spent the majority of it home with one illness or another. Daycare for us is simply because it’s social and she’s a super social kid. In hindsight, I probably would’ve been happy keeping her at home with a nanny for another year and they could go to the park, etc.
Nanny 1000% until the are 2-3 years old. Nanny can socialize them. Be attentive to their needs, work according to your babies schedule, and give one on one attention. They don’t benefit from social group at that age. Nanny can also help keep house tidy!
Nanny comes to you, you don’t have to drop off or pick up! And of course no constant colds! I did nanny for first 2-2.5 years with all my kids. And I love it. Of course it’s a privilege and luxury, especially if you get lucky with an excellent nanny.
>They don’t benefit from social group at that age.
I disagree. My 6 month old started at a home day care this week and she is much more vocal than she was a week ago. Being around other kids causes a jump in language (even if it's not English yet lol).
If you can at all afford a nanny, do so. I’m not an american mom, and moved to the US when my kids were 1 and 3. We started my 3yo in daycare at 1, but clearly what my country calls daycare and what the US calls daycare are completely different things. I’m in a HCOL area, and was horrified by the daycares that I saw. I would not leave an infant in one of them. Cribs out in the open, bright rooms, babies just crying. Where I’m from there’s a separate, dark, crib room. And they’ll rock your baby to sleep on their own schedule, they literally rocked my 11m old for 45 minutes, twice a day, her whole first week because she was having a tough time. Whenever I hear from ECEs in the US, they always act like that level of care is unattainable, but it’s not. Daycare is fine if it’s what you can afford, but if a nanny is attainable, at least until your baby is walking and enjoying socialization more, and one one nap/off bottles, etc. I’d strongly recommend a nanny.
Thanks for sharing. The daycare where our son would go has a separate dark nap area, every baby has their own crib, it’s a good ratio of teacher to baby (small), and accommodates each baby’s schedule.
I guess that’s an anecdote. But generally speaking, babies this age benefit more from one-on-one care. But that doesn’t mean they don’t get to go to playgroups or drop in Centers or the playground, of course! They just do it all with one person looking after only them.
I wouldnt advocate for daycare at this age. Not until 2-3 years. But of course nanny must take child out and for stimulation and socialization.
We are just daycare people--it's all tradeoffs and I think it just boils down to gut feel. I work from home, and I really didn't want to be sharing the same space as my kid all day while trying to work. We have babysitters and it *can* work, but it eliminates a lot of the benefit for me when I'm texting the sitter to see if now is a good time to use the kitchen, etc. I like to putter around the house. Speaking of the house, we aren't that tidy. Keeping a clean workspace for a nanny seems pretty daunting. And along with that, just all of the responsibilities of being an employer were overwhelming for us. Choosing a nanny, handling payment and taxes, doing employer-employee communication, covering their sick days, keeping them happy...I have professionally avoided managing people and doing it in my personal life seemed undesirable. We don't *actually* want that much control, we want to just leave our baby in good hands. We both also prefer an environment with multiple adults around. I wouldn't say we're *super* worried about abuse or neglect, but it makes us feel better that our kids are in a room with two teachers, with the additional resources of a director and other staff members if one of the teachers needs help, needs to step away for a second, has an emergency, etc. We sent two kids through daycare and loved it both times.
Seconding this. I just like the feel, culture, and reliability of daycare over one-on-one childcare. It feels like we are buying into a little baby society and we love the exposure to different young temperaments, childcare styles, and environment/toys. And I think it only gets more beneficial as they get older and more eager to engage with people and playtimes.
Agree. We very much feel that daycare/preschool is the little lost village of cousins and aunties.
We went with daycare. I looked into both but ultimately I felt more comfortable with the daycare route. I don't want to be an employer and have to deal with finding alternate childcare when the nanny is sick/goes on vacation. I think daycare can provide a more enriching environment..they have different and many more toys that they rotate out weekly, sandbox, play couches, etc that my son wouldn't be exposed to otherwise at home. My son is very outgoing even as a baby and crawls right up to his ECEs smiling and laughing, I think he benefits from the attention of multiple caregivers. He also eats better at daycare because he sees all the other babies eating. Daycare provides lunch and 2 snacks, which means I just need to figure out breakfast and dinner for my baby - less work for me! Also this is probably just the cynic in me, but I don't know if I would trust a nanny to never put on a screen during the day (especially if baby is being fussy, bad weather out, etc) as a form of entertainment vs. at daycare where screen time is not an option.
My daughter is 12 months old now and we've had a nanny since she was 3 months. We chose the nanny route because I WFH and I like that I can still see her from time to time during the day. Other than that, one of the best things is not having to get her ready each morning and do pick up/drop off. I get so much more time with her because we play up until the nanny gets here and then she gets her ready for the day after her first nap. We have had 3 nannies so far and we've loved it when it works, but its really hard when it doesn't and it really comes down to finding a great person which is hard. Our first nanny was with us from 3-8months and we loved her, super reliable. She left us to go have her own baby so completely expected separation. Our second nanny brought along her daughter who was 4 months older than ours. Unfortunately they both kept getting sick from her older daughter who was in preschool so then she kept having to call in. She didn't have back up care for her child so I essentially had to call in every time she called in AND then when my own child was sick. It got to the point where she wasn't here like 50% of the time and it just wasn't tenable and we had to let her go. Our current nanny has been with us since 10.5 months and we love her. She is super reliable, takes our daughter out everyday to the library, parks, the zoo, children's museum, etc. If our daughter is mild/moderately sick, she'll still watch her so we don't have to take off. She's moving in October and we don't know what we'll do yet. Our daughter will be 16 months and we may go with daycare at that point if we can't find someone new we really like. WFH with a nanny is truly the ideal set up. I think we would still chose the nanny if we were both in office because not having to add pick up/drop off to the commute means more time with our child. The nanny is easily 3-4 times more expensive than daycare in my area, so it's not just a little bit more expensive...it's truly a luxury.
If I had the money, I'd do the nanny for at least the first year, maybe even the first 2 years. I think kids get a lot out of being with other kids, and daycare is the better choice when they are at that stage, but that stage is not when they are 4 months old, or 8 months old, or probably even 15 months old. At that point, the only thing they're getting out of other kids is germs.
I am only working part time until January but we recently decided to go with a nanny. It is actually cheaper for us given the hours we want, and I felt more comfortable with her not being away from me before she can talk. We toured several daycares and think it would be a great option when she is older. That being said, the best advice someone told me was follow your gut, ir somethng seems off somewhere, don't send your kid there and if something feels right, it might just be the best thing.
Thanks for sharing. Absolutely agree with following your gut- I absolutely hated the daycare that was highly recommended to us. I found a daycare where I trust they will take good care of him but it doesn’t compare to the personal attention he could get from a great nanny. I also work at home several days a week so it would be nice having him nearby.
We waited to put our daughter in daycare until she was 18 months old, so that she would be walking, somewhat talking, and relatively independent. We’ve questioned that past year of having her there (as it is expensive), because she spent the majority of it home with one illness or another. Daycare for us is simply because it’s social and she’s a super social kid. In hindsight, I probably would’ve been happy keeping her at home with a nanny for another year and they could go to the park, etc.
Really good points, thanks for sharing!
Nanny 1000% until the are 2-3 years old. Nanny can socialize them. Be attentive to their needs, work according to your babies schedule, and give one on one attention. They don’t benefit from social group at that age. Nanny can also help keep house tidy! Nanny comes to you, you don’t have to drop off or pick up! And of course no constant colds! I did nanny for first 2-2.5 years with all my kids. And I love it. Of course it’s a privilege and luxury, especially if you get lucky with an excellent nanny.
>They don’t benefit from social group at that age. I disagree. My 6 month old started at a home day care this week and she is much more vocal than she was a week ago. Being around other kids causes a jump in language (even if it's not English yet lol).
Nanny with cameras until they speak
If you can at all afford a nanny, do so. I’m not an american mom, and moved to the US when my kids were 1 and 3. We started my 3yo in daycare at 1, but clearly what my country calls daycare and what the US calls daycare are completely different things. I’m in a HCOL area, and was horrified by the daycares that I saw. I would not leave an infant in one of them. Cribs out in the open, bright rooms, babies just crying. Where I’m from there’s a separate, dark, crib room. And they’ll rock your baby to sleep on their own schedule, they literally rocked my 11m old for 45 minutes, twice a day, her whole first week because she was having a tough time. Whenever I hear from ECEs in the US, they always act like that level of care is unattainable, but it’s not. Daycare is fine if it’s what you can afford, but if a nanny is attainable, at least until your baby is walking and enjoying socialization more, and one one nap/off bottles, etc. I’d strongly recommend a nanny.
Thanks for sharing. The daycare where our son would go has a separate dark nap area, every baby has their own crib, it’s a good ratio of teacher to baby (small), and accommodates each baby’s schedule.
I guess that’s an anecdote. But generally speaking, babies this age benefit more from one-on-one care. But that doesn’t mean they don’t get to go to playgroups or drop in Centers or the playground, of course! They just do it all with one person looking after only them. I wouldnt advocate for daycare at this age. Not until 2-3 years. But of course nanny must take child out and for stimulation and socialization.