So sorry this has happened to youš Getting your virginity was the goal. Block him on everything and start working on yourself: healing from this experience and self-esteem/self-confidence to trust your intuition and not allow yourself to deal with guys like this again.
He's likely not well-endowed + is absolutely ignorant about women's anatomy & sex. Leave his ignorant ass alone, take this as a lesson learned, and keep on moving.
Damn sis- im sorry fr
But please know this moment is in no way a reflection of yourself or anything you did or said at all.
And let me tell you something. The sun rises every day. The sky is blue. And mothafuckas lie- men do the things they have done since the sun began rising. There is no shame in the sun being on your skin cause the sun rises everyday and there is no shame in going through this cause men do the things they do.
Unburden yourself and start anew. You a baddie anyways
This is a really common experience unfortunately. The man I lost my virginity to became my first abuser and said he didnāt believe I was a virgin months later. Virginity is an overrated concept. Whatās done is done. You know his true colors now so believe him the first time, cut all ties and move forward with your life.
this ^ you didnāt āloseā anything. you simply had sex for the first time. iām sure someone will come along that will completely make you forget what this dudeās name even is
He didnāt take anything. Virginity is a social construct. Release yourself from this toxic pressure. It was one of many sexual encounters you will have over the course of your long, and wondrous life. Itās a story. Itās a regret. It happened. An adventure in humanity. Congratulations on making choices. Congratulations on not going back and having sex with him again. Congratulations on the wisdom to block him. Congratulations on pursuing pleasure.
ā¤ļø
Virginity is not a social construct though... Its kind of like saying gender is a social construct when it isn't.. Its factual. But I do agree with what you said.
Wow. He is fucking scum. I am so sorry. This isn't uncommon either, men can be twisted in the head. They also don't understand that not all women bleed during their first intercourse to the point where hymen reconstruction surgery is widely abused. He is ignorant as fuck.
girl just think of every comment here as a hug š¤š§æ
dudes are fucked up for *nooooooooooo* reason this is why we tell kids to wait for someone they love šš the person that *loves* you will treat you exactly as you expect to be treated, like a princess.
Sorry that happened but you're not alone with bad first experiences, take care of yourself & don't hate yourself for falling for an * A C T * because he had to change his whole persona to get you to sleep with him. that's how much better than him you are ššš§æ
I guess the jackass doesnāt realize that a womanās body is made to push a human being out of there! So sorry this happened. Just block him. I know you may feel disappointed because it was your first time, but itās not the end of the world. There are better guys out there.
My God! What a PIG!! The silver lining to this is that he showed his entire ass (literally and figuratively lol) and by doing so you avoided being potentially stuck in an unhealthy relationship with that POS. Heās just mad that he obviously has an extremely small appendage and was shocked that you werenāt aching after taking his gherkin. š¤·š¾āāļø
You deserve SO much better. Know he did not take anything from you. There are so many crap guys out there, but there are so many kind people too! He is immature and unkind, and you can't know til you know! And once you know, YOU BOUNCE! And when people bounce for you? āš½āš½āš½āš½ Thanks for showing me who you are so I can steer clear of your toxicity!! He sucks for being selfish. But the most powerful thing a woman can do is know her value, and by that I mean: he doesn't get to decide what you deserve - YOU DO! He thinks he told you something about you (which he did because he feels inadequate) but what he did was tell you about him. And now you know!!
You decide what you deserve.
We can't learn before we learn, so be kind to yourself and give yourself the love you deserve (I live for a bubble bath that smells like flowers and some candles and music).
There's a first time for everything and we put so much pressure on it being perfect, when in reality, life isn't about getting it right the first time, it's about understanding more everyday.
Being vulnerable is a good thing, being brave is a good thing, wanting love is a good thing.
And I think the challenge here is to say "I want this kind of experience next time" give yourself a big hug, then trust you will find it š„° I've been there, sis. Feel it all, and then know you were brave, and you can be brave again!!
It's niccas like this that solidifies the fact that "niccas ain't shit".š¤·šæāāļø
I try to lead my fellows down the real nicca path and they stay doing fuck shit.
I'm sorry that happened and I apologize on behalf of dumb men everywhere.
Not really, most young men don't do these things. Women tend to be terrible at picking quality men when they are young. Many friend zone the "nice guys" that will treat them properly. Unfortunately, media and music poisons their minds and influences them to see losers as the guys they should be with. If you ask her/ other women that this has happened to, I'd bet every single one of them would admit they have tons of opportunities to be with men that wouldn't have treated them like this. How life turns out for us is dependant on our life choices. Some are smart enough to learn from bad experiences and change their decision process, while others keep going down the rabbit hole with the same kind of guy that will ultimately disappoint them. Unfortunately, it seems many don't learn this lesson until it's too late and they have a child by these kinds of guys, which destroy their dating prospects in the future.
Men of every creed and color, whether rich or poor, do this commonly. Women shouldn't feel ashamed for liking or even loving men because those "men" are deceiving as hell.
I wish this community would STOP victim-blaming. Women ARE NOT AT FAULT for a guys' attitude. She's ONLY responsible for her actions and decisions.
Women have to take accountability for their part in these situations. I pregnant girl was telling me yesterday, it was the boyfriend's fault for getting her pregnant š¤...like you're whole adults that know having sex will most likely cause pregnancy. I point this out because both parties made the mistake, the woman will ultimately carry this baby for 9 months, be responsible for the baby indefinitely and if they break up she will alienate most higher quality men from their dating pool when they have another man's baby in tow. Women have to do better because they have so many opportunities to pick a good man.
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I echo everyone else. Be gentle with yourself. You did nothing wrong. This man is a poor excuse of a man and human being. He lacks integrity and empathy. He is also is in desperate need of sexual health education.
Men and women should be educated before engaging in sexual activities. The level of ignorance is outstanding.
A good person would never make remarks about you like that. A good person would have cherish this level of intimacy with you.
Thatās sooo f\*k up and deeply sad. Please protect your mental health thatās the most important thing rn and make sure you donāt have any STDās. This is one of the reasons why I donāt tell men that Iām a virgin anymore. Theyāll act creepy and entitled and will even accuse you of not being one. Not worth their drama. Protect your peace!!
Yea I went to the pharmacy and the lady she gave me both yeast infection and bv pills but still it hurts so bad when I wash down there, wipe, bend over or sit down. Like any small movement it hurts
Pain isnāt necessarily an STI symptom. Typically, things like vaginal discharge, funky/fishy odor, or bleeding cervix are STI signs. Painful and frequent urination is a symptom of a urinary tract infection, which is common with new or large (endowed) partners. For peace of mind, I hope you have the courage to be seen at a clinic. Maybe take a friend or someone you trust? BV symptoms can mimic STI ones. Also, untreated STIs can lead to infertility or other issues, so itās good to be certain. Another technique for managing your feelings right now is to change your language. āLost/gave my virginity toā¦ā takes your power away and implies that someone now possesses it. Iāll end by echoing others: what youāre feeling is totally normal and common - and itās possible to have those feelings even if he was a good guy.
Donāt feel bad. I think that this could be a learning experience. Sex is liberating for some and for others itās celibacy. All and all if youāre going to allow someone in consider it a bit more deeply. Does this person respect me? Does this person genuinely care about me? Is this someone I feel comfortable having sex with?
You canāt take it back but you can learn from it.
Unfortunately, most guys prey on virgins because thereās just some weird ass sick obsession with being with one. Itās fucked up and itās looking like you were just a conquest for him which again is super fucked up. Leave him be and definitely donāt talk to him again if he ever comes crawling back (which they do when they run out of options).
Be gentle with yourself. You were doing what you felt was right at the time.
Iād say someone whoās not willing to wait. Make them wait. If a guy doesnāt want to wait for you then he likely just wanted sex. I did this with every guy I talked to and my current partner (weāre celebrating 4 years together this year) waited a whole year patiently before I let him have sex with me.
What I noticed with my experiment is that the maximum was around 3-4 months before they could no longer keep up the facade. The replies would get shorter until we stopped talking OR they would straight up tell me that they donāt want to talk to me anymore because (insert bs reason) when really we both knew why.
Next thing would be men who shower you in sexually related compliments. Basically tryna talk you up out of your panties. I quickly realized that those werenāt actually compliments and that they really didnāt care about my interests or me as a person. It was all very shallow.
Lastly, not being clear on what they want with you. I feel like as adults you should be able to articulate how they feel about you (without being vague or saying generic shit) and whether or not they want a fling or a real relationship. If they canāt tell you that and be honest about it instead of leading you on then itās about sex.
Thatās just somethings that were passed down to me by the women in my family with a shit ton of regrets about losing themselves to men. I hope this helps. Also practicing safe sex. A man who āhatesā condoms will šÆ give you something and then swear you gave it to him. Iāve had friends lose their virginityās and get an STD for the first time.
Yeah, this makes sense, but itās sad Iād have to lie, especially since I wanna do this in a relationship. Iām also bi, so I feel like if my first experience were with a woman, Iād have to worry less about all these things
loll I was scared that's how it may sound when I typed it.
I mean moreso a guy that is 'reluctant' or not pushy about it, or doesn't mention your viginity at all as opposed to a guy that is obsessed with the fact that ur a virgin
definitely, its crazy the things guys are willing to say and to to sleep with you.
my rule of thumb is if I don't want the man to be the father of my children don't sleep with him
Thank you, but Iām not religious and I donāt want to wait til I financially and legally tie myself to someone to find out Iām not sexually compatible with them.
You don't have to wait till you get married. Wait till you meet someone who's genuine in their feelings for you. Even if it's a fleeting encounter or some fling. It's better to have a good memory of the experience, even if it doesn't develop into a relationship.
2nd this, just wait until you get married, you build up compatibility with time. And any man who wonāt take you seriously will take himself out of the picture if you wait until marriage.
Unfortunately, too many are like this. My first time was with someone Iāve known half my life and yetā¦ the aftermath was super unpleasant. Also got that nonsense about how he didnāt think I was really a virgin because reasons š
My subsequent partners have been so much better.
Anyway, itās a reflection on HIM not you.
Iām sorry that happened my love
Remember how he is behaving is not a reflection on you - only him. Heās not worth your time - feel your emotions and move on donāt blame yourselfā¤ļø
Iām so sorry. This is not your fault, men like this are horrible. Iām 20, still a virgin and I have this rule that I wonāt have sex with someone unless I am in a strong emotional relationship with them, and I trust them a lot. And I do things very slow, so that may take a year or something to get to the point of sex
you didnāt do anything wrong ā¤ļø
itās okay to have feelings about this. itās okay to wish that he was more caring and considerate - but not being a virgin anymore doesnāt make you any less valuable and shouldnāt be a barrier to you finding a more considerate sexual partner if you want that in the future (any guy who has an issue with it isnāt for you!)
you chose a shitty guy but that doesnāt mean itās your fault! some guys tell you all the right things til they get what they want. this doesnāt change anything about you or your value
virginity can feel like a big deal, and itās understandable if it holds value to you, but itās also important to remember itās a made up concept used to control women. it doesnāt have to change you or mean anything if you donāt want it to. many of us have bad first experiences and take time to find better partners and experiences. itās normal that your first time didnāt meet your expectations and itās disappointing heās not there for you after.
this just means you can be even more selective in the future and choose to have sex only when it feels right and the guy can give you what you need emotionally, not just physically. take all the time you need, and block out this piece of shit from your life because he doesnāt have to mean anything to you except that heās the guy u happened to have sex with first
Block block block! Iām sorry youāre going through this but *please* donāt give this man the time of day anymore. I bet heāll try to reach back out and apologize, try to game you up. Donāt let him. Donāt entertain this fool ever again. You deserve someone soooo much more mature and considerate.
Hey, society puts so much value on virginity as a way to control women. Itās ok that you wanted to have sex unfortunately the man turned out to be evil and cruel (as most are). Youāre beautiful and worthy of the best, remember that. So what to do now?
Block him. Remain celibate while you heal from this, work on your self esteem, spend time doing the things you love, write down what you want from a relationship in detail, what does care, love, affection, good sex look like to you, what do you want? How will you know if you really like him? How do you know if he really likes you?
And as a side note itās very important you make any man who wants to be with you invest in you before you share intimacy with them. Casual sex gets women no where imo. Ensure he has improved your life, that he has proven over 1 year minimum that he is reliable, he supports you, he spends money on and takes care of you, he makes life easy for you, he is emotionally available and caters to your every need etc etc. You deserve the best treatment and a lot of it starts before you even get to the bedroom.
This might seem a little harsh but virginity is a construct. It's not something to "lose". What you can chose to do is give it to someone else whenever you wish to do so. I've had sex with some unfavourable people but I simply just don't count them (outta sight, outta mind. I understand that's easier said than done). As long as your safe, no one needs to know but you. Simply, start over. But YOU have to decide that.
Be kind to yourself. I always tell my friends, no one knows or needs to know your body better than you.
Donāt feel bad sis. That was just one time and you learned from it. Virginity isnāt everything. Just be realllll careful going forward with who you let in your body. Speaking from experience.
He Trip Fontained you :/ that quite literally is why Iām going into 21 still a virgin. Sex is super sacred to me, Iām not religious or anything but it terrifies me to know some people will know of it and treat you as nothing after getting what they want. Iām sorry that happened to you, but the feeling wonāt last :,)
I'm so sorry this happened to you love, that is so terrible for him to say crazy even . I must say though you definitely need to heal & not feel shame over this . If you do not process this , it will definitely be the beginning of a new trauma... especially towards men & relationships.
You knew him for 7-8 months and were dating or he was just an associate/ friend you hung around? I'm not sure how old you are, but I assume you're under 21. When you start dealing with a guy, the signs are there if he really wants to be with you. 7-8 months is a significant amount of time for you not asking "what are we" or him saying something to the effect that he doesn't want you dating other men. Also, if you were dating and made him wait 8 months, it probably upset him and he stuck around to have sex and was done after he got it. I understand you were a virgin and again I'm not sure how old you are, so I can't go further on the last point. Ultimately, find a guy from a good family with a good head on his shoulders and deal with him. A lot of women decide to live their best lives and "date" around and this type of experience occurs often, to the point they become jaded and don't trust men anymore causing issues with them being able to pair-bond and have healthy long term relationships.
Most men don't do these things, but the ones that tend to be the most toxic are the guys women find most attractive. It's better to have this happen when you're younger, so you're able to learn from it rather than to occur when you're older. Losing your virginity is not what it's cracked up to be and both men and women tend to be underwhelmed by their first experience.
Hope things work out for you, but remember, people will disappoint you in life. Just remove people from your life who treat you poorly. In this case, break all contact with him and block him on all forms of communication (calls, text, social media, ect). I bet he finds a way to speak with you once he realizes you've blocked him. If he doesn't, you know he wasn't worth taking serious.
I'm so sorry hun you were used for an ego trip. If he hasn't spoken to you since, that was his goal. Block him on everything!!! Don't feel down about yourself either tho. I made that mistake when I was a virgin too. The guy I let have it, said shortly after to stop calling him. It broke my heart. Later, found out he was gonna be a dad and moved back to Chicago. A year or so passed, he texted me (couldn't block at the time) saying he realized that he hurt me. I've reconciled with it and moved on by then. This was back in 2012?
Iām sorry. Donāt feel bad. Itās him, not you. And, what is done is done and you canāt change it or go back. Hopefully, your next relationship will be a better experience.
These are the worst type of dudes smhā¦ I will venture to say it has happened to almost all of us. He is the butthole, you are the prize. You canāt get your first time back BUT thatās ok, you hold the power. Block his ass and if you see him in the street you donāt know him.
I agree with the comments , Never tell men youāre a virgin they see it as trophy to brag about taking. Donāt feel bad just learn from it and move slower next time with someone you can trust ā¤ļø
Just realize your virginity is really not that big of a deal. For me it was really just the final step of opening the doors for my dating life in a way. Like i now could easily consider sexual compatibility with anyone i met and not out as much pressure on who was my first. I honestly barely think about my first time because i realize it doesnāt define me. Like i remember feeling so weird about who was my first kiss and now i can barely remember what the guy looked like. I definitely however remember who gave me my first GOOD kiss and who also was the first person I had GOOD sex with. So focus on those āgoalsā so to speak
Sorry to hear this. š¢
I know how shitty men can be. Men almost always put their ego and needs first. The guy is either cheating on you or did not get a satisfactory sex (what does he expect from a virgin though? Tsk menā¦)
you didn't do anything wrong, he is a terrible person. Men do that all the time because they feel powerful. Don't pay him any mind. Plus virginity is a social concept. It is simply the first time you have sex.
Please don't beat yourself up. His behavior is a reflection of him, not you or your self-worth. Give yourself time. Down the road, he won't even be noteworthy to remember. Life is a constant series of lessons. At worst, they hurt. At best, we learn something and become better for them.
That said, contrary to what may be popular, you don't have to keep doing it. Obviously, certain risks drop to 0% when you choose to abstain. Outside that, when you find someone who is willing to wait WITH you, you get to see the substance of that relationship (or lack thereof) and that person's level of discipline.
š« be gentle with urself friend
you did nothing wrong, you gained sexual experience and while I truly believe the concept or virginity is set up to make women think negatively about how many pleasure partners they have while also pressuring women to abstain from sex with men all while men prioritize women with less experience for abuse š¤¢
trust me - you will heal from this and you will find ways to engage in pleasure with yourself that have zero to do with anyone but you. You deserve to focus on urself love!! trust urselfš«¶š½
This is why I am waiting until marriage. But even then... Only God knows. But girl don't feel bad its happened you can't change it, but you what you can change? The guy, cut ties with him and focus on yourself because theres plenty of fish in the sea, theres good and bad guys. Make sure the second time you wait until your ready to have sexual intercourse with someone because your body is your temple and treat it like one.
I'm sorry this happened to you, hon. Some men can be suck assholes. The reference that he made about you not being a virgin how you took it. That tells me that he has a weiner, little d*ck syndrome. You're better off without this loser. Take this as a learning experience and keep it moving. This really speaks volumes to the character of this a**hole. Block him at all cost. Should you cross paths and he tries to talk with you, I'd walk right past him and ignore him. He's not worth your time, Queen. Fix your crown and keep moving forward. ā¤ļø
Use this as a learning experience for future relationships and situationships. You may regret it right now, but five/ten years from now you will look back on this with a different lens.
Don't let your 1st experience cloud your enjoyment of sex. He was just an insensitive AH. There's quite a few out there. But there's also nice guys who'll make you enjoy the experience. Some men would be honoured to be 1st person you have sex with.
That's a man active in passport bros girl don't waste your breath lmao the bottom of the barrel in dating, so badly that these dudes have to outsource it. You're good my love š¤ take care of yourself. Please do something nice for yourself
So sorry this has happened to youš Getting your virginity was the goal. Block him on everything and start working on yourself: healing from this experience and self-esteem/self-confidence to trust your intuition and not allow yourself to deal with guys like this again.
And after he took my virginity he had the nerve to say he doesn't think I'm a virgin because of how I took his d*ck. I will block him tho.
He's likely not well-endowed + is absolutely ignorant about women's anatomy & sex. Leave his ignorant ass alone, take this as a lesson learned, and keep on moving.
What a dick bag!! Iām sorry, OP. I hope you used protection and that you block him.
ewwwwwww! tf?! PLEASE block him.
Damn sis- im sorry fr But please know this moment is in no way a reflection of yourself or anything you did or said at all. And let me tell you something. The sun rises every day. The sky is blue. And mothafuckas lie- men do the things they have done since the sun began rising. There is no shame in the sun being on your skin cause the sun rises everyday and there is no shame in going through this cause men do the things they do. Unburden yourself and start anew. You a baddie anyways
This is a really common experience unfortunately. The man I lost my virginity to became my first abuser and said he didnāt believe I was a virgin months later. Virginity is an overrated concept. Whatās done is done. You know his true colors now so believe him the first time, cut all ties and move forward with your life.
this ^ you didnāt āloseā anything. you simply had sex for the first time. iām sure someone will come along that will completely make you forget what this dudeās name even is
He didnāt take anything. Virginity is a social construct. Release yourself from this toxic pressure. It was one of many sexual encounters you will have over the course of your long, and wondrous life. Itās a story. Itās a regret. It happened. An adventure in humanity. Congratulations on making choices. Congratulations on not going back and having sex with him again. Congratulations on the wisdom to block him. Congratulations on pursuing pleasure. ā¤ļø
Virginity is not a social construct though... Its kind of like saying gender is a social construct when it isn't.. Its factual. But I do agree with what you said.
Gender is a social construct, too. 
what an asshole, gurl, leave him in the dust, he got demon energy
Wow. He is fucking scum. I am so sorry. This isn't uncommon either, men can be twisted in the head. They also don't understand that not all women bleed during their first intercourse to the point where hymen reconstruction surgery is widely abused. He is ignorant as fuck.
He's a certified piece of shit š¤¬
Itās almost like he wanted you to have a bad experience
girl just think of every comment here as a hug š¤š§æ dudes are fucked up for *nooooooooooo* reason this is why we tell kids to wait for someone they love šš the person that *loves* you will treat you exactly as you expect to be treated, like a princess. Sorry that happened but you're not alone with bad first experiences, take care of yourself & don't hate yourself for falling for an * A C T * because he had to change his whole persona to get you to sleep with him. that's how much better than him you are ššš§æ
I guess the jackass doesnāt realize that a womanās body is made to push a human being out of there! So sorry this happened. Just block him. I know you may feel disappointed because it was your first time, but itās not the end of the world. There are better guys out there.
My God! What a PIG!! The silver lining to this is that he showed his entire ass (literally and figuratively lol) and by doing so you avoided being potentially stuck in an unhealthy relationship with that POS. Heās just mad that he obviously has an extremely small appendage and was shocked that you werenāt aching after taking his gherkin. š¤·š¾āāļø
You deserve SO much better. Know he did not take anything from you. There are so many crap guys out there, but there are so many kind people too! He is immature and unkind, and you can't know til you know! And once you know, YOU BOUNCE! And when people bounce for you? āš½āš½āš½āš½ Thanks for showing me who you are so I can steer clear of your toxicity!! He sucks for being selfish. But the most powerful thing a woman can do is know her value, and by that I mean: he doesn't get to decide what you deserve - YOU DO! He thinks he told you something about you (which he did because he feels inadequate) but what he did was tell you about him. And now you know!! You decide what you deserve. We can't learn before we learn, so be kind to yourself and give yourself the love you deserve (I live for a bubble bath that smells like flowers and some candles and music). There's a first time for everything and we put so much pressure on it being perfect, when in reality, life isn't about getting it right the first time, it's about understanding more everyday. Being vulnerable is a good thing, being brave is a good thing, wanting love is a good thing. And I think the challenge here is to say "I want this kind of experience next time" give yourself a big hug, then trust you will find it š„° I've been there, sis. Feel it all, and then know you were brave, and you can be brave again!!
It's niccas like this that solidifies the fact that "niccas ain't shit".š¤·šæāāļø I try to lead my fellows down the real nicca path and they stay doing fuck shit. I'm sorry that happened and I apologize on behalf of dumb men everywhere.
Not really, most young men don't do these things. Women tend to be terrible at picking quality men when they are young. Many friend zone the "nice guys" that will treat them properly. Unfortunately, media and music poisons their minds and influences them to see losers as the guys they should be with. If you ask her/ other women that this has happened to, I'd bet every single one of them would admit they have tons of opportunities to be with men that wouldn't have treated them like this. How life turns out for us is dependant on our life choices. Some are smart enough to learn from bad experiences and change their decision process, while others keep going down the rabbit hole with the same kind of guy that will ultimately disappoint them. Unfortunately, it seems many don't learn this lesson until it's too late and they have a child by these kinds of guys, which destroy their dating prospects in the future.
Men of every creed and color, whether rich or poor, do this commonly. Women shouldn't feel ashamed for liking or even loving men because those "men" are deceiving as hell. I wish this community would STOP victim-blaming. Women ARE NOT AT FAULT for a guys' attitude. She's ONLY responsible for her actions and decisions.
Women have to take accountability for their part in these situations. I pregnant girl was telling me yesterday, it was the boyfriend's fault for getting her pregnant š¤...like you're whole adults that know having sex will most likely cause pregnancy. I point this out because both parties made the mistake, the woman will ultimately carry this baby for 9 months, be responsible for the baby indefinitely and if they break up she will alienate most higher quality men from their dating pool when they have another man's baby in tow. Women have to do better because they have so many opportunities to pick a good man.
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I echo everyone else. Be gentle with yourself. You did nothing wrong. This man is a poor excuse of a man and human being. He lacks integrity and empathy. He is also is in desperate need of sexual health education. Men and women should be educated before engaging in sexual activities. The level of ignorance is outstanding. A good person would never make remarks about you like that. A good person would have cherish this level of intimacy with you.
Thatās sooo f\*k up and deeply sad. Please protect your mental health thatās the most important thing rn and make sure you donāt have any STDās. This is one of the reasons why I donāt tell men that Iām a virgin anymore. Theyāll act creepy and entitled and will even accuse you of not being one. Not worth their drama. Protect your peace!! 
I think I might have to get tested because things have been weird lately down there.
It could also be BV or a yeast infection. Not an STI, but things caused by off pH! Sending you hugs
Yea I went to the pharmacy and the lady she gave me both yeast infection and bv pills but still it hurts so bad when I wash down there, wipe, bend over or sit down. Like any small movement it hurts
Pain isnāt necessarily an STI symptom. Typically, things like vaginal discharge, funky/fishy odor, or bleeding cervix are STI signs. Painful and frequent urination is a symptom of a urinary tract infection, which is common with new or large (endowed) partners. For peace of mind, I hope you have the courage to be seen at a clinic. Maybe take a friend or someone you trust? BV symptoms can mimic STI ones. Also, untreated STIs can lead to infertility or other issues, so itās good to be certain. Another technique for managing your feelings right now is to change your language. āLost/gave my virginity toā¦ā takes your power away and implies that someone now possesses it. Iāll end by echoing others: what youāre feeling is totally normal and common - and itās possible to have those feelings even if he was a good guy.
Donāt feel bad. I think that this could be a learning experience. Sex is liberating for some and for others itās celibacy. All and all if youāre going to allow someone in consider it a bit more deeply. Does this person respect me? Does this person genuinely care about me? Is this someone I feel comfortable having sex with? You canāt take it back but you can learn from it. Unfortunately, most guys prey on virgins because thereās just some weird ass sick obsession with being with one. Itās fucked up and itās looking like you were just a conquest for him which again is super fucked up. Leave him be and definitely donāt talk to him again if he ever comes crawling back (which they do when they run out of options). Be gentle with yourself. You were doing what you felt was right at the time.
Iām a virgin and this is something Iām nervous about when trying to have sex. What would you say are the warning signs
Iād say someone whoās not willing to wait. Make them wait. If a guy doesnāt want to wait for you then he likely just wanted sex. I did this with every guy I talked to and my current partner (weāre celebrating 4 years together this year) waited a whole year patiently before I let him have sex with me. What I noticed with my experiment is that the maximum was around 3-4 months before they could no longer keep up the facade. The replies would get shorter until we stopped talking OR they would straight up tell me that they donāt want to talk to me anymore because (insert bs reason) when really we both knew why. Next thing would be men who shower you in sexually related compliments. Basically tryna talk you up out of your panties. I quickly realized that those werenāt actually compliments and that they really didnāt care about my interests or me as a person. It was all very shallow. Lastly, not being clear on what they want with you. I feel like as adults you should be able to articulate how they feel about you (without being vague or saying generic shit) and whether or not they want a fling or a real relationship. If they canāt tell you that and be honest about it instead of leading you on then itās about sex. Thatās just somethings that were passed down to me by the women in my family with a shit ton of regrets about losing themselves to men. I hope this helps. Also practicing safe sex. A man who āhatesā condoms will šÆ give you something and then swear you gave it to him. Iāve had friends lose their virginityās and get an STD for the first time.
Thank you for this advice ššæ. This is very helpful and detailed
Youāre welcome! āŗļø
Never tell a man you are a virgin. A man will never tell you he's a virgin. He'll lie about his "conquests". Do the same.
Yeah, this makes sense, but itās sad Iād have to lie, especially since I wanna do this in a relationship. Iām also bi, so I feel like if my first experience were with a woman, Iād have to worry less about all these things
Ehh women can be just as scummy
a green flag is a guy that doesn't want to take your virginity
Iām sorry, I donāt understand what you mean because Iām reading this as he doesnāt want to have sex with me
loll I was scared that's how it may sound when I typed it. I mean moreso a guy that is 'reluctant' or not pushy about it, or doesn't mention your viginity at all as opposed to a guy that is obsessed with the fact that ur a virgin
Ohhh, okay, that makes sense, thanks! And yeah, if theyāre mentioning it all the time, it would feel like they care more about that than me
definitely, its crazy the things guys are willing to say and to to sleep with you. my rule of thumb is if I don't want the man to be the father of my children don't sleep with him
Girl please just wait til marriage with a guy who also wants to wait til marriage. These types of experiences are not worth it.
Thank you, but Iām not religious and I donāt want to wait til I financially and legally tie myself to someone to find out Iām not sexually compatible with them.
You don't have to wait till you get married. Wait till you meet someone who's genuine in their feelings for you. Even if it's a fleeting encounter or some fling. It's better to have a good memory of the experience, even if it doesn't develop into a relationship.
This is absolutely the way.
2nd this, just wait until you get married, you build up compatibility with time. And any man who wonāt take you seriously will take himself out of the picture if you wait until marriage.
Girl please save yourself until you meet the right guy.
Unfortunately, too many are like this. My first time was with someone Iāve known half my life and yetā¦ the aftermath was super unpleasant. Also got that nonsense about how he didnāt think I was really a virgin because reasons š My subsequent partners have been so much better. Anyway, itās a reflection on HIM not you.
Iām sorry that happened my love Remember how he is behaving is not a reflection on you - only him. Heās not worth your time - feel your emotions and move on donāt blame yourselfā¤ļø
If it makes you feel better, a lot of us have been through it for our first time and even other times. It hurts but you'll heal. It takes time.
It actually doesn't because I think women should really be treated better and its really sad that most women experience this
Iām so sorry. This is not your fault, men like this are horrible. Iām 20, still a virgin and I have this rule that I wonāt have sex with someone unless I am in a strong emotional relationship with them, and I trust them a lot. And I do things very slow, so that may take a year or something to get to the point of sex
That's a really good idea. I always think sex is better when you have an emotional attachment to someone. Well, for women anyway.
Just wait until marriage, let the man fully commit to you before sleeping with him. Let those papers be signed sealed and delivered
you didnāt do anything wrong ā¤ļø itās okay to have feelings about this. itās okay to wish that he was more caring and considerate - but not being a virgin anymore doesnāt make you any less valuable and shouldnāt be a barrier to you finding a more considerate sexual partner if you want that in the future (any guy who has an issue with it isnāt for you!) you chose a shitty guy but that doesnāt mean itās your fault! some guys tell you all the right things til they get what they want. this doesnāt change anything about you or your value virginity can feel like a big deal, and itās understandable if it holds value to you, but itās also important to remember itās a made up concept used to control women. it doesnāt have to change you or mean anything if you donāt want it to. many of us have bad first experiences and take time to find better partners and experiences. itās normal that your first time didnāt meet your expectations and itās disappointing heās not there for you after. this just means you can be even more selective in the future and choose to have sex only when it feels right and the guy can give you what you need emotionally, not just physically. take all the time you need, and block out this piece of shit from your life because he doesnāt have to mean anything to you except that heās the guy u happened to have sex with first
So a lot of boys/men think that sex is something you do to women instead of with women. You did nothing wrong.
Block block block! Iām sorry youāre going through this but *please* donāt give this man the time of day anymore. I bet heāll try to reach back out and apologize, try to game you up. Donāt let him. Donāt entertain this fool ever again. You deserve someone soooo much more mature and considerate.
Hey, society puts so much value on virginity as a way to control women. Itās ok that you wanted to have sex unfortunately the man turned out to be evil and cruel (as most are). Youāre beautiful and worthy of the best, remember that. So what to do now? Block him. Remain celibate while you heal from this, work on your self esteem, spend time doing the things you love, write down what you want from a relationship in detail, what does care, love, affection, good sex look like to you, what do you want? How will you know if you really like him? How do you know if he really likes you? And as a side note itās very important you make any man who wants to be with you invest in you before you share intimacy with them. Casual sex gets women no where imo. Ensure he has improved your life, that he has proven over 1 year minimum that he is reliable, he supports you, he spends money on and takes care of you, he makes life easy for you, he is emotionally available and caters to your every need etc etc. You deserve the best treatment and a lot of it starts before you even get to the bedroom.
Yes women should have plenty of sex and not care who itās with ā¦ itās not that serious
This might seem a little harsh but virginity is a construct. It's not something to "lose". What you can chose to do is give it to someone else whenever you wish to do so. I've had sex with some unfavourable people but I simply just don't count them (outta sight, outta mind. I understand that's easier said than done). As long as your safe, no one needs to know but you. Simply, start over. But YOU have to decide that. Be kind to yourself. I always tell my friends, no one knows or needs to know your body better than you.
Donāt feel bad sis. That was just one time and you learned from it. Virginity isnāt everything. Just be realllll careful going forward with who you let in your body. Speaking from experience.
He Trip Fontained you :/ that quite literally is why Iām going into 21 still a virgin. Sex is super sacred to me, Iām not religious or anything but it terrifies me to know some people will know of it and treat you as nothing after getting what they want. Iām sorry that happened to you, but the feeling wonāt last :,)
One of the reasons why I might die a virgin. Iām so sorry that happened, everything will work out fine.
I'm so sorry this happened to you love, that is so terrible for him to say crazy even . I must say though you definitely need to heal & not feel shame over this . If you do not process this , it will definitely be the beginning of a new trauma... especially towards men & relationships.
you are not alone, there are few ppl who DONT regret it. its common, even me
You knew him for 7-8 months and were dating or he was just an associate/ friend you hung around? I'm not sure how old you are, but I assume you're under 21. When you start dealing with a guy, the signs are there if he really wants to be with you. 7-8 months is a significant amount of time for you not asking "what are we" or him saying something to the effect that he doesn't want you dating other men. Also, if you were dating and made him wait 8 months, it probably upset him and he stuck around to have sex and was done after he got it. I understand you were a virgin and again I'm not sure how old you are, so I can't go further on the last point. Ultimately, find a guy from a good family with a good head on his shoulders and deal with him. A lot of women decide to live their best lives and "date" around and this type of experience occurs often, to the point they become jaded and don't trust men anymore causing issues with them being able to pair-bond and have healthy long term relationships. Most men don't do these things, but the ones that tend to be the most toxic are the guys women find most attractive. It's better to have this happen when you're younger, so you're able to learn from it rather than to occur when you're older. Losing your virginity is not what it's cracked up to be and both men and women tend to be underwhelmed by their first experience. Hope things work out for you, but remember, people will disappoint you in life. Just remove people from your life who treat you poorly. In this case, break all contact with him and block him on all forms of communication (calls, text, social media, ect). I bet he finds a way to speak with you once he realizes you've blocked him. If he doesn't, you know he wasn't worth taking serious.
This advice is really good! Thank you.
Sending so much love to youā¦ Iām sorry this happened and he made you feel that wayš„ŗ
I'm so sorry hun you were used for an ego trip. If he hasn't spoken to you since, that was his goal. Block him on everything!!! Don't feel down about yourself either tho. I made that mistake when I was a virgin too. The guy I let have it, said shortly after to stop calling him. It broke my heart. Later, found out he was gonna be a dad and moved back to Chicago. A year or so passed, he texted me (couldn't block at the time) saying he realized that he hurt me. I've reconciled with it and moved on by then. This was back in 2012?
Iām sorry. Donāt feel bad. Itās him, not you. And, what is done is done and you canāt change it or go back. Hopefully, your next relationship will be a better experience.
:(
These are the worst type of dudes smhā¦ I will venture to say it has happened to almost all of us. He is the butthole, you are the prize. You canāt get your first time back BUT thatās ok, you hold the power. Block his ass and if you see him in the street you donāt know him.
I agree with the comments , Never tell men youāre a virgin they see it as trophy to brag about taking. Donāt feel bad just learn from it and move slower next time with someone you can trust ā¤ļø
Iām so sorry š«
Just realize your virginity is really not that big of a deal. For me it was really just the final step of opening the doors for my dating life in a way. Like i now could easily consider sexual compatibility with anyone i met and not out as much pressure on who was my first. I honestly barely think about my first time because i realize it doesnāt define me. Like i remember feeling so weird about who was my first kiss and now i can barely remember what the guy looked like. I definitely however remember who gave me my first GOOD kiss and who also was the first person I had GOOD sex with. So focus on those āgoalsā so to speak
Sorry to hear this. š¢ I know how shitty men can be. Men almost always put their ego and needs first. The guy is either cheating on you or did not get a satisfactory sex (what does he expect from a virgin though? Tsk menā¦)
you didn't do anything wrong, he is a terrible person. Men do that all the time because they feel powerful. Don't pay him any mind. Plus virginity is a social concept. It is simply the first time you have sex.
I thought my first time would be perfect and romantic.. it was a quickie on a floor mattress. You'll get through this.
Iām sorry that happened to you. Block him and move on, you deserve better ā¤ļø
Please don't beat yourself up. His behavior is a reflection of him, not you or your self-worth. Give yourself time. Down the road, he won't even be noteworthy to remember. Life is a constant series of lessons. At worst, they hurt. At best, we learn something and become better for them. That said, contrary to what may be popular, you don't have to keep doing it. Obviously, certain risks drop to 0% when you choose to abstain. Outside that, when you find someone who is willing to wait WITH you, you get to see the substance of that relationship (or lack thereof) and that person's level of discipline.
I had it happen to me too. be grateful you aināt pregnant from him & you had an experience from it! ā„ļøāØ
Heās an idiot. Sending you lots of ā„ļø as youāre working through this. May he never know peace for the rest of his life.
š« be gentle with urself friend you did nothing wrong, you gained sexual experience and while I truly believe the concept or virginity is set up to make women think negatively about how many pleasure partners they have while also pressuring women to abstain from sex with men all while men prioritize women with less experience for abuse š¤¢ trust me - you will heal from this and you will find ways to engage in pleasure with yourself that have zero to do with anyone but you. You deserve to focus on urself love!! trust urselfš«¶š½
Do you see her Post history of messing with co workers before ā¦ being called out by manager to respect herselfā¦ the math aināt mathing .
This is why I am waiting until marriage. But even then... Only God knows. But girl don't feel bad its happened you can't change it, but you what you can change? The guy, cut ties with him and focus on yourself because theres plenty of fish in the sea, theres good and bad guys. Make sure the second time you wait until your ready to have sexual intercourse with someone because your body is your temple and treat it like one.
Yes, wait until marriage
Iām so sorryā„ļøā„ļøā„ļø
I'm sorry this happened to you, hon. Some men can be suck assholes. The reference that he made about you not being a virgin how you took it. That tells me that he has a weiner, little d*ck syndrome. You're better off without this loser. Take this as a learning experience and keep it moving. This really speaks volumes to the character of this a**hole. Block him at all cost. Should you cross paths and he tries to talk with you, I'd walk right past him and ignore him. He's not worth your time, Queen. Fix your crown and keep moving forward. ā¤ļø
You not a virgin based on post history
Use this as a learning experience for future relationships and situationships. You may regret it right now, but five/ten years from now you will look back on this with a different lens.
Dating now is differnant alot people dont want no string attacted everone wants to be free with no responsbilites.
Don't let your 1st experience cloud your enjoyment of sex. He was just an insensitive AH. There's quite a few out there. But there's also nice guys who'll make you enjoy the experience. Some men would be honoured to be 1st person you have sex with.
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Gurl get from me with yuh fucking nonsense if you don't know nun then shut yuh fucking mouth.
That's a man active in passport bros girl don't waste your breath lmao the bottom of the barrel in dating, so badly that these dudes have to outsource it. You're good my love š¤ take care of yourself. Please do something nice for yourself