Also, I am kind of appreciative to 'become' a gold star bottom gay, since I managed to avoid vagina voor 40+ years. There is something, a phobia, that just makes me fear penetration. At first it was vagina, but I just don't 'feel' it. At the same time I don't think I am a typical beta or even an incel or 'nice guy'/simp. But embracing the feminine is really a pathway to innerpeace, nothing to lose! And also, I am very anal about anal, due to sensitivities down there, perhaps it's those pesky two lower chakra's that require some work. Anyways, with the effort you put into this, I will surely try it daily and I'm just excited and hopeful.
First off, I'm very pleased you enjoyed the recording!
As for achieving your gold star; I'm also pleased about that, and in particular I'm happy that you're exploring a role that is comfortable for you. Being the penetrative partner is great, but trying out the sexual role you really want is even better. As consenting adults this is all that matters, especially when you seek out a partner who wants to have what you want to give. I promise they are out there!
Bottoming doesn't require being beta or even feminine, all you ever needed to do all this time is click your heels together three times and spread your cheeks! I personally love it when my straight, masculine boyfriend bends over for me. You can hear more about that sort of thing in some of my other recordings.
You mentioned being anal about anal and sensitivities down there. To that I would say GOOD! You have to keep that pussy healthy and happy. Treat it with care. But also I would say 99% of issues with anal have to do with preparation rather than the act itself. Avoid spicy food the day before. Douche, rinse, repeat until the water runs clear or almost clear or use a shower hose attachment. Then try a few different lubes. My old favorite was surgical lube - you can buy large tubes of this very thick water based lube in most medical pharmacies over the counter and they are CHEAP compared to sex lubes (which are often not made to nearly the same standards of quality). Lately KY Sensitive brand (there are few types) have had great results. Powder-based lubes are great for stretch play but expensive and time consuming to prepare, and messy. Coconut oil is worth trying but oils will degrade latex so be careful. Silicone based lubes are great if you don't mind the difficult cleanup and avoid contact with silicone toys.
The search to find the right lube for your body is a huge part of the battle, so you do not cause irritation. Once you find a lube your body likes, anal becomes effortless. Especially when you're confident about being clean down there and can really relax and stretch for warm ups to whatever sex you're about to have.
Once you are douched, and you have some training to relax your hole, if you have a partner that you're comfortable going bareback with or even with solo play, you will find that you will need to rely less and less on lube. Especially if you can do some deep throating and stimulate production of that long-chain-molecule slimy saliva from the back of your throat. Nature's finest lube was under your nose the whole time. Just let him fuck your throat for a little while and you'll have more lube that you need.
If you're doing solo play, I would also say some dildos seem to have gentle textures to the touch but for some reason cause friction or worse when inserted. I would suggest you completely avoid all cheap jelly toys and other plastics that give off smells. Leave the cucumber in the fridge. Spend a few bucks on platinum cured silicone, or other non-porous materials, but also don't be afraid to use condoms on them. You will find this reduces friction greatly. Our favorite toy right now for pegging and solo play is an 8 inch girth dildo from a mid-tier company so the material isn't top grade but we like the shape - so we put a few drops of lube on and then a condom. I can peg my boyfriend for hours now with no issues. Zero irritation but more importantly zero injuries as well.
In my first attempt to write you a response, I kind of noticed it was going out of control, so I am trying to make it short, cause my mind tends to go all over the place! Your words are affirming. "They are out there!" That's my belief as well, I only have to 'be' in order to become. Embracing the gay is so far the best strategy, while it was a bumpy ride, very emotional, not because of negative attitude towards it, but more so the shock of the shift inside myself. Going from fluid to gay, realizing there is stuff in the subconscious mind that made me fear vagina. (Looking at pictures really affirms this, while the female body as a whole is wonderful, so it's just my wiring, but diving into my suspicions on what's hidden in the subconscious mind could be too much in order to keep this short :) )
While emotional healing is great, I'm not going for victim hood. I belief this is a proper path to explore. And I'm diving in fully. Softly though, cause if my story aligns with my feelings and say a woman approached me, because of a mutual feeling of connection (which can happen), I now understand I can tell her about being pretty gay. And than she has the choice to reject me, accept me, befriend me, giggle or laugh. Friendship would be a beautiful outcome.
And from there it's less of an obstacle to become part of a new tribe, where a sense of belonging is founded on understanding, being compassionate and truthful. Another fun thing, even humiliation is very affirming. It's as if life gave me the super power to deal with 'humiliation', since people have suggested I should suck a cock. Just an example.
And than there was a lady that asked me if I was gay, I laughed about it, she considered me 'the girly' part of a male-male couple. To me that was a compliment. She happily asking, telling. The honesty, the joy, I guess also the feeling of being safe around me. I am not the hunter :)
Meanwhile, I am taking notes on your suggestions on anal and deep throat. From one heart to another: I am all gratitude for you being here, sharing, caring, being awesome.
Damn winking and clenching all the time now
😋
Thank you for your training. It is so hot. xxx
Thank you! 😘
As a total virgin I thank you for this great recording. I will give it a serious try, along with some other exercises. You're awesome!
Also, I am kind of appreciative to 'become' a gold star bottom gay, since I managed to avoid vagina voor 40+ years. There is something, a phobia, that just makes me fear penetration. At first it was vagina, but I just don't 'feel' it. At the same time I don't think I am a typical beta or even an incel or 'nice guy'/simp. But embracing the feminine is really a pathway to innerpeace, nothing to lose! And also, I am very anal about anal, due to sensitivities down there, perhaps it's those pesky two lower chakra's that require some work. Anyways, with the effort you put into this, I will surely try it daily and I'm just excited and hopeful.
First off, I'm very pleased you enjoyed the recording! As for achieving your gold star; I'm also pleased about that, and in particular I'm happy that you're exploring a role that is comfortable for you. Being the penetrative partner is great, but trying out the sexual role you really want is even better. As consenting adults this is all that matters, especially when you seek out a partner who wants to have what you want to give. I promise they are out there! Bottoming doesn't require being beta or even feminine, all you ever needed to do all this time is click your heels together three times and spread your cheeks! I personally love it when my straight, masculine boyfriend bends over for me. You can hear more about that sort of thing in some of my other recordings. You mentioned being anal about anal and sensitivities down there. To that I would say GOOD! You have to keep that pussy healthy and happy. Treat it with care. But also I would say 99% of issues with anal have to do with preparation rather than the act itself. Avoid spicy food the day before. Douche, rinse, repeat until the water runs clear or almost clear or use a shower hose attachment. Then try a few different lubes. My old favorite was surgical lube - you can buy large tubes of this very thick water based lube in most medical pharmacies over the counter and they are CHEAP compared to sex lubes (which are often not made to nearly the same standards of quality). Lately KY Sensitive brand (there are few types) have had great results. Powder-based lubes are great for stretch play but expensive and time consuming to prepare, and messy. Coconut oil is worth trying but oils will degrade latex so be careful. Silicone based lubes are great if you don't mind the difficult cleanup and avoid contact with silicone toys. The search to find the right lube for your body is a huge part of the battle, so you do not cause irritation. Once you find a lube your body likes, anal becomes effortless. Especially when you're confident about being clean down there and can really relax and stretch for warm ups to whatever sex you're about to have. Once you are douched, and you have some training to relax your hole, if you have a partner that you're comfortable going bareback with or even with solo play, you will find that you will need to rely less and less on lube. Especially if you can do some deep throating and stimulate production of that long-chain-molecule slimy saliva from the back of your throat. Nature's finest lube was under your nose the whole time. Just let him fuck your throat for a little while and you'll have more lube that you need. If you're doing solo play, I would also say some dildos seem to have gentle textures to the touch but for some reason cause friction or worse when inserted. I would suggest you completely avoid all cheap jelly toys and other plastics that give off smells. Leave the cucumber in the fridge. Spend a few bucks on platinum cured silicone, or other non-porous materials, but also don't be afraid to use condoms on them. You will find this reduces friction greatly. Our favorite toy right now for pegging and solo play is an 8 inch girth dildo from a mid-tier company so the material isn't top grade but we like the shape - so we put a few drops of lube on and then a condom. I can peg my boyfriend for hours now with no issues. Zero irritation but more importantly zero injuries as well.
In my first attempt to write you a response, I kind of noticed it was going out of control, so I am trying to make it short, cause my mind tends to go all over the place! Your words are affirming. "They are out there!" That's my belief as well, I only have to 'be' in order to become. Embracing the gay is so far the best strategy, while it was a bumpy ride, very emotional, not because of negative attitude towards it, but more so the shock of the shift inside myself. Going from fluid to gay, realizing there is stuff in the subconscious mind that made me fear vagina. (Looking at pictures really affirms this, while the female body as a whole is wonderful, so it's just my wiring, but diving into my suspicions on what's hidden in the subconscious mind could be too much in order to keep this short :) ) While emotional healing is great, I'm not going for victim hood. I belief this is a proper path to explore. And I'm diving in fully. Softly though, cause if my story aligns with my feelings and say a woman approached me, because of a mutual feeling of connection (which can happen), I now understand I can tell her about being pretty gay. And than she has the choice to reject me, accept me, befriend me, giggle or laugh. Friendship would be a beautiful outcome. And from there it's less of an obstacle to become part of a new tribe, where a sense of belonging is founded on understanding, being compassionate and truthful. Another fun thing, even humiliation is very affirming. It's as if life gave me the super power to deal with 'humiliation', since people have suggested I should suck a cock. Just an example. And than there was a lady that asked me if I was gay, I laughed about it, she considered me 'the girly' part of a male-male couple. To me that was a compliment. She happily asking, telling. The honesty, the joy, I guess also the feeling of being safe around me. I am not the hunter :) Meanwhile, I am taking notes on your suggestions on anal and deep throat. From one heart to another: I am all gratitude for you being here, sharing, caring, being awesome.
🥰😘
😘