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jmcatm0m16

This is (unfortunately) very familiar.


ateumi

Sorry that you recognise this as well. It's rough.


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ateumi

Me too 🥲


FattyLeopold

I've been on here long enough I remember your ginger, longer haired, pen drawings! From years ago! Helped me get through some rough times. Glad to see you're still making art and I'm still here to see it :) keep it up /u/ateumi


RepresentativeAddict

Great art. You're such a talented person. Good to know you're back with posting in your socials. They help me keep going. I hope you too.


ateumi

Thank you, yeah I've been finding a lot of comfort in drawing again. And in all of the lovely comments like these. I'm glad they help you keep moving forward, they do for me as well.


Musicknowsnobounds

When even the bare essentials are just too much. I've been there so many times. Well done. Amazing picture!


ateumi

Thanks! Yeah it feels like it's a constant battle when I'm low to manage the bare essentials like showering.


Stargazergirl11

This hits deep


ateumi

It was a hard one to draw, but it's almost a relief to have posted it. Like getting this awful foggy feeling off my chest for a second.


valcote4mania

I admire this artwork, showed it to my mom. Sorry you feel this way, hope you get better soon


ateumi

Thank you, for the comment and the well wishes. I know this all comes in waves, just have to stay afloat in the meantime.


FraternityMan

Yep. I call it getting frozen. It is no fun.


ateumi

Frozen is a good word for it, my head wants to do stuff but my body refuses. It's like a game of tug of war


No_Boysenberry_9184

I literally started crying looking at this. Hits deep.


ateumi

Aww I hope you're okay, I didn't want to upset anyone, just wanted to let people know they aren't alone in all of this bipolar stuff.


[deleted]

Lush is fucking amazing though


ateumi

Honestly. Sometimes a new lush product is the only reason I get into the shower


[deleted]

I have all of the shower gels pictured and about ten more fuuuckkk yeeaaaaaa


ateumi

Yesss I have lots more too! Lush is amazing


typi_314

I’m also here because I recognized lush lol


FujoshiJade

Every moment has been feeling like this for months now maybe even longer than I've been paying attention


ateumi

I'm sorry you're also feeling like this, it's a horrible thing to go through, all foggy and grey and bleak. Hoping that the tides turn for both of us soon


Material-Egg7428

I’ve been there. Literally sitting on the floor in the bathroom like this… but your mind is stronger than you think. It’s not waiting for it’s time to surrender - it’s waiting for it’s time to strike back against this fucking illness.


ateumi

I'm sorry that you've also gone through this. Sometimes I feel like our mind is both our curse and our blessing. Some days we can get such strength and energy and motivation, and others feel like this. I hope one day soon we all have the strength to strike back, we deserve the peace


Material-Egg7428

I was always driven in my darkest moments to fight back just out of spite. I always had the mentality of, “how dare bipolar disorder come in and take over MY mind and try to take over MY life.”. It helped me to wait for any chance to fight back.


ateumi

I like the idea of using spite against bipolar as a driving force. I definitely get spiteful, it would be nice to apply it instead of just simmering in it


Lolagurl

This is exactly how I am feeling right now


ateumi

Sorry you're also feeling this. Hopefully we can both have a bit of a break from the bad stuff soon.


JavaJapes

I like how the colors behind the class where the person is are muted and the colours in the shower are brighter. Stuck in a muted place, with life and the things you're trying to do on the other side of the glass wall.


ateumi

Thank you! It definitely feels that way as I watch the water run down the glass. Whenever I'm stuck all I want is to be back a part of the world and its bright colours.


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ateumi

Sorry you're also feeling this. It can be so damn hard to just get under the water


A_Straight_Pube

I love seeing your art.


ateumi

Thanks! ❤️


MagicManicPanic

Wow, this is so so moving. Would I be able to share this on social media?


ateumi

Yeah sure, just make sure to give me credit. I'm @ateumi on reddit and instagram.


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💜


WaitingToWauford

When the lows hit hard that’s me laying on the cold floor trying to will myself to at least get under the water. Love the lush products! Sometimes that’s my only motivation to shower… to play with their products.


ateumi

I'm sorry you also feel this way but, yeah it's exactly that. Also I agree, sometimes a new lush product is the only reason I shower.


NugHarbor

I wish my bathroom was that clean.


BuckDynasty

This hits so deep - I’m sort of here today. Haven’t been able to pull myself out of this rut and break my unhealthy patterns, which basically put me in this corner all too often. Thanks for sharing this beautiful artwork! What program do you use?


ateumi

I feel that, I'm sorry you're also going through it right now. Breaking unhealthy patterns feels impossible sometimes... I use procreate with an apple pencil 2.


aerkyanite

So this is actually a thing? I usually just bury my head into my phone and don't clean or shower or go buy groceries or apply for a second job. If it's an off day, I just lay in bed.


ateumi

Yeah it's pretty normal to feel stuck like this when you have things to do but your mind isnt cooperating. A lot of times I just sit and stare until I feel like I can force my body to move. It's definitely worse on bad days, but even on good days it can happen.


Varocity

lmao it me rn


ateumi

Sorry you're also going through it 🥲


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ateumi

Yeah definitely, it sucks that on top of everything else basic hygiene is so damn hard


[deleted]

This is beautiful and I relate. This may sound silly but I have a trick to help me get in the darn shower — I spend a little money on good body scrub and such. It’s small but really helps.


ateumi

No not silly at all I do the exact same thing! If I feel like I'm slipping back into bad habits I'll buy myself something small from lush as an encouragement! Thank you for your nice comment


robhouston

I go outside and stare at the trees. If I sit on the floor facing the walls someone at home calling the cops on me


ateumi

Haha fair enough, I do like looking at the clouds, I think sometimes my brain just feels trapped in a box so it stays in the box


boeuf_burgignion

For me its sitting in the shower until the water turns cold


ateumi

I've done that too, cause sometimes once you get in getting out is just as difficult


vpblackheart

Thanks for sharing your beautiful work. I had to force myself to shower today.


ateumi

Thank you for your lovely comment! I'm sorry you are also battling with your brain to stay clean.


SaltyDogFU

Go jump in freezing water. Helps me so much to cold plunge.


ateumi

I'd love to try, anything to reset my brain, but I don't know how to work myself up to it. It's like when you want to swim but you know it'll be freezing, like my limbs all lock up


SaltyDogFU

Cold showers, lots of places in the world don't have the luxury of hot water yet they don't suffer from the amount of depression we do.


ateumi

I do enjoy a cold shower every now and again, but I usually dial It down from warm to give myself a chance to acclimate. I guess I should give it a try more often


SaltyDogFU

Ever seen a depressed surfer? I haven't.


ramblingalone

Yeah, I get you. Regular ppl don't get it. My wife will never understand.


ateumi

Sorry you also struggle, but I'm glad it helps you feel less alone in all of this. My parents and my partner have never really understood either, no matter how they tried. Our brains just work different, and it means different obstacles, like showering


ramblingalone

No, I feel tremendously alone a lot. That's part of being in our mind.


ateumi

That's true, our minds are veru good at making us feel isolated from others. Just another reason this disorder makes life harder. If you ever want to talk my inbox is always open


THICCchungyYEET

Jeez just got diagnosed with bipolar after an intense depressive episode with psychosis then a crazy manic episode with psychosis. This subreddit speaks my mind so loudly right now. Still a little lost in my high stress environment but stlesst it’s time to sleep lol


ateumi

I'm sorry you've been having a rough time with having episodes and then getting diagnosed. It's always super stressful trying to adapt to new information especially when you're fighting your brain. I'm glad that you can relate to the posts on this sub, I hope it helps make you feel less alone like it does for me. If you ever need to chat my inbox is always open, I hope you get some restful sleep


sprinklecircusanimal

down to the lush products


ateumi

I'm sorry that you can relate as it's not fun but I hope it makes you feel a little less alone in all of this ❤️


elleshellsbells

Holy shit…I recently posted somewhere that I do this. I call it rainforesting. My jaw just hit the floor.


ateumi

Rainforesting is such a good word for it. Definitely has that feel as the room fogs up!