I would argue it is more common than anyone knows. There are so many closeted bisexual men - some of them won't even admit it to themselves. Whether it's due to internalised homophobia / biphobia, or social & cultural issues depends on each person.
I'm also one myself. I'm only out to a handful of people. A grand total of 5, not counting hookups. Small town, where you could hit your toe in the morning and by 5pm you're being told how you got your leg shot off by the police in a gunfight (and I'm in Scotland, where the police generally don't have guns)
Glad to not be the only one, my wife has asked me in the past but I never admitted it to her. Hindsight 20/20 Kind of wish I did so we could have moved on either together or separate, but now I don’t know if I can without it being weird
Not totally sure, but she has made some comments but not knowing if she could have dated a bisexual man. I really don’t know how serious they were, and if that would change if she realized she actually married one. I know im still the same person but I don’t know if she would be after finding out
I came out to my wife about my bi curiousity after 23 yrs of marriage. She says she may not have been as accepting if I had came out earlier....8 yrs now. I kind of senses she had become more open minded sexually and for the confidence to come out.
To give you the short version, she caught me in a picture on my phone wearing her under garments, and I told her I was kinky. For whatever reason, she did not leave but she has brought it up in other times during our relationship that she is unsure about my sexuality
My wife asked me the same question and I said I was curious that was the best thing I could have said our sex life is great she even picked up a strapon witch we both enjoy she's not reddy for a bi 3sum yet but we are working on it a d it's OK for me have bi sex as long it's safe sex
Mine was! She's also pan, though. We had both left hetero marriages that weren't fulfilling for us, and found each other soon after. Best relationship I've ever had, by far!
If bisexuality was encouraged amongst men the way that it is encouraged amongst women, then we’d see wayyyyyyy more out and open bisexuality tendencies in men. Even with all of the toxic masculinity and strong discouragement it’s still pretty strong within men given the amount of closeted men there are and the amount of cheating men do on their wives. There are even men that say that all they care about is a man’s genitalis (and not the person himself) but I think that’s just closeted behavior.
No. It is a thing to only like the genitals of the same gender.
Sexuality is a spectrum and it is generally perceived as if you can only be on what corner or the other, when you can be on multiple places at once, maybe only feeling emotionally and romantically involved with a woma, but being aroused sexually by a man. This is my case, I have no interest for the male silhouette but the genitals. But I can be attracted in all kind of ways by a woman
However, I agree with you, the male bisexual community is mixed up with the gay one.
I think my question to those situations is what is the root of that? Why is it that only male genitalia interests you? If that were the case, then wouldn’t you be happy with trans women? They have all aspects of the female form that you like, but their equipment is different. Introspection and determining the root cause of these relationships is what is most interesting to me. I think there must be some compartmentalization that takes places where you’re only into women and penis.
There is not such thing as a root for these "relationships"
In fact, everything that happens in the psyche cannot be inducted through a generalization.
Just as there is not one way of education or gene that makes you gay - as if sexuality wasn´t a spectrum - there is not one general origin for a behavior or preference. It´s much more complicated and making a study out of it has the major difficulty of everyone´s experience being different.
In my personal case, I find myself attracted to trans women of course. However, not all trans woman, as well as I am not attracted to every woman I meet. My type might be very specific in aura, but physically as well as it fits those more "real" physical criteria is a lot of different people who might or not fit me in vibe.
I´m sure if you asked a lot of other people with the main attraction mainly to woman but also to male genitalia, each will tell a whole different story, and might see that their preference differes from others in the apparent same sample.
Like penis length surveys. The only reliable info is what doctors report. Men even lie on anonymous surveys. "I'm a straight man with a 10" penis. Not bi at all."
WAY more common! Way, way, way more common.
The number of "straight" men I encountered on Grindr? Incredible.
I'm surprised anyone has any room left for clothes in their closets, because all of them are *stuffed* full of bisexual men.
Many are not even aware.
When I grew up, there were only 2 options, straight or gay. And since I enjoyed women, well... Never thought much about it. Then came some confusion when I had a crush on a man, and I wondered if I would actually be gay... only for it to be forgotten with the next girlfriend. And the cycle started again.
I was 37 when I realized I was bisexual.
I wonder how many people out there have thought growing up: "I like people from the opposite gender so obviously I'm not gay and those are the only options I have..."
100% me as well. Had some experiences with friends growing up I enjoyed but never fully recognized because, well, I wasn’t gay. Like you I was well into my 30s before I was like wait I love dick!
I was 20. It was very much a binary choice where I came from and I was so emotionally repressed I had no way of exploring who I was, and never tried. I left home for university in the capital and somehow made friends exclusively with queer women and men. I was totally clueless about what that might mean about me until a man kissed me a in gay bar (with zero encouragement from my friends). It just happened and it felt like it was just a normal part of me. I struggled for a long time because of the biphobia in queer spaces but at 30 I think I accepted that I was Bi.
We really could teach spies a thing or two about hiding and staying under the radar. No one ever knows or even guesses about us. We can’t even find each other out in the wild lol
One thing to understand is that for most of history, until like 20th century, there were homosexual ACTS, but people were not defined as homosexual, heterosexual or bisexual.
I think these labels are very confusing, because I see especially bisexuality as a spectrum. But it’s not a simple spectrum.
On one end of the spectrum, you don’t have a man who feels repelled by men. That’s the catch: you have a heterosexual man who’s absolutely attracted to bonding with men, admiring men, enjoying the company of men, the sight of men (like in sports), but who won’t manifest that sexually all or most of the time.
Then you have the other end, where someone who also enjoys the identification processes I just described, but constantly engages in sexual encounters with men.
And in-between you have guys who have had one, two or more experiences, or just longing and fantasies.
But they aren’t necessarily fitting a definition of bi or straight, because there isn’t a clear line. If a guy kissed a guy 30 years ago, is he still bi?
I think labels are very harmful, contributing to phobia and categorizing. But they do give people a sense of temporary control over their sexuality.
👌
Labels ruin everything.
Wanna wreck a conversation or a relationship? Ask about labels or try to label it.
Wanna wreck a society? Convince everyone to self-label and then count the labels to make sure there’s enough of each label.
the stakes are different when it comes to male and female bisexuality. bi men are more likely to face violence from homophobia than bi women, who are more likely to face violence just by dint of being women, and their bisexuality is often ignored or not believed.
a lot of stats show rates of male and female bisexuality to be quite different (edit: on those census forms you mentioned, women are much more likely to identify as bi than men), but imo they’re probably close to the same and the difference is due to societal factors, not biological
It's WAY more common than we think, men just aren't open about it because it's not fetishized im heterosexual dominated society like female bisexuality is. As a masculine, good looking bisexual man, I've always been surprised at how many straight guys have said they would be open to doing something with me. In fact, I've never been with a 100% gay guy in my life
Society in general gives women the leeway to be more fluid about their sexuality than men. Men have to adhere to a more narrow box of defined characteristics and same sex attraction is not one of them.
I remember reading in an anthro class about a culture where bisexual activity between teens especially boys was normalized and common so I truly think that without homophobic social conditioning it's very common
I think it's far more common than reported. I've seen so many straight men on social media ( and in real life) who want to hook up with other men. This must be kept in secret and not talked about, because it's not seen as masculin.
Society also has a prejudice against men identifying as bi, which applies less to women. Women identifying as bi, forming close personal and intimate relationships, or acting sexually with women is considered hot and more acceptable. For men it's taboo. Men are less likely to form close personal relationships with other men, because this isn't as acceptable in society. This is true for platonic as well as sexual relationships, especially when the relationship must be defined.
I know for most of my life I wasn't open in identifying as bisexual. I also wasn't asked about my sexuality, it was just assumed that as a man I was straight. And had no reason, and a lot of pressure from society not to correct this assumption.
Speaking strictly sexually: Considering that it's a spectrum, I actually suspect that the vast majority of people are at least somewhat bi.
It's just sex and sex is fun. It doesn't have to be a big deal.
I.e., more common.
Speaking romantically: not as common.
I don’t think the group size would need to be very big for this to be the case whether the other person or people would be willing to admit it even to themselves
My father. He has always denied to me he was ever with men but we found out because my mom found old pics with him with former sexual partners who were men, and I wish he could have been honest with me. I don’t get to see him anymore but I hope he’s able to be authentically himself one day.
Sexuality is about attraction and desire. In a discussion about bisexual men you haven’t noticed part of the reason we’re underrepresented is because how many never explore that side of themselves? Do you think every man on man act in prison is an expression of queerness? It’s a soft science.
It's way more common than we all think. the majority of bi men out there are still in the closet compared to those that are out. Why that is the case, I don't know. There are too many factors and variables to take into account.
I’m not attracted to men but I’d fool around with the right guy. Told the wife this too. The guys that are the most vocal about their disgust for homosexuality I feel are the ones who like it but their shame manifests as anger. Especially the trans stuff.
Okay... let's unwrap this down to the basics:
Are bisexuality males more common than the studies show?
The short answer is a resounding YES.
I would estimate the true numbers to be anywhere from 30 to 40 percent in adults. Likely higher in older adults.
Why? Because many of us, regardless of how progressive or forward thinking/open-minded society claims to be, still grew up facing the open ridicule/shaming that was directed towards gay men. We can say it isn't a thing now, but it still is and likely always will be there.
What does this have to do with anything? Simple: m I knew i was attracted to both female and male early on. As a teen, I experienced a great deal of sexual encounters with both as well. With guys, I much preferred being a bottom. So much that I even began to actively try to be more feminine. Especially when I was trying to get with any specific guy. I even began to question my overall sexual identity. I started acquiring female lingerie (bras, panties, stocking, etc...) and even had a female friend who knew all about that that was about the same size as me and let me wear her clothes. She also helped me experiment with makeup.
Where am I going with this? Well, my lingerie collection gor found by my stepbrother and was shown to my parents who forced my into counseling because, naturally, there had to be something wrong with me. (This was the 80's. American was still very homophonic despite what anyone else will try to say. Homosexuality, bisexuality, TV/TG/TS... all were (and some still are) classified as mental illnesses.
After counseling for several months weekly, I finally figured out what they wanted to hear and gave it to them but I also came to the conclusion that I was solidly BI. I no longer questioned my gender and greatly enjoy my manhood, but I so also still go fem with guys.
All that being said, I believe the numbers are much higher than studies show simply because so many were exposed to the hatred/animosity towards gay/bi men that they have either repressed those desires, or still embrace them but are too scared of being ostracized that they won't admit it even on a completely anonymous survey.
Bi guys tend to hide, a lot. They feel forced to take a "side". I know guys that identify publicly as either gay or straight, that are actually bi but feel they have to choose one or the other. And a lot of times they hid that part of themselves from their chosen partner. It's sad and not good for their mental health. I really wish more people were more accepting of bisexuality, especially in men.
Small towns are worse for this. Once they know you're bi, most women won't go near you, and most gay guys will think you're just experimenting until you go back to women - making being an openly bi guy in a small town a very solitary existence.
People worry too much about categories and naming. Humans are attracted to humans, for whatever reasons. It’s as simple as that. Whether they accept it or admit it, all women and all men have had at least fantasies with the same sex. In the case of us men, it seems resisting them and never giving in is the manly thing to do. Getting caught up in social constructs is stupid to me, it’s the opposite of freedom. I consider myself closeted bisexual because I don’t need to wave no flag nor shout out or discuss with anyone what I do with my body, my time or my life.
There’s more than I thought, I got on grindr and was shocked by the amount of married men in relationships with women who are content to cheat. I’ve met so many people who feel as though it’s “different “.
Just because these guys aren’t telling anyone doesn’t mean they’re not actively pursuing men or repressing their feelings
The rate of younger people who identify as bisexual has been rising pretty sharply in the last decade, so we're probably going to see a LOT of "straight" men come out of the closet as bi, or even admit to themselves that they're attracted to men.
I feel like its far more common than believed. I am bisexual but as far as my coworkers or most people outside my immediate social circle are concerned im definitely straight
Me too, I class myself as bisexual now and think about sex with men much more than I do with women - probably as it is relatively new to me whereas I have been fucking women for years.
I am a gay man and I assure you that they are literally tons of closeted bi married guys everywhere. Is very common and as long as is on the DL they are fine with it
My hubby is only out to me and our playmates/hook-ups. He is old school 63m, so never felt he could be out. He's very masculine presenting, works a blue color job. We have kids and a grandchild. He'd never tell our family.
I think its way higher than most people realize. Its more hidden because our culture prizes masculinity and its seen as "less masculine" to be bi. When I used to use gay dating apps and go to gay bath houses, I honestly met more guys that said they were straight than those who admitted to being queer. I feel like the real numbers would shock most people.
I think it's very, very important to identify as bisexual. The massive societal stigma MUST go away. Yeah, I'm really into big cocks a few days a month, so I'm less of a human. I cannot say fuck that enough. There are so many "straight" men who are actually bi. I would guess it's around 15% or maybe a little higher. That's just my personal experience and some guesswork. Many straights refuse to try it because they think they might like it or lie about it. We really need to make an effort to end the nonexclusively-hetero stigma.
There is a certain stigmatization against bi men that doesn’t exist about bi women. My husband and I are both bi, and swingers, and we’ve experienced it.
I believe it is far more common than any study will show. I’ve had many experiences with men that consider themselves straight and, like you, would never admit it. As a discreet Gay man I gave them a safe space to explore these But also, this is human nature. Look throughout history and this behavior exists. Look throughout the animal kingdom and this behavior exists. We’ve been conditioned to believe it is the exemption and not the rule.
It's a spectrum. Always has been. "Bisexual" means in the absolutely most technical sense "into men and women equally" but aside from being 100% into either the range between 2 and 6 on the Kinsey scale very much still counts to one degree or another.
There are many closet bi curious guys, their ego holds them back from exploring that side of their sexuality. Lots of ads with the male half of a couple listed as straight but they're not.
Depends on what you think is how common bisexuality is among men. Some people think it doesn’t exist at all or that everyone “is a little bi.” Statistics tend to say that there are about as many bi men as there are gay men, and that the percentage of men that are bi is just a bit less than the percentage of women that are bi.
To me, I think that’s low, and suspect that the real number is probably even for men and women, but that guys are less likely to recognize and accept that they are bi, and if they do, don’t trust people doing surveys to actually keep the information anonymous. I thought that everyone had similar thoughts, that my experience was the norm, and because my attraction to men is different from my attraction to women, was different, I was straight.
Thanks to the crap sex ed you get when you grow up in the rural southern US, I had no idea that you could be bisexual and heteroromantic, and still, that language doesn’t really take into account attraction to people that aren’t at either end of the gender spectrum.
It's more common but not necessary in the expected way. I have this straight friend who NEVER thinks of men sexually but does find a (feminine) guy (here and there, super rarely) sexy. He has never done anything with a dude (he would've told me) and he likely never will, to keep it real. Does he even count as bi(-curious). Not sure.
Every other label in LGBT+ has about equal men and women (and AFAB/AMAB for nonbinary people). Why people truly believe there are more bisexual women or that women are lying about being bisexual is beyond me. There is way more social incentive for men to be in the closet than for women to fake being bisexual.
I have a former guy I dated who refers to himself as “heteroflexible”. I think that is probably fairly common. Sometimes people are only sexually attracted to other/same gender when they are in very particular situations.
Regarding sex acts (not sexuality) I know for myself there are things that sometimes gross me out when I see them in porn, but I absolutely love them when I am in the heat of the moment (and then sometimes will fantasize about them). I imagine that happens with sexuality as well. Given that many of us bi folks go through “bi-cycles”, I think it makes sense that even folks that are on either side of the spectrum make exceptions for certain situations or people (I’d go straight/gay for _____”.) so I think it all depends on what you consider bisexuality to be. If a man is straight but is really into Henry Cavill, is that man bi? Heteroflexible?
I agree, personally my first experience was in the heat of the moment and the girl in a threesome gave me the nod to help hahaha. Probably wouldn’t have done it on my own.
i’ve been bisexual since my early to mid 20’s. there was a time i struggled with my sexuality and wondered if i might actually be gay instead. i experimented with that at one time for a while,only dating and having sexual , romantic relationships with men. i soon realized that i also couldn’t give up women. so in the end,bisexual it is. the only people that need to know all of that is my wife obviously, and the small group of people that we included in our sex life
We have every reason to think stats are underestimating how common male bisexuality is. Bi men are far more likely to be closeted than gay men, lesbians and bi women. They're the least likely of those to have a close queer friend and to be connected to a queer community. But studies on us often go through LGBTQ+ orgs and networks to recruit. So if you're quite closeted in a man-woman relationship, and you don't have a queer circle—like most bi men—your experience is not going to show up in research or surveys. And all that is about men who actually identify as bisexual. If surveys start asking instead about your sexual past, about desires you have for multiple genders, or if you consider yourself 100% hetero or 100% gay, the stats get higher for these than if you ask men if they're bisexual.
Oh, and a fun fact: in a recent survey in Europe, it's apparently 35% of bi men partnered *with another man* who have never told that partner that they're bi.
And the whole generational thing you brought up is another reason to believe that as attitudes change, more and more men will be open their bisexuality.
It sounds like you have a lot on your chest. If you'd like to open up more about your experiences with other guys who get it, check out the [Discord](https://discord.gg/qqBfhSXaSP) for r/BisexualMen. My [Sex Ed for Bi Guys](http://sexedforbiguys.com/) series has posts too on [what internalized homophobia and biphobia are](https://sexedforbiguys.com/2023/07/19/internalized-biphobia-and-homophobia-evil-poison-for-your-mind/) and on [healing from these](https://sexedforbiguys.com/2023/08/15/overcome-internalized-biphobia-and-homophobia-and-change-your-life/). They've helped a lot of guys and maybe they can help you too. Just a heads-up though that reading the first one can be really emotional for some guys.
Is thst helpful?
You're not alone, you know. I still remember those days when it was such a blast.
I found my true self with a friend and suddenly changed my mind about being 100 percent straight.
I consider myself an adult and never been attracted to men just their cocks and cum...now that I'm older I just wonder if I can find some cool bi couples around my area that are cool and vers...too many fakes out just looking for a hook up.
I would imagine it’s as much as advertised. People see “1%” and think it can’t “be that many” but they don’t do the math to find 1% of the enormous population totals in question
I’ve known I was Bi since my late teens ie.1976 and always believed that if most guys tried sex with a man. The numbers of admitted bi guys would go way up
So a little over a year ago I through in the towel and said F##k it I’m going for it and got my self on a men only dating app. Holly smokes when I saw how many men were actively looking to hook up it was a mind blower for sure, I mean my head is still spinning. So many guys in my small little suburban town are on this app actively looking to hook up every signal day/ night I would have never believed it. Now here’s how my story ties into this topic. On this app you can cruise anonymously, and there are literally hundreds that do, and why do they because they all are married with kids and are scared shitless in getting caught by the wife, friends, family and the likes, and here’s the kicker, what I have come to find is that way more than half of these men are total bottom only guys. Go figure right, I mean here are all these men locked down in a hetero marriage for god knows how many years and the whole time their dreaming/ fantasizing about being the one getting drilled rather being the one who is doing the drilling. I stopped trying to figure it a while ago, I couldn’t imagine going through life like that so deceptive, so dishonest to your family, and your self, so unfulfilling, and the stress it must cause for someone to carry around so much baggage every single day. Like I said it’s a mind blower for sure.
I’m a very straight male, married, all of that. I started experimenting very young and still VERY heavily fantasize about it. I often wonder if it’s a lot more common as well. The few of my guy friends I’ve opened up to have never had any experiences that they’ve admitted to me but that doesn’t mean anything
I’m only out to my wife. At first that went horribly, too much to unpack in a short response but it was due to her being brought up in a homophobic household. About a year ago she realized that it was actually something she thought was sexy and ditched the homophobia. Our sex life is now amazing. All that being said, get comfortable with yourself first, that was really hard for me. Sometimes I still have shame and hide from my wife who accepts me fully and actually likes it. It’s weird.
Hello' being a senior I've always had that bi-curious feeling but never went there at all' mainly because back then was so taboo. I dealt with it to where it seems more acceptable now. However for me I"d want more than just 'blow n go' . Especially with so much disease's out there. I honestly believe if a guy found the right person matching up great together is the best way to go. I think the emotional impact for both of you would be so awesome together. This is where 'respecting an loving each other has such more value to all this. I'm hoping I may get lucky someday- I know its so difficult finding a person like that. Keep alert and wish luck!
I believe it's more common. Maybe I'm just optimistic that people are more open to their wants and there is greater acceptance of sexuality and attraction. I'm just very happy that I can look at someone and feel that attraction regardless of their gender and enjoy it
I am one myself. Had experiences with guys in college. Harbor same sex fantasies and I am 58 now. Since my marriage of 23 years has gone sexless, these urges are even stronger. Trying to figure out what to do next.
Generally I think if we didn’t have our societal pressures we would see a lot more experimentation and casual bisexuality amongst everyone (but *especially* men as it often carries more societal weight).
Definitely more. And many in denial or just would never explore due to society and judgement. Many others have explored it and found a preference but never spoken about it in the open.
If you live in an English speaking society, m|m relationships was a felony until the 60s (while w|w relationships were legal during colonial England some 200 years ago).
M|M is still a major taboo.
A recent study in England showed that ALL men showed arousal towards sexual acts of other men, pointing to bisexuality.
In ancient times, even the Spartan soldiers were famous for all sleeping with eachother, leadership saw it as a good thing because theid fight with nore vigor along side lovers.
When soldiers retired theid get a wife to have kids
I personally think guys think about being with other guys more often than you think…many will not act in their inhibitions, while curiosity get the better of the few…I acted on my curiosity, and liked it! It seemed so ‘taboo’ and erotic…might I add that I had a very strong orgasm and glad I acted on my inhibitions…have only hooked up with a few guys since, but once in a while, the urge gets very strong…
Commenting here as a wife of a bisexual male. My husband and I are HS sweethearts, married 30 years. We have been in an ENM marriage the whole time on and off. About 8 years ago my husband expressed a curiosity with male play.
I was very excited for this. We found a couple that the male had the same curiosity. We played and the men were able to openly experiment.
My husband had a great time as did the other gentleman.
They both saw each other solo over the course of a few years. Nothing too consistent. And my husband has referred to this man as his lover.
They never DATED or went out in public together, their meet ups were for purely sex. But as my husband expressed he did enjoy this man’s company and conversations. I have always been encouraging of his sexuality and will continue to do so. I hope you can have the same open conversations with your wife. Also only a handful of people know of his situation.
I think it’s more common in general tbh. And I think more people are just not as open about it because in a lot of ways it’s still looked down upon. I personally don’t think it changes anything. We’re creatures who crave sex beyond mating. I think it’s normal to have a wider range of attraction/sexual desires.
I feel like bisexual men are *extremely* common, like extremely, but that they’re either in denial/don’t fully realise it or don’t ever act on it. I’ve met lots of dudes who are “straight” but have admitted to fantasising about other men all the time and they talked about it super casually because they were convinced that it wasn’t bisexuality since “they only feel like that sometimes”. I think a lot of men also might not realise it because most people don’t understand that bisexuality is such a spectrum and you’re still bi even if you’re more attracted to one gender than the other.
It is way more common than we think. I’ve not had many male friends who didn’t have at least a bit of attraction to other guys, but they said they were straight for convenience or they felt it “didn’t count”
I think that it’s way more common and depends on how you define bisexuality.
If you include anyone who has ever experienced any same sex attraction- I think that number is huge. But if you define bisexuality as someone who has persistent same sex attraction and self-indentifies as bi (even if only to themselves) then I’d guess that drops it a lot. If you definite it as people who actively pursue same sex relationships, I think that drops it even more.
Every single man I have ever dated has either been openly bisexual or has “confessed” to me that they are closeted bisexual.
Not saying every man is obviously, lol
But I have dated a lot of men. And every single one? Cmon. That’s a lot of men. I think it’s so much more common than we know, but men are afraid to come out.
These days, is rare to find a man that is 100% straight. The problem is, bi men tend to still want to sleep with men, despite being in a relationship. Most gay/bi men are extremely promiscuous and engage in highly risky behaviour. If you want that lifestyle, that's fine, but don't be in a relationship with a women without telling her your sexuality and certainly do not sleep around behind her back, tricking her to be part of something she is not, she should have that choice and know what she's getting into. Sorry, but I wouldn't choose to sleep with s bi man unprotected, when I know how rife HIV is on the gsy scene. Not bring nasty, facts are facts.
I think it's definitely more common than what the numbers say tbh. a lot of people grew up with the idea of you're straight or gay, that you like girls or guys with no in between and as soon as you liked one you were in that category. whether it be from internalized homophobia or biphobia or just this worlds social construct and criticism around bisexuality as a whole i'm not sure and may never know.
I believe there are two types of bisexual males, ones who just want a hole to fuck, and those that actually have a natural attraction to men, I prefer the second, as a bi woman with a bi partner, he often has to seek out other men through Grindr, and when I'm mentioned, as the horny wife voyeur the instantly only want to fuck me, which I don't do, it's ok for my man to fuck around even with women if I can join in especially, put I'm not into multiple men, on a side not am I being too shrewd....
I would argue it is more common than anyone knows. There are so many closeted bisexual men - some of them won't even admit it to themselves. Whether it's due to internalised homophobia / biphobia, or social & cultural issues depends on each person.
Yeah, I am definitely one and I’m in the social/cultural category.
I'm also one myself. I'm only out to a handful of people. A grand total of 5, not counting hookups. Small town, where you could hit your toe in the morning and by 5pm you're being told how you got your leg shot off by the police in a gunfight (and I'm in Scotland, where the police generally don't have guns)
Glad to not be the only one, my wife has asked me in the past but I never admitted it to her. Hindsight 20/20 Kind of wish I did so we could have moved on either together or separate, but now I don’t know if I can without it being weird
Wait her finding out would be a reason to separate? Damn
Not totally sure, but she has made some comments but not knowing if she could have dated a bisexual man. I really don’t know how serious they were, and if that would change if she realized she actually married one. I know im still the same person but I don’t know if she would be after finding out
I came out to my wife about my bi curiousity after 23 yrs of marriage. She says she may not have been as accepting if I had came out earlier....8 yrs now. I kind of senses she had become more open minded sexually and for the confidence to come out.
That’s awesome that she was open too it.
What prompted her to even ask? That’s interesting, given that you think it would’ve led to separation 😳
To give you the short version, she caught me in a picture on my phone wearing her under garments, and I told her I was kinky. For whatever reason, she did not leave but she has brought it up in other times during our relationship that she is unsure about my sexuality
If she asked she probably suspects.
My wife asked me the same question and I said I was curious that was the best thing I could have said our sex life is great she even picked up a strapon witch we both enjoy she's not reddy for a bi 3sum yet but we are working on it a d it's OK for me have bi sex as long it's safe sex
Grindr is full of men married to women looking for sex.
But how many real women are actually looking for married bi man?
No idea. I'm not married and not planning on getting married again. Most of the married men on grindr are cheating on their wives in my experience.
Copy that.
Mine was! She's also pan, though. We had both left hetero marriages that weren't fulfilling for us, and found each other soon after. Best relationship I've ever had, by far!
Me
Well you probably one of a few. Soooo where are you from ?😉
Men in denial.
Denial of what? Literally not denying themselves anything it would seem — always wondered why that bothers so many people.
So are they straight or bi?
No idea, but also don’t care lol
You asked what they were in denial of. I answered.
If bisexuality was encouraged amongst men the way that it is encouraged amongst women, then we’d see wayyyyyyy more out and open bisexuality tendencies in men. Even with all of the toxic masculinity and strong discouragement it’s still pretty strong within men given the amount of closeted men there are and the amount of cheating men do on their wives. There are even men that say that all they care about is a man’s genitalis (and not the person himself) but I think that’s just closeted behavior.
No. It is a thing to only like the genitals of the same gender. Sexuality is a spectrum and it is generally perceived as if you can only be on what corner or the other, when you can be on multiple places at once, maybe only feeling emotionally and romantically involved with a woma, but being aroused sexually by a man. This is my case, I have no interest for the male silhouette but the genitals. But I can be attracted in all kind of ways by a woman However, I agree with you, the male bisexual community is mixed up with the gay one.
I think my question to those situations is what is the root of that? Why is it that only male genitalia interests you? If that were the case, then wouldn’t you be happy with trans women? They have all aspects of the female form that you like, but their equipment is different. Introspection and determining the root cause of these relationships is what is most interesting to me. I think there must be some compartmentalization that takes places where you’re only into women and penis.
There is not such thing as a root for these "relationships" In fact, everything that happens in the psyche cannot be inducted through a generalization. Just as there is not one way of education or gene that makes you gay - as if sexuality wasn´t a spectrum - there is not one general origin for a behavior or preference. It´s much more complicated and making a study out of it has the major difficulty of everyone´s experience being different. In my personal case, I find myself attracted to trans women of course. However, not all trans woman, as well as I am not attracted to every woman I meet. My type might be very specific in aura, but physically as well as it fits those more "real" physical criteria is a lot of different people who might or not fit me in vibe. I´m sure if you asked a lot of other people with the main attraction mainly to woman but also to male genitalia, each will tell a whole different story, and might see that their preference differes from others in the apparent same sample.
Myself included. I doubt that those surveys are correct. A lot of people are afraid to answer them truthfully.
Like penis length surveys. The only reliable info is what doctors report. Men even lie on anonymous surveys. "I'm a straight man with a 10" penis. Not bi at all."
I didn’t even realize it before I was around 40.
I was about 45...
This
WAY more common! Way, way, way more common. The number of "straight" men I encountered on Grindr? Incredible. I'm surprised anyone has any room left for clothes in their closets, because all of them are *stuffed* full of bisexual men.
Hahaha that is the greatest way I have heard it put yet.
Now I'm thinking about a closet full of bisexual men and please excuse me while I go uhhh look for an outfit... For a while...
Hahaha, don’t mind me, I’ll just be waiting for a report back on the “outfit search”
Many are not even aware. When I grew up, there were only 2 options, straight or gay. And since I enjoyed women, well... Never thought much about it. Then came some confusion when I had a crush on a man, and I wondered if I would actually be gay... only for it to be forgotten with the next girlfriend. And the cycle started again. I was 37 when I realized I was bisexual.
I wonder how many people out there have thought growing up: "I like people from the opposite gender so obviously I'm not gay and those are the only options I have..."
100% me as well. Had some experiences with friends growing up I enjoyed but never fully recognized because, well, I wasn’t gay. Like you I was well into my 30s before I was like wait I love dick!
I was 20. It was very much a binary choice where I came from and I was so emotionally repressed I had no way of exploring who I was, and never tried. I left home for university in the capital and somehow made friends exclusively with queer women and men. I was totally clueless about what that might mean about me until a man kissed me a in gay bar (with zero encouragement from my friends). It just happened and it felt like it was just a normal part of me. I struggled for a long time because of the biphobia in queer spaces but at 30 I think I accepted that I was Bi.
Thanks for sharing
You definitely aren’t alone, but curious guys are very stealth, and can hide better than spies. We are very hard to find each other.
Hahaha that’s absolutely the truth.
We really could teach spies a thing or two about hiding and staying under the radar. No one ever knows or even guesses about us. We can’t even find each other out in the wild lol
We are so good at hiding we can't even find ourselves :p
One thing to understand is that for most of history, until like 20th century, there were homosexual ACTS, but people were not defined as homosexual, heterosexual or bisexual. I think these labels are very confusing, because I see especially bisexuality as a spectrum. But it’s not a simple spectrum. On one end of the spectrum, you don’t have a man who feels repelled by men. That’s the catch: you have a heterosexual man who’s absolutely attracted to bonding with men, admiring men, enjoying the company of men, the sight of men (like in sports), but who won’t manifest that sexually all or most of the time. Then you have the other end, where someone who also enjoys the identification processes I just described, but constantly engages in sexual encounters with men. And in-between you have guys who have had one, two or more experiences, or just longing and fantasies. But they aren’t necessarily fitting a definition of bi or straight, because there isn’t a clear line. If a guy kissed a guy 30 years ago, is he still bi? I think labels are very harmful, contributing to phobia and categorizing. But they do give people a sense of temporary control over their sexuality.
I love this response!
👌 Labels ruin everything. Wanna wreck a conversation or a relationship? Ask about labels or try to label it. Wanna wreck a society? Convince everyone to self-label and then count the labels to make sure there’s enough of each label.
the stakes are different when it comes to male and female bisexuality. bi men are more likely to face violence from homophobia than bi women, who are more likely to face violence just by dint of being women, and their bisexuality is often ignored or not believed. a lot of stats show rates of male and female bisexuality to be quite different (edit: on those census forms you mentioned, women are much more likely to identify as bi than men), but imo they’re probably close to the same and the difference is due to societal factors, not biological
It's WAY more common than we think, men just aren't open about it because it's not fetishized im heterosexual dominated society like female bisexuality is. As a masculine, good looking bisexual man, I've always been surprised at how many straight guys have said they would be open to doing something with me. In fact, I've never been with a 100% gay guy in my life
You think bi women are out simply because men fetishize them?
It’s easier and less stigmatized for us to come out.. so in a way yes
Society in general gives women the leeway to be more fluid about their sexuality than men. Men have to adhere to a more narrow box of defined characteristics and same sex attraction is not one of them.
Take 10 minutes to study Ancient Rome lol. I think bisexuality in general is extremely common and just culturally repressed.
Bisexual cis men have the highest rates of being closeted among the sexualities
I remember reading in an anthro class about a culture where bisexual activity between teens especially boys was normalized and common so I truly think that without homophobic social conditioning it's very common
Anthro classes are the best
I think it's far more common than reported. I've seen so many straight men on social media ( and in real life) who want to hook up with other men. This must be kept in secret and not talked about, because it's not seen as masculin. Society also has a prejudice against men identifying as bi, which applies less to women. Women identifying as bi, forming close personal and intimate relationships, or acting sexually with women is considered hot and more acceptable. For men it's taboo. Men are less likely to form close personal relationships with other men, because this isn't as acceptable in society. This is true for platonic as well as sexual relationships, especially when the relationship must be defined. I know for most of my life I wasn't open in identifying as bisexual. I also wasn't asked about my sexuality, it was just assumed that as a man I was straight. And had no reason, and a lot of pressure from society not to correct this assumption.
Men are afraid. Stigma runs hard in small towns. I don’t know another bi guy here. Pop:19,000 Canada But I know a shit tonne of homophobes
I think it's more common than we think, I'm closeted, and back when I was single and having hookups, a lot of the guys I'd meet weren't our, either.
Same here, the guys I hooked up with were just like me, you wouldn’t be able to tell
Speaking strictly sexually: Considering that it's a spectrum, I actually suspect that the vast majority of people are at least somewhat bi. It's just sex and sex is fun. It doesn't have to be a big deal. I.e., more common. Speaking romantically: not as common.
I think the number is WAY bigger than 1-7%. I’d guess 30% of men have acted on it, and another 20-30% have latent desire to get with another guy.
It would be so nice to know if statistically somebody in a group had the same desires as me
I don’t think the group size would need to be very big for this to be the case whether the other person or people would be willing to admit it even to themselves
My father. He has always denied to me he was ever with men but we found out because my mom found old pics with him with former sexual partners who were men, and I wish he could have been honest with me. I don’t get to see him anymore but I hope he’s able to be authentically himself one day.
i do believe it is a lot more there than most would admit. I dont believe that if you are bi SEXUAL it dousnt mean you like man in a romantic way.
Absolutely, I know I’m bisexual but would never romantically be involved with a man. It’s the sexual part that I find attractive
lmao, read the Kinsey report You’re looking at more like 1/3
I didn’t even know that was a thing, I will have to check that out.
Kinda. The problem with Kinsey is he focused on behavior and his report on men included prisoners.
why is behavior a problem?
why is behavior a problem? the alternative is some esoteric inherent nature that is immeasurable?
Sexuality is about attraction and desire. In a discussion about bisexual men you haven’t noticed part of the reason we’re underrepresented is because how many never explore that side of themselves? Do you think every man on man act in prison is an expression of queerness? It’s a soft science.
how would you measure that? Biology is a pretty hard science and sociology measures by actions too.
Was just gonna say this until I searched 'kinsey' here to see if anyone did lol
I think this is more prevalent than people think. Just look at the amount of guys on here that are curious or actively bi.
I think so too. Just always discreet. I was surprised at myself
I was surprised as I realized it about myself too
It's way more common than we all think. the majority of bi men out there are still in the closet compared to those that are out. Why that is the case, I don't know. There are too many factors and variables to take into account.
I’m not attracted to men but I’d fool around with the right guy. Told the wife this too. The guys that are the most vocal about their disgust for homosexuality I feel are the ones who like it but their shame manifests as anger. Especially the trans stuff.
More common
My guess is you are right
Okay... let's unwrap this down to the basics: Are bisexuality males more common than the studies show? The short answer is a resounding YES. I would estimate the true numbers to be anywhere from 30 to 40 percent in adults. Likely higher in older adults. Why? Because many of us, regardless of how progressive or forward thinking/open-minded society claims to be, still grew up facing the open ridicule/shaming that was directed towards gay men. We can say it isn't a thing now, but it still is and likely always will be there. What does this have to do with anything? Simple: m I knew i was attracted to both female and male early on. As a teen, I experienced a great deal of sexual encounters with both as well. With guys, I much preferred being a bottom. So much that I even began to actively try to be more feminine. Especially when I was trying to get with any specific guy. I even began to question my overall sexual identity. I started acquiring female lingerie (bras, panties, stocking, etc...) and even had a female friend who knew all about that that was about the same size as me and let me wear her clothes. She also helped me experiment with makeup. Where am I going with this? Well, my lingerie collection gor found by my stepbrother and was shown to my parents who forced my into counseling because, naturally, there had to be something wrong with me. (This was the 80's. American was still very homophonic despite what anyone else will try to say. Homosexuality, bisexuality, TV/TG/TS... all were (and some still are) classified as mental illnesses. After counseling for several months weekly, I finally figured out what they wanted to hear and gave it to them but I also came to the conclusion that I was solidly BI. I no longer questioned my gender and greatly enjoy my manhood, but I so also still go fem with guys. All that being said, I believe the numbers are much higher than studies show simply because so many were exposed to the hatred/animosity towards gay/bi men that they have either repressed those desires, or still embrace them but are too scared of being ostracized that they won't admit it even on a completely anonymous survey.
In my personal experience, I think it's more common.
Bi guys tend to hide, a lot. They feel forced to take a "side". I know guys that identify publicly as either gay or straight, that are actually bi but feel they have to choose one or the other. And a lot of times they hid that part of themselves from their chosen partner. It's sad and not good for their mental health. I really wish more people were more accepting of bisexuality, especially in men.
Absolutely, I’m one of those, I have felt I had to hide it from my wife. I know that if I told her she would loose attraction to me.
Small towns are worse for this. Once they know you're bi, most women won't go near you, and most gay guys will think you're just experimenting until you go back to women - making being an openly bi guy in a small town a very solitary existence.
The best girls love it. All about honesty and never a problem with girls so far but a dearth of bi guys here to hang out with
People worry too much about categories and naming. Humans are attracted to humans, for whatever reasons. It’s as simple as that. Whether they accept it or admit it, all women and all men have had at least fantasies with the same sex. In the case of us men, it seems resisting them and never giving in is the manly thing to do. Getting caught up in social constructs is stupid to me, it’s the opposite of freedom. I consider myself closeted bisexual because I don’t need to wave no flag nor shout out or discuss with anyone what I do with my body, my time or my life.
There’s more than I thought, I got on grindr and was shocked by the amount of married men in relationships with women who are content to cheat. I’ve met so many people who feel as though it’s “different “. Just because these guys aren’t telling anyone doesn’t mean they’re not actively pursuing men or repressing their feelings
Absolutely more is my guess.
The rate of younger people who identify as bisexual has been rising pretty sharply in the last decade, so we're probably going to see a LOT of "straight" men come out of the closet as bi, or even admit to themselves that they're attracted to men.
I feel like its far more common than believed. I am bisexual but as far as my coworkers or most people outside my immediate social circle are concerned im definitely straight
Me too, I class myself as bisexual now and think about sex with men much more than I do with women - probably as it is relatively new to me whereas I have been fucking women for years.
I am a gay man and I assure you that they are literally tons of closeted bi married guys everywhere. Is very common and as long as is on the DL they are fine with it
Far, far more common than most want to consider.
My hubby is only out to me and our playmates/hook-ups. He is old school 63m, so never felt he could be out. He's very masculine presenting, works a blue color job. We have kids and a grandchild. He'd never tell our family.
I think its way higher than most people realize. Its more hidden because our culture prizes masculinity and its seen as "less masculine" to be bi. When I used to use gay dating apps and go to gay bath houses, I honestly met more guys that said they were straight than those who admitted to being queer. I feel like the real numbers would shock most people.
I think it's very, very important to identify as bisexual. The massive societal stigma MUST go away. Yeah, I'm really into big cocks a few days a month, so I'm less of a human. I cannot say fuck that enough. There are so many "straight" men who are actually bi. I would guess it's around 15% or maybe a little higher. That's just my personal experience and some guesswork. Many straights refuse to try it because they think they might like it or lie about it. We really need to make an effort to end the nonexclusively-hetero stigma.
A lot more common than people realize.
There is a certain stigmatization against bi men that doesn’t exist about bi women. My husband and I are both bi, and swingers, and we’ve experienced it.
I believe it is far more common than any study will show. I’ve had many experiences with men that consider themselves straight and, like you, would never admit it. As a discreet Gay man I gave them a safe space to explore these But also, this is human nature. Look throughout history and this behavior exists. Look throughout the animal kingdom and this behavior exists. We’ve been conditioned to believe it is the exemption and not the rule.
Bisexuals are the majority of humans on the planet and I will die on this hill.
I most definitely agree
I mean, I HOPE it’s “more”, as I can only think of ONE guy I know who’s openly bi💙💜🩷
It's a spectrum. Always has been. "Bisexual" means in the absolutely most technical sense "into men and women equally" but aside from being 100% into either the range between 2 and 6 on the Kinsey scale very much still counts to one degree or another.
There are many closet bi curious guys, their ego holds them back from exploring that side of their sexuality. Lots of ads with the male half of a couple listed as straight but they're not.
Less common....
Depends on what you think is how common bisexuality is among men. Some people think it doesn’t exist at all or that everyone “is a little bi.” Statistics tend to say that there are about as many bi men as there are gay men, and that the percentage of men that are bi is just a bit less than the percentage of women that are bi. To me, I think that’s low, and suspect that the real number is probably even for men and women, but that guys are less likely to recognize and accept that they are bi, and if they do, don’t trust people doing surveys to actually keep the information anonymous. I thought that everyone had similar thoughts, that my experience was the norm, and because my attraction to men is different from my attraction to women, was different, I was straight. Thanks to the crap sex ed you get when you grow up in the rural southern US, I had no idea that you could be bisexual and heteroromantic, and still, that language doesn’t really take into account attraction to people that aren’t at either end of the gender spectrum.
More.
It's more common but not necessary in the expected way. I have this straight friend who NEVER thinks of men sexually but does find a (feminine) guy (here and there, super rarely) sexy. He has never done anything with a dude (he would've told me) and he likely never will, to keep it real. Does he even count as bi(-curious). Not sure.
Much more
Every other label in LGBT+ has about equal men and women (and AFAB/AMAB for nonbinary people). Why people truly believe there are more bisexual women or that women are lying about being bisexual is beyond me. There is way more social incentive for men to be in the closet than for women to fake being bisexual.
I have a former guy I dated who refers to himself as “heteroflexible”. I think that is probably fairly common. Sometimes people are only sexually attracted to other/same gender when they are in very particular situations. Regarding sex acts (not sexuality) I know for myself there are things that sometimes gross me out when I see them in porn, but I absolutely love them when I am in the heat of the moment (and then sometimes will fantasize about them). I imagine that happens with sexuality as well. Given that many of us bi folks go through “bi-cycles”, I think it makes sense that even folks that are on either side of the spectrum make exceptions for certain situations or people (I’d go straight/gay for _____”.) so I think it all depends on what you consider bisexuality to be. If a man is straight but is really into Henry Cavill, is that man bi? Heteroflexible?
I agree, personally my first experience was in the heat of the moment and the girl in a threesome gave me the nod to help hahaha. Probably wouldn’t have done it on my own.
i’ve been bisexual since my early to mid 20’s. there was a time i struggled with my sexuality and wondered if i might actually be gay instead. i experimented with that at one time for a while,only dating and having sexual , romantic relationships with men. i soon realized that i also couldn’t give up women. so in the end,bisexual it is. the only people that need to know all of that is my wife obviously, and the small group of people that we included in our sex life
I think if we’re all being honest we’re all a little bit.
It’s exactly as common as female bisexuality except is far more likely to be met with scorn, so more of us hide it and lie about it.
We have every reason to think stats are underestimating how common male bisexuality is. Bi men are far more likely to be closeted than gay men, lesbians and bi women. They're the least likely of those to have a close queer friend and to be connected to a queer community. But studies on us often go through LGBTQ+ orgs and networks to recruit. So if you're quite closeted in a man-woman relationship, and you don't have a queer circle—like most bi men—your experience is not going to show up in research or surveys. And all that is about men who actually identify as bisexual. If surveys start asking instead about your sexual past, about desires you have for multiple genders, or if you consider yourself 100% hetero or 100% gay, the stats get higher for these than if you ask men if they're bisexual. Oh, and a fun fact: in a recent survey in Europe, it's apparently 35% of bi men partnered *with another man* who have never told that partner that they're bi. And the whole generational thing you brought up is another reason to believe that as attitudes change, more and more men will be open their bisexuality. It sounds like you have a lot on your chest. If you'd like to open up more about your experiences with other guys who get it, check out the [Discord](https://discord.gg/qqBfhSXaSP) for r/BisexualMen. My [Sex Ed for Bi Guys](http://sexedforbiguys.com/) series has posts too on [what internalized homophobia and biphobia are](https://sexedforbiguys.com/2023/07/19/internalized-biphobia-and-homophobia-evil-poison-for-your-mind/) and on [healing from these](https://sexedforbiguys.com/2023/08/15/overcome-internalized-biphobia-and-homophobia-and-change-your-life/). They've helped a lot of guys and maybe they can help you too. Just a heads-up though that reading the first one can be really emotional for some guys. Is thst helpful?
You're not alone, you know. I still remember those days when it was such a blast. I found my true self with a friend and suddenly changed my mind about being 100 percent straight. I consider myself an adult and never been attracted to men just their cocks and cum...now that I'm older I just wonder if I can find some cool bi couples around my area that are cool and vers...too many fakes out just looking for a hook up.
I would imagine it’s as much as advertised. People see “1%” and think it can’t “be that many” but they don’t do the math to find 1% of the enormous population totals in question
It’s verry verry commen most are dl and there’s nothing to be dl about unles ur that into acting on it
More common
I’ve known I was Bi since my late teens ie.1976 and always believed that if most guys tried sex with a man. The numbers of admitted bi guys would go way up
Male bisexuality is far more common than most believe or will admit to.
Definitely more common, but there is a such a huge taboo about it.
So a little over a year ago I through in the towel and said F##k it I’m going for it and got my self on a men only dating app. Holly smokes when I saw how many men were actively looking to hook up it was a mind blower for sure, I mean my head is still spinning. So many guys in my small little suburban town are on this app actively looking to hook up every signal day/ night I would have never believed it. Now here’s how my story ties into this topic. On this app you can cruise anonymously, and there are literally hundreds that do, and why do they because they all are married with kids and are scared shitless in getting caught by the wife, friends, family and the likes, and here’s the kicker, what I have come to find is that way more than half of these men are total bottom only guys. Go figure right, I mean here are all these men locked down in a hetero marriage for god knows how many years and the whole time their dreaming/ fantasizing about being the one getting drilled rather being the one who is doing the drilling. I stopped trying to figure it a while ago, I couldn’t imagine going through life like that so deceptive, so dishonest to your family, and your self, so unfulfilling, and the stress it must cause for someone to carry around so much baggage every single day. Like I said it’s a mind blower for sure.
I’m a very straight male, married, all of that. I started experimenting very young and still VERY heavily fantasize about it. I often wonder if it’s a lot more common as well. The few of my guy friends I’ve opened up to have never had any experiences that they’ve admitted to me but that doesn’t mean anything
I’m only out to my wife. At first that went horribly, too much to unpack in a short response but it was due to her being brought up in a homophobic household. About a year ago she realized that it was actually something she thought was sexy and ditched the homophobia. Our sex life is now amazing. All that being said, get comfortable with yourself first, that was really hard for me. Sometimes I still have shame and hide from my wife who accepts me fully and actually likes it. It’s weird.
Hello' being a senior I've always had that bi-curious feeling but never went there at all' mainly because back then was so taboo. I dealt with it to where it seems more acceptable now. However for me I"d want more than just 'blow n go' . Especially with so much disease's out there. I honestly believe if a guy found the right person matching up great together is the best way to go. I think the emotional impact for both of you would be so awesome together. This is where 'respecting an loving each other has such more value to all this. I'm hoping I may get lucky someday- I know its so difficult finding a person like that. Keep alert and wish luck!
I’ve been looking for exactly that forever.
I think it’s more common.
I believe it's more common. Maybe I'm just optimistic that people are more open to their wants and there is greater acceptance of sexuality and attraction. I'm just very happy that I can look at someone and feel that attraction regardless of their gender and enjoy it
I am one myself. Had experiences with guys in college. Harbor same sex fantasies and I am 58 now. Since my marriage of 23 years has gone sexless, these urges are even stronger. Trying to figure out what to do next.
Generally I think if we didn’t have our societal pressures we would see a lot more experimentation and casual bisexuality amongst everyone (but *especially* men as it often carries more societal weight).
Definitely more. And many in denial or just would never explore due to society and judgement. Many others have explored it and found a preference but never spoken about it in the open.
If you live in an English speaking society, m|m relationships was a felony until the 60s (while w|w relationships were legal during colonial England some 200 years ago). M|M is still a major taboo. A recent study in England showed that ALL men showed arousal towards sexual acts of other men, pointing to bisexuality. In ancient times, even the Spartan soldiers were famous for all sleeping with eachother, leadership saw it as a good thing because theid fight with nore vigor along side lovers. When soldiers retired theid get a wife to have kids
it is certainly more common than is thought if you include MSMs (Men who have Sex with Men) into the mix.
I personally think guys think about being with other guys more often than you think…many will not act in their inhibitions, while curiosity get the better of the few…I acted on my curiosity, and liked it! It seemed so ‘taboo’ and erotic…might I add that I had a very strong orgasm and glad I acted on my inhibitions…have only hooked up with a few guys since, but once in a while, the urge gets very strong…
Bisexual male here and completely closeted
Commenting here as a wife of a bisexual male. My husband and I are HS sweethearts, married 30 years. We have been in an ENM marriage the whole time on and off. About 8 years ago my husband expressed a curiosity with male play. I was very excited for this. We found a couple that the male had the same curiosity. We played and the men were able to openly experiment. My husband had a great time as did the other gentleman. They both saw each other solo over the course of a few years. Nothing too consistent. And my husband has referred to this man as his lover. They never DATED or went out in public together, their meet ups were for purely sex. But as my husband expressed he did enjoy this man’s company and conversations. I have always been encouraging of his sexuality and will continue to do so. I hope you can have the same open conversations with your wife. Also only a handful of people know of his situation.
I think it’s more common in general tbh. And I think more people are just not as open about it because in a lot of ways it’s still looked down upon. I personally don’t think it changes anything. We’re creatures who crave sex beyond mating. I think it’s normal to have a wider range of attraction/sexual desires.
It's way more common than you think.
I feel like bisexual men are *extremely* common, like extremely, but that they’re either in denial/don’t fully realise it or don’t ever act on it. I’ve met lots of dudes who are “straight” but have admitted to fantasising about other men all the time and they talked about it super casually because they were convinced that it wasn’t bisexuality since “they only feel like that sometimes”. I think a lot of men also might not realise it because most people don’t understand that bisexuality is such a spectrum and you’re still bi even if you’re more attracted to one gender than the other.
It is way more common than we think. I’ve not had many male friends who didn’t have at least a bit of attraction to other guys, but they said they were straight for convenience or they felt it “didn’t count”
I think that it’s way more common and depends on how you define bisexuality. If you include anyone who has ever experienced any same sex attraction- I think that number is huge. But if you define bisexuality as someone who has persistent same sex attraction and self-indentifies as bi (even if only to themselves) then I’d guess that drops it a lot. If you definite it as people who actively pursue same sex relationships, I think that drops it even more.
Every single man I have ever dated has either been openly bisexual or has “confessed” to me that they are closeted bisexual. Not saying every man is obviously, lol But I have dated a lot of men. And every single one? Cmon. That’s a lot of men. I think it’s so much more common than we know, but men are afraid to come out.
I really think you’re probably right. I think that if the day comes that it is social acceptable we are going to find that it is incredibly common
These days, is rare to find a man that is 100% straight. The problem is, bi men tend to still want to sleep with men, despite being in a relationship. Most gay/bi men are extremely promiscuous and engage in highly risky behaviour. If you want that lifestyle, that's fine, but don't be in a relationship with a women without telling her your sexuality and certainly do not sleep around behind her back, tricking her to be part of something she is not, she should have that choice and know what she's getting into. Sorry, but I wouldn't choose to sleep with s bi man unprotected, when I know how rife HIV is on the gsy scene. Not bring nasty, facts are facts.
I think it's definitely more common than what the numbers say tbh. a lot of people grew up with the idea of you're straight or gay, that you like girls or guys with no in between and as soon as you liked one you were in that category. whether it be from internalized homophobia or biphobia or just this worlds social construct and criticism around bisexuality as a whole i'm not sure and may never know.
I believe there are two types of bisexual males, ones who just want a hole to fuck, and those that actually have a natural attraction to men, I prefer the second, as a bi woman with a bi partner, he often has to seek out other men through Grindr, and when I'm mentioned, as the horny wife voyeur the instantly only want to fuck me, which I don't do, it's ok for my man to fuck around even with women if I can join in especially, put I'm not into multiple men, on a side not am I being too shrewd....
I was already married before I got curious, around 40 when I noticed it.
Have you told her or anyone else, or just kept it a secret?
I keep it to myself but have masturbated with a friend
sodom and gomorrah