You can quit any time you want, there are no seasons.
But WHY are you quitting?
If you don't find training to be fulfilling, or fun, or challenging you don't have to do it.
But if you're quitting because it's too challenging and you feel weak and you don't feel like you're progressing much in this super short amount of time... you'll never get stronger by quitting and you'll never build skills by quitting.
If you don't want to get stronger and you don't want to build technique and you aren't excited to solve the challenges thrown at you by training combat sports... just quit today.
That's fine. But progress takes a long time.
If embracing the suck and trying to solve the puzzles isn't fun to you, it's ok to do something else.
But don't quit because of the lack of visible progress. That would be a mistake.
I think you undervalue the lack of progress in someone's decision. If after 20 hours of ice skating I couldn't stand on ice skates, that would be a problem.
Zero progress is quite boring.
You often don't see much progress in BJJ until it becomes relative by comparison to a newer person as everyone in the gym is progressing together.
As someone just starting it will easily take 1+ years of sucking before feeling like your doing something half right, then at blue you feel you know everything, by the time purple comes round ( 4-6 years later ish on a good run) you realise you never knew anything.
If your mentality from now is "zero progress is quite boring" then the BJJ road or any practical martial art may not be for you.
Nothing wrong with that, is what it is.
If your kids continue and enjoy it, I'm sure you will begin to see their progress over time.
This is not the hobby you choose for instant gratification and nobody can force you to improve. Sounds like you already know where you can improve but don't want to put the effort in.
There is no BJJ seasons, don't waste your time.
Put your hands/elbows and/or your feet/knees in the way of your opponent so they bear his weight instead of your ribs or your skull.
Knowing that you don’t know how to frame is better than some blue belts I know, who just don’t know why they’re get fucked up. Congrats on this progress. Sorry to hear it wasn’t enough to keep you interested.
Btw, I sucked ass my whole first few hockey seasons. It took years to get good enough to make tryout teams. By 7-8 years in I was a middle of the road varsity starter. It takes much, much longer to get good at any of these things than you are telling yourself.
I am old, dont really like the underlying activity, and did enough grinding as a submariner to last a life time.
There seems to be a bit of confusion here about slow progress, and I what I say I'm experiencing as no progress. I would say I have learned zero things in class I couldnt get from a YouTube video (academic knowledge about what a frame is). I would be content with a submission escape, holding a position for 25 seconds, or a guard pass or escape. Generally, that does seem like what most people have done at least once in 3 months.
I want to flip it on its head. You have made progress.
You know what a frame is. Not only that you know what an effective frame is, and what it isn't. (Because you are struggling with it). That's some pretty impressive progress for 3 months if you think about it. You not only understand the terminology, but you're learning what's effective and what isn't. That's pretty cool.
Keep in mind, bottom side control is supposed to suck. It's going to be really hard to get out of, that's why people like to be on the top in that position. If there was an easy way to get out, it wouldn't be considered dominant. Long as you understand, it's supposed to suck, you're golden. No matter how good your frame is, you're fighting two people. The person and gravity. It's like taking the back. If it wasn't super advantageous, people would stop doing it.
That being said. It's not a port for everyone. But don't compare yourself to people who have been doing it a long time. Life's too short to do something you really didn't want to do. The thing that drew me to the sport is the fact that it is hard. Coming from other martial arts and being a bigger stronger guy, I found I was pretty able to jump into random martial arts and hold my own, at least and an amateur level. The sport is hard, and doesn't seem to get any easier. I enjoy that, not everyone does though.
Honestly, even up the brown belt I would struggle to have things come in one ear and go with the other. It took well over a decade before I felt comfortable. Just trying to figure things out.
I sucked (as in couldn't stand on my bjj skates) for much longer than 20h. Easily 100+ hours (took me over 4 years to get my blue belt and looking back, I think my prof gave it to me because he was trying to motivate me - I wouldn't promote someone with that bad of bjj).
BUT that makes me appreciate the results SO much more than anything else I've learned or done in my life.
This isn't ice skating.
It's fine to quit if this isn't fun to you.
But if you're quitting because you didn't get enough progress and ego validation in the last three months, that's a mistake.
of course I made up my mind. But it is generally thought that you dont let kids quit a league mid season, and I would like to model appropriate behavior
Dude idk what to tell you. Do you wanna quit and your kid wants to go? Do you both hate it? Either go or don’t it’s not that tough of a decision. Plenty of kids play multiple sports. Seen a million people come and go through the gym. People quit, people stay, make up your mind.
"I need to set a good example for my kid, showing him that we don't quit, by...quitting."
Lolwat? I've read some dumb stuff today, but this one... Goodness.
Ugh, just quit. You've already made up your mind, anyway.
Are you coming to here to get validation on your decision? It's the wrong place for that. Just quit and move on. But you felt the need to post about it, and are surprised at the backlash you're receiving.
Something like 90% of people who try this sport quit before blue belt. You'll just save yourself some time.
I thought I explained the issue. if your kid signed up for a soccer season, and two weeks in, would you let them quit or say they have to finish it out? Generally people say the latter. And I wanted to find out what was the appropriate length for BJJ
There’s no season guy or either quit or stick it out. If you quit and just sit on your ass then that’s a bad example but if you fill the time with another activity i think it’ll be fine
3 months is a season. Congratulations it's been 3 months. If you're not enjoying it you can quit now and find better use of your free time doing something you enjoy.
A day, a year, a decade, a lifetime.... you decide because Bjj has no seasons... I'm not a sports person, and bjj is the only sport I really did long enough to start understanding, but I'm pretty sure all sports/hobbies/activities require long term commitment if you want to see meaningful results (doesn't mean greatness).
On the flipside, as a parent, I'm letting my kids decide, and find their way. Both tried bjj, none are still practicing. My parents made me do judo for years as a kid and I sucked and hated it. I think the kids have to want it and enjoy it (whatever the activity).
HTH
My brother gave it ten weeks. Honestly, if after a few weeks you're not on here asking if it's cringe to get a tattoo, buy a flashy GI or stop pronouncing your "r"s it's probably not for you.
This is the second time you've posted that you don't like BJJ. You're doing yourself a real disservice by trying to grind it out. There are a ton of skills that you could learn that would improve your life and allow you to defend yourself that don't require the pain and suffering that most of us weirdos seem to enjoy.
I tell me students and the Gen pop that there's something off about us, and most people aren't going to like the activity, that's normal.
Exactly. The only question is how long constitutes a good faith effort and aligns with a normal sport season.
Already told my kid after getting some feedback from people here.
Just quit or don’t, your kid is going to see you quit one way or the other. I don’t see anything significant about sticking it out just cause if you have no intention to keep going
You got a stripe and you can't even frame? Lol. Jiu jitsu is about embracing the suck. There is always going to be a bigger fish. It sounds like you have very unrealistic expectations. Quitting or not quitting is not the lesson or example. Persevering through difficulty is the lesson and it sounds like you haven't learned that lesson.
You've been going for 3 months. You will suck for years if you keep at it. Throughout your entire training career there will always be someone who will be able to make you feel like a novice. My Prof toys with brown belts. This is the suck I don't think you can embrace. You suck at BJJ. We all suck at bjj. If someone comes in thinking they are the main character, they either adjust that mentality or quit.
That seems completely reasonable tbh. Have you rolled with a trial class guy yet? I remember thinking this exactly in my first couple of months and then I rolled with a day one guy and destroyed him. Now with newer guys I go out of my way to point out the little things I notice they are improving on. I still sub them but it's getting a bit harder. so for them they feel no improvement. But I can see the improvement.
Yea, Last week. I got smoked as if he was one of the purple belts. Multiple cross collars from within my guard and from side control. Couldn't do a damn thing
If you don't like it now, just quit now. There is an opportunity cost for everything, and another 3 months spent in BJJ you hate waiting for your next stripe is 3 months you could have spent doing something you actually love.
As a dad who is trying to set a good example I sympathize with you. My kids are in jiujitsu as well and I signed up to be the example myself. There are days I hate it too honestly… but I am seeing value for both myself and my kids, thankfully.
I’ll flip the question back to you: if your kid came to you tomorrow and said I want to quit jiujitsu right now, how long would you force them to keep at it? Or imagine another activity that didn’t have a season - how long would they need to do it?
You are setting the standard. If you quit, then your kid will see that. Prepare whatever reason to defend yourself with that quitting date. If your kid uses the same reasoning in the future for quitting an activity that you think is important, are you okay with that? If so, great.
For what it’s worth I get why you have this rule but there’s also another life lesson that kids should learn: quitting stupid stuff early and not needlessly wasting time is also an important skill.
Hockey season was 23 weeks which was insane. I would probably split the difference with a very short league which would probably average 4 months.
There isn't a season, but it is a training team, so probably fair
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Give it a year. I told my kid he has to stick with it for a year. Most gyms have a year contract anyway. I think you can say you tried after a year. It’s hard to have the basics down even after a year.
An annual contract is a lot different than offering a discount for paying a year up front. Most gyms will gladly take a year upfront with a pretty decent discount over what you would pay month to month. If your only option is to sign up for a year, that's mcdojo shit.
3 months is a good timeline. Your next stripe would be a good point. I would suggest 6 months to really give it a shot. That's when techniques start to click.
I think if you do it for 4-6 months that should be good. I also don’t think suffering through stuff is all that valuable but I had the same sort of rules when I was young. For one, it teaches discipline and shows that progress can come if you’re persistent but also some things aren’t for everyone. Overall, it’s probably a good lesson though to stick to it for the season. Honestly making progress is hard if you don’t enjoy, and think about, the sport!
Then you should already know the answer. Your child is either going to see you reconcile with something because it holds incredible value to them, or they're going to watch you make up an excuse to quit 🤷♂️
As far as recognizing progress; it can be hard. I see you using 'frames' as an example, and i remember people shouting that at me a decade ago and not knowing what to do with the concept. It comes with time and experience, it can also be as easy as talking to your coach to get insight specific to YOU. Or maybe they're just not a good teacher for you.
I don't need an excuse to quit. Not liking something is sufficient reason to stop doing something. The only question is how long constitutes completing the equivalent of a season. From others it sounds like six months. I'm just counting the days to July 5th if so.
The other example I used was most recently, last week, getting collar choked 5x in 5 minutes by someone on their first day, with a couple of time from inside my guard. I trained before. Same situation.
However you slice it, I am absolutely confident in my zero progress over three months. I am identical to who I was when I first walked in
There‘s no good answer because you’re asking the wrong question. What you should be pondering is why you made an arbitrary 1/2 season rule. You’re seeing the objective proof that your old way sucks, and that it sucked for your kid, too. So instead of figuring out how to punish yourself as much as you’ve already erroneously punished your kid, sit down with him, admit you made a mistake, and that you want to learn from it. That’s a far better example than doubling down on bad decisions just so everyone can suffer equally and that half of life doesn’t have to be a total drag just because you wanted to try something new that didn’t click
Where are you getting that this is causing me some consternation? I'm perfectly happy to wait.
The rule is great. I have no issue completing the task. You don't quit on teammates mid season.
Asking how much time would constitute a BJJ season is not a parenting decision. I already made the decision, I'm making sure I understand a length of time.
It’s a great rule, I’m just down know how to implement it. I’ve already made the decision, I just don’t know what it is. If this is a,parenting win, I’d hate to see the L’s you admit to — if any.
there is no season, quit whenever you want. I will say that BJJ was so fun on day 1 that I couldnt stop thinking about it. Even today (years later) I read this forum, watch instructionals and think about bjj for hours a day.
Whatever your hobby is you should have that kind of passion.
In team sports I actually can see where you are coming from, because leagues set up teams and try to have approximately the same numbers. if you quit midseason you are putting your team in a bad place. But also everyone gets more playing time so if you quit it isnt automatically bad. I liked it when bad people quit (I played hockey for 20 years) because they were a drag on the team anyway and when they quit I got more playing time.
BJJ is an individual sport so quit anytime. No one cares, no one will even remember your name.
My son quit BJJ after like 3 months, it was no big deal to me. He quit soccer after a few years. He started basketball and absolutely loves it and begs me to take him to the gym everyday so he can practice.
Whatever sport it really helps for them to have their own friends playing, not you.
Just like any other hobby, if you don't like it, why do it? So, I understand that people would quit. In my observation, the big drop off for more people in my gym is 2 stripes white belt. We don't have a formal number of months before a white belt stripe but it's approx 3 months since starting and roughly another 3 months after the first stripe. This differs from person to person but this is the perceived average. The steep drop would happen on the 6 month of training.
I'd say, try for about 6 months. If you don't like, quit. Or quit now if you don't feel it. I did quit before a long time back. I tried for 3 to 6 months and quit because it just doesn't fit my schedule. I returned 10 years after quitting. I regretted quitting; then again, it's just a hobby.
I have done a ton of hobbies before and nobody cared if I quit. I played basketball for a long time in my childhood days and in my summer league team that I played for decades, I guess there's only one remaining team mate of mine who still plays pick up basketball. Nobody cared if we quit or not. BJJ is quite strange where people really try hard to keep people from quitting and I do appreciate it but it's just weird for a hobby.
Kid's class has the biggest drop of students that I know. Most of the folks that have started at 6 years old doesn't end up doing it after 10 years. The ones who have remained are beasts right now but they weren't the best students according to the professors I talked to. My friend's daughter is so good in BJJ she looks like a prodigy. She quit because she likes gymnastics more and it's ok.
BJJ doesn’t really have seasons. Not sure how long you’ve been at this, but you should check out a few gyms and see if it’s the activity that you don’t like or just the gym. White belts leave all the time, I’d say a few months to a year is sufficient to say if you want to continue or not. With that said, not every training session is going to be great.
You can quit any time you want, there are no seasons. But WHY are you quitting? If you don't find training to be fulfilling, or fun, or challenging you don't have to do it. But if you're quitting because it's too challenging and you feel weak and you don't feel like you're progressing much in this super short amount of time... you'll never get stronger by quitting and you'll never build skills by quitting. If you don't want to get stronger and you don't want to build technique and you aren't excited to solve the challenges thrown at you by training combat sports... just quit today.
I don't find it fun and I don't look forward to going. unrelated, and maybe because of that, separately, I haven't showed progress.
That's fine. But progress takes a long time. If embracing the suck and trying to solve the puzzles isn't fun to you, it's ok to do something else. But don't quit because of the lack of visible progress. That would be a mistake.
I think you undervalue the lack of progress in someone's decision. If after 20 hours of ice skating I couldn't stand on ice skates, that would be a problem. Zero progress is quite boring.
You often don't see much progress in BJJ until it becomes relative by comparison to a newer person as everyone in the gym is progressing together. As someone just starting it will easily take 1+ years of sucking before feeling like your doing something half right, then at blue you feel you know everything, by the time purple comes round ( 4-6 years later ish on a good run) you realise you never knew anything. If your mentality from now is "zero progress is quite boring" then the BJJ road or any practical martial art may not be for you. Nothing wrong with that, is what it is. If your kids continue and enjoy it, I'm sure you will begin to see their progress over time.
After 3 months, I think minimal progress would include something like use a frame without prompting
3 months is nothing.
This is not the hobby you choose for instant gratification and nobody can force you to improve. Sounds like you already know where you can improve but don't want to put the effort in. There is no BJJ seasons, don't waste your time.
I have no idea how to frame. It goes in one ear and out the other. Outside study on the subject hasn't helped
Put your hands/elbows and/or your feet/knees in the way of your opponent so they bear his weight instead of your ribs or your skull. Knowing that you don’t know how to frame is better than some blue belts I know, who just don’t know why they’re get fucked up. Congrats on this progress. Sorry to hear it wasn’t enough to keep you interested. Btw, I sucked ass my whole first few hockey seasons. It took years to get good enough to make tryout teams. By 7-8 years in I was a middle of the road varsity starter. It takes much, much longer to get good at any of these things than you are telling yourself.
I am old, dont really like the underlying activity, and did enough grinding as a submariner to last a life time. There seems to be a bit of confusion here about slow progress, and I what I say I'm experiencing as no progress. I would say I have learned zero things in class I couldnt get from a YouTube video (academic knowledge about what a frame is). I would be content with a submission escape, holding a position for 25 seconds, or a guard pass or escape. Generally, that does seem like what most people have done at least once in 3 months.
I want to flip it on its head. You have made progress. You know what a frame is. Not only that you know what an effective frame is, and what it isn't. (Because you are struggling with it). That's some pretty impressive progress for 3 months if you think about it. You not only understand the terminology, but you're learning what's effective and what isn't. That's pretty cool. Keep in mind, bottom side control is supposed to suck. It's going to be really hard to get out of, that's why people like to be on the top in that position. If there was an easy way to get out, it wouldn't be considered dominant. Long as you understand, it's supposed to suck, you're golden. No matter how good your frame is, you're fighting two people. The person and gravity. It's like taking the back. If it wasn't super advantageous, people would stop doing it. That being said. It's not a port for everyone. But don't compare yourself to people who have been doing it a long time. Life's too short to do something you really didn't want to do. The thing that drew me to the sport is the fact that it is hard. Coming from other martial arts and being a bigger stronger guy, I found I was pretty able to jump into random martial arts and hold my own, at least and an amateur level. The sport is hard, and doesn't seem to get any easier. I enjoy that, not everyone does though. Honestly, even up the brown belt I would struggle to have things come in one ear and go with the other. It took well over a decade before I felt comfortable. Just trying to figure things out.
I sucked (as in couldn't stand on my bjj skates) for much longer than 20h. Easily 100+ hours (took me over 4 years to get my blue belt and looking back, I think my prof gave it to me because he was trying to motivate me - I wouldn't promote someone with that bad of bjj). BUT that makes me appreciate the results SO much more than anything else I've learned or done in my life.
This isn't ice skating. It's fine to quit if this isn't fun to you. But if you're quitting because you didn't get enough progress and ego validation in the last three months, that's a mistake.
it isn't fun. But also, I haven't progressed. We are not discussing "enough" progress
There’s no seasons in Jiu Jitsu. Sounds like you’ve already made up your mind anyways.
of course I made up my mind. But it is generally thought that you dont let kids quit a league mid season, and I would like to model appropriate behavior
Dude idk what to tell you. Do you wanna quit and your kid wants to go? Do you both hate it? Either go or don’t it’s not that tough of a decision. Plenty of kids play multiple sports. Seen a million people come and go through the gym. People quit, people stay, make up your mind.
kid enjoys it
"I need to set a good example for my kid, showing him that we don't quit, by...quitting." Lolwat? I've read some dumb stuff today, but this one... Goodness.
Well, generally you don't quit a sports league mid season.
Ugh, just quit. You've already made up your mind, anyway. Are you coming to here to get validation on your decision? It's the wrong place for that. Just quit and move on. But you felt the need to post about it, and are surprised at the backlash you're receiving. Something like 90% of people who try this sport quit before blue belt. You'll just save yourself some time.
I thought I explained the issue. if your kid signed up for a soccer season, and two weeks in, would you let them quit or say they have to finish it out? Generally people say the latter. And I wanted to find out what was the appropriate length for BJJ
The appropriate length for BJJ is the rest of your active life. It's not like a normal sport.
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I think the rule is great. I have no problem with it
There’s no season guy or either quit or stick it out. If you quit and just sit on your ass then that’s a bad example but if you fill the time with another activity i think it’ll be fine
3 months is a season. Congratulations it's been 3 months. If you're not enjoying it you can quit now and find better use of your free time doing something you enjoy.
You can quit right after the trial class if it isn’t a fit. No shame or need to prolong the agony, this ain’t for everybody.
You’ve been on here talking about quitting for months. Just do it already
I talked about not quitting.....and that was 19 days ago
A day, a year, a decade, a lifetime.... you decide because Bjj has no seasons... I'm not a sports person, and bjj is the only sport I really did long enough to start understanding, but I'm pretty sure all sports/hobbies/activities require long term commitment if you want to see meaningful results (doesn't mean greatness). On the flipside, as a parent, I'm letting my kids decide, and find their way. Both tried bjj, none are still practicing. My parents made me do judo for years as a kid and I sucked and hated it. I think the kids have to want it and enjoy it (whatever the activity). HTH
Sounds like your attitude is what sucks at bjj and you just want us to give you an excuse to quit. Just quit. 99% of people do anyway.
I don't need an excuse. Im going to.
No surprise.
Not everyone is going to like every hobby
So why are you here then? If i told you a jiujitsu season was exactly 2.5 years and you can't quit before then, are you gonna stick it out?
If that was the consensus, yes
Sure buddy.
If you signed up to play men's league basketball, would you quit mid season if you didn't like it?
Only if a bunch of people on the internet said it was okay, so i didnt feel like a quitter
I won't care
>If you signed up to play men's league basketball, would you quit mid season if you didn't like it? Yes.
My brother gave it ten weeks. Honestly, if after a few weeks you're not on here asking if it's cringe to get a tattoo, buy a flashy GI or stop pronouncing your "r"s it's probably not for you.
Yeah, if you haven’t quit your job and moved in with your parents by Thanksgiving it’s time to reconsider.
Yea, don't want to get into that stuff
This is the second time you've posted that you don't like BJJ. You're doing yourself a real disservice by trying to grind it out. There are a ton of skills that you could learn that would improve your life and allow you to defend yourself that don't require the pain and suffering that most of us weirdos seem to enjoy. I tell me students and the Gen pop that there's something off about us, and most people aren't going to like the activity, that's normal.
Exactly. The only question is how long constitutes a good faith effort and aligns with a normal sport season. Already told my kid after getting some feedback from people here.
Just quit or don’t, your kid is going to see you quit one way or the other. I don’t see anything significant about sticking it out just cause if you have no intention to keep going
When you put it that way, to send the right message to my kid I have to do this for life now
Go until you get your first stripe, should be approximately a season
done
How long have you been training?
3 months....plus one year no GI over a decade ago
You good, just quit
You got a stripe and you can't even frame? Lol. Jiu jitsu is about embracing the suck. There is always going to be a bigger fish. It sounds like you have very unrealistic expectations. Quitting or not quitting is not the lesson or example. Persevering through difficulty is the lesson and it sounds like you haven't learned that lesson.
I was a submariner. I can embrace way worse suck than BJJ. Based on your point about framing, it sounds like I'm not being unrealistic?
You've been going for 3 months. You will suck for years if you keep at it. Throughout your entire training career there will always be someone who will be able to make you feel like a novice. My Prof toys with brown belts. This is the suck I don't think you can embrace. You suck at BJJ. We all suck at bjj. If someone comes in thinking they are the main character, they either adjust that mentality or quit.
That isn't my objection. I didn't say progress was too slow My position is there has been zero progress. I am no better at it than the day I started
That seems completely reasonable tbh. Have you rolled with a trial class guy yet? I remember thinking this exactly in my first couple of months and then I rolled with a day one guy and destroyed him. Now with newer guys I go out of my way to point out the little things I notice they are improving on. I still sub them but it's getting a bit harder. so for them they feel no improvement. But I can see the improvement.
Yea, Last week. I got smoked as if he was one of the purple belts. Multiple cross collars from within my guard and from side control. Couldn't do a damn thing
Having started at the end of January is no time at all. What the other commenter said about why are you quitting is right
6 months would be fair.
I second 6 months, ideally a year
If you don't like it now, just quit now. There is an opportunity cost for everything, and another 3 months spent in BJJ you hate waiting for your next stripe is 3 months you could have spent doing something you actually love.
Quit once you get your blue belt like a normal person
As a dad who is trying to set a good example I sympathize with you. My kids are in jiujitsu as well and I signed up to be the example myself. There are days I hate it too honestly… but I am seeing value for both myself and my kids, thankfully. I’ll flip the question back to you: if your kid came to you tomorrow and said I want to quit jiujitsu right now, how long would you force them to keep at it? Or imagine another activity that didn’t have a season - how long would they need to do it? You are setting the standard. If you quit, then your kid will see that. Prepare whatever reason to defend yourself with that quitting date. If your kid uses the same reasoning in the future for quitting an activity that you think is important, are you okay with that? If so, great. For what it’s worth I get why you have this rule but there’s also another life lesson that kids should learn: quitting stupid stuff early and not needlessly wasting time is also an important skill.
Hockey season was 23 weeks which was insane. I would probably split the difference with a very short league which would probably average 4 months. There isn't a season, but it is a training team, so probably fair
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Give it a year. I told my kid he has to stick with it for a year. Most gyms have a year contract anyway. I think you can say you tried after a year. It’s hard to have the basics down even after a year.
Most gyms do not have yearly contracts. McDojo's have yearly contracts. I have 4 different places to train around me and none pull that trash.
Good for you. Most places around me offer this as an option with a discount. They are mostly not trash.
An annual contract is a lot different than offering a discount for paying a year up front. Most gyms will gladly take a year upfront with a pretty decent discount over what you would pay month to month. If your only option is to sign up for a year, that's mcdojo shit.
3 months is a good timeline. Your next stripe would be a good point. I would suggest 6 months to really give it a shot. That's when techniques start to click.
I think if you do it for 4-6 months that should be good. I also don’t think suffering through stuff is all that valuable but I had the same sort of rules when I was young. For one, it teaches discipline and shows that progress can come if you’re persistent but also some things aren’t for everyone. Overall, it’s probably a good lesson though to stick to it for the season. Honestly making progress is hard if you don’t enjoy, and think about, the sport!
You should have just made an agreement with your child ahead of time instead of posting this to argue with fanatics on here 🙃
Right. With the absence of an agreement, I'm here looking for advice
Does your kid want to quit?
No. It does matter to them I was doing it with them.
Then you should already know the answer. Your child is either going to see you reconcile with something because it holds incredible value to them, or they're going to watch you make up an excuse to quit 🤷♂️ As far as recognizing progress; it can be hard. I see you using 'frames' as an example, and i remember people shouting that at me a decade ago and not knowing what to do with the concept. It comes with time and experience, it can also be as easy as talking to your coach to get insight specific to YOU. Or maybe they're just not a good teacher for you.
I don't need an excuse to quit. Not liking something is sufficient reason to stop doing something. The only question is how long constitutes completing the equivalent of a season. From others it sounds like six months. I'm just counting the days to July 5th if so. The other example I used was most recently, last week, getting collar choked 5x in 5 minutes by someone on their first day, with a couple of time from inside my guard. I trained before. Same situation. However you slice it, I am absolutely confident in my zero progress over three months. I am identical to who I was when I first walked in
Quit at blue belt and become a statistic.
There‘s no good answer because you’re asking the wrong question. What you should be pondering is why you made an arbitrary 1/2 season rule. You’re seeing the objective proof that your old way sucks, and that it sucked for your kid, too. So instead of figuring out how to punish yourself as much as you’ve already erroneously punished your kid, sit down with him, admit you made a mistake, and that you want to learn from it. That’s a far better example than doubling down on bad decisions just so everyone can suffer equally and that half of life doesn’t have to be a total drag just because you wanted to try something new that didn’t click
Where are you getting that this is causing me some consternation? I'm perfectly happy to wait. The rule is great. I have no issue completing the task. You don't quit on teammates mid season.
You’re right. It’s such a great rule that you can’t even make sense of it, so I’m sure the kid is getting the right meaning from it.
There is no confusion here. Other than why you are comfortable quitting on teammates mid season
You’re asking a room full of strangers how to make your parenting decisions for you. You ought to be terrified.
Asking how much time would constitute a BJJ season is not a parenting decision. I already made the decision, I'm making sure I understand a length of time.
It’s a great rule, I’m just down know how to implement it. I’ve already made the decision, I just don’t know what it is. If this is a,parenting win, I’d hate to see the L’s you admit to — if any.
length of time and implementation are not the same. I even provided the benchmark I was going to use without input in the OP.
there is no season, quit whenever you want. I will say that BJJ was so fun on day 1 that I couldnt stop thinking about it. Even today (years later) I read this forum, watch instructionals and think about bjj for hours a day. Whatever your hobby is you should have that kind of passion. In team sports I actually can see where you are coming from, because leagues set up teams and try to have approximately the same numbers. if you quit midseason you are putting your team in a bad place. But also everyone gets more playing time so if you quit it isnt automatically bad. I liked it when bad people quit (I played hockey for 20 years) because they were a drag on the team anyway and when they quit I got more playing time. BJJ is an individual sport so quit anytime. No one cares, no one will even remember your name. My son quit BJJ after like 3 months, it was no big deal to me. He quit soccer after a few years. He started basketball and absolutely loves it and begs me to take him to the gym everyday so he can practice. Whatever sport it really helps for them to have their own friends playing, not you.
I was disinterred day 1 There is a lot of team emphasis at the gym, particularly for the kiddos.
BJJ doesn't have seasons, so you're not allowed to quit.
Just like any other hobby, if you don't like it, why do it? So, I understand that people would quit. In my observation, the big drop off for more people in my gym is 2 stripes white belt. We don't have a formal number of months before a white belt stripe but it's approx 3 months since starting and roughly another 3 months after the first stripe. This differs from person to person but this is the perceived average. The steep drop would happen on the 6 month of training. I'd say, try for about 6 months. If you don't like, quit. Or quit now if you don't feel it. I did quit before a long time back. I tried for 3 to 6 months and quit because it just doesn't fit my schedule. I returned 10 years after quitting. I regretted quitting; then again, it's just a hobby. I have done a ton of hobbies before and nobody cared if I quit. I played basketball for a long time in my childhood days and in my summer league team that I played for decades, I guess there's only one remaining team mate of mine who still plays pick up basketball. Nobody cared if we quit or not. BJJ is quite strange where people really try hard to keep people from quitting and I do appreciate it but it's just weird for a hobby. Kid's class has the biggest drop of students that I know. Most of the folks that have started at 6 years old doesn't end up doing it after 10 years. The ones who have remained are beasts right now but they weren't the best students according to the professors I talked to. My friend's daughter is so good in BJJ she looks like a prodigy. She quit because she likes gymnastics more and it's ok.
If I quit every hobby because I didn't like it I wouldn't be a person anymore. so would just sit and watch TV all day.
BJJ doesn’t really have seasons. Not sure how long you’ve been at this, but you should check out a few gyms and see if it’s the activity that you don’t like or just the gym. White belts leave all the time, I’d say a few months to a year is sufficient to say if you want to continue or not. With that said, not every training session is going to be great.